Several days later, in Mordor, Sauron was reviewing battle plans in his throne room. The general of his evil minions entered and dropped to one knee. Sauron motioned for him to speak.
"My lord, your captive, Mary Sue, is annoying the horde again." he said.
"What now?" Sauron asked.
"She's singing again, my lord. This is the third night in a row that her off pitch voice has kept the dungeon orcs awake. They are getting restless, my lord, and you know the problems we have when the orcs are restless. Also, she won't shut up about the powers of her 'Ring' and keeps trying to escape. We finally had to take it away. She's even tried flirting with the Witch-King!" he replied, keeping his eyes down.
"Are you presuming to instruct me on what I should do in my own castle?" Sauron's voice was soft but deadly as he questioned his general.
"No, my lord, of course not." his servant tried to sink into the floor.
"Very well. I refuse to spend another night telling bedtime stories to insomniac orcs. Since she is so enamored of the Witch King, feed her to his dragon." the Dark Lord waved his minion away.
"Yes, my lord." he replied, and backed out of the throne room, keeping his eyes down and his back to the door until it shut in his face.
An hour later, Mary Sue was thrown to the dragon and balance was restored to Middle Earth, all except for the dragon's indigestion.