The Adventures of the Pied Pietts
Chapter 8
Piett and Lilem stepped through the door. Time and space tugged at the corners of reality. Flashes of light flew by, almost seeming to make a pattern, a la 2001: a Space Oddysey. Everything ceased to exist, and then--
They found themselves standing in a clearing surrounded by thick trees and vines. The clearing appeared to be some kind of open corridor, and extended to the left and right. Piett looked around and asked, "Where are we?"
"I don't know," replied Lilem, glancing about herself.
"What, don't you have control over the story?"
"No, I thought you did."
"Well then, didn't Mara?"
Lilem considered. "I don't think so."
Piett placed his hand against the thick vines. They didn't give. "We can only go in two directions," he observed, "unless you have a sword or lightsaber."
"I'm not sure even a sword could cut through these," Lilem said, testing the vines herself. She frowned, then looked to the right and left, trying to decide which direction to proceed in. "Left."
"Oh ho," laughed Piett condescendingly. "Who died and left you in charge?"
"If you're not careful, you!" retorted Lilem, stomping off to the left. Piett snorted and began to walk to the right, soon realizing that Lilem wasn't following.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after her. "You're supposed to be turning and following me in defeat!"
"Yeah, right!" she retorted, not even bothering to turn. Piett ran to catch up to her. Up ahead, they heard some noises. as they continued to walk, the noises grew closer, until it seemed they were coming from just behind the next bend.
As they rounded the bend, a man dressed in green came into view. He was fighting a large plant with teeth. Piett's eyes widened.
The man sensed their approach and turned to face the newcomers, taking his attention from the plant. He seemed about to speak, but the plant suddenly lunged at him and hit him heavily in the shoulder. "Yiagh!" the man cried, flying from the impact. Lilem and Piett gasped in surprise a the man landed with a thud against the hard leafy wall. His sword was pulled from his grasp.
Quickly appraising the situation, Lilem ran and swept up the sword as she passed, charging at the plant. The plant was still recoiling from its last attack, and Lilem chose the weak stem as her point of attack. With a giant leap, she brought the sword down on the plant, slicing the stem in half. The plant instantly dissolved, leaving behind a hard stick.
Piett helped the man sit up.
"Nice work," he groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "Where'd you learn to handle a sword like that?"
"Oh, it just comes naturally," Lilem smiled, swinging the sword. Piett rolled his eyes. The stranger stood up carefully, trying not to stir his shoulder.
"I'm Link."
"I'm Lilem Piett, and this is Admiral Piett, or simply Piett. Pleased t' meetcha!" grinned Lilem, handing Link back his sword. He smiled appreciatively and sheathed the weapon.
"You guys don't look like you're from around here," noted Link, dusting himself off with his good arm.
"How can you tell?" asked Piett looking at Link's long ears. "Does everyone have ears such as yours?"
Link paused to consider. "Actually, everyone has something. Elves have ears, but the Gerudo have really long noses and ears like yours. You guys don't really have any distinguishing features, except for lack of them."
"Really?" piped Lilem, eyes darting skyward. "Not even my appealing bus--"
Piett clamped a hand down on Lilem's mouth. "Yep. That's us. Undistinguishable. Now, can you please tell us where the door out of here is?"
"'Out?'" Link scratched his head. "What 'out?'"
"Er, we're trying to get home, y'see . . ." Piett drifted off.
Link shrugged. "It's not really such a big place here. Are you from around the castle or Lon Lon Ranch? The Gerudo fortress? Kokiri Forest? Well, you're definitely not from there, or else I'd probably know you." He started to mumble to himself.
"Actually, I'm from the United States of America and Piett's from the Galactic Empire," said Lilem, interrupting Link's mumbling and drawing a blank look from Link.
"Ah, is that anywhere near Koholint Island?"
"Piett, we have a problem."
A few hours later, after they had discussed it at what Link referred to as his "former home" over milk from a cow that was inhabiting the place, Piett and Lilem had finally decided to sleep on their problem. Hopefully, it would solve itself in the morning, though Link warned that all the various monsters outside the door would have regenerated by then. Of course, a new problem was encountered. Link's house only had one bed in it. Link, as host, slept on the floor, but Piett and Lilem were not nearly as mature.
"I'm the adult! I could get serious back problems from sleeping on the floor."
"Pah. I'm the lady, so I should get the bed."
"Some lady!"
"Some gentleman!"
"Hey, could you guys quiet down a bit? I really need some sleep, and I'm not used to having to deal with other people's talking," called Link from his uncomfortable position on the floor where he was guarding his injured shoulder.
"Sorry, Link," they both replied remorsefully.
"Here, you take the bed, Piett. I'll sleep on the floor with Link," offered Lilem.
"You most certainly will not!" replied Piett, pushing Lilem in the bed. She rolled out and onto the floor next to Link.
"I won't do anything stupid, Piett. Goodnight!" There was no further argument.
THE END
Next time: Did Lilem end up doing anything stupid? Who's writing this, anyways!?
Chapter 8
Piett and Lilem stepped through the door. Time and space tugged at the corners of reality. Flashes of light flew by, almost seeming to make a pattern, a la 2001: a Space Oddysey. Everything ceased to exist, and then--
They found themselves standing in a clearing surrounded by thick trees and vines. The clearing appeared to be some kind of open corridor, and extended to the left and right. Piett looked around and asked, "Where are we?"
"I don't know," replied Lilem, glancing about herself.
"What, don't you have control over the story?"
"No, I thought you did."
"Well then, didn't Mara?"
Lilem considered. "I don't think so."
Piett placed his hand against the thick vines. They didn't give. "We can only go in two directions," he observed, "unless you have a sword or lightsaber."
"I'm not sure even a sword could cut through these," Lilem said, testing the vines herself. She frowned, then looked to the right and left, trying to decide which direction to proceed in. "Left."
"Oh ho," laughed Piett condescendingly. "Who died and left you in charge?"
"If you're not careful, you!" retorted Lilem, stomping off to the left. Piett snorted and began to walk to the right, soon realizing that Lilem wasn't following.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after her. "You're supposed to be turning and following me in defeat!"
"Yeah, right!" she retorted, not even bothering to turn. Piett ran to catch up to her. Up ahead, they heard some noises. as they continued to walk, the noises grew closer, until it seemed they were coming from just behind the next bend.
As they rounded the bend, a man dressed in green came into view. He was fighting a large plant with teeth. Piett's eyes widened.
The man sensed their approach and turned to face the newcomers, taking his attention from the plant. He seemed about to speak, but the plant suddenly lunged at him and hit him heavily in the shoulder. "Yiagh!" the man cried, flying from the impact. Lilem and Piett gasped in surprise a the man landed with a thud against the hard leafy wall. His sword was pulled from his grasp.
Quickly appraising the situation, Lilem ran and swept up the sword as she passed, charging at the plant. The plant was still recoiling from its last attack, and Lilem chose the weak stem as her point of attack. With a giant leap, she brought the sword down on the plant, slicing the stem in half. The plant instantly dissolved, leaving behind a hard stick.
Piett helped the man sit up.
"Nice work," he groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "Where'd you learn to handle a sword like that?"
"Oh, it just comes naturally," Lilem smiled, swinging the sword. Piett rolled his eyes. The stranger stood up carefully, trying not to stir his shoulder.
"I'm Link."
"I'm Lilem Piett, and this is Admiral Piett, or simply Piett. Pleased t' meetcha!" grinned Lilem, handing Link back his sword. He smiled appreciatively and sheathed the weapon.
"You guys don't look like you're from around here," noted Link, dusting himself off with his good arm.
"How can you tell?" asked Piett looking at Link's long ears. "Does everyone have ears such as yours?"
Link paused to consider. "Actually, everyone has something. Elves have ears, but the Gerudo have really long noses and ears like yours. You guys don't really have any distinguishing features, except for lack of them."
"Really?" piped Lilem, eyes darting skyward. "Not even my appealing bus--"
Piett clamped a hand down on Lilem's mouth. "Yep. That's us. Undistinguishable. Now, can you please tell us where the door out of here is?"
"'Out?'" Link scratched his head. "What 'out?'"
"Er, we're trying to get home, y'see . . ." Piett drifted off.
Link shrugged. "It's not really such a big place here. Are you from around the castle or Lon Lon Ranch? The Gerudo fortress? Kokiri Forest? Well, you're definitely not from there, or else I'd probably know you." He started to mumble to himself.
"Actually, I'm from the United States of America and Piett's from the Galactic Empire," said Lilem, interrupting Link's mumbling and drawing a blank look from Link.
"Ah, is that anywhere near Koholint Island?"
"Piett, we have a problem."
A few hours later, after they had discussed it at what Link referred to as his "former home" over milk from a cow that was inhabiting the place, Piett and Lilem had finally decided to sleep on their problem. Hopefully, it would solve itself in the morning, though Link warned that all the various monsters outside the door would have regenerated by then. Of course, a new problem was encountered. Link's house only had one bed in it. Link, as host, slept on the floor, but Piett and Lilem were not nearly as mature.
"I'm the adult! I could get serious back problems from sleeping on the floor."
"Pah. I'm the lady, so I should get the bed."
"Some lady!"
"Some gentleman!"
"Hey, could you guys quiet down a bit? I really need some sleep, and I'm not used to having to deal with other people's talking," called Link from his uncomfortable position on the floor where he was guarding his injured shoulder.
"Sorry, Link," they both replied remorsefully.
"Here, you take the bed, Piett. I'll sleep on the floor with Link," offered Lilem.
"You most certainly will not!" replied Piett, pushing Lilem in the bed. She rolled out and onto the floor next to Link.
"I won't do anything stupid, Piett. Goodnight!" There was no further argument.
THE END
Next time: Did Lilem end up doing anything stupid? Who's writing this, anyways!?