A/N Wow! I can't believe somebody read this whole thing in 2 days! I can't thank you guys enough for sticking with me! Your continuous reviews just make my day. As always, thank you all for reading and liking this. You guys are great!

Note to Sandy – I knew that about Alison. I even checked when I was writing Lonely Nights. I don't know why I couldn't remember to do that in this one. So please forgive my faux pas.

Chapter 58

"You got extra strings? And your toothbrush?" Mark asked him.

"Yes."

"And your phone? And the charger? And your sunglasses? And your wallet?"

"Yes."

"And the CD from Izzy to give to Trey?"


"Yes Mom!" Roger grinned at Mark. "You know I have managed to go away before and pack all by myself. God Mark, what's next? You gonna tell me you wrote my name in my underwear too?"

Cass laughed from the couch. "Did you pack all you pills?"

"Yes I packed my pills." He told her sitting down next to her, pulling her close.

"Are you going to remember to take them?" Mark asked him.

"Yes Mark I think I can remember to take them. So don't call me three times a day." He called over the back of the couch to him. "When's Mo getting here?"

"Soon." Mark looked at his watch. "We need to leave here at one. That's in thirty minutes, just so you know. I gotta go down to Jen's, I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will." Roger said dryly as he grinned at Cass as Mark walked out the door.

After Mark was gone Cass turned to Roger. "Why can't I come with you to the train station?"

Roger hugged her close to him, kissing the side of her neck. "Because you don't feel good."

"I feel fine." She protested.

"Liar!" He kissed her nose. "Want me to dig out that onion bagel or some cold pizza to prove it?"

"Um, no. But I want to go."

"Nope. Mark's not coming back her until later. And Mo is coming over to hang out with you. Plus we need to take two different subway trains to even get there. I'd prefer the last time I saw you it wasn't to watch you puke or turn that pretty shade of green you get after riding the subway." He grinned at her.

"Please?" She begged.

"No. Stay here. Please?" he asked her.

"If that's what you really want."

"Yes that is what I want. That and you." He laughed grabbing her and pushing her down on the couch, kissing her hard. She kissed him back and as they moved around on the couch they almost fell off. Before they knew it Mark was back.

"Okay we got to go." He called walking through the door.

"Knew he'd be back." Roger whispered to her as he sat up. He looked at his watch. "We got ten minutes. You said one."

"I figured it'd take that long to make it out he door." He knew he would be right about that. Ten minutes later he all but was dragging Roger out the door. "We gotta leave now. Cass he's gonna miss his train if you don't make him leave."

"He's right. You need to go." She hugged him in the bedroom.

"I know." He told her in a low voce, but not letting go.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too." He ran his hand up into her hair, taking in the smell trying to memorize it.

"You're gonna be awesome."


"I love you Cass."

"I love you too."

He pulled her up and kissed her hard. "I gotta go. I love you. I'll call you tonight after the show. I promise. I love you Cass."

"I love you too. Be careful. Don't forget to take your pills. Or to call me. I'm so proud of you Baby." She pulled back and sat down on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chin.

Roger picked up his bag, her backpack and his guitar. "I love you Baby. I'm gonna miss you." Without giving her a chance to even say anything he almost bolted out of the bedroom.

She just sat there. She heard him tell Mark he was ready. She heard the front door open and Mark call to her that Maureen should be there any minute. Call him on his cell if she needed anything and he'd be back later this evening. Then the door closed and she was alone.

*************

Roger sat down next to Mark on the subway, his guitar between his knees. "Maureen should be there by now right?"

"Yeah, and besides she knows both Jen and Leslie are home. She'll be fine, will you stop worrying and just enjoy this!"

"Yeah I know, I just feel bad leaving her alone to run off and have fun."

"First of all, she's not alone, I'll be there. Secondly, you deserve this. This is what you always wanted. Always worked for." Mark sighed.

Hearing Mark sigh like that, he knew what Mark was thinking. That just made him feel even more guilty. "You're gonna get there Mark. Really you will."

"Huh?"

"You're gonna get the one film that both you and those idiots love one of these days. I know it. You've always worked for it. You deserve it a lot more than me. I've always just been playing around and for once got lucky instead of fucking up."

Mark looked at him for a second. "So is that a direct Jack Davis quote or are you paraphrasing?" He knew he would hit a nerve at the mention of Roger's father, but he didn't care. He hated it when Roger beat himself down like that. The self-pity act was one thing, but this was down right lying to himself.

Roger thought about it for a second. He started to get pissed at Mark for saying that, but he realized Mark was right. "Yeah I guess that was sort of a la Jack. Sorry I just feel like, I don't know, overwhelmed, somewhat freaked out. Okay, scared shitless."

"About what?" Mark grinned. "You toured before."

"Yeah with my band. This is a slightly bigger deal than anything the Well Hungarians ever did. And it's not just that. It's Cass. And leaving her alone. What if I come back in two weeks and well, things have changed?"

"Like what?"

"Well I mean it's only been two months. And it's not like she hadn't gone through a lot of stuff. She needed me. What if after two weeks with me gone, she doesn't need me anymore? She realizes she's perfectly fine on her own?"

"Roger, she stayed because she wanted to, not because she needed to. She loves you you big idiot!"

"I know. Look promise me you'll call me if anything happens."

"She'll be fine, but yeah, I promise."

"And make her eat something besides crackers. And make her take her vitamins, she doesn't like to take them. Says they make her sick."

"I can handle that. I've got experience with stubborn people that don't like to take pills." Mark grinned at him. "And since when did you start sounding so much like me? Worrying about stuff and all?"

"Me? You almost flew over the table at Benny yesterday. Fight first has never been your first reaction." Roger pointed out to him, laughing.

"Yeah I guess there has been a slight role reversal lately. Me I can understand, but why in God's name would you ever want to start becoming more like me? Worrying about everything? Suddenly having priorities. What brought that on?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I guess it's this whole baby thing. I mean did you see how little those clothes were?"

"Yeah I did, before you as a matter a fact. God we know so nothing about babies. Any of us. And well don't take this the wrong way, but the last person I ever envisioned at a father was you." Mark said sheepishly.

"Yeah I've been thinking about that a lot, especially since yesterday. With Allison and then last night."

"What about Allison?" Mark asked as their train pulled to a stop. They got up and started up the platform steps.

"Well it was always sort of Cass was having a baby and we were just sort of along for the ride. But yesterday, when Allison found out, she looks directly at me and tells me congratulations like I had anything to do with it. Then last night you guys and the baby stuff." He shrugged again as they stepped into Grand Central Station from the subway.

"I mean I'm okay with the world thinking it's mine. Actually I kind of like that part. It's the world looking at me as somebody's father. Like actually being a father, that kind of scares me."

Mark took all this in as they headed towards Roger's train. Finally he spoke as they reached his platform. "Rog you know you're nothing at all like him. You never could be either. That was one of your biggest problems between you two. You could see how horrible and what an ass he really was, your brothers couldn't."

"But what if…" He shook his head.

"What if nothing. Jack was a mean, hateful, bastard to you guys and your mom. You are nothing like your father. And you never will be either."

Roger's eyes went down to the floor. He couldn't look at Mark, right now. "You know my mom said some crazy thing about us coming there for dinner on Thanksgiving."

"Really? That's great. Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know. I said something to Cass and she's kinda excited. Said she's only ever had Thanksgiving dinner a few times and really wanted to have a real dinner this year."

"Well that's good. It might be fun. Are you two going to go?"


"Like I said, I don't know. And if we go, so do you. So what do you think?"

"That you are going to force me to go to Scarsdale, but luckily my parents will be at my aunts in Albany for the weekend." He grinned. "But I think your mom would really like to see you. And you wouldn't mind seeing her. And if she found out you were having a baby, it could only help things."

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready for the whole happy family thing though."

"Okay, so don't mention the baby. But I will tell you this, if Cass really wants a Thanksgiving dinner, I'd much rather your mother cook it then Cass." He laughed.

"Yeah I can understand that!" Roger laughed. "I've kinda missed her cooking. Especially since Cass has been making so many attempts lately. And not that your Ramon noodles aren't world class or anything Marky." He grinned.

"Get on the train Davis!" Mark laughed at him. "And don't forget to take your pills. And to eat. And to call us. And don't worry, everything's going to be fine." Mark gave him a quick hug. "Now get on the fucking train!"

"Yes mom." Roger laughed, picking up his bag that Mark had been carrying. He got a big stupid grin on his face. "Thanks. I'll talk to you soon. Uncle Marky!" With that he got on the train.

****************

By the time Mark reached the door of the Life Café he could see Joellen sitting at the bar waiting for him. Crap he thought, late again. "Hey, I'm sorry. Again. As usual." He told her.

"I'm used to it." She laughed. "You ready? We're still going up to the MOMA?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me just call Cass real quick and check on her. See if she wants any food." He pulled out his phone.

"Hey of course, gotta check on Cass." She said turning on her stool, saying it more to the other waitress she had been talking to before he got there.

"Okay she's fine. She's sitting around with Mo, Joanne and Jen. Something about nails and wax."


"Great. Now can we go?"

"Um, sure." Mark said hesitantly. He had the feeling she was annoyed at him but he didn't know why. He decided not to push it unless she said something. They went to the museum and walked through almost the whole thing. They got back on the subway headed back towards the loft.

"That was really fun. I haven't been there in a really long time."

"Yeah that was nice. What do you want to do now?" She asked him. "I'm getting hungry."

"Yeah me too. Where do you want to go?"

"How about we pick up some movies and food and I'll cook at your place."

"That sounds good. Oh wait, if we do that there's a good chance there would be more than just the three of us."

"The three of us?" She was confused.

"Yeah. Jen and Mo and Joanne are probably still there with Cass. You probably don't want to cook for all of them." Mark said apologetically.

"Yeah why don't we just stop somewhere." Because no, I do not want to cook for all those people.

"Okay. I'll take you anyplace you want. Are you mad at me?"

"No. Don't mind me. I'm being bitchy today. Let's just go eat."

They finished their dinner and picked out some movies before heading back to the loft. "Are you sure you're okay?" Mark asked her again, as they climbed the stairs up to his place.

"Yes, I'm just a little tired after work today. Maybe we can watch one movie and got to bed?"

"Well if you're that tired, maybe I should let you go to sleep now." He teased her.

"I said go to bed, not sleep." She grinned as Mark opened the door. Her grin fell as she saw Cass, Jen and Leslie watching TV

"Hey." Cass looked up from the couch. You guys are back early."

"We brought movies."

"Cool what did you get?" Jen asked.

Mark dropped the bags next to them on the couch as he tossed their jackets into his room. "Did you eat?"

"Yes." Cass flipped through the movies.

"What did you eat?"

"Food."

"Cass."

"Mark." She mocked back at him.

"Fine be obnoxious." He walked into the kitchen and whispered to Jen who was getting more drinks. "What did she eat?"

"I can hear you Mark." Cass laughed from the living room.

"Mark leave her alone and get me a beer please." Joellen called from the armchair.

Jen just shook her head at him and handed him two beers. "Spaghetti." She whispered to him.

"Hey let's watch this one." Leslie held up a tape.

"Eww. I wanted to see that." Jen said.

"Me too." Cass took her drink from Jen as she sat between Cass and Leslie on the couch.

"Oh great." Joellen said unenthusiastically.

Mark put the tape in and settled in on the floor at Joellen's feet. "So has he called yet?"

"He's not supposed to call till after the show. But he was going to play through the sound check."

"Wow I wish we could have gone to see one of the shows." Jen said.

"Oh that would be fun. We can't go for a ten-minute subway ride, can you imagine two hours on a train. She'd turn Kermit the Frog green and be puking the whole way." Mark laughed.

"Change of subject please." Cass announced. "Start the movie."

Grinning, Mark started the movie. After it ended Leslie got up to go home. "Okay, I'm going to bed. Are we doing brunch tomorrow?" She asked.

"Uh huh." Jen told her. "I guess up her as usual. Say 11:30ish Mark?"

"Yeah sounds good. What are you cooking?"

"What if I say nothing, I'm making you cook?"

"Then I'd tell you to bring cereal." Mark laughed.

"Okay I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow. Buy Joellen. You joining us for brunch?' Leslie asked.

"Ah, I guess."

"Okay see you guys tomorrow." With that she left.

"Put the other movie in Mark." Jen told him.

"Okay, which one do you want?" He held up two tapes. Mark put the film in and he started it. He got up and got the blanket from his room and brought it back, handing it to Joellen. "Cass are you warm enough?"

"Uh huh." She said sleepily. Pulling the blanket she had before up to her chin. She settled into the corner of the couch. Before she knew it, Mark was waking her up.

"I fell asleep again? Am I gonna be this tired for the rest of my life?"

"No, according to my mother it only lasts for about eighteen to twenty years." Joellen laughed. "And she had twins so she was twice as tired."

"Yeah Cass," Jen joked, "wouldn't that be funny. I mean think about it. You're already surrounded by twins. Me and Jason, Joellen and Jolene, not to mention the Siamese ones." She chuckled.

"What?"

"You know Siamese twins, Mark and Roger, attached at the hip."

Even Joellen found that funny. "Yeah wouldn't it be funny if you had twins?"

"That is about the most unfunny thing I have ever heard."

"Sweetie why don't you go to bed?" Mark asked her.

"I want to wait for Roger to call."

"Go to bed, I'll get you when he calls. Come on we're going to bed. Jen we'll see you tomorrow." Mark said standing up.

As they went into Mark's room, Joellen fell onto his bed. "You know, I thought they would never leave and Cass would never go to bed. You have too many people hanging out here all the time." She grinned at him. "At least at my place it's only my sister and sometimes Andrew. And most of the time they're at Andrew's anyway."

"Yeah well, there has just always been people hanging out at the loft. You got to remember," Mark told her, stripping down to his boxers and a tee shirt, "at one point there were five official people living here. That doesn't include various overnight guests and crashers." He hopped on the bed next to her, flicking off the light first.

"Well that's too many people for me." She told him cuddling up close to him. "Maybe you could stay at my place more often."

"That's possible." He grinned at her in the dark. "But I gotta stay her with Cass while Roger's gone."

"Right. Of course you do." She said softly.

****************

"Mark." Joellen nudged him. "Your phone's ringing."

He leaned over her, groped around on the floor for the phone. "Hello? Ow, um sorry Jo. Hello?" He said sleepily into the phone trying to climb over Joellen off the bed.

"Mark?"

"Hey! Yeah, sorry. I like fell off the edge of the bed trying to get the phone." He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on. Picking up a shirt and pulling it over his head as he closed the bedroom door. "So? What's it like? Are you totally loving it? How was the show? Better yet how was playing the sound check?"

Roger laughed at his barrage of questions. "Yeah it's awesome. How's Cass?"

"She's asleep. She's fine. She hung out with Jen and Mo and Leslie and Joanne all day. I guess she's feeling pretty good."

Mark walked to Roger and Cass' bedroom and quietly opened the door. "Cass." He said gently, shaking her shoulder. "Sweetie wake up."

"Did Roger call?" She asked him in a sleepy voice.

"Uh huh. He's on the phone." Mark handed her the phone and sat down next to her on the bed, leaning against the wall and pulling the blanket up over both of them.

"Hey." She said softly. "I missed you. Are you loving it?"

"Yeah it's incredible. Trey's great too. I can't wait to actually play the show."

Cass leaned the phone out so Mark could hear Roger as well. He told them all about it so far. All about the sound check. All about the band and the roadies and everything.

While Roger talked Mark and Cass had slid down on the bed, the phone resting on the pillow. Eventually Mark fell back asleep. When Cass realized that, she took the phone and rolled over on her side.

"I'm glad you're having a good time Roger. Is it everything you expected?"

"Oh yeah! Definitely! But it's a good thing I never got the chance before though."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Way too many drugs. Way too easy. It wouldn't have been a good thing before."

"But you're okay?"


"Yeah. I'm okay. Got more to stay clean for now. But I wouldn't have been that good a couple of years ago I don't think."

"I'm glad Baby. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Except I miss you. A lot. Is Mark still on the phone?" He asked, all of a sudden.

Cass laughed. "No he fell asleep a few minutes ago."

"Oh. Okay. I was just checking. I do miss you though."

"I miss you too. I want you back here, but I want you on your tour too."

"I know Baby." He laughed for a second. "You know, one of these days I'm gonna have to stop calling you that. It's gonna get confusing."

"Yeah I guess it might." She laughed.

"Okay. Go back to sleep." He told her softly into the phone.

"No I'm awake. I want to talk to you."


"Liar." He laughed at her. "Go to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow night after my first show."

"Okay," she yawned, "but I'm not really sleepy."


"Right. Go to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow night. I miss you."

"I miss you too Baby."

"I love you Cass. Both of you."


"You mean me and Mark?" She teased him.

"No I don't mean you and Mark smarty. You know what I mean."

"We love you too Roger. Goodnight."