AN: This fic is based on the movie Three Days, which airs around Christmas on ABC Family. When I saw the movie I kept thinking about how this would be as a Gundam Wing story with Duo and Heero, and well… this is the result. ^^
The events in this fic do not completely correspond with the set up of the movie. (ie: things happen out of order.)
Additional AN: I don't own the song White Christmas... nor do I own the g-boys, but I am barrowing both for the purposes of this story... I changed the words around slightly in the song... I hope you all don't mind... ^^;
Enjoy!
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3 Days part 4: Day 2....Count down time: 1 day before Christmas Eve
As the sun peaked over the horizon, it swept through the room, illuminating everything it touched with its soft presence. Duo sat watching how said beams of light danced across his koi's face. Strangely though, Heero hadn't risen with the sun like he usually would.
Duo received a very small measure of sleep that night, instead choosing to stay awake and just look at Heero. Something he hadn't done since the first war. He realized how much his koi had grown up since then, and filled out in all the right places. He noticed how Heero twitched his nose slightly as he slept, and how his hair didn't seem as wild, but framed his peaceful face just right, giving him an even more alluring look than ever before. It also made him much more mysterious. Duo watched everything about him, engraving the image in his mind.
Well he was until he felt a strange sensation, making him want to go to the window. He carefully extracted himself from Heero, to go see what was so important. Peculiarly though Heero still didn't wake, but he did make a sad face and cuddle closer to Duo's pillow.
The owner of said pillow was torn between going to the window and crawling back under the covers. However, something inside was telling him that this was important. He brushed Heero's bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. Heero still didn't want to wake up, but the sad look vanished almost completely, to be replaced by his peaceful sleeping expression. Duo continued over to the window, what he saw made him want to gasp, but he restrained himself at the last minute.
Outside standing on the walkway was the strange locksmith and a small boy that looked surprisingly like ..../Solo/.....
/But he's.... dead....it can't be.../ Duo grabbed a pair of pants and boots completely forgetting about his jacket.
'Do you think he's gonna come?'
'He'll be here... just give him some time.' As the small boy finished speaking the front door of the bed and breakfast opened and out came Duo clad in a t-shirt, pants and boots, his hair still braided from before.
"You!! What in the world are YOU doing here? What now you stalk people you grant wishes to?"
"Don't push it brat, I'm still against this wish. I personally think Heero deserves better... but since he fell for you.. We're trying to give you a chance to not mess up again. And frankly so far you're doing a really crappy job." The locksmith... Odin? seemed pissed at Duo.
"Yeah well I am trying the best I can here."
"Well for once your best isn't good enough."
Duo growled.
"Hey! Cool it you two!"
Duo noted for the first time that the small blonde boy was standing there. He just stared... /Solo?.... It's can't be.../
"Geez Duo... you look like you've seen a ghost or something...''
"S...Solo?"
"And who else would I be?"
The weather suddenly wasn't felt as Duo went numb inside. He knelt down on the sidewalk, not caring about anything except the small figure in front of him. He went to put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but Solo pulled away before he could.
"Sorry D. Can't touch. It's a rule.' He had an apologetic look on his pale face.
"Hey snap out of it down there!" Odin seemed to be loosing what was left of his patience.
Duo on the other hand, snapped out of the trance type state he was in and stood up; the weather once again making it known, full force. "What do you mean another chance?" The earlier conversation came back to him.
"Maybe give you advice on how to not screw up anymore?" Odin was still really pissed at how Duo was handling the wish, so he was being very sarcastic.
"Frankly Duo I have to agree with Odin on this. You're not doing a very good job here."
"I need more time! It took me a hell of a lot more than 3 days to get Heero to open up to me the first time. This isn't very different!"
"Oh Really? So you're saying that he's STILL an emotionless soldier?" Odin was getting a bit angrier.
Duo noticed the anger washing off the spirit in waves. He had the decency to look a bit afraid and flinch back slightly.
"It's not that... it's just..." He wasn't sure how to explain the situation to them. After taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts he proceeded. He looked right into Odin's eyes as he talked, not once breaking eye contact, to show the sincerity of his words. The fact that Odin was dead never really got put into play. It was like he was really there, just another person talking to him on the street.
"Heero's not an emotionless soldier, he never was, at least I never saw him that way. He's strong in mind and body, determined, loyal and dedicated to a worthy cause. That's what I fell in love with. He's also gentle and has this childlike innocence about things, which I also love about him. I guess I started to take him for granted when I realized that he loved me enough to want to stay... when I realized he wasn't going to die and leave me like everyone else I loved.... I didn't realize how much I was hurting him though. I love him with all my soul, I really do. But it's gonna take me longer than three days to make this up all my mistakes to Hee-chan. I need more time... please." The last word was barely a whisper.
Odin didn't say anything at first... he seemed to be considering something.
"Well Odin?" Solo sounded hopeful about something.
"Fine... but I am agreeing under slight protest." With that he just disappeared.
Solo sighed. Duo blinked, "Agree to what?"
"Look .... Duo... there is a way for you to save Heero's life. -" Duo cut him off looking hopeful, "Really? How? I'll do anything!!"
"You have to give Heero the Ultimate Gift. Something so special that it'll take away an doubts and fears about you not loving him."
"What is this Ultimate Gift?"
"I can't tell you... you have to figure it out on your own... Look, I have said too much already. You should get inside before you catch your death with a cold... Good bye Duo... Until we meet again." With that he also just disappeared.
"S...Solo? NO!! Wait!!!" But it was too late he was gone. The wind picked up again and Duo ran inside muttering about ghosts and their stupid need to be mysterious.
When he got back to the room, he didn't dare jump back into bed, for fear of waking Heero. So he just sat next to him, on a chair - watching him - something he hadn't done in a long time.
Heero awoke a little while later, noticing he was alone in bed /was it all a dream? / He sensed someone watching him and he turned towards said person. "Duo? Why are you sitting over there?"
"I had to get up for a second, and I didn't want to wake you up when I got back. Besides I never get to watch you sleep anymore." Duo scooted closer to the bed and reached over to push some of the bangs away from Heero's face. When said hand touched Heero's face, he shivered involuntarily.
"Duo Your FREEZING! What were you doing? Standing outside in your boxers?" He pulled Duo under the covers with him, rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm him up.
Duo just chuckled, "Umm... well actually it was a T-shirt, pants and boots....."
"Baka… Were you TRYING to kill yourself?" /pleasedontsayyespleasedontsayyes..../
"Of course not Hee-chan. Why would I want to do something like that?"
Heero didn't say anything in return to that; he just kept trying to warm Duo up.
"...So what do you have planned for us today Hee-chan?"
"I haven't thought about it... Could we just tour the town a bit? See what's changed since we last visited?" /since the wars.../
"Hey, this vacation is all for YOU remember? Anything YOU want to do. That sounds like fun... And we can go to the park - see some of the kids."
They just lay in bed cuddling for a bit longer then got up for the day of 'exploring' that was ahead. Duo was DETERMINED to not screw-up today, like he had yesterday and all those times before. But little did he know, that fate, or as he would later think - a meddling spirit, would get in the way.
---Around Noonish---
"Hey Hee-chan, are you getting hungry at all? I saw this great little place right down the road is you wanna stop for lunch."
"Sure." Duo and Heero had been walking around the town for most of the morning. They had done some window shopping but not much else. Heero seemed hesitant about something but Duo wasn't sure what.
When they reached the restaurant Duo realized that he hadn't held Heero's hand while they had walked around the town. At the end of the war whenever they went out, Duo always held the Japanese pilot's hand - no matter the looks they got from people. Duo always glared right back and held Heero's hand tighter. That small gesture always spoke volumes of how he felt towards Heero. Duo vowed to do it after they left the restaurant.
/Is that what's bothering him?/ Duo pulled out Heero's chair for him, then sat down himself ignoring the few strange looks he got from some of the customers.
As they were waiting for their food, Duo pulled out a small box and handed it to Heero.
"What's this?"
"An early Christmas present... Go on open it."
"Oh my gods... Duo... When did you... Where .... How?"
"Do you like it?" Inside the box was a small crystal dolphin splashing above the waves. "I got it earlier when we were looking around. I slipped into the store while you were looking around at the books... Are you mad?"
"No... Duo... you didn't have to get me this..."
"But I want to show you how much I love you Hee-chan."
/He's doing that again..../
"Aa." Just then they're food arrived and they started eating.
Halfway through the meal Heero spoke up... although he seemed sorta hesitant... "Duo... There is one place I want to go before we leave..."
"Where is that Hee-chan?"
"I was thinking we could stop by and see Wufei... we haven't seen him since the wa-"
"What!? You want us to actually go see that two timing... backstabbing..."
"Duo stop it! Just because he switched sides during the wars doesn't make him the enemy."
"He tried to kill you for gods' sake! There is no way we're going there. No and I mean it." Heero just gave him a look, got up and left - not once saying a word.
Duo was pissed, it was only lunch time and he was already screwing up.
"Kuso!" He threw his fork down, left a lot of money on the table and went after Heero. "Which way did he go?"
Duo was looking around frantically when he heard a familiar voice, "Duo, honey, you need to calm down."
Duo froze... /It can't be.../ "Sis...Sister Helen?" He turned around and came face to face with another face that haunted his nightmares.
"No Duo this is not a dream. I am really here, just like Solo was."
Duo was speechless; he felt his anger slowly drain only to be replaced by confusion and sadness.
"Duo what happened to you? You've changed so much... why?" He looked away suddenly not feeling very much on anything except shame.
"I...I don't know... I'm really trying Sister Helen.. but I can't seem to do anything right. I got Hee-chan a present then I went and yelled at him."
"Maybe you are trying to hard?"
"What!? how?"
"Honey, think back to when you and this boy started going out, what did you do?"
Duo thought back, and without even realizing it started talking with a small smile and a glow in his eyes. "...I always held his hand when we went places - even if it was up to the office at work.. Hee-chan loves to cuddle, he always said it made him feel safe and warm... I loved to hold him because I wanted to protect him from the world and his nightmares.. I always told him how much I loved him and he would give me a small smile... he loves to watch the sun rise... I have so many pictures of him curled in the chair on our balcony asleep after he watched the sun..."
"So why did you stop? And why aren't you doing those things now?"
"What?"
"Look back on what you just told me and compare it to how you have been acting these past two days. You haven't held his hand to one place you've gone. You've been snapping at your friends AND him. When was the last time you watched him/the sunrise together? When was the last time you talked with your friends in person? How has he been responding to your declarations of love? Do you even know why he's reaction is so different?"
Duo shook his head slightly.
"These past two days when ever you said anything remotely loving and endearing it's been said frantically with a strange gleam in your eye… it's like you're trying to convince yourself just as much as him. It's like you are trying to convince yourself that you do *still* love him. Anything endearing that you have done, like dancing last night, cuddling this morning, the present you gave him… they've all been spoiled because of how you expressed your love."
Duo winced as her words hit home and looked away again. /How am I ever going to fix this? /
"Duo look at me." He slowly raised his gaze to her face, surprised to see the loving expression she always had instead of disappointment.
"Why can't you just be yourself? Be the person that Heero fell in love with... not this stranger he is with now."
"But -"
"Don't worry about how much time you have left with him. If you do that then you'll never be able to give him the Ultimate Gift… Now… he's on his way to the park." With that said she slowly disappeared.
"No! Wait!" It was too late, she was gone. Duo took a minute to try and comprehend what the spirit had told him. /They're right, I keep trying to hard and I'm just pushing him away. I can't believe this. I have to try harder! No wait! Sister Helen said I shouldn't try harder… Just be me… I can do this… I HAVE to do this. / With those thoughts he ran to the park. The wind picked up as he ran. He thought he heard Sister Helen's voice whisper through the wind "/Good luck little one. /"
----
Duo turned the corner and stopped short. Heero was just ahead walking slowly with his arms crossed and head bowed. Duo walked fast enough to catch up with him, without running. When he did catch up, he fell into step with the man that held his heart, and looked at the ground as well. If Heero noticed the approach, which he probably did, he didn't say anything about it, but he also didn't turn in another direction either, so Duo took that as a good sign.
Neither man spoke, each for his own reasons, for about 5 minutes, when Duo was unable to take the silence any longer.
"Hee-chan, I wan to apologize for what I said about visiting Wufei." Heero just kept walking, not bothering with any kind of acknowledgements. Duo was semi sure he was listening so he went on, "When you said that, it took me by surprise and I was wrong to snap at you like that."
Again no response.
Duo stopped walking and pulled Heero to a stop as well, turning him so they were face to face. Heero moved with Duo's hold, but he still wouldn't look him in the eye. However, Duo was not deterred.
"Hee-chan, I am so sorry about the way I have been acting, and there is no excuse for it, I have been a stubborn, bull-headed, idiotic jerk, feel free to stop me at anytime… I have been rude to out friends and to you, and I haven't been a good husband either. I am not asking for you to forgive me right now, that is up to you when and where and how. And about visiting Wufei, I know you want to, so I am willing to give it a try, for you. Ok?"
Heero hadn't looked Duo in the eye for fear of seeing the look that had been Duo's facial expression for the past few days. However, he did glance at his face through his bangs a couple times, when Duo wasn't aware, and he didn't see the look. All he saw was sincerity in Duo's eyes and a gentle expression on his face. At the end of the speech Heero cautiously looked into Duo's eyes and still only saw the sincerity. Without a word he hugged Duo, laying his head on his shoulder. Duo hugged him back fiercely silently thanking every higher being he could for another chance.
Heero pulled away, still not saying anything, but gazing into Duo's eyes, searching for something he hadn't seen in a long time. He eventually liked what he saw and gave Duo a small smile. Duo own smile widened and he kissed Heero's forehead, taking his koi's hand in his own. Heero's smile grew just a little bit at the gesture, but most wouldn't have noticed.
Duo wasn't one of those people.
They walked at a leisurely pace towards the sounds of laughter and joy of children's voices.
-----
The park was close to the estate where Quatre and Trowa held the parties for the children. So the children would spend their afternoons in the park then go to the house for hot coco, a big dinner, and then the occasional party. The children were becoming more and more fond of the couple, and started to go visit them more often. The ex-pilots didn't mind, it was always fun to have the kids there, so they extended it to an open invitation.
At the moment a handful of the orphans between the ages of 6 and 9, were building a fort out of the large pile of snow – left from the more recent shoveling of the sidewalks – and having a large snowball fight.
The fort itself consisted of a small tunnel going straight through the center and a level snowed area on top for the tower. The youngest of the group, a boy barely turned 6, was currently standing on top, throwing small snowballs at the older kids, who were laughing and running around. A girl and another boy were playing tag, the girl was it. She was attempting to catch the boy and followed him through the tunnel. She was about halfway through when the youngest boy on top managed to hit the oldest of the bunch. He was so excited that he managed to hit an older person; he started jumping up and down on the fort.
Now, seeing as how this fort was made entirely of snow, and there was a tunnel going straight through the center, one can imagine what happened next. The little boy on top jumped one to many times, and the entire fort caved in – right on top of the little girl.
Total elapse time: 6 minutes.
----- 5 minutes earlier -----
As Duo and Heero walked hand in hand towards the happy children, Duo decided to see if Heero would talk to him. "The children do sound happy – I wonder what they're doing?"
Instead of answering right away, Heero had an idea. He unentwined his hand and bent down to make it look like he needed to tie his boot. Duo stopped walking and was slightly curious why Heero would be retying his boot. Heero very casually picked up a handful of snow, turned around and threw it at Duo, hitting him smack dab in the chest – getting snow all over his jacket.
"I believe they're having a snowball fight," Heero's eyes were twinkling as he turned and started walking again.
Duo was in a state of shock, which is a nice way of putting that he was gaping with a complete look of disbelief covering his face. He definitely wasn't expecting *that* from Heero – not that he was complaining. He just stood there like that for about a minute not making a single move, /Heero… Hee-chan just threw a snow ball at me…/
His mind was having slight difficulty processing that bit of information.
Heero's eyes were twinkling again as he grabbed some more snow, "You know, the act of taking snow, making it into a ball, and throwing it at your desired target…" He took aim and got Duo right in the mouth.
That certainly got a reaction out of Duo. In his mind that annoying little voice that pops out at the most unusual times took that moment to appear. /And you're going to let him get away with that? /
Duo's eyes took on an impish gleam and he smiled, "You are *so* gonna get it…"
Heero's eyes flashed, he grinned, and he took off towards the kids, not running at full speed because of the snow. Duo took of after him – at full speed, not really caring about slipping all over the snow, and tackled his snow throwing koi to the ground, pinning him there and tickling him mercilessly.
"Duo!" Heero started laughing. After a few minutes, Heero managed to dislodge his lover's hands from tickling him and entwined their hands together. Heero was panting slightly, trying to catch his breath, is face inches away from Duo's. They gazed into each other's eyes – neither one able to look away. Their faces slowl got closer together. However before they could reach their goal – screams of terror and cries for help collided with their ears.
Without a word, they both jumped up and ran towards the cries. They no longer carried their guns – so they would have to resort to hand-to-hand combat if necessary. They reached the children, who were circled around the fort trying to pull the 6 yr. old out of where he collapsed into the middle. The oldest spotted them and pointed to where the tunnel was supposed to be, "Becky! She's trapped!" One of the littler boys was trying to dig her out. Heero went to the little boy on the top, still stuck in the collapsed fort and pulled him out after a few tugs.
"Are you OK?" The boy was crying, scared out of his mind, and shaking badly. Heero pulled the snow soaked jacket off him and gave the boy his own, pulling him into a hug to try to get him warmed up.
Duo went to where the other boy was attempting to dig up Becky, picked him up, and moved him out of the way. He dug twice as fast and pulled more snow out. Her legs became visible and he grabbed them, pulling her out. She was on her stomach so he turned her over and noticed she wasn't breathing. He checked for a pulse and felt none. He started CPR.
Heero moved to his other side, still carrying the boy, and looked at the girl. She reminded him so much of that other little girl… He hugged the little boy tighter. The oldest of the children had moved the other children over to the swings so they were out of the way of the adults. After 30 seconds of CPR, the little girl was still not breathing.
"Come on… Don't you dare die…"
Neither pilot noticed the tall man that was standing behind the other children.
"Please… not her too… Please."
Duo would not give up. All rational thought told him the girl was not coming back. However the look on Heero's face made him keep trying. The guilt, agony, pain, and fear were evident in his eyes, and his silent pleas were stinging his ears. They were so much like the pleas he had said when Heero's accident happened. It strengthened his resolve for everything. Keeping this girl alive and gaining back all the ground he had lost with Heero. He was NOT going to give up.
Neither pilot noticed when the man smiled giving a small nod, and a push to another young spirit.
The girl suddenly gasped for breath on her own and started coughing. Duo stopped giving her CPR and sat her up. She was still extremely pale and shivering uncontrollably. She turned to Heero when she finally caught her breath, "They're waiting for you. They said it was almost time."
Heero was dumbfounded, "Who is waiting?"
He looked at Duo, but Duo was not looking at him, he paled considerably and was looking at the little girl. "The angels. They said they were waiting for you to come back."
Heero was shocked. /Angels…? What? Who? /
Duo was looking around the playground, looking for someone, or something. His eyes fell on a familiar figure. Odin was standing there, a small smile on his lips. What the smile was for, Duo did not know. He let Odin see his determination through his eyes. Odin smiled a little wider, and disappeared.
Duo did as Heero, giving the girl his jacket and pulling her to his chest. Duo looked at Heero over the top of the girls head, relief and a bit of fear for his koi, showing in his eyes. There was something else in his eyes, but Duo decided to wait until there were alone to ask about it.
Still holding the two children, they lead the other kids to the estate, so they could get them some medical attention if needed.
After spending about two hours with Trowa, Quatre, and the small band of children – making sure they were all ok, Duo and Heero said their good byes and promises of being back for dinner.
-----
Once they were a couple streets away from the children Duo noticed some of the color returning to Heero's features. Despite the cold weather, Heero had become uncharacteristically pale when he heard the words of that little girl.
Duo squeezed his hand reassuringly, "Are you ok Hee-chan?" He knew the playful mood Heero was in earlier was not going to be coming back anytime soon.
"I… she, the little girl… Angels? She wasn't serious right? I mean, she… she was just delusional right? There's not really such a thing as Angels is there?" There was a desperate pull in Heero's voice, which Duo wasn't sure how to respond to. A part of him wanted to reassure Heero that everything was ok and that there was no way he was going to let anything happen to him. Yet another part wanted to tell Heero everything and then reassure him that there was no way he was going to let anything happen to him. Duo looked Heero straight in the eye, he couldn't lie, and he couldn't tell Heero everything either.
"Hee-chan there's always the possibility that angels do exist. I mean just because something can't be seen doesn't mean it's not there. Hey, what's wrong? Why is this bothering you?" Duo moved a little closer and rubbed Heero's arms.
That wasn't the answer Heero was looking for. "/they can't be real. It can't be true. She must have been wrong. I can't go to… to Hea-… I can't go there. I don't deserve it. /" Heero didn't' realize that he was voicing his thought until Duo pulled him into a crushing embrace, "You're wrong Heero, you do deserve to go to heaven, whether you believe it or not. You are the kindest hearted, loving, caring person I have ever met. You made mistakes, everyone does, but you are always beating yourself up over them, and it eats you up inside, I know it does. But that doesn't make you undeserving, it makes you Human. I know you didn't have a chance at a childhood, and you were hurt but that doesn't make you undeserving either."
He tilted Heero's head so he could look him in the eye, "Hee-chan you deserve to be happy, and I am going to give you as much opportunities as I can to make you happy, and make you see how deserving you are. I love you Hee-chan, and I hate to see you sad, or when you have nightmare. There has to be a heaven, cause I know for a fact that is where you are going to end up. Cause I know you. However there is no way I am going to let you get away from me anytime soon to find this all out for yourself."
As Heero listened to what Duo was telling him, he was in a state of disbelief, there was no way what Duo was saying could be true, but that small annoying little voice made a valid point before disappearing to his subconscious state again. /Duo never lies. It goes against his beliefs/.
When Duo tilted his head to see his face, Heero was again afraid of what he would see in Duo's expression. But the look that Heero was expecting was not the one that was situated on his koi's face. Duo had the same look as when they were talking in the park. His expression was gentle, caring, and full of sincerity. It did a lot to ease the doubts that were swirling through Heero's head. There was a strange feeling behind Heero's eyes that felt a lot like tears. However Heero would not give in to them in public. Maybe - *maybe* if they were somewhere, alone, and not on a street – even if it was empty, Heero would give in. But at this moment he settled for letting Duo pull him into a hug, and snuggling close to him, and feeling safe within his arms. A feeling he hadn't felt in a long time and was afraid he had lost forever.
When they pulled apart – an eternity later, Duo once again held Heero's hand. "Are you ok to visit Wufei? Or do you just want to go back to the Inn?"
Heero thought he was hearing things, "You would still come visit Wufei?"
"Why not? I said I would right? We still have a few hours before we have to be at Quat and Tro's for dinner." That earned a small smile and an arigato from Heero.
Duo just grinned back and squeezed his hand. They set off in the direction of the institution that Wufei was residing. Duo hoped that he wouldn't do something stupid to mess up the progress he made with Heero. This was going to be an important test and he knew that if he failed there would be very little hope to showing Heero his true feelings.
The institute in question was a place for ex soldiers to go if they needed help cooping with the effects of war in peace time. Even though Wufei realized the error of his ways in siding with Marimaia, he still had a long way to go until he was ready to head back into the world to help keep the peace.
In the hospital where Heero had been making his recovery, the other pilots had visited their resting comrade. Duo did not take to well to Wufei's presence around Heero – especially when his koi wasn't completely capable of taking care of himself. All that should be said about that incident was: it took 2 orderlies, Trowa, and Quatre to restrain Duo from physically harming Wufei. It was only after Heero woke to the scene and gently called Duo to him did he stop his physical attack. The verbal attack came next which Heero had to literally twist Duo's arm to make him quiet down.
Everyone present in the room knew that the trust Duo had in Wufei had shattered – along with Wufei's ability to forgive himself. Wufei checked into the Institute the next day, trying to regain some of what he had lost from his encounter with the braided pilot. Trowa and Quatre moved close by to where Wufei was, to show their support to their misguided comrade.
Duo had wanted to move as far away from Wufei as possible – least he have some kind of relapse and try to hurt his koibito, but Heero wasn't sure he could bear being that far from his closest friends. So they ended up moving to an apartment a couple hours away by car, in the city.
Duo had not said two words to Wufei since the incident in the hospital. The bridge of trust had been shattered and it would take a miracle for it to be fixed…
As the couple neared the building, Heero glanced at Duo to see if he could figure out what was going on in his head. When no answers were coming, he sighed, "Are you sure you're alright with this?" Heero stopped walking which stopped Duo as well, and looked him in the eye.
Duo took a moment to collect his thoughts which had been running in all directions colliding into each other the entire walk there. /Am I really going to be ok in there? Hee-chan isn't hurt (the obvious "yet" was left off), and I don't think the spirits would posses Wufei or something just to get to Heero – would they? No… they are trying to give me a second chance. Hopefully I'll be able to control my temper… oi. /
"I can't make any promises Hee-chan about this, but I will try to not do something stupid." He was trying to show the sincerity of this words through his eyes as well.
Heero did see the message, /he is being honest…/ He squeezed Duo's hand and gave him a small smile. That alone made Duo forget about why he was mad at Wufei to begin with – Almost.
As they walked through the building, Duo was expecting some kind of hospital set up. However, it was the complete opposite. The entire building was designed like a giant house – not quite mansion. There was a very homey feel to it that the couple noticed right from the entrance.
Wufei was sitting in the basement rec. room, playing a game of chess by himself when Duo and Heero walked down the steps. He didn't notice this fellow pilots until Heero called his name a little quietly. At first he thought he was hearing things, but he looked up anyway. He saw Heero and Duo not to far away, keeping out of his personal space.
Wufei stood, bowing slightly to the pilots, "Yui, Maxwell. What brings you here?"
"We came to see how you were doing, and wish you a merry Christmas." Heero spoke up talking calmly. More for Duo's benefit than anything else, "It's good to see you're in good health."
There was an awkward silence developing between Duo and Wufei. Duo was more concerned with not messing up over anything else. The best way for him to do that was to keep quiet. However, it seemed fate was against him yet again.
"Come, have a seat," Wufei pulled over some more chairs for Duo and Heero, giving Duo more time to collect himself. "What brings you all the way out here? Don't you usually spend Christmas together at your apartment?"
"Well, I wanted to give Hee-chan a chance to spend Christmas with you guys, it's been a while since we've been on a vacation with the yard and all…"
"You always were spontaneous during the wars." Duo tensed slightly at the mention of the wars, and moved a little closer to Heero protectively. If Wufei or Heero noticed, they didn't say anything.
"Wufei? How are you doing?" Heero decided to talk to Wufei, giving Duo a chance to calm down.
"I am doing better. Thank you for keeping in touch with those emails and such. It has helped a lot."
Duo muttered something under his breathe, which earned him a glare from Heero and a slight wince from Wufei.
"Maxwell, how is your yard doing?" Duo tensed at the mention of the yard. It brought up a few memories he really didn't want to remember. There was a hand on his arm and Duo realized that he had been lost fighting back memories.
"It's doing well." He said tersely. "Why do you ask Wufei? Didn't think I could make the yard work, did you? Me being that baka pilot and all, I could never do much right to you could I?" Duo caught his tongue, realizing that his attempt to hold the memories at bay didn't work as well as he hoped, and he took out the anger at that on Wufei. He also realized that if he kept this up he was going to regret it later. He only had a little bit of time left with Heero, and the argument they were already going to have over this was going to be bad enough – there was no need for him to continue throwing wood into that particular fire.
Duo took a minute to collect himself, and turned to Heero, "I need to go, you can stay if you want, but I am gonna head for a walk, then meet you at Quat and Tro's for the party." With that he walked – not run – up the stairs and out of the building, not looking back.
Heero turned to Wufei, "I'm sorry. I have to talk to him." Wufei nodded to him, not making a verbal response.
Heero ran up the stairs after Duo. When he got outside he found Duo walking across the street. Calling out to him was not something Heero wanted to do – old habits die hard. As he caught up with Duo, he didn't bother being quiet, there was no need for him to.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened in there?" Heero's voice wasn't condemning, angry, happy, or even pushing for an answer. It was said in his normal quiet monotone. He knew Duo needed a chance to gather his thoughts so he just let him walk.
/I can't believe I exploded like that. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but that's not the point, I should've had more control than that. I am such a baka! Hee-chan is going to be mad at me; I can't believe I screwed up again! Kuso! How am I going to explain this to him? I don't know what to say… but I have to tell him someth- No! I have to tell him the truth. He deserves that much before he makes good on that Omae wo Koruso threat of his. /
With that thought Duo stopped walking and turned to Heero. /Here goes nothing…/
"Heero, I am sorry about blowing up at Wufei like that. I really did try, but I couldn't do it. Honest, I did try to keep a better hold over my anger towards him under control, but at the mention of the yard, I just lost control. I know you're mad at me, and I'm really sorry. I can't seem to do anything right, maybe Wufei was right, maybe I am just a baka." He turned his head away, all his anger draining away to leave guilt at hurting Heero and probably making the last mistake towards him – using up his last chance with his koibito.
"Duo, could you tell me exactly why you and Wufei have such a bad relationship?" The couple had never really talked about this, but Heero assumed it just had to do with the Eve Wars and his fight with Wufei. He didn't realize that the hurt/anger ran deeper than that.
"Did you ever notice that Wufei and I weren't partnered together on any missions? I guess the scientists realized our personalities clashed to much – that we would blotch it up. Well, they were sorta right. Remember that time when the five of us met for the first time at the base?" Duo didn't want to bring up any unpleasant memories for Heero, but he wanted to start at the beginning. And he realized said memories were resurfacing as Heero tensed greatly.
"I'm sorry Hee-chan I didn't mean to bring up unpleasant memories for you. Are you ok?"
Heero nodded slightly, "I'll be ok, go ahead and finish."
Duo hesitated slightly before continuing, "Wufei did a background search on us pilots, like we all did, to get an idea of our training and such. When he did mine, he didn't find much, seeing as how I was a street rat and didn't meet G until later. Wufei is a smart guy, he put 2 and 5 together to get 3, and realized that I was from L2, and was probably a street rat. His attitude towards me changed then, he made some assumptions and acted like he was better than me, seeing as how he was a top notch martial artist/ heir to the Dragon clan, AND a scholar to boot. I'll just say he was arrogant, and snobby. He always found a way to put me down some how when he thought something was my fault.
"I didn't do anything to change his mind; it stopped bothering me that people acted that way when I was still on L2. But then I had you with me, and nothing he said could phase me, I was on cloud nine. When the Eve Wars came thought, and you fought him, and crashed into the Earth twice, I thought I had lost you. And at that point I could no longer continue being the noisy braided baka he thought I was. When he came to the hospital you know it took a lot of people to restrain me from killing him. He never respected me as a person, or a pilot, and he almost killed you, there is little chance I'll ever be able to forgive him. Given some more time… maybe."
Heero was astounded. He hadn't realized the extent of what had happened between Duo and Wufei, or that the two of them had never been on a mission together.
"Duo, I'm sorry for forcing you to go visit Wufei. But you should know the attitude towards you he had during the war is not the same anymore. That was one of the first things I made him change before I would forgive him. I'm sorry Duo; I didn't know it was that bad between you two. Forgive me for dragging you along?"
"What? Hee-chan, I should be asking you for forgiveness again! I was the one that blew up at Wufei and stormed out, it wasn't your fault! You didn't know."
"I'm not mad at you Duo; believe me when I say I know how hard it is to control your anger sometimes."
Duo couldn't take it anymore; he pulled Heero into a huge hug, talking into his shoulder, "Arigato Hee-chan I'm so sorry. I promise I'll try to make peace with 'Fei."
"Thank you for telling me what was bothering you." Heero hesitantly hugged Duo back.
Duo realized that he was also not talking to Heero about things anymore – mainly because he was never really there, and when he was he didn't want to bother Heero with his problems.
/That'll change right after Christmas also. / He didn't even bother with the "if" of finding that Ultimate Gift or not – he *would* find it.
When Duo realized that they were still standing in on a *public* sidewalk, he reluctantly pulled away – he knew how much Heero didn't like big PDA. He gently took Heero's hand in his own, "We still have some time before that party at the estate. Do ya think they could use a hand setting up?"
"Sure," it would be a good distraction for both of them.
-----
As the couple got closer to the manor, and the voices of happy children reached their ears the mood between them began to lose its negativity, and started to resemble that of Christmas cheer.
By the time they were at the front door, Duo was able to put on his grin and give all the kids that ran to greet them bug hugs.
"Mr. Duo!! Mr. Duo! Come help with the tree! There are so many pretty ornaments that have to go on!"
"You guys are early. Come in. Come in." Quatre came out to see what all the excitement was about. He shook both their hands and led them into the house, the children running about the tri in circles. They walked to the back yard – where one of the largest trees on the estate was being decorated by Trowa and all the kids. Trowa was lifting up one of the younger girls so she could put an angel up near the top to look over everyone.
"Hey Quat," Duo pulled Quatre back a little so he could talk to him for a minute. Heero was busy with the kids so it was a perfect time for Duo to apologize to Quatre, "I want to apologize for how I acted in the car, as well as all those times I wasn't able to make it to come visit you guys with Heero. There is no excuse for forgetting how important you guys are to me and for acting so rudely yesterday. I am sorry for my behavior and I want to make it up to you somehow."
Quatre felt as well as heard the sincerity behind Duo's words. Duo really was sorry for his behavior and Quatre was glad, although slightly confused as to what had brought on the sudden change in his friend. "There was no harm done. I am glad to have you back Duo." Now wasn't the time to ask about the sudden change, it would damper the cheery mood and Quatre didn't want that.
/Besides/ Quatre mused, /…there will be plenty of time for that after Christmas…/
-----
Heero noticed Duo pull Quatre aside, /probably going to apologize for his behavior yesterday/. Heero sighed. Duo had been doing a lot of apologizing lately. The only question that remained for Heero was /what changed? Why did Duo's attitude suddenly make a 360 and change so much over night no less? / He sighed again. Wufei was right about one thing, Duo was always spontaneous during the wars.
This was no different.
He was pulled away from his thoughts as the kids started tugging him to the tree to help with the decorating. He put on a small smile for the children and followed them over to the tree. He smiles at Trowa and followed his example of lifting the younger kids up into the air so they could reach the higher parts of the tree. Quatre and Duo came back over and helped with the decorations also. Everyone was smiling happily as the decorated the tree.
/This is what Christmas should be about. Spending time with your loved ones and friends…/ with those thoughts Heero was able, for the time being, to put Duo's strange behavior aside, and almost completely block out what happened with 'fei. This was not the time for sad thoughts, or unhappy memories.
Those could be set aside for after Christmas…
Heero's smile brightened slightly with those thoughts and he tickled one of the children next to him.
Over to a corner of the yard, unbeknownst to anyone living, sat Sister Helen and Odin. "I think he finally figured out that he should be spending time with Heero not worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow night," said Sister Helen.
"Well it's about time." They sat together watching the couples and children while they shared this happy moment.
Despite Quatre's lavish upbringing, dinner was not all that formal; in fact it was the exact opposite. There was of course lots of food – with all the kids and Duo there, that was a given. Everyone sat together at the large table, taking whatever they pleased from the large spread.
Diner was by no means a quiet affair either. Everyone was talking to each other about all the exciting things that they did all day and fantasy presents that they would like for Christmas. As dinner came to a close Quatre stood up. "Well it's almost time to get those ornaments on the tree, right kids?"
He smiled as a loud chorus or "yeas!" and cheers rang up from all the kids. "Ok kids! Trowa, can you and Duo take the kids to get their ornaments? Heero and I will get there plates and such put away ok?" Everyone nodded their heads and got up from the table, the children eager to get the last of the ornaments on the tree, so everything would be ready for Santa. The rest of the estate was decorated as well, done by the children, Quatre and Trowa, and the servants there, who were all given off for the holiday, but chose to stay and help decorate.
Duo raced some of the younger children out of the room, while Trowa followed at a more subdued pace with the rest of them. The two older men stayed towards the house as the children gathered their ornaments and went to find the best place to put them on the tree. While they watched the kids, Duo thought this would be a good opportunity to apologize to Trowa as well.
"Hey Tro, I want to apologize for my behavior in the car yesterday and how I've been acting towards you and Quat for a while. You guys are my closets friends and I haven't been acting much like a good friend (/or lover for that matter/) back to any of you. Trowa looked Duo in the eye for a moment, judging the sincerity of his words. "It's not a problem Duo. How are things going between you and Heero?" He didn't miss the obvious tension between the couple yesterday either.
Duo's posture suddenly saddened, "I… I made a big mistake towards Hee-chan and I've been trying to make things right."
/Maybe that would explain the distance between them in the car/ Trowa thought, /But they both looked happier when they arrived. Was it just another mask? /
Trowa didn't push for details as to what Duo had done. He had a general idea as it was, from past instances where they had tried getting together as a group and Duo would suddenly cancel at the last minute, leaving Heero alone, and having to explain his lover's absence. Besides, that was there own private matter and it wasn't Trowa's place to pry. If Duo asked for advice or anything like that, he would gladly give him some. Or if Duo needed someone to talk to, he could always talk to him, "You know you can talk to me if you need to Duo."
/No, I can't. Not about this at least/ "Yeah, thanks Tro. That means a lot. You know you've changed some since the wars. More so around Quatre than anyone else, even us. But the change is still evident if you know where to look."
Trowa only nodded at his friend's sudden change of subject. And he wasn't completely sure where Duo was going with the conversation. He decided to give his friend the benefit of the doubt, "Thanks."
"In fact we've all changed – and not all of us for the better." They bother knew Duo meant himself. "You know you and Quatre have something really special. Don't ever take it for granted cause if you do, it'll be harder if you lose it, or it gets taken away from you. It's the worst feeling in the world to lose someone that important to you and not even realize that importance until after they are gone." Duo stopped talking and looked over at the kids. Trowa was stunned – not sure what to think about what Duo was telling him.
Then Duo turned back to his friend and looked him in the eye, "Life is precious Trowa. Treat the one's you love like precious gifts that need the utmost care and love. Always try to treat your time with them the same care – never take it for granted, don't put things off, otherwise you may never get the chance to do it again –" Duo stopped talking and looked to be blinking back tears.
Trowa was stunned, shocked and quite frankly didn't know what to say. After a minute Trowa finally spoke up, "Duo maybe you were wrong about something – we're all changing still – and it's all in a good way." He gave Duo a small smile and there was a soft look in his eyes. Duo returned the smile momentarily before they both turned back to the kids.
There were a few minutes of silence before Duo spoke up again. "Hey Tro, do you think you can handle the kids for a bit? I'm gonna go see how Quat and Hee-chan are doing with those dishes." Trowa nodded and Duo went back towards the kitchen to see how things were going with his koibito and friend.
As he got closer to the door he heard muffled voices and the faint sounds of what might have been crying. He knew he shouldn't snoop, but Duo couldn't help it. He stealthily made his way towards the door, hoping Heero and Quatre wouldn't notice his presence to soon.
He stopped when he was just within hearing range, "…changed Quat, I don't understand him anymore. It's like he's hiding something from me…" There were some muffled words as they moved around the kitchen then, "…I don't know what to do…"
Duo stopped listening at that point, sneaking out of the hall and reentering making noise like he normally would, to give Heero a chance to compose himself, a wide, fake, grin plastered on his face. Had he stayed and listened more he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep even a fake grin on his face. /I still have lots of work to do as far as Hee-chan is concerned. Some of the issues between us were resolved today, but that wasn't the last of them, not by a long shot. /
Duo needed more time… which was something that he didn't have at all…
----- (Heero and Quatre) -----
"…Heero and I will get these plates and such put away." Everyone nodded as Quatre gave out the final directions before the tree lighting.
Heero wasn't completely paying attention to everything everyone was saying by the end of the meal. He knew Quatre wanted to talk to him about a lot of things – most of which concerned his braided boyfriend and was just trying to figure out the best way to go about telling him about it. He wasn't sure how much his empathic friend had already picked up on, so maybe he could wait for Quatre to get the ball rolling so to speak, and he could just pick up where the empathy left off.
/That's what I'll do/ Heero nodded to himself to reaffirm his resolve. Duo's action's since the end of the war – when he started changing – left Heero finding it a little difficult to open up to people, especially those already close to him. He did stay in close contact with the other pilots, but most of the time he still let them start the conversations.
Today was no different.
As the kids filed out to the tree followed closely by Duo and Trowa, Quatre and Heero started bringing the food and plates into the kitchen to be preserved for the orphans to take home. Little was said as the ex-pilots brought the food into the kitchen which gave Heero more time to think. Heero was glad that the blonde had given him more time to gather his thoughts. He knew he couldn't hold off on this forever, and when they were both in the kitchen with all the food and plates brought in, Heero knew his time was up.
He just hoped he would be able to keep his emotions under control.
"I think it's safe to say everyone loved the food, there's hardly anything left." Quatre knew his friend was tense so he decided to try relaxing him a bit before getting into questioning him.
There was a soft snort from Heero and he started to involuntarily relax. /It's just Quatre. I can talk to him… I hope. /
Quatre forged on, taking his comrades reaction as a good sign. "It figures though, with Duo and a room full of hyper children, we should have seen this coming." Heero tensed slightly back up at the mention of his lover's name, which Quatre did notice but continued anyway. /He needs to talk about this before it's too late. /
"I'm glad you two decided to come to the party and stay for vacation, we were all starting to miss you. Have you been enjoying your vacation?" Heero became extremely tense at the question, going into what Duo used to call 'mission mode.' His grip on the cup he was holding was almost to the point of breaking it and he had to force himself to let go. Heero gave a small nod to answer his question.
"That's good. After the rocky start in the car yesterday, which Duo did apologize for, I'm glad things are looking up." The way Heero was moving about the kitchen and loading dishes in the washer told a different story. Quatre decided to try a slightly different tactic.
"What made you guys change your minds about coming down to visit? Was Duo finally able to snag some time away from Hilde and the yard?"
That did it. Heero dropped the plate into the sink a little too hard so it shattered the gripped the edge leaning forward against it like he would fall over. "Does he love me?"
It was so faintly said Quatre wasn't sure he heard correctly, "Heero?"
"Does he still love me?" Heero turned towards Quatre as he said it letting him see the fear and hurt on his face that he knew the empathy was sensing from his heart. His blue eyes begged for reassurance.
"Oh, Heero, why would you ask something like that?" He moved closer to his friend.
"Ever since the wars ended he's been so different, always away on business trips with Hilde, or at the office working late. He seems so different from the wars, like now that we're not in constant mortal danger and running from an army, or trying to bring world peace, he's drifting away from those he 'says' he cares about the most."
"Heero… you can't think that is true right?" Quatre knew something was wrong but he didn't realize it was that bad.
"I honestly can't be sure. He's changed Quat. I don't understand him anymore. It's like he is hiding something from me. This whole trip was his idea. Well it was his idea that the two of us would go someplace that I wanted to go. It was completely out of the blue. Then the phone rang. It was Hilde, but instead of canceling the trip until after Christmas – he started to get frantic and hung up on her." They were both silent for a minute before Heero sighed and kept going. "I just… I don't know what to do anymore."
Quatre pulled his friend into a big hug, both of them knowing he needed the contact.
However, before he was able to say anything to help his distraught friend they both heard someone coming down the hall towards the kitchen. With one final squeeze and a whispered, 'it'll be alright,' Quatre let Heero go and turned back to the food giving his friend a moment of privacy to compose himself before the person in the hall got there.
Heero was grateful for that small bit of privacy and was able to pull himself together before Duo made it to the kitchen.
"Hey are you guys ready? Those kids are starting to make me seem calm!"
Quatre chuckled slightly, "And you left Trowa out there by himself? Well all the food is put away, and the dishes can be finished up later. So let's go!"
The three ex-pilots went out back to the tree lighting and party. When they got there Quatre went over to talk with Trowa while Duo went to get his and Heero's ornaments. Heero just looked around the yard and to all the kids who were standing around the tree waiting with varying degrees of patience for the tree to be lit.
"Here you go Hee-chan." Duo handed him his ornament as the both made their way over to the tree. "Remember what you told me during the war? Every ornament is special and it has its own special spot on the tree?"
Heero blinked, "You were actually listening to me when I said that?"
"Of course I was Hee-chan. You don't talk a lot, but when you do I always listen. Here, you go first."
Heero gave his braided partner a semi questioning look before briefly closing his eyes and slowly moving his arm to a branch on the tree. When he found the right spot he placed the ornament there and opened his eyes to find Duo smiling gently at him. "Excellent choice Hee-chan."
Duo closed his eyes and placed his ornament next to Heero's. Heero had a strange look in his eyes but it disappeared seconds after Duo looked back at him.
"What?"
Heero just shook his head and turned back towards Quatre and Trowa. Trowa nodded slightly to him as they had one of those silent conversations and nudged Quatre towards the little gazebo to get the party started.
"Ok everyone! It's that time of the year." He wanted a few seconds for the children to calm down before continuing. "And now… the moment we've all been waiting for…" He nodded to the head of the orphanage that was standing close by ready to make the final connection that would light everything up. She nodded back and connected the two wires.
Nothing happened.
She tired again and still nothing.
All the kids moaned in disappointment. However, Quatre, who was always the peacekeeper, spoke up before the kids could rebel. "Now, now there is probably only a faulty wire, so Miss Gretta will look at them, and the rest of us can do a sing-a-long! Right Trowa?"
Trowa was already getting out his flute and Quatre's violin and just nodded. He handed his lover the violin and received a kiss on the cheek in return, which was promptly followed by "oooh's" from all the kids and one whistle from a certain braided pilot.
Ignoring the children Quatre asked if there were any requests. Duo had a sudden idea and jumped up to the gazebo. He whispered something to Quatre, which earned him a strange look from both musicians. Duo just raised an eyebrow. He picked up the microphone – tapping it once to see if it worked and got a loud screech of feed back.
Duo looked over at Heero and smiled at the perplexed look on his koibito's face. He then turned to Quatre and received a nod. He nodded back and waited for the music to start. When his cue came, he started to sing:
[I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where tree tops glisten and children listen
To hear the sleigh bells in the snow]
He gave Heero another small smile and descended the stairs of the gazebo towards his koi.
[I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
With every time I see your eyes
May you dreams be merry and bright
And may you Christmas be white…]
When the verse was over Duo handed the microphone to the oldest orphan closest to him and he looked into Heero's eyes, "dance with me Hee-chan?"
"I thought you said you couldn't sing?" His words were playful not accusing. Heero took the invitation and the two of them danced slowly together to the sounds of Trowa and Quatre's beautiful music. The kids finished singing the song.
-------
Sister Helen sat off to the side making sure to stay out of Duo's line of vision, smiling at memories of the Christmas she was able to spend with him. As she wiped a tear from her eye at the memories, the plug was put in again to light the tree. The only difference was this time it did.
There was a collective "oooh" from everyone. Duo looked over Heero's head to see Sister Helen smiling at him. He smiled back and hugged Heero closer to him.
Together the couple turned to look at the tree and listen to the sweet melodies of a flute and violin duet. Everyone forgot their problems and their hearts were warmed from the music, lights and each other.
Everything was just perfect.
~+~+~+~+~+~ Owari part 4 ~+~+~+~+~+~
Kinda makes you sad Heero is gonna die tomorrow doesn't it?
C&C anyone?
Little Angel
The events in this fic do not completely correspond with the set up of the movie. (ie: things happen out of order.)
Additional AN: I don't own the song White Christmas... nor do I own the g-boys, but I am barrowing both for the purposes of this story... I changed the words around slightly in the song... I hope you all don't mind... ^^;
Enjoy!
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
3 Days part 4: Day 2....Count down time: 1 day before Christmas Eve
As the sun peaked over the horizon, it swept through the room, illuminating everything it touched with its soft presence. Duo sat watching how said beams of light danced across his koi's face. Strangely though, Heero hadn't risen with the sun like he usually would.
Duo received a very small measure of sleep that night, instead choosing to stay awake and just look at Heero. Something he hadn't done since the first war. He realized how much his koi had grown up since then, and filled out in all the right places. He noticed how Heero twitched his nose slightly as he slept, and how his hair didn't seem as wild, but framed his peaceful face just right, giving him an even more alluring look than ever before. It also made him much more mysterious. Duo watched everything about him, engraving the image in his mind.
Well he was until he felt a strange sensation, making him want to go to the window. He carefully extracted himself from Heero, to go see what was so important. Peculiarly though Heero still didn't wake, but he did make a sad face and cuddle closer to Duo's pillow.
The owner of said pillow was torn between going to the window and crawling back under the covers. However, something inside was telling him that this was important. He brushed Heero's bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. Heero still didn't want to wake up, but the sad look vanished almost completely, to be replaced by his peaceful sleeping expression. Duo continued over to the window, what he saw made him want to gasp, but he restrained himself at the last minute.
Outside standing on the walkway was the strange locksmith and a small boy that looked surprisingly like ..../Solo/.....
/But he's.... dead....it can't be.../ Duo grabbed a pair of pants and boots completely forgetting about his jacket.
'Do you think he's gonna come?'
'He'll be here... just give him some time.' As the small boy finished speaking the front door of the bed and breakfast opened and out came Duo clad in a t-shirt, pants and boots, his hair still braided from before.
"You!! What in the world are YOU doing here? What now you stalk people you grant wishes to?"
"Don't push it brat, I'm still against this wish. I personally think Heero deserves better... but since he fell for you.. We're trying to give you a chance to not mess up again. And frankly so far you're doing a really crappy job." The locksmith... Odin? seemed pissed at Duo.
"Yeah well I am trying the best I can here."
"Well for once your best isn't good enough."
Duo growled.
"Hey! Cool it you two!"
Duo noted for the first time that the small blonde boy was standing there. He just stared... /Solo?.... It's can't be.../
"Geez Duo... you look like you've seen a ghost or something...''
"S...Solo?"
"And who else would I be?"
The weather suddenly wasn't felt as Duo went numb inside. He knelt down on the sidewalk, not caring about anything except the small figure in front of him. He went to put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but Solo pulled away before he could.
"Sorry D. Can't touch. It's a rule.' He had an apologetic look on his pale face.
"Hey snap out of it down there!" Odin seemed to be loosing what was left of his patience.
Duo on the other hand, snapped out of the trance type state he was in and stood up; the weather once again making it known, full force. "What do you mean another chance?" The earlier conversation came back to him.
"Maybe give you advice on how to not screw up anymore?" Odin was still really pissed at how Duo was handling the wish, so he was being very sarcastic.
"Frankly Duo I have to agree with Odin on this. You're not doing a very good job here."
"I need more time! It took me a hell of a lot more than 3 days to get Heero to open up to me the first time. This isn't very different!"
"Oh Really? So you're saying that he's STILL an emotionless soldier?" Odin was getting a bit angrier.
Duo noticed the anger washing off the spirit in waves. He had the decency to look a bit afraid and flinch back slightly.
"It's not that... it's just..." He wasn't sure how to explain the situation to them. After taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts he proceeded. He looked right into Odin's eyes as he talked, not once breaking eye contact, to show the sincerity of his words. The fact that Odin was dead never really got put into play. It was like he was really there, just another person talking to him on the street.
"Heero's not an emotionless soldier, he never was, at least I never saw him that way. He's strong in mind and body, determined, loyal and dedicated to a worthy cause. That's what I fell in love with. He's also gentle and has this childlike innocence about things, which I also love about him. I guess I started to take him for granted when I realized that he loved me enough to want to stay... when I realized he wasn't going to die and leave me like everyone else I loved.... I didn't realize how much I was hurting him though. I love him with all my soul, I really do. But it's gonna take me longer than three days to make this up all my mistakes to Hee-chan. I need more time... please." The last word was barely a whisper.
Odin didn't say anything at first... he seemed to be considering something.
"Well Odin?" Solo sounded hopeful about something.
"Fine... but I am agreeing under slight protest." With that he just disappeared.
Solo sighed. Duo blinked, "Agree to what?"
"Look .... Duo... there is a way for you to save Heero's life. -" Duo cut him off looking hopeful, "Really? How? I'll do anything!!"
"You have to give Heero the Ultimate Gift. Something so special that it'll take away an doubts and fears about you not loving him."
"What is this Ultimate Gift?"
"I can't tell you... you have to figure it out on your own... Look, I have said too much already. You should get inside before you catch your death with a cold... Good bye Duo... Until we meet again." With that he also just disappeared.
"S...Solo? NO!! Wait!!!" But it was too late he was gone. The wind picked up again and Duo ran inside muttering about ghosts and their stupid need to be mysterious.
When he got back to the room, he didn't dare jump back into bed, for fear of waking Heero. So he just sat next to him, on a chair - watching him - something he hadn't done in a long time.
Heero awoke a little while later, noticing he was alone in bed /was it all a dream? / He sensed someone watching him and he turned towards said person. "Duo? Why are you sitting over there?"
"I had to get up for a second, and I didn't want to wake you up when I got back. Besides I never get to watch you sleep anymore." Duo scooted closer to the bed and reached over to push some of the bangs away from Heero's face. When said hand touched Heero's face, he shivered involuntarily.
"Duo Your FREEZING! What were you doing? Standing outside in your boxers?" He pulled Duo under the covers with him, rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm him up.
Duo just chuckled, "Umm... well actually it was a T-shirt, pants and boots....."
"Baka… Were you TRYING to kill yourself?" /pleasedontsayyespleasedontsayyes..../
"Of course not Hee-chan. Why would I want to do something like that?"
Heero didn't say anything in return to that; he just kept trying to warm Duo up.
"...So what do you have planned for us today Hee-chan?"
"I haven't thought about it... Could we just tour the town a bit? See what's changed since we last visited?" /since the wars.../
"Hey, this vacation is all for YOU remember? Anything YOU want to do. That sounds like fun... And we can go to the park - see some of the kids."
They just lay in bed cuddling for a bit longer then got up for the day of 'exploring' that was ahead. Duo was DETERMINED to not screw-up today, like he had yesterday and all those times before. But little did he know, that fate, or as he would later think - a meddling spirit, would get in the way.
---Around Noonish---
"Hey Hee-chan, are you getting hungry at all? I saw this great little place right down the road is you wanna stop for lunch."
"Sure." Duo and Heero had been walking around the town for most of the morning. They had done some window shopping but not much else. Heero seemed hesitant about something but Duo wasn't sure what.
When they reached the restaurant Duo realized that he hadn't held Heero's hand while they had walked around the town. At the end of the war whenever they went out, Duo always held the Japanese pilot's hand - no matter the looks they got from people. Duo always glared right back and held Heero's hand tighter. That small gesture always spoke volumes of how he felt towards Heero. Duo vowed to do it after they left the restaurant.
/Is that what's bothering him?/ Duo pulled out Heero's chair for him, then sat down himself ignoring the few strange looks he got from some of the customers.
As they were waiting for their food, Duo pulled out a small box and handed it to Heero.
"What's this?"
"An early Christmas present... Go on open it."
"Oh my gods... Duo... When did you... Where .... How?"
"Do you like it?" Inside the box was a small crystal dolphin splashing above the waves. "I got it earlier when we were looking around. I slipped into the store while you were looking around at the books... Are you mad?"
"No... Duo... you didn't have to get me this..."
"But I want to show you how much I love you Hee-chan."
/He's doing that again..../
"Aa." Just then they're food arrived and they started eating.
Halfway through the meal Heero spoke up... although he seemed sorta hesitant... "Duo... There is one place I want to go before we leave..."
"Where is that Hee-chan?"
"I was thinking we could stop by and see Wufei... we haven't seen him since the wa-"
"What!? You want us to actually go see that two timing... backstabbing..."
"Duo stop it! Just because he switched sides during the wars doesn't make him the enemy."
"He tried to kill you for gods' sake! There is no way we're going there. No and I mean it." Heero just gave him a look, got up and left - not once saying a word.
Duo was pissed, it was only lunch time and he was already screwing up.
"Kuso!" He threw his fork down, left a lot of money on the table and went after Heero. "Which way did he go?"
Duo was looking around frantically when he heard a familiar voice, "Duo, honey, you need to calm down."
Duo froze... /It can't be.../ "Sis...Sister Helen?" He turned around and came face to face with another face that haunted his nightmares.
"No Duo this is not a dream. I am really here, just like Solo was."
Duo was speechless; he felt his anger slowly drain only to be replaced by confusion and sadness.
"Duo what happened to you? You've changed so much... why?" He looked away suddenly not feeling very much on anything except shame.
"I...I don't know... I'm really trying Sister Helen.. but I can't seem to do anything right. I got Hee-chan a present then I went and yelled at him."
"Maybe you are trying to hard?"
"What!? how?"
"Honey, think back to when you and this boy started going out, what did you do?"
Duo thought back, and without even realizing it started talking with a small smile and a glow in his eyes. "...I always held his hand when we went places - even if it was up to the office at work.. Hee-chan loves to cuddle, he always said it made him feel safe and warm... I loved to hold him because I wanted to protect him from the world and his nightmares.. I always told him how much I loved him and he would give me a small smile... he loves to watch the sun rise... I have so many pictures of him curled in the chair on our balcony asleep after he watched the sun..."
"So why did you stop? And why aren't you doing those things now?"
"What?"
"Look back on what you just told me and compare it to how you have been acting these past two days. You haven't held his hand to one place you've gone. You've been snapping at your friends AND him. When was the last time you watched him/the sunrise together? When was the last time you talked with your friends in person? How has he been responding to your declarations of love? Do you even know why he's reaction is so different?"
Duo shook his head slightly.
"These past two days when ever you said anything remotely loving and endearing it's been said frantically with a strange gleam in your eye… it's like you're trying to convince yourself just as much as him. It's like you are trying to convince yourself that you do *still* love him. Anything endearing that you have done, like dancing last night, cuddling this morning, the present you gave him… they've all been spoiled because of how you expressed your love."
Duo winced as her words hit home and looked away again. /How am I ever going to fix this? /
"Duo look at me." He slowly raised his gaze to her face, surprised to see the loving expression she always had instead of disappointment.
"Why can't you just be yourself? Be the person that Heero fell in love with... not this stranger he is with now."
"But -"
"Don't worry about how much time you have left with him. If you do that then you'll never be able to give him the Ultimate Gift… Now… he's on his way to the park." With that said she slowly disappeared.
"No! Wait!" It was too late, she was gone. Duo took a minute to try and comprehend what the spirit had told him. /They're right, I keep trying to hard and I'm just pushing him away. I can't believe this. I have to try harder! No wait! Sister Helen said I shouldn't try harder… Just be me… I can do this… I HAVE to do this. / With those thoughts he ran to the park. The wind picked up as he ran. He thought he heard Sister Helen's voice whisper through the wind "/Good luck little one. /"
----
Duo turned the corner and stopped short. Heero was just ahead walking slowly with his arms crossed and head bowed. Duo walked fast enough to catch up with him, without running. When he did catch up, he fell into step with the man that held his heart, and looked at the ground as well. If Heero noticed the approach, which he probably did, he didn't say anything about it, but he also didn't turn in another direction either, so Duo took that as a good sign.
Neither man spoke, each for his own reasons, for about 5 minutes, when Duo was unable to take the silence any longer.
"Hee-chan, I wan to apologize for what I said about visiting Wufei." Heero just kept walking, not bothering with any kind of acknowledgements. Duo was semi sure he was listening so he went on, "When you said that, it took me by surprise and I was wrong to snap at you like that."
Again no response.
Duo stopped walking and pulled Heero to a stop as well, turning him so they were face to face. Heero moved with Duo's hold, but he still wouldn't look him in the eye. However, Duo was not deterred.
"Hee-chan, I am so sorry about the way I have been acting, and there is no excuse for it, I have been a stubborn, bull-headed, idiotic jerk, feel free to stop me at anytime… I have been rude to out friends and to you, and I haven't been a good husband either. I am not asking for you to forgive me right now, that is up to you when and where and how. And about visiting Wufei, I know you want to, so I am willing to give it a try, for you. Ok?"
Heero hadn't looked Duo in the eye for fear of seeing the look that had been Duo's facial expression for the past few days. However, he did glance at his face through his bangs a couple times, when Duo wasn't aware, and he didn't see the look. All he saw was sincerity in Duo's eyes and a gentle expression on his face. At the end of the speech Heero cautiously looked into Duo's eyes and still only saw the sincerity. Without a word he hugged Duo, laying his head on his shoulder. Duo hugged him back fiercely silently thanking every higher being he could for another chance.
Heero pulled away, still not saying anything, but gazing into Duo's eyes, searching for something he hadn't seen in a long time. He eventually liked what he saw and gave Duo a small smile. Duo own smile widened and he kissed Heero's forehead, taking his koi's hand in his own. Heero's smile grew just a little bit at the gesture, but most wouldn't have noticed.
Duo wasn't one of those people.
They walked at a leisurely pace towards the sounds of laughter and joy of children's voices.
-----
The park was close to the estate where Quatre and Trowa held the parties for the children. So the children would spend their afternoons in the park then go to the house for hot coco, a big dinner, and then the occasional party. The children were becoming more and more fond of the couple, and started to go visit them more often. The ex-pilots didn't mind, it was always fun to have the kids there, so they extended it to an open invitation.
At the moment a handful of the orphans between the ages of 6 and 9, were building a fort out of the large pile of snow – left from the more recent shoveling of the sidewalks – and having a large snowball fight.
The fort itself consisted of a small tunnel going straight through the center and a level snowed area on top for the tower. The youngest of the group, a boy barely turned 6, was currently standing on top, throwing small snowballs at the older kids, who were laughing and running around. A girl and another boy were playing tag, the girl was it. She was attempting to catch the boy and followed him through the tunnel. She was about halfway through when the youngest boy on top managed to hit the oldest of the bunch. He was so excited that he managed to hit an older person; he started jumping up and down on the fort.
Now, seeing as how this fort was made entirely of snow, and there was a tunnel going straight through the center, one can imagine what happened next. The little boy on top jumped one to many times, and the entire fort caved in – right on top of the little girl.
Total elapse time: 6 minutes.
----- 5 minutes earlier -----
As Duo and Heero walked hand in hand towards the happy children, Duo decided to see if Heero would talk to him. "The children do sound happy – I wonder what they're doing?"
Instead of answering right away, Heero had an idea. He unentwined his hand and bent down to make it look like he needed to tie his boot. Duo stopped walking and was slightly curious why Heero would be retying his boot. Heero very casually picked up a handful of snow, turned around and threw it at Duo, hitting him smack dab in the chest – getting snow all over his jacket.
"I believe they're having a snowball fight," Heero's eyes were twinkling as he turned and started walking again.
Duo was in a state of shock, which is a nice way of putting that he was gaping with a complete look of disbelief covering his face. He definitely wasn't expecting *that* from Heero – not that he was complaining. He just stood there like that for about a minute not making a single move, /Heero… Hee-chan just threw a snow ball at me…/
His mind was having slight difficulty processing that bit of information.
Heero's eyes were twinkling again as he grabbed some more snow, "You know, the act of taking snow, making it into a ball, and throwing it at your desired target…" He took aim and got Duo right in the mouth.
That certainly got a reaction out of Duo. In his mind that annoying little voice that pops out at the most unusual times took that moment to appear. /And you're going to let him get away with that? /
Duo's eyes took on an impish gleam and he smiled, "You are *so* gonna get it…"
Heero's eyes flashed, he grinned, and he took off towards the kids, not running at full speed because of the snow. Duo took of after him – at full speed, not really caring about slipping all over the snow, and tackled his snow throwing koi to the ground, pinning him there and tickling him mercilessly.
"Duo!" Heero started laughing. After a few minutes, Heero managed to dislodge his lover's hands from tickling him and entwined their hands together. Heero was panting slightly, trying to catch his breath, is face inches away from Duo's. They gazed into each other's eyes – neither one able to look away. Their faces slowl got closer together. However before they could reach their goal – screams of terror and cries for help collided with their ears.
Without a word, they both jumped up and ran towards the cries. They no longer carried their guns – so they would have to resort to hand-to-hand combat if necessary. They reached the children, who were circled around the fort trying to pull the 6 yr. old out of where he collapsed into the middle. The oldest spotted them and pointed to where the tunnel was supposed to be, "Becky! She's trapped!" One of the littler boys was trying to dig her out. Heero went to the little boy on the top, still stuck in the collapsed fort and pulled him out after a few tugs.
"Are you OK?" The boy was crying, scared out of his mind, and shaking badly. Heero pulled the snow soaked jacket off him and gave the boy his own, pulling him into a hug to try to get him warmed up.
Duo went to where the other boy was attempting to dig up Becky, picked him up, and moved him out of the way. He dug twice as fast and pulled more snow out. Her legs became visible and he grabbed them, pulling her out. She was on her stomach so he turned her over and noticed she wasn't breathing. He checked for a pulse and felt none. He started CPR.
Heero moved to his other side, still carrying the boy, and looked at the girl. She reminded him so much of that other little girl… He hugged the little boy tighter. The oldest of the children had moved the other children over to the swings so they were out of the way of the adults. After 30 seconds of CPR, the little girl was still not breathing.
"Come on… Don't you dare die…"
Neither pilot noticed the tall man that was standing behind the other children.
"Please… not her too… Please."
Duo would not give up. All rational thought told him the girl was not coming back. However the look on Heero's face made him keep trying. The guilt, agony, pain, and fear were evident in his eyes, and his silent pleas were stinging his ears. They were so much like the pleas he had said when Heero's accident happened. It strengthened his resolve for everything. Keeping this girl alive and gaining back all the ground he had lost with Heero. He was NOT going to give up.
Neither pilot noticed when the man smiled giving a small nod, and a push to another young spirit.
The girl suddenly gasped for breath on her own and started coughing. Duo stopped giving her CPR and sat her up. She was still extremely pale and shivering uncontrollably. She turned to Heero when she finally caught her breath, "They're waiting for you. They said it was almost time."
Heero was dumbfounded, "Who is waiting?"
He looked at Duo, but Duo was not looking at him, he paled considerably and was looking at the little girl. "The angels. They said they were waiting for you to come back."
Heero was shocked. /Angels…? What? Who? /
Duo was looking around the playground, looking for someone, or something. His eyes fell on a familiar figure. Odin was standing there, a small smile on his lips. What the smile was for, Duo did not know. He let Odin see his determination through his eyes. Odin smiled a little wider, and disappeared.
Duo did as Heero, giving the girl his jacket and pulling her to his chest. Duo looked at Heero over the top of the girls head, relief and a bit of fear for his koi, showing in his eyes. There was something else in his eyes, but Duo decided to wait until there were alone to ask about it.
Still holding the two children, they lead the other kids to the estate, so they could get them some medical attention if needed.
After spending about two hours with Trowa, Quatre, and the small band of children – making sure they were all ok, Duo and Heero said their good byes and promises of being back for dinner.
-----
Once they were a couple streets away from the children Duo noticed some of the color returning to Heero's features. Despite the cold weather, Heero had become uncharacteristically pale when he heard the words of that little girl.
Duo squeezed his hand reassuringly, "Are you ok Hee-chan?" He knew the playful mood Heero was in earlier was not going to be coming back anytime soon.
"I… she, the little girl… Angels? She wasn't serious right? I mean, she… she was just delusional right? There's not really such a thing as Angels is there?" There was a desperate pull in Heero's voice, which Duo wasn't sure how to respond to. A part of him wanted to reassure Heero that everything was ok and that there was no way he was going to let anything happen to him. Yet another part wanted to tell Heero everything and then reassure him that there was no way he was going to let anything happen to him. Duo looked Heero straight in the eye, he couldn't lie, and he couldn't tell Heero everything either.
"Hee-chan there's always the possibility that angels do exist. I mean just because something can't be seen doesn't mean it's not there. Hey, what's wrong? Why is this bothering you?" Duo moved a little closer and rubbed Heero's arms.
That wasn't the answer Heero was looking for. "/they can't be real. It can't be true. She must have been wrong. I can't go to… to Hea-… I can't go there. I don't deserve it. /" Heero didn't' realize that he was voicing his thought until Duo pulled him into a crushing embrace, "You're wrong Heero, you do deserve to go to heaven, whether you believe it or not. You are the kindest hearted, loving, caring person I have ever met. You made mistakes, everyone does, but you are always beating yourself up over them, and it eats you up inside, I know it does. But that doesn't make you undeserving, it makes you Human. I know you didn't have a chance at a childhood, and you were hurt but that doesn't make you undeserving either."
He tilted Heero's head so he could look him in the eye, "Hee-chan you deserve to be happy, and I am going to give you as much opportunities as I can to make you happy, and make you see how deserving you are. I love you Hee-chan, and I hate to see you sad, or when you have nightmare. There has to be a heaven, cause I know for a fact that is where you are going to end up. Cause I know you. However there is no way I am going to let you get away from me anytime soon to find this all out for yourself."
As Heero listened to what Duo was telling him, he was in a state of disbelief, there was no way what Duo was saying could be true, but that small annoying little voice made a valid point before disappearing to his subconscious state again. /Duo never lies. It goes against his beliefs/.
When Duo tilted his head to see his face, Heero was again afraid of what he would see in Duo's expression. But the look that Heero was expecting was not the one that was situated on his koi's face. Duo had the same look as when they were talking in the park. His expression was gentle, caring, and full of sincerity. It did a lot to ease the doubts that were swirling through Heero's head. There was a strange feeling behind Heero's eyes that felt a lot like tears. However Heero would not give in to them in public. Maybe - *maybe* if they were somewhere, alone, and not on a street – even if it was empty, Heero would give in. But at this moment he settled for letting Duo pull him into a hug, and snuggling close to him, and feeling safe within his arms. A feeling he hadn't felt in a long time and was afraid he had lost forever.
When they pulled apart – an eternity later, Duo once again held Heero's hand. "Are you ok to visit Wufei? Or do you just want to go back to the Inn?"
Heero thought he was hearing things, "You would still come visit Wufei?"
"Why not? I said I would right? We still have a few hours before we have to be at Quat and Tro's for dinner." That earned a small smile and an arigato from Heero.
Duo just grinned back and squeezed his hand. They set off in the direction of the institution that Wufei was residing. Duo hoped that he wouldn't do something stupid to mess up the progress he made with Heero. This was going to be an important test and he knew that if he failed there would be very little hope to showing Heero his true feelings.
The institute in question was a place for ex soldiers to go if they needed help cooping with the effects of war in peace time. Even though Wufei realized the error of his ways in siding with Marimaia, he still had a long way to go until he was ready to head back into the world to help keep the peace.
In the hospital where Heero had been making his recovery, the other pilots had visited their resting comrade. Duo did not take to well to Wufei's presence around Heero – especially when his koi wasn't completely capable of taking care of himself. All that should be said about that incident was: it took 2 orderlies, Trowa, and Quatre to restrain Duo from physically harming Wufei. It was only after Heero woke to the scene and gently called Duo to him did he stop his physical attack. The verbal attack came next which Heero had to literally twist Duo's arm to make him quiet down.
Everyone present in the room knew that the trust Duo had in Wufei had shattered – along with Wufei's ability to forgive himself. Wufei checked into the Institute the next day, trying to regain some of what he had lost from his encounter with the braided pilot. Trowa and Quatre moved close by to where Wufei was, to show their support to their misguided comrade.
Duo had wanted to move as far away from Wufei as possible – least he have some kind of relapse and try to hurt his koibito, but Heero wasn't sure he could bear being that far from his closest friends. So they ended up moving to an apartment a couple hours away by car, in the city.
Duo had not said two words to Wufei since the incident in the hospital. The bridge of trust had been shattered and it would take a miracle for it to be fixed…
As the couple neared the building, Heero glanced at Duo to see if he could figure out what was going on in his head. When no answers were coming, he sighed, "Are you sure you're alright with this?" Heero stopped walking which stopped Duo as well, and looked him in the eye.
Duo took a moment to collect his thoughts which had been running in all directions colliding into each other the entire walk there. /Am I really going to be ok in there? Hee-chan isn't hurt (the obvious "yet" was left off), and I don't think the spirits would posses Wufei or something just to get to Heero – would they? No… they are trying to give me a second chance. Hopefully I'll be able to control my temper… oi. /
"I can't make any promises Hee-chan about this, but I will try to not do something stupid." He was trying to show the sincerity of this words through his eyes as well.
Heero did see the message, /he is being honest…/ He squeezed Duo's hand and gave him a small smile. That alone made Duo forget about why he was mad at Wufei to begin with – Almost.
As they walked through the building, Duo was expecting some kind of hospital set up. However, it was the complete opposite. The entire building was designed like a giant house – not quite mansion. There was a very homey feel to it that the couple noticed right from the entrance.
Wufei was sitting in the basement rec. room, playing a game of chess by himself when Duo and Heero walked down the steps. He didn't notice this fellow pilots until Heero called his name a little quietly. At first he thought he was hearing things, but he looked up anyway. He saw Heero and Duo not to far away, keeping out of his personal space.
Wufei stood, bowing slightly to the pilots, "Yui, Maxwell. What brings you here?"
"We came to see how you were doing, and wish you a merry Christmas." Heero spoke up talking calmly. More for Duo's benefit than anything else, "It's good to see you're in good health."
There was an awkward silence developing between Duo and Wufei. Duo was more concerned with not messing up over anything else. The best way for him to do that was to keep quiet. However, it seemed fate was against him yet again.
"Come, have a seat," Wufei pulled over some more chairs for Duo and Heero, giving Duo more time to collect himself. "What brings you all the way out here? Don't you usually spend Christmas together at your apartment?"
"Well, I wanted to give Hee-chan a chance to spend Christmas with you guys, it's been a while since we've been on a vacation with the yard and all…"
"You always were spontaneous during the wars." Duo tensed slightly at the mention of the wars, and moved a little closer to Heero protectively. If Wufei or Heero noticed, they didn't say anything.
"Wufei? How are you doing?" Heero decided to talk to Wufei, giving Duo a chance to calm down.
"I am doing better. Thank you for keeping in touch with those emails and such. It has helped a lot."
Duo muttered something under his breathe, which earned him a glare from Heero and a slight wince from Wufei.
"Maxwell, how is your yard doing?" Duo tensed at the mention of the yard. It brought up a few memories he really didn't want to remember. There was a hand on his arm and Duo realized that he had been lost fighting back memories.
"It's doing well." He said tersely. "Why do you ask Wufei? Didn't think I could make the yard work, did you? Me being that baka pilot and all, I could never do much right to you could I?" Duo caught his tongue, realizing that his attempt to hold the memories at bay didn't work as well as he hoped, and he took out the anger at that on Wufei. He also realized that if he kept this up he was going to regret it later. He only had a little bit of time left with Heero, and the argument they were already going to have over this was going to be bad enough – there was no need for him to continue throwing wood into that particular fire.
Duo took a minute to collect himself, and turned to Heero, "I need to go, you can stay if you want, but I am gonna head for a walk, then meet you at Quat and Tro's for the party." With that he walked – not run – up the stairs and out of the building, not looking back.
Heero turned to Wufei, "I'm sorry. I have to talk to him." Wufei nodded to him, not making a verbal response.
Heero ran up the stairs after Duo. When he got outside he found Duo walking across the street. Calling out to him was not something Heero wanted to do – old habits die hard. As he caught up with Duo, he didn't bother being quiet, there was no need for him to.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened in there?" Heero's voice wasn't condemning, angry, happy, or even pushing for an answer. It was said in his normal quiet monotone. He knew Duo needed a chance to gather his thoughts so he just let him walk.
/I can't believe I exploded like that. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but that's not the point, I should've had more control than that. I am such a baka! Hee-chan is going to be mad at me; I can't believe I screwed up again! Kuso! How am I going to explain this to him? I don't know what to say… but I have to tell him someth- No! I have to tell him the truth. He deserves that much before he makes good on that Omae wo Koruso threat of his. /
With that thought Duo stopped walking and turned to Heero. /Here goes nothing…/
"Heero, I am sorry about blowing up at Wufei like that. I really did try, but I couldn't do it. Honest, I did try to keep a better hold over my anger towards him under control, but at the mention of the yard, I just lost control. I know you're mad at me, and I'm really sorry. I can't seem to do anything right, maybe Wufei was right, maybe I am just a baka." He turned his head away, all his anger draining away to leave guilt at hurting Heero and probably making the last mistake towards him – using up his last chance with his koibito.
"Duo, could you tell me exactly why you and Wufei have such a bad relationship?" The couple had never really talked about this, but Heero assumed it just had to do with the Eve Wars and his fight with Wufei. He didn't realize that the hurt/anger ran deeper than that.
"Did you ever notice that Wufei and I weren't partnered together on any missions? I guess the scientists realized our personalities clashed to much – that we would blotch it up. Well, they were sorta right. Remember that time when the five of us met for the first time at the base?" Duo didn't want to bring up any unpleasant memories for Heero, but he wanted to start at the beginning. And he realized said memories were resurfacing as Heero tensed greatly.
"I'm sorry Hee-chan I didn't mean to bring up unpleasant memories for you. Are you ok?"
Heero nodded slightly, "I'll be ok, go ahead and finish."
Duo hesitated slightly before continuing, "Wufei did a background search on us pilots, like we all did, to get an idea of our training and such. When he did mine, he didn't find much, seeing as how I was a street rat and didn't meet G until later. Wufei is a smart guy, he put 2 and 5 together to get 3, and realized that I was from L2, and was probably a street rat. His attitude towards me changed then, he made some assumptions and acted like he was better than me, seeing as how he was a top notch martial artist/ heir to the Dragon clan, AND a scholar to boot. I'll just say he was arrogant, and snobby. He always found a way to put me down some how when he thought something was my fault.
"I didn't do anything to change his mind; it stopped bothering me that people acted that way when I was still on L2. But then I had you with me, and nothing he said could phase me, I was on cloud nine. When the Eve Wars came thought, and you fought him, and crashed into the Earth twice, I thought I had lost you. And at that point I could no longer continue being the noisy braided baka he thought I was. When he came to the hospital you know it took a lot of people to restrain me from killing him. He never respected me as a person, or a pilot, and he almost killed you, there is little chance I'll ever be able to forgive him. Given some more time… maybe."
Heero was astounded. He hadn't realized the extent of what had happened between Duo and Wufei, or that the two of them had never been on a mission together.
"Duo, I'm sorry for forcing you to go visit Wufei. But you should know the attitude towards you he had during the war is not the same anymore. That was one of the first things I made him change before I would forgive him. I'm sorry Duo; I didn't know it was that bad between you two. Forgive me for dragging you along?"
"What? Hee-chan, I should be asking you for forgiveness again! I was the one that blew up at Wufei and stormed out, it wasn't your fault! You didn't know."
"I'm not mad at you Duo; believe me when I say I know how hard it is to control your anger sometimes."
Duo couldn't take it anymore; he pulled Heero into a huge hug, talking into his shoulder, "Arigato Hee-chan I'm so sorry. I promise I'll try to make peace with 'Fei."
"Thank you for telling me what was bothering you." Heero hesitantly hugged Duo back.
Duo realized that he was also not talking to Heero about things anymore – mainly because he was never really there, and when he was he didn't want to bother Heero with his problems.
/That'll change right after Christmas also. / He didn't even bother with the "if" of finding that Ultimate Gift or not – he *would* find it.
When Duo realized that they were still standing in on a *public* sidewalk, he reluctantly pulled away – he knew how much Heero didn't like big PDA. He gently took Heero's hand in his own, "We still have some time before that party at the estate. Do ya think they could use a hand setting up?"
"Sure," it would be a good distraction for both of them.
-----
As the couple got closer to the manor, and the voices of happy children reached their ears the mood between them began to lose its negativity, and started to resemble that of Christmas cheer.
By the time they were at the front door, Duo was able to put on his grin and give all the kids that ran to greet them bug hugs.
"Mr. Duo!! Mr. Duo! Come help with the tree! There are so many pretty ornaments that have to go on!"
"You guys are early. Come in. Come in." Quatre came out to see what all the excitement was about. He shook both their hands and led them into the house, the children running about the tri in circles. They walked to the back yard – where one of the largest trees on the estate was being decorated by Trowa and all the kids. Trowa was lifting up one of the younger girls so she could put an angel up near the top to look over everyone.
"Hey Quat," Duo pulled Quatre back a little so he could talk to him for a minute. Heero was busy with the kids so it was a perfect time for Duo to apologize to Quatre, "I want to apologize for how I acted in the car, as well as all those times I wasn't able to make it to come visit you guys with Heero. There is no excuse for forgetting how important you guys are to me and for acting so rudely yesterday. I am sorry for my behavior and I want to make it up to you somehow."
Quatre felt as well as heard the sincerity behind Duo's words. Duo really was sorry for his behavior and Quatre was glad, although slightly confused as to what had brought on the sudden change in his friend. "There was no harm done. I am glad to have you back Duo." Now wasn't the time to ask about the sudden change, it would damper the cheery mood and Quatre didn't want that.
/Besides/ Quatre mused, /…there will be plenty of time for that after Christmas…/
-----
Heero noticed Duo pull Quatre aside, /probably going to apologize for his behavior yesterday/. Heero sighed. Duo had been doing a lot of apologizing lately. The only question that remained for Heero was /what changed? Why did Duo's attitude suddenly make a 360 and change so much over night no less? / He sighed again. Wufei was right about one thing, Duo was always spontaneous during the wars.
This was no different.
He was pulled away from his thoughts as the kids started tugging him to the tree to help with the decorating. He put on a small smile for the children and followed them over to the tree. He smiles at Trowa and followed his example of lifting the younger kids up into the air so they could reach the higher parts of the tree. Quatre and Duo came back over and helped with the decorations also. Everyone was smiling happily as the decorated the tree.
/This is what Christmas should be about. Spending time with your loved ones and friends…/ with those thoughts Heero was able, for the time being, to put Duo's strange behavior aside, and almost completely block out what happened with 'fei. This was not the time for sad thoughts, or unhappy memories.
Those could be set aside for after Christmas…
Heero's smile brightened slightly with those thoughts and he tickled one of the children next to him.
Over to a corner of the yard, unbeknownst to anyone living, sat Sister Helen and Odin. "I think he finally figured out that he should be spending time with Heero not worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow night," said Sister Helen.
"Well it's about time." They sat together watching the couples and children while they shared this happy moment.
Despite Quatre's lavish upbringing, dinner was not all that formal; in fact it was the exact opposite. There was of course lots of food – with all the kids and Duo there, that was a given. Everyone sat together at the large table, taking whatever they pleased from the large spread.
Diner was by no means a quiet affair either. Everyone was talking to each other about all the exciting things that they did all day and fantasy presents that they would like for Christmas. As dinner came to a close Quatre stood up. "Well it's almost time to get those ornaments on the tree, right kids?"
He smiled as a loud chorus or "yeas!" and cheers rang up from all the kids. "Ok kids! Trowa, can you and Duo take the kids to get their ornaments? Heero and I will get there plates and such put away ok?" Everyone nodded their heads and got up from the table, the children eager to get the last of the ornaments on the tree, so everything would be ready for Santa. The rest of the estate was decorated as well, done by the children, Quatre and Trowa, and the servants there, who were all given off for the holiday, but chose to stay and help decorate.
Duo raced some of the younger children out of the room, while Trowa followed at a more subdued pace with the rest of them. The two older men stayed towards the house as the children gathered their ornaments and went to find the best place to put them on the tree. While they watched the kids, Duo thought this would be a good opportunity to apologize to Trowa as well.
"Hey Tro, I want to apologize for my behavior in the car yesterday and how I've been acting towards you and Quat for a while. You guys are my closets friends and I haven't been acting much like a good friend (/or lover for that matter/) back to any of you. Trowa looked Duo in the eye for a moment, judging the sincerity of his words. "It's not a problem Duo. How are things going between you and Heero?" He didn't miss the obvious tension between the couple yesterday either.
Duo's posture suddenly saddened, "I… I made a big mistake towards Hee-chan and I've been trying to make things right."
/Maybe that would explain the distance between them in the car/ Trowa thought, /But they both looked happier when they arrived. Was it just another mask? /
Trowa didn't push for details as to what Duo had done. He had a general idea as it was, from past instances where they had tried getting together as a group and Duo would suddenly cancel at the last minute, leaving Heero alone, and having to explain his lover's absence. Besides, that was there own private matter and it wasn't Trowa's place to pry. If Duo asked for advice or anything like that, he would gladly give him some. Or if Duo needed someone to talk to, he could always talk to him, "You know you can talk to me if you need to Duo."
/No, I can't. Not about this at least/ "Yeah, thanks Tro. That means a lot. You know you've changed some since the wars. More so around Quatre than anyone else, even us. But the change is still evident if you know where to look."
Trowa only nodded at his friend's sudden change of subject. And he wasn't completely sure where Duo was going with the conversation. He decided to give his friend the benefit of the doubt, "Thanks."
"In fact we've all changed – and not all of us for the better." They bother knew Duo meant himself. "You know you and Quatre have something really special. Don't ever take it for granted cause if you do, it'll be harder if you lose it, or it gets taken away from you. It's the worst feeling in the world to lose someone that important to you and not even realize that importance until after they are gone." Duo stopped talking and looked over at the kids. Trowa was stunned – not sure what to think about what Duo was telling him.
Then Duo turned back to his friend and looked him in the eye, "Life is precious Trowa. Treat the one's you love like precious gifts that need the utmost care and love. Always try to treat your time with them the same care – never take it for granted, don't put things off, otherwise you may never get the chance to do it again –" Duo stopped talking and looked to be blinking back tears.
Trowa was stunned, shocked and quite frankly didn't know what to say. After a minute Trowa finally spoke up, "Duo maybe you were wrong about something – we're all changing still – and it's all in a good way." He gave Duo a small smile and there was a soft look in his eyes. Duo returned the smile momentarily before they both turned back to the kids.
There were a few minutes of silence before Duo spoke up again. "Hey Tro, do you think you can handle the kids for a bit? I'm gonna go see how Quat and Hee-chan are doing with those dishes." Trowa nodded and Duo went back towards the kitchen to see how things were going with his koibito and friend.
As he got closer to the door he heard muffled voices and the faint sounds of what might have been crying. He knew he shouldn't snoop, but Duo couldn't help it. He stealthily made his way towards the door, hoping Heero and Quatre wouldn't notice his presence to soon.
He stopped when he was just within hearing range, "…changed Quat, I don't understand him anymore. It's like he's hiding something from me…" There were some muffled words as they moved around the kitchen then, "…I don't know what to do…"
Duo stopped listening at that point, sneaking out of the hall and reentering making noise like he normally would, to give Heero a chance to compose himself, a wide, fake, grin plastered on his face. Had he stayed and listened more he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep even a fake grin on his face. /I still have lots of work to do as far as Hee-chan is concerned. Some of the issues between us were resolved today, but that wasn't the last of them, not by a long shot. /
Duo needed more time… which was something that he didn't have at all…
----- (Heero and Quatre) -----
"…Heero and I will get these plates and such put away." Everyone nodded as Quatre gave out the final directions before the tree lighting.
Heero wasn't completely paying attention to everything everyone was saying by the end of the meal. He knew Quatre wanted to talk to him about a lot of things – most of which concerned his braided boyfriend and was just trying to figure out the best way to go about telling him about it. He wasn't sure how much his empathic friend had already picked up on, so maybe he could wait for Quatre to get the ball rolling so to speak, and he could just pick up where the empathy left off.
/That's what I'll do/ Heero nodded to himself to reaffirm his resolve. Duo's action's since the end of the war – when he started changing – left Heero finding it a little difficult to open up to people, especially those already close to him. He did stay in close contact with the other pilots, but most of the time he still let them start the conversations.
Today was no different.
As the kids filed out to the tree followed closely by Duo and Trowa, Quatre and Heero started bringing the food and plates into the kitchen to be preserved for the orphans to take home. Little was said as the ex-pilots brought the food into the kitchen which gave Heero more time to think. Heero was glad that the blonde had given him more time to gather his thoughts. He knew he couldn't hold off on this forever, and when they were both in the kitchen with all the food and plates brought in, Heero knew his time was up.
He just hoped he would be able to keep his emotions under control.
"I think it's safe to say everyone loved the food, there's hardly anything left." Quatre knew his friend was tense so he decided to try relaxing him a bit before getting into questioning him.
There was a soft snort from Heero and he started to involuntarily relax. /It's just Quatre. I can talk to him… I hope. /
Quatre forged on, taking his comrades reaction as a good sign. "It figures though, with Duo and a room full of hyper children, we should have seen this coming." Heero tensed slightly back up at the mention of his lover's name, which Quatre did notice but continued anyway. /He needs to talk about this before it's too late. /
"I'm glad you two decided to come to the party and stay for vacation, we were all starting to miss you. Have you been enjoying your vacation?" Heero became extremely tense at the question, going into what Duo used to call 'mission mode.' His grip on the cup he was holding was almost to the point of breaking it and he had to force himself to let go. Heero gave a small nod to answer his question.
"That's good. After the rocky start in the car yesterday, which Duo did apologize for, I'm glad things are looking up." The way Heero was moving about the kitchen and loading dishes in the washer told a different story. Quatre decided to try a slightly different tactic.
"What made you guys change your minds about coming down to visit? Was Duo finally able to snag some time away from Hilde and the yard?"
That did it. Heero dropped the plate into the sink a little too hard so it shattered the gripped the edge leaning forward against it like he would fall over. "Does he love me?"
It was so faintly said Quatre wasn't sure he heard correctly, "Heero?"
"Does he still love me?" Heero turned towards Quatre as he said it letting him see the fear and hurt on his face that he knew the empathy was sensing from his heart. His blue eyes begged for reassurance.
"Oh, Heero, why would you ask something like that?" He moved closer to his friend.
"Ever since the wars ended he's been so different, always away on business trips with Hilde, or at the office working late. He seems so different from the wars, like now that we're not in constant mortal danger and running from an army, or trying to bring world peace, he's drifting away from those he 'says' he cares about the most."
"Heero… you can't think that is true right?" Quatre knew something was wrong but he didn't realize it was that bad.
"I honestly can't be sure. He's changed Quat. I don't understand him anymore. It's like he is hiding something from me. This whole trip was his idea. Well it was his idea that the two of us would go someplace that I wanted to go. It was completely out of the blue. Then the phone rang. It was Hilde, but instead of canceling the trip until after Christmas – he started to get frantic and hung up on her." They were both silent for a minute before Heero sighed and kept going. "I just… I don't know what to do anymore."
Quatre pulled his friend into a big hug, both of them knowing he needed the contact.
However, before he was able to say anything to help his distraught friend they both heard someone coming down the hall towards the kitchen. With one final squeeze and a whispered, 'it'll be alright,' Quatre let Heero go and turned back to the food giving his friend a moment of privacy to compose himself before the person in the hall got there.
Heero was grateful for that small bit of privacy and was able to pull himself together before Duo made it to the kitchen.
"Hey are you guys ready? Those kids are starting to make me seem calm!"
Quatre chuckled slightly, "And you left Trowa out there by himself? Well all the food is put away, and the dishes can be finished up later. So let's go!"
The three ex-pilots went out back to the tree lighting and party. When they got there Quatre went over to talk with Trowa while Duo went to get his and Heero's ornaments. Heero just looked around the yard and to all the kids who were standing around the tree waiting with varying degrees of patience for the tree to be lit.
"Here you go Hee-chan." Duo handed him his ornament as the both made their way over to the tree. "Remember what you told me during the war? Every ornament is special and it has its own special spot on the tree?"
Heero blinked, "You were actually listening to me when I said that?"
"Of course I was Hee-chan. You don't talk a lot, but when you do I always listen. Here, you go first."
Heero gave his braided partner a semi questioning look before briefly closing his eyes and slowly moving his arm to a branch on the tree. When he found the right spot he placed the ornament there and opened his eyes to find Duo smiling gently at him. "Excellent choice Hee-chan."
Duo closed his eyes and placed his ornament next to Heero's. Heero had a strange look in his eyes but it disappeared seconds after Duo looked back at him.
"What?"
Heero just shook his head and turned back towards Quatre and Trowa. Trowa nodded slightly to him as they had one of those silent conversations and nudged Quatre towards the little gazebo to get the party started.
"Ok everyone! It's that time of the year." He wanted a few seconds for the children to calm down before continuing. "And now… the moment we've all been waiting for…" He nodded to the head of the orphanage that was standing close by ready to make the final connection that would light everything up. She nodded back and connected the two wires.
Nothing happened.
She tired again and still nothing.
All the kids moaned in disappointment. However, Quatre, who was always the peacekeeper, spoke up before the kids could rebel. "Now, now there is probably only a faulty wire, so Miss Gretta will look at them, and the rest of us can do a sing-a-long! Right Trowa?"
Trowa was already getting out his flute and Quatre's violin and just nodded. He handed his lover the violin and received a kiss on the cheek in return, which was promptly followed by "oooh's" from all the kids and one whistle from a certain braided pilot.
Ignoring the children Quatre asked if there were any requests. Duo had a sudden idea and jumped up to the gazebo. He whispered something to Quatre, which earned him a strange look from both musicians. Duo just raised an eyebrow. He picked up the microphone – tapping it once to see if it worked and got a loud screech of feed back.
Duo looked over at Heero and smiled at the perplexed look on his koibito's face. He then turned to Quatre and received a nod. He nodded back and waited for the music to start. When his cue came, he started to sing:
[I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where tree tops glisten and children listen
To hear the sleigh bells in the snow]
He gave Heero another small smile and descended the stairs of the gazebo towards his koi.
[I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
With every time I see your eyes
May you dreams be merry and bright
And may you Christmas be white…]
When the verse was over Duo handed the microphone to the oldest orphan closest to him and he looked into Heero's eyes, "dance with me Hee-chan?"
"I thought you said you couldn't sing?" His words were playful not accusing. Heero took the invitation and the two of them danced slowly together to the sounds of Trowa and Quatre's beautiful music. The kids finished singing the song.
-------
Sister Helen sat off to the side making sure to stay out of Duo's line of vision, smiling at memories of the Christmas she was able to spend with him. As she wiped a tear from her eye at the memories, the plug was put in again to light the tree. The only difference was this time it did.
There was a collective "oooh" from everyone. Duo looked over Heero's head to see Sister Helen smiling at him. He smiled back and hugged Heero closer to him.
Together the couple turned to look at the tree and listen to the sweet melodies of a flute and violin duet. Everyone forgot their problems and their hearts were warmed from the music, lights and each other.
Everything was just perfect.
~+~+~+~+~+~ Owari part 4 ~+~+~+~+~+~
Kinda makes you sad Heero is gonna die tomorrow doesn't it?
C&C anyone?
Little Angel