Ideal x Answer

by LookItsADoggy

The man once named "EMIYA" realises something in the ruins of Einzbern Castle. No matter the people they meet, the place they're born, or the shape of their body, Emiya Shirou will always arrive at the same answer, the same conclusion; at Unlimited Blade Works. It is a female Shirou who proves the worth of Kiritsugu's ideals to Archer, and is left to wander the Moonlit World.

8. Act 0 Chapter 7 - Glass And Path

I've successfully calmed down from my manic bout of inspiration after writing this, so we're probably slowing down a bit from here. Which is good, I think this chapter is a pretty good reset point.

Anyways, the Rin Arc is now officially underway.

Compared to the first half of Act Zero, this back half is a lot more quiet and personal. Aside from this very first scene wrapping up the events of the last arc, the cast is gonna shrink a lot, and it's basically just all Shirou and her personal journey at this point on. We've done all the setup for Act One and the rest of the story we need to, now its time for the meat.

Writing this specific sentence after finishing this chapter, I'm… really in love with this chapter. It's a very, very slow chapter, even compared to the ones before it, but I just really, really love it. I hope it lives up to your expectations.

This chapter serves as a soft reset button for the story, so expect it to be… well, different.

That's all. See you at the bottom.

Anyways, you clicked on this to read something, so here it is I guess.

---

Loud shouting and music could be heard from inside of a bar, as was to be expected.

People were partying, drinking, arguing with each other, flirting, and generally just creating a large mess, smothering the entire area in a blanket of noise, bodies and flashing lights.

"Err, Griselda, mind passing me that manual again?" A handsome young man with smooth black hair that drifted down his shoulders in spikes furrowed his eyebrows, fiddling with the bizarre, indescribable contraption in his hands.

"Gimme a sec." A blonde-haired, golden-eyed woman with a stern, almost bored, expression rummaged carelessly through her nun habit.

"Here, Diethelm." She casually pulled out an extremely crumpled bundle of papers.

"…" Diethelm gave the papers a horrified look, before giving Griselda a dead stare. "Please never keep precious documents on your person again. These blueprints are from Heaven itself… did you carry these around 24/7? W-were they on you during that big battle…"

He couldn't even pose that last statement as a question, listlessly trailing off as some part of him already knew the answer.

…In a way, the rowdy atmosphere of the bar, that made it impossible for one to properly track any one individual conversation or group of people, and the general drunken insanity and nonsense that was the usual around here, made it the perfect place for people to discuss things they wanted to be low-key about.

It wasn't uncommon for people from their part of the world to just blurt out secrets under the cover of the rave music and loud screaming that constantly shrouded these kinds of buildings.

"Hoh?" A fearsome emerald-eyed woman with wild hair leaned backwards on her couch. "Is that one of Heaven's fabled instruments? Definitely looks a lot more modern than I was expecting."

She nodded to herself about something or other, bending forward to grab a mug that was frothing off the top, before chugging all of its contents down in less than two seconds.

…The food and drink definitely also played a part in their choice of venue for their debriefing.

"Can't be that hard, can it?" A blue-haired woman lazily cut through a steak with the fork and knife in her hands, not really paying attention to what was going on around her. "Just turn it off and on again, or whatever."

"Oi." Diethelm's eyebrow twitched. "Just… gimme a sec. I think I got it."

The black glass screen on the contraption suddenly flashed with light, making him jump back with a tiny bit of fright.

"Ah, there we go!"

He let out a large sigh of relief, plopping the odd device onto the table and pushing it towards the centre, letting all seven occupants of the small lounge booth to get a good view of it.

Some odd magical equivalent of static danced around on the display.

"A-hmm… Is th-… hin-… on?"

A murky voice muttered from the other side of the transmission. Even with the loud buzzing of static and the corruption of data, the voice still seemed to be perfectly harmonic and smooth in the ears of those who heard it.

"Le-… st tun-… uenc-…"

The static slowly faded as the other party fiddled around with their own device, revealing a beautiful background of a picturesque castle garden, with bright green grass and vivid flora being illuminated by a background of pure white light and a blanket of soft clouds.

"Ah, there we are."

The man on the other side nodded to himself sternly.

Two figures sat side by side, and despite the fact their posture was completely different from the other, their facial structures had no similarities, and even the shape and colour of their eyes and hair were different, everyone at the table could not help but think the two were something akin to two extremely close siblings.

"Oh, it's so good to see you all again!" The melodic voice noticeably brightened in tone as soon as the image cleared, filled with mirth as the figure laid her wide eyes upon the group.

An utterly perfect, beautiful woman with luscious honey blonde hair gave a cheery smile that was almost blinding with how innocent it was. Her sparkling and lustrous blue eyes, filled with speckles and flickers of prismatic, opalescent light, shining like perfect diamonds, widened with joy.

"…I see you have an extra companion with you, this time." The stern male voice shifted his eyes towards the woman with a feral smirk.

His figure was one that would not be out of place when stood next to the sculptures and paintings of Ancient Greek and Roman heroes and gods. To match the image of that ancient idea of perfect masculinity, a simple white toga was all he wore.

He raised a hand up to his head, flicking his golden locks that bordered on orange out of the way. A large streak of solid, fiery red ran downwards from the centre of his scalp.

"Who might you be, young lady?" He frowned, regarding the unexpected addition to the meeting with wary grey eyes.

"Yo." The woman in question gave them a lazy salute. "You two would be Archangels Gabriel and Uriel, right? Name's Mordred Pendragon. I'm their benefactor, and Shishigou's reverse side contact. Got wrapped up in these numbskulls' shenanigans and I'm probably here to stay, since it doesn't look like this'll be a onetime thing."

She shrugged.

"Honestly, was expecting a bunch of these idiots to die while they were in the Underworld or something. Surprised they all came back intact, well, physically, anyways."

The man, Uriel, frowned.

"Pendragon… you're from that family?" He muttered, slightly concerned about some of the things that had cropped up over the centuries.

"Ah, if you're worried about me resenting Heaven after that incident or think I'm after something else, don't worry." Mordred smirked, proud to herself about something she wasn't sharing. "I'm a bastard child. Cursed as well, maybe, probably, who knows. The old fucks certainly think I am."

Uriel frowned at her language, his eyes quickly flicking towards his sister in concern.

"Anyways, point is, bastards hate me, and the feelings mutual. I'd do anything to spite on their legacy and plans, and joining up with Heaven and their goons certainly fits that bill. Sides, I owe quite a bit to and respect one of these idiots here, so I have personal reasons to not have any animosity as well."

Uriel frowned, taking in the information.

"I see. I… apologise for my suspicions. It's nothing personal, madam. It's just that as the Chief of Security for the Heavenly Host, I must remain professional and vigilant at all times, lest any threats sneak past our eyes and ears."

"Nah, it's fine." Mordred waved them off. "I get it. I'd be suspicious of that family too. Only the Lord knows how much blood they have on their hands."

"Indeed." Uriel agreed solemnly.

"Ahem." Ciel coughed into her hands, setting aside her plate. "If that's all out of the way, now… let's get onto business."

Her blue eyes flashed with a serious glint.

…

"""""""Cheers!"""""""

Seven mugs collided with one another over the table, bits of liquor spilling over their edges and hitting the table beneath them.

"Aah…" Kairi melted into the couch with a satisfied grin. "That definitely hits the spot. Can finally relax after ten whole months of this mess. That whole ordeal lasted way too long for my tastes. Last time I was this wound up, it was what… Romania, right?"

"Yup." Mordred busted out in boisterous laughter. "Can't say shit about what you've all been doing since I was only with there on the last leg of the journey, but nothing in the Reverse Side is something you can just casually walk into."

"So, everything went well, I assume?" Gabriel smiled, clapping her hands and clasping her fingers together.

"Mm." Ciel let herself relax, the harsh persona she was keeping up for the past… year, it had been, looking back on it… fall, if only slightly.

"The mission to the Underworld was a complete success." She reported to the two who were, for now, her superiors.

"Do you two need the full report now or later?" She quirked an eyebrow at the two Seraphs.

"Please, keep it brief for now. We can work out how to write and deliver reports to Heaven later."

"Alright. First rumour was pretty cut and dry. There did end up being a Fallen Angel keeping their ears to the ground for defectors from the Vatican, and it seems pretty likely from what we know that he was indeed planning on snatching Valper away and using him to incite a second Great War. Don't have to worry about that anymore, he's been taken care of."

"Can you say for certain that this is a permanent solution? That one will not rise to take his place and repeat this incident again?" Uriel frowned, skeptical and worried.

"Yep." Ciel nodded.

Something splashed in front of her.

Her eyes briefly flicked to the side.

Griselda and Bazett were getting rowdy again, as always.

Mirana looked at the tussling women in concern, hesitant on touching her beer as she and Diethelm were probably the only decent Christians among them, and was actually trying to abstain from alcohol.

"That goes back to the second rumour." Ciel turned her eyes back to the screen. "Root of the rumour came from Azazel's inept leadership."

Uriel grunted.

"Mm. I expected that to be the case."

Gabriel frowned, admonishing her brother with her gaze.

"Uriel."

The man sighed.

"I mean no disrespect towards Brother Azazel, but I have been worried about his state since the last I saw of him in the Great War… after that man fell in battle, none of the Fallen Angel Faction was quite the same afterwards… Azazel, even before that incident, was always in a rocky position amongst his people."

"…" Gabriel bit her lip, looking away, unable to refute Uriel's concerns.

"You won't have to worry about that anymore." Ciel shook her head. "Azazel finally sucked it up and is taking charge of his people. There was a large mess and uproar, but basically, Azazel's whipping the Grigori into shape, and all potential dissidents are being rooted out. And Kokabiel, the person at the rumour's centre, stands firmly on his side. We don't have to worry about an insurrection or anything, although…"

Uriel sighed.

"Complications, I assume?"

"Something like that." Ciel frowned. "A civil war broke out amongst the Grigori. Our mission turned into defending him for the opening battle as his people split and either rallied to his side or rallied against him. The first day ended with him successfully holding down the Grigori Headquarters, but there's no way to tell how the battle is currently going."

"I see." Uriel nodded. "I'll try my best to see if we have any way of keeping our eyes on the Underworld. It would not do for both the Heavenly Host and the world at large if we were unable to monitor events in that part of the world."

"Mm." Ciel looked down. "As long as Azazel comes out victorious, this incident should be contained. Civil war inside a major faction of the Reverse Side isn't the ideal outcome, but there should be a near-zero chance this escalates into an all-out global war, unless we receive news of Azazel's assassin-"

Her phone started ringing.

Ciel sighed.

Now?

"Sorry, one moment." She smiled apologetically towards the two angels, who showed their understanding.

She pulled out her phone and swiped without looking at the caller's number, holding the device up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Yo, can you hear me?"

Huh?

Ciel blinked.

"Azazel?"

The mention of that peron's name made Gabriel visibly lean forward, her face brightening.

"Yep." The man on the phone chuckled.

…The background seemed to be peaceful and quiet, so it seemed to be going well?

"Logged myself into all of your contacts when I modified your phones, remember? Anyways, What are you doing right now?"

"Err…" Ciel made an odd expression filled with chagrin, conflicted with how she should respond.

…Was it really okay for him to know who they were talking to right now?

"Debriefing my team and celebrating." She chose the simple answer.

"Really? Sweet! That makes things simpler."

"Excuse me, Ciel…" Gabriel pushed her face into the screen, as if that would somehow put her physically closer towards the phone in Ciel's hand. "I-is that Brother Azazel's voice I hear on the phone?"

"…Woah, wait wait wait…" Azazel audibly shook his head in disbelief, recognising that distant murmuring instantly. There was only one person in the entire world who had a voice so clear and beautiful it remained unmarred even when filtered through two separate calls. "I-is that Gabriel you have there!?"

"Ah." Ciel made a sour face.

Crap.

"Oh, dear Father!" Gabriel gasped in glee. "It really is you, Azazel!"

…It certainly didn't seem like she minded.

"Hey, uh, Ciel, right? Do you mind putting me on video?"

…It certainly didn't seem like he minded either.

Ciel and Uriel simultaneously sighed and made aggrieved faces at the boneheaded antics of the two.

The Executor relented, clicking something on the phone's pad and holding the small screen up to the other device.

"Oh my! Brother Azazel! You look just as I remember! Fine as always, confident and smirking… It's good to see you in good health, brother."

The woman smiled affectionately, looking like she was reunited with a long-lost favourite cousin after not having been in contact for decades.

…Probably because that was exactly what was happening right now.

"Yup. Better than I've ever been. And you look just as beautiful as always, sis."

Uriel narrowed his eyes in suspicion, his hand pulling his sister back from sticking her face into the screen, hovering over her protectively.

"Watch your tongue, Azazel."

The fallen angel's eyes bugged out in response, almost falling out of his chair. "Woah, woah, woah! I swear on Father I'm not hitting on her. It's just nice to see her again as she was in my memories. I would never flirt with Gabriel, that's just… like… weird. It'd be like hitting on my older sister. Sorry, I might watch that kind of stuff, but I ain't gonna participate in it."

"…" Uriel scowled at Azazel's words.

Gabriel just giggled.

"Anyways, good to see you two again after so long… and I'm glad we can do it peacefully, without any hatred or enmity between us… Lord knows that's the absolute last thing I need after our last mess."

Ciel could hear him crumbling into his seat, sighing and relaxing.

"…You too." Uriel turned away with a sour face, begrudgingly acknowledging the fallen angel.

Gabriel just smiled softly.

"So, Ciel, mind turning me around and setting me next to these two? Got a few things I wanna say and share with all of you, if I don't mind."

Ciel went along with his request, placing the phone on the table and giving him a wide view of their team.

"…Is that Griselda Quarta I see over in the corner, scuffling with that Irish woman over… uh… food?" Azazel deadpanned. "Never meet your idols, I guess."

Ciel coughed.

"Right, right, sorry."

He shook his head, looking straight into the camera again.

The entrance of a new presence in their debriefing managed to get everyone to sit up straight – even Griselda and Bazett – for just a second, gathering around the table and reintroducing themselves, with Mordred meeting and greeting Azazel for the first time.

"Anyways, first, I wanted to just commend you all on your job." Azazel lounged back in his seat. "Really, I can't thank you all enough. Aside from that… one incident, you all performed phenomenally. If things didn't go as cleanly as they did, if Mastema wasn't immediately dealt with and the mountain successfully defended, we would all be in a pretty bad position right now."

"That so?" Ciel arched an eyebrow.

"Yup. If Mastema was really planning on inciting a war and fighting me at one point, I probably would have been screwed. I wouldn't have been able to put up anything remotely resembling a fight against Mastema's full power with the emotional state I was in."

"Thank Kokabiel for that." Ciel shook her head, not wanting to receive misplaced gratitude. "We just handled the others."

"Huh?" Azazel blinked.

"That's… strange…" Azazel frowned. "He… he hasn't mentioned anything about that battle, so I assumed you all took equal part. Odd."

He shook it off. He was sure Kokabiel had his reasons for not talking about it.

"Anyways, if we lost the mountain, they would have gained access to all my terrible weapons of war that brought devastation and ruin in the Great War. If they got their hands on that, casualties would probably rise to the double digits in percentage of our overall numbers."

"No problem!" Griselda called out from somewhere to the right, below the table, wrestling Bazett to the ground.

Kairi just gave him a thumbs up with a big smirk.

Diethelm just smiled tiredly. "I'll pass on your thanks to Orphan."

Azazel nodded.

"Anyways, second thing. Just a quick report. Civil war's mostly over by this point. It'll go down in history as one of the most decisive and quick battles ever."

Uriel, on the other screen, let out a large sigh of relief, his shoulders visibly dropping.

"That is indeed good news, Azazel. It seems we have one less threat to this peace of ours."

"Yup." Azazel chuckled awkwardly. "Momentum in warfare is a big deal, as it turns out. Winning that first battle mattered a ton. Doesn't hurt that we have Kokabiel, the shining figure that most of our people, even the opposition, look up to, on our side. Grigori's mostly under my control now, and we're working towards stabilising and restructuring ourselves."

He coughed into his hand.

"Anyways, that brings me to the final thing I wanted to talk about." His voice became quite a bit more serious, though it was nothing too heavy. "Though…"

His eyes looked to the side, mostly for the benefit of their group. While he would see nothing but his own window, curtains and walls, their team would see his eyes pointed towards the screen with the two angels.

"Kind of awkward with them in the room. I was not expecting you to have other benefactors helping you on your mission… this last thing sort of banks on me being the only one, so, uhh…"

"Oh, no, no, it's fine." Gabriel waved her hands in front of her, trying to comfort Azazel, despite her not being able to see him and him not being able to see her. "You can go ahead, Brother Azazel. We won't open our mouths about whatever your about to ask, as long as it's not anything bad, and our own business can always be conducted later."

"…" Uriel just silently nodded at Ciel, telling her to give Azazel the go ahead.

"Oh, good, good." Azazel smiled in relief. "Right, so I was wondering… you guys… this is a long term thing, right? Like, you're all staying together and going on more missions to the Reverse Side when needed?"

"That's what'll be happening, yes." Ciel confirmed.

"Good, good." Azazel smirked. "Then, I assume you'll need someone with their ears open in the Reverse Side, feeding you rumours and missions. I also assume you'll need someone willing to provide you with all of the necessary equipment, infrastructure, and payment as well."

"…" Ciel narrowed her eyes, having an inkling of a suspicion on where this was going.

"How about this? I'll be your team's manager. I got all of things you could ever need. I'll employ all of you myself as an independent taskforce dedicated to keeping the peace of the Reverse Side."

Gabriel gasped.

"Oh my! We were just about to ask the same thing!"

Uriel groaned.

Really, he should have been able to foresee this coming from the moment Azazel started complimenting their work.

"In Father's name, damn it." He scowled bitterly.

"Hm?" Azazel frowned. "Yo, Uriel, you okay, what's wrong?"

"How in Heaven are we supposed to match your offer!?" Uriel bemoaned. "I was banking on being able to secure these brave men and women for our own efforts, as Heaven's independent taskforce dedicated to keeping the peace, but… we don't have anywhere near as much to offer as you… Heaven is only barely beginning to mobilise. We don't have contacts, we don't have any material wealth to offer as payment, we can barely provide any proper support."

He sighed bitterly.

"I should have been faster on the draw, damn it."

"U-Uriel…" Gabriel frowned, placing a hand on her brother's shoulder, wanting to comfort him, but not quite knowing how.

"I should have just went for it the moment you showed your face. Now… it's too late, Heaven is going to lose a valuable asset in the upcoming era."

"…Err…" Azazel awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, this was… this was what I was a bit worried about. Sorry, Uriel…"

Griselda grunted, popping her head out from underneath the table.

"What's the big deal, I don't see the issue."

"Well-"

Before Uriel could explain, Griselda opened her mouth, dropping a large bombshell into the verbal battlefield.

"We'll just accept both of you as our employers, managers, contractors or whatever you guys want to call yourselves. Whatever."

Gabriel gasped, her face lighting up with a brilliant smile.

"Yes, Griselda! That is a most brilliant and wonderful idea!"

"B-bu… huh?" Uriel reeled back, flabbergasted at the suggestion.

Azazel just raised a curious eyebrow, waiting for her explanation.

"We're an 'independent taskforce' or something, right? That means we don't really belong to any faction in particular. That also means we work for the benefit of everyone as well, or something to that degree. If our goal is unconditional peace, then shouldn't we be taking on jobs from all factions as a sign of trust, impartiality, and acceptance? Or whatever. I don't know."

Azazel busted out in laughter.

"Mm! Mm!" Gabriel nodded vigorously in accordance to her new friend's suggestions. "We can all get along and share! There's no need to fight over this, Uriel."

She excitedly tugged on her brother's arms, shaking him all over the place, disorienting him.

"Everyone can have what they want this way, it's brilliant!"

"O-oi! G-Gabriel, calm down! Let me go!"

Uriel seemed to be unable to get himself out of his sister's grip.

Gabriel laughed wonderfully.

"Yes! Let's do it! We can all work together on this!"

Azazel calmed down, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

"A collaborative effort from two separate factions, utilising human agents to work towards peacekeeping. That's one hell of a trailblazing idea you got there, Quarta. Sure! I'm down for it! The Grigori, the Heavenly Host, the Clock Tower, Burial Agency and Three Churches all working together on their first collaborative project!"

Uriel let out a massive sigh.

Then a small chuckle.

A truly relieved smile broke out on his face.

"It seems you have exceeded our expectations again, Team Fogwalker, and you in particular, Lady Quarta."

"Eh. It's nothing." Griselda quickly turned to face Bazett, still struggling against her grip, and dived below the table again.

She apparently had her priorities figured out. Impressive woman, that one.

"I suppose this is the best of both worlds." Uriel continued. "Heaven will not lose its hold on such valuable assets, and an astounding first step has been made at bridging the gap between long lost brothers and sisters… I am truly glad we do not have to divide ourselves over this matter and hold grudges against one another."

"This calls for celebration, doesn't it?" Azazel bent down, opening some drawer hidden beneath his desk. "You guys are at a bar, right? Why don't you order a round of drinks, it's on me."

"Ah!" Gabriel clapped her hands together, standing up. "I have some tea brewing! Let me bring the kettle here!"

""""""""""Cheers!""""""""""

Team Fogwalker, Gabriel and Uriel, Azazel and Mordred Pendragon VIII gathered together in a bar, celebrating the first coming together of the Reverse Side and Moonlit World.

…

However, one person remained absent.

The last member of Team Fogwalker could not be found anywhere near that bar, and was entirely unaware of the festivity occurring inside that small, crowded booth.

---

KNOCK KNOCK

The sun shone over London, the sky a wonderful light and airy blue. Its soft golden rays beamed gently through the windows of a quaint apartment.

A woman groaned, pulling a small, weathered journal away from her sleeping face. The waking woman brushed her long black hair away from her face, cracking open a tired sparkling blue eye.

The woman sighed, looking out the window to judge the time of day. The sun's soft rays touched down lightly upon her smooth, fair skin.

Rin woke up from her mid-day nap, again.

She'd been having a lot of those these days. That apprenticeship was a massive pain in the ass, but she should have figured it would be that way.

She was a student in one of the Five True Sorceries, for Christ's sake. Those techniques didn't exactly earn their title and pedigree by being simple to learn.

Hope fluttered in her heart as the knock registered in Rin's ears.

A smile bloomed on her face.

That-…

That had to be her, didn't it?

Thank God… she came back alive.

A thousand thoughts coursed through her mind as she approached the door.

She had so much she wanted to tell her.

She wanted to tell her about how glad she was that she had managed to stick to her promise.

She wanted to hold her hand and comfort her, knowing that she had almost undoubtedly suffered great pain during her mission.

She was going to drag her out and celebrate by going to a bakery and buying cheesec-

"…"

Nothing could prepare Rin for what she saw when she opened the door.

A broken woman, who stood lifelessly outside the front door, her head bowed low, like a puppet whose strings were cut, left out to hang alone. An ominous, dreary shadow was cast over her face, originating from the brittle, unkempt red hair that lack any warmth or vibrancy, seeming dull and almost grey.

She was pale, deathly so. Her clothes messy, put on haphazardly, mish-mashing and clashing with no real sense of fashion, like she had just picked them out of the closet blind.

Her low head raised itself as she heard Rin open the door.

Her eyes were utterly dead. The gold in them seemed to rust and erode away, pure darkness creeping into the holes.

"…"

Rin could feel her heart strain, sorrow threatening to pull it apart.

She wordlessly approached her best friend, hugging her tightly and pulling her head into her shoulder.

The tears broke out.

The heart of glass inside her chest shattered, crumbling to the floor in a million pieces.

Emiya Shirou cried.

---

"Ideal" x "Answer"

Act Zero – "Journey" x "Belonging"

Chapter 7 – "Glass" | And | "Path"

---

One Year and Four Months since the move to London

A sorrowful wail rung throughout the quiet neighbourhood.

Its hollow ringing, like fragile steel, was ugly.

"…" Rin gripped her friend tightly, bringing her even closer to her chest.

There was no warmth inside that body. It was cold and uninviting, like abandoned steel.

There was no softness in it either. If she closed her eyes, she would almost not believe it to be human skin that she was touching.

Her fingers dug into Shirou's clothes.

Her heart felt as if it was coming apart. Indescribable sadness thrummed inside, carried through her veins and pumped out to every corner of her body.

It pained her that her friend was in such a sorry state, breaking her heart to see her eyes so empty, her body and mind hollowed and hardened like steel.

It pained her because she knew that in some way, shape or form, she was the reason her friend was like this. She knew from the very moment she spoke those words on the day Shirou brought Isaiah home, what her words would do.

But she knew that no matter how much pain she was in, Shirou was in far, far more.

And that broke her heart the most of all.

She looked towards the sky, cradling Shirou's sobbing head into her shoulder.

"R-Ri-…Ri-…" Her voice cracked and splintered, like a tool finally succumbing to the rust that came with rot of time.

"Hush." Rin brought her hand up to the back of Shirou's head, burying it deeper into her shoulder.

"For now, just let it out."

The tear stains soaked her shirt, the wet patch of fabric weighing her down, dragging her heart through the floor.

Words did not need to be said between them. At least, not for now.

Rin stood there for minutes, and what felt like hours, bearing the full brunt of Shirou's painful weeping.

She was the person who brought this conclusion into fruition, this was the least she could do for her.

She would not be somewhere else when her friend was letting everything out.

She looked to the sky above, her sombre gaze settling on the calm sky above.

Its brightness seemed distasteful in that very moment, its stillness and its carefree nature almost insulting.

The golden rays that gently streamed down, beaming through the light and fluffy clouds, which had once felt so warm and inviting, all seemed to fade away.

The only thing that filled her senses was the cold, lifeless body in her arms, and the shrieking wails that came from the fine machinery that made up its soul breaking apart.

–I did this.

She could not run away from this moment. She had to face the responsibility.

–Shirou, I'm sorry.

Her heart started to ache once more.

–I'm sorry that I can't regret this. I won't regret it.

No matter how much sorrow you feel right now,
No matter how much you might hate me for those words in the future…

I won't ever turn my back on that decision.

I made the right call.

I made the only call.

And I'm sorry that it led to this.

She didn't do it because it was what Shirou wanted, or even what Shirou needed.

She didn't do it out of some sense of duty or obligation towards the knight in red who plagued her dreams, who once stood by her side.

She didn't do it for the sake of that boy, that boy whose ideal twisted him into a man who was bitter and hateful.

It wasn't even because of the promise that she swore to him.

–"Yeah, I know. I'll do my best. I'll do my best so that she won't get twisted like you. I'll do my best so that she will be able to like herself…!"

She did it only for herself, for Tohsaka Rin. She didn't care if she was going to end up pulling Shirou away from her path, from her ideal; she saw a glimmer of hope, a chance to pull Shirou away from that stupid, hollow end that came with her ideal, and the moment she saw that vulnerability, she threw everything aside and ran for it.

She just didn't want the girl in front of her to disappear in front of her very eyes, dying without ever having made a difference.

Rin didn't want that girl, closer than a friend, and in some ways, closer than a lover, to give her life up for something she didn't even understand.

She had already lost one person – that boy twisted by his ideal – to that dream, she wouldn't ever let go of the second.

To keep that girl by her side, to see her live, to see her smile… she'd do anything, give up everything, and damn everyone around her to death for even just the tiniest chance to see that become a reality.

Minutes went by.

The tears and wails – which felt as if they were without end – stopped after an eternity had passed, after that machine's oiled joints slipped and fell apart.

The weight on Rin's shoulder seemed to lift, if only just a little bit.

Slowly, very slowly, she pulled her arms away from Shirou's back and head, and pushed her away.

Rin took three steps back, the clack of her shoes echoing throughout the quiet street.

She took a quiet glance at Shirou's teary face.

Her lips were still wrenched downwards, pulled against their will by forces of sorrow and regret. Her cheeks were still hollow and lightly sunken. Her eyes, blackened, were now reddened by tears.

"R-Rin… I-…" The words still struggled to form.

"…"

Rin looked down, biting her lip.

"Let's not do this out here."

She sighed heavily, her eyebrows lowering, wrinkling with discomfort.

She looked around them.

Of all the days, why did it have to be this one? One of the very, very last days of winter, where the spring sun started to shine through…

Could it not have been harsh and windy, the cold gusts feeling like bites on her skin?

Why could it not have been snowing? At least then, the blank of frost would have numbed the dull aching caused by her feelings.

She moved her hand forward, lightly grabbing onto Shirou's limp wrist.

"This bright, shining day, piercing through the end of a gloomy winter, like a glimmer of hope sent by spring itself… this isn't the place to have this depressing talk."

Rin tugged Shirou towards her, towards their apartment, their home, beckoning her inside.

"Let's go somewhere that suits this, that suits us… better."

She turned on her heel, still looking at Shirou out of the corner of her eyes.

"Let's go home, Shirou."

…

–"Let's go home, Shirou."

The words reverberated in Shirou's mind.

She looked up gloomily, subconsciously following along with Rin's words.

She looked up at the apartment building in front of them.

There was nothing special about it.

Its walls and windows were nothing special. If one peered inside the door they would an inside of polished wooden staircases and standard wallpaper.

Both its interior and exterior had no unique qualities to them.

And yet–

–Home.

She trembled.

Something inside of her creaked.

–I'm going home.

A guttural noise threatened to leap out of her throat at any moment. She didn't know what was keeping it down.

Her legs shivered, the nerves inside of them feeling like they were shrivelling up and being severed from her body.

She took that first clumsy, heavy step forward.

–Home.

Shirou looked at the person in front of her.

The shadow, the silhouette. She traced its outline.

Her friend. Tohsaka Rin.

–A reason to come home.

Her fingers twitched. Her arm wanted to raise itself, reaching towards that person's back.

She wanted to chase after that figure, she yearned to be by that person's side–

–Emiya Shirou was not alone.

"…"

…

–"You will die the same way you lived. As a foolish machine."

She paused.

A second step never came.

She could not bring herself to do it.

Rin, hearing the silence behind her, turned around, standing inside the doorframe of the apartment entrance.

Shirou's lips wavered.

–D-do I…
Does Emiya Shirou…

Can Emiya Shirou, this hollow, useless machine…

C-can she really reach for this? Can she really hold it, and claim it as her own?

Begging her friend for an answer to a question she didn't really know, Shirou felt her vision go blurry, the tears welling up in her eyes once more.

–Do I really deserve this?

Rin, as if she could hear all of her unspoken thoughts, smiled, receiving her concerns with wide arms.

A soft, gentle, understanding expression.

A welcoming expression.

A single metre of distance separated the two friends, that small void between them feeling an entire grand canyon unto itself.

–Can I really reach for it?

Can I really live?

Rin, the only one who stood by her side, lifted her arm, reaching forward.

She extended the limb towards her, crossing half the distance of that infinite gap between them.

"…"

Shirou looked at the palm of that hand.

–So close.

Her right hand quivered.

–So close.

I-I just have to…

I just need to–

She could make it.

She could cross that gap.

Emiya Shirou could still reach for that thing, for life, for happiness, for belonging.

–"You are a fake whose existence was a mistake. You are a human being who was never whole."

"You're just a pathetic shell chasing in the footsteps of a dead man."

Even still, she remained rooted in place.

The steel weighing her down would not allow her to move, shackling that machine with its rotten, vapid chains.

She needed something.

The distorted mind of Emiya Shirou, which had always rejected its own needs, its own wants and desires, could not make that jump alone.

She needed to see something.

She needed to feel something.

A machine could not act of its own accord.

Someone needed to give it the instructions, the fuel.

In the past, that had always been that man's smile and the fire.

For those ten years after the fire, it had always been the dream that the broken man before her held, and the ignorant thought that chasing after what he chased after could bring her to salvation like him.

For those two and a half years after that fateful day in the castle, from where and when she could still hear the sound of clashing swords, it had always been the ideal and the promise she swore to that man.

For those three years, it was just three words that served as that machine's oil.

Those three words had failed her.

–fiamma
emiya shirou

The person that stood in front of that door seemed to have nothing left.

Those three words, alone, which had once pushed her to victory, which had once shattered the desolate future that awaited her – the future that the knight in red currently lived – were not enough.

That set of three words-

–It isn't wrong.

-could carry her no further along the road.

The wheels, the engine, the gears and the axels…

They needed something else.

Shirou stared, lost, at the extended hand, which was offering the tiniest smidgen of salvation.

She could not move. She could not bring herself to accept that glimmer of hope.

Three words.

It was three words that had brought her salvation, three words that brought her victory on that day, and it was three words that had doomed the red-haired girl with golden eyes, marked by flame.

Rin smiled wistfully.

Her gaze softened, the pain and regret inside of her melting away.

Shirou, somehow, sensed something changing in her friend, and her gaze trailed upwards.

She froze, her eyes widening.

A truly angelic expression, like a divine messenger that had descended from the heavens to provide her and her alone with salvation.

Rin thrust her hand out further.

All Shirou had to do was accept it.

Three words.

It was three words that could damn her, and three words that could save her.

…

With a smile, filled with warmth and acceptance, on her soft face, Rin's mouth opened.

"Welcome home, Shirou."

Shirou's arms, that at some point had gone still, trembled once more.

The fingers in her right hand started to shiver and twitch.

An indescribable yearning flooded through the cold steel inside her yearning, pulsing through her bloodstream, carrying some sort of great warmth from her heart to her arm, then to her hand, then to the very tips of her fingers.

Her lips wobbled.

They parted.

They pulled upwards.

The blur in her eyes seemed to fade.

A pure, clear tear fell from her eyes, carrying away some of the murky blackness that had overtaken the gold inside her eyes.

Her elbow bent.

Her shoulder leaned forward.

Her arm raised itself.

Her trembling digits touched the ones of the extended salvation.

A warmth, almost electric, travelled through her.

Shirou let the smile, the yearning, the selfish want to live and be happy, overtake her.

Something inside that hollow machine crumbled away, light – hope – peaking through the gaps in the gears.

On that day, on what should have been one of the last cold, bitter and vacant days of winter, a glimmer of warmth peered through the gaps, shining down on London like spring.

"I'm home, Rin."

---

Shirou let herself be walked through the familiar building with Rin.

Her cold hand, the slightest trace of warmth hidden deeply inside of it, clutched onto Rin's wrist, clasping down on it tightly like her entire life depended on it.

Her eyes stayed firmly on that beautiful back, her shoulders tall and proud, as she lead Shirou in, inviting her, accepting her.

She didn't want to let go.

She didn't want to close her eyes.

If she did, she was scared she would wake up from this dream.

She was scared that this would all turn out to be nothing more than a delusion.

She would open her eyes, be back in that desolate shed in Fuyuki…

And be alone.

The same as ever.

Where nothing had changed.

Walking the same empty path – the path that doomed that bitter man – she always walked, with no one by her side.

She didn't want this – Rin, and that boy – to just be a fleeting illusion dreamed up by her fracturing sanity.

Rin's hand, gripped around her own wrist, tightened, as if to reassure her.

They entered their apartment, down the thin corridor and walked into the living room.

Rin came to a stop.

Slowly, and carefully, like a single wrong movement would cause fine china stacked on top of her head to fall and crumble, she turned her head.

She looked at Shirou with soft eyes, and smiled.

Her gaze shifted to the side.

Shirou followed.

"!" Her throat hitched.

Again, her lips trembled, almost immediately wrenching downwards.

A young boy, with greyish blue eyes – like a clouded sky – looked up with worry and concern on his face.

Likely, he had heard the desperate wailing outside, thought the voice to be familiar, and peeked around the corner curiously when he heard footsteps approaching.

Shirou found herself transfixed.

Again, she could not look away.

She could not bring herself to even blink, no matter how dry and painful her eyes got.

Again, just like with Rin, she was scared. He could disappear and fade away like an illusion cast by a fairy at any second.

"Sen…sei?" The boy's voice, soft and insignificant, something that could easily be lost inside a large gust of wind, carried away as easily as a leaf, felt unreal to her ears.

Something welled up inside of her.

Her toes curled inwards.

Her arms tensed up.

And her grip on Rin's wrist weakened.

Rin, slowly and steadily, let go of Shirou's wrist one finger at a time, leaving her to stand by herself.

Shirou did not resist.

…

"!" Isaiah felt himself gasping, all the air in his lungs expelled forcefully as a larger body impacted his.

Suddenly, he found himself in the embrace of the woman he called his teacher and his guardian, whose body quivered as she held tightly held onto him, restricting his breathing.

"S-sensei!" He called out in surprise, not understanding what was happening.

A single wrenched sob left her mouth, the sound freezing him.

He didn't get what had happened to that inconceivably strong woman, who had been so beautiful and radiant when she saved him, and he didn't get why she felt the way she currently was, but he understood one thing.

As best he could, he wrapped his tiny arms around the woman, patting her on the back.

"I'm here. Don't worry. I'm not going to go away anytime soon."

His words only served to make her tremble even more.

…But she did not cry.

A difficult smile rose on Shirou's lips, unseen by anyone.

"Tha-…nk you, Isaiah."

She felt something inside of her shift, like machinery groaning.

–Giant rusted cogs, suspended by nothing, blotted out the sun, mechanically rotating eternally, without meaning or purpose.

It was something that shouldn't be there. It wasn't something that should have existed inside Emiya Shirou's Unlimited Blade Works, only the man named EMIYA's, but it was there.

Her divergent path was converging once more.

Emiya Shirou's promise to the knight in red was ultimately fruitless. Once more, she begun to walk towards the same path.

No matter how hard she fought against it, the end seemed to be set in stone.

–The red-haired girl with golden eyes fell backward, the momentum of the spear passing through her knocking her to the ground.

This was his end.
This will be your end.

She begged with all of her heart that this boy was not doomed to the same fate, that saving him hadn't meant nothing.

She couldn't ever let him fade, she couldn't ever let him disappear.

Something resembling resolve bubbled inside of her, and she found the slightest sliver of strength inside of her.

She tugged on that thread, and separated from Isaiah.

Shirou turned to face Rin, smiling sadly with teary, reddened eyes.

Rin smiled gently, facing Isaiah.

"Isaiah… go practice in the yard, this… this is something the two of us have to handle alone."

Isaiah bit his lip.

He knew he was just a child but…

Why did that have to mean he was powerless?

"S-sensei… will she be… alright?"

Rin tried her best to comfort him, to reassure him.

"She will be. I'll make sure of it."

"I-…" Isaiah hung his head.

He clenched his fists.

He didn't like it. He didn't like not having the strength to do anything about this.

It wasn't like there was some bully he could just run up to and punch.

"Okay." He let out, almost whimpering.

He spun on his heel, looking for the apartment's back door, which would lead out into their yard.

The apartment was quiet and sombre once more.

Rin looked around, glancing at their windows and curtains.

She approached each one and closed them halfway, not enough to stop the light from shining in, but enough to allow the dark natural colours of their home to come through.

Shirou kneeled down on the wooden floorboards, unmoving.

Her eyes were still tracing the afterimage of the boy, who had disappeared around the corner.

Rin sighed.

–It's time.

She caused this mess, she had to see it through to the end.

–Didn't really want to sit on the couch, anyways.

She sunk herself downwards, her bottom dropping onto the hard flooring with a decent thud.

She faced Shirou directly, covering the line of her gaze, forcing the girl's eyes on her.

She brought her legs inwards, crossing them, straightening her back and leaning in a bit.

Time passed.

It was silent.

The angle of the light coming in through the window slightly shifted, darkening the rest of the room just a bit more.

Two silhouettes sat still in the apartment, one kneeling with her head down, the other sitting straight, their bodies shadowed by the faint light seeping through the windows.

Rin said nothing.

She had things she needed to say, feelings she wished to express, but not now.

Shirou couldn't be pushed. Not yet.

That was to come later. For now…

Shirou had to be the one to make the first move.

"I-…"

Her first words were nothing more than a whisper.

"I did it because I thought I was living up to my promise to that man."

A harrowing, fraught whisper.

–No matter what, she wouldn't turn her back on it.
Not like the man in red, bitter and regretful.

"I thought I was doing as he never did. I was not straying my eye away from those who might have been in need. I wasn't choosing one group over another. And… I thought I was continuing where Kiritsugu left off. I wouldn't abandon it. I would never stop chasing it. I would keep going and going until my legs broke. And when my legs broke, I thought I would just crawl with my arms. And when my arms broke, I thought I could just use my teeth to pull me forward. And then, finally, when I died… maybe then I could relax, maybe by then I would have reached the end."

–No matter what, she wouldn't stop chasing it.
Not like the hollow man, tired and sorrowful.

"That was it. I didn't want to stop, and the possibility existed. That was all I needed to throw caution to the wind and dive at whatever peril was in front of me. I didn't care, didn't see anything else. That was all it took for me to make the decision to plunge into the Reverse Side."

Rin remembered the day Shirou came back with Isaiah.

She remembered how she felt when Shirou told her what she was about to do.

She didn't even try to fight against it. She knew it to be useless. Shirou was far too blind to ever have her mind changed by any words Rin could have thrown at her during that moment.

The only thing she could do was plant the seed.

She could only abuse the weapon she had been given – what seemed to be her care for that boy – to hopefully wrangle her onto a path that wouldn't result in her death.

"And so I did. I ran headfirst without thinking at all about what I was doing, what might have awaited me or what I was leaving behind. I didn't want to think. I refused to. If I did think, it might have made me look away, it might have made me hesitate."

"…"

"When we got to that side of the world… something happened. It happened right in front of me, so the thought never even crossed my mind that I would look away. It wasn't something related to our mission at all. In fact, moving right there would have exposed ourselves, and almost certainly would have gotten ourselves killed unless a miracle intervened."

"…"

"There was this child. An angel who had fallen from Heaven into the Underworld right in front of me. The devils around us, all of them… the entire town of them, wanted to get her. They wanted to take her away and turn her into a slave and toy. I saw one of them leap for her and I… I moved."

–"Was I thinking for myself…? I do not remember bringing myself to those places, I do not remember caring for those people, all I remember is fighting."

"I tried to save her. I didn't even know what that meant, what saving her looked like, or what I would do after. I don't even think I thought about whether it would make me happy or not. There was just the ideal, and I acted on it."

–He did not think.

He did not feel.

There was just the ideal and he acted on it.

"All of them turned towards me. I became the target because I was stopping them. I dragged my team into it, they were forced to go along with me. I-I could have gotten us killed right then and there. We brought the entire town of devils upon us. That could have just been it. Right then and there, I-I could have died. Without saving anyone or anything. I could have doomed our entire team and mission to failure, failing to save those who I was there in the first place to save, the people I went to the Reverse Side to save, who I promised to not turn my back on."

"…"

"That promise, right there and then… without knowing it, I was already turning my back on it, wasn't I?"

The kneeling girl shivered lightly.

"If I did that knowing that I could have died, and even admitting death and failure was an almost certain outcome of moving to save that child… then was I not also admitting I wouldn't be saving those original people I came there for? Was I not turning my back on saving them, the many, just so I could die failing to save just one child?"

"…"

"The thought… didn't even cross my mind. It never would have. In ninety-nine out of a hundred worlds, I would have just died right there. But this one time, a miracle came. Sheer, dumb luck saved me from breaking that promise."

Rin looked down.

Whoever that stranger was that had made sure Shirou lived that day, she was indebted to them, whoever they were.

"I-… by that time, though, it was already too late. I already made the mistake t-that… That…"

Shirou couldn't finish the sentence.

She didn't have to, though.

Rin knew her well enough to know what was left unsaid.

That unspoken consequence was staring at her right in the face.

"That girl, that child… she had nothing."

"…"

"Angels, when they fall, they lose everything. Their entire existence is thrown into question. They have no ingrained purpose. They have no instinct or need that drives them towards survival. They have no desire that must be quenched… at the moment they fall, a 'newborn' fallen angel is…"

Shirou gulped shakily.

Her steel heart started to ache.

Her fists shook.

"Hollow."

–I do not have any regrets.
My eyes lost hatred there.
My hands lost anger there.
My legs lost hope there.
My self lost its self there.

The painful word was said breathlessly.

"Most… most fallen angels… they are lucky enough to be mature when they fall. They have already reached the point where their selves are defined, they can make that choice themselves… but a child… that child…"

Her lips quivered once more.

"She had nothing."

–Everything went away.
It is not because I gave up that I believed nothing would save me.
I just found out that it's natural.
It's just that dying people will die and survivors will survive.
I laid down on the rubble and stared at the burning field.
I understood everything then.
I thought I understood everything.

"She was like me. Alone, scattered, hollow. She didn't have one… a reason to live. She never said it to me directly, but-… but… I could see it."

The slight echo of her voice faded.

The shivering, the trembling, the held-back sob…

It all stopped.

Quiet.

"I could see it." Shirou repeated.

That simple whisper seemed to be loud enough to fill the entire room, despite barely even being able to make it to Rin's ears.

"I didn't think about it back then, I turned away and closed my eyes… but looking back, I could always see it."

The trembling started again.

If she just opened her eyes, if she didn't try to look away, if she just didn't keep her eyes on the future, on those distant people she was trying to save without even knowing what they looked like, and just looked in front of her…

Maybe this could have all been avoided.

"I could see it because I knew those eyes. I knew those eyes because…"

"…"

"Bec-…ause…"

Shirou choked.

"Those were my eyes."

"…"

"I saw those eyes every day in the mirror after Kiritsugu had passed. When I received his dream… those were my eyes."

Her words echoed like clattering steel.

"She did the same thing as me. She looked up and thought she saw something beautiful. She-…"

–"THAT'S RIGHT! I ADMIRED HIS DESIRE TO SAVE PEOPLE BECAUSE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!"

"It was just hollow admiration. You understood nothing of what he did or why he did it. You just admired him. You wanted to be like him and save somebody because you wanted to smile like he did."

"She admired me saving her without needing to benefit from it or think I would succeed because it was beautiful. So she wanted to grasp something like that too. She looked up to me… and tried to take on a similar dream, because maybe then, she could be happy too. She could be radiant and beautiful… just like the woman she saw save her."

–"BUT THAT WAS NEVER MY OWN THOUGHT! IT WAS JUST BORROWED FROM ANOTHER MAN! WHAT ELSE CAN YOU CALL THAT OTHER THAN FOOLISH? WHAT ELSE CAN YOU CALL THAT OTHER THAN POINTLESS!?"

"But that was never any of her own thought. She never made those conclusions herself. She just heard what I said, heard how confident, how convicted I was in my way, and thought it would be nice if she could be like that too."

–"So… why did you come and save me, in a town full of devils, when doing so would bring you nothing and possibly jeopardise everything?"

…

–"Do I need a reason?"

"It was all just borrowed from me. Me who was hollow and pointless in the first place. That child… who was empty, yearned for something hollow, looking up to a woman who herself was empty, yearning for something utterly wrong and fake."

Her own words weighed down on her, like a thousand sheets of steel.

"What is that if not foolish? What is that if not pointless?"

Shirou could not see the pitying face that Rin was making in that moment. The kneeling girl's head was still hung low.

"There-… Later, there was a large battle. It was what we came there for. I-I didn't realise until it was too late, when it had already started, what had happened to that girl because of my foolishness. By the time I realised, we were already stuck in war… hell…"

"…"

"She wouldn't leave. The pain, the horror, every tragedy and disgusting act on that battlefield… none of it would make her stray away."

–"I KEPT RUNNING, IGNORING THE PAIN, IGNORING HOW UTTERLY WRONG I WAS!"

"It didn't matter to her if she would accomplish anything. She could die having not done anything and it wouldn't bring her even a moment of sadness or regret. I-it… it was… it was like…"

Shirou trailed off, her empty, steel-like voice somehow becoming even more harrowing, even more despairing.

"It was like looking into a mirror."

"…"

"That was… those were exactly my thoughts. I just told you… exactly what I was thinking when I marched into the Reverse Side, into what was almost certain death, where I saved only by a miracle. I-… I saw it, Rin. I saw it."

–"That way of thinking is the cause of all of this…"

"I saw what Archer saw. A disgusting, fake, hollow, useless machine that shouldn't exist. Something that was incredibly… incredibly…"

Her mouth twisted.

–"Eventually, there will be a time where you stand in the same place as I am right now. "

The single, lonely word that existed her mouth was not sorrowful. It was not mourning.

It was bitter, vile. Hateful.

"Wrong."

It was a tone that belonged to the knight in red, before he had found his answer, before he left everything in the hands of those two girls.

"I saw me, Rin. I saw Emiya Shirou."

"…"

"She was everything that I was. That I still am. I was always too blind, too stupid, too foolish to see it… I always just kept my eyes on the future, chasing that ideal like it was all that mattered, never once bothering to look around me, or even at me. But there… when everything was reflected in a mirror, projected onto something in front of me, as the result of the very future I chased… I couldn't deny it anymore. There was no way I could turn away or close my eyes or ignore it."

"…"

"She-… That girl, she-… she died."

"…"

"I didn't just fail to save her. I wasn't just not strong enough or fast enough… I-… I-…"

A tear… one, singular tear… fell onto the floorboards.

"I killed her, Rin. It was me. Just me."

"…"

"It was my fault, and nobody else's."

"…"

"And that's-… not self-pity. That's not guilt. That's not some mistaken form of responsibility that I couldn't really have done anything to change, because… it didn't really matter. It didn't really matter whether or not I was fast enough to reach her in time, or if I was strong enough to stop the situation from happening in the first place. Because-… because if it wasn't there…"

"…"

"It would have just been somewhere else. Some other battle, some other place and time, fighting over something just as pointless and hollow as I was in that place. Some other battle, where I wouldn't be strong enough or fast enough that time, she would have died the same way. She would have died because she admired me and reached for me."

–"I WAS DRIVEN BY A HOLLOW OBSSESSION TO SAVE SOMEONE!"

"Just like I reached for Kiritsugu."

"…"

"H-her death… do you know how she died, Rin?"

Rin felt as if she knew the answer.

"She died thinking she was saving me."

–"IT WAS ALL POINTLESS… SUCH HOLLOW ASPIRATIONS COULD NEVER SAVE ANYTHING!"

"But she wasn't. She changed nothing. I was still the same as ever. I wasn't saved at all. I would just have gone on fighting in other random places I might have been needed in. I would have continued on with that foolish promise, never turning away from anyone, never abandoning someone. I would have run across someone else in a similar situation, running to save them because they were in front of me, knowing I would die, knowingly turning my back on someone else in the process."

–"No… in the first place, I didn't even know what I wanted to save!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"R-Rin… s-she… that girl… she died…"

The second lonely tear felt.

"She died my death. Emiya Shirou's death."

Two silhouettes sat in the dark room.

The kneeling girl shook.

"If she hadn't pushed me away. It would have been me dying the exact same way. I was going to be the one who changed nothing. She would have gone on just like me, hollowly yearning for something without knowing what exactly it looked like. Just because it was beautiful… that would have been good enough for her, just like it was for me. It didn't need to make her happy. It didn't need to be worthwhile. It didn't need to be feasible, or reasonable. There didn't need to be a chance at her succeeding. It wasn't wrong. She wouldn't need a reason other than that."

"…"

"I was going to die, Rin."

The kneeling, shaking girl muttered with an excruciating tone.

"That was my death I was staring at. No, not was. Is. That was Archer's end."

"…"

"If I died right there… if Alaya came to me in that moment and offered me what she offered him… I-…"

The most painful admission of all came.

"I would've taken her hand."

Rin closed her eyes, and looked down.

Her shoulders seemed to falter.

"I'm still not any different, Rin. I'm still the same. I'm still the same as I was three years ago. T-that promise, to never turn away, to never abandon anyone, to take all that pain with me and run with it… It didn't matter, Rin. It never mattered. I-I'm still just Emiya Shirou. I'm still pointless. Still empty, still hollow, still distorted. I'm still going to die having never achieved anything."

"…"

"R-Rin… please… tell me…"

The fragile, steel-like girl's voice hiccuped.

"What do I do, Rin? How can I save her? Is there anything to save? Is Emiya Shirou just doomed? Is there nothing to salvage?"

"…" Rin opened her eyes.

She leaned backwards, tilting her head to the roof.

She stared at it mournfully.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips.

"…There's nothing, is there?"

Shirou did not wait for a response.

It seemed like she had completely zoned out, being lost in her own world.

"There's nothing for me. That's just it. No matter what happens, no matter how many promises I make, no matter how many battles I fight, I'm never going to change, am I? It's too late. The moment I took on that ideal, my fate was set in set stone. No matter what, every single road leads back to the same place. To Unlimited Blade Works. A place of nothing but regrets and sorrows. An infinite hill of blades that marks the resting place of a fool."

"…Shirou…"

"Archer was right, wasn't he?"

"Shirou…"

"Emiya Shirou is someone disgusting. Emiya Shirou was a mistake. The path of no regrets, of walking forward without ever turning back, it's an utterly wrong and disgusting one. Emiya Shirou should never have wanted to become a hero. If this is the path that person is destined to walk, then that person shouldn't exist."

"Shirou."

"If that happens right now, then it's not too late, right? It's not too late for Isaiah to still live a fruitful life. It's not too late for him to grow up well, grow up strong. He can still live wonderfully, I-I just have to die, right? All I need to do is kill Emiya Shir-"

"Shirou."

"…"

Rin lowered her head, looking at Shirou once more.

She leaned forwards.

"Please."

It was her turn to let out a harrowing whisper.

"Don't say that."

"Why? Why shouldn't I do it?"

"Because that's not something you, or anyone, should be saying."

"Why does that matter? It doesn't matter if what I'm saying is something someone should be saying. It's the right thing to say. It's the right thing to suggest… and it's the right thing to do. It's the outcome that will save the most people."

…

An empty echo bounced off the walls.

Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

It overwhelmed everything.

The room went utterly quiet and still.

Still, the words could be heard.

'Save the most people.'

"Even now, when you're admitting you're wrong, fake and hollow from the ground up… you still hang onto that ideal."

Rin noted grimly. A deep, intense sorrow overtook her face.

"What else does Emiya Shirou have?"

Rin sighed.

"If that's the case. Then don't say that, for my sake. Do it for Tohsaka Rin."

"…"

"Do it because it will save me. Do it because it'll give me the salvation that I'm looking for."

"…"

"If you truly are going to hang onto that ideal, saving everybody, no matter what, then please do that for me. If all you can do is emptily reach for whatever won't make people sad, then don't say that you want to kill Emiya Shirou."

"…"

"Because that will make me sad, Shirou. It'll break my heart. You might not be able to save yourself, but if you can promise me not to say that, then you'll be able to save me. You won't fail. Just this once, if you don't say that sentence… you can save someone."

"…"

"Please."

"…" Shirou's lips trembled. "I-…"

Rin knew that machine far too well.

Even in her current broken down state, when confronted with someone pleading and begging from the bottom of their heart, showing a way for her to save them, she'd reach for it.

"…I get it, Rin."

"Thank you, Shirou. I mean it. From the bottom of my heart… thank you."

Rin bowed her head, genuinely grateful.

She was not lying a single step of the way.

If Emiya Shirou, right then, right there, made that admission, Tohsaka Rin's heart would completely shatter as well.

Genuinely, truly, she wished with all of her might that those words would not come to pass. If those words came out… she wasn't sure what she would do with herself.

It might have been manipulation, but by promising to not say those words, Rin really, really was saved.

…

It was time now.

It was time to pick up the pieces.

She raised her head once more, and looked at the kneeling girl in front of her.

"Shirou. Do you really believe all of what you just said? That there's no way you can be saved?"

"Yes."

There was no hesitation.

"I can't change. No matter what. Somewhere, somewhen else, I'm going to die the death that child died for me. I've already been damned. Just like she was damned in that moment she started to admire me, I was damned from the moment I wanted to be like Kiritsugu."

"Why do you think that? Is it because you failed that one girl?"

"…No." She shook her head frailly. "She just made me realise it."

…Resignation.

That was the only emotion in Shirou's voice.

She could not muster the will to fight against it. She was not even bitter or hateful of the fact.

Before anything had even happened, she had already admitted defeat.

"She was just the mirror. The bad, old mirror. I was always going to be like this. I just never saw it until it stabbed me through the shoulder."

The wound in her shoulder, where Fiamma had embedded her final flame, still ached in phantom pain.

"So why can't you be saved? Tell me in no uncertain words."

"Because…"

"…"

"…"

Shirou searched for an answer.

No matter what, even now, she could not say that the ideal was wrong.

She could not say that she was wrong to chase it, either.

No matter what happened to her, no matter how useless her death, or how few people she truly managed to save, those words could never ever leave her mouth.

The surface answer would not work.

So, she had to search deeper.

"Because…"

She dug into herself, into her very core, trying to unearth what laid beneath the surface, what could be found beneath the endless sands of the hill that formed Unlimited Blade Works.

"I can't be saved… I will always die emptily… because I will never be able to save anyone."

"…"

"Emiya Shirou, fundamentally, doesn't get it. She can't get it. She's a hollow thing born in a fire, who heard those words and took them in without understanding their meaning. From that very moment, she was cursed. She never understood life or its value, and yet, she sought to save it. She can't understand life."

"…"

"And because she can't understand life, she'll never be able to save anyone truly. All she can reach for is… a facsimile of saving someone. And all that will do is result in more people ending up like that girl, dying pointlessly because they looked up to someone hollow."

"…"

"She still doesn't understand what it means to chase that ideal, even after it stared her in the face and stabbed her. She foolishly thought that it was enough to believe that the ideal being beautiful, the fact that 'it isn't wrong', was enough. But that… those three words… they don't matter. They've never mattered."

"…"

"Even if the ideal itself isn't, Emiya Shirou is wrong. Emiya Shirou is fake. She cannot be saved. If someone like her, who exists as less than nothing, like a negative number, reaches for that ideal, which does mean something, like a positive number… all that happens is that the value of that ideal is lost."

"…"

"But the ideal… that's all Emiya Shirou has. If she lacks that, then she has nothing. It's a lose-lose situation. She either keeps reaching for it futilely, her broken self dooming the path to end in nothing but failure, or she abandons it, and has nothing left."

"Is that true?" Rin slightly tilted her head to the side, leaning her body half an inch along with it.

"It is." Shirou nodded, her head still hung.

Not once had she lifted her head to look at Rin.

"Is that all? Is that all the reason that Emiya Shirou can't be saved?"

"…" Shirou looked inwards.

She looked, and she looked.

She dug deeper and deeper and deeper.

She searched and searched and searched and searched.

Minutes passed. Possibly a dozen, possibly enough to take up half an hour.

In that dimly lit room, time seemed to not be real.

"It is."

She came to her final conclusion.

Rin smiled softly.

If that was it, if that was really it, if that was the whole truth, then…

Then…

She could do it.

Rin and Shirou both.

Rin could pull her out, and Shirou could still save herself.

"So…" Rin started, her voice, for the first time, hopeful. "All we have to do to save you… is either prove you can save someone, well and truly, whatever that means, or prove that there is some flicker of life in you, and show you that you can reach for it, no?"

"It won't happen." Shirou responded flatly. "It's impossible."

…

Rin let out a single chuckle through her nose.

She did not receive a denial.

"It can happen. It will happen."

"No it won't. It's impossible."

"Yes, it will. It's already happened."

"No it hasn't. Show me proof."

"You don't need it. You already know what it is."

"Where? Bring me to it."

"It's right there. You're just too blind to see it. You're too caught up in your own self-hatred and determination to die and deny everything to just open your eyes."

"…"

"Just like you've always been. You've always been too blind, too foolish, too stupid to see it."

She threw her own words back at her.

"You've always been too focused on the future, chasing the ideal like it was all that ever mattered, off to save someone else, never stopping for a moment, never bothering to look around you, or even at yourself. It's only when it's reflected into a mirror, projected onto something in front of you, as the result of the very future you chased, that you can't deny it anymore. Then, and only then, have you ever been unable to deny it, turn away from it, close your eyes and ignore it."

"…"

"That girl… she is not special in that regard. The same… the same was true for when you faced that man."

Shirou locked up.

"…" No words came out of her mouth.

She could not deny what Rin threw at her.

"…Just once." Rin tried.

She tried to plea, tried to beg.

She prayed with all of her heart that Shirou, unconditionally, without needing the string of 'saving someone' to be attached, to listen to just one request.

"For just once in your life, please. Try. Without a twisted mirror to look into, try it. Stop chasing something distant, stop looking only at the ideal and nothing else, and try… for once in your empty, useless life, please… try. Look at the person named Emiya Shirou."

"…"

"Tell me yourself what I'm talking about. I can't be the one to give you the answer to it this time. Please, look for that proof yourself."

"…"

"I know you know what it is. It's right there. It's right in front of you. For once, stop pitying yourself and viewing yourself as a tool… and just look."

"…"

Shirou's lips parted.

Her mouth was dry.

The sound that came out was hoarse.

"C-can I…"

She held back a sniffle.

"Can I… really try?"

Shirou, at last, raised her head, staring at Rin with teary, golden eyes.

For the first time, a glimmer of life entered her voice.

Something entirely selfish, something entirely unique.

"Can Emiya Shirou… does she really deserve to grasp that answer?"

Desperation, anguish, desire, pain.

Hope.

"Shirou." Rin called to her friend, grabbing her attention. "Can I ask you something?"

"…"

"Why are you trying to deny it so much? Why is it so hard for you to just accept this?"

"…" Shirou lowered her head again.

Her arms shook. Steel rattled beneath the skin.

"Let's go back a bit. You said you will always die emptily. For now, let's assume that's true."

Shirou nodded slowly.

"For a while, you were fine with that, weren't you? Even if it's true that you can't be saved… why do you actively want to die? Why are you so desperately denying the possibility that you can be saved?"

"I-… I…"

Shirou trailed off, unable to provide an answer.

Once more, minutes passed.

The few rays of light that crept past the half-closed blinds, once more had their angles become shallower.

Again, the timeless room prevented either of them from knowing truly how long had passed in that moment of silence.

Shirou, no matter how deep she looked, dug, and searched, could not find an answer.

"If you can't find an answer inside of Emiya Shirou, inside everything that makes up that person… then look beyond her. Look at all the parts of Emiya Shirou that don't exist, that you can never find by only looking for what's present."

…

"I-…" The answer slowly came to Shirou.

Her dry lips moved.

Her hoarse voice groaned and croaked.

Her own body tried to resist her, fighting against the answer she had found.

Maybe it wasn't the admission itself, but some part of that answer, some part of its implications, deeply hurt to say out loud.

–Dead bodies, skulls, skeletons. They twitched, desperately trying to rise, but to no avail. They were held in place by a myriad swords.

She found her answer not within the girl named Emiya Shirou, but by looking forward, at the so-called inevitable future, the man once named Emiya Shirou.

–The emotions flowing through her overpowered her pain.

It was numbing.

A man stood alone at the peak. Staring off into nothing.

…

–I hate it…

It's…–

"I'm scared." She admitted, her voice dropping down to that harrowing whisper. "I'm scared that if I have hope… if I believe in this path, like I always did before, like he did before me… that I'll just keep running forward like I always did and will do… and end up just like him."

"…"

"But-… but if I die… if I die before any of that can happen, before I reach where he was… maybe I can stop it all. Maybe if I perish early enough, quietly enough, Alaya won't come for me. She'll never make that offer… maybe if I die, Emiya Shirou won't have to suffer that fate."

"And why does that scare you so much, Shirou?"

"I-…"

Again, she trailed off, looking for the answer.

"I know that I'll feel the exact same way he did when he died. If Alaya makes that offer to me in that moment… I'll accept."

"…"

"A-and… if I become like him… if I become like him because I had hope that I'd find salvation one day, that Emiya Shirou still had a future, that she could still be saved, then I'll find myself at that place, unable to save anyone, ever again, just like him."

"So you want to deny that you can save yourself, so you can avoid that man's fate?"

"…Yes." Shirou confirmed simply.

"And avoiding that man's fate is important because it means you still might be able to save someone, correct?"

"…Yes."

"There's a contradiction here then, isn't there?"

"…"

"You just admitted to me that the one thing stopping you from being able to save someone, in a fashion that well and truly will bring salvation, not something hollow and fleeting like you did with that girl, is that you can't ever understand what it means to be able to save yourself."

Shirou quivered.

"So if you want to save someone, save those people who you want to save by avoiding that man's fate… you have to save yourself, Shirou."

…

The third lonely tear fell from Shirou's eyes.

"Can I really, Rin? Can I really let myself be saved, if there is anything to save at all?"

…

Rin sighed, leaning backwards and dropping her shoulders once more.

"You still can't let it happen, huh?"

She frowned, bemoaning her friend's sheer bullheadedness.

"Maybe you're so hesitant to accept it because we're still stuck on this idea of 'saving' people. We'll never make any progress if we go at it from this angle…"

She brought her head down.

"Fine."

She lifted her bottom of the floor, planted her hands on the wooden floor beneath her, and crawled forward on her knees.

"Let's do it like this, Shirou."

She came closer and closer to the kneeling girl, whose head was still hung.

She got close enough that Shirou could feel Rin's breath on her hair.

"Let's ask and answer a simple question. No ifs, no buts, no complications, no frills."

"…"

"What is it that Emiya Shirou wants?"

It was a simple question, with a simple answer.

Both of them knew what it was.

"She wants to save everyone."

Rin nodded lightly.

"Why does she want to do that?"

"Because that's what the ideal is."

There was exactly one thing that Emiya Shirou knew, that Emiya Shirou was confident about, and this was it.

"So everything ties back to the ideal, then?"

"Yes."

"Okay, good. Let's interrogate that, then."

"…"

"Why are you chasing that ideal?"

"It isn't wrong."

"Mm. No." Rin shook her head. "I get that you live by those words and all, but that's not good enough. That's not enough. I need more. I'll ask again, why are you chasing that ideal? I'm not asking what reaffirmed your belief in it, I'm asking why you chased it in the beginning. What was it that drew Emiya Shirou to that dream?"

"She chased it because she received it from that man."

"And why did Emiya Shirou take that dream from him? It wasn't a contract. He didn't take anything from you, you didn't get anything in exchange. So why?"

"She admired that man's dream. When he expressed it to her, she was glad that he was handing her the responsibility of continuing it."

"Admiration? Is that it? Is that all it took for Emiya Shirou to take on that ideal? Her want to be like that one man?"

"Yes. It was."

"Why? Why did Emiya Shirou admire that man?"

"…Because on that night, in that fire where she was born… she witnessed something sacred. Something radiant and beautiful."

"And what was that?"

"That man saved her. To be more accurate, that man found salvation by saving her."

"…"

"She didn't have any regrets. Her eyes lost hatred there. Her hands lost anger there. Her legs lost hope there. Her self lost its self there. That fire tore down everything inside her and birthed her anew as an empty vessel."

"So… that night, that child, Emiya Shirou, why did she admire that man? What happened on the night he found salvation that led her to admire him? That led her to willingly receive his dream? That led her to chase that ideal? That made her valiantly want to believe it wasn't wrong? That made her want to save everyone, just because it sounded beautiful?"

"…He…"

"…"

"He smiled. He saved m-… her… and he smiled. She looked upon the sight, and fell into awe. He was the first thing that came into her sight… so she latched onto it. Each precious tear that fell down his face, glimmering as if they were each a star in itself, that smile whose light and radiance washed away the painful burning light of the fire… when she looked upon them, a serene grace filled her empty soul, and she wished she could be like that man."

"…"

"…"

Rin crawled even closer.

Their noses almost touched on another.

Shirou could feel Rin's breath come down on her lips.

"I'll ask again. What is it that Emiya Shirou wants? What is it, in that moment, that she wanted? What was it that she felt in that very moment that caused everything that followed? That led her to this very place, this very time? That made her want to defy the tragic, bitter, regretful future of the knight in red?"

"…"

"…"

…

Time passed.

'What is it that Emiya Shirou wanted?'

It was a simple question.

A very, very simple question.

A very simple question with a very simple answer.

A very simple answer that both of them already knew.

A very simple answer that Emiya Shirou didn't want to face, too blind, too stupid, too foolish. Always looking off into the future, always chasing the ideal, never once concerned for herself, thinking she never deserved it, thinking it was holding her back.

Shirou remained silent for a long time.

Time passed. So much time passed that even the room, which had felt so removed from its passage, felt it.

The sun, far out in the distance, started to set.

The blue of the sky above them faded, turning yellow, with the horizon starting to bleed with oranges and reds.

It was not an illusion of any kind. It was not some trickery of the brain, nor had time suddenly sped up or skipped forward.

That was simply just how long Shirou had kneeled there, quiet.

…

And then, finally…

Finally…

Shirou opened her mouth, swallowing the saliva inside.

As she parted her wet lips, her entire body started to tremor.

Tears rapidly fell down her face, slipping down the cold, steel-like skin.

Finally, the girl spoke.

…

---

"I wanted to be happy."

---

…

Two silhouettes sat still in the apartment, one kneeling with her head down, the other crawling forward, their bodies shadowed by the faint, distant orange glow of the sunset.

"I-… wanted to be happy." Shirou repeated.

The single sentence echoed around the silent room.

Rin smiled, pulling back.

She put her bottom back on the floor and crossed her legs again.

"Is that so?" She asked, whispering warmly.

This was it, wasn't it?

All those years of trying, all those years of staying by her side…

After all that time that boy spent chasing his ideal, turning bitter with each step along the way, after all the time he spent resentful of his childish past…

Everything, all of it, all those painful memories, all that suffering and all of their struggles…

The three of them, the red-haired girl in golden eyes, the girl who wanted to stay by her side, and the knight in red…

They finally did it, hadn't they?

"I wanted to be happy." Shirou repeated, once more.

After retreating back all the way to the very beginning, that was what she had found.

That man smiled, and she was saved.

In that moment, she considered it.

It would have been wonderful…

If she was able to save everything there.

If all those people in the fire didn't have to die, if she could have done something to save them, like that man did for her…

If she could become an ideal existence like that… then maybe…

Maybe, would she be able to smile like that man in front of her?

"I wanted to smile like he did, dazzling and radiant."

Slowly, but surely, Shirou traced it all back, all the way from the very beginning.

"And because it was saving me that made him smile, I thought saving others would make me smile. So when he passed that ideal to me, I was happy the man I admired entrusted me with that endless responsibility. I could really be like him. I could smile like he did one day."

The tears, each one like a crystal, came without end.

Something warm broke through the cold exterior of the machine.

"I wanted to be happy. Everything became about saving someone. I-I forgot about that initial thought, and gave up every thought in my mind about possibly ever valuing my own life, saving myself over someone else. I thought if I could discard that, it would make it easier to reach out selflessly and save someone."

Rin let out a small breath through her nose, relieved.

…They had.

They really did it.

"I was okay with it. Not saving myself, not being happy. Because that would let me do something for someone else. And paradoxically, maybe that would make me happy. But the moment I made that thought… that was when I doomed myself. Because at that point, I no longer cared about being happy. It was just the ideal from then on."

The fundamental hypocrisy that laid right at the centre of Emiya Shirou…

The three of them, finally…

After making a thousand blades…

After overcoming a thousand battlefields…

Finally, they started to unravel that distortion.

"I don't want an empty future. T-that idea… that man's fate… it scares me. I hate it… I hate it more than anything. That was why I think I made all those promises, that was why I tried to deny him. I don't want to be bitter and regretful and eternally suffering…"

Shirou's breaths became harsh and uneven, almost like pants, in a way.

"I wanted to believe that 'it isn't wrong' because I wanted to salvage the ideal… I wanted to still believe there was happiness that Emiya Shirou could reach for. B-but…"

A single sob escaped her throat.

"I-is that really there? Is it really not too late?"

"…"

"Even after throwing away all consideration of her life, after throwing away the desire to be happy… c-can…"

A second and a third horrid, wretched sound was pulled out from her throat.

"Is there really still something left for Emiya Shirou?"

"…"

…

Rin pulled her hands into her lap and bent her elbows, leaning forward towards Shirou again.

"For now, Shirou, forget about that."

"…"

"Forget about whether or not there might be something left. You've never cared for whether that end you're looking for actually exists or not. It's always just been about the desire to chase it endlessly, no matter what. So take that, not what Emiya Shirou might or might not have, or what she currently doesn't have, and channel it."

"…"

"In this moment, without thinking about whether or not its impossible to attain that thing, can you tell me?"

"…"

"Tell me what it is that Emiya Shirou wants right now."

…

The impossible words formed on Shirou's lips.

"I want to live."

And there it was.

Rin smiled.

She pulled herself back.

She looked on as the dam slowly cracked.

"I want to have a fulfilling life. I don't want to be empty. I want to matter. I want to be happy. I want to… I want to save someone. That's all Emiya Shirou-… all I ever wanted. I might have forgotten it along the way, I might have done things that contradicted those desires because I was always too blind, too stupid, and too foolish… but I've always wanted those things."

"…"

"Rin, please… I want to save Emiya Shirou. How… how do I do that? What is there for this hollow, useless machine to reach for?"

"…I told you before, didn't I?" Rin chuckled. "It's right there. The proofs right there. In a way, you've already been saved. There's not something that you might be able to reach for… you've already reached it."

"…"

"All you have to do… is look."

…

"So please, Shirou… look."

…

Shirou lifted her head, and did as Rin told her to.

She did as she never could without a bad, old mirror – like the knight in red or the red-haired girl with golden eyes – to look into.

She did as she was always too blind, stupid and foolish to ever consider.

She ignored the endless future of the ideal, she ignored the distant people who might have needed saving.

And she just looked.

She looked right there. At what was just in front of her.

Shirou lifted her head, and looked straight forward.

There, right in front of her, just over Rin's shoulder…

It was the back door.

"Isaiah."

The tears spilled down her face.

"Isaiah." She repeated the boy's name, as if she was chasing it.

Right there, in the yard, was a boy.

A boy who made a promise below a starry night, sitting on a porch.

"I have Isaiah."

A truly ugly, yet beautiful smile rose on Shirou's wobbling lips.

Just as Rin said, it was right there.

"I saved him. Emiya Shirou… saved him. He's proof. The ideal, the end of my path… it isn't hollow."

Rin closed her eyes, letting her shoulders drop in relief.

She had done all that she could. It was now up to Shirou to make it the rest of the way.

"When that moment comes, I'll have saved him. Well and truly, whatever 'saving' someone means. He's happy. He has a future. He made a promise, one that he will always fight for. It's a future I gave to him. I saved him."

Shirou repeated the conclusion, as if she could not truly believe in the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"A-and he… he saved me. By living, by being saved…"

–He must have searched desperately.
And he found it. An impossibility.
A survivor that should not have existed.

If one was to talk about miracles…
It would not be the fact that Shirou lived but…

"He granted Emiya Shirou the salvation she so desperately yearned for. When he made that promise to her, one day become strong enough to learn her name… then… he made Emiya Shirou happy. That promise binded her, it gave her a reason to live."

Rin drew her legs in, placing one foot flat on the floor, ready to get up as she continued listening to Shirou's monologue.

"I can't die. I can't give my life for something meaningless. Not while he's alive, not while he has that promise. I have to live. I have to live, so that I can hold up my end of the promise. So I can continue holding this salvation to my chest, continue holding onto this happiness. I have it… a reason to selfishly live, a way to bypass the self-sacrificing, thoughtless, heartless machine. As long as I have him, I can still do it."

Shirou sniffled, smiling.

"I can still avoid that man's fate."

"…"

"…I don't know if I can still chase that ideal as I am right now. 'It isn't wrong'… those three words weren't enough. They failed me… I failed the ideal. As I am now… I can't dare to wish to hold it in my hands… but… but…"

"…"

"I still have him. I still have Isaiah. I-if I can stick to him long enough… maybe, maybe… I'll be able to figure it out… a way that I can continue forward."

Rin chuckled, pulling herself up from the floor.

"So come on then, you've come this far. There's still one thing left, isn't there?"

Shirou chuckled.

"Yeah… there is."

"Can you tell me what it is, Shirou? Can you look? Or do I have to tell you myself?"

"No… I know."

On her wobbly legs, which seemed to be just a little less cold, hard and sharp, Shirou pulled herself up.

She turned to the side, looking out the window, into the yard lit by the sunset.

A boy dutifully swung his sword.

"I'm hungry." She blurted out.

"I'd like cheesecake for dinner."

---

Rin and Shirou walked through the evening streets of London, the warm yellow glow that painted over the city filling Shirou with just a sliver of warmth and comfort.

"So…" Rin exhaled loudly. "Do you have a place that you like in particular?"

Shirou paused.

She cast her mind back in time. Back to over ten months ago.

–"I told you this before! It's not Dame Tristan, it's Ser!"

There was a young boy, and his little sister.

A small, longing smile tugged at her lips.

"I-… I think I do."

It was just a fanciful dream.

Nothing more than a pleasant thought to have.

But…

But…

That place, if she went there, maybe, just maybe… they could meet again.

It was unlikely, but she-…

It wasn't wrong for her to hope, was it?

"There's… somewhere I want to go."

Rin smiled at that statement.

She grabbed onto Shirou's elbow, and dragged her forward.

"Come on then, go take the lead. It's not like I'm going to be able to read your mind or anything."

Rin nudged her head towards the distant streets.

Shirou let the small smile on her face bloom.

She closed her eyes, and let her feet take her where she wanted to go, wandering in the directions she remembered wandering all those months ago.

Eventually, they came to it.

It was a quaint little thing, that café. High class and luxurious for sure, but more refined and elegant than it was extravagant.

It was quiet, mostly. Only a few businessmen and couples remained at this time of day. They were probably getting ready to close up shop for the day.

Shirou cast her eyes over the few people who were still seated, tightly holding onto that tiny, tiny sliver of hope.

–Oh.

The smile almost fell from her face.

–Of course not.

The people she sought were not there.

It was a silly idea and expectation to have to begin with.

–I'm an idiot, aren't I?

Of course they're not going to be here…

Just because the one time I met them,
They wanted to come here…

That doesn't mean they'll always be here.

Disappointment, that strange, foreign thing, filled her.

…Unlike with that fallen child though, it wasn't quite as painful.

She shook it off.

"This is the place, Rin."

Her friend quirked an eyebrow.

"Hoh?"

Recognition filled Rin's eyes.

"You know this place? Didn't peg you as someone who would buy something from a place this fancy."

Shirou smiled sheepishly, once more wrapping herself up in the wistful memories of that fleeting meeting.

The stories she told of the King and his Knights, their enraptured faces and expectant eyes…

Part of it might have been based on a lie of her identity, but the feelings and tales were nothing but the truth.

She-

…

Shirou blinked.

–I…

Want…

It?

I…

I'm…

Desperate?

To have that again?

…

She desperately wanted to see those two children again.

"A… a friend… showed me this place." She answered Rin, her mind distracted.

"Hm? That so?" Rin smiled. "Well, introduce me to them, one day."

"…I will." Shirou nodded slowly. "If I ever meet them again… I will."

With nothing further to say, the two walked forward, stepping in-

"Ser Tristan!"

A charming, fairylike voice rung in her ears.

Shirou froze.

Rin gave her an odd look.

Shirou's fingers twitched.

Her lips quivered.

–Please.

The voice rung in her ears over and over until the memory of those words no longer seemed real.

–Please.
Don't be fake.

Please.
Don't be an illusion.

Slowly, very slowly, she turned on the ball of her foot, facing the direction the voice came from.

A young girl ran towards her, holding up the hem of her fancy white dress. Her eyes shimmered brightly like sapphires, and her finely textured curled blonde hair, shining as if sprinkled with golden dust, bobbed up and down with the girl's light and springy steps.

A wonderful smile bloomed on Shirou's face.

Hope, that dastardly, sickening thing, nestled its way into her heart once mor.

It was a face she recognised, in more ways than one.

"Le Fay…" She called out, breathless.

Rin blinked, inexplicably finding the young girl to look familiar.

The girl, whose image felt like that of a fairy, leapt up towards Shirou's chest with wide arms.

"Y-Young Lady, y-you mustn't act like that in public!" Somewhere in the distance, an exasperated, panting voice shouted towards her.

Shirou's eyes widened, taken aback by the child's sudden action, but nonetheless hurried to receive her properly.

"Ser Tristan, it really is you!" The girl buried her head into Shirou's chest, tightly wrapping her arms around the young woman's back.

…

Upon hearing the girl's words, her voice filled with joy and delight, Shirou calmed down from her surprise.

And she smiled warmly.

"Yes, it really is me." Shirou reciprocated the hug, chuckling lightly.

Next to her, Rin gave her quite the bemused look.

"Ser Tristan, is it?"

Shirou chuckled.

"It's… a long story."

The distant voice from earlier finally caught up to the three.

A young lady in a maid outfit panted as she jogged up, sweating from her forehead. She seemed rather pretty for her age – which, if Shirou had to guess, was around fourteen or fifteen years old – with long, luscious black hair tied up behind her head for safety, and smooth white skin.

Before anything else, the maid bowed deeply towards Shirou and Rin.

"I-I must apologise about the Young Lady's behaviour. While she is normally quite energetic… she has more tact than this on most occasions. I do not know what came over her, I am sorry."

"…" Rin said nothing, quite confused as to what was going on in all honesty.

"It's fine." Shirou shook her head, waving it off. "Le Fay is probably just excited to meet me again. I believe it has been nearly eleven months since we last met. It would have been at the very end of last spring."

"I-… I see." The maid nodded, breathing out a small sigh of relief. "At least you are acquainted with the Young Lady, if she were to act this way to a complete stranger, I am not sure my heart would be able to take it."

She shook her head, catching her breath.

"Apologies, I should introduce myself."

She pinched the hems of her maid's dress and curtsied towards them.

"I am Elaine Westcott, exclusive maid of Le Fay Pendragon. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, madams."

Rin pursed her lips, trying her best not to let a reaction show itself on her face.

…Pendragon?

That… that explained why she thought that little girl looked so familiar. Shirou… ten months ago, on the day before she left for her mission, she did say something about this, no? She said she met her descendants.

"I'm S-… Tristan. Just refer to me as Tristan."

The name made Elaine freeze up.

"!"

Suddenly, she lowered her head, bowing towards her again.

"F-forgive me! I-I wasn't aware I was speaking to Ser Tristan!"

Rin arched an eyebrow curiously.

"Arth-… Lord Arthur has spoken at great lengths about you before. I apologise for not recognising you sooner."

Shirou blinked.

"Elaine… Westcott…" She slowly said the name back to herself, trying to recall why it sounded familiar.

"Ah. Right." She nodded. "Mordred told me about you. You're Arthur's lover, no? I was… expecting someone closer to his age."

Elaine bristled, blushing.

"E-erm… it's… quite embarrassing, but yes. I-… I am Arthur's prospective fiancée."

Finally, Le Fay took her head out of Shirou's bosom, and skipped backwards towards Elaine.

"…Westcott?" Rin drawled, casting a tired gaze towards Shirou. "Mordred? Tristan? Looks like I've missed out on a lot during these ten months."

Shirou chuckled sheepishly.

"M-maybe later, Rin."

The mention of Rin's name reminded Elaine of her presence.

Hurriedly, Elaine composed herself and shifted slightly to her right, curtsying towards Rin.

"Greetings, madam. Who would you happen to be?"

Rin cast an odd look towards Shirou.

"I'm… Tristan's friend, Tohsaka Rin. Nice to meet you, Westcott."

As a self-respecting magus, the significance of the name did not escape her. It could have been a coincidence, but when that name was placed in close proximity to the other name of Pendragon? Unlikely.

Elaine bristled at the emphasis put on her family name. That was enough of a signal to put her on edge.

"And you as well, Le Fay."

Le Fay nodded, smiling brightly.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Tohsaka."

Le Fay, completely ignorant to the expression of her guardian, beamed at Shirou.

"It's very good to see you again Ser Tristan. It seems fate, once more, has smiled upon us. His Highness' invisible guiding hands has brought us together."

Shirou paused.

–Fate?

She smiled softly.

–Saber…
If this is your work,
If you are out there, listening to me…

Something lodged deep inside of her, that golden sheath, the symbol of the King's protection and her watchful eye, thrummed.

–Thank you.

Thank you for staying by me.

Thank you for bringing this child to me, just one more time.

Avalon hummed back gleefully.

"Yes, indeed." Shirou chuckled. "I came here out of a foolish desire to meet you again in this place… I did not think I would see that come true."

She knelt downwards, ruffling the child's hair.

"You're just as pretty and bright as ever, Le Fay."

Le Fay closed her eyes, leaning into the knight's hands.

"So… why would you happen to be here?"

Le Fay's smile brightened.

"We're running away!"

"…"

Shirou tilted her head in confusion.

Elaine sighed, exasperated.

"Le Fay wishes to visit her older brother in Carlisle. The elders would not let her out, but she refused to go along with their words. As her personal maid, it's my responsibility to see that her antics do not get her into trouble."

Shirou closed her eyes, a wistful smile present on her lips.

She recalled the dreams and memories that still came to her on some nights.

Memories of bright, seemingly endless days in the countryside.

Memories of a brash, bright young girl living together with a small family.

Memories that came before the day that sword was drawn from the stone.

Memories, of which there were far too few. Memories that did not last for nearly as long as anyone wished they would.

–…

Saber…

I hope this girl, the fruits of your legacy, will live long, happy days.

I hope that she will never have to wake up from this pleasant dream of hers.

I pray that these bright days of her childhood will last longer than either of ours could.

"Mm, mm!" Le Fay nodded along to her maid's words. "And we're just making a quick stop here. After we pick up some snacks and baked goods, we're off to auntie Mordred's place."

"Ah." Shirou's eyes softened, a flicker of sadness and disappointment hidden behind her gaze. "I suppose we won't have time to talk, then?"

"…" Le Fay bit her lip and lowered her head, downcast. "…I'm afraid not, Ser Tristan. We must leave with haste, lest the Pendragon Family figures out our whereabouts."

"…" Shirou turned her gaze slightly to the side. "That's… a shame."

"…"

"…"

"Ser Tristan… did you miss us?"

Shirou stared at the ground.

…

She hadn't ever considered it.

She never thought about her meeting with those two children, that fleeting capsule in time, beyond the day it happened.

There was always something else in front of her.

There were people who needed saving. There were those beyond her view she had to protect. There was always the ideal to keep on chasing.

She had never once considered the idea that she might have missed something, longed for something.

Even her promise to Rin, which in those following hours as she made her way to Carlisle, seemed so strong and unforgettable, faded away the moment she saw that fallen angel child crash right in front of her.

…Did she miss them?

If she took all of that away, all the people she needed to save and the unwavering resolve to keep chasing that future… what was inside of her? What was inside that repressed self, forced away so she could give her life to save someone else?

–Saber…
I-…

Her smile turned to one of longing and melancholy.

"Yes, Le Fay."

–I miss you.
I wish you were still here, Saber.

"I missed you and Arthur both."

–I wish you could see these two,
Just like I could.

Deep inside the blackness of her soul, a golden light shimmered.

–I wish I could hear your voice one more time, Saber.
I wish you could tell me what your 'Answer' was.

I wish I knew what it is you said and did on that hill that resulted in this future.

Avalon hummed mournfully.

---

The sky was orange and purple by the time Rin and Shirou returned.

"I'm home." Shirou called out, not thinking about where the words came from.

"I'm home…" She repeated, whispering the words to herself.

She smiled.

–A place to come back to.
A reason to come back.
…

I have it.

A home.

Her heart still ached, still fracturing and cracking, its pieces falling to the ground like shattering glass.

Her body was still hollow inside, and under her skin there was still cold steel.

The pain, the meaninglessness, the emptiness and sorrow still filled her.

The memory of that red-haired girl with golden eyes still plagued her.

Likely, it would not ever leave, not while Emiya Shirou was still empty.

But at least for now, in this place, that pain was not overbearing.

Her ideal, her way of life, may have been shattered, but at least she now saw that she had at least one more thing besides that.

Her fingers clenched inwards, slightly stressing the plastic cake box in her right hnad.

Rin groaned as she stretched tiredly.

She yawned and lazily dragged her feet towards the kitchen, pulling out the cutlery and crockery.

"Go on then, Sensei…" She mumbled, grinning lightly. "Go get the boy. I'll get everything ready."

Shirou smiled thankfully, heeding her words and heading for the back door.

She pulled it open, and stared into the yard.

His tiny figure, shadowed by the warm light of the setting sun, stood proudly, despite the shaking and the heaving.

The boy diligently moved through the motions she had taught him.

Left foot forwards. A small step to start.

Right foot back, forty-five degrees outwards.

Move the hips, the power of the swing starts from the ground.

Push one shoulder, pull the other.

One strike at head height, one at the shoulder, one at the abdomen.

Switch the feet around, and the direction of the swing, and repeat.

Over and over.

Sweat flew off Isaiah's forehead as he went through the motions, one by one, putting all of his focus and energy into it.

So focused on he was his practice, that he never even heard the door opening, nor did he see the woman who came out of it.

All he saw was the sword he held, and the imaginary opponent in front of him.

Shirou smiled, leaning her back on the wall and just choosing to watch.

One set of swings, then two sets.

–One day, Isaiah…
One day…

You'll live. You'll grow up healthy and strong.
You'll keep on reaching for that dream of yours,
Getting stronger and stronger.

Some day, you'll be strong enough to overcome everything life throws at you…

And on that day…

You'll–

Shirou laughed.

It was that sound that finally snapped Isaiah out of his trance.

His shoulders jolted, and he leapt back a bit out of fright.

"S-Sensei!" He bowed deeply, apologising. "Sorry, I-I didn't see you."

Shirou shook her head, chuckling in amusement.

"No, it's fine. It's good to see you so focused, Isaiah. I'm glad that even when I'm not there to watch, you still have your eyes firmly planted on what you want."

–I'm glad that the future is so clearly defined for you.
You know exactly what it is you want to do,
And how it is you're going to get there.

I-…

I'm jealous really…

"I-…" Isaiah put down his sword, looking away and blushing slightly. "I don't want to let anyone down ever again. That's all it is. I just don't want you to be disappointed."

Shirou giggled.

–I wish I had that.
I wish I knew what a true hero looked like.
What it truly means to save someone,
And what it looks like to be able to save everyone.

Maybe… maybe if I knew what those outcomes looked like, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Something inside of her continued to click and groan.

It was the shifting of the giant, mechanical gears inside of her, that thing which didn't belong.

–Even now…
Even with this small happiness,
This small glimmer of salvation…

It's still not enough.

Shirou tilted her head backwards until it touched the wall, and closed her eyes.

"Sensei…" Isaiah called out with a tiny bit of fear.

His eyebrows furrowed.

"Are… are you alright?"

"As long as you're here… I think I will be."

The young boy hung his head, biting his lips.

His now empty fists trembled.

"Then… I'll make sure that I'll stay by your side for as long as I can. I promise, I won't ever leave you."

Shirou laughed.

"Don't… don't say something like that. If you say it like that, with that much passion and conviction…"

Something flittered inside of her heart.

There it was again, that despicable thing called hope.

"I'll want to take you up on it, you know? I'm really going to believe in it."

"I'm being serious, Sensei."

–I know you are.
That's what scares me.

Even this tiny sliver of salvation,
This fragment of a fragment of the end of a rope that can pull me to safety,
Even this…

It's almost too much for me.

I'm scared…

I'm scared that if you say that to me,
I'll hold onto it.

I'll get drunk on it.

And then…
Then, while I'm not looking…
You'll just disappear.

"Hey, Isaiah, do you remember what you said after the last time we had dinner?"

Rather than address the boy's feelings, she chose to just flip the topic.

Shirou opened her eyes, gazing at the now purple sky.

If she looked very, very closely, she might have been able to see the faint glimmer of the planets, shining like stars.

"Um…" Isaiah frowned, confused by sudden shift in conversation. "Yeah, I do."

He nodded.

"I wanted to try something sweet."

"…"

"The old matron of our orphanage… she made a lot of dinners. Big pots of stew and soup and large bowls filled with everything she could scrounge up from the pantry."

He smiled fondly, remembering those distant days.

"It was all delicious. All of us loved just reaching in and grabbing as much as we could, but… it was never luxurious. We were pretty poor, for the most part. It was just large hunks of animals people didn't want and vegetables and fruits we could grow ourselves. Things like refined herbs and spices, or dairy products like milk, cream and cheese… things which we had to buy with cold, hard money… we never got the chance to try them, and when we did, it was just something like spices we could easily just dump a small amount of into something to get as much value from it as possible."

His lips twitched. A forlorn, longing expression overtook his face.

"I… I always said to everyone I was going to make a lot of money one day. I would buy us sugar, milk and cheese and I was going to learn how to bake. I'd make them all big, big cakes and we could all eat like we were nobles, but…"

Isaiah chuckled, the sound tasting bittersweet as it left his mouth.

"That could never happen."

"…"

"I-… I still want to do that. One day, I'm going to learn how to bake pastries and sweets, and I'm going to share it with all of my new friends, who I'll all keep safe. But unlike with that part, keeping them safe, I… I don't even know where to begin."

He smiled bitterly.

"I don't even know what something like a 'cheesecake' even looks or tastes like. I've only ever dreamed of something like that before."

A warm light flicked on behind Shirou, its rays casting out onto the grass outside.

That was Rin turning the lights on.

"Then let's figure it out." Shirou told him simply.

"…Huh?" Isaiah blinked, bewildered.

Shirou chuckled.

"Let's figure it out. What a cheesecake looks and tastes like."

"I-…" Isaiah sputtered, lost. "Sensei, what are you saying?"

–It scares me,
But even so…

This small sliver of hope,
This tiny chance at salvation…
It might be foolish,
And even maybe this tiny, tiny amount might still be enough to get me drunk on it…
But I still don't want to let it go.

I want to hold onto it as tightly as I can.

"Come on, let's go inside. Dinner's ready, Isaiah."

---

A few days had passed since then. Once more, it was spring.

By now, the cold and bitter winter with its hateful, chilling winds, had faded.

The sun shone down upon the bright world, empowering the bright green of the grass, and the bright blue of the sky.

It was gentle, still, warm and caring, still.

It was not yet harsh and overbearing, not like summer.

Shirou stood over the sink, washing dishes by hand, one by one.

"Hnnngh…" In the room next to the kitchen, Rin could be heard groaning as she got up and stretched.

It was a slow, peaceful morning. One like any other.

Rin sighed, immediately dropping down onto one of their couches, planting her face right into the furniture.

It was one her very, very few off days right now.

Well, maybe?

She wasn't planning on it being one. She had gotten up earlier, as she had been doing since the start of her apprenticeship, to get to the Clock Tower faster, but when she had arrived, the old fart just gave her a knowing smile and dismissed her.

Her eyebrow ticked, not that anybody could see it since her face was buried inside a cushion or two.

What the hell was with that look, huh?

Was there something he knew that she didn't?

…Was he spying on the two of them again?

…

Fuck. It was totally that, wasn't it?

She sighed, the aggrieved noise being muffled by the furniture.

It did make sense, kind of… The old man said the entire purpose of this apprenticeship was so he could remain close to this version of Emiya Shirou to keep a closer eye on her, so it probably stood to reason that he knew what had happened on the day she came back home.

…Why not then?

Why did he not give her days off when that was going on?

"Fucking old bastard… I'll kill him."

Luckily, Isaiah was not close enough to hear her foul language.

She groaned, flipping herself around and facing the roof.

A fan spun on the ceiling.

She lazily tried to follow its motion with her eyes.

"Oi, Orphan-sensei… you planning on doing anything today?"

She called out, bored.

"…No, not really." The distant response came.

Rin sighed.

"…You've become like a NEET, almost, you know?" She drawled.

Almost instantly, a small amount of regret flooding her system made her cringe at her own statement.

Well, it wasn't wrong but…

That might have been a bit of an insensitive comment to make.

She certainly understood why she was acting the way she was, even if she didn't personally think it was the best or healthiest way to do things.

Ever since their talk, Shirou hadn't left the house even a single time.

All she would do was stay home, watching over Isaiah's training and every now and again giving him pointers and demonstrating one new routine to add onto his training regiment.

She was acting like a scared, overprotective mother hen.

She didn't want to consider letting him out of her sight for even a single second.

"Is this really all you're going to do, Orphan?"

…That name still felt wrong to say.

It wasn't quite as bad as if she had decided to call herself Archer, but that didn't mean it was good.

'Orphan' was probably the second worst codename she could have given herself.

Completely understandable, given her mindset at the time, but still, generally tasteless and horrible.

For Shirou, being orphaned twice… in her twisted view of things… was a blessing. It was one of her biggest marks of pride, at least before whatever breakdown she faced inside of the Reverse Side.

The circumstances that led her to being orphaned the first time – the Great Fire of Fuyuki that had taken place at the end of the Fourth Holy Grail War – had allowed her to meet that man she so deeply admired, 'saving' her once, showing her that beautiful smile of his.

The second time she was orphaned, during that night on the porch, she received what she had perceived to be her other greatest blessing, the responsibility of seeing his dream through to the end.

Those two events led to her carrying the mark of 'being an orphan… twice' around like a badge. Rin was pretty certain if she didn't manage to ingrain the slightest bit of social etiquette and common sense into her, Shirou might have just gone around introducing herself that way to strangers, especially after that fateful day in the castle, which only led to her wearing those marks of pride even more prominently.

Now though, after their heart to heart…

Well, Shirou still seemed to not mind, treating being called the name as if it were natural.

But that fact rubbed Rin the wrong way, seeing as she had to spend an incredulous amount of effort to get her to that one conclusion – that there was still something resembling a proper person inside of her.

She had planted the seeds of a promise inside her, one that would get her to stay alive and one she knew would somehow backfire and break the poor girl's soul, and then she had to pick up the glass shards on the floor with her bare hands, and somehow have to break past the unreasonable, distorted worldview of the machine that spawned Unlimited Blade Works.

And still, even when the two of them – no, the three of them – had finally managed to break past that logic-defying distortion, and finally reach at its very core…

Still, after all of that…

Emiya Shirou still did not understand that the name 'Orphan' was not something to carry around as a badge of pride.

"…How long are you planning to keep this up?"

"…"

Rin received no response from the kitchen.

She made a bitter face.

"Are you just going to waste away for the rest of your life inside of this apartment? Are you okay just staying as you are? Not making a single further step towards your ideal, towards saving Emiya Shirou? Are you just going to linger as a fragment of a fragment of a person, never understanding what it actually means to live, or what it actually means to be happy?"

"…"

The sound of running water stopped.

Dishes clanked.

Silence.

"I get it. You're scared, Shirou. You don't want to let go of Isaiah as you are right now. He might be your only way of moving forward… but that's the thing, Shirou. You have to be moving forward. Otherwise… what's the point?"

"…"

"If you stay still, if you stagnate as you are doing right now… how is that any different from what you were before? Just reaching for the ideal, without any idea of if you were making any progress or not?"

"…"

Shirou looked down, staring at the plates in her hands thoughtlessly.

–I'm scared.
I'm scared of letting go.

If I let go of him,
…I'll be alone in the darkness.

I'll have to walk blind.

…

That scares me.

"Where, Rin?"

Despite the fact that it was a bare whisper from a room away, obscured by a set of walls, Rin received her concerns clearly.

"I don't know, Shirou." Rin collapsed further into the couch. "There's only so far I can take you, you know?"

"…"

"Right now, I don't know what you're feeling. I don't know exactly what happened in the Reverse Side. I don't know what Le Fay or her older brother means to you… I can't know any of that, Shirou. It's not my life… it's yours. It's Emiya Shirou's life."

Shirou stared at the pure white plates in her hands, a memory dredging up from the depths of her mind.

Rin continued on, her words vaguely floating into Shirou's ears.

"You're the only one who can really know what you want. Again… it's there. It's always been right there… you just have to look, Shirou. Look and listen. Look in the mirror and listen to the beat of your heart. Can you hear it? What does it tell you, Shirou?"

"…"

White porcelain stared back at Shirou.

Pure, fragile, and in a way, beautiful.

–Clean. Pure. Untouched.
Emotionless and empty.
Fragile. Brittle.

"There-… there's something."

Shirou's grip on the plates tightened.

But her gaze softened.

Her mind flashed back to that brief fleeting encounter that had occurred only a few days ago.

The ephemeral, beautiful image of that fairylike girl flashed a smile at her she thought she would only see again in the distant fantasies that plagued her at night.

…

Sometimes, the memories of those days would still come to haunt her at night.

The Fifth Holy Grail War.

The king, the knight, the lonely woman…

The one who had been by her side through all of it…

Arturia Pendragon.

–Saber.
I miss you.

However, she could not stay by her side forever.

That brave, beautiful woman, who shone like the sun, would have to one day depart.

All the regrets and burdens on her shoulder, at last had been cleared.

She departed to the past, where she had belonged, clearing the path for the future – for her.

–A thing of unparalleled beauty.
But never to be reached.
You could not hold it in your hands.

Only admire it from a distance.

…

Shirou wanted to see her again, didn't she?

She wanted to have that woman, who had found her 'Answer', just like the knight in red, by her side, just one more time.

To hear her advice, to have her comfort.

That-…

That was why she had been so happy to know that those two children, Arthur and Le Fay, existed, no?

That woman herself might have perished, now eternally resting in Avalon or the Throne of Heroes, or where ever else, but…

Some part of her legacy, what resulted from her 'Answer', still remained.

She might not have been able to deliver what she had found in her last moments directly, but maybe through those two, who shared her eyes and face, some part of it could be delivered to her.

–The king sat alone in her throne.
There was no one by her side.
Not her knights, not her servants, not her family.

"I want to see her again, Rin."

It was a simple, childish desire that exited her mouth.

Rin closed her eyes, and smiled.

It was obvious who she was talking about.

"Let's go then. I'm sure she's missed you too."

---

A wide, open field of green radiated with the warmth and gentleness of spring. The soft blades of grass sprung up to face the sun.

A plain and simple place, yet one of endless beauty and radiance.

Shirou and Rin walked through the flat field of grass slowly, keeping their eyes on what was ahead.

A ruined building awaited them, with everything but its walls corroded by the sands of time. It was meagre and unassuming, but still, somehow, it held an air of history and importance to it.

The grassy path led them inside the ruined monastery.

Inside that destroyed building, at the very centre, on a bed of grass that seemed to be on the verge of withering away, doing its best to hold on for someone who was promised to arrive, was a simple sign.

SITE OF KING ARTHUR'S TOMB

Many, many years ago, a black marble tomb would have been found here.

That tomb and the body within it had long since disappeared, gone with the wind, but something still clung on to this place.

Rin smiled, stopping a few metres away.

Shirou continued to walk forward, closer and closer.

Something warm pulsed inside of her chest.

She kneeled down, placing her hand on the ancient patch of grass.

"…Hey. Saber."

Shirou smiled, closing her eyes, envisioning the woman in her dreams standing in front of her.

Her solemn gaze, her proud figure, the resplendent sword she always held.

"I'm back… it's been a while, hasn't it?"

…

In a way, this place had been how this all started.

It was here she met Arthur and Le Fay. Their meeting led to that one coincidental meeting on the streets of London, where she had briefly shared tales of grandeur and heroes. It was on that day, in that one brief, fleeting moment in time, that she had received the mission that led to Isaiah, that led to Fiamma.

"It's spring again. Like it was last time."

And now, ten months later, after almost a full year had passed, she was back.

"But it's not ending this time… when I walk away, this moment will not fade. Spring is only just now starting… I'll carry this memory forward for at least another two months."

…

"A lot has happened…"

Shirou let out a large breath, filled with complicated emotions.

Her shoulders seemed slightly heavier after that exhale.

"A lot has happened."

She repeated, sounding tired, worn out.

…

"I'm sorry, Saber." Shirou suddenly blurted.

"I-… I know you were looking forward to it, I know there was some part of you that wanted to selfishly linger around in the present so you could hear it one day, but…"

Her lips trembled.

She opened her eyes.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to give it to you. My 'Answer'."

She didn't want to imagine that woman's reaction. She wouldn't be able to bare seeing her disappointed face.

"I don't even know if I'll be able to reach it, Saber."

Shirou pulled herself back a bit, letting her bottom drop to the floor.

She pulled her knees in, letting them point straight to the sky.

"I'm lost, Saber."

She tightly hugged her own legs, pulling them as close to her chest as she could manage.

"The path that I thought was so clear, the one I believed to obviously be the right answer, the one that I never even considered looking away from for even a second, it's… coming apart."

That warmth inside her chest pulsed sadly, as if trying to comfort her.

"No, that's… not quite right, is it? That path, it was never really the correct one in the first place, was it? I just… really, really wanted to believe I could salvage something from it. That man… EMIYA, in the end-…"

She bit her lip, looking down.

She looked down as if she was waiting, hoping, for the grass to speak back to her.

"He wasn't right."

The words were spoken with vehement denial and pure confidence, but-…

"But…"

The anger faded. An inescapable sense of grief replaced it.

"He wasn't wrong, either."

Those feelings, that anger and determination, were only there to hold together a broken machine.

"I might have been able to prove that the ideal wasn't wrong, that chasing it wasn't wrong, but… that was never the problem, was it? That was something obvious… from the very beginning, both Emiya Shirou and EMIYA should have come to that conclusion themselves a long, long time ago."

She chuckled bitterly, her laugh laced with self-loathing.

"…We should have all seen it then, shouldn't we? That itself was part of the problem… why did it take so long for Emiya Shirou to realise that one simple fact? Anyone else, anyone with a proper heart, mind and soul, would have been able to understand why they chased such a thing the moment they took that burden, but… I-… we didn't."

A warm breeze blew over them, as if the woman had heard her call from beyond and gently ushered a comforting wind towards her to bring her ease.

But in that moment, Shirou could not feel it. All she felt was something scraping at the steel beneath her skin.

"He wasn't right, Saber. The ideal was not something disgusting, not something to regret, but…"

Shirou gulped, trying to swallow down the painful feelings.

"He was correct. Emiya Shirou should not have chased it. Someone like her, as disgustingly empty and fake as she was, would never understand the true nature of that ideal. All she would have is hollow admiration and… hollow admiration can only take someone so far. It only took him so far."

Once more, the unnatural, aberrant gears inside of her groaned as they shifted.

"He found the end of the ideal, but… by then, it was worthless to the one named Emiya Shirou. The end became the breaking point. He could walk no further than that. I thought I could catch up to him, get to the same place he got to, and then go further. I thought that because I had something he didn't, the conclusion I reached on that day, I had already surpassed him, but…"

…

"All it did was make me run faster and harder, pushing me to that place, the breaking point where what I had was no longer sufficient to carry me any further, far earlier than I was prepared for."

…

"How long did that man spend yearning for the beautiful end? Was it a thousand years before he broke? One hundred? Did he break the moment he died, twenty years after he would have fought in his own Holy Grail War? Was it ten, five?"

…

"I-…"

The cold, desperate tool trembled.

"Three years, Saber."

Shirou looked up, staring right into flaring, unfettered sun.

"I couldn't even make it three years before Emiya Shirou failed me. Three years is as far as those words, 'it isn't wrong', could carry me. And now, now…"

The blinding light burned harshly into her eyes, but Shirou did not so much as flinch or squint.

"I'm lost, Saber."

She circled back to those initial words.

"I don't know what to do. I have nothing left. I'm clinging on right now, just barely… but I don't know how to move forward. I can't reach for the future, Saber… what am I supposed to do?"

Shirou lowered her head, burying it into her knees and chest.

"I wish you were here, Saber."

The red-haired girl with golden eyes felt as if she was crumbling.

"I wish I could bury myself in your arms and cry. I wish I could seek your counsel. You'd have an answer, you'd know exactly what to say to reassure me and what to say to get me walking forward again."

…

"You'd know. You do know."

…

"You've been exactly where I am before. You were right where I was when I summoned you. Broken, beaten, you had almost nothing left to live for, but you climbed back, somehow. You found it when you watched him and I do battle that day, you found it as you watched Emiya Shirou try to deny Emiya Shirou with everything he had, and as you watched Emiya Shirou deny Emiya Shirou with everything she had."

Shirou shut her eyes again, trying to escape the haunting numbness that spread inside her from the coldness of the steel underneath her skin.

"You found a way to move forward. An 'Answer'. What was it you carried with you back to that hill, Saber? What was it that you told Bedivere during your dying breaths? You never got the chance to tell me, Saber. Please… I want to know…"

Something wet pooled at the corners of her eyes.

"I need to know, Saber."

…

"If you're somewhere out there, listening to me… if you can say anything, anything at all, give me any kind of message, any form of reassurance… please, Saber, please…"

The tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Please. Help me."

The girl begged to no one.

…

…

…

*bzzzt*

Shirou froze.

All thoughts ceased. All feelings ceased. All the motion ceased. The pain faded away.

In that moment, there was nothing.

*bzzzt*

And hope came rushing in to fill that void.

Shirou's hand trembled, filled with so much nervousness, so much hope, that it struggled to move as she wished.

Shirou's heart beat, the sound of the pulsing organ becoming louder than anything she had ever heard in her life before that point.

–Saber…
Is-…

Is this you?

Her hand tightened around a sleek shell inside of her pockets.

–Did you hear me, Saber?

Rin frowned, taking notice of Shirou's movements.

She took a step closer towards her friend.

Shirou's wavering hand slowly found the strength to wrap its fingers around the object, pulling it out.

Shirou held the phone in front of her.

…It was the phone that Ciel had given each member of their team as a part of their mission.

Hesitantly, she flipped it open.

An unknown number sent her two messages.

She gingerly clicked a button, opening the texts.

?: Emiya, this is your number, right? I got this from your teammates.

?: This is Mordred. Listen, I need a favour from you. The brat, Arthur, he's been calling your name for the past few minutes. Get to Carlisle. Fast. You have eight hours before it's too late.

The throbbing sensation inside of her chest went from one of hope to one of agony.

–Please, Arthur…
No…

I don't want you to leave me too.

She shut the phone's screen, and tightly held the device in both of her hands.

–I don't know what happened…
But please…

Please–

Shirou got up on shaky legs, and wiped the tears away from her face.

"Sorry, Rin."

She mumbled hastily, turning around and trying to scurry away.

"I-I have somewhere I need to go. It's urgent. I'll be home so-"

"Wait."

Rin grabbed onto Shirou's wrist, locking her in place.

"Rin, I don't have time, I need t-"

"I'm coming with you."

"…"

Her words silenced Shirou.

"I know it can't be pleasant just by looking at your face. That's why I'm going with you, Shirou."

Rin narrowed her eyes, huffing.

"I let you out of my sight and let you just walk off into the distance once already. Look at where that got us… I'm not letting it happen a second time, Shirou."

…

A truly grateful smile formed on Shirou's wobbling lips.

"Thank you, Rin."

–Thanks, Rin.
I mean it.

…

I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you by my side.

---

The pair had arrived at their destination.

Rin had no expectations for whatever place they were going to, so when she was confronted with the sight, she had no idea how to react.

Shirou, however…

A massive pit formed at the bottom of her stomach, slowly dragging down whatever was left of her soul.

–Please, Arthur…
Please, be okay…

The grand manor that had stood loftily only days before was now in ruin.

Half of the building had been reduced to rubble, and whatever was left of the rest of it was heavily damaged, its outer layers torn off, exposing wooden beams and supports.

The roof had been entirely blown away, the light of the now setting sun harshly pouring into the building.

Blood.

Blood was splattered everywhere.

It was on the pavement, it dripped down from the fences, it muddied the grass to the point all of it had turned dark red and ugly brown, it splattered onto the walls…

There was no corner the foul-smelling substance did not reach.

There were bodies, too. Hundreds, if not dozens.

Impaled onto the sharp fences. Buried beneath rubble. Lying in massive craters of dirt, where ash and smoke still drifted off. Pinned to the wall by ancient blades.

It had looked like hell had manifested in this place.

Rin wrinkled her nose at the smell and winced at the sight.

For Shirou, such a hellscape was normal.

A woman sternly stood at the front of the building, leaning against a remnant of a wall.

"Emiya." She nodded gruffly, acknowledging her as the two approached.

Her eyes slowly drifted to the side.

"You've brought a companion."

Rin narrowed her eyes, examining the familiar looking woman in front of her.

"Tohsaka Rin."

Mordred briefly glanced back at Shirou.

"I don't think I've heard anyone in your team mention her."

"No." Rin shook her head. "I'm a personal friend. I'm with Shirou for personal reasons."

"…" Mordred closed her eyes for a second, reflecting on Rin's words. "I suppose that makes sense. She did come out of the Reverse Side in rather rough condition. Spent a few days in a coma before she was up and walking again. And even then, seemed like a zombie."

She coughed into her hand.

"Mordred Pendragon VIII. Bastard and cursed child."

She pointed her thumb at the broken door behind her, looking back towards Shirou.

"The br-… Arthur… is inside. Up the stairs, second door to the left."

"…"

Shirou stepped inside, pushing past the broken door, which was barely hanging on by half a hinge.

All the internal décor had been torn off.

The tapestries laid on the floor in tatters.

The paintings ripped in half and dirtied with blood.

And the swords…

They were entirely absent.

Likely, they were now buried inside the bodies she had found earlier.

She ignored the horrible sights, following Mordred's directions.

Up the stairs, second door to the left.

As the trio came closer and closer, a soft voice could be heard.

Sobbing.

It seemed to never stop.

Shirou hesitated as she placed her hands on the flimsy doorknob.

–I…
I don't know if I want to open it.

If I open it, and I see…

…

Her heart ached.

Somehow, in the nothing inside her heart, she found the strength to push the door open.

A young boy could be found bowing his head down to a bad, an indistinguishable person resting inside of it, their face being blocked from view by the boy's trembling, crying body.

A small girl sat next to the boy, huddling her tiny arms around him, trying to offer him whatever tiny comfort she could.

His painful cries echoed across the walls.

"…"

No thoughts came to Shirou in that moment.

No feelings either.

His tormented sobs pushed away all thoughts inside of her mind.

"…How much do you know about the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn?"

Mordred asked a seemingly random question, leaning against one of the walls and staring at the crying boy.

It was Rin who answered her.

"A rising cabal from the very beginning of the 20th Century. One of the most prominent and famous to ever exist. They reached such an incredible level of influence and power that their name leaked into common society."

"Mm." Mordred nodded. "Do you know how they fell?"

"…It took a while, but it started in April 1900."

Rin recalled the information with ease.

It was common knowledge for any magus who lived in London.

"Leading up to that day, Golden Dawn was preparing to challenge the Clock Tower itself. They wanted full control over the world's supernatural matters. Aleister Crowley, one of the most infamous magi in history, dissatisfied with their direction, chose to work with the Clock Tower to destroy them from the inside. 19th April, 1900, he forged an order under Mather's name to besiege Blythe Road, an event that eventually led to their total collapse."

"…And after that?"

"…"

Rin sighed.

"Nothing. The Clock Tower tried to keep tabs on Aleister Crowley's life, but they were not concerned with the remnants of Golden Dawn. The organisation had been destroyed, there was no concern of them ever returning."

"Sounds about right." Mordred nodded. "The Pendragon family kept their ears a bit closer to the ground. Golden Dawn, its legacy and its remnants, turned into a laughing stock to the supernatural world outside of the Clock Tower. Their name was spoken of in scorn, their personnel and accomplishments ridiculed to no end. Where ever their remnants went, where ever they tried to re-establish themselves… they were met with nothing more than disgust and hatred. As it stands, they're the lowest of the low. The most worthless scum, not even worth comparing to sewer rats."

"…" Rin frowned.

Was that truly the fate of what had once been one of the most towering powers of the Moonlit World?

"That girl on the bed, that's Elaine Westcott."

""!""

Shirou and Rin instantly reacted to the mention of her name.

"Told you about her before, right?"

"…" Shirou slowly nodded. "Yeah. Arthur's lover, and Le Fay's maid, right? And likely, a descendant of William Wynn Westcott, one of the original members of Golden Dawn."

"Mm."

Shirou started to quiver again.

Rattling steel could be heard inside of her if one listened closely.

"…I met her just a few days ago." She whispered lowly. "…She said she was going to visit Arthur here… what… what happened, Mordred?"

"…" Mordred just scoffed. "The old farts happened."

"…"

"Westcott was never supposed to be in our, sorry, their employment. I couldn't give less of a shit, but they're obsessed over her 'disgusting, insulting, lowly' origins. She would have been kicked out on the spot, if not executed right there and then for daring to stand up to them, the moment her lineage was discovered."

"What happened?"

"She impressed the Young Lady." She tilted her head towards the small girl. "Despite the legacy of her family, Westcott's a genius witch. During those first few days where no one paid her any attention, she managed to teach Le Fay a few things about magic. That was enough for the girl to come to her defence when she was persecuted. She took Westcott as her personal maid and tutor, ignoring the orders of the elders."

"…They weren't happy, were they?"

"No, they weren't." Mordred shook her head. "They didn't like her any more after the Young Lord, Arthur, got attached to her. That got them really mad."

"…"

"That was where we were when we last met. Arthur got in hot water with the elders, I picked him up. A few days ago, the elders heard about Le Fay running away from the main household to sneak over to my place, and that was when the straw snapped."

Mordred briefly uncrossed her arms to gesture at the destroyed room around them.

"It was two things at once. They were tired of my 'cursed' influence ruining the family, seemingly getting the Young Lady to betray them, and tired of Westcott's 'rotten' lineage, seducing their heir and spiriting away their other pawn. They waited for Arthur to step outside to keep him from harm, and the moment Westcott and I were left alone, they all came at once. Result is what you saw outside. And…"

She stared at the unconscious body on the bed.

"That. I failed Arthur. Couldn't keep her safe. Not entirely."

The harrowing cries once more overpowered Shirou's thoughts.

"…"

She stepped forward, walking like a machine.

The sound of approaching footsteps managed to gain the attention of one of the crying children.

Le Fay slowly turned around, her face red and puffy.

"S-Ser Tristan…"

–…

I hate it.

Hearing that innocent child speak in such a despairing, hopeless tone made Shirou feel as if a sword stabbed straight through her glass heart.

…No, it would be even worse than that.

Physical pain… it had never truly bothered her that much. It was just something she had to overcome in order to save someone.

This…

There was no way she could push past this. She had no idea what there was to hold onto to fight against this incredibly, incredibly wrong feeling inside of her.

Arthur, finally, turned around. It was her sister mentioning that name, which finally roused him from his endless grief and sorrow.

"Ser Tristan…" He called out, almost sounding like he was begging, breathlessly, barely able to get a whisper out past his worn vocal chords. "…You came…"

He trembled at the mere sight of her, and threatened to break down on the spot instantly, struggling to hold back the choked sobs.

He looked at her like she was hope itself.

–…

I'm not.

I can't be.

I'm just Emiya Shirou.

I-…

I can't save anyone, no matter how hard I try.

Another sword stabbed through her glass heart.

The blade's name was earth-crushing disappointment.

She had let someone down.

She wasn't there to save them.

"The girl's not dead." Mordred called from behind them, still leaning against the wall.

Rin had stayed back with her. Right now was not the time or place to interfere.

"But if nothing happens in the next two and a half hours, she will be. That's how long it will take for the poison in her wounds to kill her."

Shirou's fingers balled into fists.

She clenched.

Hard.

Blood dripped down onto the floor from her palms. It was barely noticeable, it just mixed with all the blood that was already on the floor.

"Arthur cried for your name. You're the only person he knows outside of the Pendragons… you're his only hope."

–Me…?

…What am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to save anyone?

Slowly, very slowly, Shirou stepped forward.

She looked at the body on the bed.

White. Completely white. Her lips were blue.

There was not even enough left in the teenager's body to produce sweat.

She was as good as dead. As far as any outsider was concerned, they were looking at a corpse.

…

Shirou's fist shook.

–…What am I doing here?

She pulled out a chair and sat down next to Arthur, sitting next to the crying boy.

"Ser Tristan…" The boy cried. "Please… please, you have to do something."

"…"

"You have to be able to save her. Please…"

'Save her'.

…

'Save her'.

…

The words echoed uselessly.

"Ser Tristan, don't you have anything you can do?"

Words came to Shirou.

She bit down on her tongue.

–I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it.
I'm not going to say it I'm not going to say it I'm not going to say it

"I don't."

"W-what…?" The boy's hopes shattered. His face fell. His reddened eyes, devoid of all their light, fell to the floor. "N-no…"

Still, even as his only hope withered away into dust, he tried to hold on. He tightly held his hands together, not letting any of the dust fall away.

"Y-you're one of the King's Knights, aren't you? You're Ser Tristan… you've always been able to overcome the odds, you've always been able to win… please…"

"…"

"You have to have something…"

"…"

"Please."

Blood from Shirou's palm fell onto her lap.

She shut her eyes, the screaming pain inside her becoming overbearing.

–I can't, Arthur.
I can't save her.
The only thing I can do…

Is pray.

I can only pray to the nothing inside me.

Pray that a miracle comes.

And so, not wanting to fail the boy, the last remnant of that proud woman's legacy, Shirou prayed.

She prayed with all of her crumbling heart and empty soul.

She prayed with everything Emiya Shirou could muster, and everything Emiya Shirou couldn't muster.

–Please.

Saber…

Show me something…

Please…

Let me save this boy…

I don't know what that means…

I don't care what it means…

I-I…

I just don't want to see him cry any more.

Please.

Please.

She prayed out to the nothing, begging for a miracle to come.

…

…

…

Something warm pulsed inside of her.

–…

…?

It was hot. But not painful.

Like a campfire in the middle of a blizzard. Like a good, hearty barbecue on a blazing summer day.

Something bright flickered in the blackness of her eyelids.

–Gol-…

-den?

Her heart thumped.

Emiya Shirou reached out to the nothing, and the nothing reached back.

A pleasant, organic warmth rested in the centre of her palms.

–I…

I know this light.

From beyond the grave, Arturia Pendragon answered Shirou's prayer.

–The knight stood in the shed, answering the call to her master.
"My blade is yours."
Master and servant, friends, allies in combat, sword and sheath, and much, much more…
They were bound together beyond time and space, beyond the past and present, and beyond life and death.

"A-…" Shirou whispered in disbelief, so quietly that no one could hear her. "-va…lon."

–Even if their contract no longer existed, the bond was still there.

She would still protect her, even beyond her end.

Shirou felt her face twisting.

She couldn't see the expression on her face, but she probably didn't need to.

There was an ugly, truly ugly, smile on her face.

Her face warped and twisted in a demented way, a look of sheer elation and happiness poking through the steel underneath her skin.

For a moment, the eternally rotating gears inside of her seemed to stop groaning.

For just a split-second, she could feel flesh inside of her, and not steel.

–I can do it.

A simple, hopeful thought echoed in Shirou's mind.

–I can do it.
I-…

I can save someone.

I can save him.

I don't have to watch your legacy cry out in pain and slowly disappear as the sadness overcomes him.

Her fists trembled in quiet excitement.

"Arthur…" She tried to keep her voice as soft as possible.

"S-Ser Tristan?" The boy blinked up at her, the remnants of once-hopeful tears still stuck in his eyes.

From beyond the grave, Saber gave her hope.

She gave her him.

Avalon had not been a consideration at all. It was all but useless to her now.

All of its energy had been consumed a long, long time ago. And without the presence of its owner, the sheath had no way of restoring its energy.

The only time she had ever been able to feel the warmth of its light after the end of the Holy Grail War was during those two visits to Glastonbury Abbey, right when she was hovering over Arturia's grave.

She never thought she'd feel the full force of its protective light again.

She never thought she'd feel the hope that could be found inside that holy artifact ever again.

But she did.

Because he was there.

Arthur Pendragon.

That woman, Arturia Pendragon, reached out across time and space and life and death, and gave her a miracle.

A boy with her eyes and her face. A boy fated to become a great king, like she once was.

Legends stated that the King of Knights would never truly die, he would merely return to the land of fairies, Avalon, where he would rest until he was ready to return to guide his people in their time of need.

The Once and Future King, they called him.

In a way, those legends were not wrong.

The woman herself would never return, having found her peace and laid her regrets to rest, but her bloodline still went on.

And this boy, Arthur Pendragon, was born.

In her stead, he would lead them.

The proof was right there, inside of her heart.

Avalon recognised him as its proper owner.

If it was Avalon, then…

It was possible for this girl to live.

"Do you… truly love her? Elaine Westcott?" Shirou asked the boy.

"I do." The boy nodded resolutely, pushing past the tears and sobs. "With all of my heart and soul. She is the one I promise my whole life and future to."

"And you will never, ever regret that?"

"I won't." He nodded resolutely again. "Even if she betrays me, even if she dies. She is the only one in my eyes."

"And you wish to save her?"

"I do."

Shirou smiled tenderly.

She slowly moved her left hand towards Arthur's, holding his wrist. The warmth grew even stronger.

"Close your eyes, Arthur."

"…?" Arthur blinked up at her, confused.

"If you wish to see her live again… then do as I say, okay?"

The boy nodded, still uncertain, and went along with her words.

"…Hold your hand out to her."

Shirou let go of his hand, leaving him alone in the cold darkness.

His wavering hands slowly did as she asked, hovering over the all but dead girl's body.

"Call upon those feelings. Those memories. That happiness, that joy. Your wishes, dreams and prayers. Everything you wanted to do with her in the future, every moment of happiness you shared with her in the past. Hold all of it, the past, present, and future that you hold so dear… hold all of it in your hands."

The boy's hands trembled and tensed, as he summoned every last ounce of love into his fingers.

Tears spilled from his closed eyes as all those dear memories came flooding in.

"I-it hurts, Ser Tristan."

Shirou stood up. "Don't let go of it. That tight, burning ache in your chest… no matter what, you have to cling onto that, Arthur."

"I-I will, Ser Tristan."

Shirou loosely cupped her hands in front of her heart.

She closed her eyes.

A faint glimmer of light escaped into the real world.

Shirou reached out to the very centre of her heart, beyond all the nothingness inside of her core, and pushed.

She pushed further and further, climbing deeper and deeper into the abyss.

The steel gears and cogs inside of her groaned and creaked, the stress of her soul-diving threatening to tear her apart.

The blades underneath her skin sharpened and sharpened, digging inside of her flesh.

It hurt.

But still, Shirou continued to reach.

Further and further, into the nothing, until finally…

…

A faint gleam of light touched her finger tips.

Instantly, the pain inside of her started to fade.

The mechanical clockwork inside of her started to turn backwards, reversing and unwinding, the stress fading away.

The edges of the thousand blades inside of her smoothened and dulled.

She reached forward.

She reached forward and–

""!"" Mordred and Le Fay's eyes widened, almost losing their balance from their shock.

Something flashed.

Hope itself materialised into the world.

A blinding, welcoming golden light, like the dawn of the sun crystallised and compressed into a tiny ball, illuminated the entire room.

"That's-!" Mordred guffawed, not believing what she was seeing before her.

Le Fay simply burst into tears of gratitude, recognising the corporeal salvation that had been summoned.

Rin just chuckled, shaking her head.

"…Of course. The answer was inside her all along."

She looked straight into the dazzling light, not threatened at all by its blinding intensity.

"You're still here, after all this time, huh? Saber… even now, you seem to not quite be able to let her suffer alone."

She smiled, bowing her head in thanks.

"Thanks, Saber. Really."

Arthur's eyebrows wavered, concerned over the reactions of those he could hear around him.

"S-Ser Tristan, w-what's-?"

"Focus, Arthur."

"…"

Shirou opened her eyes, looking at the object that had been materialised between her cupped hands.

Some saw salvation.

Some saw utopia.

Some saw victory.

Some saw their dreams and wishes.

Others still saw hope.

Perhaps for Arthur, it would be all of those things…

But for her…

–Thank you, Saber.

All Shirou saw was one last favour from a dear friend.

Overcome by sudden weakness, Shirou let herself collapse into the chair beneath her, admiring the object buried deep within that brilliant light.

"Do you feel that, Arthur?"

Shirou closed her eyes, letting a peaceful smile come over her face.

She relaxed, sinking her shoulders down and letting the comforting radiance of an old friend wash over every crevasse in her body.

"I-I do." Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, focusing on the inexplicable warmth.

It was foreign, something he had never felt before, but yet…

It felt as if it belonged. Like he had found some part of him that should have always been there.

His heart beat loudly inside his chest, pulsing with so much emotion it felt as if it would break his own ribcage.

The sorrow inside of his heart simply…

Started to melt away.

His tired, shaky arms loosened and relaxed.

His broken vocal cords started to stitch themselves back together.

The warmth blew the tears away from his face.

"Bring it down towards you, Arthur. Drag it down, not with your hands, but the feelings inside of them. Pull and beckon it. Use all of those feelings and memories inside of your hand to grasp that warmth."

The corporeal salvation slowly drifted downwards, its glow intensifying as it came closer and closer to reuniting with its owner, just as was promised.

Finally, Avalon was once again in the hands of the King.

"Clasp your fingers around it."

Arthur let his splayed fingers curl in.

"!"

They came into contact with something hard.

This feeling… this object…

Why did he feel like he should know its name?

No, he did know its name.

He just-… couldn't remember it.

What was it?

"Push those feelings and memories in your hand towards it. Use it as a channel and focus, and send those thoughts directly towards Elaine."

The golden light slowly dimmed as it was absorbed by Arthur's person, leaving only a faintly glowing sheath behind.

Faint beams of light wafted off of it, drifting off in wispy waves towards the girl on the bed.

Colour returned to her skin.

Her brittle hair seemed to loosen and come back to life.

Her lips wettened, regaining a light pink tone.

Beneath the bloody blanket laid over her, the gaping wounds in her abdomen started to heal, almost looking like time was going backwards, up until it reached a point where those wounds never existed in the first place.

A finger twitched.

Elaine shifted around, feeling something call out to her from her sleep.

–Warm…

A memory crossed her mind.

A boy, one and a half years younger than her, held out his hand.

A smile bloomed on his face.

–Ar-…
-thur?

She reached out to the apparition.

Her eyed honed in on her fingers, as they came closer and closer to meeting the boy's, and–

"Mm…"

She groaned, opening her soft brown eyes.

Arthur's eyes snapped open upon hearing that soft moan.

"Elaine!" He cried out.

Without a second thought, he dropped the object in his hands and dove straight for the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around the newly woken girl.

"A-Arthur!" Elaine yelped in surprise, still not fully conscious.

The sobs broke out once more.

"Elaine!" The young boy strengthened his arms' grip around the maid. "Elaine… thank God… thank God… thank God…"

He broke down in tears, burying his head into the older girl's shoulder.

"I-I was…" Elaine slowly collected her scattered consciousness. "…dying?"

"No…" Arthur shook his head, his voice quivering. "Not anymore… you're safe now. You're safe. You're alive… you won't die… not today."

His hug tightened even further, like he believed that she was a ghost that would fade away if he let go for even a second.

"A-Arthur…" Elaine felt her breathing get constricted from the sheer tightness of his embrace. "L-let go by a bit… I-I can't breathe…"

Nevertheless, glad to be reunited with the boy who loved her, she embraced him back.

The two closed their eyes, satisfied to let go of the world around them and simply relish in the other's warmth, needing nothing more than the other's presence in that moment.

After thirty seconds or so, Mordred chuckled.

"Hell, Emiya… I know you had some relation to Avalon, but… to think you carried it on you?"

She shook her head, amused.

"Thought never crossed my mind a single time. Maybe the boy's onto something, calling you Ser Tristan."

The presence of a third party managed to snap the couple out of their trance.

Elaine turned her head around, sweeping her gaze across the room.

Le Fay, Lady Mordred, a woman she'd never seen before, Arthur, and-

"!" Elaine immediately froze up a bit, quickly bowing her head towards the last figure. "S-Ser Tristan!"

"…There's no need to bow."

Elaine hesitantly lifted her head.

"Were… you the one to save me?"

"No." Shirou deflected her question. "It was Arthur who did everything."

The boy in question bristled.

"Ser Tristan, that's nonsense, you were the one who gave me the means to-"

His hand quickly shot backwards, reaching for that strange object he had just held in his hands.

His fingers touched on a warm, metal surface.

Strangely, as if compelled, his head snapped towards it as well.

Arthur froze.

"T-this…"

His jaw dropped.

He'd be a fool not to recognise what he was currently holding in his hands.

Elaine's gaze slowly dropped as well.

"…!" Much like the others, she was stunned speechless.

Shirou just chuckled.

"I wasn't doing anything, really."

Arthur's head swung the other direction.

"Ser Tristan, I can't possibly accept such a gift! Such a treasure is not one I am worthy to hold!"

Shirou just shook her head.

"I didn't decide that you were worthy, Arthur."

She pointed at the thing, that crystallised hope.

"Avalon did. I was just returning it to its proper owner."

"…" Arthur wordlessly stared down at the golden object in his hands, letting himself be amazed by the relic.

"I've been holding onto it for a while now, you know, Arthur? It's been waiting a very long time to finally reunite with its proper owner. As one of the King's knights and friends… I took it upon myself to carry it until that time would come."

"I-I-…"

Arthur had no idea what to say.

He still couldn't properly wrap his head around the idea that Avalon had chosen him.

Avalon…

The Everdistant Utopia. True salvation materialised into this world by hopes and dreams. A protective light that could not be broken by any weapon or by any hatred.

Arthur's arms trembled.

He bowed his head.

"Thank you, Ser Tristan."

"…I didn't do anything."

"Thank you."

"…"

Elaine slowly turned around to the other side of the room.

"Young Lady…"

"E-Elaine…" Le Fay eyes became teary, and her face puffed up.

"It's… good to see you again."

"Elaine!" Le Fay jumped forward, much like her brother, and sobbed right into her maid and tutor's chest.

"It's fine. It's all fine now… I'm alive. I'm safe."

Mordred cracked a truly genuine smile.

"If there's one thing in the world that can guarantee a happy end… it would have to be Avalon."

She groaned lightly, taking herself off the wall and approaching the group.

After another minute of so of tears, Le Fay finally broke away from Elaine.

"So…" Mordred exhaled deeply. "What now?"

Arthur looked down, biting his lip.

"So long as they know Elaine's here… the attacks won't stop, will they?"

Mordred grunted.

"No. Sorry."

Arthur tightened his fingers around Avalon.

"Then we can't stay here."

"No, you can't."

Le Fay's eyes widened as she caught onto Arthur's train of thought.

"O-older Brother, y-you can't be thinking of-!"

"Elaine and I will have to run away, then."

"…" Mordred sighed. "I suppose you will."

"Y-you can't, Older Brother, you'll constantl-"

"I know, Le Fay, I know." His voice was bitter.

"…" Le Fay lowered her head.

"It's not going to be easy. We'll constantly be on the run from Pendragon assassins. If we ever show our face in public, if we ever stay in one place for too long… they'll know. But it's the only option we have. I'm not letting her die. And I'm not leaving her side, Le Fay."

"…I understand…" Le Fay backed down, slowly sinking back into her seat.

Mordred's eyes lazily flickered over the group.

"Go pack your things. You'll need to le-"

"I'm coming with you!" The young girl screamed.

Arthur frowned.

"Le Fay, there's no need for that. You're completely innocent and uninvolved in all of this. You just need to go back home. The elders will not bring harm to you."

"I don't care about that!" The young girl jumped up from her seat, stomping onto the ground. "I don't care about those stupid old men! I care about you, brother! I care about Elaine! I'm not letting you two go out there alone!"

"…" Arthur made a sullen face. "There's nothing I can do to change your mind, is there?"

Shirou, who perhaps knew that face better than anyone in that room, shook her head.

"No, Arthur. You're not."

Arthur turned towards her.

"Ser Tristan…"

He bowed his head again.

"Thank you."

"…" Slowly, the sadness started to flow back into Shirou.

–This…
This is it, isn't it?

"Truly, thank you. There are no words I can use to express how much you have done for me, and there is no gift I can ever give to pay you back for this."

She wasn't sure how, but Shirou somehow found something inside of her that let her smile, despite the overwhelming sorrow that was slowly flooding in.

–This is goodbye, isn't it?

This will be the last time I ever see you, Arthur.

…

This will be the last time I ever hear your voice, Saber.

The last time I'll ever feel your warmth.

"There is one thing you can do." Shirou whispered, the flesh inside of her slowly turning back into her steel.

The organ at her very centre, her heart, which for a moment, was pure and organic, pumping fresh blood into her body, turned back into glass.

"Avalon." Her gaze slowly shifted towards the artifact that once saved her thirteen years ago. "Please, take care of it for me, would you? It means a lot to me."

Arthur looked over the sheath.

His hands hovered over it, and in a flash of light, it disappeared.

"I will."

He brought his hand to his chest, where he could feel its protective light resting within.

Shirou reached out, extending one of her fingers and gingerly stroking Arthur's hair.

That incredibly dull ache filled the inside of her body again.

"Take care."

And she could do nothing about it.

A few minutes later, everyone had gathered up at the front of the destroyed manor, ready to part ways.

Arthur inhaled deeply, carrying nothing more than his family sword in his hands and a small bag on his back.

"Aunty Mordred." He bowed deeply towards his guardian. "Thank you for taking care of me these past few weeks. My time here… has been invaluable. My brief stay has taught me many things, and much the world has been opened up to my eyes."

"Heh." Mordred smirked. "Just be sure to kick the asses of any assassins that come your way, 'kay? Aside from today, haven't had the chance to beat up those old fart's tools in what? Fifteen years?"

"None of them will lay a hand on Elaine." He nodded.

Next, he turned to Shirou.

"Ser Tristan… I've already expressed my gratitude, but again, thank you."

"…Just take care, okay?"

Arthur lifted his head, looking to his side.

"Le Fay… is there anything you want to say?"

His younger sister looked at him, then towards Shirou.

"I'm going to miss you, Ser Tristan." She bit her lip.

"…"

"I-I really wanted to have just one more chance. I wanted to sit down at that café with you one more time."

"I-… I did too."

Le Fay didn't look up once as she aired that last regret.

She didn't want her idol to see what face she was making.

She was likely not aware that Shirou was doing the same thing.

Arthur, Elaine and Le Fay all turned around, ready to leave for an unknown destination.

Shirou could do nothing but watch as they all walked away.

–Away from my sight.

Her hands trembled.

–I-…

I only met you thrice, Arthur.

You're nothing more than a stranger but…

I don't want you to leave.

I don't know if you'll ever understand this but…
I wanted to be by your side.
I wanted to see you grow up.
I wanted to see that light in your eyes get hammered and refined.

I-…

I-…

The steel inside of her sharpened, drawing blood once more.

This time, without the passive effects of Avalon, the pain was more salient then ever.

–I'm breaking that promise…

Aren't I?

I'm letting something escape my vision.

I'm looking away from someone.

I'm just letting them fend for themselves.

I-I can't.

I'm sorry, I cant-

Shirou impulsively stepped forward, unable to stop the desire from bursting inside of her.

Luckily, Rin's eyes snapped towards her the moment she so much as twitched.

Her hand whipped out, holding Shirou back.

"Shirou."

"Rin, I'm sorry. I-I just can't stay still. I have to follow them."

"Shirou."

"I have to be by their side. It's dangerous. I-I'm not going to-"

"Shirou."

"…"

"…"

The tears began falling down Shirou's face.

"I promised, Rin. I promised. I promised to him I wasn't going to abandon anyone. I wouldn't let anyone who entered my sight leave. I'd save everyone, Rin."

"…"

"I can't just stand here while they walk off to God knows where. I-I need to save them, Rin, I need to-"

"There isn't anything for you to save, Shirou."

Shirou looked down.

She stopped trying to struggle.

"You've already done all that you could. You've already given them salvation. For God's sake, Shirou, you gave them Avalon."

Rin sighed.

"What are you going to do if you go with them, huh? How long are you just going to disappear and travel with them, doing your best to protect them? Five years, ten, twenty? During that time, how many other people are you turning away from?"

She looked towards the horizon, where the silhouettes of those three grew more and more distant.

"And besides, Shirou. Look at them."

And she did.

"Do they look unprepared? Do they look unwilling? Do they look like they need to be saved? They know what they're getting into, Shirou. They know how dangerous it is… and they're willing to fight with everything they have to protect their happiness."

Shirou trembled.

Something inside of her began to crack and shatter again.

No matter what, there was no way out.

That promise she made…

"I'm breaking that promise, Rin. I'm just… letting them disappear into somewhere I can't help."

Like those three words, that promise could carry her no further.

This was the limit of the fuel for that engine.

"What am I supposed to do, Rin?"

Rin sighed.

"Are you just going to take it as it is, Shirou?"

"…"

"Think for just a moment. There's not a lot that Emiya Shirou can understand, or much that she's capable of… but there has to be something, no? The Emiya Shirou that I know… she wasn't a person who ever resigned herself to anything. She always made promises. Not because she thought she would keep them, but because by making one, she could have something to hold onto when the future came."

Shirou looked down.

–A promise…
Right…
I never made that promise because I thought it would be easy to keep, did I?

I almost certainly knew I would fail, over and over and over.

A promise…

Her fist clenched.

–A promise.

And she moved.

This time, Rin let her go.

Shirou ran forward, sparkling tears falling to the ground behind her.

"Arthur, wait!"

The boy paused.

He turned around.

The boy's back was lit by the backdrop of the setting sun.

"Arthur…" Shirou softly cried out.

She swallowed all of it, her fears, her regrets and her sorrow, down.

"Make me a promise."

"…"

"I don't care what it is. It can be anything at all. Just make me a promise. Make me a promise so I know that you'll grow up safe, so that I can sleep at night knowing you're out there, that you'll always be healthy and strong."

The boy-…

No, the future king, looked down at the sword in his hands.

He nodded to himself.

He raised the sword, holding it up in front of him.

"Ser Tristan, I promise you this as Arthur Pendragon, on the sword Caliburn. I'll grow up healthy and strong. I'll become a great swordsman and leader so that one day, when I am old enough… I will return to Britain and claim leadership of the Pendragon household."

He stared at the woman he admired with blazing sapphire eyes.

"Someday, I'll grow to become a worthy king. A king worthy of a Round Table. On that day, Ser Tristan… I will come back."

He lowered the shining sword, which had once been used to select a great king, and bowed his head solemnly.

"And I will be a king worthy enough to have you as my knight."

Shirou cried.

The tears freely streamed down her face.

She did nothing to hold back the noises in her throat.

–This is goodbye.
This is the last time I'll see you for maybe a decade.
I'm sad. I'm heartbroken.

But this–

And still, she smiled.

She smiled a truly genuine, truly beautiful smile.

–I'm happy.
I'm grateful.

Why am I smiling so widely?

Why am I filled with so much–

"Alright. It's a promise."

–Why do I want to believe in this hope so much?

The three figures turned around one last time, walking into horizon and disappearing beneath the sunset.

They were going somewhere that Emiya Shirou could not follow.

They were walking towards their futures.

---

The king bids farewell.

She has lost her only belief; 'it isn't wrong' carried her as far as it could.

She has lost her one promise; she was forced to turn around, let someone walk out of her sight.

The sword is sad, having lost something important, but still, remains hopeful.

Tears are not always tragic.

Welcome to the bottom.

A very, very inactive chapter. Slow and personal. It has to be.

This is not a matter that can be solved by running into it head first, with swords and magic.

The only solution to this conundrum is the human heart.

Such is the focus of this arc.

Emiya Shirou's 'Heart of Glass'.

In other words, without the poetry and flower language:

Rin gaslights the shit out of Shirou.

Time for the return of the dreaded bolded paragraphs.

…We didn't get to see much of Arthur, did we? Well, part of that is intentional, but if I could, I would go and add one more interaction between the king and the woman he perceives to be a knight of old back in one of the chapters from before this story's revival.

I get why people usually set their UBW stories in the good end; because it's a nice fantasy. This pleasant dream where all of our heroes can stay together, live together, pursue the future as a single group. Emiya Shirou never needs to let go of everything, he can have it all, Tohsaka Rin, Arturia Pendragon, and his ideal.

It's a far more idyllic life and ending compared to the melancholy of the True End, where Emiya Shirou must face the future by himself, with only Rin to guide him on his path. But there is also a reason that end is the True End.

Ultimately, the world continues to turn, and we must move on. Leave the past where it is and plant your feet in the present, looking forward. Arturia Pendragon's life is over, she has no place in Shirou's journey. He has to go somewhere she cannot reach – the future.

I remember saying before that I liked writing the Saber of UBW's True End (well, writing 'Saber' is a bit of a stretch, considering she doesn't directly appear at all, but I think you get the idea) more than Fate when I first published the story, and I stand by that.

Again, just to refresh and reiterate, I do not have problems with the Fate Route. It is fine, I like it as well. But it is a wholly complete story and arc unto itself, leaving nothing to be developed on, nothing to be speculated on. There are no ideas for me to wishfully expand on in Fate's Arturia Pendragon.

Saber's final scene in UBW, in the original VN, is a thing of beauty. A final meditative reflection on everything. Kiritsugu, his order, her mistake. And that boy. She looks towards the future, seeing the knight in red. Everyone has moved on. Everyone except for her. Some part of her wishes to linger around, to see Shirou's path to the end, but she knows it is not her place. For him to move forward, for him to be pushed into the future, the past must be let go of. She cannot stay by his side. The knight in red found his answer, she had to find hers too. Back on that hill, back with that sword.

Arturia Pendragon has reached her end. Emiya Shirou, who exists far past her 'present', who exists in her 'future', in a way, still has some part of her by his side. She will always be there, in that tomb in Glastonbury, smiling upon him.

She has found what he was looking for, an answer. A treasure trove of answers, of reliefs and comforts, of truths of the ideal… that he will never, ever reach. She can never give him what she found in her last moments.

But in this story… the invisible hands of fate move. One last remnant of her legacy faces Shirou. Through him, everything is seen, everything is delivered.

Somehow, even though she's dead, this is Saber's chapter. In this small, personal story, her shadow can be felt, lingering over the shoulders of everyone in the second half.

I've drawn on the VN for the most part when it comes to this story, but this chapter definitely is rooted in the final episode of the anime, an extended version of UBW's epilogue. I genuinely think that's the best part about it, and I think part of my appreciation shows in this chapter.

(completely unrelated but adult rin with hair down who is just 100% chill is best girl)

In a way, this is what A0C1 should have been. Time does wonders, huh?

By the way, on a second completely unrelated note, I rewatched that last episode to refresh everything. Let me tell you, it was actually a COMPLETE coincidence that Shirou visited Saber's grave in this story at six months after moving to London, the same as in that episode. Legitimately fucking wild lmao.

Also on that same note, I remember going on that rant in A0C5 about not really getting some things about why a post-UBW Shirou is written a certain way in most fics, and after rewatching the last episode of the anime, I definitely see how that idea spread throughout the fandom, since it is a rather beautiful episode. The problem I think ultimately stems from the fact that it builds off the anime's Shirou vs Archer fight, which in my eyes, is a flawed adaptation and understanding of the original sequence.

(I think the thing to point out in particular here is Rin saying something along the lines of 'You're probably going to end up walking the same path as him. The difference might just be how far you can go.' Which… I think is a gross misunderstanding of the VN)

I take back some of what I said during that note on Kanshou and Bakuya, but not all of it. Most of it still stands. I just get where it comes from now.

Also, also, on that same note, I wear my inspirations on my sleeves. Now, I'm not going to say exactly what they are, but in this one chapter, it's a very very obvious riff on another scene. Internet cookies if you can see it.

I didn't quite end up making this the 'why did Shirou do x' and 'why did fiamma act like y' chapter I thought it would be going into it, but honestly…

I think this is fine, exceeded what I thought the chapter was originally going to be.

Also also also, this is probably one of the last chapters that will feature heavy use of

–this thing

To just conveniently spam snippets of Shirou and EMIYA's fight. I'm still going to use it a lot, as it's a core part of the style, just shifting it away from how it's been used heavily in the last 2 chapters. But Shirou as a character is slowly getting to the point where she can grow beyond that, so it's not a necessary tool in communicating her mental state anymore.

I might go back and change like a tiny, tiny detail in the story. Literally doesn't matter, just to help fix things up a bit between when I first wrote this story and now when I'm picking it back up. It's just like one or two words to align the two parts.

On the note of Shirou's mental state, there's the constant allusion to Shirou's Reality Marble to address. I talked about it a bit in the last chapter's post-chapter note, and I wanted to incorporate the actual explanation inside of this chapter, but there wasn't really a place I could do that without breaking the flow or tone.

But, basically, she's just fully lost control over Unlimited Blade Works. The very core of Emiya Shirou has been rejecting and denying itself, and the Reality Marble is now permanently stuck in a chaotic state of half-manifestation.

It's not fully literal. Her heart, during the last scene, isn't like… literally made out of glass, but conceptually, it's no longer 'an organ of flesh and blood'. Same goes for the swords underneath her skin. They could be there, and at times, like when she tries to reach inside of her for Avalon, they are there, but otherwise, its kept in an incredibly vague state between existing physically and metaphysically.

The state of Unlimited Blade Works, for the remainder of Act Zero, will basically be our guideline to understanding Shirou's current mental state.

Anyways that's all for-

*bzzzz*

…Hm?

*bzzzz*

Huh, what's that?

H-hold on a second, do you hear that?

*bzzzz*

I-… I think someone's phone is ringing.

Whose phone is ringing?

Hold on for a moment, I need to figure this out.

---

"Hello."

"…"

"I assume this is your status report?"

"…"

"Get on with it then."

"…"

"I see. No sudden moves?"

"…"

"That's all on that front?"

"…"

"Hm? Confirmation?"

"…"

"Proof that the Heavenly Host is mobilising, I see."

"…"

"Your concern and worry is appreciated, but I will handle the precautions."

"…"

"Thank you. Dismi-"

"…"

"Permission granted."

"…"

"More updates?"

"…"

"The Underworld?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Thank you for your report."

Silence.

The clicking of buttons.

"Yes, hello."

"…"

"I don't care. Get him on the phone."

"…"

"His schedule doesn't matter."

"…"

"Get him on the line or you will be fired."

"…"

"If you do not recognise this voice, there is no reason to keep you employed at your station."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Hello, is this-?"

"…"

"Yes, I received your gift. Thank you."

"…"

"The situation has changed. We have confirmation of activity from-"

"…"

"I see you have heard the rumours about the Heavenly Host as well."

"…"

"I'm not preparing for hostile action. I understand our goals coincide and they are mostly benevolent."

"…"

"Yes, our relationship with the Three Churches is going to have to change."

"…"

"The worrisome activity comes from the other side of the world. The Fallen Angels are experiencing a civil war. Governor General Azazel is taking full control of the Grigori. His victory is expected."

"…"

"No, that in itself is not worrisome, correct. Look at the larger picture. Two large global superpowers are on the move. We have already fallen behind. Immediate action is necessary."

"…"

"Kirschtaria Wodime, you are to return to active duty immediately. This is a direct executive order from Vice Director Lorelei Bartholomei."

"…"

"Assemble the Crypters. Your first mission is as follows."

---

;)

Regardless of the individual, the world continues to turn.

There is always someone on the move, beyond your sight and knowledge.

A small sneak peek of what's to come.

Much love, cheers.

See you all next time.

---

Next time: Her heart is of glass. And the chain shatters.