'Ok, tell me again what you want?' Radar asked. It was later in the day,
and Radar was now fully awake.
'A uniform. A female officer's uniform. With a skirt, if you can get one,' Max said.
'Are you nuts?' Radar demanded.
'It's what I'm hoping everyone else will think,' Max replied.
'Why, again, do you want this uniform?' Radar asked.
'I want a section eight. I want to be sent home. I hate being this close to the war. I want to go back home, to Toledo,' Max explained.
'I'll get you the dress,' Radar sighed.
'Thank you!' Max said, hugging Radar quickly. 'I swear, if I get sent home, I will personally send you something worthwhile to eat, all for you!' Max said, dancing around the tent.
'Your dress will probably be in by Wednesday next week,' Radar said. 'Now, if you want, I can. . .' He stopped.
'What?' Max asked in a low voice.
'INCOMING!' Radar yelled, jumping off his cot and running outside. 'INCOMING CHOPPERS!'
'We have wounded coming in folks,' the speakers crackled into life. 'Be prepared for a long run.'
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
Max stepped among the bodies being lay onto the ground.
'Max,' Hawkeye called out to him. 'Help me get this guy inside.' Max went over and helped put the man who's stomach had been blown to pieces onto a stretcher. He moved to the foot end of it, and was about to pick it up when he noticed the blood. His hands were now a shiny red, and his normally green uniform was stained with a dark mark, and it suddenly felt icy cold on his chest where the blood had leaked through. He looked up at Hawkeye, who was waiting, and noticed he was covered in the stuff too.
'Come on, it's ok,' Hawkeye said. 'Help me get him inside.' Max swallowed hard, and trying to ignore the cries of pain around the compound, helped take the guy into the operating room.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'You ok?' Hawkeye asked, sitting beside Max who was sitting in the dirt outside the post op tent. Max nodded his head. 'You're not ok, I can see that. It's ok. I felt the same way when I first got here.'
'You did?' Max asked, looking over.
'Yeah, I had to sew them back together. I'm a doctor, I'm sort of used to people's blood, but you're just an ordinary guy. It must be tough for you,' Hawkeye said.
'I want to go back home,' Max said. 'I have a family over there, a huge one, in Toledo, and a girlfriend I was going to propose to, until the war dragged me half way across the world.'
'You're lucky. All I have is my father, in Crab Apple Cove,' Hawkeye said. 'Not even a girlfriend. Some of the others are married. Henry, Trapper and Frank all have wives, and kids,' Hawkeye said.
'I never knew Major Burns was married. I though he and Major Houlihan were a couple, you know, marry after the war and that sort of thing,' Max said.
'Yeah, Margaret is a little touchy about that, so unless you want your head bitten off, don't mention Frank's wife,' Hawkeye grinned. He patted Max on the back before getting up. 'Don't worry, you will get used to it,' he said.
'Really?' Max asked. Hawkeye stopped for a second.
'No, not really. But it does get easier to bear after a while,' he replied before going in to check on his patients.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'I can't believe you got this, Radar,' Max looked at the two piece skirt and top uniform, all folded up neatly.
'I told them a nurse requested it,' Radar said.
'Thank you, thank you, I'll never forget it,' Max said, rushing to his tent with it. 'I'll wear it tonight!'
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
The mess tent was noisy that night, ready for one of Henry's famous Sex-Ed talks. Hawkeye and Trapper were sitting to the side, making fun of Henry's last one.
'He was so nervous, he dropped his pointing stick!' Trapper was yelling to the newer personnel.
'He was so scared, he had to drink three bottles of scotch before he calmed down enough to do that!' Hawkeye laughed. The mess tent door banged open loudly, and everyone suddenly went quiet as they turned to see who it was. Max walked in, as if nothing was happening, as about fifty pairs of eyes watched him cross the room.
'Uh, Max,' Henry was up the front and watching him too. 'Come outside for a minute, I'd like to talk to you.' Max happily obliged and followed the Colonel outside. As soon at the door to the mess tent banged shut, there was murmuring about what the new Corporal was wearing.
'Yes, Henry?' Max asked.
'What the hell are you doing?' Henry hissed. Hawkeye and Trapper had their faces pressed up to the canvass wall of the mess tent so they could hear every word.
'What do you mean?' Max asked innocently.
'The uniform. The woman's uniform. You know that isn't really appropriate. And it doesn't really go with your army boots,' Henry said.
'That's why I ordered high heels as well,' Max said, holding a foot up so the Colonel could see. There was sniggering from Hawkeye and Trapper. Henry looked over angrily, then turned back to Max.
'Look, all I want to know is why you are wearing those clothes?' he asked. 'Are you a homosexual? Are you crazy? Or are you just a cross dresser?'
'The second one. I'm crazy,' Max said quickly.
'I think I know what this is all about,' Hawkeye said, standing up and going outside. Trapper followed him. 'Max, you're not crazy about being here, are you?'
'No,' Max said plainly.
'Oh, you're faking it. Very nice. No, you can't have section eight papers to go home,' Henry said. Max's face fell.
'Please, Henry, I can't survive here, up the front. I'll get killed!' he pleaded. Suddenly, Frank and Margaret came around the corner or a nearby tent.
'What the. . .?' Frank yelled.
'Corporal Klinger, what are you wearing?' Margaret screeched. Max sighed. He'd had enough of the two Majors.
'I am wearing uniform. Two people GI as yourselves should recognise this,' he said.
'But that's a woman's uniform,' Frank said.
'It's still uniform,' Max said pointedly.
'He has a point, Henry,' Hawkeye hissed to the Colonel.
'Relax, you two. He wants a discharge,' Henry explained.
'Well, you can't have one!' Frank said.
'Last time I looked, Frank, I was CO of this outfit,' Henry said in an annoyed voice.
'But he's faking! You can't give him one unless he's really crazy!' Margaret said. Henry sighed.
'I'm sorry, Max, she has a point. Unless you're really crazy, I can't give you that discharge,' he told Max.
'Don't call me Max any more if you're not going to send me home,' Max said, hurt.
'Yeah, call him "Maxine",' Trapper laughed.
'No! I just want to be called Klinger,' Max said, glaring at Trapper making fun of him. 'I've decided only those who are true friends to me can call me Max.'
'It goes better with "crazy" than Max does anyway. Crazy Klinger, or Crazy Max. Crazy Klinger sounds better,' Hawkeye said. Max felt hurt. Hawkeye was making fun of him too. He went to storm off, but slipped in the mud in his heels.
'Stupid heels,' he said, tears going down his face, as he took them off and ran to his tent, mud covering his skirt.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'Corporal, as your superior officer, I order you to change into proper uniform,' Frank said.
'No,' Max said, sounding like a spoilt child, and stumbling on his heels again in the post op tent.
'Corporal Klinger, now!' Frank yelled. Max saw red. He didn't want to take the woman's uniform off, not until he got his section eight. This man didn't seem to realise that.
'Not until you sign my section eight papers,' Max said. Frank shook his head, arms folded over his chest. Max swung his arm back and hit Frank in the eye, and sent him flying into the doors.
'You are in so much trouble, Corporal,' Frank said as he got up, holding his eye.
'Stick it up your. . .' Max was interrupted by Hawkeye's laughter.
'Good hit, Max. We've all wanted to do that for a long time,' he said, wiping a tear away.
'I told you, only some people may call me Max,' Max told him.
'Come on, I'm your friend. Just don't ask me to kiss on the first date,' Hawkeye grinned.
'Uh huh, right, friend,' Max muttered as he stumbled out in his heels again.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
One more chapter to go on this, so keep an eye on this space!
'A uniform. A female officer's uniform. With a skirt, if you can get one,' Max said.
'Are you nuts?' Radar demanded.
'It's what I'm hoping everyone else will think,' Max replied.
'Why, again, do you want this uniform?' Radar asked.
'I want a section eight. I want to be sent home. I hate being this close to the war. I want to go back home, to Toledo,' Max explained.
'I'll get you the dress,' Radar sighed.
'Thank you!' Max said, hugging Radar quickly. 'I swear, if I get sent home, I will personally send you something worthwhile to eat, all for you!' Max said, dancing around the tent.
'Your dress will probably be in by Wednesday next week,' Radar said. 'Now, if you want, I can. . .' He stopped.
'What?' Max asked in a low voice.
'INCOMING!' Radar yelled, jumping off his cot and running outside. 'INCOMING CHOPPERS!'
'We have wounded coming in folks,' the speakers crackled into life. 'Be prepared for a long run.'
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
Max stepped among the bodies being lay onto the ground.
'Max,' Hawkeye called out to him. 'Help me get this guy inside.' Max went over and helped put the man who's stomach had been blown to pieces onto a stretcher. He moved to the foot end of it, and was about to pick it up when he noticed the blood. His hands were now a shiny red, and his normally green uniform was stained with a dark mark, and it suddenly felt icy cold on his chest where the blood had leaked through. He looked up at Hawkeye, who was waiting, and noticed he was covered in the stuff too.
'Come on, it's ok,' Hawkeye said. 'Help me get him inside.' Max swallowed hard, and trying to ignore the cries of pain around the compound, helped take the guy into the operating room.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'You ok?' Hawkeye asked, sitting beside Max who was sitting in the dirt outside the post op tent. Max nodded his head. 'You're not ok, I can see that. It's ok. I felt the same way when I first got here.'
'You did?' Max asked, looking over.
'Yeah, I had to sew them back together. I'm a doctor, I'm sort of used to people's blood, but you're just an ordinary guy. It must be tough for you,' Hawkeye said.
'I want to go back home,' Max said. 'I have a family over there, a huge one, in Toledo, and a girlfriend I was going to propose to, until the war dragged me half way across the world.'
'You're lucky. All I have is my father, in Crab Apple Cove,' Hawkeye said. 'Not even a girlfriend. Some of the others are married. Henry, Trapper and Frank all have wives, and kids,' Hawkeye said.
'I never knew Major Burns was married. I though he and Major Houlihan were a couple, you know, marry after the war and that sort of thing,' Max said.
'Yeah, Margaret is a little touchy about that, so unless you want your head bitten off, don't mention Frank's wife,' Hawkeye grinned. He patted Max on the back before getting up. 'Don't worry, you will get used to it,' he said.
'Really?' Max asked. Hawkeye stopped for a second.
'No, not really. But it does get easier to bear after a while,' he replied before going in to check on his patients.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'I can't believe you got this, Radar,' Max looked at the two piece skirt and top uniform, all folded up neatly.
'I told them a nurse requested it,' Radar said.
'Thank you, thank you, I'll never forget it,' Max said, rushing to his tent with it. 'I'll wear it tonight!'
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
The mess tent was noisy that night, ready for one of Henry's famous Sex-Ed talks. Hawkeye and Trapper were sitting to the side, making fun of Henry's last one.
'He was so nervous, he dropped his pointing stick!' Trapper was yelling to the newer personnel.
'He was so scared, he had to drink three bottles of scotch before he calmed down enough to do that!' Hawkeye laughed. The mess tent door banged open loudly, and everyone suddenly went quiet as they turned to see who it was. Max walked in, as if nothing was happening, as about fifty pairs of eyes watched him cross the room.
'Uh, Max,' Henry was up the front and watching him too. 'Come outside for a minute, I'd like to talk to you.' Max happily obliged and followed the Colonel outside. As soon at the door to the mess tent banged shut, there was murmuring about what the new Corporal was wearing.
'Yes, Henry?' Max asked.
'What the hell are you doing?' Henry hissed. Hawkeye and Trapper had their faces pressed up to the canvass wall of the mess tent so they could hear every word.
'What do you mean?' Max asked innocently.
'The uniform. The woman's uniform. You know that isn't really appropriate. And it doesn't really go with your army boots,' Henry said.
'That's why I ordered high heels as well,' Max said, holding a foot up so the Colonel could see. There was sniggering from Hawkeye and Trapper. Henry looked over angrily, then turned back to Max.
'Look, all I want to know is why you are wearing those clothes?' he asked. 'Are you a homosexual? Are you crazy? Or are you just a cross dresser?'
'The second one. I'm crazy,' Max said quickly.
'I think I know what this is all about,' Hawkeye said, standing up and going outside. Trapper followed him. 'Max, you're not crazy about being here, are you?'
'No,' Max said plainly.
'Oh, you're faking it. Very nice. No, you can't have section eight papers to go home,' Henry said. Max's face fell.
'Please, Henry, I can't survive here, up the front. I'll get killed!' he pleaded. Suddenly, Frank and Margaret came around the corner or a nearby tent.
'What the. . .?' Frank yelled.
'Corporal Klinger, what are you wearing?' Margaret screeched. Max sighed. He'd had enough of the two Majors.
'I am wearing uniform. Two people GI as yourselves should recognise this,' he said.
'But that's a woman's uniform,' Frank said.
'It's still uniform,' Max said pointedly.
'He has a point, Henry,' Hawkeye hissed to the Colonel.
'Relax, you two. He wants a discharge,' Henry explained.
'Well, you can't have one!' Frank said.
'Last time I looked, Frank, I was CO of this outfit,' Henry said in an annoyed voice.
'But he's faking! You can't give him one unless he's really crazy!' Margaret said. Henry sighed.
'I'm sorry, Max, she has a point. Unless you're really crazy, I can't give you that discharge,' he told Max.
'Don't call me Max any more if you're not going to send me home,' Max said, hurt.
'Yeah, call him "Maxine",' Trapper laughed.
'No! I just want to be called Klinger,' Max said, glaring at Trapper making fun of him. 'I've decided only those who are true friends to me can call me Max.'
'It goes better with "crazy" than Max does anyway. Crazy Klinger, or Crazy Max. Crazy Klinger sounds better,' Hawkeye said. Max felt hurt. Hawkeye was making fun of him too. He went to storm off, but slipped in the mud in his heels.
'Stupid heels,' he said, tears going down his face, as he took them off and ran to his tent, mud covering his skirt.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'Corporal, as your superior officer, I order you to change into proper uniform,' Frank said.
'No,' Max said, sounding like a spoilt child, and stumbling on his heels again in the post op tent.
'Corporal Klinger, now!' Frank yelled. Max saw red. He didn't want to take the woman's uniform off, not until he got his section eight. This man didn't seem to realise that.
'Not until you sign my section eight papers,' Max said. Frank shook his head, arms folded over his chest. Max swung his arm back and hit Frank in the eye, and sent him flying into the doors.
'You are in so much trouble, Corporal,' Frank said as he got up, holding his eye.
'Stick it up your. . .' Max was interrupted by Hawkeye's laughter.
'Good hit, Max. We've all wanted to do that for a long time,' he said, wiping a tear away.
'I told you, only some people may call me Max,' Max told him.
'Come on, I'm your friend. Just don't ask me to kiss on the first date,' Hawkeye grinned.
'Uh huh, right, friend,' Max muttered as he stumbled out in his heels again.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
One more chapter to go on this, so keep an eye on this space!