Chapter 36
"You are so cute!"
"I know I just want to squeeze him."
"No chance you two are talking about me right?"
"Dream on Cohen." Jen replied.
"Sorry Marky." Maureen laughed. "Well you know about that guys and puppies thing. Take him to the park, you'll have girls all over you."
"Yeah Mark. See worked already. One puppy, two girls, back at your place."
"Great. It got me one super sarcastic Midwestern occasional man-hater and my ex-girlfriend, who by the way my father is convinced I turned into a lesbian. Yeah, working like a charm!"
"So where do you think the love birds went for dinner?" Jen smirked.
"I don't know. I still can't believe he actually took her out on a real date. That's just so not the former anti social Roger." Mark laughed.
"I can't believe she looked so much better in that outfit than I do." Maureen pouted.
"Get over it," Jen told her bluntly. "Because she did. And believe me, Roger noticed too. It was so cute Mark! The great Roger Davis, flustered! He was desperate to get out of there with her!"
Mark would have loved to have seen that. Just imagining that was enough to make him laugh. Super smooth, super cool, super bad ass Roger, who could always have gotten any girl he wanted. Always knew exactly what to do and what to say, totally shaken by Cass. That was almost too much.
His thoughts were broken when there was a knock at the door. Maureen, who was in the kitchen, went to get it. "Hey Joellen what's up? Come on in. You want something to drink?"
"No thanks Maureen. Hey Jen. Hey Mark. I hate to bother you guys, but there's no chance Andrew and my sister were or are coming here? Maybe to pick up his drums?"
"No." Mark told her. "Come on in and sit down. I haven't talked to Andrew since Monday night, and I haven't seen Jolene since the party. Why? Is something wrong?"
"Only that some idiot at the café dropped my keys in the trash and I can't get into my apartment now. You guys are the closest to the café, I figured I would give it a shot here first. Maybe he'd be coming by for his drums, you know?"
"Did you call Life Support? Is he working?"
"He was, they think he'll come back by but of course no one knows. And I have no clue where to even begin looking for my sister."
"Well try calling there again." Mark grabbed the phone and as he dragged it over the dog attacked the phone cord, tripping Mark. "Georgio no! Crap. Uh sorry. Here." He handed her the phone and picked up the dog.
"Mark he's so cute! Where was he Saturday?"
"Oh he's not ours, we're just dog sitting."
"Marky we gotta go." Jen called to him.
"We do?" Maureen asked confused.
"Yes we do. Remember? You're going to help me do that stuff? Before it gets too late." She pulled Maureen's arm.
"Uh- oh yeah, sorry. Brain spasm. Okay bye Mark. Good luck Joellen. Bye Georgio, you little cutie!"
"Yeah we'll see you later. Bye Georgio." Jen petted him as Mark set him down on the ground. As soon as he did, the dog hopped onto the couch and jumped in Joellen's lap.
"Sorry. He's still a puppy. Plus he just got here a few hours ago. I think he's a little excited." Mark picked him up again and walked to the door. He was about to ask Jen what she was talking about but she cut him off before he could speak.
"Okay so bye guys!" She almost yelled. Then in a whisper to Mark, "See told you, guys and puppies!" She winked at him as she pulled Maureen out the door behind her.
Mark closed the door and set the dog down again. Georgio immediately ran over and jumped into Joellen's lap again. "Sorry. Again." Mark told her as he rushed over.
"No it's okay. He's really cute."
"I think he likes you." Mark smiled at her. She is real cute. "So, um any luck?"
"No he's not back yet. But I should go. I guess I can hang out there till he comes back by."
"Well, you can wait here if you want. Watch a movie or something. We've got power tonight." Mark laughed and so did she.
"So I see. Think it will make it through the night?"
"Uh yeah. And tomorrow we've got an electrician coming so hopefully then, no more blackouts." Mark laughed again. "So yeah, I got deserted tonight anyway. Leave Andrew a message and just wait here. It's better than hanging out at Life Support all night."
"That is definitely true. Okay. If you're sure you don't mind."
"Nope, not at all. Besides, I don't think he'd let you leave anyway." He told her pointing at the dog that had curled up in her lap and gone to sleep.
*****
Roger ordered two more drinks and then moved back over to where Cass was dancing. He loved watching her move. As she turned around, he came up behind and put his hands around her waist. She looked up and grinned at him as she reached over her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Roger leaned in and started to kiss her ear and neck while she danced right up next to him.
"I got you another drink." He almost yelled into her ear so she could hear him over the music. He motioned back towards the bar and she started to move that way.
He handed Cass her drink and picked up his own. "Are you tired yet?"
"Nope. I'm wide-awake. It must have been my power nap before."
The guy next to them got up and Roger pulled his barstool over and sat down. He pulled Cass over between his knees. "Are you okay?" He had his hands on her bare back under the jacket.
"If you mean am I drunk, then no. Let's go with just a little loose. If you mean am I having a good time then oh definitely!" She put her right arm around his neck and leaned in and kissed him. Hard and with passion and need. "If you mean all that other stuff," she told him in a low, raspy voice, "then yeah, I think I'm okay. Really okay. Like maybe next step ready."
"Really?" He asked her wide-eyed. "So you wanna get out of here?"
Cass set her drink down on the bar. She leaned into and held him tight for a moment, taking in the feeling he gave her when he held her. "Yes, I think I do."
He jumped up and tossed some money on the bar. "Baby you don't have to tell me twice." Roger almost knocked people over as he made their way through the crowd and out the front door.
He knew he must have a huge stupid grin on his face. One that gets bigger every time he looked back at her. Roger slid the metro card throght the reader and let Cass go only long enough for her to walk through the subway turnstile. He slid it again for himself and grabbed her again as soon as he was through. Roger didn't want to let her go. He was afraid to. Afraid this was all a dream or something and if he didn't have his hands on her, he might wake up and it would all be gone.
They got onto the waiting subway train. He led them to the far corner of the car and sat down, pulling Cass onto his lap. It was so late, the car was almost empty, only a few other people, most likely coming home from somewhere like them.
"Did you have fun?" He asked as he started kissing her just below her neck.
"I had a great time." She was playing with his hair and kissing the top of his head. "Thank you."
"For taking you out? My pleasure." He told her, between kisses. "Believe me."
She stopped playing with his hair and pulled back from him. "Well yes, for taking me out, but for everything else too."
Roger just nodded. He didn't know what to say to her.
"I mean it Roger." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "Two weeks ago I never could have imagined having a night like tonight ever again. Ever." She leaned back against him and wrapped her arms around his neck again.
Roger hugged her tight and kept running his hand over her bare back. "Good. I'm glad. I.. I want you to be okay Cass. With everything. Him. Them. Italy. But especially us. I just want you to be okay." He stroked her hair for the next few seconds as their train pulled into a stop.
They got up and climbed the stairs to the street. He pulled out his cigarettes and lit two, handing one to her. They walked most of the six blocks home in silence.
When they reached the steps to their building she paused. "Can we just sit here for a few minutes? Have another cigarette?"
"Sure." Roger sat on the step with Cass on the step below him, between his knees. He handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. He could feel her tensing up as he rubbed her arms so she didn't get cold. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you're not ready to do. It's okay, really if you're not ready."
Roger was ready. He knew that now. Especially after reading the letter from Mimi. He had moved on. He was happy. Cass actually made him happy. That was all Mimi had wanted. For Roger to know that she loved him and wanted him to be able to move on and be happy. To go on with his life, never go back to the horrible place he had been before. Cass was the answer to Mimi's prayer. Roger made Cass happy. Cass was what Mimi wanted for him. That would have made Mimi happy. All that made Roger happy. No matter what happened tonight.
"I just want you to be sure you're ready." He told her softly. He wanted her. Badly. But not like that, not if she wasn't ready. The last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her. But maybe she wasn't ready yet, it had only been two weeks. Two weeks ago tonight for that matter. Someday she'll be ready. He could wait. She was worth it. He knew that. He had pushed past his own fears and was ready.
No one knew, not even Mark, but Roger went and saw Elizabeth Wednesday before practice. He talked to her about Cass, and him, and him and Cass together. That had made Roger realize how badly he wanted Cass. He was willing to wait for her if wanting her like that made things worse for her. He was willing to go to Life Support and confront the realities of his own life. He was willing to do whatever it took to have Cass happy. And safe. Safe from them and him. If that meant going to Life Support, he would. For her.
"No." She said softly as she leaned into him. "I need to. I mean I want to. I really do. But I need to too. Waiting won't make it easier. It will never get easier than it will tonight, with you."
Roger wrapped his arms around her and stood them both up. "Come on, let's go home." He whispered into her hair. Silently they climbed the three flights of stairs. The loft was dark when they came in. Mark had already gone to bed. Between the moon and the streetlights there was enough light to see as they walked in.
Cass went into the bathroom as Roger walked into what had become their room. All the clothes Mark had taken out of Mimi's closet were on the bed. Trying to be somewhat neat, Roger took them and put them on top of the dresser. He took off his shirt and threw it in the laundry pile in the corner. He tossed his leather pants on top of the dresser and sat on the bed to wait for Cass.
When She came out of the bathroom she had washed off the little makeup she had on and undone her hair. Roger was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall in his boxers. Even though the lamp was off, there was still enough light coming into the room to see. Cass kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed next to him.
Roger put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head as he pulled her into him. He held out the cigarette he had just lit and she took it. They sat there sharing the cigarette in silence. Roger kept stroking her hair as they sat there.
When they finished the cigarette Roger crushed it out in the ashtray. He shifted over and set the ashtray on the floor. He laid down and pulled Cass down next to him. Wrapped in his arms she felt safe.
"Are you sure?" He whispered while softly kissing her neck.
"Yes." She kissed him back. "I'm sure."
"Okay. whatever. you want. Cass." He said between kisses. "Whatever. you. want. is. okay."
She could hear her heart beating in her ears. She could feel the electricity as it ran from his fingertips when he touched her. As his hands came down her back and over her bare mid drift she felt her stomach quiver. She pulled him close, trying to almost melt into him. "Don't ever let me go." She whispered in his ear as she kissed it.
"Never!" He told her as his hand went under her top as he nipped at her neck. His other hand went to her back and untied her halter-top. As her top fell away her rolled her on her back. "God you are so beautiful." He told her as his lips moved over her chest.
She let out a low moan as he kissed down her stomach. He moved his hands over her hips to the edge of her pants. As Roger hooked one finger of each hand into the waistband of her pants he kissed her stomach again. "Cass?" He asked her in a throaty voice as he looked up. She nodded at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. Roger gently slid the black pants off her and tossed them to the floor. Cass sat up some to keep her hands on him. They went to his boxers and slid under the waist. She started to push them off of him. Roger helped her as he laid her back down. He reached over her and into the bottom drawer of the dresser next to the bed. He never stopped bathing her in kisses as he yanked open the drawer and pulled out the condoms. He ran his lips up to her ear and whispered into it. "You know I love you Cass."
"I know." She whispered as she pulled him towards her.
"You are so cute!"
"I know I just want to squeeze him."
"No chance you two are talking about me right?"
"Dream on Cohen." Jen replied.
"Sorry Marky." Maureen laughed. "Well you know about that guys and puppies thing. Take him to the park, you'll have girls all over you."
"Yeah Mark. See worked already. One puppy, two girls, back at your place."
"Great. It got me one super sarcastic Midwestern occasional man-hater and my ex-girlfriend, who by the way my father is convinced I turned into a lesbian. Yeah, working like a charm!"
"So where do you think the love birds went for dinner?" Jen smirked.
"I don't know. I still can't believe he actually took her out on a real date. That's just so not the former anti social Roger." Mark laughed.
"I can't believe she looked so much better in that outfit than I do." Maureen pouted.
"Get over it," Jen told her bluntly. "Because she did. And believe me, Roger noticed too. It was so cute Mark! The great Roger Davis, flustered! He was desperate to get out of there with her!"
Mark would have loved to have seen that. Just imagining that was enough to make him laugh. Super smooth, super cool, super bad ass Roger, who could always have gotten any girl he wanted. Always knew exactly what to do and what to say, totally shaken by Cass. That was almost too much.
His thoughts were broken when there was a knock at the door. Maureen, who was in the kitchen, went to get it. "Hey Joellen what's up? Come on in. You want something to drink?"
"No thanks Maureen. Hey Jen. Hey Mark. I hate to bother you guys, but there's no chance Andrew and my sister were or are coming here? Maybe to pick up his drums?"
"No." Mark told her. "Come on in and sit down. I haven't talked to Andrew since Monday night, and I haven't seen Jolene since the party. Why? Is something wrong?"
"Only that some idiot at the café dropped my keys in the trash and I can't get into my apartment now. You guys are the closest to the café, I figured I would give it a shot here first. Maybe he'd be coming by for his drums, you know?"
"Did you call Life Support? Is he working?"
"He was, they think he'll come back by but of course no one knows. And I have no clue where to even begin looking for my sister."
"Well try calling there again." Mark grabbed the phone and as he dragged it over the dog attacked the phone cord, tripping Mark. "Georgio no! Crap. Uh sorry. Here." He handed her the phone and picked up the dog.
"Mark he's so cute! Where was he Saturday?"
"Oh he's not ours, we're just dog sitting."
"Marky we gotta go." Jen called to him.
"We do?" Maureen asked confused.
"Yes we do. Remember? You're going to help me do that stuff? Before it gets too late." She pulled Maureen's arm.
"Uh- oh yeah, sorry. Brain spasm. Okay bye Mark. Good luck Joellen. Bye Georgio, you little cutie!"
"Yeah we'll see you later. Bye Georgio." Jen petted him as Mark set him down on the ground. As soon as he did, the dog hopped onto the couch and jumped in Joellen's lap.
"Sorry. He's still a puppy. Plus he just got here a few hours ago. I think he's a little excited." Mark picked him up again and walked to the door. He was about to ask Jen what she was talking about but she cut him off before he could speak.
"Okay so bye guys!" She almost yelled. Then in a whisper to Mark, "See told you, guys and puppies!" She winked at him as she pulled Maureen out the door behind her.
Mark closed the door and set the dog down again. Georgio immediately ran over and jumped into Joellen's lap again. "Sorry. Again." Mark told her as he rushed over.
"No it's okay. He's really cute."
"I think he likes you." Mark smiled at her. She is real cute. "So, um any luck?"
"No he's not back yet. But I should go. I guess I can hang out there till he comes back by."
"Well, you can wait here if you want. Watch a movie or something. We've got power tonight." Mark laughed and so did she.
"So I see. Think it will make it through the night?"
"Uh yeah. And tomorrow we've got an electrician coming so hopefully then, no more blackouts." Mark laughed again. "So yeah, I got deserted tonight anyway. Leave Andrew a message and just wait here. It's better than hanging out at Life Support all night."
"That is definitely true. Okay. If you're sure you don't mind."
"Nope, not at all. Besides, I don't think he'd let you leave anyway." He told her pointing at the dog that had curled up in her lap and gone to sleep.
*****
Roger ordered two more drinks and then moved back over to where Cass was dancing. He loved watching her move. As she turned around, he came up behind and put his hands around her waist. She looked up and grinned at him as she reached over her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Roger leaned in and started to kiss her ear and neck while she danced right up next to him.
"I got you another drink." He almost yelled into her ear so she could hear him over the music. He motioned back towards the bar and she started to move that way.
He handed Cass her drink and picked up his own. "Are you tired yet?"
"Nope. I'm wide-awake. It must have been my power nap before."
The guy next to them got up and Roger pulled his barstool over and sat down. He pulled Cass over between his knees. "Are you okay?" He had his hands on her bare back under the jacket.
"If you mean am I drunk, then no. Let's go with just a little loose. If you mean am I having a good time then oh definitely!" She put her right arm around his neck and leaned in and kissed him. Hard and with passion and need. "If you mean all that other stuff," she told him in a low, raspy voice, "then yeah, I think I'm okay. Really okay. Like maybe next step ready."
"Really?" He asked her wide-eyed. "So you wanna get out of here?"
Cass set her drink down on the bar. She leaned into and held him tight for a moment, taking in the feeling he gave her when he held her. "Yes, I think I do."
He jumped up and tossed some money on the bar. "Baby you don't have to tell me twice." Roger almost knocked people over as he made their way through the crowd and out the front door.
He knew he must have a huge stupid grin on his face. One that gets bigger every time he looked back at her. Roger slid the metro card throght the reader and let Cass go only long enough for her to walk through the subway turnstile. He slid it again for himself and grabbed her again as soon as he was through. Roger didn't want to let her go. He was afraid to. Afraid this was all a dream or something and if he didn't have his hands on her, he might wake up and it would all be gone.
They got onto the waiting subway train. He led them to the far corner of the car and sat down, pulling Cass onto his lap. It was so late, the car was almost empty, only a few other people, most likely coming home from somewhere like them.
"Did you have fun?" He asked as he started kissing her just below her neck.
"I had a great time." She was playing with his hair and kissing the top of his head. "Thank you."
"For taking you out? My pleasure." He told her, between kisses. "Believe me."
She stopped playing with his hair and pulled back from him. "Well yes, for taking me out, but for everything else too."
Roger just nodded. He didn't know what to say to her.
"I mean it Roger." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "Two weeks ago I never could have imagined having a night like tonight ever again. Ever." She leaned back against him and wrapped her arms around his neck again.
Roger hugged her tight and kept running his hand over her bare back. "Good. I'm glad. I.. I want you to be okay Cass. With everything. Him. Them. Italy. But especially us. I just want you to be okay." He stroked her hair for the next few seconds as their train pulled into a stop.
They got up and climbed the stairs to the street. He pulled out his cigarettes and lit two, handing one to her. They walked most of the six blocks home in silence.
When they reached the steps to their building she paused. "Can we just sit here for a few minutes? Have another cigarette?"
"Sure." Roger sat on the step with Cass on the step below him, between his knees. He handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. He could feel her tensing up as he rubbed her arms so she didn't get cold. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you're not ready to do. It's okay, really if you're not ready."
Roger was ready. He knew that now. Especially after reading the letter from Mimi. He had moved on. He was happy. Cass actually made him happy. That was all Mimi had wanted. For Roger to know that she loved him and wanted him to be able to move on and be happy. To go on with his life, never go back to the horrible place he had been before. Cass was the answer to Mimi's prayer. Roger made Cass happy. Cass was what Mimi wanted for him. That would have made Mimi happy. All that made Roger happy. No matter what happened tonight.
"I just want you to be sure you're ready." He told her softly. He wanted her. Badly. But not like that, not if she wasn't ready. The last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her. But maybe she wasn't ready yet, it had only been two weeks. Two weeks ago tonight for that matter. Someday she'll be ready. He could wait. She was worth it. He knew that. He had pushed past his own fears and was ready.
No one knew, not even Mark, but Roger went and saw Elizabeth Wednesday before practice. He talked to her about Cass, and him, and him and Cass together. That had made Roger realize how badly he wanted Cass. He was willing to wait for her if wanting her like that made things worse for her. He was willing to go to Life Support and confront the realities of his own life. He was willing to do whatever it took to have Cass happy. And safe. Safe from them and him. If that meant going to Life Support, he would. For her.
"No." She said softly as she leaned into him. "I need to. I mean I want to. I really do. But I need to too. Waiting won't make it easier. It will never get easier than it will tonight, with you."
Roger wrapped his arms around her and stood them both up. "Come on, let's go home." He whispered into her hair. Silently they climbed the three flights of stairs. The loft was dark when they came in. Mark had already gone to bed. Between the moon and the streetlights there was enough light to see as they walked in.
Cass went into the bathroom as Roger walked into what had become their room. All the clothes Mark had taken out of Mimi's closet were on the bed. Trying to be somewhat neat, Roger took them and put them on top of the dresser. He took off his shirt and threw it in the laundry pile in the corner. He tossed his leather pants on top of the dresser and sat on the bed to wait for Cass.
When She came out of the bathroom she had washed off the little makeup she had on and undone her hair. Roger was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall in his boxers. Even though the lamp was off, there was still enough light coming into the room to see. Cass kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed next to him.
Roger put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head as he pulled her into him. He held out the cigarette he had just lit and she took it. They sat there sharing the cigarette in silence. Roger kept stroking her hair as they sat there.
When they finished the cigarette Roger crushed it out in the ashtray. He shifted over and set the ashtray on the floor. He laid down and pulled Cass down next to him. Wrapped in his arms she felt safe.
"Are you sure?" He whispered while softly kissing her neck.
"Yes." She kissed him back. "I'm sure."
"Okay. whatever. you want. Cass." He said between kisses. "Whatever. you. want. is. okay."
She could hear her heart beating in her ears. She could feel the electricity as it ran from his fingertips when he touched her. As his hands came down her back and over her bare mid drift she felt her stomach quiver. She pulled him close, trying to almost melt into him. "Don't ever let me go." She whispered in his ear as she kissed it.
"Never!" He told her as his hand went under her top as he nipped at her neck. His other hand went to her back and untied her halter-top. As her top fell away her rolled her on her back. "God you are so beautiful." He told her as his lips moved over her chest.
She let out a low moan as he kissed down her stomach. He moved his hands over her hips to the edge of her pants. As Roger hooked one finger of each hand into the waistband of her pants he kissed her stomach again. "Cass?" He asked her in a throaty voice as he looked up. She nodded at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. Roger gently slid the black pants off her and tossed them to the floor. Cass sat up some to keep her hands on him. They went to his boxers and slid under the waist. She started to push them off of him. Roger helped her as he laid her back down. He reached over her and into the bottom drawer of the dresser next to the bed. He never stopped bathing her in kisses as he yanked open the drawer and pulled out the condoms. He ran his lips up to her ear and whispered into it. "You know I love you Cass."
"I know." She whispered as she pulled him towards her.