A/N Okay, this begins my favorite part of the whole story. It builds up to the really good part, but that's in the next chapter. So you'll have to wait. But here goes! And my usual heartfelt thanks to everyone that has reviewed for me!
Chapter 41
Roger realized he was wearing the same ripped jeans as the first time they came to the doctors' office when he caught the look the receptionist gave him. He threw it right back at her and kept the attitude up even after her's changed. And did it ever change when this time Cass not only had the insurance card Marguerite had sent her, but it was private insurance at that.
"Bitch." Roger said softly as he sat back down after giving the receptionist back the clipboard.
"Behave." Cass told him. She was actually in a good mood knowing at least part of her cast would be gone today.
"Sorry." He picked up her left hand that he was holding and kissed it. "I'm tired and grumpy I guess." Just then they called her name and she stood up dragging Roger with her. Good, he thought, then I'll have a chance to tell the doctor if she doesn't.
After a few minutes Dr. Cole came in. "So you ready to get at least two fingers back?"
"You have no idea." Cass grinned. "How about we save time and just cut it all off now?"
"How about not." She kidded back at Cass. "Nice try though. And believe me, I understand. Three weeks before the end of my sophomore year of college I broke my wrist, hand and two fingers playing drunken volleyball." She laughed thinking back. "So not only did I have to take all my finals like that, I lived at the shore!" She said as if that explained it all.
"You know, the Jersey shore, with the boardwalk. Haven't you ever been there?" When Cass shook her head Dr. Cole turned to Roger. "I know you're either a New Yorker or a Jersey Boy, probably from birth. What's wrong with you? Take this girl to the shore. I'm sure it would be an experience for her!" She laughed again.
Roger couldn't help but laugh. Normally he hated doctors, just on principle alone. But he really liked this one. She was friendly, and down to earth. She actually talked to them, not at them. He was sure part of it was the fact she wasn't swamped with patients. Most of which couldn't afford the visit, let alone the advice being given to them. But other than that he just liked her. She was probably like that as a person too, not just a doctor.
"So anyway," she continued as she got the hand held cast saw out. "School finishes, and I had big plans for that summer. Waitress at night at a boardwalk bar, and sleep on the beach and tan all day. Well that job was out, couldn't hold a tray." She kept talking as she cut at the cast. "So I ended up working days at one of the little boardwalk game booths. So my tanning days were then messed up, and there is a big difference in pay between the two jobs. And do you have any idea how annoying sand in your cast is?"
Cass and Roger laughed at her again as she finished up. "And mine was much worse. I wore that stupid cast till the week before school started! The whole summer!" She shook her head thinking back.
"There. Free at last. At least somewhat. Let's see you bend those." As Cass bent her middle and ring finger Dr. Cole held her hand up and watched. "They'll be stiff for awhile, just take it easy till they loosen up. Two more weeks, you'll be done for good." She smiled as she started marking in Cass' chart.
"Great! I can't wait!" Cass looked at Roger and laughed. "Apparently that's a popular feeling at home."
Dr. Cole looked up at Cass. "Oh really?" She turned to Roger. "She one of those dangerous types? Always whacking people and things with it?" Roger's laughter was all the confirmation she needed. "Yup, me too. I had more bruises and knocked over and broke more water glasses that summer. But you're not looking too badly beat up. This time." She said as she tapped her face next to her eye. Thinking back to his previous black eye.
"It was a lucky shot." Cass told her. "Which he leaned into."
"I'm sure." She smiled as she stood up. "Well anything else? If not, I'll see you guys in about two weeks."
"Nope." Cass said.
"Yes." Roger said, not looking at Cass, only Dr. Cole. "She's felt like crap for days. Her head hurts, her stomach's a mess and she's throwing up."
"Uh huh. What's up with that?" She asked Cass as she sat down and jotted more notes in the chart. "Any clues?"
"No, I'm fine. I just got all stressed out over a bunch of stuff with work, and my family was harassing me. That's it. I'm fine." Cass protested.
"Well, let's run a few tests. Just to be safe. Make sure life didn't give you an ulcer or anything." She gave them a warm smile and walked out.
"Why did you tell her that?" Cass asked him with a bitchy edge to her voice.
"Because it's the truth. And because I knew you wouldn't." He didn't care if she was pissed. He wanted to know what was going on. If for no other reason, to get rid of the nagging gut feeling he had developed the last few days.
Cass was mad. Maybe not mad she thought, but very annoyed. She had no plans of letting either of them, Roger or Mark off easy on this. She knew Mark was in on this as well.
She was still sulking when the nurse came in with a blood drawing kit. As she set everything up Cass looked at Roger who was turning a little green. "Are you okay Honey?" She asked him."
"Uh huh." He told her while seriously studying the rip in the knee of his jeans.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have good veins?" The nurse asked skeptically as she tied off Cass' arm and started slapping the inside of her elbow.
When she said that Roger looked up. He felt his stomach lurch. "I'll, I'll be right back."
"Guess he's not big on needles huh? Oh well, it's always the big, tuff ones that go down first." The nurse laughed.
"Um, yeah I guess." Cass said suddenly way more concerned than annoyed at Roger as she watched him walk out. "But no, no one ever told me that about my veins."
"Honey, they never will either." She shook her head. "You my dear, have crappy veins. And unfortunately we only have one arm to choose from. Make a fist a few times."
After a few minutes she was able to get enough blood and was all done and packed up her stuff. "Give me a chance to run this through and Dr. Cole will be back in to see you." When she opened the door back up Roger was waiting there. "She's all done." She told him as he came back into the room.
"Honey are you okay?" Cass asked him as he sat back down in the chair.
"Yeah I'm fine." He said a little too quickly.
Cass got up and walked over to him and sat on his lap. "I'm sorry I got bitchy. I mean you were right to tell her I guess." She started playing with his hair. "Roger are you sure you're okay? I mean you looked a little peaked before."
Roger wrapped his arms around her waist. "Yes, I'm fine. I just, well I'm not real crazy about needles."
"You're kidding?" Cass almost laughed out loud before she realized how serious he was. "You mean now or always."
"Well, always sort of I guess. But especially now I guess. And then when she tied you off and stuff, I just couldn't sit in here." His eyes dropped down to her lap.
She hugged him tight. "Oh Roger it's okay. I mean it makes a lot of sense, sort of. I mean you went through a lot to get clean and that's just stuff you don't want to remember."
"Yeah, I guess. I mean it doesn't bother me as much when it's my blood getting taken and all. I mean that will happen this afternoon, but I couldn't watch her do it on you." He leaned his head against her chest.
"It's okay Baby." She couldn't help it a small giggle escaped her lips and he looked up at her. "I'm sorry Roger. Really. I mean I can understand. Completely. But I need to ask, did you really not like needles before you started using?"
Roger had an idea where this was going and cracked a small grin. "Yeah, even before I was using." He shook his head.
More giggles escaped. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but you do see the irony of the whole thing right?"
Roger had to laugh listening to her. "Yeah, yeah, I see it. A junkie who's scared of needles. Ha ha, very funny." But he was laughing harder now too. "What did the nurse say?"
"She said I have crappy veins."
He picked up her left arm and looked at it. "She's right." He laughed at the absurdity of his own expertise on the subject. "You do have crappy veins. You would have made a lousy junkie."
"Thanks, I think." She laughed as she squeezed him tight.
**********
One of the nurses took them to Dr. Cole's office instead of waiting for her in an exam room. It was a good size office with a large desk piled high with files and journals and things. Cass sat on the small couch in the sitting area bending her new found fingers as Roger wandered around looking at the various pictures and degrees that were framed and hung on the wall.
"I don't know how doctors go to school for as long as they do. I never could have done that." He said shaking his head.
"You and me both. I mean you've heard the sorted details of my sporadic if not erratic college career. I know I could never have handled all the years involved in becoming a doctor."
"Yeah well," he gave her an impish grin. "There's always the next best thing."
"And what would that be?" She asked suspiciously.
"Well," He paused as he picked up a stethoscope off the desk; "you could always just play doctor." He gave her a huge, cheesy grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Put that down you'll get us in trouble!" She playfully scolded at him. "You are too much! Come sit down before somebody sees you playing with stuff and the bitch receptionist out there tries to have us arrested!"
Roger sat down next to her and reached across her lap for her right hand. He started playing with her newly exposed fingers, kissing them as she flexed them to work out he stiffness. He could tell she was edgy about waiting, but trying hard to hide it.
Finally, when she couldn't pretend any more she hopped up off the couch and started pacing around the room. "What is taking so long? I mean how long does it take to run a few stupid blood test and stuff? I told you I'm fine. I'm just stressed out, and this by the way is not helping."
"I know. Will just let them make sure? Just to be on the safe side? Please? For me?" He pleaded.
"I mean I'm fine. That's what's taking so long. It's the fact that I'm fine. They are going to keep running tests till they can find something wrong. All because you made a big deal about having a headache for a few days."
"It wasn't just a headache and you know it." He started to defend himself.
"Yes it was. That's all it was. A headache, along with a lot of cigarettes, which I could use right now, not to mention a little too much alcohol a couple of times in the last week."
He knew she was making excuses, and grasping at straws for those almost. "Damn it Cass! Can we just let them run the stupid tests and make sure you're not," he stopped in his tracks as the truth behind the nagging gut fear feeling rose to the surface of his mind. The thought he had been able to, for the most part, suppress deep back down. Back to that illogical area of his mind. The area that still housed the belief that you had to be careful. Careful not to think such things. Thinking it gave it a greater chance of being true. And here he almost went and said it out loud.
She was just looking at him, waiting. Waiting to hear what he was about to say. Say something idiot. Anything. Anything but that. "Just let them make sure you're not sick or something." Well that sounded like a pathetic attempt to not say something. Roger could tell she was afraid of something. Afraid and didn't want to admit it, maybe not even to herself. He wondered if the thought he kept pushing away and hiding in the dark corners of his brain, was the same one she had running around in the dark areas of her's as well.
"Fine!" She walked back over and sat down hard on the couch. She reached across Roger, grabbing his left wrist and looking at his watch. "We'll give them ten more minutes, then we're out of here."
He was about to say something back to her when the door opened and Dr. Cole walked in with her chart. Roger felt the anxiety run through her body. He twisted his wrist, which she was still holding and slid his hand into hers. As he interlocked their fingers with one hand, he wrapped his right arm protectively around her shoulder.
Ignoring her desk and the chairs in front of it, Dr. Cole came over and sat in the small arm chair across from them. She set the chart down on the coffee table and looked up at them. "Well, I've got the preliminary results from your blood tests." She wasn't looking at them, as much as watching them, both of them. Their body language was telling her plenty, but she watched for more. She had had this conversation with many couples, and these two weren't that different. Many of them had similar reactions waiting to hear news like this. But with these two it was deeper, more intense. She could often sense the hesitation or fear involved, but Cass and Roger gave off a different feeling.
It was a true fear, just not the usual sort. Not the 'my parents will kill me sort' or the 'how am I going to do this sort.' This was a different kind of fear. More of a dreadedness. She watched Roger's eyes go back and forth from herself to Cass and linger there for a moment, as if waiting to see what she may do. Cass on the other hand never looked up. Never moved. She just stared at he floor.
"The lab will run a few more tests and we'll have the results to all those in a few days. However, we do know why you're not feeling so hot Cass. You're pregnant." She watched Roger's eyes close tight as he bit his lip as if trying to hold something in. She was getting a vibe of anger coming off of him, but not directed at Cass, more at some unseen person or thing. It totally contradicted the care and concern he expressed at the same time towards Cass. That, along with Cass' reaction, or lack there of, just put more confirmation behind the theory that had started to develop in her mind.
"I would say a couple of weeks by the hormone level in your blood, but an OBGYN would be able to tell you better. Unless you know the conception date?"
Cass never moved, never looked up, almost as if she hadn't heard a word spoken and the carpet below her feet was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. Without taking his eyes off Cass, Roger slowly answered her. "Three weeks ago Thursday. I mean I guess it was Thursday, with Italy's time zone and all being ahead." He rambled on for a second, not even realizing as he did the math he was speaking aloud. "Yeah, Thursday night there would still be Thursday night here."
"Okay. Then almost three weeks pregnant. Look as your doctor, it's helpful to have all the facts, and sometimes those are hard to give. But am I safe in assuming there was more to the mugging in Italy than just a broken wrist and cracked ribs?"
Without looking up, Cass silently nodded her head. Knowing she wasn't going to get many answers out of Cass at the moment Dr. Cole turned to Roger. "Were you in Italy? Did the doctors there know what went on?"
"No." Roger said almost guiltily. "I wasn't there, but yeah I think they knew. She said it's just different over there, not like on TV in American ER's. But she didn't press charges against him or anything if that's what you mean."
She nodded at what Roger said. "Cass I want to run some standard tests. Normally the ER does that when you come in, but since we don't know what the hospital there did, I just want to be sure. Okay?" She asked her gently. Cass only nodded again. They talked awhile longer. She was glad to know Cass was seeing Elizabeth. She gave them a referral for the OBGYN in their practice and set her up with an appointment.
"I know this is a lot to take in Cass. And you've got a lot to consider and a lot of decisions ahead of you."
**********
As the cab pulled up in front of the deli, Collins looked at his watch. "This is why I always lie and tell you it's a half hour early then it actually is. Come on, I'm starving. Hey Cass, I thought you were going home?"
Roger paid the cab driver and led Cass towards the deli door. "Something came up." Was all he said.
Collins knew Roger well enough to know not to push it right now. Roger will tell him when he's ready. And Collins could wait till then. Whatever it was it was big.
They found a table in the back and Cass sat down. "What do you want to eat?" He asked her.
"Nothing." She said.
"Cass."
"Just get me something to drink."
"You gotta eat something!"
"Don't yell at me. Just get me a sandwich then."
"Okay. Fine. I'm sorry. Really. We'll be right back." She nodded to him and started staring out the window as they walked up to the counter and placed their orders.
Collins still hadn't said anything besides his order. Roger looked at Cass and then back to Collins. "She's pregnant."
Collins wasn't sure what he heard in Roger's voice, but none of it was good. "Oh. Wow. I'm guessing it's uh, it's um…"
"Yeah, it's his." Roger said.
This time Collins recognized some of what he heard. He had heard it before from Roger. Anger. Pain. Even jealousy. He knew that it was directed at Anton, but Collins had a feeling there was something more as well. "What's she going to do?"
"I don't know. She hasn't made any life altering decisions in the last twenty five fucking minutes!" He snapped at Collins. Roger looked at he tray as the girl behind the counter put their food on it. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little pissed off at the moment."
"Don't worry about it. You've got bigger issues to deal with than worrying about biting my head off. But can I make a suggestion. Don't bite her's off. She didn't do anything wrong. Especially to you."
"I know. I know." Roger clenched his jaw as he spoke. "I swear Collins, if I ever see that bastard." Roger picked up the tray as he started to walk towards the table.
Collins grabbed his arm and stopped him briefly. "I understand. Luckily that will never happen. But you need to get over that. Quick. Because that's your issue, not hers. And she's gonna need you to help her deal with her own issues."
Roger nodded. He knew Collins was right. At the moment that was about the only thing he knew. "Here, I got you a turkey sandwich and ice tea." He told her, trying to be gentle as they sat down.
"Thanks." She said softly as she picked at the sandwich. They sat there like that for the next ten minutes not really talking, and barely eating.
"Will you eat at least half of it? Please?" Roger said looking at her barely touched sandwich. "So you want me to just take you home? I never should have brought you here anyway. Come on, we'll just go. I'll get you something to eat there."
Collins watched silently as Roger stood up. "Where are you going?" Cass asked as if she hadn't heard a word he just said.
"Come on, I'll take you home."
"We can't. You can't. You've got an appointment."
"Screw it. I'll cancel it and get another one later. You don't want to be out here, I'll take you home."
"You can't cancel it. You're almost out of pills. You need a new prescription."
"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it later."
"How? You can't."
"Don't worry about it. This is more important. Come on."
"No!" She realized she had yelled at him when some of the other tables turned to look at them. "We're not going home. You're going for a new prescription." She said lowering her voice.
"Then eat some of the damn sandwich!" He growled.
"Fine!"
"Fine! God you are so damn stubborn!"
"And you're so damn agreeable to everything." She hissed at him, biting into the sandwich.
If the whole thing weren't so serious, Collins thought it would actually be quite amusing. He had all he could do to stifle the laugh at the edge of his lips.
"What?" Roger asked when he saw the look on Collins' face.
"Oh, um, nothing. We need to get moving soon though."
"We got time." He told him looking at his watch.
"Not if you're going to whine about wanting a cigarette first."
"I'll survive." Roger told him, watching Cass eat.
She finished most of her sandwich and they left the deli. No one spoke during the one block walk to the clinic. Cass walked with her eyes on the ground. Roger had his arm around her waist and never let go of her the whole way there.
When they reached the clinic Roger took out his wallet and handed Collins his ID card. "Here. Sign me in. I'm gonna have a cigarette."
Collins took the card and went inside. Roger sat down on the step and pulled Cass down in front of him. "Are you okay Baby?" He asked her, lighting two cigarettes and handing her one.
Cass sucked on the cigarette as she nodded her head.
"Cass, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell you. I don't even know what you want. Do you?" He asked her as he put an arm around her.
She shook her head no and then just sat there smoking the rest of her cigarette. Staring out into the street.
"It's gonna be okay Cass. I don't know how but it's gonna be okay." He kissed the back of her head and held her tight before resting his chin on top of her head. As they sat there Roger's phone rang.
"What Mark? No, she's right here. I'll talk to you later. Bye." He hung up the phone and just sat there with her.
"Rog you're up." Collins called from the doorway.
"I'm coming." He said not bothering to turn around. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"Come on inside Cass." Collins said. "I'm not back up for a while. You can keep me company."
Roger stood up and they walked inside. "I'll see you in a little bit." He kissed her and went through the door to the back, stopping once to look back at them, giving Collins an almost pleading look.
Collins wasn't sure what Roger was hoping he could do, but he figured he would give it a shot. They walked over to two empty seats and sat down. "How are you doing Cass?" He asked cautiously.
"I'm okay." Her voice was almost emotionless. Numb.
Collins figured she was still somewhat in shock over the whole thing. "I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet huh? The whole reality of all this. I guess you've had a lot of reality to deal with lately?" He realized he was babbling now and tried to refocus in a helpful direction.
"Just remember, when it does sink in, the reality of it all, just remember you're not alone. And I don't mean just Mark and Roger. You've got Jason and me too. Not to mention Jen and Maureen and Joanne. No matter what you choose to do, we would all stand behind you." Collins reached over and lightly put a hand on her shoulder. "Really."
"Thanks Collins." She was surprised she was able to squeak that out. She quickly wiped away the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She brought her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs as best she could.
They called his name after awhile and he went inside, leaving her alone. Alone to think. No matter what you choose to do he said. Choose to do? That implies choices. What choices? Those weren't choices. The longer she sat there, the more abstract the things that went flying through her brain became. Anton. Italy. Roger. Mark. Babies. Cases of wine. Vineyards. Her mother. Sunday's at mass. Confession booths. Rosaries. Busted necklaces. Her father. Paulie. Coke. Mirrors. Straws. Screeching tires. Flashing lights. Hospitals. Rehabs. The smell of this place. Lines. Needles. Roger. Burnt pancakes. Smoke alarms. Cigarettes. She needed another cigarette.
**********
When Collins got into the back waiting room, he walked over and sat next to Roger. He had his head in his hands, and his elbows resin on his knees. "Hey."
Roger didn't even look up when he heard him. He just started talking, shaking his head at the same time. "I don't know what to do Collins. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know. I just don't know. What do I do?"
"I can't tell you that buddy. I mean you can't tell her what to do anyway. All you can do is support whatever she decides to do."
"I know. But how…? But…? Damn it! I hate this. I hate this for her. I hate this for us. I hate this whole fucking thing."
"Well, we can't change any of that. Like I said, all any of us can do is listen to her and support whatever she decides to do. Any ideas on what that might be?"
"No. I don't think she even has any idea yet." He snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I really don't know. I mean she got brought up really catholic, but who knows how much that will affect things in this case. I mean it's not like it's some guy she's been dating forever. It's her fucking step cousin. And he fucking… you know." He was getting defensive.
"Yeah, I know. Just calm down a little. Can I ask you a question? Do you love her?"
Roger lifted his face out of his hand and looked at him for a second. "Yeah, I do. I really do." He said shaking his head.
"Does she know that?"
"I told her if that's what you mean. I know I've only known her like two and a half weeks. But…"
"They have been very intense weeks. Yeah, I know. I know how that is. And how you are." Collins said with a slight grin on his face.
"Damn it. It's not like I don't already feel guilty enough falling in love with her, then this happens."
"What do you mean?" Collins asked, somewhat confused.
Roger dropped his head back into his hands and ran his fingers into his hair. "I mean, she's not like Mimi. Cass is, well, she's incredible." He shook his head. "I don't mean Mimi wasn't incredible. She was too, just in different ways. What I mean is, well Mimi was... I mean Cass isn't going to…" He shook his head again, pulling at his hair.
"You mean because Mimi was positive and Cass isn't. You're worried about going off and dying on her?"
Roger shook his head again without looking up. "You think it's any different with Jason? Why can't you just learn to be happy and grateful for what you have got? For however long you've got it. Cass isn't stupid. She knows that. Especially with the life she's lead. Just try and be happy with what you've got today. For however many today's you've got. That's all Jason and I do." Collins shrugged as Roger looked up again.
"Yeah well, I don't see too much chance of Jason coming home with a kid someday." He said sarcastically. "I mean what if she wants to keep it? What then?"
Collins shrugged again. "Uncle Mark and Uncle Roger? Or Uncle Mark and, well, you said you loved her. Do you lover her enough to take on somebody else's kid? I mean," he paused, "would you even want a kid?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean yeah. I wouldn't mind it."
Collins had no idea where he was going or what he was talking about at this point. This was totally uncharted territory for him. Never did he envision having a conversation like this with Roger of all people. "Uh huh." That was all he could think of to say at that point.
"I know Cass can take care of herself. And I know she could take care of a kid by herself too. But what if that's what she wants to do? What if she wants to have it? And keep it? Where does that leave me?"
"I don't follow you?"
Roger was getting agitated again. He licked his lips out of nervousness so much today they were almost chapped. "What if she wants to do that? Bring a kid home and then I go off and die on it!"
Collins let out a long sigh. "I can understand that. But think of it this way. Is that so bad? For the kid I mean. I mean isn't a period of something that's good and decent, no matter how short, better than nothing? Would that be any worse than growing up with Anton? Knowing who and what he is? Or worse, then say growing up with someone like Jason and Jen's father?" Collins paused, not sure if he should make his next statement or not. "Or worse then having grown up your father?" He knew he hit a hot button with that last example, but he meant to. He hoped it would drive his point home. Literally. "Do you see what I'm saying?"
"Yeah, I guess so." He said hesitantly, as one of the nurses called his name. He stood up to walk into the other room but stopped first. "Thanks Collins."
"No problem." Collins told him as he watched him start to walk away. "Roger!" He called to him. When he turned around he continued. "Don't go home and have this conversation with Mark. As a matter of fact, don't have it with anyone. Not Mark, or Jason or even me again. Tell it to her. She's the one that needs to hear it. And she's the only one that can give you answers."
Roger nodded in agreement. He knew Collins was right.
********
Cass had no idea how long she had been sitting there like that. Staring. Thinking. Zoning out. Finally she heard Roger's voice. "Huh?" She looked up.
"I said are you okay Cass?" He asked, the worry very evident in his voice as he took her hand and stood her up.
"Uh huh. I was just thinking."
"Come on." He pulled her close as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go."
She started to let him lead her out but stopped all of a sudden and looked at him. She saw the tape on his arms from where they drew his blood. Her eyes slowly moved to his face. "Are you okay? Did you get a new prescription?"
He kissed her forehead. God he loved her. "Yeah, I'm fine. And Collins is gonna wait on my pills. He'll meet us at home later." He started to lead her out the door and down to the street again.
They walked the few blocks towards home in silence. As they came up to Thompkins Square Park, Roger finally spoke. "Do you wanna go home or walk around a while longer?" When all she did was shrug he continued. "I just don't feel like going back there just yet."
He didn't feel like dealing with that yet. Roger wasn't ready to deal with Mark yet to be truthful. He loved Mark, but he knew what would happen as soon as they got there. From the moment the door opens, Mark would start in the questions. And that would be it. Question after question after question. Most of which he didn't have answers for.
And it wouldn't just be Mark. Jason would be there, waiting on Collins. Which meant Jen would most likely be there too. As well as anybody else Mark, in all his nervousness dragged into this, looking for him, Cass and answers.
No, they couldn't go home yet. At least he couldn't. And he wouldn't send Cass up to deal with all them alone. Maybe they just needed to sit in the park awhile. Sit and talk. Maybe not even talk, just think. He knew that was the best idea right now. As mad as he was, home was the last place he should be. Roger just wanted to hit someone right now. Hit, scream, kick, fight, break things. And if he went home right now, he wouldn't be able to control all that. Mark would start with his thousands of questions and that would be it. That would do it. Roger was afraid if they walked into that, right now, he'd end up punching out Mark. He loved Mark, but he knew himself well enough to know, right now, he couldn't control the anger within himself. If they went back he would end up taking it out on someone there, and he was 99% sure that someone would be Mark.
"Yeah, um, going home right now isn't the best plan. Let's just sit in the part for awhile okay?"
Cass never really answered him, she just let him lead them into the park. Roger found a bench and sat down on it sideways, letting Cass sit and lean against his chest. He wrapped both arms around her tightly and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. She held onto his arms as she pulled her knees up towards herself.
"I love you Cass." He whispered into her hair. That was all they said. They just sat there like that. Watching the people cutting through the park as the sun slowly started to set.