title: A turning point in his life

author: Nathaly

pairing: Vegeta/Goku

category: AU

rating: R

disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective copyright holders.

notes: This was written one year after chapter 9. I can't guarantee perfect coherence.

Chapter 10

Had he really done that?

Clearing his mind, Goku snapped himself out of the moment. Soft fur was ghosting across his shoulders, lingering here and there and slowly sliding down his spine. Suddenly it felt too real. He couldn't deny the hand in his hair either. Goku felt very uncomfortable with himself, in particular because he had allowed this to happen.

Or maybe nothing had happened at all? Goku decided to favor action to musing.

He pushed his shoulders back trying to raise his face from its place pressed to the other's chest. Tensing the muscles in his back he managed to get some distance between his face and the warm body. The hand left his hair.

He could at least try to get out of this.

"Let go." he said, trying to let his voice sound perfectly blank. He didn't want to give more away than he already had.

His arms had gotten numb. He didn't notice any reaction of Vegeta. Had he heard him at all?

"Let me go. I behave. I promise." Goku stated evenly. He gave in. It actually was easy, almost natural.

He waited. The problem was Goku didn't know at all what to expect any more. This was uncharted territory. He had the feeling that he was not in danger, though.

Had the man noticed his lick? He couldn't possibly have. In fact, the more Goku thought about this, the more he persuaded himself that Vegeta had not noticed. Having established that particular point he felt a lot better.

An injured man was not supposed to be that strong. He had seen the man breaking down. He'd seen the injuries. Everything was so out of place and Goku couldn't fathom it. He couldn't come up with any rational explanation for the tail.

Goku's strained neck was aching. Holding his head in this position with his arms restrained on his back was damn exhausting.

"Why did you say that," Vegeta asked quietly. Goku felt the hand around his wrists loosen a little bit and registered that he was supposed to raise his face and look up. He didn't understand the question.

"Why? Because I want you to damn let go of me."

"I mean, why did you say 'I'm not a shame for anyone'," Vegeta repeated patiently. He looked like he really expected an answer.

Was he supposed to just agree on that? Yes, I am? "Because I'm not."

Goku didn't care about the cleverness of his answer.

"You are not acting as a Saiyajin."

"That's because I'm not a .. Saiya..jin .. or whatever," Goku snapped.

Vegeta stared at him radiating icy silence. After a long drawn pause he finally responded coldly, "So, I'm not treating you like one of mine."

"Fine. Now, let go of me," Goku demanded.

Vegeta released him and stood up abruptly. He walked out of the kitchen. There was nothing left to say. So he didn't. He was so tired of talking and arguing. He didn't want to be a Saiyajin, so then it was.

He had thought for just a moment… Why did he feel such a strong sting at that? It felt like cold spit in his face.

Vegeta was very proud to be what he was. As the prince he had learned to respect his own family tree and every single Saiyajin, in terms of responsibility and the duty to provide protection. He had learned that he was only the tip of a pyramid built by the sweat of millions of Saiyajins before him. His father used to tell him things like that on the rare occasions he was sitting at Vegeta's bedside when he still was a child.

******

Goku was still kneeling on the kitchen floor. He brought his arms in front of him and absently stroked his wrists. He had seen Vegeta walking out of the room. He was just walking outside and yet it seemed determined. Nothing in the posture of the slim muscular body did remember of the man from the day before. Or the person Goku had seen in that coat covered body that had broken down in front of him. Goku assumed he was still hurting, but he didn't show it. He was holding himself straight, chin up, shoulders perfectly put back.

Was he indeed the prince he was claiming to be? Goku was well aware that by starting to consider things he had started to play the other's game. But you couldn't just shake off things that were happening in front of you. They were obviously there. Goku could still taste something exotic on his tongue.

The tall man ran his hand through his black hair to smooth it back down and got up. He stood there for a moment. Goku couldn't comprehend Vegeta. The man was strong, even dangerous. He'd seen his eyes and the radiating focused sharp glimmer. This man knew what he did and he was not helpless. How could he have thought only for a moment that this man was helpless? A part of Goku's instincts told him to run; another part told him to stay.

Vegeta hadn't done anything to him. Why? Goku had punched him and he had just immobilized him. He could have done more. It was looking more like he had wanted to soothe Goku. And it even had felt good.

Shit. What was he going to do?

******

He would just follow his initial plan. Vegeta stopped in Goku's large living room. He was fine. His body still hurt like hell, but he could deal with that. It would heal and he was already feeling better.

Vegeta looked down his chest and abdomen. The fresh blood already had clotted, but his torso was still looking raw and angry. Vegeta's experiences with injuries were small. He was good. He was an excellent fighter and able to defend himself perfectly. His crucial skill was to see the opponent's next move even before the other himself knew it. It had made him arrogant. However that had only made him even more successful.

The damage was always looking worse than it was, he had learned that. He had not known that it made him so weak. That it would be so easy to let himself sink into a spiral of pain until he couldn't feel anything any more. He forgot to fight. There was just the feeling of endless falling. He had welcomed the dizziness, because it stopped the thoughts so nicely and effectively. He had given in.

During one of his more conscious periods he must have felt it. The tiniest trace of a very well known feeling. But it was only later that he had realized the meaning behind the feeling. Small characteristic impulses of energy that excite only a faint idea in your brain, nothing to really grasp on. Not everybody was able to process the idea into something recognizable. You needed training. Training that Vegeta had completed.

Vegeta had felt the presence of another Saiyajin. It had shocked him so deeply, pulling him out of every dark hole he had threatened to fall in. God, he had needed to find the Saiyajin no matter what.

When he had found him, at this moment, all he had been able to do was to call for help. He had felt safe then.

There was not much of the initial relief left. Vegeta was angry. Anger was good. The desire to punch things, like this ridiculous sofa that was standing in the middle of the room was even better. But the best thing was the urge to beat himself for his own stupidity.

Yes and this stabbing pain in his upper body was good, too. It made him feel alive.

He would go on with his plan. The fist Vegeta had formed was bruising, nails cutting deeply into the flesh of his palm.

It was the *… or whatever* that hurt the most.

Vegeta's pride had never been a problem. Whenever someone was as little as looking funny at one of his dependant saiyan warriors, Vegeta was right there to defend the saiyan honor. He was explosive. Always had been. It just had not always been for the right altruistic reason.

The respect for his people, for the small servant or the loyal third class warrior had not always been there. He had been lectured so often and then after all Vegeta had done the things just the other way round.

Vegeta wished he had been a better prince.

It was all there now, doubled and powerful, grown from guilt and real understanding.

Vegeta was feeling something. He wanted to protect.

******

Although Goku regarded his reaction as being necessary, Vegeta did assume things that Goku couldn't know about, it did feel wrong at the same time. An unmistakable power was drawing him to Vegeta and urging him to say something, to explain maybe.

He just didn't know what.

Vegeta was not surprised by the carpeting damped footsteps coming to a halt a few feet behind his back. He could feel the burning glance from the lurking man.

"I want to learn," Goku broke the silence. "I want you to tell me things about …about Saiyajins."

"And why would I want to talk to you?" Vegeta said warily and turned.

"You …" Vegeta kept irritating him with his questions as in rendering him dumbstruck. This wouldn't be easy.

"I … I'm asking you …Please."

Goku could see that Vegeta was checking out his face suspiciously. He tried to return the gaze openly and show that he really wanted this. Or he tried as best as he could. He knew he wouldn't win the staring contest. The intensity of Vegeta's eyes was just wow, he had to look down.

"What sort of things do you want to know, " Vegeta asked, especially accentuating the word things.

"Where you come from, why you are here, about me."

"Why?"

Goku needed some time to recognize that Vegeta meant this deadly serious. This was not about to make this hard for Goku. It was a legitimate question. Goku hadn't really shown that he was interested. Instead he had succeeded very well in showing the opposite.

Vegeta deserved an answer. But what should he tell him? He didn't even know the answer himself. Everything seemed to trace back to the simple fact that, even if this all was craziness, Goku was right about to jump in. Maybe he wanted to hear his part in the story.

"I can't be a person, who I don't know anything about."

Vegeta let Goku slip from his gaze and sat down on the edge of the sofa, his forearms resting on his thighs and looking on the floor.

Goku took it as an invitation and settled down, too, but he didn't press.

Eventually Vegeta started to talk, "I'm coming from Vegeta. 3435 point 98 aeons left, 773 point 34 aeons right in the Vega galaxy. One sun planet, two moons, low water, bigger than earth."

Vegeta shortly looked up at Goku and continued in the same even and subdued voice, "We were at war for a very long time. When the war with the Echoic ended the war with the ice empire began. It was hard and ruthless." He paused.

"The blockade of Vegeta was the beginning. Then everything went very fast. We had no chance. The planet was destroyed by one blow, precise and quickly.

I didn't see it. It is said that it looked beautiful. Glaring white light, then red, the brightest red, then colors, yellow and blue merging and diverging."

Vegeta composed himself, "This was one year ago. I'm running since then. Never safe. Never be able to stay long at one place. Then they found me. I was able to escape. I came here to hide and heal.

I don't know why I'm still here in this life. I only know that I need to stay alive to do what I have to do. They have to pay for what they did."

Goku stared at him, whispering, "But that's not possible."

"Believe me, there are a lot of things that you don't know."

Goku didn't want to push, but he needed that. "Can you …can you prove what you are?"

Vegeta looked at him with an odd expression.

"Come here."

To him? Goku rose from his seat and walked across the coffee table. He waited there nearly shyly, not quite sure what to do.

"Sit." Vegeta said pointing to the seat on the sofa beside him.

Goku sat down but kept distance.

Vegeta reached out his right hand invitingly. "Give me your hand."

Goku complied hesitantly. He slipped nearer and extended his right hand.

Vegeta took it at the wrist. With his other hand he smoothed Goku's hand open, so that their palms touched shortly. Then he pulled back and held his hand up in a little distance across from Goku's.

Goku kept still not knowing at all what was going to happen. A moment later it was looking like a small light was appearing in the middle of Vegeta's palm. Goku watched incredulously as the light grew and grew until it built a small luminescent ball. The ball was gleaming lightly blue, like the blue in the middle of a flame. It looked so utterly beautiful.

"You feel the heat?" Vegeta asked, facing Goku.

"Yeah." He felt the heat radiating from the ball on his palm. It was hot, but not uncomfortable hot.

Then very slowly the ball went smaller and disappeared. Goku couldn't turn his gaze away from the spot the light had been, but Vegeta lowered his hand and released his.

Nooo, Goku thought. Don't. He felt like he had been allowed to see something very special and now it was taken away from him. "Please."

Vegeta just looked at him again with this odd expression.

"I want … can I … can I please touch you," Goku gestured to Vegeta's hand, the one with which he had formed the ball, "There?"

To Goku's surprise, Vegeta nodded. Goku carefully opened the other's hand like Vegeta had done with his just moments ago. He softly ran his fingertips in small circles over Vegeta's palm. Smooth skin.

Looking up at Vegeta's face Goku noticed a slight tug at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm just like you, you know," Vegeta said.

"Ah..," Goku muttered stupidly, blushing slightly.

This was the most incredible experience Goku had ever had. "I … How … How do you do it," he asked.

"I do concentrate."

Goku nodded absently and continued his light exploration of Vegeta's hand. It was slightly smaller than his, slim but a very masculine hand.

Reluctantly he pulled back. Oh God. He leaned back resting his head on the back of the sofa. He felt awkward. At his side Vegeta was still sitting bent forward exposing his back.

What must these shoulders have experienced, Goku thought.