Chapter 52
"Cass you want something to drink or some toast?" Joellen asked through the bathroom door. Cass opened it and came out, shaking her head as she walked over to the couch and flopped down on it.
"Hey sweetie how do you feel this morning?" Mark asked her in way to good a mood for eleven in the morning.
"How the fuck do I look like I feel Mark? I want a cigarette and a cup of coffee and to stop puking up absolutely everything I put in my mouth! And I'm tired of scratching and itching for no good reason. And having to pee every twenty minutes. And my chest hurts and my face keeps breaking out. And I'm sick and tired of everyone asking me how I feel when it's damn obvious I feel like crap!" She was almost crying.
Mark wasn't sure what to say to her as he watched her on the couch. "Um, sorry Cass. Do you want anything?"
"No."
Mark looked at Joellen who just shook her head at him. "Just leave her alone for awhile." She whispered as the phone ran she moved to answer it. "It's Jen Cass. She said Mo's on her way over."
"Tell her I'll be down in a little bit, but I don't know if I'm going."
Joellen relayed the message to Jen and hung up the phone. Why don't you make her some tea and toast Mark. I'm going to go take a shower."
After it was ready Mark carried the tea and toast to the couch. Cass looked like she was sleeping, with her arms held tight over her chest. When he set the plate down on the milk crate, she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Thanks Marky, you're such a sweet heart."
Confused, Mark just smiled at her. "Uh, no problem Cass. You want anything else?" She shook her head and she sat up to drink her tea.
"What time did Roger get home?"
"After six. I think he and Izzy were sitting around drinking. He came home mumbling something about telling me something. Actually, I don't know if he was mumbling or if that was just how I heard it. I was so tired."
"Yeah, I thought I heard something around then." Mark stopped there. Lately he wasn't sure what was safe to ask her.
Cass stood up and stretched, making a face like it hurt. She picked up the herbal tea and piece of toast. "I'm gong down to Jen's. Are you going to be here if I go with them or do I need my keys?"
"Yeah, I'll be here. All day I think."
Cass nodded as she slipped on her shoes and walked out the door. Mark went into his office and started looking at his notes from the other day. After awhile he heard Joellen get up from the couch and answered the door to let Jason in.
Mark came out into the living room as they sat down on the couch. "What are you doing over here this early?"
"Oh you know, Jen calls." He shook his head. "God help the idiot that marries her."
Mark laughed as Joellen swatted him with her notebook she had been working in.
"Oh come on, it's the truth and you know it!" Jason laughed.
"Uh uh. I'm staying out of this one. I got enough problems up here, without adding your evil twin into it." Mark sat down as Roger's bedroom door opened and he came out. "Ewww. Morning sunshine."
Roger gave him the finger as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some of the coffee Joellen had made earlier. "Where's Cass? And what are you doing her so early?" He asked Jason.
"She's downstairs with Jen and Mo. That's why I'm hiding up here. That apartment is way too small to be locked in with the three of them. Especially right now. I'll finish up Jen's sink after they leave."
"What do you mean?" Mark asked.
"You know. Jen has perpetual PMS, Mo is well, just Mo and Cass," he shook his head, "I don't know how you guys are surviving that rollercoaster ride."
"Leave her alone," Roger told him from the kitchen "she's sick."
"She's not sick," Joellen just looked at them, "she's pregnant. And completely hormonally out of wack. That poor girl has so many more hormones running through her that her body has got no clue as to what to do with all of them." She shook her head. "That's why she's been so moody, emotional, wacky and bitchie." She shrugged. "That's why she was like that this morning."
"What happened this morning?" Roger asked Mark.
"I don't know exactly. I asked how she felt, she bit my head off and was almost crying. Five minutes later, she was regular, sweet Cass. Now that I think about it, you're right. She's been kinda like that a lot lately."
"Yep. Hormones. She's probably having a boy. Between the major mood swings and all the rashes and how sick she is, I'd definitely guess boy."
All three of them were just looking at her. Joellen gave a small laughed. "Men. See you guys are difficult from before you're even born."
Roger ignored that last part and asked Jason where the girls were going.
"Jen was getting her nails done and I think she talked Cass into it too. When I left they were trying to decide how to fix Cass' chest."
"What?"
"I don't know. I try not to listen too much. It can get dangerous. Something about her chest exploding. I don't know."
"Yeah," Mark added. "She said something about her chest killing her this morning too."
"Like I said, hormones." Joellen told them. When she realized they still didn't get it she continued. "Haven't you noticed her chest is getting bigger?"
"Oh yeah. Definitely bigger. All of a sudden too." Jason told them. Mark, Roger and Joellen all just looked at him. Shock and surprise were evident on Roger and Mark's face. Jason started laughing. "What? Because I'm gay I'm not allowed to notice? I'm an artist, I notice stuff like that. Especially when it sort of, well, jumps out at you like that."
"Um, yeah, sorry Jason. Never really thought about it from your uh, perspective." Mark started. "As for Cass, I hadn't noticed. Or didn't want to look. I don't know." He shook his head. "Did you notice that?"
Roger thought about it. "Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. I guess I just thought it was wishful thinking." He grinned as Jason and Mark just laughed at that comment.
"You guys are sick and twisted. All three of you. The two of you don't know anything about pregnant women or babies do you?"
Mark and Roger just shook their heads. "Well considering you're living with one, and having the other don't you think maybe you should find out a little at least?"
"Yeah I was thinking that." Roger said, biting into an apple. "Cass pulled something up on the Internet the other day. To find out how big it was."
"What?" Mark asked. "The Internet?"
"No dumbass, the baby."
"Oh. Well? How big is it?"
"Like a half an inch long." He walked over to the computer she had said they could play on and turned it on. "She said she put a bookmark in the place we were looking. You know what that means?" He asked Mark who just looked at the computer screen for a second.
"Oh for god sake." Joellen moved over by Roger. "You two have been living this little bohemian lifestyle you are so proud of for too long." She sat down at the computer. "After you two find out how babies and pregnancy works maybe you should consider finding out about computers. I swear." She shook her head.
Joellen pulled up the site, gave them some basics on the computer and Internet searches and left. Jason went back down to Jen's leaving them alone. He knew if he stayed, he would just end up getting himself in trouble watching them.
**************
Roger was sitting on the couch working on a song with his guitar as the door opened and Maureen and Cass came in.
"Looking up porno sites Marky?" Maureen teased him sitting at the computer.
"He better not be. Those things are like breeding grounds for computer viruses." She gave him a wink as she walked around and sat down next to Roger who put the guitar down on the floor.
Roger turned so he was leaning against the side of the couch. He put both arms around her, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. "Hey Baby. Where have you been?"
"Jen dragged me with her to get our nails done. I haven't bothered since like last June. But they are growing really well now. The girl at the nail shop said that happens when you're pregnant."
Roger grinned, thinking back to the conversation earlier as she said that. Yeah, her chest was definitely getting bigger. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mark. Roger realized immediately he was trying to check out Cass' chest to. "Mark!" He growled at him then laughed as he watched him start to turn red.
"Sorry." Mark got up form the computer, motioned to Maureen and walked into his office.
"What was that?" Cass asked, confused.
"Nothing." Roger laughed. "Let me see your nails." She held out her hands in front of her. "Nice color." He grinned at the blue polish. He held her right hand, playing with her fingers. When he looked at her pinky he felt the anger and hatred bubbling up inside of him.
Cass felt him tense up and knew he was thinking about everything. He did whenever he looked at her finger that she couldn't quite straighten out. "It's okay Baby. Like the song says, 'that's just my battle scar'." She whispered to him, kissing his fingers.
He nodded, holding her tight still. "Did you eat anything?"
Form the office Mark heard Roger ask Cass if she had eaten. He grinned, looking at Maureen. "Listen to this, it'll amuse you." She gave him a strange look, but listened to them none the less.
"No. I'm not hungry."
"Cass you gotta eat something."
"I had a piece of toast earlier."
"You gotta eat something more than that." Roger told her.
Maureen got a twisted grin on her face as she whispered to Mark. "Does he have any idea how much he sounds like you talking to him?"
Mark shook his head. "Wait, it gets better." He whispered back.
"Well, did you take your pills?" He asked her.
"What's the point? I just throw them up anyway."
Because the doctor said you had to take the vitamins, especially if you're throwing up."
Maureen clamped a hand over her mouth to keep form laughing out loud. She watched Mark silently chuckling away at her and them.
"But the pills are one of the things that make me fell like throwing up."
"Well so do mine sometimes, but you don't see me complaining."
Maureen went wide-eyed at that statement. "Tell me Roger Davis did not just say that!"
Mark was laughing out loud by now. He couldn't help it. Between hearing Roger almost quote word for word the conversation it seemed the two of them had had for years, along with Maureen's reaction, it was too funny.
"He's got no idea how ironic that whole little scene is does he? Or the irony of all that coming out of his mouth?"
"Nope, not a clue. Told you that you would find it amusing."
"Well, I'm hungry. Let's go get some dinner. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Besides, I want to talk to you about something."
Maureen was about to walk out of the office when Mark heard Roger tell Cass he wanted to talk to her. Quickly, he grabbed Maureen, pulling her back into the room. He pulled her harder than he meant, and that, mixed with her surprise, landed her right up next to him, their faces only inches apart, her hands on his shoulders to brace herself.
"I, ah, um, let them, um, finish. He's got to talk to her about something."
Maureen could tell he was suddenly flustered. She tried to hold in the smile she felt coming to her lips. She could still fluster Mark. He used to call her a goddess and here they were, years later and she could still get to him. That felt pretty good. She needed the ego boost. Especially lately, the way things had been going with Joanne. So knowing that definitely felt good. But she realized that wasn't the only thing, Mark felt pretty good too.
That sort of freaked her out. She wasn't supposed to even like guys anymore. Especially Mark. But here she was, again. Looking into those blue eyes, again. Actually liking it, again. "What, what do they need to talk about?"
"Um, I um, I'll tell you later. After." She seemed to be moving closer to him he thought.
"After what?" Maureen asked him, almost in a whisper, still looking into his eyes.
"After, um, after they uh…"
Just then the door flew open the rest of the way as Roger stuck his head in the door, making both of them jump back some from each other.
"Mark we," he paused for a second, looking for words as he took in the scene, having seen them jump apart and how nervous they were acting now. "We, um, we are going to go get something to eat." He told them backing out of the room. "We, uh, I'll uh, talk, I mean see, we'll see you later. Bye." He said quickly grabbing Cass by the arm and hurrying out of the loft.
************
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. We're going to eat."
"Then why are we running down the stairs Roger?"
He hadn't realized they were running. Actually he did realized they were running, what he hadn't realized was the idea of Mark and Maureen together again would bother him quite so much.
"Sorry." He kissed her on the cheek as he opened the door to the outside and they went down the steps to the street.
"Roger what's going on?" Cass stopped walking. "Nothing. Well something. But not that." He babbled.
"Roger, what is going on? Why did we almost fly out of the apartment? Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Something is really wrong isn't it?"
"No, maybe, I mean the big thing no." He looked into her eyes, which were patiently waiting. "Okay. Yes I've got something big to talk to you about. But it has nothing to do with just now. That could be absolutely nothing. And when I find out, I'll tell you about it then. Okay?"
She nodded. She trusted him. When he was ready to tell her, he would. They walked on in silence till they reached the Life Café.
Roger looked up, realized where they where and laughed. "I tell you I'll take you anywhere you want and we end up back here? Are you sure?"
"Yep." She kissed him, pulling him through the door. I want pancakes." He grinned and let her pull him in. They got seated, and the waitress took their orders.
"Okay what is going on? What's the big thing you wanted to talk to me about?" Cass knew it was big. And that it was important to him. She could feel that. She was also confident that whatever it was, it wasn't bad. She watched him hesitate, afraid to tell her. Cass put her hand on his, running her finger over the cross tattoo on his hand. "Roger, just tell me."
God she was incredible. He took a deep breath. "Okay. Izzy's got a cousin, Trey. Well he's got a band. A good band."
"Uh huh." She was listening intently, never taking her eyes off of him.
"Well, one of their guitar players, well, long story short, he screwed up, and has to serve two weeks community service or get locked up for six months. So they need somebody to fill in for him."
"Baby that's great! Izzy will let you do it?"
"Yeah Izzy's the one that told me about it. But there's one catch."
"There always is." She grinned at him, her enthusiasm not waning a bit.
"Well, like I said, they're a good band. They're an opening act for a bigger group."
"Roger that is so good. Is there any chance it may go longer than two weeks?"
"Cass wait. You don't understand. When a band has an opening act, that means they're touring. Not just a house band like us at the Iguana."
"Oh. But it's only two weeks?"
"Yeah Baby. It's only two weeks. But It's in Philly and Pittsburgh. Then Cleveland, Detroit, Columbus and Indianapolis."
"So that mean you get to play on tour with real bands? Bands like on the radio?"
"Yeah, they're on the radio, But Cass I would be gone for two weeks if I take it."
"What do you mean if?" She asked wide-eyed as the food got set in front of them. "Roger you have to do this. This is like the first step in everything you ever wanted!"
He just looked at her. She was amazing. "But Babe, I'd have to leave for two weeks. I can't take you with me. You'd have to stay here."
"I know." She looked down at her pancakes, pushing the butter around. "But you have to go Roger. It's important to you. I'll be okay."
He reached up and pushed a piece of hair back behind her ear. "You're important to me too Cass."
"I know that." A tear ran down her cheek and he wiped it away. "But I'll be around for more than two weeks. You have to do this now. While the chance is there. You have to go."
"You are the most amazing, incredible person I have ever met. Have I told you lately I love you?"
"Not since this morning." She smiled at him.
"Well I do."
"Good, because I love you too."
"Are you really sure?"
"About loving you?" She pulled back in surprise. "Of course I'm sure."
"No, I know that." He held her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I mean are you sure about me going?"
"Yes. You have to go. And then that means I'm in love not only with the most talented, incredible, sexy, guitar playing, songwriter in all of New York, but he's also a famous touring rock and roll star!"
"It's a long way from famous rock and roll star Cass."
"You're famous to me." She smiled at him. "Does that make me a groupie?"
He gave her a mischievous grin. "Yep. My own personal groupie."
"As long as I'm your only person groupie."
"The one and only."
"Good. When do you have to leave?"
"Two weeks from today. I need to be there for the Saturday night show. See how it runs. I need to learn the music between now and then too."
"Well you'll be here for your birthday at least."
"Yeah, I guess." H looked own at heir intertwined hands. "I'm sorry Cass."
"For what?" She asked, taking a bite of her pancakes.
"For leaving you alone." Someday for good he thought.
"But you're coming back Roger. It's not like you're dumping me for life on the road. Besides, I've lived out of hotels and traveled like that for work remember? After awhile, you'd hate it." She winked at him. "I'm not worried, you'll be back." She grinned at him.
"I just feel bad, like I'm deserting you."
"You're not deserting me. And you're not leaving me alone. Mark will be here. And everybody else. And it's not like you are going to miss anything while you're gone anyway."
"I'm going to miss two whole weeks of you."
"Lucky you! Two whole weeks of not having to watch me puke. Or watch me scratch at the latest batch of hives. Or get bitched out. Don't think I don't know you and especially Mark are almost scared of me at time. Even I know I'm like emotionally psychotic lately."
Roger just started laughing. "Yeah but you're cute anyway." She looked at him skeptically. "Okay, maybe a little less cute when you're throwing up, but you're still cute."
"You're crazy Roger Davis. You know that right?"
"Yep. Completely certifiable." He grinned at her.
They finished their food and headed back outside. Roger stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing and sucking on her neck as he walked them along. "God, I'm gonna miss you. What am I gonna do for two whole weeks without you? Don't know if I can go that long not having you near me. Not being able to touch you and everything."
Cass just gave him a sly grin over her shoulder. "Well then, we'll just have to make sure you get as much of me as possible."
"Okay!" He gave her the most mischievous grin she had ever seen on his face. "You want to start now?"
"Relax. You're not leaving yet. We got time." She grinned.
"Okay." He looked around for a moment. "How about now?"
Cass rolled her eyes at him. "Grow up!" She laughed.
"Okay." He told her, sounding disappointed, but he kissed her on the ear and grinned at her to let her know he was kidding.
"I don't want to go home yet. Can we go for a walk?"
He slid up next to her, keeping his arm still around her. "I guess. Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know." She headed away from the loft and towards St. Mark's Place. Cass stopped and looked Roger over from head to toe. "You know Baby, I'm so excited for you. This whole thing is just so completely awesome. We really should celebrate."
"Okay!" He grinned, scooping her up and turning back towards the loft.
"Roger!" She laughed at him. "You're crazy! Put me down!"
"You said we should celebrate." He teased her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him on the ear. "Uh huh." She ran her tongue down the edge of his ear biting at this earlobe. "We should celebrate." She told him in a low whisper. "So you know what I'm gonna do?" She ran her hand down his chest.
"What?" He asked, barely able to get the words out.
"First, I'm going to get you out of those pants. And then…" she purred into his ear.
"Uh huh?"
"Then I'm going to buy you some new clothes!" She laughed as he let go of her legs, dropping her feet to the ground.
"Your evil Cassiopeia Sullivan! Incredibly cute and sexy, but truly evil."
"No I'm not!" She was hanging from his neck, standing on her toes. "But if you're going to be an incredibly talented guitar playing, song writing, famous touring rock and roll star, you're going to need to look good."
"You left out sexy. You said that one before."
"I know I left it out. I don't want you looking too good out there. Besides, I'd hate to think you would need to have laundry done while you were gone. Then I may have to worry about those willing to do laundry groupies."
"Cass I don't want you buying me clothes."
"But you need stuff. Please. Think of it as an early birthday present. And it would make me really happy." She looked up at him, arms still around his neck.
"I'm not going to win this am I?"
She shook her head.
"Fine. Buy what ever you want." He wrapped his arms around her tightly and pulled her close. "I love you Cass."
"I love you too Roger." She held onto his neck. It seemed the longer he held her, the tighter he held her. Finally not wanting to let him go, but she had to say something. "Roger," she said taking a breath. "Roger you're crushing my chest."
He let go quickly. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked thinking back to the conversation earlier that day involving Jason and Joellen. They were right. Her chest was definitely getting bigger.
"Yes I'm fine. I'm just a little sore. In case you haven't noticed, I'm having chest issues."
"Oh I noticed!" He stopped. "I mean, well, you know." He watched her laugh at him. She is so beautiful. They walked a little farther before he stopped in front of a baby store. It was closed for the day, but they looked at the clothes in the window. He hugged her from behind, his hands sliding down and stopping on her stomach. "When do you go back to the doctor?"
"The morning of the 31st. Halloween."
"Oh." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice.
"She turned some to face him a little. "You'll be gone by then won't you? I can change it, if you want. Move it up some."
"Whatever you want to do Cass."
"She did say we should be able to hear it's heartbeat that time."
"That's cool."
"I'll move it. I want you to come with me. I want you to hear it with me."
"Yeah," He grinned. "That would be really cool to hear. I'd kinda like to hear that."
A/N After returning from getting her nails done, Cass makes the statement "Like the song says, 'that's just my battle scar'." She is referring to the Third Eye Blind song "Wounded." It is also the song that was the inspiration and basis for this whole story. I had been on vacation, and was running about 4 – 5 miles a day. Unfortunately, I think I only had that one tape with me, so consequently I ended up listening to it a number of times. From that, what was supposed to be a short story was born and eventually evolved into what is now Another Second Chance.
You all have hung with me for so long with this story, and you have no idea how much I appreciate all the reviews and just knowing someone is enjoying this. It is because of that I have been waiting for this scene to explain the basis for the whole story to you. It was important to me you all know that.
Now go listen to "Wounded" and tell me if you can't just hear Roger all over that song and so many other Third Eye Blind ones.