Disclaimer:::The lyrics used in this chapter are from "It's Not Just Me" by
Rascal Flatts. I do not claim them in any way, shape, or form.
This chapter emphasizes Mattie's thoughts and feelings over the two weeks starting exactly at the end of chapter 14.....This chapter is supposed to fill in any blanks left by the last two chapters.....
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Final Decision.....
Spot led Tempest to the bridge and began to say goodbye but she stopped him.
"I can't do it Spot. I can't go back there and face them," stated Tempest sadly.
"You'll have ta face dem sometime, Temp," he said soothingly. "I'll come and stay wid ya fer a while, if it makes ya feel any better."
"Thanks Spot," whispered Tempest as she stared across the bridge at Manhattan.
Spot led the way across the bridge, having to stop every now and then to wait for Tempest who was dragging her feet. Eventually they made their way into Manhattan despite Tempest's objections.
Spot searched the streets as he neared Jack's usual selling spot. When he saw the familiar figure, he instantly led Tempest to Jack.
"Heya, Jacky-boy, I found somethin' of yers," called Spot as they got closer. Jack turned with a smirk to Spot but quickly frowned when he saw Mattie.
"What da h***? Don't tell me yer actually gettin' along wid 'er now," growled Jack. "Did she tell ya she ain't really one of us?"
"She told me about yer situation but dat don't mean she ain't a Newsie," stated Spot coolly.
"Hey guys, I'm standing right here," she cried. Spot placed a hand on Tempest's arm to quiet her.
"Look Jack, we jist came ta tell ya dat Tempest is stayin' in Brooklyn fer da time being. She'll be undea my protection so I don't want ta hear from me boids dat yer plannin' a revenge on her or dat lout Oscar. Got it?"
Jack glared Mattie as he replied, "Heard ya loud and clear, Spot. Loud and clear."
Spot nodded once in approval and then grabbed Tempest by the arm and led her away as quickly as possible. When they were out of Jack's view, he stopped abruptly.
"When was it decided that I would be going to Brooklyn?," she asked, not really caring.
"When I saw da look on his face and realized exactly what you were up against."
"Thanks Spot," she whispered numbly. She couldn't get over how rude Jack had been. Suddenly the gallant Jack Kelly was no longer the one coming to her rescue. He was the one she needed saved from.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me you've had trouble sleeping
That you toss and turn from side to side
That it's my face you've been seeing
In your dreams at night
Mattie raised her head and punched the pillow once again. This was the fourth night in a row that she could barely sleep. When she did sleep she kept seeing Oscar. Hearing his voice calling to her in her sleep was not helping her insomnia.
Mattie let out a small growl as she threw her head back against the uncomfortable pillow. Why couldn't she just get through one night without thinking about, much less seeing, Oscar Delancey. *I hate him,* she thought. *I hate him because he invades my thoughts. I hate him because he keeps pushing me away. I hate him because he loves to make me mad. But most of all, I hate him because I love him so much.*
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me that you wake up crying
And you're not sure exactly why
Tell me that something is missing
In your life, in your life baby
Mattie walked cautiously around Brooklyn, looking for something. She didn't know what she was looking for but she knew that she had to find it soon. Her life as she knew it depended upon it.
Turning into an alley, she came face-to face with the very thing or rather the very person she was looking for. Running to him, she threw her arms around his neck and held him close to her.......................
..............Mattie jolted awake. "Oscar," she whispered pleadingly as she brought her hands up to her face. She ignored the wet, salty substance that was streaming down her cheeks into her hands. All she could think about was how real the dream had seemed and how right it had felt to hold him in her arms.
After a week of sleepless nights, this dream had been the most vivid and heartbreaking. *I don't know how much more I can handle of this,* she thought bitterly.
She laid back down and closed her eyes against the constant stream of tears. She knew sleep was no longer an option tonight.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you've waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it's not just me
Spot watched as Tempest slowly descended the steps. She looked terrible. It had been little over a week since she had come to stay in Brooklyn and in that time she had barely eaten. He also knew she hadn't slept much because he could hear her toss and turn at night.
"Tempest," he called as she began to head to the door.
"Yes, Spot," she responded quietly without turning around.
"Come 'ere, I needs ta talk ta ya," he stated simply.
She turned on her heel slowly and walked over to him. Sitting down in the chair across from Spot, she slid down so that the back of her head rested on the back of the chair and her legs were stretched out in front of her, almost touching Spot.
"How ya been lately?"
Tempest gave him a weird look but responded with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Let's skip selling dis morning and go eat some breakfast, my treat," he tried.
"I'm not hungry," she said, staring up at the ceiling.
"Ya never are anymore," he complained.
"So? What's your point, Conlon? I know you have a reason for wanting to talk to me," she said as she looked at Spot with blank eyes.
"Ya gotta stop dis, Temp."
"Stop what?"
"Stop starving yerself! Stop tossing and turning at night! Stop letting yerself fall apart!"
Tempest seemed to spring to life at his words. "I think it's YOU who needs to stop. Stop trying to control me! I know how to take care of myself dammit! I don't need you!"
Spot suppressed his anger. He knew that she was in too much pain to realize what she was doing. He studied Tempest's face as it suddenly became distorted in pain and saddness. She collapsed into the chair with a whimper and closed her eyes against the silent tears.
Spot got up slowly and went to her chair. He wrapped her in his arms and just held her as she cried. He didn't know what to say to comfort her.
"I...I'm...sorry," she whimpered as she looked up at Spot. She hastily wiped her tear-stained cheeks and pulled away from him. "I'm just tired of all this. Sometimes I want to leave New York behind. Just hop on a train and never look back."
"Maybe you need ta get away and start ovea," suggested Spot quietly.
"You want me to run away like a coward because things got a little too hard," said Tempest dumbfounded.
"I'm jist suggestin' a way ta help ya."
"The only family I have left is here. Where would I go? And the newsies. What would they think?"
"They would understand...eventually."
"No, they wouldn't. Sapph and Race wouldn't."
"I'll explain it ta dem," declared Spot. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. "Jist promise ya'll think about it."
"I promise," replied Tempest defeatedly. Spot nodded his head at her reply and got up.
"Let's go eat," he said as if the discussion of Tempest leaving had never happened.
"Maybe later Spot. I want to stay and think about all this."
"We'll eat lunch tageddea, okay? I'll go eat and bring some back fer ya."
"Okay Spot." She watched Spot leave through disinterested eyes. *How can I even consider leaving everyone behind?,* she thought as she reclined in her seat once again.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Hold me now and tell me that you do believe
In a soul, a soul mate
Mattie stepped into Manhattan for the first time in over two weeks. It felt almost like coming home with it's familiar buildings and streets. *Maybe I shouldn't have come back,* she thought as she took in everything. *I should've had Spot send for them like he suggested. This is just making everything harder.*
She was too involved in her thoughts to notice the rain that had begun to fall. It seemed to fit perfectly with what she was about to do. *I have to find Sapph and Race,* she thought as she turned toward the Lodging House. She dreaded going there but in order to find Sapphire she would have to risk it.
Smething stopped her. She didn't know or care what it was but she took this pause to raise her face up to the heavens. She let the rain wash away her sorrow and regrets. It washed away the fear of what was to come. Unfortunately, reality slowly sunk in again and she brought her face back down. Suddenly there he was. He stood there as if he was just waiting for her to notice him.
"Oscar!," she cried.
I could've sworn I saw you smile at me
Standing in the pouring rain
At a loss for words and running out of time
I said this crazy thing
"Oscar," she called to him again when he didn't move. She knew it was him. She rushed towards him. He turned to her and seemed to freeze.
She walked up to him and grabbed his hand, wanting to touch him and prove he was real. She looked up into his beautiful brown eyes and tried to memorize him. *I have to tell him,* she thought. *It's only fair.*
However, instead of telling him, she let these words slip, "Tell me it's not just me."
He looked shocked at her words but she was just as shocked. She hadn't expected that to come out. Now she would just have to face whatever was going to happen next.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Now I am being cruel! I haven't written the next chappie yet so not even I know what is going to happen. I will try to update as soon as I can but bear with me. I hope you enjoyed these chapters. Did you notice each one got progressively longer and harder for me to write? Thanks to all my reviewers!!!! I'm sorry I'm not doing shout-outs!! Well, please REVIEW!!!!!!!
~Molly
This chapter emphasizes Mattie's thoughts and feelings over the two weeks starting exactly at the end of chapter 14.....This chapter is supposed to fill in any blanks left by the last two chapters.....
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Final Decision.....
Spot led Tempest to the bridge and began to say goodbye but she stopped him.
"I can't do it Spot. I can't go back there and face them," stated Tempest sadly.
"You'll have ta face dem sometime, Temp," he said soothingly. "I'll come and stay wid ya fer a while, if it makes ya feel any better."
"Thanks Spot," whispered Tempest as she stared across the bridge at Manhattan.
Spot led the way across the bridge, having to stop every now and then to wait for Tempest who was dragging her feet. Eventually they made their way into Manhattan despite Tempest's objections.
Spot searched the streets as he neared Jack's usual selling spot. When he saw the familiar figure, he instantly led Tempest to Jack.
"Heya, Jacky-boy, I found somethin' of yers," called Spot as they got closer. Jack turned with a smirk to Spot but quickly frowned when he saw Mattie.
"What da h***? Don't tell me yer actually gettin' along wid 'er now," growled Jack. "Did she tell ya she ain't really one of us?"
"She told me about yer situation but dat don't mean she ain't a Newsie," stated Spot coolly.
"Hey guys, I'm standing right here," she cried. Spot placed a hand on Tempest's arm to quiet her.
"Look Jack, we jist came ta tell ya dat Tempest is stayin' in Brooklyn fer da time being. She'll be undea my protection so I don't want ta hear from me boids dat yer plannin' a revenge on her or dat lout Oscar. Got it?"
Jack glared Mattie as he replied, "Heard ya loud and clear, Spot. Loud and clear."
Spot nodded once in approval and then grabbed Tempest by the arm and led her away as quickly as possible. When they were out of Jack's view, he stopped abruptly.
"When was it decided that I would be going to Brooklyn?," she asked, not really caring.
"When I saw da look on his face and realized exactly what you were up against."
"Thanks Spot," she whispered numbly. She couldn't get over how rude Jack had been. Suddenly the gallant Jack Kelly was no longer the one coming to her rescue. He was the one she needed saved from.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me you've had trouble sleeping
That you toss and turn from side to side
That it's my face you've been seeing
In your dreams at night
Mattie raised her head and punched the pillow once again. This was the fourth night in a row that she could barely sleep. When she did sleep she kept seeing Oscar. Hearing his voice calling to her in her sleep was not helping her insomnia.
Mattie let out a small growl as she threw her head back against the uncomfortable pillow. Why couldn't she just get through one night without thinking about, much less seeing, Oscar Delancey. *I hate him,* she thought. *I hate him because he invades my thoughts. I hate him because he keeps pushing me away. I hate him because he loves to make me mad. But most of all, I hate him because I love him so much.*
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me that you wake up crying
And you're not sure exactly why
Tell me that something is missing
In your life, in your life baby
Mattie walked cautiously around Brooklyn, looking for something. She didn't know what she was looking for but she knew that she had to find it soon. Her life as she knew it depended upon it.
Turning into an alley, she came face-to face with the very thing or rather the very person she was looking for. Running to him, she threw her arms around his neck and held him close to her.......................
..............Mattie jolted awake. "Oscar," she whispered pleadingly as she brought her hands up to her face. She ignored the wet, salty substance that was streaming down her cheeks into her hands. All she could think about was how real the dream had seemed and how right it had felt to hold him in her arms.
After a week of sleepless nights, this dream had been the most vivid and heartbreaking. *I don't know how much more I can handle of this,* she thought bitterly.
She laid back down and closed her eyes against the constant stream of tears. She knew sleep was no longer an option tonight.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tell me that you live for love
That forever is never enough
That you've waited all your life to see
That you want so badly to believe
Tell me that it's not just me
Spot watched as Tempest slowly descended the steps. She looked terrible. It had been little over a week since she had come to stay in Brooklyn and in that time she had barely eaten. He also knew she hadn't slept much because he could hear her toss and turn at night.
"Tempest," he called as she began to head to the door.
"Yes, Spot," she responded quietly without turning around.
"Come 'ere, I needs ta talk ta ya," he stated simply.
She turned on her heel slowly and walked over to him. Sitting down in the chair across from Spot, she slid down so that the back of her head rested on the back of the chair and her legs were stretched out in front of her, almost touching Spot.
"How ya been lately?"
Tempest gave him a weird look but responded with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Let's skip selling dis morning and go eat some breakfast, my treat," he tried.
"I'm not hungry," she said, staring up at the ceiling.
"Ya never are anymore," he complained.
"So? What's your point, Conlon? I know you have a reason for wanting to talk to me," she said as she looked at Spot with blank eyes.
"Ya gotta stop dis, Temp."
"Stop what?"
"Stop starving yerself! Stop tossing and turning at night! Stop letting yerself fall apart!"
Tempest seemed to spring to life at his words. "I think it's YOU who needs to stop. Stop trying to control me! I know how to take care of myself dammit! I don't need you!"
Spot suppressed his anger. He knew that she was in too much pain to realize what she was doing. He studied Tempest's face as it suddenly became distorted in pain and saddness. She collapsed into the chair with a whimper and closed her eyes against the silent tears.
Spot got up slowly and went to her chair. He wrapped her in his arms and just held her as she cried. He didn't know what to say to comfort her.
"I...I'm...sorry," she whimpered as she looked up at Spot. She hastily wiped her tear-stained cheeks and pulled away from him. "I'm just tired of all this. Sometimes I want to leave New York behind. Just hop on a train and never look back."
"Maybe you need ta get away and start ovea," suggested Spot quietly.
"You want me to run away like a coward because things got a little too hard," said Tempest dumbfounded.
"I'm jist suggestin' a way ta help ya."
"The only family I have left is here. Where would I go? And the newsies. What would they think?"
"They would understand...eventually."
"No, they wouldn't. Sapph and Race wouldn't."
"I'll explain it ta dem," declared Spot. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. "Jist promise ya'll think about it."
"I promise," replied Tempest defeatedly. Spot nodded his head at her reply and got up.
"Let's go eat," he said as if the discussion of Tempest leaving had never happened.
"Maybe later Spot. I want to stay and think about all this."
"We'll eat lunch tageddea, okay? I'll go eat and bring some back fer ya."
"Okay Spot." She watched Spot leave through disinterested eyes. *How can I even consider leaving everyone behind?,* she thought as she reclined in her seat once again.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Hold me now and tell me that you do believe
In a soul, a soul mate
Mattie stepped into Manhattan for the first time in over two weeks. It felt almost like coming home with it's familiar buildings and streets. *Maybe I shouldn't have come back,* she thought as she took in everything. *I should've had Spot send for them like he suggested. This is just making everything harder.*
She was too involved in her thoughts to notice the rain that had begun to fall. It seemed to fit perfectly with what she was about to do. *I have to find Sapph and Race,* she thought as she turned toward the Lodging House. She dreaded going there but in order to find Sapphire she would have to risk it.
Smething stopped her. She didn't know or care what it was but she took this pause to raise her face up to the heavens. She let the rain wash away her sorrow and regrets. It washed away the fear of what was to come. Unfortunately, reality slowly sunk in again and she brought her face back down. Suddenly there he was. He stood there as if he was just waiting for her to notice him.
"Oscar!," she cried.
I could've sworn I saw you smile at me
Standing in the pouring rain
At a loss for words and running out of time
I said this crazy thing
"Oscar," she called to him again when he didn't move. She knew it was him. She rushed towards him. He turned to her and seemed to freeze.
She walked up to him and grabbed his hand, wanting to touch him and prove he was real. She looked up into his beautiful brown eyes and tried to memorize him. *I have to tell him,* she thought. *It's only fair.*
However, instead of telling him, she let these words slip, "Tell me it's not just me."
He looked shocked at her words but she was just as shocked. She hadn't expected that to come out. Now she would just have to face whatever was going to happen next.
~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Now I am being cruel! I haven't written the next chappie yet so not even I know what is going to happen. I will try to update as soon as I can but bear with me. I hope you enjoyed these chapters. Did you notice each one got progressively longer and harder for me to write? Thanks to all my reviewers!!!! I'm sorry I'm not doing shout-outs!! Well, please REVIEW!!!!!!!
~Molly