Dessie: Ee! Lots of reviews! Really appreciated, everyone!
PS. There's been a cast addition. Fiezhi is now Nono, Ivan's brother.
PPS. Sorry about the Soul Calibur bit... I got a bit carried away.
PPPS. Destinyofthepast does not own Golden Sun but (insert witty comment here)
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Dragoon Knight - Ooo, we're torturing him mentally at the moment. ^_^
SpasticDjinn x2: Since when did Garet have any chance of fame and fortune? Oh no! No0o0o0o0! Not the mineral turpentine! Mm, tastes like chicken!
Lord Slasher: Weird? If you think I'm weird, you obviously haven't ever seen SpasticDjinn!
*_*_*_*_*_*
(Scene - Prison)
Auggie: And this is a picture of me when I was just a tiny tot. It was so cold, wandering around with no undies on. I remember one time when... ISAAC! Are you paying attention? Respect your elders!
Isaac: Yes Auggie, I'm paying attention.
Auggie: Good. You young people are always gallivanting off into your own dreamlands, leaving nu mou in suspense while they wait for you to...
Ivan: Isaac, kupo? Professor Auggie, kupo?
Isaac: ::mouths:: Get me out of here!
Ivan: What was that Isaac? Get me out of here, kupo?
Isaac: -___-+
Auggie: You don't want to hear about my childhood? Now I'm hurt. ::cries::
Isaac: Just what we need Ivan. An emotionally disturbed nu mou.
Ivan: He didn't mean it, kupo.
Auggie: Really?
Ivan: Uh yeah... he's just...
Isaac: ::pretends to gape for air::
Ivan: Oh! He's just dying, kupo.
Isaac: -___-+
Auggie: Really? We better get him to hospital!
Isaac: ::pretends to sniff something and fall over::
Ivan: Then again, it could be his allergy to cheese, kupo.
Auggie: Allergy to cheese?
Ivan: Yes, it makes him very agitated and rude, kupo.
Auggie: But where was that cheese?
Ivan: Uh... there was a speck of it in one of the photos you showed him, kupo.
Auggie: Oh, that's understandable then.
Guard: Mystery soup. Dinnertime. Eat it, Auggie, Isaac.
Isaac: ::eats:: Oh, it's very nice. What's it made out of?
Guard: Cheese.
Isaac: Oh...
Auggie: Well, I don't care what you think. I'm continuing with the story. There was this one time when my mum took me to Aisenfield, and there was a big bunch of woods...
Guard: Oh yeah, Isaac! Everyone's about to torture Alex again...
Auggie: QUIETEN! Don't be rude!
Isaac: Um... Where's Alex?
Guard: ::holds up a glass bottle with eyes and dismembered body parts::
Isaac: ::stifling laughter:: Alex? Is that you?
*_*_*_*_*
It is a cold, cold, cold day. A man with cerulean blue hair and a powerful smirk stands in the middle of a bland circular room. The floor and walls are there, but the roof is absent. There are no doors, and unless you could jump 5 metres, there was no way out. The lonely breeze wafts through and waves his hair around behind him. A cloud passes over the sun, blocking out the only source of light. And then suddenly, a ring of fire appears above his hair. And from the blaze emerges...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Ooo0o0o! Let me guess!
Alex: Quiet! I'm telling the story!
Isaac: How can you talk? You're a dismembered body part!
*_*_*_*_*_*
And from the blazes emerges what looks like a machine. It may be a machine, or it may be human. It may be neither. It, or he, or she, is wearing a purple wizard like hat, his buttoned clothes, a one-piece suit, are also purple. Where his bone joints should be are wheels. His mouth is sealed with metal, yet he can talk.
"I shall assist your suicide!" he says, drawing his katana from behind his back, behind a tall flag of some sort. His voice echoes around the room and pierces his ears. The first man, whom will be from now to as Alex, stands stationary and draws his sword as well. His hair shines and shimmers, even though the sun is still blocked out.
And then the machine disappears into the air. Well, he hasn't really disappear. He is completely visible, but wrapped in a ring of fire. It is spinning towards Alex, the light from the fire illuminating the room once more. He is about to come down, slicing him with his katana as he did so. But Alex stealthily rolls out of the way, his hair scarring itself on the ground, turning black as he did so. And now the machine was aggravated. Alex feels a powerful attack coming on... and he could do nothing! He was lying on the ground, completely vulnerable. The machine turns away from him. He was foolishly waving his katana around in the air, and was bringing it towards himself! What was he doing? And then a sickening sound of crunching is heard. The machine had used his most powerful attack! But it has missed, and hit himself. That was intentional, but he had missed Alex along with him. With a small smile, he tosses his hair back behind him. That was too easy. The machine lets out another piercing shriek.
"Unexpected!" he says, then shuts his cold metal eyes. Alex lest his hair fall back into his face. He had won, for now.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: And that's how you got turned into mush?
Alex: Shush! I'm not done!
*_*_*_*_*
Just after the machine had said this and passed away, a green-clad figure jumps into the fray. Alex grunts and runs a hand through his smooth hair.
"There must be steps on the other side." He thinks, putting his sword back in an attack position. Unlike the other, the green-clad warrior simply draws his sword and lets out a cry. Everything about him was green, his hood, his tunic, and his boots. Well, not really his boots. And his hair, oh my god, he let it under a hood! That can give you like, total hat hair. I prefer to keep my hair flowing by itself and I take care of it. And I never use tubs of gel like those idiots Isaac and Garet! I mean, do they order it straight from he company because it seems like they use enough to use half the company's produce! I hear that stuff gives you permanent spilt ends, and don't even get me started...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Get on with the battle with Link!
*_*_*_*_*
And blond? Oh my god, blond? Blonds are supposed to be such idiots and their hair is just so... yellow! If I had yellow hair, I don't know what I'd do! Well actually, I'd probably dye it blue...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Get on with the battle!
Alex: Oh, right. Sorry.
*_*_*_*_*
The green man's first move is to pull out his bow. This wasn't good. The only far-range attack Alex knows is Froth Sphere, and he was under strict order to not use psynergy. It didn't matter. There were obviously going to be plenty of battles, he might as well use them to train his psynergy. He raises his hands into the air and large bubbles shoot out of it and surround Link. A few seconds later the bubbles subside. Alex smirks, but then to his horror discovers that he was unscathed. He curses himself for being so careless. There was something protecting Link from psynergy, so he couldn't use it on opponents. Link pulls the bow back and shoots an arrow through the air towards Alex. Well, if his psynergy couldn't attack then maybe it could defend. A wall of water shoots up as well, and a few seconds later he discovered he was wrong. The arrow shoots right through the wall and into Alex's shoulder. He winces in pain and pulls it out, chucking it onto ground in front of him. Blood starts to spill out of wound, staining his shirt and his bright blue hair. Immediately, he attempts to wrench out the red stain, but the forest boy was charging for him with his sword. He quickly flies out of the way and casst Ply on himself. To his surprise, a pain shot through his body, sending him crashing to the floor. Cursed writer, he thinks, he reversed all my psynergy.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Real smart Alex, it kills twice but third time lucky.
Alex: Silence!
*_*_*_*_*
Getting up, he grabs his sword off the ground next to him. He can see black spots around his eyes and he feels giddy, the room starting to spin around him. Then there is nothing. Nothing except the sound of sword on sword, metal on metal, blade on blade. Eventually, Alex prevails and Link spirals to the ground. Alex breathed in sharply and continues to wrench out red gunk out of his hair, then flicked it back. There were more battles to come. There would be three in total, that was traditional, except for the final boss, there were always two there. Zelda, Metroid, Golden Sun, Barney's magical adventure... wait, scratch the last one. Anyway. The last of the cast was a young man who bore a long rod, and wore a shirt that was sleeveless and only managed to cover half of his chest but ran down to his legs. His trousers were long and loose, and a dark shade of marron. He uses his rod to pole vault over the wall to you.
"Is there no other way?" he calls out to him. Alex breathes in sharply again, more long-range weapons. However, this warrior only seems to know one move. At the start of the battle, he pokes you in the stomach with his rod and continues to do so for a while. It didn't hurt at all, but it was annoying. When he was approached, he found out he was wrong. Before he could stop him, the man with the rod was tap dancing on his head, occasionally whacking him in the backside with his rod. Now that was the painful bit, but before long, Alex has shaken him off and thrown him onto the floor. He quickly draws his sword and holds it to his opponent's neck, which is lying on the ground attached to the rest of his body.
"Give up or die." Alex laughs, flicking around his hair tauntingly, then letting it fall to his side. Before he could say anything else, the man with the rod was pole-vaulting up the wall. Alex sighes. "That was easy." He comments. But he was wrong.
*_*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Ok, you've said: "But he was wrong" at least 5 times.
Alex: Shuddup! I'm almost done!
*_*_*_*_*_*
Just when he thought it was all over, a red figure jumps into the arena. It seems to be fluffy, and what looked like a furry stick was sticking up out of his head. A square on its stomach glowed blue, then green, then red, then blue again. Alex almost pulls out his hair in realisation. It was a teletubby!
Lets just say that 5 minutes later, Alex was transferred to a mental hospital in Izumo, where he was cut up into little pieces to be examined. Due to his polite request though, they preserved his great hair.
The guys from the prison brought him back here in a glass bottle...
*_*_*_*_*_*
Alex: And that's it!
Isaac: My god, you really do care about your hair.
Alex: So?
Isaac: No, man, you are obsessed.
Guard: Well, what's today's punishment to be?
Auggie: ... And that's why my great aunt's name is Marcus. Hey! Were you guys listening?
Ivan: ::grins evilly::
Together: LOCK HIM IN THE CELL WITH AUGGIE!
Auggie: Yay! Another person to talk to!
Alex: ::groans::
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Mission 24 - Village hunt - Participants wanted for a survey of the Eluut Sands. We will cross antlion nests to find a legendary moogle's hidden village. -Barba, Junior Researcher
Ivan: We're going on a bear hunt!
Clan: We're going on a bear hunt!
Ivan: We're going to catch a big one!
Clan: We're going to catch a big one!
Ivan: We're not scared!
Clan: We're not scared!
Ivan: What a beautiful...
Isaac: Please don't do that.
Ivan: ::observes Isaac:: Whatever are you wearing, kupo?
Isaac: My soldier's costume. What else?
Ivan: We're going on a bear hunt, kupo!
Isaac: Yes, yes, I know, we're going to catch a big one.
Ivan: No, I mean, don't you think you should put a hunter's costume, kupo?
Isaac: Never occurred to me. I can't be bothered.
Ivan: Come on Isaac! Be involved in today's society! I mean, there are... bad things today because of people like you, kupopo!
Isaac: ... and this is just because I won't put on a hunters costume.
Ivan: ::considers:: Yes, kupo.
Clan: ::shake their heads and tut::
Ivan: ::starts casting Thundaga::
Clan: O_O ::nod frantically::
Isaac: There is no way I am getting into a hunter's costume. It makes me look like a girl!
Ivan: So does the soldier costume, kupo.
Isaac: Quiet!
Ivan: Do or die, kupo!
Isaac: Ok... whatever. Just don't use weird catchphrases. ::emerges in a hunter costume::
Ivan: Much better! Don't you think so, Isaac, kupo?
Isaac: Whatever. Now, how do you work this bow thing?
Ivan: You'll automatically know, kupo.
Isaac: ::blinks in oblivion:: Hey! You're right! I know what to do!
Ivan: Great! Now, let's go cross nests with the antlions, kupo!
Beltran: ::dispatches all the monsters:: I found them!
*_*_*_*
Mission 25 - Duelling sub - I've been challenged to a duel, but I'm scared. Will you go in my place? Just pretend to be me, OK? -Viscount Gatt - Dispatch - Oskar
Mission 26 - Goblin town - A goblin stole my favourite monster guide and buried it under a rock! I'll give you a copy if you get mine back for me! -Ian, Inquisitive Youth - Dispatch -Theodore
Mission 27 - Castle sit-in - A group of youths are protesting the capture of their friends at a castle in the south. Talk sense into them! -Hansrich, Security Chief -Dispatch -Diesel
Mission 28 - Lost heirloom - Please retrieve Estel's heirloom from the HQ of the greedy "Neighbour" merchant network! Justice must be done! -Fago, Ally of Justice -Dispatch -Rain
Mission 29 - No scents - Tonight's the night of my big date, and my dress and shoes are perfect, but I can't find my perfume anywhere! Help! -Lucy, Party Girl -Dispatch -Aurelie
Mission 30 - A lost ring - I dropped my ring in the Ulei River! It was a gift from my beau. Please find it before he finds out I lost it! -Clea, the Ice Cream Man's Girl
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Well, I guess I better change back into my soldier costume. Wait, what's this costume? ::holds out a paladin costume::
Ivan: Uh... it's a paladin costume. It says so in the script, kupo!
Isaac: Right... but why is it here?
Dessie: ::backstage:: You mastered two Soldier moves, First Aid, when you ran to help Mia, and Mind break, because I think you lost your mind by chapter 3.
Isaac: You mean the Latin junk?
Dessie: Yes... the Latin junk.
Isaac: Cool! Can I wear it?
Dessie: That's what it's there for.
Isaac: Great! Now, where is that ring we're supposed to find?
Ivan: I see something gleaming in the river over there, kupo!
Isaac: Well, we'll just have to wade in and get it.
Ivan: Wait, your costume...
Isaac: Ivan, there isn't such a job as "Swimmer"
Ivan: Yes, but...
Isaac: Why are you so worried about nothing all the time?
Ivan: Because-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan, I'll go get the ring.
Ivan: But your outfit-
Isaac: So what if it gets wet?
Ivan: No, I mean it will-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan or I'll tie you to a tree.
Ivan: BUT ISAAC!
Isaac: You asked for it! ::ties Ivan to the nearest tree:: Now, lets go get that ring! Beltran, Brean, you help!
All: ::s(s)tep into the water::
Beltran: Eeh... we're sinking.
Brean: Our armour iss too heavy!
Ivan: And so is your paladin outfit, Isaac, kupo!
Isaac: Gosh Ivan! Why didn't you WARN us?
Ivan: I WAS TRYING! KUPOPO!
Isaac: I can't move!
Brean: Neither can I!
Beltran: Help us, Ivan!
Ivan: I CAN'T! ISAAC TIED ME TO A TREE!
Brean: You know, if I could lift my sspear, you would be dead right about now, Issaac.
Isaac: You don't say. Now, how do we get up? Ivan? Any ideas?
Ivan: Yes, but my lungs are being crushed by these ropes so I inconveniently can't speak any more, kupo.
Isaac: IVAN! HELP!
Ivan: *cough* *cough* *cough* Isaac! I think I'm dying, kupo!
Garet: ::from backstage:: Nope, you're not allowed.
Ivan: Thanks a lot Garet, kupo.
Garet: ^_^; You're welcome!
Isaac: Garet! Come here!
Garet: Why? Do you have something I can kill?
Isaac: No... but I've got something for you to burn!
Garet: Oh, goodie!
Isaac: You have to burn this water so it evaporates.
Garet: Ok.
Ivan: WAIT! GARET! KUPO!
Isaac: What is it now, Ivan.
Ivan: You're plan's not going to work, it's-
Isaac: Now, what have I told you about being overly worried?
Garet: To eat more sugar!
Isaac: -_-; Not you. Ivan!
Ivan: But-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan.
Ivan: But remember Alex's description of the fight! The battle with-
Isaac: Look, we can do this the easy or the hard way. FELIX!
Felix: What?
Isaac: Tape up Ivan's mouth!
Felix: Ok... ::tapes up Ivan's mouth::
Isaac: Now, what were you saying, Ivan?
Ivan: Mmmpht! Mmpht, kupo!
Garet: I summon the power of Mars to summon fire!
Brean: We could do without the action phrassess, Garet.
Garet: Okey doke. ::casts Fireball on the water::
Isaac: ARGH! IT BURNS!
Garet: It's burning me too! ::runs around screaming::
Sheba: ::walks in on the scene and sees Ivan tied to a tree with his mouth taped shut, Isaac, Beltran and Brean sinking in the half full river, Isaac also screaming and flailing his arms , Garet screaming and running around in circles on fire and Felix standing there with a smirk on his face:: Woah! What happened here?
All: IT WAS IVAN'S FAULT!
Ivan: Mmpht, kupo?
Sheba: I somewhat doubt that. ::reads Ivan's mind::
Isaac: Well?
Sheba: He thinks he was trying to warn you that your psynergy was going to backfire and that your paladin suit would sink.
Isaac: Didn't I mention that? ^^;
Sheba: No.
::It suddenly starts to rain. The river is filled to the top again, then it stops::
Felix: Eh... what was that?
Mia: ::from above:: HI GUYS!
Isaac: Hey! You wrecked our chance to get out.
Piers: So? We were paid.
Mia: But since you're my Isaac-chan, I'll cast parch on it for you.
All: No0o0o0o0o0o0!
::Colour drains out of Mia's face. She falls down into the river. Isaac throws her onto dry land::
Isaac: Now what do we do?
Sheba: Well, maybe if you hadn't used your rope to tie up Ivan, then you could throw the rope to us and we could pull you out.
Isaac: Good point.
Felix: Don't worry... I'll untie him.
All: Yay!
Felix: For a price.
All: ::groan::
Sheba: I'll do it for free! ::pulls on the ropes::
All: ::silent::
Brean: Eh... nothing happened.
Beltran: ::gasp:: I'm starting ::cough:: to swallow ::splutter:: water! ::spit:: HELP!
Felix: My price is... 100, 000 gil.
Isaac: I left every bit of my money in my soldiers suit!
Felix: Really... exactly where is your wardrobe?
Isaac: It's two doors down from yours... why?
::Felix runs off and two minutes later emerges with an overflowing bag of money::
Felix: Neneneneneeneeer!
Isaac: GIVE THAT BACK!
Garet: Hey! Nobody steals money from my best friend...
Isaac: Whew, thanks Garet.
Garet: Except me! ::takes the bag and runs off laughing manically::
Felix: Hey! Come back! ::chases after him::
Sheba: You know, if you hadn't tied up Ivan, he could've used Firaga for you.
Isaac: OK WE GET IT SHEBA!
Sheba: Just saying.
Brean: Do you usse any fire moves?
Sheba: Nope. I am a sniper. I could get Ritz to drop by and perform fire whip for you... but I can't be bothered.
Beltran: Well then... could you toss me and Brean a vine or something? We didn't have anything to do with tieing up Montblanc.
Sheba: Ok. ::tosses vine for Beltran and Brean::
Both: Thanks! ::untie Ivan::
Ivan: ::casts Firaga, making sure that he hits Isaac as well as dissolving the water::
Sheba: You deserved that, Isaac.
Isaac: Whatever. Now we just need to get that ring...
Ivan: The ring was lying next to me the whole time, kupo.
Isaac: GOSH, WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!!?!?
Ivan: ...don't make me hurt you, kupo.
*_*_*_*_*_*
Mission 31 - A challenge - Yo, Clan Festinate. You're quite popular lately. There's still time for you to join us at Clan Baham... or else! -Mintz, Deputy Clan Boss
*_*_*_*
Random guy: Want to join Clan Baham?
Isaac: No.
Random guy; Ok. ::walks off::
Isaac: What a stupid mission.
*_*_*_*_*
Mission 32 - S.O.S - Emergency flares in the pattern green-red-green were spotted over the Koringwood. Clan Ritz is in trouble! Please assist. -Clan Center
*_*_*_*_*
Jenna: Sheba, this was all your fault.
Sheba: My fault?
Jenna: Yes, it's your fault. Why couldn't Isaac be Shara?
Sheba: Because he's a guy? Viera are girls?
Jenna: Doesn't matter. This is still your fault.
Sheba: My fault? It's Garet's fault! When I told him to put up an S.O.S at the inn... he probably put up a mission called "Sales on sandwiches!"
Jenna: Are you saying Garet is dumb?
Sheba: Yes... that's exactly what I'm saying.
Jenna: Oh. Well, you're right.
Sheba: Hey look! It's Ivan! Our message got through!
Isaac: Hey guys! Where are the sandwiches?
Jenna: Err... exactly what mission did you receive?
*_*_*_*
Mission 32 - sails on samdwices - clan rits telled I to right So's on the mission bored. so, i righting sos on da message bored I dunno what it stnds 4 but I think Immeans sails on samdwices so thats what am righting jenna said she wood burn me if I didnt + she says | onle think of my stoomak I think shes wiered but she makes me fell wiered inside two. -Jahreet
*_*_*_*
Isaac: And we sort of guessed that "Jahreet" wrote it.
Jenna: Right... well, can you help us kill these monsters?
Isaac: Sure.
Beltran: ::dispatches all the monsters::
Jenna: Great! So, see you guys later!
Isaac: Bye!
*_*_*_*_*
Dessie: Hope you guys liked it!
| Please
| Read
| And
V Review!
PS. There's been a cast addition. Fiezhi is now Nono, Ivan's brother.
PPS. Sorry about the Soul Calibur bit... I got a bit carried away.
PPPS. Destinyofthepast does not own Golden Sun but (insert witty comment here)
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Dragoon Knight - Ooo, we're torturing him mentally at the moment. ^_^
SpasticDjinn x2: Since when did Garet have any chance of fame and fortune? Oh no! No0o0o0o0! Not the mineral turpentine! Mm, tastes like chicken!
Lord Slasher: Weird? If you think I'm weird, you obviously haven't ever seen SpasticDjinn!
*_*_*_*_*_*
(Scene - Prison)
Auggie: And this is a picture of me when I was just a tiny tot. It was so cold, wandering around with no undies on. I remember one time when... ISAAC! Are you paying attention? Respect your elders!
Isaac: Yes Auggie, I'm paying attention.
Auggie: Good. You young people are always gallivanting off into your own dreamlands, leaving nu mou in suspense while they wait for you to...
Ivan: Isaac, kupo? Professor Auggie, kupo?
Isaac: ::mouths:: Get me out of here!
Ivan: What was that Isaac? Get me out of here, kupo?
Isaac: -___-+
Auggie: You don't want to hear about my childhood? Now I'm hurt. ::cries::
Isaac: Just what we need Ivan. An emotionally disturbed nu mou.
Ivan: He didn't mean it, kupo.
Auggie: Really?
Ivan: Uh yeah... he's just...
Isaac: ::pretends to gape for air::
Ivan: Oh! He's just dying, kupo.
Isaac: -___-+
Auggie: Really? We better get him to hospital!
Isaac: ::pretends to sniff something and fall over::
Ivan: Then again, it could be his allergy to cheese, kupo.
Auggie: Allergy to cheese?
Ivan: Yes, it makes him very agitated and rude, kupo.
Auggie: But where was that cheese?
Ivan: Uh... there was a speck of it in one of the photos you showed him, kupo.
Auggie: Oh, that's understandable then.
Guard: Mystery soup. Dinnertime. Eat it, Auggie, Isaac.
Isaac: ::eats:: Oh, it's very nice. What's it made out of?
Guard: Cheese.
Isaac: Oh...
Auggie: Well, I don't care what you think. I'm continuing with the story. There was this one time when my mum took me to Aisenfield, and there was a big bunch of woods...
Guard: Oh yeah, Isaac! Everyone's about to torture Alex again...
Auggie: QUIETEN! Don't be rude!
Isaac: Um... Where's Alex?
Guard: ::holds up a glass bottle with eyes and dismembered body parts::
Isaac: ::stifling laughter:: Alex? Is that you?
*_*_*_*_*
It is a cold, cold, cold day. A man with cerulean blue hair and a powerful smirk stands in the middle of a bland circular room. The floor and walls are there, but the roof is absent. There are no doors, and unless you could jump 5 metres, there was no way out. The lonely breeze wafts through and waves his hair around behind him. A cloud passes over the sun, blocking out the only source of light. And then suddenly, a ring of fire appears above his hair. And from the blaze emerges...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Ooo0o0o! Let me guess!
Alex: Quiet! I'm telling the story!
Isaac: How can you talk? You're a dismembered body part!
*_*_*_*_*_*
And from the blazes emerges what looks like a machine. It may be a machine, or it may be human. It may be neither. It, or he, or she, is wearing a purple wizard like hat, his buttoned clothes, a one-piece suit, are also purple. Where his bone joints should be are wheels. His mouth is sealed with metal, yet he can talk.
"I shall assist your suicide!" he says, drawing his katana from behind his back, behind a tall flag of some sort. His voice echoes around the room and pierces his ears. The first man, whom will be from now to as Alex, stands stationary and draws his sword as well. His hair shines and shimmers, even though the sun is still blocked out.
And then the machine disappears into the air. Well, he hasn't really disappear. He is completely visible, but wrapped in a ring of fire. It is spinning towards Alex, the light from the fire illuminating the room once more. He is about to come down, slicing him with his katana as he did so. But Alex stealthily rolls out of the way, his hair scarring itself on the ground, turning black as he did so. And now the machine was aggravated. Alex feels a powerful attack coming on... and he could do nothing! He was lying on the ground, completely vulnerable. The machine turns away from him. He was foolishly waving his katana around in the air, and was bringing it towards himself! What was he doing? And then a sickening sound of crunching is heard. The machine had used his most powerful attack! But it has missed, and hit himself. That was intentional, but he had missed Alex along with him. With a small smile, he tosses his hair back behind him. That was too easy. The machine lets out another piercing shriek.
"Unexpected!" he says, then shuts his cold metal eyes. Alex lest his hair fall back into his face. He had won, for now.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: And that's how you got turned into mush?
Alex: Shush! I'm not done!
*_*_*_*_*
Just after the machine had said this and passed away, a green-clad figure jumps into the fray. Alex grunts and runs a hand through his smooth hair.
"There must be steps on the other side." He thinks, putting his sword back in an attack position. Unlike the other, the green-clad warrior simply draws his sword and lets out a cry. Everything about him was green, his hood, his tunic, and his boots. Well, not really his boots. And his hair, oh my god, he let it under a hood! That can give you like, total hat hair. I prefer to keep my hair flowing by itself and I take care of it. And I never use tubs of gel like those idiots Isaac and Garet! I mean, do they order it straight from he company because it seems like they use enough to use half the company's produce! I hear that stuff gives you permanent spilt ends, and don't even get me started...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Get on with the battle with Link!
*_*_*_*_*
And blond? Oh my god, blond? Blonds are supposed to be such idiots and their hair is just so... yellow! If I had yellow hair, I don't know what I'd do! Well actually, I'd probably dye it blue...
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Get on with the battle!
Alex: Oh, right. Sorry.
*_*_*_*_*
The green man's first move is to pull out his bow. This wasn't good. The only far-range attack Alex knows is Froth Sphere, and he was under strict order to not use psynergy. It didn't matter. There were obviously going to be plenty of battles, he might as well use them to train his psynergy. He raises his hands into the air and large bubbles shoot out of it and surround Link. A few seconds later the bubbles subside. Alex smirks, but then to his horror discovers that he was unscathed. He curses himself for being so careless. There was something protecting Link from psynergy, so he couldn't use it on opponents. Link pulls the bow back and shoots an arrow through the air towards Alex. Well, if his psynergy couldn't attack then maybe it could defend. A wall of water shoots up as well, and a few seconds later he discovered he was wrong. The arrow shoots right through the wall and into Alex's shoulder. He winces in pain and pulls it out, chucking it onto ground in front of him. Blood starts to spill out of wound, staining his shirt and his bright blue hair. Immediately, he attempts to wrench out the red stain, but the forest boy was charging for him with his sword. He quickly flies out of the way and casst Ply on himself. To his surprise, a pain shot through his body, sending him crashing to the floor. Cursed writer, he thinks, he reversed all my psynergy.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Real smart Alex, it kills twice but third time lucky.
Alex: Silence!
*_*_*_*_*
Getting up, he grabs his sword off the ground next to him. He can see black spots around his eyes and he feels giddy, the room starting to spin around him. Then there is nothing. Nothing except the sound of sword on sword, metal on metal, blade on blade. Eventually, Alex prevails and Link spirals to the ground. Alex breathed in sharply and continues to wrench out red gunk out of his hair, then flicked it back. There were more battles to come. There would be three in total, that was traditional, except for the final boss, there were always two there. Zelda, Metroid, Golden Sun, Barney's magical adventure... wait, scratch the last one. Anyway. The last of the cast was a young man who bore a long rod, and wore a shirt that was sleeveless and only managed to cover half of his chest but ran down to his legs. His trousers were long and loose, and a dark shade of marron. He uses his rod to pole vault over the wall to you.
"Is there no other way?" he calls out to him. Alex breathes in sharply again, more long-range weapons. However, this warrior only seems to know one move. At the start of the battle, he pokes you in the stomach with his rod and continues to do so for a while. It didn't hurt at all, but it was annoying. When he was approached, he found out he was wrong. Before he could stop him, the man with the rod was tap dancing on his head, occasionally whacking him in the backside with his rod. Now that was the painful bit, but before long, Alex has shaken him off and thrown him onto the floor. He quickly draws his sword and holds it to his opponent's neck, which is lying on the ground attached to the rest of his body.
"Give up or die." Alex laughs, flicking around his hair tauntingly, then letting it fall to his side. Before he could say anything else, the man with the rod was pole-vaulting up the wall. Alex sighes. "That was easy." He comments. But he was wrong.
*_*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Ok, you've said: "But he was wrong" at least 5 times.
Alex: Shuddup! I'm almost done!
*_*_*_*_*_*
Just when he thought it was all over, a red figure jumps into the arena. It seems to be fluffy, and what looked like a furry stick was sticking up out of his head. A square on its stomach glowed blue, then green, then red, then blue again. Alex almost pulls out his hair in realisation. It was a teletubby!
Lets just say that 5 minutes later, Alex was transferred to a mental hospital in Izumo, where he was cut up into little pieces to be examined. Due to his polite request though, they preserved his great hair.
The guys from the prison brought him back here in a glass bottle...
*_*_*_*_*_*
Alex: And that's it!
Isaac: My god, you really do care about your hair.
Alex: So?
Isaac: No, man, you are obsessed.
Guard: Well, what's today's punishment to be?
Auggie: ... And that's why my great aunt's name is Marcus. Hey! Were you guys listening?
Ivan: ::grins evilly::
Together: LOCK HIM IN THE CELL WITH AUGGIE!
Auggie: Yay! Another person to talk to!
Alex: ::groans::
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
Mission 24 - Village hunt - Participants wanted for a survey of the Eluut Sands. We will cross antlion nests to find a legendary moogle's hidden village. -Barba, Junior Researcher
Ivan: We're going on a bear hunt!
Clan: We're going on a bear hunt!
Ivan: We're going to catch a big one!
Clan: We're going to catch a big one!
Ivan: We're not scared!
Clan: We're not scared!
Ivan: What a beautiful...
Isaac: Please don't do that.
Ivan: ::observes Isaac:: Whatever are you wearing, kupo?
Isaac: My soldier's costume. What else?
Ivan: We're going on a bear hunt, kupo!
Isaac: Yes, yes, I know, we're going to catch a big one.
Ivan: No, I mean, don't you think you should put a hunter's costume, kupo?
Isaac: Never occurred to me. I can't be bothered.
Ivan: Come on Isaac! Be involved in today's society! I mean, there are... bad things today because of people like you, kupopo!
Isaac: ... and this is just because I won't put on a hunters costume.
Ivan: ::considers:: Yes, kupo.
Clan: ::shake their heads and tut::
Ivan: ::starts casting Thundaga::
Clan: O_O ::nod frantically::
Isaac: There is no way I am getting into a hunter's costume. It makes me look like a girl!
Ivan: So does the soldier costume, kupo.
Isaac: Quiet!
Ivan: Do or die, kupo!
Isaac: Ok... whatever. Just don't use weird catchphrases. ::emerges in a hunter costume::
Ivan: Much better! Don't you think so, Isaac, kupo?
Isaac: Whatever. Now, how do you work this bow thing?
Ivan: You'll automatically know, kupo.
Isaac: ::blinks in oblivion:: Hey! You're right! I know what to do!
Ivan: Great! Now, let's go cross nests with the antlions, kupo!
Beltran: ::dispatches all the monsters:: I found them!
*_*_*_*
Mission 25 - Duelling sub - I've been challenged to a duel, but I'm scared. Will you go in my place? Just pretend to be me, OK? -Viscount Gatt - Dispatch - Oskar
Mission 26 - Goblin town - A goblin stole my favourite monster guide and buried it under a rock! I'll give you a copy if you get mine back for me! -Ian, Inquisitive Youth - Dispatch -Theodore
Mission 27 - Castle sit-in - A group of youths are protesting the capture of their friends at a castle in the south. Talk sense into them! -Hansrich, Security Chief -Dispatch -Diesel
Mission 28 - Lost heirloom - Please retrieve Estel's heirloom from the HQ of the greedy "Neighbour" merchant network! Justice must be done! -Fago, Ally of Justice -Dispatch -Rain
Mission 29 - No scents - Tonight's the night of my big date, and my dress and shoes are perfect, but I can't find my perfume anywhere! Help! -Lucy, Party Girl -Dispatch -Aurelie
Mission 30 - A lost ring - I dropped my ring in the Ulei River! It was a gift from my beau. Please find it before he finds out I lost it! -Clea, the Ice Cream Man's Girl
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Well, I guess I better change back into my soldier costume. Wait, what's this costume? ::holds out a paladin costume::
Ivan: Uh... it's a paladin costume. It says so in the script, kupo!
Isaac: Right... but why is it here?
Dessie: ::backstage:: You mastered two Soldier moves, First Aid, when you ran to help Mia, and Mind break, because I think you lost your mind by chapter 3.
Isaac: You mean the Latin junk?
Dessie: Yes... the Latin junk.
Isaac: Cool! Can I wear it?
Dessie: That's what it's there for.
Isaac: Great! Now, where is that ring we're supposed to find?
Ivan: I see something gleaming in the river over there, kupo!
Isaac: Well, we'll just have to wade in and get it.
Ivan: Wait, your costume...
Isaac: Ivan, there isn't such a job as "Swimmer"
Ivan: Yes, but...
Isaac: Why are you so worried about nothing all the time?
Ivan: Because-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan, I'll go get the ring.
Ivan: But your outfit-
Isaac: So what if it gets wet?
Ivan: No, I mean it will-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan or I'll tie you to a tree.
Ivan: BUT ISAAC!
Isaac: You asked for it! ::ties Ivan to the nearest tree:: Now, lets go get that ring! Beltran, Brean, you help!
All: ::s(s)tep into the water::
Beltran: Eeh... we're sinking.
Brean: Our armour iss too heavy!
Ivan: And so is your paladin outfit, Isaac, kupo!
Isaac: Gosh Ivan! Why didn't you WARN us?
Ivan: I WAS TRYING! KUPOPO!
Isaac: I can't move!
Brean: Neither can I!
Beltran: Help us, Ivan!
Ivan: I CAN'T! ISAAC TIED ME TO A TREE!
Brean: You know, if I could lift my sspear, you would be dead right about now, Issaac.
Isaac: You don't say. Now, how do we get up? Ivan? Any ideas?
Ivan: Yes, but my lungs are being crushed by these ropes so I inconveniently can't speak any more, kupo.
Isaac: IVAN! HELP!
Ivan: *cough* *cough* *cough* Isaac! I think I'm dying, kupo!
Garet: ::from backstage:: Nope, you're not allowed.
Ivan: Thanks a lot Garet, kupo.
Garet: ^_^; You're welcome!
Isaac: Garet! Come here!
Garet: Why? Do you have something I can kill?
Isaac: No... but I've got something for you to burn!
Garet: Oh, goodie!
Isaac: You have to burn this water so it evaporates.
Garet: Ok.
Ivan: WAIT! GARET! KUPO!
Isaac: What is it now, Ivan.
Ivan: You're plan's not going to work, it's-
Isaac: Now, what have I told you about being overly worried?
Garet: To eat more sugar!
Isaac: -_-; Not you. Ivan!
Ivan: But-
Isaac: Shut up Ivan.
Ivan: But remember Alex's description of the fight! The battle with-
Isaac: Look, we can do this the easy or the hard way. FELIX!
Felix: What?
Isaac: Tape up Ivan's mouth!
Felix: Ok... ::tapes up Ivan's mouth::
Isaac: Now, what were you saying, Ivan?
Ivan: Mmmpht! Mmpht, kupo!
Garet: I summon the power of Mars to summon fire!
Brean: We could do without the action phrassess, Garet.
Garet: Okey doke. ::casts Fireball on the water::
Isaac: ARGH! IT BURNS!
Garet: It's burning me too! ::runs around screaming::
Sheba: ::walks in on the scene and sees Ivan tied to a tree with his mouth taped shut, Isaac, Beltran and Brean sinking in the half full river, Isaac also screaming and flailing his arms , Garet screaming and running around in circles on fire and Felix standing there with a smirk on his face:: Woah! What happened here?
All: IT WAS IVAN'S FAULT!
Ivan: Mmpht, kupo?
Sheba: I somewhat doubt that. ::reads Ivan's mind::
Isaac: Well?
Sheba: He thinks he was trying to warn you that your psynergy was going to backfire and that your paladin suit would sink.
Isaac: Didn't I mention that? ^^;
Sheba: No.
::It suddenly starts to rain. The river is filled to the top again, then it stops::
Felix: Eh... what was that?
Mia: ::from above:: HI GUYS!
Isaac: Hey! You wrecked our chance to get out.
Piers: So? We were paid.
Mia: But since you're my Isaac-chan, I'll cast parch on it for you.
All: No0o0o0o0o0o0!
::Colour drains out of Mia's face. She falls down into the river. Isaac throws her onto dry land::
Isaac: Now what do we do?
Sheba: Well, maybe if you hadn't used your rope to tie up Ivan, then you could throw the rope to us and we could pull you out.
Isaac: Good point.
Felix: Don't worry... I'll untie him.
All: Yay!
Felix: For a price.
All: ::groan::
Sheba: I'll do it for free! ::pulls on the ropes::
All: ::silent::
Brean: Eh... nothing happened.
Beltran: ::gasp:: I'm starting ::cough:: to swallow ::splutter:: water! ::spit:: HELP!
Felix: My price is... 100, 000 gil.
Isaac: I left every bit of my money in my soldiers suit!
Felix: Really... exactly where is your wardrobe?
Isaac: It's two doors down from yours... why?
::Felix runs off and two minutes later emerges with an overflowing bag of money::
Felix: Neneneneneeneeer!
Isaac: GIVE THAT BACK!
Garet: Hey! Nobody steals money from my best friend...
Isaac: Whew, thanks Garet.
Garet: Except me! ::takes the bag and runs off laughing manically::
Felix: Hey! Come back! ::chases after him::
Sheba: You know, if you hadn't tied up Ivan, he could've used Firaga for you.
Isaac: OK WE GET IT SHEBA!
Sheba: Just saying.
Brean: Do you usse any fire moves?
Sheba: Nope. I am a sniper. I could get Ritz to drop by and perform fire whip for you... but I can't be bothered.
Beltran: Well then... could you toss me and Brean a vine or something? We didn't have anything to do with tieing up Montblanc.
Sheba: Ok. ::tosses vine for Beltran and Brean::
Both: Thanks! ::untie Ivan::
Ivan: ::casts Firaga, making sure that he hits Isaac as well as dissolving the water::
Sheba: You deserved that, Isaac.
Isaac: Whatever. Now we just need to get that ring...
Ivan: The ring was lying next to me the whole time, kupo.
Isaac: GOSH, WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!!?!?
Ivan: ...don't make me hurt you, kupo.
*_*_*_*_*_*
Mission 31 - A challenge - Yo, Clan Festinate. You're quite popular lately. There's still time for you to join us at Clan Baham... or else! -Mintz, Deputy Clan Boss
*_*_*_*
Random guy: Want to join Clan Baham?
Isaac: No.
Random guy; Ok. ::walks off::
Isaac: What a stupid mission.
*_*_*_*_*
Mission 32 - S.O.S - Emergency flares in the pattern green-red-green were spotted over the Koringwood. Clan Ritz is in trouble! Please assist. -Clan Center
*_*_*_*_*
Jenna: Sheba, this was all your fault.
Sheba: My fault?
Jenna: Yes, it's your fault. Why couldn't Isaac be Shara?
Sheba: Because he's a guy? Viera are girls?
Jenna: Doesn't matter. This is still your fault.
Sheba: My fault? It's Garet's fault! When I told him to put up an S.O.S at the inn... he probably put up a mission called "Sales on sandwiches!"
Jenna: Are you saying Garet is dumb?
Sheba: Yes... that's exactly what I'm saying.
Jenna: Oh. Well, you're right.
Sheba: Hey look! It's Ivan! Our message got through!
Isaac: Hey guys! Where are the sandwiches?
Jenna: Err... exactly what mission did you receive?
*_*_*_*
Mission 32 - sails on samdwices - clan rits telled I to right So's on the mission bored. so, i righting sos on da message bored I dunno what it stnds 4 but I think Immeans sails on samdwices so thats what am righting jenna said she wood burn me if I didnt + she says | onle think of my stoomak I think shes wiered but she makes me fell wiered inside two. -Jahreet
*_*_*_*
Isaac: And we sort of guessed that "Jahreet" wrote it.
Jenna: Right... well, can you help us kill these monsters?
Isaac: Sure.
Beltran: ::dispatches all the monsters::
Jenna: Great! So, see you guys later!
Isaac: Bye!
*_*_*_*_*
Dessie: Hope you guys liked it!
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