What If LOTR Went Horribly Wrong?
Ok, I'm back with Chapter Five (I think this is chapter five, I lost
count.) Anyway, here we go with another retarded episode!
By The River
Legolas: Come on, Aragorn, we've been sitting here for HOURS! Make up your
mind already!
Gimli: It's been a grand total of five minutes.
Legolas: How do you know? You don't have a watch!
Gimli: Oh yes I. . .don't.
Legolas: Right! Watches haven't been invented yet.
Aragorn: We follow the Orcs.
Legolas: Does that have anything at all to do with what I just said?
Aragorn: No. But I'm the boss so I get to tell you what to do.
Legolas: EVIL PERSON!
Aragorn: Heyyyy! YOU'RE the one who told me not to use the capital letters!
Legolas: WhatEVER.
----------------Later----------------
Aragorn: Pick up the boat and let's go.
(Legolas huffily picks up the boat.)
Legolas: This is too difficult for one as delicate and prettiful as me!
Gimli: Fine. I'LL take the boat. (He takes the boat from Legolas)
In Moria, Under Khazad-dum
Balrog: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Gandalf: That'll do.
Balrog: Oh, you're no fun.
Gandalf: I'm an old man. What did you expect? (He promptly dies)
Balrog: Uh, okay. . .
In Lorien---Galadriel is composing her poems
Galadriel: Hey Celeborn. What rhymes with "Sea?"
Celeborn: Uh. . .thee, tree, me, tee, he, she, ye, knee, three, we, key,
fee, gee, hee, what Haldir says when he sees Orcs, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE," and my
favorite, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Galadriel: `Kay.
(5 minutes later)
Galadriel: What rhymes with "shore?"
Random Elf: Bore, door, lore, more, core, sore, roar, boar, moor, or, tore,
and war.
Galadriel: `Kay.
(10 minutes later)
Galadriel: What rhymes with Gloin?
Celeborn: Nothing really. Loin, join, and coin. That's about it.
Galadriel: Darn. I can't DO this! It's already really hard, and to top it
off, I'm recovering from a heart attack!
(15 minutes later)
Galadriel: What's a synonym for "family?"
Celeborn: I am NOT a thesaurus within a dictionary!
Galadriel: That's right. You're my husband who does WHATEVER I TELL HIM TO.
Celeborn: Relatives, relations, people, folks, kin, kinsfolk, children,
family unit, and ancestors. HAPPY NOW???
Galadriel: `Kay.
END
What do you think? I hope you guys like this, and I want to thank all my
reviewers for being SO exceedingly NICE.
Well bye for now!
~Penguin Girl
Ok, I'm back with Chapter Five (I think this is chapter five, I lost
count.) Anyway, here we go with another retarded episode!
By The River
Legolas: Come on, Aragorn, we've been sitting here for HOURS! Make up your
mind already!
Gimli: It's been a grand total of five minutes.
Legolas: How do you know? You don't have a watch!
Gimli: Oh yes I. . .don't.
Legolas: Right! Watches haven't been invented yet.
Aragorn: We follow the Orcs.
Legolas: Does that have anything at all to do with what I just said?
Aragorn: No. But I'm the boss so I get to tell you what to do.
Legolas: EVIL PERSON!
Aragorn: Heyyyy! YOU'RE the one who told me not to use the capital letters!
Legolas: WhatEVER.
----------------Later----------------
Aragorn: Pick up the boat and let's go.
(Legolas huffily picks up the boat.)
Legolas: This is too difficult for one as delicate and prettiful as me!
Gimli: Fine. I'LL take the boat. (He takes the boat from Legolas)
In Moria, Under Khazad-dum
Balrog: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Gandalf: That'll do.
Balrog: Oh, you're no fun.
Gandalf: I'm an old man. What did you expect? (He promptly dies)
Balrog: Uh, okay. . .
In Lorien---Galadriel is composing her poems
Galadriel: Hey Celeborn. What rhymes with "Sea?"
Celeborn: Uh. . .thee, tree, me, tee, he, she, ye, knee, three, we, key,
fee, gee, hee, what Haldir says when he sees Orcs, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE," and my
favorite, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Galadriel: `Kay.
(5 minutes later)
Galadriel: What rhymes with "shore?"
Random Elf: Bore, door, lore, more, core, sore, roar, boar, moor, or, tore,
and war.
Galadriel: `Kay.
(10 minutes later)
Galadriel: What rhymes with Gloin?
Celeborn: Nothing really. Loin, join, and coin. That's about it.
Galadriel: Darn. I can't DO this! It's already really hard, and to top it
off, I'm recovering from a heart attack!
(15 minutes later)
Galadriel: What's a synonym for "family?"
Celeborn: I am NOT a thesaurus within a dictionary!
Galadriel: That's right. You're my husband who does WHATEVER I TELL HIM TO.
Celeborn: Relatives, relations, people, folks, kin, kinsfolk, children,
family unit, and ancestors. HAPPY NOW???
Galadriel: `Kay.
END
What do you think? I hope you guys like this, and I want to thank all my
reviewers for being SO exceedingly NICE.
Well bye for now!
~Penguin Girl