Chapter 55

Roger flung open the loft door and walked through followed by Cass and Mark. He flung down his keys on the counter and spun around to face Cass. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Investing my money."

"You could have done that anywhere."

"I wanted to do it here."

"Why?"

"Because it's a good investment."

"Bull shit! Because it's Benny's!"

"Roger!" Mark finally jumped in.

He couldn't help himself he knew she didn't even know Benny. He knew Cass had nothing to do with Benny. He knew she loved him, but he couldn't help but get jealous and angry over the whole thing.

Cass felt like he slapped her with those words. She just looked at him for a second, her lip trembling. Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore she bolted from the room, slamming the bedroom door and throwing herself on their bed.

Roger just stood there, staring at his new boots she had just bought him, hating himself.

Mark stared at the bedroom door even after it slammed. He finally looked at Roger. "You're a fucking ass Roger! You know that?"

"Yeah I know." He told him, barely audible, still looking at his boots. Why are you such an ass Davis? You know she doesn't want anything to do with him. Why the hell are you always so damn jealous? Why can't you control it?

Slowly he walked to the bedroom and opened the door. He heard her crying softly in the dark into a pillow. Since she'd gotten there, he'd heard her cry a number of times. Each time it broke his heart, but none as badly as this time. This time, he had caused it. "Cass? Baby, can I come in?" He sat on the edge of the bed in the dark.

"It's your room, you can do what you want."

He clenched his jaw. That really hurt. He laid back on the bed next to her. "No, it's our room." He paused. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that before. About Benny."

Still facing away from him she spoke. "No you shouldn't have. Roger do you trust me or not?"

"Baby I love you."

"Love and trust are two different things Roger."

"I love you and I trust you. Really. I just, I get so upset at the thought of you and him having anything to do with each other."

"His only involvement in this is a signature. It's really Allison's building. Remember?" She sobbed.

"Yeah, I know. I just…" he put his hand on her arm, gently turning her to face him. "But why here?"

"Why not?" She wiped the tears off her face. "Roger I'm tired of living in hotels and little places on location. I haven't been 'home' in forever, and I'm never going back anyway. Besides, all it was was a bunch of rooms that had a bunch of people living in it who would buy and sell you for their own purposes. Don't you know how different this place is?"

"Baby, this place is a dump."

"It's a good investment."

"There's no heat."

"We can put heat in."

"There's hardly any hot water."

"We'll get a bigger hot water tank."

He looked at her for a second before he spoke. "We aren't getting anything. You are. You're paying for it all. Again. Remember?" He was getting defensive again.

Cass thought for a moment. "Roger," she sat up, "what's your real problem. That it's my money? Or that it's Benny's building?"

"Well," he looked down at her. "Both I guess. I mean you're always buying me stuff. I hate that. I'll never be able to get you anything."

She moved closer to him and put her hand on his. "Roger I don't want anything. Can't you understand that? I don't want you to buy me stuff. I don't need you to buy me stuff. I just need you to be here with me. That's one of the reasons why I was getting this place."

"What do you mean?" He laid back on the bed, looking at the ceiling.

"What I mean is, I don't know." She laid back next to him and sighed. "I mean it never really mattered to me before, but now, with the baby, having a place to go home to is a lot more appealing. Especially if you are there. And Mark."

"But Baby…"

"No. Just listen. I never really thought about I until you got all upset, worrying about where we were going to live and heat and the baby. That's when I knew we had to buy this place."

"Because I'd never be able to afford anything better than this place!"


"No! Roger who cares where the money comes from! That was one of the reasons why I was making you and Mark partners. So it wouldn't matter about the money."

He heard her start to cry again. "Please don't cry Baby. I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting like this. Especially with you. You're the first girl I've ever been involved with that I don't constantly fight with and drive to tears. Plus I gotta leave for the Iguana soon. And the last thing I want is you mad at me while I'm gone. Tonight or for the two weeks."

"I'm not mad." She stared at the ceiling. "I'm just… I don't know, I'm exhausted. It's funny, I mean I figured you'd get a little excited when I told you all this, and you weren't supposed to find out like this by the way. I actually thought you'd get a kick out of it all in the end. When Benny found out and all."

Roger rolled onto his side to look at her, running his fingers up and down her arm. "What do you mean when Benny finds out?"

"Well he doesn't know. That's probably why he sent out those stupid letters. To try and stick it to you. I mean he's got no idea CDS is us."

"Wait, how can he not know? And what's CDS?"

"He doesn't know, because Allison decided he shouldn't. She's tired of his crap and what he tends to pull, especially with you guys. And she was more than happy to talk about selling this place. I did some research on the zoning laws for here. Allison knew some too. You were right about renovating and owner occupation. Allison said so too. She also said how there was no way in hell she'd ever live here."

"But how can Benny not know?"

"Because Allison has controlling interest in this place. All he knows is some company called CDS wants to buy the building. I mean I thought you'd love walking into the closing and him looking up and seeing you guys there. Benny sitting there thinking you guys are about to become homeless, when actually you're in on a great business deal." She laughed.

"But what's CDS?" Roger wasn't angry anymore, now just confused.

"Us. Cohen, Davis and Sullivan. I did it alphabetically. It's just a company name you know? For investment reasons."

"So that's what we needed the $200 for?"

"Uh huh. As a down payment on your thousand dollar investment into the company. Legally it offers you guys more protection that way."

"I'm sorry Baby. I never should have got upset at you. It was never you I was mad at I guess."

"So are you okay with all of this?"


"Yes. Well no, not completely. But give me some time. I'll get used to it I guess."

"You know I only did it for all of us. For a little security. And in the end it's a damn good investment."

Roger started to laugh a little as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Baby I love you, you know that right? And I may not know anything about big business, but buying this place isn't anything more than a good way to get back at Benny."

"It's a good investment Roger."

"It's a dump." He laughed.

"Not when it's renovated. And everything is brought up to code. The whole building."

"If it's so great then why didn't Benny just due it himself?"

"Well, there's the whole living here issue. Plus, it's going to cost a good chunk of money to bring the building up to code. Money Allison didn't want to give him."

"So you want to go through all that, fix the building, put heat in up here, all of it and then live here. The three of us and a baby. You realize if you shop for a baby like you do for you me and Mark, we're going to run out of room." He laughed at her, watching her grin.

"There will be plenty of room."

"Uh huh. We don't even have a closet in here. You gonna put the baby in that hot little room." He jerked his thumb toward Mark's old office. "At least then it'll have a closet." He grinned at her.

"No silly. I sort of have it all figured out. The baby's going to go in here."

"In here?" He sat up on the bed. "Cass you and me barely fit in here, let alone with a baby."

"No Roger, we'll make this the baby's room."

"Great, then where are we sleeping? In the hot little room with the closet, but only one window? That will be fun."

She sighed as she shook her head. If he would let her finish he might understand. "No. The baby can go in here. And we'll take the wall down between this room and the other little one. That way it will have a total of three windows."

"And were are we sleeping?"

"In Mark's room."

Just then the bedroom door came opened the rest of the way as Mark, flipping around from where he was sitting outside on the floor, sort of fell into the bedroom. "My room?" He got all high and squeaky as he said it. "If you two are sleeping in my room, where am I supposed to sleep?" Mark crawled over and sat on the floor by the bed looking up at them, starting to laugh at him.

"What are you doing? Sitting outside on the floor listening?" Roger asked him, starting to laugh.

"Um," Mark looked down and realized how strange and sudden his entrance must have looked. "Okay yes. But where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Why?" Roger asked him, confused.

"Because knowing where I'm sleeping is one of those little facts I enjoy knowing."

"No dork! Why were you sitting out there listening?' Roger wasn't sure at this point if he should be amused,confused or pissed.

"Well," Mark felt his face getting red and was grateful for the light being off in the room. He looked down at the floor, and even in the darkness he could feel Roger staring at him, waiting on an answer. "Well okay, any other time I can hear everything in here. And believe me, I could live without that. But the one time something is actually going on in here that does involve me, I got to sit outside to hear what's up."

At that Cass and Roger both broke into hysterics. "Don't laugh at me!" Mark yelled at them. He was getting pissed, as he still didn't have an answer. "Just tell me. If you're putting the baby in here, and taking out the wall. And you two are moving into my room, where are you sending me?"

"Honestly," Roger said through his laughter, "I don't know what she's doing with you."

"Both of you just relax." She shook her head at them. "The baby goes in here. We go where Mark's room is now. Mark, his office and his bathroom go in the corner, across the hall."

"Across the hall?" Roger asked suddenly not laughing.

"Oh, so I don't get to live here anymore. Great."

"Oh good lord. Shut up, both of you and listen. From the beginning. You two are secondary partners in our company CDS. You are going to take one thousand dollars each from the fifteen thousand you got from my uncle and give it to me to invest in that company. Then CDS is going to purchase this building as an investment because it has good resale value. But we have to renovate both the legal apartments and the fourth floor. This floor. When we do that, the entire fourth floor, both this side we are currently in, as well as the other side that is currently a vacant open area, will become one big open area loft apartment. Thereby doubling our space, tripling our bathrooms, creating heat and hot water. Not to mention, moving Mark to the opposite side of the place and putting insulation into the walls so he can't hear absolutely everything that goes on!" She brought her hand up to her face, covering her eyes and shaking her head.

*********

Cass rolled over in bed again. She realized she wasn't going to fall back asleep. No time soon at least. Not while she was still alone. She was glad the whole mess about the building was out in the open. They had all, including herself, made too big a deal about it. She should have just told them what she was thinking from the beginning. She should have just bought the stupid building a few years ago, when she had first thought about it. When Mark first told her about all the trouble they had been having with Benny.

Fool. Why hadn't you done that then? Think Cass. He told you, you thought about it. Actually did some research on it. But what happened? Why did you stop? It was winter. She remembered that. She had been in France then too. France. Winter. Hospital? That was it. She had ended up back at the hospital. For a concussion or something.

She pushed the thoughts out of her head. She didn't want to think about that stuff. Didn't want to remember. She was here now, with Roger. And Mark. She didn't have to worry about drugs, or Anton, or her uncle or any of it. Life was good now. Simple and good. They were all happy together. And she and Roger were going to have a baby.

Well, okay, not exactly she and Roger, but as far as the world was concerned it was going to be Roger's. As far as she was concerned it was Roger's.

God how could they have been fighting like that before? Cassiopeia what is wrong with you lately? Other than the obvious pregnant thing I guess. Oh you are an emotional, bitchy mess sometimes lately.

And Roger's birthday was only the day after tomorrow. It upset her somewhat that he told her not to get him anything for his birthday. True she had just gotten him a new jacket, boots, jeans, pants and some shirts, but she considered it more of a congratulations you'll need them on your trip gifts. Not birthday gifts. But if that's what he wanted, she would do it.

She realized again how much she really did love him and how special he really was. God this hormone thing is going to drive me crazy she thought. How can you be so happy about loving a person, so upset about fighting with them, so excited they're getting such a great opportunity and yet so depressively sad they are leaving all at the exact same time? Have I always been like this? She couldn't even answer herself at the moment.

She flipped over in the bed, trying to get comfortable. Her back hurt and rolling over just made her realize how she better appreciate being able to do that now, because she won't be able to soon enough probably.

The bed was lonely and cold without Roger in it she realized. It was amazing to her how much she had grown to depend on him in the mere two months she had been here. Cass was thrilled for him that he was getting the chance to go on tour with that band. The only thing she wanted more than him was for him to be happy.

He did seem happy about going, and he should be. But he also seemed hesitant. God she was going to miss him while he was gone. She started to feel guilty about being here, alone in the empty cold bed. Roger had been so excited earlier today. So had Mark. Even though she had said she wasn't crazy about Mark's camera being right there with them, she knew it was a lost cause. She realized Roger, Mark and his camera, were going to be a package deal.

It amazed her and thrilled her how Roger was so excited about a baby that, biologically, wasn't even his. But none of that mattered to him. And his enthusiasm was only fueled more by how excited Mark was getting too.

Laying there thinking about it Cass had to laugh at the look on the nurses face when they took her into the back, followed by Roger, Mark and his camera, filming all the way. Mark seemed to have started a whole new documentary on having babies it seemed sometimes. And Roger, she smiled to herself. When that girl put the Doppler microphone up to her belly and they heard the thump bump, thump bump, thump bump sound of it's heartbeat, the look on his face was the most incredible thing. She had seen it a few times before to some extent. That intense look as he worked though a piece on a song. Worked through it and was actually happy with it as opposed to saying it was crap like he thought the other 99% of everything he wrote was. It was the same look he got as he studied something he thought sounded the way true music should. It was like it was the most amazing thing he had ever heard.

The guilt about being here alone returned again. He had so wanted her there watching him tonight. And then they had that stupid fight. And by the time it was all over, even though they were fine, she was just too emotionally and physically exhausted to go back to the bar. Thinking back to how he was as he left, he was disappointed, but trying hard to hide it.

She was awake now though. She must have slept for over two hours after Roger left, and Mark went down to Jen's undoubtedly to fill them in on the building situation. The clock said 11:30. If she got up now she could be there for most of his last set.

Roger had really wanted her there tonight, and she really had wanted to be there with him. She could ask Mark to take her. He would, she knew that. But then poor Mark would be stuck with the two of them, all over each other.

Cass knew that Mark had always felt like a third wheel around all Roger's girlfriends. Especially Mimi and April. They had talked about it often over the years, and since she became involved with Roger. Cass knew Roger and Mark had talked about it too. Roger said Mark seemed a lot more comfortable around him and Cass then he ever did around Roger and anyone else. And that was before Mark and Joellen had even started seeing each other really.

No, she didn't want to make Mark take her. But how else could she get there? By herself? She still hadn't gone anywhere by herself. She had gone out with a number of people beyond Mark and Roger, but not by herself. Except that day in the park, with the dog. But that was different. It was daylight and she had a dog with her. And Roger was only going to be gone a few minutes.

You're a fool Cass she thought chewing on her lip. Two and a half days from now that boy is getting on a train and you won't see him for two whole weeks. Stop being a baby, get up and go. She sat up on the edge of the bed, willing herself to move.

Well, if you sit here long enough, he'll eventually come to you. But if you do this, it would probably thrill him beyond belief. She took a deep breath and stood up. Throwing her jeans and a top back on, she called a cab as she wrote Mark a note. She took her phone and pulled on Roger's old leather jacket, picking up the keys Mark had given her weeks ago.

When the cab pulled up in front of the building she just stood inside a second, looking at it on the street through the small window to the side of the door. You could chicken out the voice inside her head told her. Go back upstairs, throw out the note and wait in bed for him to come home. No one would even know. She took a step back towards the steps, about to do just that, when the look on Roger's face crossed her mind. It was his expression when they first heard that fast pounding little heart beat. Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, she pushed open the door and hopped into the cab, giving the driver the Iguana's address.

When she got inside the bar, she was almost as excited as she thought he would be when he found out she came on her own. She heard him immediately. The place was still pretty full so she was fairly sure he wouldn't see her right away.

Dave saw her walking over to the bar and set a drink down before she even sat down. "He said you weren't coming in tonight."

"He didn't know I was." She beamed.

"Well good, I'm glad you're here. He's been in a weird mood all night. Almost like he's trying to not be grumpy, but it's not quite working." Dave laughed. "You want anything else?" He asked dropping two cherries on a toothpick into her soda.

"Actually, I'm kinda hungry."

"All I've got is pretzels, unless you want to go in the back an check Izzy's personal stash."

"Nope, pretzels will do fine." She picked up her glass and took a sip. "You know, I never used to even drink ginger ale, and know it's like my new best friend. You guys and the Life Café just bring me one as soon as you see me now!" She laughed.

"You just missed Krystal. She had some fun giving the barely legals up by the front a hard time. They've been ga-ga over the entire band all night. After making me check multiple forms of ID on each on them, right before they guys took a break, she managed to let them all know Izzy, Roger and John the drummer were all seriously involved."

Cass laughed. "How did she do that?"

"You don't want to know." Dave laughed as he got her a bowl of pretzels and went back to work.

Cass sat in the far corner watching him. He was amazing. She knew they were almost halfway through the set by now. Cass got a piece of paper and a pen, wrote her phone number down on it with the words "just in case you're lonely later!" And gave it to Tina.

Tina waited until they finished their song, then went up to the stage, taking them more drinks. "Hey Rog, one of your many groupies asked me to give you this."

Cass saw Tina hand him the note. He looked at it and was about to toss it, when he stopped and started to study it again. Cass started laughing. She knew immediately what was going on. Roger recognized the number, but didn't know who it belonged to. He rarely called Cass' cell phone, and her number was already programmed in his so he never had to actually dial it. It took a second but he figured it out, she could tell by the grin on his face as his eyes scanned the bar looking for her. He found her and his grin grew. They started up again and the whole time they played Roger had a stupid grin on his face.

When the last set ended, Roger practically bolted off the stage and over to where she was sitting at the bar. "Hey Baby!" He told her as he grabbed her and kissed her. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was." She smiled at him as she intertwined their fingers. "But I woke up and I was cold, and lonely and I missed you."

"We can fix all of that." His grin went from simply happy to mischievous as his eyebrows went up.

"Plus I felt bad about before."

"Don't worry about that. That wasn't your fault, it was mine. I was acting like a dumbass." He started kissing her fingers as Izzy walked up.

"Well that explains why you suddenly started playing better!" Izzy joked at Roger as he walked behind the bar. "How you doing Cass? Oh hey, I got to tell you again what a great job you did on those CD's. Everybody is loving it." He looked back at Roger. "Make sure you give a copy to Trey when you get to Philly on Saturday. He wants to hear us. Probably to laugh at us, but still."

Roger wasn't even really listening to Izzy he was too busy concentrating on Cass. "Yeah whatever. So where's Mark at, I didn't see him."

"Probably asleep in bed." She said coyly.

"Really?" He was surprised. "Then who brought you down here?" Roger looked around for any of their friends.

"A cab brought me. I came by myself." She beamed.

"You did? Really?" Roger hugged her and kissed her again, running his hand up and down her back. "Baby that great! You okay with that? I can't believe you did that!"

"I'm fine. I just woke up and I missed you. And I felt bad because I knew you really wanted me to come hear you, at least for awhile tonight." She looked into his amazing green eyes. "So I made myself do it."

"I can't believe you came down here, this late on your own. Just to hear me play."

"Well you wanted me too. And like I said, I missed you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you for two whole weeks." Her arms were around his neck now as she played with his hair they had just re-bleached the other day.

"I know. It's going to be hard. We'll have to make the best of it before I go." He pouted at her.

"Well," Cass leaned in close to him. "We still have tonight and tomorrow and of course your birthday."

"Yeah we do don't we?"

"Uh huh." She moved so her lips were brushing his ear as she spoke. "And I did have a nap before." She slowly ran her tongue along his ear.

Roger leaned back, pulled her off the stool and looked at Izzy as he started towards the door. "By Iz, we're out of here!"

Izzy grinned. "Hey Casanova? You might want to remember your guitar, you might need that while you're gone the next two weeks."

Roger stopped, just before the door. "Oh, right. Be right back." He told her as he sat her at a table and went to get his stuff. As he walked past Izzy, who was laughing at him he just gave him a look. "Oh shut up Iz!"