Disclaimer::: The lyrics is this chappie are from "From The Damage" by O-
Town. I do not claim them in any way, shape, or form......
Okay this chappie is written to show Oscar's thoughts and feelings over the two weeks following the end of chapter 14......
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Irreparable Damage....
This time I'm done with always screwing up
I'm sick of one direction- down
I'm a broken picture frame
My whole world's twisted inside-out
Oscar followed his brother through the newsies crowded outside the gates of the Distribution Center. He paid no attention to the jokes and insults called out to him and Morris. He was numb to it all.
Morris tried defending them by himself but Oscar had always been quicker with the comebacks. However, Oscar had not been his usual self for a couple days. Morris knew that something had happened between Tempest and Oscar but Oscar wouldn't admit to anything. In fact, Oscar hadn't said more than 5 words to anyone.
Oscar went through his usual job of handing the newsies their papers. Just as he had for the last couple days, he scanned the line for Mattie. Once again she was nowhere in sight. *Where could she be?,* he wondered.
"Hey Oscar! Pay attention. I asked fer me hundred papes," snapped Jack.
Oscar quietly counted it out and handed Jack his papers.
"What ya got nuttin' ta say?," taunted Jack. When Oscar still said nothing, Jack added quietly, "And ta t'ink she picked a bastard like you over me."
Oscar watched through narrowed, disbelieving eyes as Jack shot a quick glare and stormed off. Oscar shook his head and went right back to work and thoughts of Mattie.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Sceaming voices like a hurricane
They're telling me to wake up
Get out of bed
Put your feet on the floor
There's fresh air out the door
A few days later, Oscar laid in bed thinking of Mattie. He hadn't seen her in a week. He missed her so much. The way she smiled and laughed. He even missed her quick temper.
"Oscar, get up!," yelled an agitated Morris. "You've missed three days of work already. You can't afford to miss a forth!"
"Get out, Morris!," growled Oscar. Hearing no noise, he added, "Get da h*** out of my room NOW!!"
Morris sighed. He hated when Oscar was in this kind of mood. Oscar had been somewhat like this after Sapphire started going with Race. However, it was a lot worse this time around. *Maybe he really loves Tempest,* thought Morris. "I'm not leavin' ya by yerself again."
Oscar rolled over to look at Morris. "It's not like I'm gonna kill myself!"
"I used ta t'ink ya'd never kill yerself but dammit Oscar I don't know anymore." Morris crumpled his bowler a little as he held it in his hands. "Ya act as if dere's nuttin' left fer ya out dere," he added quietly, looking down at the ground.
"Maybe I act dat way cause it's true," said Oscar as he turned away from the pleading look on Morris' face. "After I lost Sapphire, I thought dat no one else could make me feel da way she did. I mean I loved her. Den Mattie shows up and boom. All of a sudden, all dose feelings...dey came back but it was....different wid Mattie. I didn't know how different until she left. I love her more den I evea loved anyone, including Sapph."
"Whoa," stated Morris, shocked Oscar was even admitting all this to him. "I wish I could say dat I know how ya feel but I don't know what dat feels like. I can say dat ya need ta get outta dat bed and move on. If yer meant ta be wid her den t'ings will work demselves out. Trust me."
Oscar looked at Morris as he considered his words. He rolled out of bed and got ready. *Maybe he's right,* he thought.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Last time I'm playing with a broken string
It don't matter no one's listening
Cause losing you had made me see
I gotta change
Gotta blame it all on me
A few days later, Oscar was still doing as Morris had suggested. It was hard not seeing Mattie around the Distribution Center. She wasn't there joking with one of the guys or talking to Sapph and Race. It seemed so different without her.
Oscar kept replaying the last conversation with her. *Why didn't I stop her? Or follow her?,* he thought bitterly to himself. *And why da h*** didn't I tell her dat I love her? She might still be here if I had done something! I'm such an idiot.*
My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you
My hands may as well be tied cause I just can't touch you
Before the smoke can really clear away
From fires I started yesterday
I know that I've gotta find a way
Somehow I've gotta find a way
To wake up from the damage
*I would give ANYTHING ta see her right now,* thought Oscar as he walked around Manhattan searching for her. *If I find her I swear I'll wrap my arms around her and never let go.*
Oscar was so busy looking for Mattie that he ran into someone. Startled he turned his head to find Jack. *Just great,* he thought glumly. *Now I have ta waste time fighting wid Jack, when I could be searching for Mattie.*
The two stared at each other as if waiting for the other to do something. Jack turned away first and pushed past Oscar to continue on his way. Oscar blinked a couple times. For once there had been no insults or punches. There had been nothing. Nothing at all.
Oscar remembered suddenly what Jack had said a couple days after Mattie had disappeared. *'And ta t'ink she picked a bastard like you ovea me...',* he recalled as he closed his eyes to block out other noises. *What does dat mean? She picked....*
"Oh my god! She turned him down! She turned down Jack Kelly for me! But when?," he exclaimed, unable to keep such thoughts to himself. "JACK! JACK!," he yelled as he ran down the street after Jack. But he couldn't find him. He must've gone down an alley at some point for he was no where in sight.
Oscar stopped running and began gasping for breath as his thoughts raced through his mind. *I have ta find Mattie and fix dis,* he thought.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything
To make it up to you
Oscar had seen and heard nothing of Mattie for little over two weeks. Oscar was beginning to wonder if he would ever see her again.
As if to match his mood, the rain began to fall. Not too hard but too much to be considered sprinkling. A part of him told him to give up and move on but the more persistent, hopeful side of him refused to give up. He loved her and he was going to win her back. Once he had her back, he was going to treat her right.
My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could of known
That you just can't walk away
From the damage
Despite the complaints from passers-by, Oscar stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He let the rain soak into his clothes as he remembered what it felt like to hold, kiss, and even just to be around Mattie.
Oscar's eyes began to sting as the tears he had tried to hold back for two weeks began to fall. He felt so alone and ....tired. Tired of all the pain and fighting. Tired of all the confusion.
"Oscar!," a familiar voice called, breaking through the haze. He feared turning around for he may have imagined her calling for him. "Oscar!"
Hesitantly he turned toward the voice. There she was only a street away from him. "Mattie," he breathed out on a sigh. He couldn't believe it was really her. He watched as the vision walked over to him. He knew there was a possibility that he was so emotionally and mentally strained that he was hallucinating.
Then she was standing in front of him, soaked as thoroughly as he was. He knew she was real the moment she placed her hand in his. He couldn't speak.
He didn't have to for she spoke first. "Tell me it's not just me," she said, her eyes searching his for something, but what?
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Oh, I'm so cruel!!! Well not really since the next chapter is already up...lol. Please REVIEW....and then go on...I know you can't wait to find out what Mattie's been up to and why she said what she did to Oscar........
~Molly
Okay this chappie is written to show Oscar's thoughts and feelings over the two weeks following the end of chapter 14......
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Irreparable Damage....
This time I'm done with always screwing up
I'm sick of one direction- down
I'm a broken picture frame
My whole world's twisted inside-out
Oscar followed his brother through the newsies crowded outside the gates of the Distribution Center. He paid no attention to the jokes and insults called out to him and Morris. He was numb to it all.
Morris tried defending them by himself but Oscar had always been quicker with the comebacks. However, Oscar had not been his usual self for a couple days. Morris knew that something had happened between Tempest and Oscar but Oscar wouldn't admit to anything. In fact, Oscar hadn't said more than 5 words to anyone.
Oscar went through his usual job of handing the newsies their papers. Just as he had for the last couple days, he scanned the line for Mattie. Once again she was nowhere in sight. *Where could she be?,* he wondered.
"Hey Oscar! Pay attention. I asked fer me hundred papes," snapped Jack.
Oscar quietly counted it out and handed Jack his papers.
"What ya got nuttin' ta say?," taunted Jack. When Oscar still said nothing, Jack added quietly, "And ta t'ink she picked a bastard like you over me."
Oscar watched through narrowed, disbelieving eyes as Jack shot a quick glare and stormed off. Oscar shook his head and went right back to work and thoughts of Mattie.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Sceaming voices like a hurricane
They're telling me to wake up
Get out of bed
Put your feet on the floor
There's fresh air out the door
A few days later, Oscar laid in bed thinking of Mattie. He hadn't seen her in a week. He missed her so much. The way she smiled and laughed. He even missed her quick temper.
"Oscar, get up!," yelled an agitated Morris. "You've missed three days of work already. You can't afford to miss a forth!"
"Get out, Morris!," growled Oscar. Hearing no noise, he added, "Get da h*** out of my room NOW!!"
Morris sighed. He hated when Oscar was in this kind of mood. Oscar had been somewhat like this after Sapphire started going with Race. However, it was a lot worse this time around. *Maybe he really loves Tempest,* thought Morris. "I'm not leavin' ya by yerself again."
Oscar rolled over to look at Morris. "It's not like I'm gonna kill myself!"
"I used ta t'ink ya'd never kill yerself but dammit Oscar I don't know anymore." Morris crumpled his bowler a little as he held it in his hands. "Ya act as if dere's nuttin' left fer ya out dere," he added quietly, looking down at the ground.
"Maybe I act dat way cause it's true," said Oscar as he turned away from the pleading look on Morris' face. "After I lost Sapphire, I thought dat no one else could make me feel da way she did. I mean I loved her. Den Mattie shows up and boom. All of a sudden, all dose feelings...dey came back but it was....different wid Mattie. I didn't know how different until she left. I love her more den I evea loved anyone, including Sapph."
"Whoa," stated Morris, shocked Oscar was even admitting all this to him. "I wish I could say dat I know how ya feel but I don't know what dat feels like. I can say dat ya need ta get outta dat bed and move on. If yer meant ta be wid her den t'ings will work demselves out. Trust me."
Oscar looked at Morris as he considered his words. He rolled out of bed and got ready. *Maybe he's right,* he thought.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Last time I'm playing with a broken string
It don't matter no one's listening
Cause losing you had made me see
I gotta change
Gotta blame it all on me
A few days later, Oscar was still doing as Morris had suggested. It was hard not seeing Mattie around the Distribution Center. She wasn't there joking with one of the guys or talking to Sapph and Race. It seemed so different without her.
Oscar kept replaying the last conversation with her. *Why didn't I stop her? Or follow her?,* he thought bitterly to himself. *And why da h*** didn't I tell her dat I love her? She might still be here if I had done something! I'm such an idiot.*
My eyes may as well be blind if I just can't see you
My hands may as well be tied cause I just can't touch you
Before the smoke can really clear away
From fires I started yesterday
I know that I've gotta find a way
Somehow I've gotta find a way
To wake up from the damage
*I would give ANYTHING ta see her right now,* thought Oscar as he walked around Manhattan searching for her. *If I find her I swear I'll wrap my arms around her and never let go.*
Oscar was so busy looking for Mattie that he ran into someone. Startled he turned his head to find Jack. *Just great,* he thought glumly. *Now I have ta waste time fighting wid Jack, when I could be searching for Mattie.*
The two stared at each other as if waiting for the other to do something. Jack turned away first and pushed past Oscar to continue on his way. Oscar blinked a couple times. For once there had been no insults or punches. There had been nothing. Nothing at all.
Oscar remembered suddenly what Jack had said a couple days after Mattie had disappeared. *'And ta t'ink she picked a bastard like you ovea me...',* he recalled as he closed his eyes to block out other noises. *What does dat mean? She picked....*
"Oh my god! She turned him down! She turned down Jack Kelly for me! But when?," he exclaimed, unable to keep such thoughts to himself. "JACK! JACK!," he yelled as he ran down the street after Jack. But he couldn't find him. He must've gone down an alley at some point for he was no where in sight.
Oscar stopped running and began gasping for breath as his thoughts raced through his mind. *I have ta find Mattie and fix dis,* he thought.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
And I've been acting so pathetic
Knocking around like a ball on a string
It's taking time for me to get it
I'm ready and willing to do anything
To make it up to you
Oscar had seen and heard nothing of Mattie for little over two weeks. Oscar was beginning to wonder if he would ever see her again.
As if to match his mood, the rain began to fall. Not too hard but too much to be considered sprinkling. A part of him told him to give up and move on but the more persistent, hopeful side of him refused to give up. He loved her and he was going to win her back. Once he had her back, he was going to treat her right.
My arms are hurting so bad from being so empty
My heart weighs like a ton cause it feels so heavy
I'm standing here all alone
Wishing that I could of known
That you just can't walk away
From the damage
Despite the complaints from passers-by, Oscar stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He let the rain soak into his clothes as he remembered what it felt like to hold, kiss, and even just to be around Mattie.
Oscar's eyes began to sting as the tears he had tried to hold back for two weeks began to fall. He felt so alone and ....tired. Tired of all the pain and fighting. Tired of all the confusion.
"Oscar!," a familiar voice called, breaking through the haze. He feared turning around for he may have imagined her calling for him. "Oscar!"
Hesitantly he turned toward the voice. There she was only a street away from him. "Mattie," he breathed out on a sigh. He couldn't believe it was really her. He watched as the vision walked over to him. He knew there was a possibility that he was so emotionally and mentally strained that he was hallucinating.
Then she was standing in front of him, soaked as thoroughly as he was. He knew she was real the moment she placed her hand in his. He couldn't speak.
He didn't have to for she spoke first. "Tell me it's not just me," she said, her eyes searching his for something, but what?
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Oh, I'm so cruel!!! Well not really since the next chapter is already up...lol. Please REVIEW....and then go on...I know you can't wait to find out what Mattie's been up to and why she said what she did to Oscar........
~Molly