Chapter 38
Roger shook out the blanket on the grass and sat down. As soon as he did Georgio ran into his lap. "This is weird." He told Cass as she laid back on the blanket putting her head in his lap as the dog jumped off.
"What's weird?" She asked, petting the dog.
"This. Us. Hanging out in Thompkin Square Park. With Benny's dog of all things!" He shook his head laughing.
Cass laughed at him. "Well it was either this or sit home in the dark. Besides it's beautiful out, and I feel like I haven't been outside in the daylight forever. And it's not like either of us can work without electricity anyway."
"I suppose. Just don't let go of his leash. God for bid we lose that dog. No one would ever believe it was an accident." He laughed.
"Well I'd tell them all it was an accident." She looked up at him.
"Oh yeah that'll help I'm sure! I can see it now. Everybody going on how Mark left Benny's dog alone with me and the only person that can give me an alibi is my girlfriend." He grinned.
" I guess that wouldn't work huh?"
"No I guess not." He reached over and pushed the leash down on her wrist. "That's why we'll make you totally responsible for the dog." He grinned at her.
"Great! Just what I need." She told him sarcastically. "Write your lyrics Davis."
"Fine." He bent down and kissed her on the nose. Roger opened Cass' bag and pulled out her wine-splattered book and his spiral notebook. They sat there like that for the next hour, Cass reading and Roger writing and re- writing lyrics.
"Aggggh! This is impossible. I can't do this right now. This is a lot harder without my guitar." He tossed down the spiral notebook and after she lifted her head up he laid down on the blanket next to her. Cass had rolled onto her left side and propped her head up on her hand. "What are you reading?' He asked as he ran his finger along her arm and over her shoulder.
"My book." She smiled as he started to kiss her shoulder.
"Hey it's after one. And today's Friday right?" Roger sat up as he spoke. Cass nodded as she put her book down and sat up cross-legged. Georgio came over and sat in her lap.
"If I ran to pick something up, would you be okay here alone? For like twenty, maybe twenty five minutes?"
A look of panic started to cross her face. Roger could tell she was trying to force it back down. She had to stay by herself sometime. She said so last night, waiting won't make anything easier. He didn't want to push her, but why not try. See what happens. All else fails, he either wont' go, or he'll take her with him.
"Where, where are you going to go?" She asked him, wide eyed.
"Only like two blocks away. I need to pick something up and they said it would be ready today after one." He took her hand and held it.
"What do you need to get?"
"It's a surprise." He smiled at her. "If you don't want me to go I won't. But you're going to have to go outside by yourself one of these days Cass." He started stroking her hair. "And today's as good as any."
"You'll only be gone twenty minutes?"
"Twenty five max. I promise. And you can call me if you need me."
"O-okay. I guess." She had a feeling she didn't sound very convincing. She just wasn't sure she wanted all that today.
He could tell she wasn't excited by this idea and he felt bad now that he had brought it all up, but she had agreed to it. Sort of. "I'll be right back. And it's the middle of the day Cass. Nobody should bother you in the middle of the day."
"I know. I mean I really do. My brain knows all this stuff. It's just." She trailed off.
"I know Baby." He kept stroking her hair. "I know. It's freaky. Kinda like the first time I went out on my own after getting clean. And I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do yet. But you are gonna have to do it someday. Mark and I can't be with you 24-7 forever."
"I know. I really do. And I don't want you guys babysitting my forever." She sighed. "I hate this! I hate feeling like this!"
"I know Baby." He pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "But it's not gonna go away on it's own. You're gonna have to push past it. When you're ready, you'll get there. And I'll be with you the whole time." She nodded as he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Besides, last night was kinda the same thing, that turned out pretty good." He smiled at her.
"That's true. I guess it did." She could feel herself blushing. "You're right." She told him more confidently this time. "It's okay. Go. Just come back quickly."
"Quick as I can. You call me if you need me. It will only be like twenty- five minutes I promise." He kissed her. "And Life Café is just across the street. Joellen should be there soon. Even if she's not, you know enough of the people that work there. If it gets bad just go there and call me. Okay?"
She nodded as the dog climbed in her lap.
"And you got that vicious guard dog with you too." He grinned at her.
"I know. It's stupid. I'll be fine." She told him, petting the dog.
"Okay. I'll be right back." Roger kissed her on her forehead then reached down and flipped the dog over and wrestled with him, almost covering his body with his hand. "And you," he told the dog, "guard Cass. Anybody comes near her, you bite 'em in the ankle. Got it Killer?" Georgio growled back playfully as Roger shook him.
He stood up, and started walking backward. "I'll be right back Babe. Promise." He turned around and almost ran out of the park.
Roger felt like he forced her into this. He knew she'd be fine. And he had to do it. He would have to leave her alone sometime. It had to be better now than waiting forever and suddenly having to up and leave her alone with no warning. If something came up, now at least she would have stayed by herself. As far as he could remember, she had only been alone for about a half-hour the day Jason came to stay with her.
Roger reached the shop he needed. Good, no line he thought. Cass hadn't called him yet either. Of course he'd only been gone about eight minutes. Okay Davis, stop arguing with yourself about this. You did the right thing. She wants to get past all this crap. She said so. She wants her life back to normal. You're just helping her along.
This is no different than your sorry ass not wanting to leave the loft. Except Cass probably would eventually go out on her own. Left to your own devices Davis, you would have sat up there till you rotted away.
Mark used to do the same thing as this. He was always trying to get you out. So this must be okay. It's basically the same thing. Except you were so damn stubborn, it never worked for Mark. Good thing you're more stubborn than Cass, or at least a bigger pain in the ass than Mark. The thought of that made Roger smile somewhat.
Roger checked his watch. Just over twenty minutes. He reached the corner of 8th and B, just before the park. Cass hadn't called him. He could see her still sitting on the green, across the park. He stopped in the deli and bought two drinks.
Cass was sitting on the blanket, petting Georgio's belly rolling him back and forth. "Hey." He said to her as he dropped down on the blanket next to her. "You okay?" Roger opened her water and handed it to her.
"No problem. Of course I had my killer watch dog with me."
"I can see where a vicious thing like that would be comforting." He joked, as Georgio curled up next to her and yawned. "I think all that protection is wearing him out."
When Cass laughed he couldn't help but kiss her. He loved it when she laughed.
"What was that for?" She asked him.
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just cause."
"Oh I see. Now, where did you have to go?"
"Nowhere." He grinned. "Did the electrician call yet?"
"Yes he did, we need to go back soon." She just looked at him staring at her. "Where did you go? And don't tell me nowhere. I can tell you're lying by that stupid grin!"
"Okay you're right, I lied." He teased. "I went somewhere."
"Where?"
"Somewhere."
"Oh you are impossible Davis!" She leaned forward to swat at him and he grabbed her and pulled her over to him.
"Do. you . really. want. to know?" He asked between kisses.
Just as he leaned in again, she pulled back and he lost his balance off the elbow he was leaning on. Cass laughed at him. "Considering you're being so secretive, yes I do."
"Okay, okay. I suppose. If you're gonna make me tell you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the small box he picked up. "I got you something. Sort of."
"What?" She grinned.
"Well, um." Suddenly he got real nervous. This could go either way. Real good or real bad, depending on how she takes this. "If you hate it, or you're mad I did it, I'm sorry. I can have it undone. I just figured you'd rather have this than have it broken. And it wasn't until, well right now, that I realized it might make you, well, feel funny." His eyes were on the box on the ground.
"Roger what is it?" She asked softly.
"Here. Like I said, if you hate it, I'm sorry. I mean I hope you like it, but if you don't, it's okay. Really. And if you want it undone, that's okay too. Really. Just tell me."
"How about you stop convincing me to hate it and just give it to me." She smiled at him.
"Oh, sorry." He grinned up at her as he slid the box over to her. "Here."
She just looked at him for a second before picking up the box. Roger never took his eyes off of her as she slowly lifted the lid. He watched the recognition come across her face.
"Roger it's beautiful. How did you, where did you, why would you ever think I'd hate it?" She lifted her mother's rosary out of the box and fingered the beads. The rose quarts beaded together with slightly smaller white, pearl like beads.
"Well you were so upset about your mom's rosary being busted, I felt bad for you." His eyes dropped down and he started tracing shapes on her leg with his finger. "See Mimi had her grandmother's rosary, and it's not like she ever went to church either, she just had it. Kinda like you. Just to have it. And then Mark found it when he cleaned out Mimi's room. And when I saw it, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"I love it." Cass whispered over the lump that had formed in her throat.
Roger looked up at her. "You don't mind? That the white ones were Mimi's?"
She shook her head and wiped away a tear that started to roll down. "No not at all. I loved Mimi. She was a sweetheart. Besides, she loved you didn't she? That makes her pretty good I guess."
"So you really like it?"
"I love it." She leaned over and kissed him. "Kinda like you."
"Good." He kissed her back. "So now that I got you one of the most well know religious icons in Catholicism," he leaned in and started kissing her again, " you. wanna. go home. and do something. real. uncatholic?"
"Agh! You are terrible Davis!
Roger shook out the blanket on the grass and sat down. As soon as he did Georgio ran into his lap. "This is weird." He told Cass as she laid back on the blanket putting her head in his lap as the dog jumped off.
"What's weird?" She asked, petting the dog.
"This. Us. Hanging out in Thompkin Square Park. With Benny's dog of all things!" He shook his head laughing.
Cass laughed at him. "Well it was either this or sit home in the dark. Besides it's beautiful out, and I feel like I haven't been outside in the daylight forever. And it's not like either of us can work without electricity anyway."
"I suppose. Just don't let go of his leash. God for bid we lose that dog. No one would ever believe it was an accident." He laughed.
"Well I'd tell them all it was an accident." She looked up at him.
"Oh yeah that'll help I'm sure! I can see it now. Everybody going on how Mark left Benny's dog alone with me and the only person that can give me an alibi is my girlfriend." He grinned.
" I guess that wouldn't work huh?"
"No I guess not." He reached over and pushed the leash down on her wrist. "That's why we'll make you totally responsible for the dog." He grinned at her.
"Great! Just what I need." She told him sarcastically. "Write your lyrics Davis."
"Fine." He bent down and kissed her on the nose. Roger opened Cass' bag and pulled out her wine-splattered book and his spiral notebook. They sat there like that for the next hour, Cass reading and Roger writing and re- writing lyrics.
"Aggggh! This is impossible. I can't do this right now. This is a lot harder without my guitar." He tossed down the spiral notebook and after she lifted her head up he laid down on the blanket next to her. Cass had rolled onto her left side and propped her head up on her hand. "What are you reading?' He asked as he ran his finger along her arm and over her shoulder.
"My book." She smiled as he started to kiss her shoulder.
"Hey it's after one. And today's Friday right?" Roger sat up as he spoke. Cass nodded as she put her book down and sat up cross-legged. Georgio came over and sat in her lap.
"If I ran to pick something up, would you be okay here alone? For like twenty, maybe twenty five minutes?"
A look of panic started to cross her face. Roger could tell she was trying to force it back down. She had to stay by herself sometime. She said so last night, waiting won't make anything easier. He didn't want to push her, but why not try. See what happens. All else fails, he either wont' go, or he'll take her with him.
"Where, where are you going to go?" She asked him, wide eyed.
"Only like two blocks away. I need to pick something up and they said it would be ready today after one." He took her hand and held it.
"What do you need to get?"
"It's a surprise." He smiled at her. "If you don't want me to go I won't. But you're going to have to go outside by yourself one of these days Cass." He started stroking her hair. "And today's as good as any."
"You'll only be gone twenty minutes?"
"Twenty five max. I promise. And you can call me if you need me."
"O-okay. I guess." She had a feeling she didn't sound very convincing. She just wasn't sure she wanted all that today.
He could tell she wasn't excited by this idea and he felt bad now that he had brought it all up, but she had agreed to it. Sort of. "I'll be right back. And it's the middle of the day Cass. Nobody should bother you in the middle of the day."
"I know. I mean I really do. My brain knows all this stuff. It's just." She trailed off.
"I know Baby." He kept stroking her hair. "I know. It's freaky. Kinda like the first time I went out on my own after getting clean. And I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do yet. But you are gonna have to do it someday. Mark and I can't be with you 24-7 forever."
"I know. I really do. And I don't want you guys babysitting my forever." She sighed. "I hate this! I hate feeling like this!"
"I know Baby." He pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "But it's not gonna go away on it's own. You're gonna have to push past it. When you're ready, you'll get there. And I'll be with you the whole time." She nodded as he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Besides, last night was kinda the same thing, that turned out pretty good." He smiled at her.
"That's true. I guess it did." She could feel herself blushing. "You're right." She told him more confidently this time. "It's okay. Go. Just come back quickly."
"Quick as I can. You call me if you need me. It will only be like twenty- five minutes I promise." He kissed her. "And Life Café is just across the street. Joellen should be there soon. Even if she's not, you know enough of the people that work there. If it gets bad just go there and call me. Okay?"
She nodded as the dog climbed in her lap.
"And you got that vicious guard dog with you too." He grinned at her.
"I know. It's stupid. I'll be fine." She told him, petting the dog.
"Okay. I'll be right back." Roger kissed her on her forehead then reached down and flipped the dog over and wrestled with him, almost covering his body with his hand. "And you," he told the dog, "guard Cass. Anybody comes near her, you bite 'em in the ankle. Got it Killer?" Georgio growled back playfully as Roger shook him.
He stood up, and started walking backward. "I'll be right back Babe. Promise." He turned around and almost ran out of the park.
Roger felt like he forced her into this. He knew she'd be fine. And he had to do it. He would have to leave her alone sometime. It had to be better now than waiting forever and suddenly having to up and leave her alone with no warning. If something came up, now at least she would have stayed by herself. As far as he could remember, she had only been alone for about a half-hour the day Jason came to stay with her.
Roger reached the shop he needed. Good, no line he thought. Cass hadn't called him yet either. Of course he'd only been gone about eight minutes. Okay Davis, stop arguing with yourself about this. You did the right thing. She wants to get past all this crap. She said so. She wants her life back to normal. You're just helping her along.
This is no different than your sorry ass not wanting to leave the loft. Except Cass probably would eventually go out on her own. Left to your own devices Davis, you would have sat up there till you rotted away.
Mark used to do the same thing as this. He was always trying to get you out. So this must be okay. It's basically the same thing. Except you were so damn stubborn, it never worked for Mark. Good thing you're more stubborn than Cass, or at least a bigger pain in the ass than Mark. The thought of that made Roger smile somewhat.
Roger checked his watch. Just over twenty minutes. He reached the corner of 8th and B, just before the park. Cass hadn't called him. He could see her still sitting on the green, across the park. He stopped in the deli and bought two drinks.
Cass was sitting on the blanket, petting Georgio's belly rolling him back and forth. "Hey." He said to her as he dropped down on the blanket next to her. "You okay?" Roger opened her water and handed it to her.
"No problem. Of course I had my killer watch dog with me."
"I can see where a vicious thing like that would be comforting." He joked, as Georgio curled up next to her and yawned. "I think all that protection is wearing him out."
When Cass laughed he couldn't help but kiss her. He loved it when she laughed.
"What was that for?" She asked him.
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just cause."
"Oh I see. Now, where did you have to go?"
"Nowhere." He grinned. "Did the electrician call yet?"
"Yes he did, we need to go back soon." She just looked at him staring at her. "Where did you go? And don't tell me nowhere. I can tell you're lying by that stupid grin!"
"Okay you're right, I lied." He teased. "I went somewhere."
"Where?"
"Somewhere."
"Oh you are impossible Davis!" She leaned forward to swat at him and he grabbed her and pulled her over to him.
"Do. you . really. want. to know?" He asked between kisses.
Just as he leaned in again, she pulled back and he lost his balance off the elbow he was leaning on. Cass laughed at him. "Considering you're being so secretive, yes I do."
"Okay, okay. I suppose. If you're gonna make me tell you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the small box he picked up. "I got you something. Sort of."
"What?" She grinned.
"Well, um." Suddenly he got real nervous. This could go either way. Real good or real bad, depending on how she takes this. "If you hate it, or you're mad I did it, I'm sorry. I can have it undone. I just figured you'd rather have this than have it broken. And it wasn't until, well right now, that I realized it might make you, well, feel funny." His eyes were on the box on the ground.
"Roger what is it?" She asked softly.
"Here. Like I said, if you hate it, I'm sorry. I mean I hope you like it, but if you don't, it's okay. Really. And if you want it undone, that's okay too. Really. Just tell me."
"How about you stop convincing me to hate it and just give it to me." She smiled at him.
"Oh, sorry." He grinned up at her as he slid the box over to her. "Here."
She just looked at him for a second before picking up the box. Roger never took his eyes off of her as she slowly lifted the lid. He watched the recognition come across her face.
"Roger it's beautiful. How did you, where did you, why would you ever think I'd hate it?" She lifted her mother's rosary out of the box and fingered the beads. The rose quarts beaded together with slightly smaller white, pearl like beads.
"Well you were so upset about your mom's rosary being busted, I felt bad for you." His eyes dropped down and he started tracing shapes on her leg with his finger. "See Mimi had her grandmother's rosary, and it's not like she ever went to church either, she just had it. Kinda like you. Just to have it. And then Mark found it when he cleaned out Mimi's room. And when I saw it, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"I love it." Cass whispered over the lump that had formed in her throat.
Roger looked up at her. "You don't mind? That the white ones were Mimi's?"
She shook her head and wiped away a tear that started to roll down. "No not at all. I loved Mimi. She was a sweetheart. Besides, she loved you didn't she? That makes her pretty good I guess."
"So you really like it?"
"I love it." She leaned over and kissed him. "Kinda like you."
"Good." He kissed her back. "So now that I got you one of the most well know religious icons in Catholicism," he leaned in and started kissing her again, " you. wanna. go home. and do something. real. uncatholic?"
"Agh! You are terrible Davis!