Author's Notes: Just a reminder that this is the sequel to Sango's Ordeal. Also this chapter has some implications of adult thoughts and situations—you've been warned in advance skip over everything Miroku says…well not everything ^_^.
Miroku's Worst Fear Chapter Four: The Answer'Damnit! I'm such a fucking idiot!'
"Ooh…that was dumb," Shippou said, shaking his head.
Miroku lifted his head from his hands, "That didn't come out the way I meant it."
"I hope not," Shippou began again, "because that was just mean. I mean I know Rika said that you marry the one that would make you most miserable, but geez you don't have to go that far."
"Shippou!" Miroku took a deep breath calming himself. "I'm sorry I yelled, but it's better if she is mad at me. It'll be easier for her to agree to forget this ever happened. I can't…I can't be married. Not even to Sango."
"Miroku?" Shippou asked noticing that the houshi was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were white and staring out the shoji. He made his way over to Miroku and floated himself to alight on his shoulder. "Perhaps you should go find her and explain this all to her."
Miroku nodded and began walking towards the fusuma.
"Uh…Miroku, aren't you going the wrong…waAAAAY!" Shippou said landing on his tail in the hallway as the fusuma slid shut before him one more time.
Taking a few moments to gather his wits, Miroku peered out the open doorway. Slowly placing a bare foot on the soft warm wood, he edged his way from the safety of the room. Sango was nowhere to be seen. At first he wondered if she had run through another room just to get away from him and his insensitive words, but as he was walking through the falling sakura he heard a sniffle. "Sango?" he whispered into the afternoon air.
"Go away..." came the soft reply to his right. Looking right all he saw was the beautiful onsen. Scanning the area he stopped on the trunk of the sakura tree right in front of him. Following the trunk up to its pale pink petals and its thin withering branches he caught a glimpse of a slender foot hanging from one of the thicker branches.
Miroku sighed, "Come down? Please."
"No," Sango replied. He could hear her holding back sniffles but pain radiated through her tone.
"Can I come up?" he replied softly.
"Do you want to get wet?" she said evenly, but it had no effect Miroku was already attempting to get a grasp on the tree branches. Swinging his leg upward his robe got snagged on a low branch. Pushing the full weight of his body onto the branch he heard the rip but continued to climb until he was level with her. "Stay on your own branch. I swear, you come any closer and I'll push you in," she said softly but gravely.
"Sango…"
"I don't want to hear it," she said crossing her arms and looking away.
"Yes… you do," he replied calmly turning her face to meet his.
"Alright. Why not? What's wrong with me?" she said louder than she'd intended.
"What in the world could ever make you think there was something wrong with you?" He said sincerely. "Usually my words that don't concern houshi-business don't carry much weight."
"Oh so…it my fault for misunderstanding," she said averting her eyes in the other direction.
Miroku sighed, "This isn't coming out at all how it's supposed to. Sango listen to me."
"Why should I?" she said in a harsh even tone.
"It's not you that I don't want to be married to. I just… I don't want to be married to anyone."
Sango waited for him to continue. Wondering what half-truths he was going to spout next to try and comfort her. She wasn't going to fall for them so easily.
"I'm…I'm afraid."
"Afraid? Afraid of what? Afraid of getting close to someone? Afraid of letting them in?" She stormed throwing her hands out on each thought nearly knocking one of them from the tree.
"Yes."
Sango stopped and turned to face him of her own free will for the first time all day. "Houshi-sama?"
Miroku took a deep breath. "When I was a little boy I swore to myself that I would never get married, and I'd never have my own children, and I'd never get attached to anyone."
Sango raised an eyebrow. 'Never have children?'
"Let me finish. When I was about six, my father died right before my eyes. The winds picked up, there was a flash of light in the distance, and it was all Mushin could do to keep me back. Do you remember the crater at the jiin when you all came to find me?"
"The one you were sitting in? With the memorial stone?"
Miroku nodded, "As the kaazana tore him apart, sucking him into oblivion it took a section of earth with him. When the wind ceased, before the pains began shooting through my arm I went into this open pit in search of my father. And I found nothing. Nothing to burn, nothing to bury, nothing to mourn. My father disappeared from this earth and the only things he left behind were a hole void of life and growth and void that would grow to my death." Miroku couldn't help but stare at his right palm. When he looked up Sango placed a thumb to his face. She wiped away a tear. He hadn't even realized that he'd been crying. "I swore then and there that I didn't want anyone to have to live through that pain and torture of watching their loved ones disintegrate. I promised that I wouldn't have a family to leave behind."
"It's too late for that?" she said softly. "You've already become attached; we've already become a family. There is no going back now. I'll be there when you die, wife or not. And I will mourn, because there's more to you than just this," she said taking his hand and touching his cheek. "There's also the part of you that lives here," she said taking her hand from his and placing it over her heart. Miroku made a move to follow and she instinctively slapped his hand down. "And in Kirara, Kagome, Shippou, and even Inu-yasha."
"True." He clasped her hands in his and looked into her eyes, "but Sango, why would you want to be my wife. You know me, and I don't want to see you hurt if at sometime I can't control my actions."
"I know, and I didn't ask to be your wife…"
"Then why do this? Why can't we just pretend it didn't happen? They were just words. Words that we can't even remember."
"Houshi-sama. They're words with meaning and purpose. Besides, there was more than just words."
"Oh that…"
"It may not mean anything to you, but where I come from people don't just do that. I was mortified this morning thinking that I had failed my family somehow. Failed my mother. Failed myself. But while I was sitting here thinking of how absolutely doomed I was to be married to something so wretched as you I couldn't help but think, 'Well at least I did something right.' So what if I didn't marry the man of my dreams…"
"Actually you did," he corrected.
"If I didn't get the ceremony I've been dreaming of since I was a girl…"
"How do you know? Shippou did say it was beautiful."
"If my family wasn't there to be a part of it…"
He opened his mouth to retort again, but, honestly, what could he say to that.
"At least I had done one thing properly. One thing that I didn't have to be ashamed of. One time that I could tell my mother that I actually complied to her wishes."
"It means that much to you? To have been married first."
Sango nodded. "Actually it meant that much to my mother, and I've failed her on just about every other aspect of what it means to be a girl."
Miroku couldn't help but smile. "But why would anyone want to marry some prissy, worthless girl, when they could have you?"
"Flattery, Houshi-sama, won't get you completely out of the woods."
"But it helps?"
"It helps."
"Can we get out of this tree before it breaks and we both end up in the water?"
A few minutes later the couple reentered their room. Miroku went to rolling up the futon and the bed sheets while Sango went to the fusuma and slid it back enough to permit Kirara—who had been pawing at it—and Shippou back in.
The four sat on the floor to try and sort things out. Miroku and Sango had their backs to the shoji and sitting a few feet apart watched Shippou pace back and forth before them. Kirara was nestled snugly in Sango's lap.
Something had been troubling Shippou all morning, "I don't get it. Rika said that you're forced to marry the one who you would be most unhappy to be married to, right?"
"…right," Miroku baited him on.
"So then why aren't you married to Rika right now?"
Miroku and Sango cast each other an uneasy glance.
Shippou continued, "Don't get me wrong, I know you two don't see eye to eye most of the time. And you've been fighting like a married couple since we got here,"
"We have not!"
"Shh…Sango control yourself. I think Shippou has a point. You said I was possessed first and that it passed Rika over. If it were truly a methodical curse we wouldn't be married right now," he said looking at her.
"Okay. So it's not a methodical curse," Sango replied getting frustrated with this lack of knowledge. "Wait…" 'does that mean that you…you…' Sango stared at the man next to her.
Miroku broke eye contact first. "Okay Shippou, you're the brains behind this operation, if it's not a curse what is it?"
"Well it's not completely random. I mean the people we met yesterday all had tales of not being able to marry the one they truly loved," Sango added as Shippou paced trying to piece things together.
"So then perhaps instead of a curse set in stone, one person in the village is cursing each couple in turn," he finally concluded.
"Someone like who, though? We've met just about everyone in the village and they all seem to be in the same boat," Miroku said doubtfully.
Shippou frowned, "Everyone except Rika."
"Wait. You think Rika is the one behind this?" Sango questioned.
"But…she's probably the one who has suffered the most. I mean she doesn't want to be a miko and yet she's training to be one, she couldn't have set herself up to be alone for the rest of her life on purpose. Trust me, I don't think that's her style."
Sango glared at Miroku as he concluded thinking, 'And just how would you know what her style is?'
"Well actually…what if what she wanted…or should I say who she wanted was Haruko. You guys might not have been fully conscious when we discussed his family heritage. In the original curse that passed through the town decades ago, the first child born in the generation came from the couple the visiting miko helped marry. That child was Haruko's father, and as such their family became noted as a very important family. Haruko being the first-born male and hand chosen by the samurai to join their ranks makes him the most desired mate. Mari was crying because her chance with him was lost. I bet many of the girls share Mari's feelings. I bet Rika felt the same way too, and concocted this whole scheme to trick the people into being married off miserably so that when he returned she'd be the only one left."
"I still think this is absurd, but why would she make them all miserable, why not just marry them off quickly to whomever they were most compatible with?"
"Because… by causing another bout of curses and Haruko and her "breaking" the curse it'll make their family standing even greater." Shippou said pleased with his investigation skills.
Miroku continued to frown and looked over at Sango who was sharing his expression. Something about what Shippou was saying just didn't feel right.
"Okay," Sango said, "How did she do it?"
"Black magic?" Shippou suggested.
Sango shook her head, "She isn't giving off any sort of vibes that would suggest that she knows any kind of magic, let alone black."
"Maybe it's not natural magical. Maybe she came across some script in the shrine and is using her herbal training to create this dark curse."
"Shippou!" Miroku and Sango both stared at him, "you are going overboard with this. Besides, the weddings were happening before she started her miko training," Miroku concluded.
"Okay. So if it's not Rika, who is it?" Shippou pouted crossing his arms and sitting back down.
No one had a better answer at that moment.
"Okay… but what I want to know is why I can't remember anything," Sango said looking and Shippou and then the houshi.
"I don't remember anything either, you know."
"Yes, but Houshi-sama, what I want to remember and what you want to remember are two completely different events." Her glare pierced his innermost being and he recoiled because he knew there was no escaping when she was beyond anger like this. That gaze that sent chills down his spine and made him afraid to even look at her wrong let alone touch her.
"Guys… not now… we need to focus," Shippou said walking between them shaking his head. He'd seen that look on her face before and he knew that if he didn't break this up now they'd never get back on track before Inu-yasha and Kagome came back. No, if he let this continue, Inu-yasha and Kagome would have been back so long that they would have tracked the others down which would only have made matters worse if this curse wasn't broken by then.
Miroku sighed relieved for the interruption, "The guy in the market said that our memories will return in time." Miroku paused and looked up, "Maybe there's a clue buried in our memories."
Shippou about jumped with excitement, "If you focus I bet you can recall the memories now."
Sango and Miroku sat against the walls on opposite sides of the room trying to collect their memories for the next half an hour. Sango dropped her shoulders and sighed. Frustrated she clenched her fists opening her eyes she spoke, "This is futile. I'm not getting anywhere." Looking across the way she saw Miroku peacefully sitting with his eyes closed and a big grin plastered on his face. "Houshi-sama, has anything come back to you?"
He didn't respond.
"Houshi-sama!"
"Hm?" he said acknowledging her without opening his eyes.
Sango took a deep breath, "what do you see?"
"Uh…" Miroku hesitated to respond.
"I told you what I wanted to remember and what he wanted to remember were two completely different things," she grumbled to herself, "Houshi-sama do you see anything unusual?"
"Other than this memory being from a third person point of view…"
"Wait what do you mean?" Shippou asked.
"I mean…I'm watching the glorious event from the sidelines not from my own eyes."
Sango sat down in front of him placing her hands on his knees, "If our memories are from outside of our body, is it possible we were possessed by something?"
Shippou wrinkled up his nose as if to point something Sango had overlooked out.
"I mean other than magical herbs and spells…" she cut Shippou off before he could question.
Shippou paused a moment to think, Miroku continued to focus on his memories, and Sango sat waiting for a response impatiently. She glanced briefly at Kirara who on cue edged her way forward ready to pounce if needed. Shippou broke the silence, "a spiritual possession. Yes that would make sense, but what were you possessed by?"
"Houshi-sama?" Sango asked directing the question to him.
When he didn't respond she made a nod of her head and Kirara leapt on him threatening to bite. Miroku opened his eyes and looked at Sango over the still, small firecat, "some kind of animals. It's completely primal, we definitely weren't possessed by humans."
Sango shuddered a little at the implication of what he'd just seen. "Animals? Why? I mean, what kind of animals just possess people for fun?" They both turned to look at Shippou.
Shippou folded his arms, "There is no way a kistune is responsible for this."
"Oh and why is that?" Miroku asked clearly amused by Shippou's insulted expression.
"Well for one thing, you'd be able to remember everything clearly." When he saw that this wasn't enough to appease them he continued.
"Most kistunes who do these kind of practical jokes are males who possess pretty girls." Shippou paused not making eye contact with them, "if what Miroku saw was true these were not two kistunes…the females don't play practical jokes."
Realization of Shippou's words could be seen across their faces clearly as they turned away from him. "So…" Sango thought, "why are there animals trying to curse the village?"
Miroku sat up. "What if they're angry because the people of the village wronged them somehow? The question is how?"
"And I'll bet anything that the answer is in the ceremony itself," Sango said getting to her feet.
"Anything?" Miroku questioned softly.
Ignoring him she continued, "We need to find the old miko and ask her to tell us the ritual in detail." Before she could finish Shippou was already out the door on his way to the shrine. Sango and Kirara began to follow. At the door Sango paused and looked behind her, Miroku was still sitting on the floor. He had resumed his position of reclining with his eyes closed. "Houshi-sama, are you coming?"
"In a minute. I want to see how this ends."
"Houshi-sama…" Sango glowered walking over to him to smack him. After all, the less of this he sees the better, right?
Sensing her approach he readied himself and placed his hands on either side of her legs twisting her and pulling her off of her feet just enough that she would fall right into his lap. Looking into her eyes he spoke softly, "You know it's not too late to change your mind. That wasn't you, it wasn't even me, we should be able to overlook it—at least this once…" he paused and with the same serious face continued, "if not two or three more times," he smiled.
"Houshi-sama," Sango shot him a death glare, which he ignored.
'She's so cute when she's angry,' he thought leaning in ever so slightly to take advantage of her proximity.
Realizing what he was up to, Sango instinctively tensed. 'But…he is my husband…' she thought unclenching her fist.
"Well this is a first," a dusky female voice said from the doorway. Sango and Miroku both turned to look at the old miko. "I've never walked in on a newly-cursed couple that was actually happy to be together," she rasped, letting out a small chuckle at the embarrassment radiating from their blushing faces. "I was just coming to check on you when I ran into Shippou on the street."
Sango stood and approached the older woman. "Did Shippou, tell you that we'd like you to take us through the original ceremony, as best as you can remember, step by step?"
"That shouldn't be too hard. It's pretty much the same ceremony we used last night."
The miko lead the way back to the old shrine.
As they walked down the street Miroku wondered something, "If you know that the couple doesn't want to be married then why do you marry them?"
"In general or you two specifically?"
"Both," Sango answered for him.
"Over the years, we have learned that it is just easier to comply. Last night in particular, I performed the ceremony for the safety of my village."
"The safety?" they all asked in unison.
The miko stopped in the doorway of the shrine and turned to face them. With a grave expression she spoke, "Bad things happen when the possessed do not get their way. At first it was little things, voices were raised, small objects were broken, families were disgraced by the acts of their unmarried children. As the curse continued the terrible occurrences grew in severity. Houses were burned, fiancés were killed, and shrines were desecrated. If I had let you two go off on your own my entire village could have been destroyed in less than five minutes. The fire cat tried to stop you last night and was unsuccessful, there is no possible way that anyone else would have been able to." Sango and Miroku's eyes lowered from her face as she turned to go in. Letting her words sink in a little Miroku's gaze fell upon his right hand.
Shippou sheepishly turned and said, "I tried not to let her attack you too hard," and then scurried on his way after the old woman.
Miroku's gaze did not waver upon Shippou's speech. A shudder passed through him as he thought of the damage he could have done last night. His thoughts were broken by a slender hand that filled his. Miroku looked up to see Sango standing next to him, "I could have hurt them too, you know," she averted their gazes to her hiraikotsu leaning against the doorframe inside the shrine. "But we didn't. And we'll figure this out so that no one else will be put in that position ever again." Miroku nodded, clasping his hands around hers before letting go and following her inside.
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Author's Dictionary:
Jiin: A Buddhist Temple.
Author's Notes:
It folklore kitsunes are known to be tricksters. They not only shape shift as Shippou does, but they have a tendancy to shape shift into young women. That's why the villagers first thought Kagome might be a kitsune in the anime. One thing most people don't realize is that kitsunes often possess young girls as a way to cause mischief. The girls are like observers in their own body and are conscious of everything as it happens around them, just incapable of breaking free from the kitsunes control. Most kitsunes you will read stories about that do possess or shape shift into young women are males.
I am sooooo sorry that it took so long for me to update. I had the first section written before I even posted the second chapter but it was only three pages long and I wanted more from my chapter but I was having a bad case of writer's block combined with school work, and being cast as the lead in a school play, and… and… thus I practically abandoned my story for a few weeks, gomen! Thought about it but never got around to doing anything with it. This has actually been completed for a little while now…I decided to cut off the following scene that I wrote and break it into two chapters so I can post faster. That and this one was WAFF-y enough for two.
I also want to note that I am truly honored and flattered to have been nominated for Sango-sama's yahoo group's October polls. I honestly didn't know that I had been nominated until Queen told me about it three hours ago during voting…actually it all stemmed from receiving my last two reviews. Hey when the reviews show up in my mailbox I remember that I still have a story to finish… so review often if you think I've forgotten about the fic… or just drop me a line saying, "Yo! Mina wake up! Hurry up and finish writing so that you can post!"
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"A foreboding darkness shall settle upon this village by the rise of the next moon…"
Coming up in Chapter Five: The Cause
"Oh my…" Sango spoke absentmindedly looking over her companion's shoulder. "Houshi-sama, I think I found the…cause."
Turning around Miroku came face to face with a dark shadowy substance that grew before their eyes. Slowly it began to take form. Starting at the ground it formed a pair of huge feet, followed by thick legs, and then a torso and arms and a head… as its shape became clearer Miroku and Sango realized it was nearly 8 feet tall. "I think it's starting to solidify."
"You can say that again, but what is it? Or should I say how many?" she asked as they took a few steps back together to give them fighting room. Before Miroku could respond—before the creature had fully taken form—it lashed one of its clawed arms out and made contact with the houshi. Hitting Miroku square in the chest, it sent the pair flying…