Adventures of the Pied Pietts
Chapter 6
Lilem sighed and rested her hand on her knee. She was alone--or wished she was. Piett was banging on the door and yelling, which had given her a headache.
"OPEN UP! LET US OUT!" yelled Piett, kicking the door for effect. "I'M AN OFFICER OF THE EMPIRE, AND YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"
"Alright, enough, Piett!" snapped Lilem. "Don't you get it? The Empire doesn't have control!"
"What the blazes are you talking about? We're in the Imperial Palace! Since when doesn't the Emperor have control over his own palace?"
"Since it stopped being his palace! We're in the future."
"I refuse to believe that," replied Piett, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Yeah, well, tough luck," sighed Lilem, rubbing her temples.
"I refuse to believe that those poor, pathetic Rebels have taken over the Palace. It's simply impossible," Piett continued.
With a groan, Lilem lay down on the bunk. "They just had to put both of us in the same cell," she grumbled. Piett opened an eyes and looked at Lilem.
"Well?" he asked expectantly.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to explain how it is that the Rebels have control over the Imperial Palace?"
Lilem sat up and glared at Piett, but began. "Look, a Rebel X-wing crashed into the Executor's command deck, knocking the ship out. The Executor crashed into the Death Star, where the Emperor was. Only the Emperor was already dead because Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader's son and the Emperor was trying to kill Luke, so Vader, in his last and only act as Luke's father, threw the Emperor into the reactor core. Oh, and the theory goes to say that the Emperor was controlling everyone's mind, so when he died, everyone was momentarily confused enough so that the Rebels broke through the Executor's defenses." The explanation was accompanied by hand gestures and sound effects, including crashing sounds as one hand, representing the Executor, slammed into another hand, representing the Death Star. "Got it?"
"No. I don't believe a word of it."
"Well, let me go further. Since the Emperor was dead, the Empire was now gone, except for a few people who quickly scrambled out of the Rebel's way. The Rebels gained control of Coruscant, and that's why Leia Organa SOLO is in the Palace, and we, being Imperials, have been thrown in the dungeons. Therefore, we have somehow traveled to the future, and escaped your being killed onboard the Executor."
Piett sighed and sat down on his own bunk. "When was I supposed to die?"
"From the time I met you, about two weeks."
"Two weeks?" repeated Piett in disbelief. "But then I wouldn't have died anyways because--"
The sound of the cell door opening cut Piett off. In marched Leia, obviously intent on handling the situation herself. Before Piett could do anything stupid, Lilem stood up.
"Gentlelady Leia Organa Solo," she began in a clear, strong voice. "My name is Admiral Lilem Piett, and I represent the New Empire. This is my companion, also named Admiral Piett, and a representative of the same organization I have just named. We have arrived here to bring you our list of demands. If you do not comply, the New Empire will destroy you in the period of two days."
Leia looked at Lilem, then at Piett, who stood and stood gravely behind Lilem. "You are in no position to make demands," she informed them.
"Yes, we are," continued Lilem, with an air of being right. "If you do not comply with our demands, we will completely and utterly destroy the New Republic. I will now list our demands. First, complete dismantling of your army and navy. Second, complete dissolution of your government. Third, control over every planet controlled by the New Republic. And finally," said Lilem, taking a deep breath of air, "can you tell me how long it's been since Grand Admiral Thrawn's attack?"
"In response to your demands: One, no. Two, no. Three, no. Four, it's been ten years."
"Thank you," said Lilem, resuming her seat.
"I'm afraid that's not all," Piett said, entering the conversation. He had a smug look on his face. "What my companion has told you is false."
"Piett!" Lilem yelled, jumping onto her feet. Piett ignored her and continued.
"If you do not comply with the list of demands, the New Empire will attack in not two days, but two minutes, by which time Lilem and I will have you at blasterpoint."
Leia crossed her arms and looked down at Piett and Lilem regally. She smiled coyly. "Our intelligence is excellent, and we have heard nothing of this 'New Empire.' I think both of you are lying."
"You think?" asked Piett in an amused voice. "Can you not tell, being a Jedi?"
Leia gave a shocked look, realizing Piett was correct. Their minds were blanks.
With an ever-widening grin and a look of incredible smugness, Piett stared right into Leia's eyes. "Scared, cinnamon buns?"
Leia's gaze hardened and she gave Piett a Death Glare. It didn't phase him.
"One minute remaining," he informed everyone present, still looking incredibly smug and grinning. Lilem looked at Piett's face doubtfully, but then started to grin. She took on an air of smugness.
"I see," she stated mysteriously, assuming the same position as Piett. Leia continued to give the Death Glare, but with no results. She was starting to look frustrated and unhappy.
Lilem started to chuckle a terrible, evil chuckle. It reverberated around the room, seemed to envelop all inside without increasing in volume. The chuckle grew even more maniacal, until it became a full-blown, evil laugh. Leia didn't cringe, but the guards behind her did.
"All right, cut it out," Piett snapped at Lilem. She stopped and looked at Piett abashedly.
"Sorry," Lilem apologized.
"Ten seconds," Piett informed the room. "Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One--"
THIS IS NOT THE END!!!
Chapter 6
Lilem sighed and rested her hand on her knee. She was alone--or wished she was. Piett was banging on the door and yelling, which had given her a headache.
"OPEN UP! LET US OUT!" yelled Piett, kicking the door for effect. "I'M AN OFFICER OF THE EMPIRE, AND YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"
"Alright, enough, Piett!" snapped Lilem. "Don't you get it? The Empire doesn't have control!"
"What the blazes are you talking about? We're in the Imperial Palace! Since when doesn't the Emperor have control over his own palace?"
"Since it stopped being his palace! We're in the future."
"I refuse to believe that," replied Piett, crossing his arms and pouting.
"Yeah, well, tough luck," sighed Lilem, rubbing her temples.
"I refuse to believe that those poor, pathetic Rebels have taken over the Palace. It's simply impossible," Piett continued.
With a groan, Lilem lay down on the bunk. "They just had to put both of us in the same cell," she grumbled. Piett opened an eyes and looked at Lilem.
"Well?" he asked expectantly.
"Well what?"
"Aren't you going to explain how it is that the Rebels have control over the Imperial Palace?"
Lilem sat up and glared at Piett, but began. "Look, a Rebel X-wing crashed into the Executor's command deck, knocking the ship out. The Executor crashed into the Death Star, where the Emperor was. Only the Emperor was already dead because Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader's son and the Emperor was trying to kill Luke, so Vader, in his last and only act as Luke's father, threw the Emperor into the reactor core. Oh, and the theory goes to say that the Emperor was controlling everyone's mind, so when he died, everyone was momentarily confused enough so that the Rebels broke through the Executor's defenses." The explanation was accompanied by hand gestures and sound effects, including crashing sounds as one hand, representing the Executor, slammed into another hand, representing the Death Star. "Got it?"
"No. I don't believe a word of it."
"Well, let me go further. Since the Emperor was dead, the Empire was now gone, except for a few people who quickly scrambled out of the Rebel's way. The Rebels gained control of Coruscant, and that's why Leia Organa SOLO is in the Palace, and we, being Imperials, have been thrown in the dungeons. Therefore, we have somehow traveled to the future, and escaped your being killed onboard the Executor."
Piett sighed and sat down on his own bunk. "When was I supposed to die?"
"From the time I met you, about two weeks."
"Two weeks?" repeated Piett in disbelief. "But then I wouldn't have died anyways because--"
The sound of the cell door opening cut Piett off. In marched Leia, obviously intent on handling the situation herself. Before Piett could do anything stupid, Lilem stood up.
"Gentlelady Leia Organa Solo," she began in a clear, strong voice. "My name is Admiral Lilem Piett, and I represent the New Empire. This is my companion, also named Admiral Piett, and a representative of the same organization I have just named. We have arrived here to bring you our list of demands. If you do not comply, the New Empire will destroy you in the period of two days."
Leia looked at Lilem, then at Piett, who stood and stood gravely behind Lilem. "You are in no position to make demands," she informed them.
"Yes, we are," continued Lilem, with an air of being right. "If you do not comply with our demands, we will completely and utterly destroy the New Republic. I will now list our demands. First, complete dismantling of your army and navy. Second, complete dissolution of your government. Third, control over every planet controlled by the New Republic. And finally," said Lilem, taking a deep breath of air, "can you tell me how long it's been since Grand Admiral Thrawn's attack?"
"In response to your demands: One, no. Two, no. Three, no. Four, it's been ten years."
"Thank you," said Lilem, resuming her seat.
"I'm afraid that's not all," Piett said, entering the conversation. He had a smug look on his face. "What my companion has told you is false."
"Piett!" Lilem yelled, jumping onto her feet. Piett ignored her and continued.
"If you do not comply with the list of demands, the New Empire will attack in not two days, but two minutes, by which time Lilem and I will have you at blasterpoint."
Leia crossed her arms and looked down at Piett and Lilem regally. She smiled coyly. "Our intelligence is excellent, and we have heard nothing of this 'New Empire.' I think both of you are lying."
"You think?" asked Piett in an amused voice. "Can you not tell, being a Jedi?"
Leia gave a shocked look, realizing Piett was correct. Their minds were blanks.
With an ever-widening grin and a look of incredible smugness, Piett stared right into Leia's eyes. "Scared, cinnamon buns?"
Leia's gaze hardened and she gave Piett a Death Glare. It didn't phase him.
"One minute remaining," he informed everyone present, still looking incredibly smug and grinning. Lilem looked at Piett's face doubtfully, but then started to grin. She took on an air of smugness.
"I see," she stated mysteriously, assuming the same position as Piett. Leia continued to give the Death Glare, but with no results. She was starting to look frustrated and unhappy.
Lilem started to chuckle a terrible, evil chuckle. It reverberated around the room, seemed to envelop all inside without increasing in volume. The chuckle grew even more maniacal, until it became a full-blown, evil laugh. Leia didn't cringe, but the guards behind her did.
"All right, cut it out," Piett snapped at Lilem. She stopped and looked at Piett abashedly.
"Sorry," Lilem apologized.
"Ten seconds," Piett informed the room. "Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One--"
THIS IS NOT THE END!!!