A/N As usual my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Note to
Sandy: you crack me up! But don't worry about Mark. I have plans for
him! Thanks so much!
Chapter 26
"Cass?" Roger whispered. "Are you asleep?"
"No. I was just thinking."
"Oh. Do you want anything? Something to eat?"
"No. I'm okay. Well, I guess I'm not okay, but I'm not hungry.
"Okay. So what do you want to do?" Roger asked her. He was lying on his side propped up on his elbow. He still had his arm around her waist. Roger had started playing with the lower edge of her shirt. As he listened to her talk he was flicking the material between his fingers. As he looked up to ask her what she wanted to do, his fingers slipped. He missed the edge of the shirt and his fingers accidentally landed under it. It was only the tips of his fingers, and only for the slightest of seconds. Two, three seconds at the most. But as he made contact with her skin Roger could feel the electricity from that one little touch, run through his entire body. He jerked his hands back, fast and hard. So fast and hard that he knew she had to of noticed. Smooth Roge, real smooth.
Cass felt his fingers touch her skin. Up till that moment, she had been afraid that the next guy that touched her, real actually touched her would make her puke. The idea of it alone had been enough to almost make her sick. She didn't think she would ever be able to have anything to do with any guy like that ever again.
That was one of the reasons she came here. She and Mark were such good friends. They were more than friends. They had grown too much. They meant too much to each other. They loved each other with all their hearts and souls, but Cass was pretty sure they would never go back to where they started. And she was okay with that. And so was Mark as far as she could tell. She knew that no matter what happened, or how she looked or felt to anyone else, Mark would always be there for her. He would always lover her. No matter how revolting the idea of touching her was after all this, to anyone else, she knew Mark would never judge her. He would never hate her, never pull away from her. He would always lover here.
Up until he opened the door, what seemed like so long ago, she had forgotten all about Roger. Roger who was so different but so the same as Mark. She had always known what she could count on and expect out of Mark. Cass has begun to hope for the same out of Roger. Actually, secretly, deep down inside she had started to hope for even more.
All the time she had spent with him. Everywhere they went, anytime any thing had happened, Roger was there for her. He held her. He talked to her. He comforted her. He took care of her and protected her. He swore he would never let anyone hurt her again. But he had never touched her. Not like that at least. Not until now.
Now, right now, in that spilt second when his fingers touched her, she felt it. She felt the heat and electricity that came out of his fingertips. She felt some of the fears she had been holding deep inside start to move. Start to just shift in the slightest. Maybe start to fade a degree or two. Maybe. Someday maybe.
All of that ran through her mind during that one second. It ran through her brain and started to make her feel better. So much better. Until that next second. The next second when he yanked his hand away from her skin. Almost as if it hurt him to touch her. Hurt him. Revolt him. Disgust him.
What did she want to do was what he was asking her when he accidentally touched her and he couldn't stand the feel of her. She rolled over away from him. "Nothing." Cass snapped in an icy, emotionless voice. "Don't worry." She said as she stood up and stormed out of the room. "I don't want anything."
Roger sat up on the bed as she stood up like that. "Cass." He hopped up as she stormed out, slipping on the garbage bag Mark had brought the laundry home in last week. Roger fell down to one knee when his foot slid forward. "Cass! I didn't mean to! It's not you Cass! I, Cass I never, I'm sorry!" He yelled after her as he pulled himself off the floor. "I'm sorry Cass! I'm sorry!" He yelled as he heard her slam Mark's door closed.
You fucking idiot Roger! How could you be so stupid? You're a fucking chickenshit who's scared of getting hurt again and because of that she thinks you hate her! How could you have been such an idiot?
He heard her slid the dresser in front of the door a little, just enough to keep it closed. "Go the fuck away Roger!" She screamed at him through the door. "Just go away!"
"Cass I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anything by that Cass. I'm sorry! It didn't have anything to do with you Cass! I'm sorry!" Roger slid onto his knees in front of the door. "I'm sorry Cass. I'm so sorry I'm such a fucking idiot Cass! I'm so sorry I'm an idiot." Roger started sobbing as he spoke to her from the floor in front of the door.
I'm a chickenshit idiot, who has managed to fuck up one more person's life Roger thought. He didn't know it was possible to let down and hurt as many people as he has in his life, and the list and number just seems to keep growing. How could he do that to her? And Mark? For this Mark would hate him. Over the years he had done a lot to Mark. He had given Mark plenty of reasons for himto hate him. But Mark never did. Until now. He'll hate you now. He'll have to now. He loves her. He'd have to hate him for hurting Cass like that.
Mark you're going to hate me and I'm so sorry. I was trying to do better by you and I've blown it beyond any repair. Roger could hear the conversation in his head. He could see the look that would wash over Mark's face. The way Mark would start to shake as the anger built up. And the way Roger would feel when Mark would silently turn and just walk away from him. Leaving him alone with nothing. Maybe for good this time.
Oh God Mark I'm an idiot. Can you ever forgive me? No of course you can't. Cass. Mark. Mark. Mark? Where is Mark? He should have been over here by now. Asking Roger what the fuck he did? How could he have done that? Making sure Cass was okay. Taking care of her.
"I'm sorry Cass." He told her again softly. God he was tired all of a sudden. He didn't have an ounce of energy left in him. "I'm sorry Cass. I'd never do that to you Cass. Please believe me. Please Cass." The tears were rolling down his face. "I'm such a chickenshit Cass. Really I am. That had nothing to do with you Cass. I swear Cass. If I wasn't such a big frigging coward that never would have happened. I'm so sorry Cass. Please believe me." His voice started to trail off. "Please believe me. I'd never do that to you Cass. I couldn't. Cause, cause I think I love you." Roger dropped his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees.
He sat there like that for a few minutes. Not saying anything. Just listening to the quietness of the loft. Finally he stood up. "Cass, I'm, I'm going back in the other room, if you want to come out of there or anything. I'll go back in my room. So you don't have to see me or anything if you don't want."
******
Mark, Jen and Maureen sat at the table staring at Joanne. She had headphones on and they were plugged into Maureen's walkman. She would listen, sometimes rewind, and listen again. Sometimes she would flip open a French dictionary. Then she would write down a few words. They cold all tell by the look on her face that whatever she was hearing, was not very nice.
Joanne turned off the tape and pulled off the headphones. "I remember now why I never wanted anything to do with family law. That is one fucked up family." She shook her head.
"That much we already know. But what about what they said?" Jen asked. "He didn't say anything about come here or anything did he?"
"No, not really. Not in so many words."
"Well what did they say in so many wards then?" Mark asked.
"Well," Joanne began as she looked around the table. "The first one, her aunt? Well she was really upset with Cass. She wanted to know how Cass cold make up all those lies about her wonderful son. There were also a bunch of not so nice names and things she said. I know a lot of them were curse words, just not exactly what they all translate too. Not that that really matters."
"Okay, so we now know Gigi's a bigger bitch than we imagined before." Mark swallowed. "What about him?"
"Basically, he called her a lying little slut whore who got what she deserved for holding out on him. And then he started going on about how if she starts any more trouble for him how then she'll really get it."
"Did he say anything else?" Jen asked.
"Not really." Joanne said, but she dropped her eyes down to the table. Those intense, direct lawyer eyes that always made contact with who ever she was talking too.
It was not a move that Mark missed. "What do you mean? What else did he say?"
"Nothing really Mark. It was just a lot of talk."
"Tell me what he said." Mark demanded.
"Mark you don't want to know." She told him in one of her strongest lawyer voices.
"Joanne just tell me."
"No Mark! You don't need to know. He's just a rude bastard that was out to hurt her even more by saying what he said. Nobody needs to hear that part. Okay? Will you just trust me? Please?"
"Marky," Maureen said quietly to him. "Maybe you better just trust Joanne on this. You know? I mean if it was something vital or would change anything that would be different. But if it was only said to hurt her, then Joanne's telling you, just means he got what he wanted. To hurt her more. See?"
Mark nodded. He wanted to know, but just like the conversation Cass and Roger were having when he left, he really didn't want to know. He didn't want details. The stuff his brain could come up with on it's own was bad enough. Mark decided Maureen was right, and there was no point in helping his brain. Or that bastard Anton.
"Joanne is there anything they can do? Like legally?" Jen asked.
"Well I don't know about Italian law, but I would assume rape and assault and battery are illegal there as well as here. But I'm sure to press charges she would have to do it there. Which meant doing it before she left, which I don't see having happened. The only other option is going back over there to press charges now."
"That'll never happen." Mark told them.
"It doesn't matter anyway." Joanne explained. "Unless he's there in Italy. And probably walks himself into the police station. I doubt they would go looking for him. And definitely not out of the country."
"But what about here, in the states?" Jen asked.
"Yeah Pookie, isn't there any way to keep him away or make him stop calling?"
"Well speaking as your attorney, pro bono of course, I'd have to say no, not really. I mean we could try and get a restraining order against him. But I hate to say it, a piece of paper doesn't really do much to stop anyone from anything. Especially when they aren't really scared of getting into trouble with the police." She let out a heavy sigh. "Other than that, no not really. Sometimes the legal system really sucks." She tossed the pencil onto the table.
"You're right." Jen started. "He's not scared of getting into trouble with the police I bet. But maybe he's scared of her father and uncle. Maybe letting them hear that, or part of that at least, might help. Maybe they'll do something about him then."
"She might be right. That could help control him some." Maureen said.
"What?" Mark asked her. "You want me to call Carlton and say your filthy pig of a nephew is leaving dirty messages on my answering machine? That will get me far I'm sure. And there's no way I'm letting Cass do that."
"No, Mark's right." Joanne agreed. But she had gotten that sharp lawyer look back into her eyes. "I don't want Cass to have to ever hear the rest of this tape if we can help it. She doesn't need that. And her uncle and father won't respond to a call from Mark I don't think. But Mark's attorney may get a little more respect. That's someone they are more inclined to be used to dealing with. As opposed to one of their kids little friends. No offense Mark."
"No, it's okay. And you're probably right. They are real corporate types. More so than anyone we would ever see or deal with here in New York. Me they'd laugh at, but Joanne Jefferson, attorney at law, might just work. Will you do it?" He asked with huge, pathetic begging blue eyes.
"Of course, but we have to check with Cass first."
Mark stood up from the table. "Well let's go then."
*****
Roger walked into his room and stepped into the puddle of tea on the floor. Mark and his damn tea. He turned and went back out to the kitchen for a towel. On his way he saw the note from Mark.
He was still standing there, debating if he should call him. But call him and say what? Come home. Your no good fucking roommate and supposed best friend is a complete moron. Who let you down again by the way. Not to mention what I did to Cass, which Mark your gonna hate me for. Oh yeah that's a phone call he wanted to make. Well you've already established you're a complete chickenshit Davis, you might as well wait for Mark to come home and find out on his own now. That way he'll have something else to use against you.
Just then Mark's bedroom door opened and Cass stepped out. She just looked at him for a second. "Where's Mark?" She asked quietly.
"He's not here." Roger's eyes dropped. He couldn't look at her. "They went to see Joanne. To have her translate the rest of the messages. They just wanted to make sure he didn't say anything about coming here or anything. He didn't want you to have to listen to the rest of it." With eyes still on the floor he kept talking. "I can call him if you want. If you want him to come home now."
"No it's okay."
"Are you sure?" He asked her in a defeated, beaten down voice. "I will if that's what you want. If not I'll leave you alone. Just give me like five minutes and I'll take off for a while. Unless you don't want to stay here alone. I'll just go in the other room then. Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want."
"No, don't leave Roger. I want to, I need to ask you something."
Roger walked around the bar into the living room area as Cass walked over towards the couch. But she didn't sit down. She never took her eyes off of him.
"What did you mean?"
"I never meant for you to think anything like that Cass! I just didn't expect to, you now, feel that. And I wasn't ready for that. And not cause it was you or anything either. You gotta believe that. It wouldn't have mattered who it was. I wasn't ready for that."
"Okay. I sort of understand. I guess. But I meant what did you mean about the other part? The last part?"
Roger had to think for a second. The other part? That he would leave? Go back in the other room? That it wasn't her? It was him? That he would never do that to her? No, he knew it was none of those. It was the other part that he said. The words that had floated in and out of his brain, but he hadn't even realized they actually came out of his mouth, at least audibly.
"I, I never should have said that." Out loud at least. "I'm sorry Cass you don't need crap like that," like me, "right now. I'm sorry."
"Roger tell me again what you said." She asked him never taking her eyes off him.
"I said, I said I think I love you." He told her barely above a whisper with his eyes still on the floor. "I'm sorry Cass."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would you say that? Why would you even think that? You don't even know me. Hell you didn't even remember Mark talking about me. Why would you even think that? You don't know anything about me." Her voice was losing some of the strength she was used to possessing when she wanted to make a point. "You don't even know me. You only met me a week ago."
"You're right, I did only meet you a week ago. But it doesn't matter. You're not the same person you were two weeks ago. Neither am I. I can tell. Not only from me, but in Mark. Look at him. You can tell. He just sort of looks at us sometimes lie he's trying to figure out what's going on with us. Who we are, because I'm not he same recluse who wouldn't get off the couch and your not the same person he's talked and written to for years."
She just nodded at him. Cass didn't know what to say. She only knew that he was probably right. And that scared her some.
"I was sitting on the couch waiting to die when you knocked on the door. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone, including myself. And you changed all that in me." Roger was speaking slowly, in a clam, hushed voice. He didn't have the energy for anything more than that. "So, no I didn't know you a week ago, but I know you now. And that's what's important I guess. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
She understood exactly what he was saying. "I, I guess I do." She softly stammered. "And, and I guess maybe, maybe you're right. About this week verses the week before."
"Yeah, I'm right." Roger told her with his eyes still on the ground. He couldn't bear to look at her when he told her the next part. "And I'm sorry I said that to you. You don't need to deal with crap like that right now. I'm sorry."
"Crap like what? And why do you keep saying you're sorry?" She asked moving towards him.
'It's just, it's just," he flopped down on the couch. "I never should have thrown that out there. You've got enough to deal with right now. You don't need some total fuck up giving you that to have to think about too. The last thing you need is to have to deal with all that, with somebody like me. I'm too fucked up with too much baggage. You don't need any of that!" He was getting defensive.
She sat down next to him on the couch and laid her burnt hand on top of his. "Roger you're not a total fuck up. You're wonderful. I never could have made it through this week with out you." The tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Never." She hugged him. "Never." She whispered.
Cautiously he put his arms around her "You mean it? You don't hate me?"
"No, I don't hate you! I was really pissed at you for awhile but I don't hate you. Really. I never would have gotten through without you. You and Mark. But especially you."
"Oh god Cass." He said into her ear as he started running his fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to think anything by that. I just wasn't ready for anything, you know?"
"Uh huh. Me either I guess."
"So we're okay? Me and you?"
Cass paused to think. "Yes." She told him as they broke apart and she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Just a little different I guess." She watched the worried look come over his face. "Not different bad, just different from say yesterday. Sort of."
"Okay." He said softly. "I guess you're right. I can't take back what I said. Not that I want to." He looked in to her eyes for the first time since this whole mess began. But we can't pretend it's not out there either." Roger knew at least he couldn't
Cass nodded in agreement as Roger continued. "I guess, maybe, we need to just keep going. Moving forward. With everything. You, me, this whole thing, everything. Let's just, can we just sort of take this whole thing slow? Real slow?"
"That's probably a really good idea." She agreed
Chapter 26
"Cass?" Roger whispered. "Are you asleep?"
"No. I was just thinking."
"Oh. Do you want anything? Something to eat?"
"No. I'm okay. Well, I guess I'm not okay, but I'm not hungry.
"Okay. So what do you want to do?" Roger asked her. He was lying on his side propped up on his elbow. He still had his arm around her waist. Roger had started playing with the lower edge of her shirt. As he listened to her talk he was flicking the material between his fingers. As he looked up to ask her what she wanted to do, his fingers slipped. He missed the edge of the shirt and his fingers accidentally landed under it. It was only the tips of his fingers, and only for the slightest of seconds. Two, three seconds at the most. But as he made contact with her skin Roger could feel the electricity from that one little touch, run through his entire body. He jerked his hands back, fast and hard. So fast and hard that he knew she had to of noticed. Smooth Roge, real smooth.
Cass felt his fingers touch her skin. Up till that moment, she had been afraid that the next guy that touched her, real actually touched her would make her puke. The idea of it alone had been enough to almost make her sick. She didn't think she would ever be able to have anything to do with any guy like that ever again.
That was one of the reasons she came here. She and Mark were such good friends. They were more than friends. They had grown too much. They meant too much to each other. They loved each other with all their hearts and souls, but Cass was pretty sure they would never go back to where they started. And she was okay with that. And so was Mark as far as she could tell. She knew that no matter what happened, or how she looked or felt to anyone else, Mark would always be there for her. He would always lover her. No matter how revolting the idea of touching her was after all this, to anyone else, she knew Mark would never judge her. He would never hate her, never pull away from her. He would always lover here.
Up until he opened the door, what seemed like so long ago, she had forgotten all about Roger. Roger who was so different but so the same as Mark. She had always known what she could count on and expect out of Mark. Cass has begun to hope for the same out of Roger. Actually, secretly, deep down inside she had started to hope for even more.
All the time she had spent with him. Everywhere they went, anytime any thing had happened, Roger was there for her. He held her. He talked to her. He comforted her. He took care of her and protected her. He swore he would never let anyone hurt her again. But he had never touched her. Not like that at least. Not until now.
Now, right now, in that spilt second when his fingers touched her, she felt it. She felt the heat and electricity that came out of his fingertips. She felt some of the fears she had been holding deep inside start to move. Start to just shift in the slightest. Maybe start to fade a degree or two. Maybe. Someday maybe.
All of that ran through her mind during that one second. It ran through her brain and started to make her feel better. So much better. Until that next second. The next second when he yanked his hand away from her skin. Almost as if it hurt him to touch her. Hurt him. Revolt him. Disgust him.
What did she want to do was what he was asking her when he accidentally touched her and he couldn't stand the feel of her. She rolled over away from him. "Nothing." Cass snapped in an icy, emotionless voice. "Don't worry." She said as she stood up and stormed out of the room. "I don't want anything."
Roger sat up on the bed as she stood up like that. "Cass." He hopped up as she stormed out, slipping on the garbage bag Mark had brought the laundry home in last week. Roger fell down to one knee when his foot slid forward. "Cass! I didn't mean to! It's not you Cass! I, Cass I never, I'm sorry!" He yelled after her as he pulled himself off the floor. "I'm sorry Cass! I'm sorry!" He yelled as he heard her slam Mark's door closed.
You fucking idiot Roger! How could you be so stupid? You're a fucking chickenshit who's scared of getting hurt again and because of that she thinks you hate her! How could you have been such an idiot?
He heard her slid the dresser in front of the door a little, just enough to keep it closed. "Go the fuck away Roger!" She screamed at him through the door. "Just go away!"
"Cass I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anything by that Cass. I'm sorry! It didn't have anything to do with you Cass! I'm sorry!" Roger slid onto his knees in front of the door. "I'm sorry Cass. I'm so sorry I'm such a fucking idiot Cass! I'm so sorry I'm an idiot." Roger started sobbing as he spoke to her from the floor in front of the door.
I'm a chickenshit idiot, who has managed to fuck up one more person's life Roger thought. He didn't know it was possible to let down and hurt as many people as he has in his life, and the list and number just seems to keep growing. How could he do that to her? And Mark? For this Mark would hate him. Over the years he had done a lot to Mark. He had given Mark plenty of reasons for himto hate him. But Mark never did. Until now. He'll hate you now. He'll have to now. He loves her. He'd have to hate him for hurting Cass like that.
Mark you're going to hate me and I'm so sorry. I was trying to do better by you and I've blown it beyond any repair. Roger could hear the conversation in his head. He could see the look that would wash over Mark's face. The way Mark would start to shake as the anger built up. And the way Roger would feel when Mark would silently turn and just walk away from him. Leaving him alone with nothing. Maybe for good this time.
Oh God Mark I'm an idiot. Can you ever forgive me? No of course you can't. Cass. Mark. Mark. Mark? Where is Mark? He should have been over here by now. Asking Roger what the fuck he did? How could he have done that? Making sure Cass was okay. Taking care of her.
"I'm sorry Cass." He told her again softly. God he was tired all of a sudden. He didn't have an ounce of energy left in him. "I'm sorry Cass. I'd never do that to you Cass. Please believe me. Please Cass." The tears were rolling down his face. "I'm such a chickenshit Cass. Really I am. That had nothing to do with you Cass. I swear Cass. If I wasn't such a big frigging coward that never would have happened. I'm so sorry Cass. Please believe me." His voice started to trail off. "Please believe me. I'd never do that to you Cass. I couldn't. Cause, cause I think I love you." Roger dropped his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees.
He sat there like that for a few minutes. Not saying anything. Just listening to the quietness of the loft. Finally he stood up. "Cass, I'm, I'm going back in the other room, if you want to come out of there or anything. I'll go back in my room. So you don't have to see me or anything if you don't want."
******
Mark, Jen and Maureen sat at the table staring at Joanne. She had headphones on and they were plugged into Maureen's walkman. She would listen, sometimes rewind, and listen again. Sometimes she would flip open a French dictionary. Then she would write down a few words. They cold all tell by the look on her face that whatever she was hearing, was not very nice.
Joanne turned off the tape and pulled off the headphones. "I remember now why I never wanted anything to do with family law. That is one fucked up family." She shook her head.
"That much we already know. But what about what they said?" Jen asked. "He didn't say anything about come here or anything did he?"
"No, not really. Not in so many words."
"Well what did they say in so many wards then?" Mark asked.
"Well," Joanne began as she looked around the table. "The first one, her aunt? Well she was really upset with Cass. She wanted to know how Cass cold make up all those lies about her wonderful son. There were also a bunch of not so nice names and things she said. I know a lot of them were curse words, just not exactly what they all translate too. Not that that really matters."
"Okay, so we now know Gigi's a bigger bitch than we imagined before." Mark swallowed. "What about him?"
"Basically, he called her a lying little slut whore who got what she deserved for holding out on him. And then he started going on about how if she starts any more trouble for him how then she'll really get it."
"Did he say anything else?" Jen asked.
"Not really." Joanne said, but she dropped her eyes down to the table. Those intense, direct lawyer eyes that always made contact with who ever she was talking too.
It was not a move that Mark missed. "What do you mean? What else did he say?"
"Nothing really Mark. It was just a lot of talk."
"Tell me what he said." Mark demanded.
"Mark you don't want to know." She told him in one of her strongest lawyer voices.
"Joanne just tell me."
"No Mark! You don't need to know. He's just a rude bastard that was out to hurt her even more by saying what he said. Nobody needs to hear that part. Okay? Will you just trust me? Please?"
"Marky," Maureen said quietly to him. "Maybe you better just trust Joanne on this. You know? I mean if it was something vital or would change anything that would be different. But if it was only said to hurt her, then Joanne's telling you, just means he got what he wanted. To hurt her more. See?"
Mark nodded. He wanted to know, but just like the conversation Cass and Roger were having when he left, he really didn't want to know. He didn't want details. The stuff his brain could come up with on it's own was bad enough. Mark decided Maureen was right, and there was no point in helping his brain. Or that bastard Anton.
"Joanne is there anything they can do? Like legally?" Jen asked.
"Well I don't know about Italian law, but I would assume rape and assault and battery are illegal there as well as here. But I'm sure to press charges she would have to do it there. Which meant doing it before she left, which I don't see having happened. The only other option is going back over there to press charges now."
"That'll never happen." Mark told them.
"It doesn't matter anyway." Joanne explained. "Unless he's there in Italy. And probably walks himself into the police station. I doubt they would go looking for him. And definitely not out of the country."
"But what about here, in the states?" Jen asked.
"Yeah Pookie, isn't there any way to keep him away or make him stop calling?"
"Well speaking as your attorney, pro bono of course, I'd have to say no, not really. I mean we could try and get a restraining order against him. But I hate to say it, a piece of paper doesn't really do much to stop anyone from anything. Especially when they aren't really scared of getting into trouble with the police." She let out a heavy sigh. "Other than that, no not really. Sometimes the legal system really sucks." She tossed the pencil onto the table.
"You're right." Jen started. "He's not scared of getting into trouble with the police I bet. But maybe he's scared of her father and uncle. Maybe letting them hear that, or part of that at least, might help. Maybe they'll do something about him then."
"She might be right. That could help control him some." Maureen said.
"What?" Mark asked her. "You want me to call Carlton and say your filthy pig of a nephew is leaving dirty messages on my answering machine? That will get me far I'm sure. And there's no way I'm letting Cass do that."
"No, Mark's right." Joanne agreed. But she had gotten that sharp lawyer look back into her eyes. "I don't want Cass to have to ever hear the rest of this tape if we can help it. She doesn't need that. And her uncle and father won't respond to a call from Mark I don't think. But Mark's attorney may get a little more respect. That's someone they are more inclined to be used to dealing with. As opposed to one of their kids little friends. No offense Mark."
"No, it's okay. And you're probably right. They are real corporate types. More so than anyone we would ever see or deal with here in New York. Me they'd laugh at, but Joanne Jefferson, attorney at law, might just work. Will you do it?" He asked with huge, pathetic begging blue eyes.
"Of course, but we have to check with Cass first."
Mark stood up from the table. "Well let's go then."
*****
Roger walked into his room and stepped into the puddle of tea on the floor. Mark and his damn tea. He turned and went back out to the kitchen for a towel. On his way he saw the note from Mark.
He was still standing there, debating if he should call him. But call him and say what? Come home. Your no good fucking roommate and supposed best friend is a complete moron. Who let you down again by the way. Not to mention what I did to Cass, which Mark your gonna hate me for. Oh yeah that's a phone call he wanted to make. Well you've already established you're a complete chickenshit Davis, you might as well wait for Mark to come home and find out on his own now. That way he'll have something else to use against you.
Just then Mark's bedroom door opened and Cass stepped out. She just looked at him for a second. "Where's Mark?" She asked quietly.
"He's not here." Roger's eyes dropped. He couldn't look at her. "They went to see Joanne. To have her translate the rest of the messages. They just wanted to make sure he didn't say anything about coming here or anything. He didn't want you to have to listen to the rest of it." With eyes still on the floor he kept talking. "I can call him if you want. If you want him to come home now."
"No it's okay."
"Are you sure?" He asked her in a defeated, beaten down voice. "I will if that's what you want. If not I'll leave you alone. Just give me like five minutes and I'll take off for a while. Unless you don't want to stay here alone. I'll just go in the other room then. Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want."
"No, don't leave Roger. I want to, I need to ask you something."
Roger walked around the bar into the living room area as Cass walked over towards the couch. But she didn't sit down. She never took her eyes off of him.
"What did you mean?"
"I never meant for you to think anything like that Cass! I just didn't expect to, you now, feel that. And I wasn't ready for that. And not cause it was you or anything either. You gotta believe that. It wouldn't have mattered who it was. I wasn't ready for that."
"Okay. I sort of understand. I guess. But I meant what did you mean about the other part? The last part?"
Roger had to think for a second. The other part? That he would leave? Go back in the other room? That it wasn't her? It was him? That he would never do that to her? No, he knew it was none of those. It was the other part that he said. The words that had floated in and out of his brain, but he hadn't even realized they actually came out of his mouth, at least audibly.
"I, I never should have said that." Out loud at least. "I'm sorry Cass you don't need crap like that," like me, "right now. I'm sorry."
"Roger tell me again what you said." She asked him never taking her eyes off him.
"I said, I said I think I love you." He told her barely above a whisper with his eyes still on the floor. "I'm sorry Cass."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would you say that? Why would you even think that? You don't even know me. Hell you didn't even remember Mark talking about me. Why would you even think that? You don't know anything about me." Her voice was losing some of the strength she was used to possessing when she wanted to make a point. "You don't even know me. You only met me a week ago."
"You're right, I did only meet you a week ago. But it doesn't matter. You're not the same person you were two weeks ago. Neither am I. I can tell. Not only from me, but in Mark. Look at him. You can tell. He just sort of looks at us sometimes lie he's trying to figure out what's going on with us. Who we are, because I'm not he same recluse who wouldn't get off the couch and your not the same person he's talked and written to for years."
She just nodded at him. Cass didn't know what to say. She only knew that he was probably right. And that scared her some.
"I was sitting on the couch waiting to die when you knocked on the door. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone, including myself. And you changed all that in me." Roger was speaking slowly, in a clam, hushed voice. He didn't have the energy for anything more than that. "So, no I didn't know you a week ago, but I know you now. And that's what's important I guess. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
She understood exactly what he was saying. "I, I guess I do." She softly stammered. "And, and I guess maybe, maybe you're right. About this week verses the week before."
"Yeah, I'm right." Roger told her with his eyes still on the ground. He couldn't bear to look at her when he told her the next part. "And I'm sorry I said that to you. You don't need to deal with crap like that right now. I'm sorry."
"Crap like what? And why do you keep saying you're sorry?" She asked moving towards him.
'It's just, it's just," he flopped down on the couch. "I never should have thrown that out there. You've got enough to deal with right now. You don't need some total fuck up giving you that to have to think about too. The last thing you need is to have to deal with all that, with somebody like me. I'm too fucked up with too much baggage. You don't need any of that!" He was getting defensive.
She sat down next to him on the couch and laid her burnt hand on top of his. "Roger you're not a total fuck up. You're wonderful. I never could have made it through this week with out you." The tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Never." She hugged him. "Never." She whispered.
Cautiously he put his arms around her "You mean it? You don't hate me?"
"No, I don't hate you! I was really pissed at you for awhile but I don't hate you. Really. I never would have gotten through without you. You and Mark. But especially you."
"Oh god Cass." He said into her ear as he started running his fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to think anything by that. I just wasn't ready for anything, you know?"
"Uh huh. Me either I guess."
"So we're okay? Me and you?"
Cass paused to think. "Yes." She told him as they broke apart and she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Just a little different I guess." She watched the worried look come over his face. "Not different bad, just different from say yesterday. Sort of."
"Okay." He said softly. "I guess you're right. I can't take back what I said. Not that I want to." He looked in to her eyes for the first time since this whole mess began. But we can't pretend it's not out there either." Roger knew at least he couldn't
Cass nodded in agreement as Roger continued. "I guess, maybe, we need to just keep going. Moving forward. With everything. You, me, this whole thing, everything. Let's just, can we just sort of take this whole thing slow? Real slow?"
"That's probably a really good idea." She agreed