Half-Heartless
Chapter Fourteen
I shift myself up, careful not to move my right leg. My arms cross and my emotionless golden eyes meet Sora's terrified lapis lazulis. I silently curse my ability to cry as tears stream down my cheeks and wet my fur. "Hey... er... Sora? I-I'm sorry about what went on at the Gummi Ship. For some reason I couldn't..." I uncross my arms and look at my hands. "I couldn't control myself."
A footstep awakens from my daze, and I see that the Keyblade master has ventured closer to me. His expression no longer portrays fear; instead, he seems more sympathetic. A sad smile makes me relax. I know that Sora has forgiven me. Gently, carefully, as though I'm a twig that might snap in a harsh gale, the Keybearer picks me up.
"You don't have to be sorry for anything, really." muses Sora as he carries me into a roofed part of the rickety old boat we're on. "I knew that when you sprouted those wings something was wrong. So, how's that ankle of yours?"
"Still broken. I can't believe it hasn't healed yet. It's had two hours!" I remark sarcastically. The Keyblade master laughs, then introduces me to Geppetto and Pinnochio. Both of them seem a little cautious, but I would be, too, if I met an English-speaking Heartless that had just very nearly killed off the heroes.
Maria looks up at me worriedly. "Are you normal again?"
"Yep." I reply. Sora looks at me strangely. "Oh, Maria asked me something. And can you find a place to set me down? Your body heat is making me sweat."
"Yeah, well, you're cold." states the Keybearer as he sets me down on a stool.
"So," begins Kristina after a few uneasy minutes, "How was it like losing control over your own body? Was it scary? Even though you nearly killed me, you were pretty coo-" A quick glare from me tells her to shut up, and she does so.
I sigh and hug myself. My life is just so mixed up. First off, I'm half- Heartless. I won't ever be accepted fully by either Heartless or humans. Second, I'm betraying the Heartless and going on a crazy adventure to destroy them. Not only that, but one of my best friends nearly killed me twice AND I almost killed everyone, too.
"Des, I'm going to ask you this once. Are you feeling okay?" asks Maria sternly. She rests her hand on my shoulder and carries the essence of a smile, reassuring me.
I cease hugging myself and return her smile. "Not really. I lost control of myself for awhile there. Sorry about that." I sigh and hug her. "Maria, I'm so confused. Everything is in shambles."
"So I noticed. But you have to keep in mind that others have problems, too." replies Maria. I give her a questioning glance. "Look, it's like this. I have to keep myself from stealing hearts because I know it's wrong, but it would lift so much off of my shoulders. I could go back to being a normal human and live my life the way I want to. You're not the only one who's struggling here."
"I never really thought about it like that. I'm embarrassed." I giggle. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure disappear into the lower tunnel on a beach-like area to the right of the boat.
A quick glance beside me shows that Maria saw it, too. "Did you see that, Destiny? Should we tell Sora about it?"
"Let's wait. If it went past us without hurting us, it's probably nothing."
"Whatever you say."
A few minutes of talking pass by, until...
"Hey, where's Pinnochio?" inquires Goofy. The rest of us look around, but the living puppet is nowhere in sight. I sit bolt upright as I see the sillhouette of the wooden boy vanish into the same tunnel as the mysterious figure.
"He went into the lower tunnel." I report, pointing to the opening. "I saw him go in."
Sora nods to me, then slings his Keyblade over his shoulder. "Okay, guys, let's go." He casts a glance back at me. "But, uh... Somebody should stay to watch Destiny. I'm sure Geppeto could handle her fine, but... I still think that one of us should stay."
"I will!" squeaks Maria.
"Maria says she will." I translate. Smiling, the chestnut-haired Keyblade master jumps off the side of the crashed ship. I hear a distant 'splash', followed by a soaking wet Sora running out of the water and going through the tunnel.
Suddenly, I feel incredibly lonely. All my life - even my human life, not just my Heartless life - I had been surrounded by a lot of people. But now, all I had was Maria and a bent old man. Sighing, I stare at the ceiling of the boat. BANG! I jerk my head up and rub the new sore spot on my head, glaring at my friend, who's laughing so hard she's close to tears. In response, I take out my slingshot and hit her in the head.
The fish in the fish bowl swims over and watches us with humanoid interest as Maria slips on one of my banana peel and drops a lot of munny that she had stolen from past travelers. I stretch and shovel the chiming spheres into Sora's bag. My friend tackles the bag and drags it away. As she runs by, I grab her bow and undo it. Maria stops, dropping the bag. She starts tying her bow. Smiling, I reach out and grab the bag, setting it by my side and keeping my paw on it protectively.
After we have a good, long laugh, Maria smiles. "That was fun. Kinna reminded me of our past times at Deep Jungle. Hey, Des, remember when we first met? You had just been upgraded to a Bouncywild, and you walked in and were all nervous..."
"Yeah, and I avoided everyone else for awhile. But then you saw me hiding in the thicket," I add, "And walked up to me. At first I was scared that you'd reject me."
"But then I was all cheerful. I was absolutely clueless about you being half-Heartless."
"I started talking to you a little bit, and I finally figured out that you didn't know about me. But when a Powerwild asked you why you hung out with me, you were curious what made me different."
"So I asked. And he told me about your being half-Heartless. You told me that you didn't tell me about it before because you were afraid I'd reject you. But I actually admired you!"
"You did?"
"Yep!"
Gepetto looks at us strangely. I can tell he's wondering who I'm talking to. But the two of us continue talking and laughing. I haven't felt like this since I betrayed the Heartless to help out Sora. In fact, I'm not feeling all that lonely anymore.
"Hey." begins Maria. "I'm just curious, but... If I had lost control, attacked you, and run off, Would YOU miss me as much as you miss Storm? You don't have to answer, it might be personal, but I'm just wondering."
I think about it, and for once, the Storm incident doesn't feel like such a tradgedy anymore. "Yes. Probably. Maybe. I dunno." I crack up laughing. "I hate being indecisive..."
"You always were indecisive, now that I think about it." remarks Maria. She starts laughing along with me, and then it subsides. The air around us is warm with comfort and friendship.
"Hey, Maria?" I inquire. "Not many Heartless have human emotions like we do. I've always wondered, what makes us different? Were we chosen or something?"
My friend starts laughing again. "You have no idea how cliched and corny that sounded."
"Shut up. Just answer the question." I grumble, punching her in the arm. Maria rubs the area where I punched her and scowls at me with fake anger.
"Hm... You wanna know what I think? Alright. I think that most Heartless have to lock up all of their emotions to steal a heart. But those like you and me don't really care about getting a heart, so we just sit back, relax, and have fun."
THUD. Maria slips on a banana peel that I forgot was there. I keel over with laughter and my friend gets up, glaring at me. The Bouncywild looks around, then turns back to me. "Hey, Des, shouldn't you rest a little? You know, sleep makes injuries heal faster."
"I... I don't like sleeping." I say softly. When Maria gives me a puzzled look, I explain, "I'm scared to go to sleep because when I sleep, I have dreams with my dark side in them and I don't feel like facing her right now..."
"Aw, it's okay, I'm here. If you start tossing and turning or whimpering or whatever you do, I'll shake you awake." promises my friend. I nod to her, and she allows me to lean against her as a crutch as we go back to the bed made for me on the bow.
When I pull up the blanket, I give Maria a worried look. "You're positive you'll wake me up?"
"Yep."
"Promise?"
"Sure thing."
"Okay... You're absolutely positively sure about this?"
"Just go to sleep, Des."
Maria laughs as she walks away. I stare at the roof of Monstro's mouth, my paws behind my head. Memories flood into my mind, but each one flashes so fast I don't have the time to recall them as I fade into slumber. The only one I see is my reflection in the mirror as a fifteen-year-old black-haired girl, looking so happy.
Wasn't that the day before the Heartless attacked?
Of course, the memories make me have a dream about my past life. It was like my last dream, where I was a human and I went home - only it is dark and unlit, with no people and some of the houses boarded up. I gasp as I realize that this is how it is now. The warmth of the air tells me that it's daytime... When the Heartless came, Traverse Town plunged into eternal nighttime, never to see the light of day again.
As I walk through the town, my oversized boots' plod on the cobblestone is the only echoing sound in the district besides the sound of a hooting owl. The bell to the apartment building rings as the door creaks open, the see- through part of the door thick with dust. The lobby is incredibly musty as I walk inside. Feeling my way around, I find the light switch and turn it on. Surprisingly, the light still works, but it's very dim and I can hardly see.
Shock circulates thorugh my body as I see another girl sitting on the counter, an eerie smirk on her face... and eyes glowing yellow. As I venture closer I realize that she look exactly like my human form, only her blue denim jacket is darker, almost black, and her capris aren't khaki, they're dark blue like her jacket. I sit there for a minute and come to the conclusion that she can't see me, so I move on.
"Wait." Her voice sends chills down my spine. Once again, her voice is exactly like mine, only with an icy edge to it.
Sighing, I turn around. "You're my dark side, aren't you? How come you have to bug me in every one of my dreams?"
"Who says I'm your dark side?" she replies, the smirk still on her face. " I'm just your Heartless side. Heartless are neutral creatures - they just steal hearts because they want their heart back."
"I know you're evil. You nearly made me kill my friends." I counter. My dark side starts snickering, then her snickering turns into a full laugh that echoes through the halls.
She slides off of the counter and walks towards me, hands thrust in her pockets. "I didn't make you almost kill your friends. You did that. Your Heartless side just took over."
"So... you're saying that in real life, we're one and the same," I figure, "But in our dreams, I'm the human side and you're the Heartless side?"
"Exactly right. You're a clever girl."
"But... Wait... If you're me, then how do you know more then me?"
My dark side frowns. "Who says I know more? You know this stuff, but you just don't acknowledge it, so I just have to make it known to you."
"But I have to ask you... Why did you take over while we were in the Gummi ship?" I ask.
"I just had to expose to you how it feels to be completely Heartless, like most of your friends." explains my dark side, mouth snaking into a smirk again. "You don't feel the yearning for a human heart - your friends do. What's better than to show you that you aren't the only one with internal battles?"
I hate to admit it, but she's right - Maria told me the same thing earlier. "You... You're right." I remember sometihng she said to me a long time ago. "Remember when you told me 'There is darkness in the light'? What did you mean by that?"
"Shadows. When you stand in front of the light, you have a shadow behind you, and it's technically darkness in the light." states my dark side, indicating her shadow.
She turns to leave, but then looks back at me. "Also, you can refer to me as Fate, and about that ankle of yours..." A band of darkness wraps around my broken ankle and then disappears. "There. You should be completely healed when you awaken."
With that, she vanishes, and the scene fades into black.
I wake up and sit upright, looking at my ankle. I move it around a little. It's... not broken anymore. "Maria!" I yell. My friend looks at me from the cabin-type place on the boat, and to her surprise, I get up and run over. "Maria, I had to weirdest dream!"
[Author's Note]
Maji: *is deliriously happy* HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! *stops singing* I beat Kurt Zisa, Sephiroth, AND the Phantom all in one day! I had beaten the Ice Titan a few days earlier... And guess what? I've gone back and beaten the Ice Titan four times, AND I've beaten Sephiroth twice. Cool eh? I'm superior! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *starts singing again* HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH...
Gypsy: Maji's been teasing us about her beating all of the secret bosses since the moment she defeated the Phantom...
Chibi Ansem: Of course, she's beaten the entire game about seven times now by saving at Final Rest, beating Ansem, then turning off the game and going back to Final Rest and beating Ansem again... Why am I talking about myself in third person? Oo
Young Sora: I'm proud to have such an expert gamer controlling my older form! ^^
Vivi: Expert gamer... Yah right...
Chibi Kenshin: *is happy for once* Shut up, Vivi, Maji's great.
Vivi: No she's not! She took me from home and drove me crazy! _
Maji: *smites Vivi*
Vivi: Ow... *gets teary-eyed*
[Disclaimer]
*runs away from the evil lawyers* MWAHAHAHAHA! Ph33r my author powers and l33t skillz... No disclaimer today!
Chapter Fourteen
I shift myself up, careful not to move my right leg. My arms cross and my emotionless golden eyes meet Sora's terrified lapis lazulis. I silently curse my ability to cry as tears stream down my cheeks and wet my fur. "Hey... er... Sora? I-I'm sorry about what went on at the Gummi Ship. For some reason I couldn't..." I uncross my arms and look at my hands. "I couldn't control myself."
A footstep awakens from my daze, and I see that the Keyblade master has ventured closer to me. His expression no longer portrays fear; instead, he seems more sympathetic. A sad smile makes me relax. I know that Sora has forgiven me. Gently, carefully, as though I'm a twig that might snap in a harsh gale, the Keybearer picks me up.
"You don't have to be sorry for anything, really." muses Sora as he carries me into a roofed part of the rickety old boat we're on. "I knew that when you sprouted those wings something was wrong. So, how's that ankle of yours?"
"Still broken. I can't believe it hasn't healed yet. It's had two hours!" I remark sarcastically. The Keyblade master laughs, then introduces me to Geppetto and Pinnochio. Both of them seem a little cautious, but I would be, too, if I met an English-speaking Heartless that had just very nearly killed off the heroes.
Maria looks up at me worriedly. "Are you normal again?"
"Yep." I reply. Sora looks at me strangely. "Oh, Maria asked me something. And can you find a place to set me down? Your body heat is making me sweat."
"Yeah, well, you're cold." states the Keybearer as he sets me down on a stool.
"So," begins Kristina after a few uneasy minutes, "How was it like losing control over your own body? Was it scary? Even though you nearly killed me, you were pretty coo-" A quick glare from me tells her to shut up, and she does so.
I sigh and hug myself. My life is just so mixed up. First off, I'm half- Heartless. I won't ever be accepted fully by either Heartless or humans. Second, I'm betraying the Heartless and going on a crazy adventure to destroy them. Not only that, but one of my best friends nearly killed me twice AND I almost killed everyone, too.
"Des, I'm going to ask you this once. Are you feeling okay?" asks Maria sternly. She rests her hand on my shoulder and carries the essence of a smile, reassuring me.
I cease hugging myself and return her smile. "Not really. I lost control of myself for awhile there. Sorry about that." I sigh and hug her. "Maria, I'm so confused. Everything is in shambles."
"So I noticed. But you have to keep in mind that others have problems, too." replies Maria. I give her a questioning glance. "Look, it's like this. I have to keep myself from stealing hearts because I know it's wrong, but it would lift so much off of my shoulders. I could go back to being a normal human and live my life the way I want to. You're not the only one who's struggling here."
"I never really thought about it like that. I'm embarrassed." I giggle. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure disappear into the lower tunnel on a beach-like area to the right of the boat.
A quick glance beside me shows that Maria saw it, too. "Did you see that, Destiny? Should we tell Sora about it?"
"Let's wait. If it went past us without hurting us, it's probably nothing."
"Whatever you say."
A few minutes of talking pass by, until...
"Hey, where's Pinnochio?" inquires Goofy. The rest of us look around, but the living puppet is nowhere in sight. I sit bolt upright as I see the sillhouette of the wooden boy vanish into the same tunnel as the mysterious figure.
"He went into the lower tunnel." I report, pointing to the opening. "I saw him go in."
Sora nods to me, then slings his Keyblade over his shoulder. "Okay, guys, let's go." He casts a glance back at me. "But, uh... Somebody should stay to watch Destiny. I'm sure Geppeto could handle her fine, but... I still think that one of us should stay."
"I will!" squeaks Maria.
"Maria says she will." I translate. Smiling, the chestnut-haired Keyblade master jumps off the side of the crashed ship. I hear a distant 'splash', followed by a soaking wet Sora running out of the water and going through the tunnel.
Suddenly, I feel incredibly lonely. All my life - even my human life, not just my Heartless life - I had been surrounded by a lot of people. But now, all I had was Maria and a bent old man. Sighing, I stare at the ceiling of the boat. BANG! I jerk my head up and rub the new sore spot on my head, glaring at my friend, who's laughing so hard she's close to tears. In response, I take out my slingshot and hit her in the head.
The fish in the fish bowl swims over and watches us with humanoid interest as Maria slips on one of my banana peel and drops a lot of munny that she had stolen from past travelers. I stretch and shovel the chiming spheres into Sora's bag. My friend tackles the bag and drags it away. As she runs by, I grab her bow and undo it. Maria stops, dropping the bag. She starts tying her bow. Smiling, I reach out and grab the bag, setting it by my side and keeping my paw on it protectively.
After we have a good, long laugh, Maria smiles. "That was fun. Kinna reminded me of our past times at Deep Jungle. Hey, Des, remember when we first met? You had just been upgraded to a Bouncywild, and you walked in and were all nervous..."
"Yeah, and I avoided everyone else for awhile. But then you saw me hiding in the thicket," I add, "And walked up to me. At first I was scared that you'd reject me."
"But then I was all cheerful. I was absolutely clueless about you being half-Heartless."
"I started talking to you a little bit, and I finally figured out that you didn't know about me. But when a Powerwild asked you why you hung out with me, you were curious what made me different."
"So I asked. And he told me about your being half-Heartless. You told me that you didn't tell me about it before because you were afraid I'd reject you. But I actually admired you!"
"You did?"
"Yep!"
Gepetto looks at us strangely. I can tell he's wondering who I'm talking to. But the two of us continue talking and laughing. I haven't felt like this since I betrayed the Heartless to help out Sora. In fact, I'm not feeling all that lonely anymore.
"Hey." begins Maria. "I'm just curious, but... If I had lost control, attacked you, and run off, Would YOU miss me as much as you miss Storm? You don't have to answer, it might be personal, but I'm just wondering."
I think about it, and for once, the Storm incident doesn't feel like such a tradgedy anymore. "Yes. Probably. Maybe. I dunno." I crack up laughing. "I hate being indecisive..."
"You always were indecisive, now that I think about it." remarks Maria. She starts laughing along with me, and then it subsides. The air around us is warm with comfort and friendship.
"Hey, Maria?" I inquire. "Not many Heartless have human emotions like we do. I've always wondered, what makes us different? Were we chosen or something?"
My friend starts laughing again. "You have no idea how cliched and corny that sounded."
"Shut up. Just answer the question." I grumble, punching her in the arm. Maria rubs the area where I punched her and scowls at me with fake anger.
"Hm... You wanna know what I think? Alright. I think that most Heartless have to lock up all of their emotions to steal a heart. But those like you and me don't really care about getting a heart, so we just sit back, relax, and have fun."
THUD. Maria slips on a banana peel that I forgot was there. I keel over with laughter and my friend gets up, glaring at me. The Bouncywild looks around, then turns back to me. "Hey, Des, shouldn't you rest a little? You know, sleep makes injuries heal faster."
"I... I don't like sleeping." I say softly. When Maria gives me a puzzled look, I explain, "I'm scared to go to sleep because when I sleep, I have dreams with my dark side in them and I don't feel like facing her right now..."
"Aw, it's okay, I'm here. If you start tossing and turning or whimpering or whatever you do, I'll shake you awake." promises my friend. I nod to her, and she allows me to lean against her as a crutch as we go back to the bed made for me on the bow.
When I pull up the blanket, I give Maria a worried look. "You're positive you'll wake me up?"
"Yep."
"Promise?"
"Sure thing."
"Okay... You're absolutely positively sure about this?"
"Just go to sleep, Des."
Maria laughs as she walks away. I stare at the roof of Monstro's mouth, my paws behind my head. Memories flood into my mind, but each one flashes so fast I don't have the time to recall them as I fade into slumber. The only one I see is my reflection in the mirror as a fifteen-year-old black-haired girl, looking so happy.
Wasn't that the day before the Heartless attacked?
Of course, the memories make me have a dream about my past life. It was like my last dream, where I was a human and I went home - only it is dark and unlit, with no people and some of the houses boarded up. I gasp as I realize that this is how it is now. The warmth of the air tells me that it's daytime... When the Heartless came, Traverse Town plunged into eternal nighttime, never to see the light of day again.
As I walk through the town, my oversized boots' plod on the cobblestone is the only echoing sound in the district besides the sound of a hooting owl. The bell to the apartment building rings as the door creaks open, the see- through part of the door thick with dust. The lobby is incredibly musty as I walk inside. Feeling my way around, I find the light switch and turn it on. Surprisingly, the light still works, but it's very dim and I can hardly see.
Shock circulates thorugh my body as I see another girl sitting on the counter, an eerie smirk on her face... and eyes glowing yellow. As I venture closer I realize that she look exactly like my human form, only her blue denim jacket is darker, almost black, and her capris aren't khaki, they're dark blue like her jacket. I sit there for a minute and come to the conclusion that she can't see me, so I move on.
"Wait." Her voice sends chills down my spine. Once again, her voice is exactly like mine, only with an icy edge to it.
Sighing, I turn around. "You're my dark side, aren't you? How come you have to bug me in every one of my dreams?"
"Who says I'm your dark side?" she replies, the smirk still on her face. " I'm just your Heartless side. Heartless are neutral creatures - they just steal hearts because they want their heart back."
"I know you're evil. You nearly made me kill my friends." I counter. My dark side starts snickering, then her snickering turns into a full laugh that echoes through the halls.
She slides off of the counter and walks towards me, hands thrust in her pockets. "I didn't make you almost kill your friends. You did that. Your Heartless side just took over."
"So... you're saying that in real life, we're one and the same," I figure, "But in our dreams, I'm the human side and you're the Heartless side?"
"Exactly right. You're a clever girl."
"But... Wait... If you're me, then how do you know more then me?"
My dark side frowns. "Who says I know more? You know this stuff, but you just don't acknowledge it, so I just have to make it known to you."
"But I have to ask you... Why did you take over while we were in the Gummi ship?" I ask.
"I just had to expose to you how it feels to be completely Heartless, like most of your friends." explains my dark side, mouth snaking into a smirk again. "You don't feel the yearning for a human heart - your friends do. What's better than to show you that you aren't the only one with internal battles?"
I hate to admit it, but she's right - Maria told me the same thing earlier. "You... You're right." I remember sometihng she said to me a long time ago. "Remember when you told me 'There is darkness in the light'? What did you mean by that?"
"Shadows. When you stand in front of the light, you have a shadow behind you, and it's technically darkness in the light." states my dark side, indicating her shadow.
She turns to leave, but then looks back at me. "Also, you can refer to me as Fate, and about that ankle of yours..." A band of darkness wraps around my broken ankle and then disappears. "There. You should be completely healed when you awaken."
With that, she vanishes, and the scene fades into black.
I wake up and sit upright, looking at my ankle. I move it around a little. It's... not broken anymore. "Maria!" I yell. My friend looks at me from the cabin-type place on the boat, and to her surprise, I get up and run over. "Maria, I had to weirdest dream!"
[Author's Note]
Maji: *is deliriously happy* HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! *stops singing* I beat Kurt Zisa, Sephiroth, AND the Phantom all in one day! I had beaten the Ice Titan a few days earlier... And guess what? I've gone back and beaten the Ice Titan four times, AND I've beaten Sephiroth twice. Cool eh? I'm superior! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *starts singing again* HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH...
Gypsy: Maji's been teasing us about her beating all of the secret bosses since the moment she defeated the Phantom...
Chibi Ansem: Of course, she's beaten the entire game about seven times now by saving at Final Rest, beating Ansem, then turning off the game and going back to Final Rest and beating Ansem again... Why am I talking about myself in third person? Oo
Young Sora: I'm proud to have such an expert gamer controlling my older form! ^^
Vivi: Expert gamer... Yah right...
Chibi Kenshin: *is happy for once* Shut up, Vivi, Maji's great.
Vivi: No she's not! She took me from home and drove me crazy! _
Maji: *smites Vivi*
Vivi: Ow... *gets teary-eyed*
[Disclaimer]
*runs away from the evil lawyers* MWAHAHAHAHA! Ph33r my author powers and l33t skillz... No disclaimer today!