A/N So now you see why this is one of my favorite parts of the whole story! Glad you guys are loving it so much. I figured I better update soon, before someone hunts me down looking for what happens next! Love this part!!!!
Chapter 43
"Get the fuck off me Jason! Let me go!" Roger growled at him.
Jason looked to Collins who shook his head with a sigh as Jason released his grip off Roger. "Sorry man, but if I didn't grab you, your were going to hurt him. You okay now?"
Roger lit a cigarette and glared at Jason. "Yeah I'm okay. And don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt him. I'm gonna fucking kill him!"
"Oh shut up!" Maureen snapped at him and it wasn't with the usual selfish drama queen diva bitchiness. She was serious. Damn serious, and everyone knew it. She yanked the cigarette out from between Roger's lips and handed it to Leslie. "She wants a cigarette."
Leslie started towards the bedroom where Maureen had taken Cass after Mark stormed out before turning back towards Ginny who was talking her own cigarette out of Roger's pack. "Should she be smoking if she's pregnant? I mean that can't be good for her."
"Oh and being made hysterical by two frigging idiots screaming at each other and her is so healthy?" Ginny glared at Roger while she lit her cigarette. "Yeah give it to her. One more won't hurt her, besides it may help her clam down."
"I'll take it to her." Roger snapped.
"No you won't. She's in there trying to remember to breathe like a normal person again before she hyperventilates." Maureen stepped in front of him, joined by Ginny. "And she doesn't need any help from you right now!"
"Fine!" He moved the other way and threw himself down on the couch. "I'm gonna kill him Collins. I'm gonna fucking kill him."
"Just shut up Roger! You are not!" Maureen stood there, hands on her hips. She hadn't been this mad at them ever. "Stop acting like some jealous little kid who didn't get told the big secret! He's your best friend for god sake! And if you stopped to think about it, that was about the most un-Mark like thing any of us, including you, have ever seen! Doesn't that tell you anything Roger?"
"Just that he's a fucking ass!"
"No dipshit! He obviously is really worried about Cass! And for some stupid reason, you too. Although after tonight I wouldn't blame him for never speaking to you again for being so damn stupid as to not see that! But we all know that will never happen."
"Go to hell Maureen." He told her blowing out smoke.
"Where's the video?" Cass asked meekly as she came to the bedroom door. "I want to see what he's talking about."
"It's right here sweetie. Are you sure?" Jen asked her.
Cass shook her head as she walked over to the couch. Roger reached out to take her hand as she came by him, followed by Maureen, but she kept going. She sat down on the far end of the couch, trying to shrink into the cushions, putting Maureen between herself and Roger. She pulled her knees up towards her chin as Jason put the tape in the VCR.
Roger got up off the couch when Cass blew by him. He shoved another cigarette into his mouth as he sat down at the counter and glared at Maureen. Trouble making bitch! Roger didn't know what to do. He was so pissed. Pretty much at everyone. Maureen, Jen, Ginny, Jason, Collins and especially Mark. What the hell was he thinking? Screaming at Cass like that? What the fuck is wrong with Mark? Hasn't she been through enough crap? Without him acting like an ass? And getting Roger caught up in it too. Great, we're the best she's got and we're fucking idiots. That's just perfect he thought to himself.
"Okay. Here goes." Jason said hitting the play button. "What exactly are we looking for?"
"Well, he said something about the rest of the tape." Joanne pointed out. "About taping over something else. Try going to the end of whatever it is and looking after that."
"Happy Birthday Marky!" Cass' voice came out of the TV. Jason started to fast forward through the video, stopping every now and then at what he assumed were various friends of Cass' talking in what seemed like a mock type interview about Mark.
"Cohen?" Some guy with extremely blood shot eyes behind a desk said. "Oh yeah, when I first met him, I knew then. He was going to be bigger than Tarentino some day."
Jason fast forwarded some more and stopped on a girl, poolside, in a very small bikini. "Marky?" She gave a big cheesy grin. "Oh yeah, I know Marky. Real well. I know Quinton too. Let's just say, there's no comparison between the two. If you know what I mean." She smiled and winked at the camera.
It actually seemed like a very funny video, from the parts they were watching. Finally they came to what seemed like the end. Jason hit play again. Three girls in low cut bikini tops, leaning over on a bar to fully show their cleavage that had "Happy Birthday Marky" written across it. All waving and blowing kisses at the camera before the screen went dark. It stayed like that for about thirty seconds before suddenly cutting back on. It was obvious Mark's birthday tape had been put on another tape of a party.
Right away it cut to a group of girls, Cass among them laughing and joking. Roger watched Cass. He could tell she was wasted out of her mine that night. She had that glazed look in her eyes. And all three girls kept wiping at their noses.
After awhile it went back to Cass and the girls at a table, cutting up lines. A guy's voice off camera started talking, oblivious he was being recorded.
"God Paulie you been playing with that thing stupid thing all night, will you put the fucking camera down."
"Come on Bri," the second guys' voice said, "this is the new one, it's got all sorts of new stuff on it." He zoomed in on the girls again as they continued talking off camera.
"What did you get a new one for anyway?"
"Cass needed it for that thing she was doing. For that guy she knows, for his birthday."
"That stupid interview thing? What was that?"
"I don't know. He makes movies or some crap like that. She said he'd like it."
"Oh. Hey you got anything, or are the girls hogging it all?"
"Yeah here." He said as he zoomed in on Cass. "Oh baby. Damn she's never coming down tonight." Apparently, he set the camera down on the table, not realizing it was still on and recording. The two voices kept talking unaware.
"Is that so bad?" The first voice said slyly. "Come on Paulie spill it. Cass give blow jobs as well as the job she does on blow?"
"You are a sick and twisted man Bri. But damn she is doing one hell of a job on the blow lately."
"She still knocked up?"
"Yeah, and it's costing me a fortune."
They stopped talking for a moment. Roger could hear them off camera, snorting up lines.
"Why won't she just get an abortion?" Bri asked.
"Oh the damn Catholic thing. One lousy abortion would cost me the same as one night's coke binge. She's like tripled her lines and she still hasn't lost it yet!"
"What do you expect? It's your kid Paulie, it's gonna have a high tolerance." They started laughing.
"Turn it off. We saw enough." Maureen told them, putting an arm around Cass, who was still just sitting there, staring at the duck tape on the arm of the couch.
Jason reached up and turned off the TV and VCR. Just then the dog, who had been sleeping in on Mark's bed, came running in, dragging his leash. He ran over to Roger and sat at his feet. When Roger ignored him for a minute he started dancing in a circle and whimpering. "Go away." Roger told him.
"Come here Georgio, I'll take you out." Leslie called to him.
"I'll go with you." Ginny said, standing up.
Roger just sat at the counter. He didn't know what to do. What to say. Cass hated him at the moment. Mark hated him at the moment. All of their friends probably hated him right now too. In the past he would have just taken off. At least for the night, maybe longer. But he couldn't go anywhere now. He couldn't leave Cass. He didn't want to leave Cass, but he couldn't either. Not now, especially with Mark having taken off. So he sat there, and waited.
"Cass do you want anything? Something to eat maybe?" Jen asked, taking some of the dinner bowls to the kitchen.
She only shook her head and continued picking at the duct tape on the couch arm. After a second, still without saying anything, she got up from the couch. With her eyes on the ground she walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Roger watched her close the door and dropped his face back into his hands on the counter.
"Roger do you want some dinner. Something more substantial then nicotine?" Jen asked softly as she pulled one of his hands away from his face and held it. He just shook his head at her, before laying it down on his arms on the counter again. She knew he thought they all hated him right now, and they didn't. None of them did, she was sure of it. Convincing him of that tonight would be hard though. She started to clean up the broken coffee cup from the floor. "Seems like all I do up here lately is clean up broken coffee cups. You guys aren't going to have anything left to drink out of at the rate you're going."
Maureen got up form the couch and filled a glass with water. She set it down somewhat hard on the counter, slopping water over the sides and hitting Roger in the arm. He looked up at her and softly said "thanks" as he reached for the glass.
If looks could kill, he would have been dead on the floor just then. "It's not for you, it's for her." Maureen told him.
"Oh." Was all he said.
Maureen waited a moment for him to do something. Finally she gave an annoyed sigh. "Well take it in there you big idiot! God are all straight guys as stupid as you two?"
Roger just looked at her for a second before he picked it up and walked into their room, closing the door behind him.
Jen stood there, with her arms crossed and watched him walk into the bedroom. After the door closed she simply said "yes."
"Yes what?" Jason asked, confused.
"Yes all straight guys are as stupid as those two." She sighed. "Unfortunately, few are as nice too."
"Poor Cass." Joanne said sadly. "She's really been through hell."
"Yeah and now she lives with those two idiots." Maureen said sarcastically.
"You lived with those two idiots." Collins pointed out. "Remember?"
"Yeah, yeah I remember." Maureen waved him off, flopping on the couch next to Joanne and leaning into her. "Do you think Mark's okay?"
"Would you be if the person you basically worshipped and idolized just told you to fuck off?" Jen asked from the kitchen.
"Mark will be okay. Eventually." Jason sighed.
The door opened and everyone's head spun towards it, hoping it was Mark, but it was only Ginny and Leslie with the dog. "Anything happen?" Ginny asked. "We hear form Mark yet?"
"No!" Maureen told her.
"Where do you think he went?" Leslie asked Collins.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Movies? Bar maybe. I mean we're all here so it's not like he could go to any of our places."
"But he might eventually." Joanne said. "Maybe we should go home just in case. I mean I really don't see him coming back here tonight."
"That's true. Going home might be a good idea. But do you think leaving those two alone is a good idea." Jen asked, pointing towards the bedroom.
Collins stood up and walked to the kitchen, taking a beer from the fridge. "I'll stay here."
Maureen looked up at Joanne. "Pookie would you mind if I stayed here awhile with Collins? I know you cancelled your trip and all, I'm just worried about Mark and Cass. And idiot boy too I guess. Would you mind?" She asked meekly.
Joanne let out a small sigh. She had always known there was some strange bond between Maureen and Mark, Roger and Collins. She could understand Maureen wanting to stay. Besides, if Maureen went home with her now, they wouldn't talk anyway. Maureen would be two busy stewing over Mark, Roger and Cass. "No, it's okay. I'm gonna go home and try and get some stuff done so I'll be done early tomorrow then."
**********
The lights were off in the bedroom, but there was enough light coming in from the street to see. Cass was lying on the bed facing the wall. She didn't move when he came in and sat on the edge of the bed, setting the glass on the floor.
"Cass?"
She didn't answer him.
"Cass? Baby please talk to me. Please." He begged, lying back on the bed.
"We were going to the hospital." She said into the pillow.
"What?"
"Paulie was taking me to the hospital. When we hit the pole."
"Oh." He rolled over next to her and carefully put an arm around her, hoping she wouldn't push him away. She just lay there.
"He was really messed up and he hit the pole. We had been doing serious lines and, and I didn't know Mark knew all that stuff. He was taking me to the hospital. I was having a miscarriage and we were so messed up. Paulie was freaking out and I was so messed up I couldn't even move." She started crying again. "God Roger, I'm so sorry. I was so messed up back then. But I couldn't get an abortion. I just couldn't."
"Shhh. It's okay Baby." He pulled her close. "It doesn't matter now."
"I just couldn't. And we were already doing so many lines and were so messed up when I found out. I figured what was a few more? And the more I did, the less of a problem all that other stuff was. And it just seemed like the whole baby thing would just go away."
"You don't have to explain anything to me Cass. Especially about being messed up."
"But I couldn't get one and I just figured I'd lose it if I did enough coke. That was the plan. Do enough coke and it would go away. Then it wouldn't be an abortion. I wouldn't have murdered it." She couldn't stop crying as she spoke.
"It's okay Cass. I know Baby." He kept stroking her hair hoping she would stop crying.
"We were so messed up Roger. I was so messed up. I didn't mean it."
"It's okay Baby. Nobody's gonna understand that better than me." He whispered into her hair. "Really. It's okay."
All of a sudden Cass sat up and looked at him. "I didn't know Mark knew all that Roger, I didn't know, really. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Roger pulled her back down to him on the bed. "For what Baby, you didn't do anything to be sorry for." She started crying hard again. "Oh god I did. I didn't know Mark knew all that. He knew I was pregnant and he knew about the car accident, but I didn't know he knew the rest. I sent him that tape for his birthday, and we got into the car accident a few days after I sent it. I didn't know Mark knew all that. I didn't know that was on the tape. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."
"What Baby? Nothing is your fault. Nothing."
"Yes it is. Mark hates you now. You hate Mark. You both should hate me. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."
"Shhh Cass. It's okay. Nobody hates you. Especially me. Or Mark."
"Right. I'm only the person that destroyed a life long friendship now that you and Mark hate each other."
Roger rolled back onto his back and let out a long sigh. "I don't hate Mark. I was just really pissed at him at the moment. Besides, it's Mark. How can anybody hate Mark? We'll be okay. Don't worry, okay Baby? Please?" Roger realized he meant it too. How can you hate Mark? Sure he can be annoying beyond belief sometimes, but he knew, no matter what happened he could never hate Mark. It would take more than this. And it would have to be something out of spite and malice. Roger knew that wasn't Mark. Mark could never do that. Ever. He may not always do what he does the right way, but it's always with the best intentions. Like tonight. Because Mark really does care about what happens to Cass. And to him.
"And Mark will get over it too. Don't worry about us. I'll talk to him and we'll be fine. And nobody hates you either. Mark doesn't hate you. You know how he is. Right now he's hating himself for yelling at you. I can promise you that."
"But what about you?" She asked him hesitantly.
Roger rolled onto his side right next to her. "What?" He asked in amazement. When he looked her right in the eye, she tried to turn her head away. He touched her chin and tilted her face back towards him. "Cass I love you. I really do. Even if Mark never spoke to me again, it wouldn't change that. Okay? Nothing will change that. Not this morning, or tonight, or whatever happens tomorrow. I'll still love you. No matter what happens. No matter what you want to do. Okay?" Roger wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head on her chest.
Cass' arms went around his back as she took another heaving breath. "You have no idea how much that means to me." They lay there, in the dark in silence like that for awhile longer when the bedroom door opened and Collins stuck his head in.
"Roger, Izzy's on the phone. He needs to talk to you."
"Tell him I'm busy. I'll call him tomorrow."
"I did. He says it's important. Real important. He won't tell me anything. Says he needs to talk to you. Now."
"Okay, tell him to give me a minute." Collins nodded and closed the door. "I gotta talk to Izzy. Maybe he's seen Mark. I'll be right back."
Roger got up from the bed and walked out to the phone on the counter. Collins was standing by the phone. Maureen, the only other person in the room, was right behind him, arms crossed over her chest glaring at Roger as he walked to the phone.
"What?" Roger said, sounding more annoyed then he meant as he lit a cigarette.
"Davis what the hell is going on? Are you okay?"
Roger was surprised at the sound of concern in Izzy's voice. "Um, yeah. Why?"
"Then why is camera boy almost passed out on my bar, mumbling about how he doesn't give a fuck what you two do?"
"He's there now?" Roger asked anxiously.
"Yeah he's here. He's not going anywhere fast. Believe me."
"Keep him there. Don't let him leave Iz. I'm on my way." Roger crushed out the newly lit cigarette as he hung up the phone. "I gotta go get Mark. Will you stay here with Cass Mo?"
"Is he alright?" She asked.
"I don't know. I guess. I'll find out when I get there." Roger went back into the bedroom.
Cass sat up when he came into the room. "Is it Mark? Is he okay?"
Roger knelt on the floor next to her. "Yeah, he's at the Iguana. Izzy's gonna keep him there. I'm gonna go get him right know. Are you gonna be okay here with Maureen and Collins? Everybody else left I guess."
"I want to go with you." She said getting up.
"No stay here. Please. I need to do this by myself. Besides, it sounds like I'll be carrying him home anyway."
"Okay." She said somewhat hesitantly. "If you're sure. I'll be okay. Just hurry up and bring him home."
He grabbed her and hugged her close. "Okay. Mo's here. I'll be back soon. It's gonna be okay Cass. I love you Baby."
"I love you too." She whispered into his ear, hugging him tight.
"I gotta go." Roger told her, pulling back and kissing her on the forehead. She nodded as they broke apart and he went out the door.
Collins was standing by the door waiting for him, holding his cigarettes and lighter. "Let's go. I'm going with you."
Roger was about to argue with him, but changed his mind. He nodded as he took his cigarettes and walked out the loft door.