Chapter 7 - Famfrit: Lord of teddy bears
Today we have the first totema!
Also, for those who are interested, here is where I plan to the others: Ultima: Lord of two legged turtles - Chapter 10, The A guy: Lord of lizards - Chapter 12, Exodus: Lord of bunny rabbits - Chapter 17, Mateus: Lord of ninjas, well, no - Chapter 23.
These are subject to change! ^_~
Disclaimer - Destinyofthepast does not own Golden Sun or Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
*_*_*_*
XP - I love you too.
Lu Xun 88 - I emailed you about it... And you ignored me! ::cries::
*_*_*_*
Mission 33 - Twisted flow - I've seen the Ulei River bending and warping most strangely, but no on eelse can see anything! Please find out the truth.
-Jura, Time Mage Adept
Isaac: It's quiet.
Ivan: Too... quiet, kupo.
Isaac: I was just saying. I don't need an action phrase to back it up.
Ivan: Sorry, kupo.
Isaac: Hmm... something important is about to happen. I can feel it in my brain!
Ivan: Right, kupo.
Isaac: I think we may be on the verge of discovering something important!
Ivan: Whatever you say, kupo.
Isaac: We should go further into the river! Though I don't see any warping though.
::Demi like sphere appears::
Ivan: Cool! Black orb! LET ME TOUCH IT, KUPO!
Isaac: Come on, let's go!
Guard: Sorry to interrupt you when you're about to discover something really important, but I have something for you!
Isaac: Can it wait?
Guard: I guess... I'll wait here.
Isaac: Great! ::steps into the black sphere with Ivan::
Guard: Woah! Where did they go?
::Demi like sphere grows bigger and engulfs guard::
Guard: ::lands on top of Isaac and Ivan:: Whee! That was fun!
Isaac: What are you doing here?
Guard: I tripped.
Ivan: But we're here on important business, kupo!
Guard: Sorry.
Isaac: Well, you're obviously going to be annoying us for quite some time, so we might as well know your name.
Guard: Uhh... I'm Person1.
Ivan: ::catches sight of crystal:: Ooo0o0o0o! LET ME TOUCH IT, KUPI!
Isaac: Oh... fine.
Ivan: YAY! ::pokes crystal:: OW! An electric shock! ::pokes crystal again:: OW! Another electric shock! ::pokes crystal yet again:: OW! Another...
Famfrit: ::steps out of the crystal:: Please don't do that.
Isaac: Ooo0o0o! Grand entrance!
Famfrit: I mean, SPEAK YOUR NAME, THEE WHO PROFANE LIGHT!
Person1: WOW! Who are you?
Famfrit: I asked first.
Isaac: Err... I'm Mario.
Famfrit: SPEAK THE TRUTH! Mario's that moose dude, right?
Isaac: Wrong. How much time do you spend down here?
Famfrit: More than you could imagine.
Isaac: You know, I bet Ivan could teach you basketball, if you had a very important experiment,
Famfrit: Nice.
Isaac: Now, who are you?
Famfrit: I AM FAMFRIT, GUARDIAN OF THE CRYSTAL, TOTEMA OF THE MECHS, LORD OF TEDDY BEARS!
Isaac: Lord of teddy bears?
Famfrit: Yep.
Isaac: Don't you mean moogles?
Famfrit: Same difference.
Isaac: And what's a crystal?
Famfrit: You know, I'm supposed to be mean to you. I'm supposed to be in big caps lock talking mode.
Isaac: Is that bad?
Famfrit: Yes. That is bad.
Isaac: Whatever.
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: Couldn't you just let us go with a warning? ^^'
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: Couldn't we settle this maturely over a cup of coffee?
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: OK OK! I heard you the first time.
Famfrit: Good. Now, this is the bit where you battle me.
Isaac: Umm... ok... HELP! BELTRAN! BREAN! COME HERE!
*_*_*_*
In the prancing chocobo inn.
Brean: ... Are you ssure we sshould do thiss? I thought Marche had ssomething important for uss to do.
Beltran: Oh, he's been overworking us anyway. ::stares at Brean's glass:: You're drinking cola? You do not drink cola at an inn!
Brean: I'm a templar! A temple knight! Temple knightss do not drink! What did you expect?
Beltran: Hmph. Party pooper. Anyway, we're on strike!
Brean: Why? ::sstares at the greenish goop in Beltran'ss glasss::
Beltran: We're being overworked and underpaid!
Brean: Dude... we get more money than Marche and Montblanc do put together.
Beltran: I thought you were a temple knight! I thought temple knights didn't say "Dude!"
Brean: Oh, sshut up.
Beltran: ^O^ Shut up? What kind of temple knight says "Shut up?"
*_*_*_*
Ivan: Umm... I don't think they're coming, kupo.
Isaac: Hmph. They're not being very helpful.
Person1: I ask again: Woah! What is that thing?
Famfrit: Hey! That's not very nice! ::uses Breath of God::
Isaac: Aw. He died.
Ivan: We'll have to make a memorial service when we're done, kupo.
*_*_*_*
Brean: I am sseriously warning you Beltran!
Beltran: And wassup with the double s? Repeat after me: wassup with the double s?
Brean: ::rolls eyes:: Wasssup with the double ss?
Beltran: Wassup? What kind of temple knight says "Wassup?"
Brean: I didn't say "Wasssup" I said "Wassssup!"
Beltran: You're adding an s everytime you do that.
Brean: Are you assking me to punch your face in?
*_*_*_*
Ivan: Uhh... you're being mean Famfrit! I don't like it when you bully me, kupo!
Famfrit: ::kills Ivan::
Isaac: So much for that line of advertisements.
Famfrit: ::puts on boxing gloves:: Wanna fight, Mario dude?
Isaac; Mario?
Famfrit: That's what you said your name was.
Isaac: Ah yes... I'm Mario. So if you look for me, remember I'm MARIO!
Famfrit: Got it.
Isaac: M - A - R - I - O.
Famfrit: Ok then.
Isaac: With a capital-
Famfit: OK I GET IT!
*_*_*_*
Beltran: Punch my face in? Temple knights don't punch faces in!
Brean: ARGH! I give up! ::ssips drink and ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: Mission succeeded! Ok Brean, you can talk to me again.
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: Didn't you hear me? I said you can talk to me again.
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: ::bats eyelashes, puts hands together and pouts::
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran, trying not to laugh::
Beltran: ARGH! I give up! ::sips drink and ignores Brean::
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Hey, isn't this cage match a little unfair?
Famfrit: What do you mean? It's one on one.
Isaac: Yeah, but if we were in a real cage match, I would be a lightweight and you would be a super-megaweight.
Famfrit: Hey! Are you insulting my weight! I work out as much as one can when trapped in a crystal!
Isaac: Hey, look at that piece of paper on the ground behind you!
Famfrit: I don't know how dumb you think I am, but I'm not that dumb.
Isaac: No really! ::grabs paper::
*_*_*_*
Top ten things to not talk about when trapped in a cell with an aging nu- I am not old With an aging nu mou
How much better your hair is than-
I am not old
Than theirs.
Their childhood.
Your plans to take over the entire-
I am not old
SHUT UP!
Hey, don't talk to me that way!
YOUR PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
He's evil, I tell you!
SHUT UP! I'm trying to write!
Why the world is- Hey, where did you get that pen?
I found it in your box entitled "Mia Shrine"
Oh yeah - Imilshipping
I can't believe you went through my Mia Shrine!
Who's Mia?
Not telling.
Oh, is it that rude whippersnapper's girlfriend?
...I shall just ignore you. Why the world is round.
Being a-
You know, you really hurt my feelings.
Being a-
I am not old
BEING A MUSE!
How much better my life would be if I wasn't doing a FFTA-
I am not old
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Eh? Weren't there 10 things to not talk about?
Famfrit: Yes... but I think the blood splattered all over the page explains it.
Isaac: Oh.
*_*_*_*
Brean: I'm ssorry, Beltran.
Beltran: NOW you're Mr. Temple knight, all polite and weird with armour that is also weird.
Brean: Hey! Are you inssulting my carabini mail?
Beltran: Yes! I am insulting your cranberry mail!
Brean: It'ss carabini mail. ::tosssess some gil to the innkeeper and getss up::
Beltran: I think it's cranberry mail. ::tosses some gil to the innkeeper also and goes out the door::
Brean: You're an idiot. ::followss Beltran::
*_*_*_*
Famfrit: Well, still, you insulted my weight AND my name-
Isaac: No I didn't.
Famfrit: Oh. Then you're the first.
Isaac: You never told me your name.
Famfrit: It's Famfrit.
Isaac: HAHA! FAMFRIT! HAHA!
Famfrit: ::kills Isaac::
::Big letters are plastered across Isaac's head reading Game Over::
Isaac: Owies...
Famfrit: Hey, what's that noise?
Beltran: ::in the distance:: You're an idiot times infinity no returns jinx padlock!
Brean: ::in the distance:: You're an idiot timess infinity plus one no returnss jinx padlock!
Beltran: You're an idiot times infinity plus two no returns jinx padlock!
Brean: You're a sstupid idiot timess infinity plus three no returnss jinx padlock!
Isaac: It's Beltran and Brean!
Famfrit: Oh damn. ::rips the words reading Game Over off Isaac's head::
Isaac: YIKES! That hurt!
Beltran: You're a double stupid idiot times infinity plus- Hey, what's that noise?
Brean: Ssoundss like Marche. He ssoundss in pain.
Beltran: Oh, who cares, we're on strike!
Brean: Grr... ::dragss Beltran into the demi ssphere::
Isaac: Yay! You two came to help me!
Beltran: Actually, he came to help you, he dragged me here.
Isaac: -__-+ Whatever.
Beltran: Woah! What IS-
Isaac: ::shakes head frantically::
Beltran: THAT THING?
Isaac: ::gets up so he can fall over anime style::
Famfrit: Grr... I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL! ::uses Breath of God::
Beltran: ::falls over:: Owies!
Brean: ::ssighss:: Guesss it'ss up to me! ::puncturess Famfrit'ss boxing glovess with the sspear::
Famfrit: Hey! I paid good money for those! ::cries::
Brean: ::whackss in the head with sspear::
Famfrit: ::falls over:: Ok... you guys win.
Isaac: Great! Now, there are some questions I'd like to ask you.
Famfrit: Very well... but the mean lizard has to go first! He hit me!
Brean: LIZARD?
Ivan: CONTROL YOUR ANGER, KUPO!
Brean: o.o Meep. ::goess back through the demi ssphere::
Isaac: Now, what is a crystal?
Famfrit: A crystal is one of the world threads. It binds our world together and holds it in place. Next question.
Isaac: Why do you work so hard to protect it?
Famfrit: ... A crystal is one of the world threads. It binds our world together and holds it in place.
Isaac: Other than that!
Famfrit: Because that is what the teddy bears made me for! Anyway, I've decided to grant you my powers!
Isaac: ::eyes glitter:: You mean Breath of God?
Famfrit: Of course not, that would make the game too easy. Besides, I'm giving my powers to Montblanc, Rain and Theodore!
Isaac: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR! WHY DON'T I GET ANY POWERS?
Famfrit: Because you're not a moogle.
Isaac: Oh. That doesn't make sense.
Famfrit: Don't worry. When you destroy the totema for the humans, you will get your powers.
Isaac: What? You mean there's MORE totema to destroy?
Famfrit: Yes. Five in total.
Isaac: That's not very fair.
Famfrit: Life doesn't tend to be fair. Well, I must be off now. Goodbye. ::explodes::
Isaac: That was... weird.
Felix: ::appears as a shadow::
Isaac: Mewt?
Felix: Stop making me remember! I don't like you!
Isaac: Making you remember? What do you mean?
Felix: ::disappears::
Isaac: That wasn't very informative. Lets go have our memorial service for the guard now.
Person1: ::wakes up:: WOW! That was cool! Can I do that again?
Isaac: Never mind... what were you here for again?
Person1: To give you something Alex wrote.
Isaac: Top ten things to not talk about with aging nu mou?
Person1: Yeah! How did you know?
Isaac: I've got it. Now, the next punishment for Alex is to throw him in a cage with 10 rabid fangirls for 2 days!
Person1: Got it. I'm off now.
::Behind him, the crystal shatters::
Isaac: ...This is getting too weird. Lets go. ::exits via the demi sphere::
*_*_*_*
(Scene - Mewt's bedroom)
Piers: What's wrong Mewt? You look upset!
Felix: Papa! ::leaps into his arms::
Piers; You're rooms a mess! Tidy it up this instant!
Felix: Later, papa.
Piers: HEY! Don't you talk to me that way, son! Now, go to your room!
Felix: Piers... I'm in my room.
Piers: Good! You're already learning obedience! Now, Babus came into my room, blurting out something or other. I didn't listen to any of it, but he sounded quite worried. Is anything wrong?
Felix: Papa, I remembered something horrible!
Piers: Isn't that nice, well, look at the time, I must be off...
Felix: LISTEN! The kids at school were being mean to me, and they were throwing snowballs at me, and one of them had a rock in it!
Piers: Poor you. Well, I've got some important business to attend to so... wait: what are you talking about? You're Prince Mewt!
Felix: Yeah, that's right!
I'm royalty, I'm a prince. Everyone listens to whatever I say. My word is law! This is my country! Nobody picks on me! Oh no, I sound like Isaac...
::Kraden and Mia enter::
Mia: What's wrong, Mewt?
Felix: Mama, the kids at school were being mean to me, and they were throwing snowballs at me, and one of them had a rock in it!
Mia: Aww... poor Mewt. Mommy kiss the booboo better?
Felix: ...Mia.
Mia: Sorry, I got a little bit carried away with my role there.
Piers: You know, Mia, you're son is older than you are! ^_^
Mia: ... that's not right. Well Mewt, is there anything you wanted?
Felix: Yeah! I want to strength the laws!
Mia: Ok. Sure. Whatever.
Piers: Umm... Remedi, don't you think it would be wise to not take this so lightly?
Mia: One of the crystals has been destroyed, Cid.
Piers: O_O Oh no! That's awful! I can't believe it! Eh... what's a crystal?
Mia: ::kicks Piers in the shin::
Piers: Oh yeah, I remember now!
Mia: So then, it is up to you to change the laws.
Piers: Ok then. ::kisses Mia::
Mia: ::slaps:: HEY! I am a STRICT mudshipper, even if we are meant to be married.
Piers: ...Ok then.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: ::wanders around Cadoan aimlessly, eavesdropping on random conversations::
Blue mage: I can't believe they strengthened the laws again.
Sage: What's new? They're always doing that.
Hunter: I swear, the palace takes great pleasure in watching us squirm!
Sage: Hey hey! Watch what you're saying! You don't know who could be listening...
Isaac: ::whispering:: Heheh, I'm listening, that's who! Isaac the super spy...
Alex: ::sneaks up behind Isaac:: HIYA!
Isaac: ARGH! ::jumps up::
Hunter: ::gives Isaac a strange look::
Isaac: Do you quite mind, Ezel?
Alex: Hey! You're not meant to know my name! Don't refer to me by name!
Isaac: Oh, ok, sorry Ezel.
Alex: -___-+ So, are the laws bothering you too, eh? Doesn't matter. Soon it will be nothing but a memory.
Isaac: Whatever.
Alex: Don't you want to know why?
Isaac: Not really. Now leave me be, I'm eavesdropping here!
Sage: Hey, have you heard that rumour?
Hunter: You mean about Ezel Berbier and his antilaws?
Blue mage: It's hard to imagine anyone could nullify a law!
Hunter: Yeah, but if you could, just imagine!
Isaac: Nullify a law?
Alex: Uh huh.
Isaac: And you figured out how to do it?
Alex: -_- No, Ezel Berbier did.
Isaac: But I thought...
Alex: Just shut up. I have to go now anyway...
Isaac: Hey wait, how did you get out of prison?
Alex: Dessie let me out... but I have to go back once I'm done with this mission.
Isaac: Whatever. See you around, Ezel!
Alex: -__-+
___________
Mission 34 - Hungry ghost - A hungry ghost hound is causing a panic at the Earlchad Monastery and raiding the pantry. Please put it to rest.
-Baldi, Head Monk - Dispatch -Beltran
Mission 35 - Pirates ahoy - We have reports that a large pirate band will be passing through our waters soon. We need good steel and young muscles!
-Wilhem, Coast Guard - Dispatch -Brean
Mission 36 - Earthy colours - I restore artwork for a living, but I'm out of paints. I need some rock from the mountains... Only the hardy need apply.
-Rosseni, Atelier Wite - Dispatch -Aurelie
Mission 37 - Honour lost - Some shady characters are after our leader, Kerry! Can you help? Please don't let anyone know we hired you.
-Ed, Assistant Leader - Dispatch - Rain
Mission 38 - Runaway boy - Need someone to find a runaway child and give him some homeknit clothes. The clothes will be ready as soon as I find thread.
-Gina, Marun Orphanage - Dispatch - Oskar
Mission 39 - Diary dilemma - My little brothers hid my diary somewhere in my house. I need you to find it before--gasp--my parents do!!!
-Edwina, Concerned Girl - Dispatch - Deisel
Mission 40 - Math is hard - I've been at this equation for months now. Never have I been so stumped in my life! Won't someone take a crack at this with me?
-Kosyne, Mathematician -Dispatch - Theodore
Mission 41 - Antilaws - An alchemist named "Ezel" claims he's found a way to nullify laws! Looking for information about him and his antilaws. -Numerous requests
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Hey look! It's Ezel!
Alex: That's random person 23 to you!
Isaac: Oops. Forgot again! ^_^
Alex: Err... why is there a conspicuously place drum kit placed at the back.
::Garet walks in and sits behind the drums with two sticks. Di dun clash!::
Alex: Oh... well, let's get this over with so I can go back to prison.
Illusionist: Ezel! You can't hide forever!
Isaac: But I thought-
Alex: JUST FORGET IT!
Illusionist: Why don't you just turn yourself in quietly.
Alex: No, I've never been good at sitting in one place.
::Di dun clash!::
Illusionist: You've overestimated your power to escape!
Alex: These things happen!
::Di dun clash!:;
Illusionist: Get him! And feel free to break whatever you like!
Alex: Please, take it easy on me! I'm a sensitive old man, you know!
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: As the leader! I have to save random person 23! Brean!
Brean: Yess!
Isaac: Go and dispatch everyone.
Brean: Yess masster!
Beltran: I told you we were overworked, Brean!
Isaac: All is safe now. Hey Alex, why were those people after you?
Alex: Because I asked for 100, 000 gil. That's all it takes to make laws go away.
Isaac: 100, 000 gil?!?
Alex: Yes, it is rather cheap, isn't it!
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: Ok Garet, we could do without the drums now.
Alex: I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I am Ezel Berbier.
Isaac: Yes yes, I know. I'm Marche.
Alex: Well, I'd love to chat but there's someone else after me.
Piers: I've heard the two legged turtles call you an eccentric looney.
Alex: Oh, aren't we an intelligent group. Moogles are teddy bears, Viera are bunny rabbits, Bangaa are lizards and Nu mou are two legged turtles!
Isaac: That just about sums it up.
Alex: Anyway, good evening, Judgemaster Cid.
Isaac: Wow! Mewt's dad is the Judgemaster! Can I have your autograph?
Piers: ::ignores Isaac:: Mr Berbier, I would like to have a word with you.
Alex: No thanks. Jugjes rub me the wrong way.
Piers: Oh, but you have no choice! MUAHAHAHA! ::shows a card::
Alex: It's a picture of you wearing a tutu and duck floaties strapped to a moose.
Piers: Oops. Wrong card. ^^'
Alex: Wow! It's an advanced law!
Piers: I'm glad you know what an advanced law is. Saves me the trouble of explaining them to you. Now there's no way to escape!
Isaac: I don't know what an advanced law is!
Piers: But nobody cares about you, Isaac.
Alex: I guess a little demonstration wouldn't hurt! ::pulls out a card::
Piers: Wow! You can nullify advanced laws as well?
Alex: Bye! I'll be here till Thursday, try the veal, goodnight! ::teleports himself and Isaac away::
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: Garet, I said CUT IT!
*_*_*_*
Isaac: So... that was an antilaw.
Alex: Yup. That was an antilaw.
Isaac: Can I have one?
Alex: No... but I've got a shop for trading law cards in Cadoan! It's still hush hush though.
Isaac: Is that all?
Alex: I guess so...
*_*_*_*
Ok! R&R, no flames (please) though constructive criticism accepted.
Next chapter Ivan and Isaac will be doing the Hero Gaol series... just incase you hadn't read it at the top.
Today we have the first totema!
Also, for those who are interested, here is where I plan to the others: Ultima: Lord of two legged turtles - Chapter 10, The A guy: Lord of lizards - Chapter 12, Exodus: Lord of bunny rabbits - Chapter 17, Mateus: Lord of ninjas, well, no - Chapter 23.
These are subject to change! ^_~
Disclaimer - Destinyofthepast does not own Golden Sun or Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
*_*_*_*
XP - I love you too.
Lu Xun 88 - I emailed you about it... And you ignored me! ::cries::
*_*_*_*
Mission 33 - Twisted flow - I've seen the Ulei River bending and warping most strangely, but no on eelse can see anything! Please find out the truth.
-Jura, Time Mage Adept
Isaac: It's quiet.
Ivan: Too... quiet, kupo.
Isaac: I was just saying. I don't need an action phrase to back it up.
Ivan: Sorry, kupo.
Isaac: Hmm... something important is about to happen. I can feel it in my brain!
Ivan: Right, kupo.
Isaac: I think we may be on the verge of discovering something important!
Ivan: Whatever you say, kupo.
Isaac: We should go further into the river! Though I don't see any warping though.
::Demi like sphere appears::
Ivan: Cool! Black orb! LET ME TOUCH IT, KUPO!
Isaac: Come on, let's go!
Guard: Sorry to interrupt you when you're about to discover something really important, but I have something for you!
Isaac: Can it wait?
Guard: I guess... I'll wait here.
Isaac: Great! ::steps into the black sphere with Ivan::
Guard: Woah! Where did they go?
::Demi like sphere grows bigger and engulfs guard::
Guard: ::lands on top of Isaac and Ivan:: Whee! That was fun!
Isaac: What are you doing here?
Guard: I tripped.
Ivan: But we're here on important business, kupo!
Guard: Sorry.
Isaac: Well, you're obviously going to be annoying us for quite some time, so we might as well know your name.
Guard: Uhh... I'm Person1.
Ivan: ::catches sight of crystal:: Ooo0o0o0o! LET ME TOUCH IT, KUPI!
Isaac: Oh... fine.
Ivan: YAY! ::pokes crystal:: OW! An electric shock! ::pokes crystal again:: OW! Another electric shock! ::pokes crystal yet again:: OW! Another...
Famfrit: ::steps out of the crystal:: Please don't do that.
Isaac: Ooo0o0o! Grand entrance!
Famfrit: I mean, SPEAK YOUR NAME, THEE WHO PROFANE LIGHT!
Person1: WOW! Who are you?
Famfrit: I asked first.
Isaac: Err... I'm Mario.
Famfrit: SPEAK THE TRUTH! Mario's that moose dude, right?
Isaac: Wrong. How much time do you spend down here?
Famfrit: More than you could imagine.
Isaac: You know, I bet Ivan could teach you basketball, if you had a very important experiment,
Famfrit: Nice.
Isaac: Now, who are you?
Famfrit: I AM FAMFRIT, GUARDIAN OF THE CRYSTAL, TOTEMA OF THE MECHS, LORD OF TEDDY BEARS!
Isaac: Lord of teddy bears?
Famfrit: Yep.
Isaac: Don't you mean moogles?
Famfrit: Same difference.
Isaac: And what's a crystal?
Famfrit: You know, I'm supposed to be mean to you. I'm supposed to be in big caps lock talking mode.
Isaac: Is that bad?
Famfrit: Yes. That is bad.
Isaac: Whatever.
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: Couldn't you just let us go with a warning? ^^'
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: Couldn't we settle this maturely over a cup of coffee?
Famfrit: I AM UNDER ORDERS TO EXPEL ALL INTRUDERS!
Isaac: OK OK! I heard you the first time.
Famfrit: Good. Now, this is the bit where you battle me.
Isaac: Umm... ok... HELP! BELTRAN! BREAN! COME HERE!
*_*_*_*
In the prancing chocobo inn.
Brean: ... Are you ssure we sshould do thiss? I thought Marche had ssomething important for uss to do.
Beltran: Oh, he's been overworking us anyway. ::stares at Brean's glass:: You're drinking cola? You do not drink cola at an inn!
Brean: I'm a templar! A temple knight! Temple knightss do not drink! What did you expect?
Beltran: Hmph. Party pooper. Anyway, we're on strike!
Brean: Why? ::sstares at the greenish goop in Beltran'ss glasss::
Beltran: We're being overworked and underpaid!
Brean: Dude... we get more money than Marche and Montblanc do put together.
Beltran: I thought you were a temple knight! I thought temple knights didn't say "Dude!"
Brean: Oh, sshut up.
Beltran: ^O^ Shut up? What kind of temple knight says "Shut up?"
*_*_*_*
Ivan: Umm... I don't think they're coming, kupo.
Isaac: Hmph. They're not being very helpful.
Person1: I ask again: Woah! What is that thing?
Famfrit: Hey! That's not very nice! ::uses Breath of God::
Isaac: Aw. He died.
Ivan: We'll have to make a memorial service when we're done, kupo.
*_*_*_*
Brean: I am sseriously warning you Beltran!
Beltran: And wassup with the double s? Repeat after me: wassup with the double s?
Brean: ::rolls eyes:: Wasssup with the double ss?
Beltran: Wassup? What kind of temple knight says "Wassup?"
Brean: I didn't say "Wasssup" I said "Wassssup!"
Beltran: You're adding an s everytime you do that.
Brean: Are you assking me to punch your face in?
*_*_*_*
Ivan: Uhh... you're being mean Famfrit! I don't like it when you bully me, kupo!
Famfrit: ::kills Ivan::
Isaac: So much for that line of advertisements.
Famfrit: ::puts on boxing gloves:: Wanna fight, Mario dude?
Isaac; Mario?
Famfrit: That's what you said your name was.
Isaac: Ah yes... I'm Mario. So if you look for me, remember I'm MARIO!
Famfrit: Got it.
Isaac: M - A - R - I - O.
Famfrit: Ok then.
Isaac: With a capital-
Famfit: OK I GET IT!
*_*_*_*
Beltran: Punch my face in? Temple knights don't punch faces in!
Brean: ARGH! I give up! ::ssips drink and ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: Mission succeeded! Ok Brean, you can talk to me again.
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: Didn't you hear me? I said you can talk to me again.
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran::
Beltran: ::bats eyelashes, puts hands together and pouts::
Brean: ::ignoress Beltran, trying not to laugh::
Beltran: ARGH! I give up! ::sips drink and ignores Brean::
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Hey, isn't this cage match a little unfair?
Famfrit: What do you mean? It's one on one.
Isaac: Yeah, but if we were in a real cage match, I would be a lightweight and you would be a super-megaweight.
Famfrit: Hey! Are you insulting my weight! I work out as much as one can when trapped in a crystal!
Isaac: Hey, look at that piece of paper on the ground behind you!
Famfrit: I don't know how dumb you think I am, but I'm not that dumb.
Isaac: No really! ::grabs paper::
*_*_*_*
Top ten things to not talk about when trapped in a cell with an aging nu- I am not old With an aging nu mou
How much better your hair is than-
I am not old
Than theirs.
Their childhood.
Your plans to take over the entire-
I am not old
SHUT UP!
Hey, don't talk to me that way!
YOUR PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!
He's evil, I tell you!
SHUT UP! I'm trying to write!
Why the world is- Hey, where did you get that pen?
I found it in your box entitled "Mia Shrine"
Oh yeah - Imilshipping
I can't believe you went through my Mia Shrine!
Who's Mia?
Not telling.
Oh, is it that rude whippersnapper's girlfriend?
...I shall just ignore you. Why the world is round.
Being a-
You know, you really hurt my feelings.
Being a-
I am not old
BEING A MUSE!
How much better my life would be if I wasn't doing a FFTA-
I am not old
*_*_*_*
Isaac: Eh? Weren't there 10 things to not talk about?
Famfrit: Yes... but I think the blood splattered all over the page explains it.
Isaac: Oh.
*_*_*_*
Brean: I'm ssorry, Beltran.
Beltran: NOW you're Mr. Temple knight, all polite and weird with armour that is also weird.
Brean: Hey! Are you inssulting my carabini mail?
Beltran: Yes! I am insulting your cranberry mail!
Brean: It'ss carabini mail. ::tosssess some gil to the innkeeper and getss up::
Beltran: I think it's cranberry mail. ::tosses some gil to the innkeeper also and goes out the door::
Brean: You're an idiot. ::followss Beltran::
*_*_*_*
Famfrit: Well, still, you insulted my weight AND my name-
Isaac: No I didn't.
Famfrit: Oh. Then you're the first.
Isaac: You never told me your name.
Famfrit: It's Famfrit.
Isaac: HAHA! FAMFRIT! HAHA!
Famfrit: ::kills Isaac::
::Big letters are plastered across Isaac's head reading Game Over::
Isaac: Owies...
Famfrit: Hey, what's that noise?
Beltran: ::in the distance:: You're an idiot times infinity no returns jinx padlock!
Brean: ::in the distance:: You're an idiot timess infinity plus one no returnss jinx padlock!
Beltran: You're an idiot times infinity plus two no returns jinx padlock!
Brean: You're a sstupid idiot timess infinity plus three no returnss jinx padlock!
Isaac: It's Beltran and Brean!
Famfrit: Oh damn. ::rips the words reading Game Over off Isaac's head::
Isaac: YIKES! That hurt!
Beltran: You're a double stupid idiot times infinity plus- Hey, what's that noise?
Brean: Ssoundss like Marche. He ssoundss in pain.
Beltran: Oh, who cares, we're on strike!
Brean: Grr... ::dragss Beltran into the demi ssphere::
Isaac: Yay! You two came to help me!
Beltran: Actually, he came to help you, he dragged me here.
Isaac: -__-+ Whatever.
Beltran: Woah! What IS-
Isaac: ::shakes head frantically::
Beltran: THAT THING?
Isaac: ::gets up so he can fall over anime style::
Famfrit: Grr... I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL! ::uses Breath of God::
Beltran: ::falls over:: Owies!
Brean: ::ssighss:: Guesss it'ss up to me! ::puncturess Famfrit'ss boxing glovess with the sspear::
Famfrit: Hey! I paid good money for those! ::cries::
Brean: ::whackss in the head with sspear::
Famfrit: ::falls over:: Ok... you guys win.
Isaac: Great! Now, there are some questions I'd like to ask you.
Famfrit: Very well... but the mean lizard has to go first! He hit me!
Brean: LIZARD?
Ivan: CONTROL YOUR ANGER, KUPO!
Brean: o.o Meep. ::goess back through the demi ssphere::
Isaac: Now, what is a crystal?
Famfrit: A crystal is one of the world threads. It binds our world together and holds it in place. Next question.
Isaac: Why do you work so hard to protect it?
Famfrit: ... A crystal is one of the world threads. It binds our world together and holds it in place.
Isaac: Other than that!
Famfrit: Because that is what the teddy bears made me for! Anyway, I've decided to grant you my powers!
Isaac: ::eyes glitter:: You mean Breath of God?
Famfrit: Of course not, that would make the game too easy. Besides, I'm giving my powers to Montblanc, Rain and Theodore!
Isaac: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR! WHY DON'T I GET ANY POWERS?
Famfrit: Because you're not a moogle.
Isaac: Oh. That doesn't make sense.
Famfrit: Don't worry. When you destroy the totema for the humans, you will get your powers.
Isaac: What? You mean there's MORE totema to destroy?
Famfrit: Yes. Five in total.
Isaac: That's not very fair.
Famfrit: Life doesn't tend to be fair. Well, I must be off now. Goodbye. ::explodes::
Isaac: That was... weird.
Felix: ::appears as a shadow::
Isaac: Mewt?
Felix: Stop making me remember! I don't like you!
Isaac: Making you remember? What do you mean?
Felix: ::disappears::
Isaac: That wasn't very informative. Lets go have our memorial service for the guard now.
Person1: ::wakes up:: WOW! That was cool! Can I do that again?
Isaac: Never mind... what were you here for again?
Person1: To give you something Alex wrote.
Isaac: Top ten things to not talk about with aging nu mou?
Person1: Yeah! How did you know?
Isaac: I've got it. Now, the next punishment for Alex is to throw him in a cage with 10 rabid fangirls for 2 days!
Person1: Got it. I'm off now.
::Behind him, the crystal shatters::
Isaac: ...This is getting too weird. Lets go. ::exits via the demi sphere::
*_*_*_*
(Scene - Mewt's bedroom)
Piers: What's wrong Mewt? You look upset!
Felix: Papa! ::leaps into his arms::
Piers; You're rooms a mess! Tidy it up this instant!
Felix: Later, papa.
Piers: HEY! Don't you talk to me that way, son! Now, go to your room!
Felix: Piers... I'm in my room.
Piers: Good! You're already learning obedience! Now, Babus came into my room, blurting out something or other. I didn't listen to any of it, but he sounded quite worried. Is anything wrong?
Felix: Papa, I remembered something horrible!
Piers: Isn't that nice, well, look at the time, I must be off...
Felix: LISTEN! The kids at school were being mean to me, and they were throwing snowballs at me, and one of them had a rock in it!
Piers: Poor you. Well, I've got some important business to attend to so... wait: what are you talking about? You're Prince Mewt!
Felix: Yeah, that's right!
I'm royalty, I'm a prince. Everyone listens to whatever I say. My word is law! This is my country! Nobody picks on me! Oh no, I sound like Isaac...
::Kraden and Mia enter::
Mia: What's wrong, Mewt?
Felix: Mama, the kids at school were being mean to me, and they were throwing snowballs at me, and one of them had a rock in it!
Mia: Aww... poor Mewt. Mommy kiss the booboo better?
Felix: ...Mia.
Mia: Sorry, I got a little bit carried away with my role there.
Piers: You know, Mia, you're son is older than you are! ^_^
Mia: ... that's not right. Well Mewt, is there anything you wanted?
Felix: Yeah! I want to strength the laws!
Mia: Ok. Sure. Whatever.
Piers: Umm... Remedi, don't you think it would be wise to not take this so lightly?
Mia: One of the crystals has been destroyed, Cid.
Piers: O_O Oh no! That's awful! I can't believe it! Eh... what's a crystal?
Mia: ::kicks Piers in the shin::
Piers: Oh yeah, I remember now!
Mia: So then, it is up to you to change the laws.
Piers: Ok then. ::kisses Mia::
Mia: ::slaps:: HEY! I am a STRICT mudshipper, even if we are meant to be married.
Piers: ...Ok then.
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: ::wanders around Cadoan aimlessly, eavesdropping on random conversations::
Blue mage: I can't believe they strengthened the laws again.
Sage: What's new? They're always doing that.
Hunter: I swear, the palace takes great pleasure in watching us squirm!
Sage: Hey hey! Watch what you're saying! You don't know who could be listening...
Isaac: ::whispering:: Heheh, I'm listening, that's who! Isaac the super spy...
Alex: ::sneaks up behind Isaac:: HIYA!
Isaac: ARGH! ::jumps up::
Hunter: ::gives Isaac a strange look::
Isaac: Do you quite mind, Ezel?
Alex: Hey! You're not meant to know my name! Don't refer to me by name!
Isaac: Oh, ok, sorry Ezel.
Alex: -___-+ So, are the laws bothering you too, eh? Doesn't matter. Soon it will be nothing but a memory.
Isaac: Whatever.
Alex: Don't you want to know why?
Isaac: Not really. Now leave me be, I'm eavesdropping here!
Sage: Hey, have you heard that rumour?
Hunter: You mean about Ezel Berbier and his antilaws?
Blue mage: It's hard to imagine anyone could nullify a law!
Hunter: Yeah, but if you could, just imagine!
Isaac: Nullify a law?
Alex: Uh huh.
Isaac: And you figured out how to do it?
Alex: -_- No, Ezel Berbier did.
Isaac: But I thought...
Alex: Just shut up. I have to go now anyway...
Isaac: Hey wait, how did you get out of prison?
Alex: Dessie let me out... but I have to go back once I'm done with this mission.
Isaac: Whatever. See you around, Ezel!
Alex: -__-+
___________
Mission 34 - Hungry ghost - A hungry ghost hound is causing a panic at the Earlchad Monastery and raiding the pantry. Please put it to rest.
-Baldi, Head Monk - Dispatch -Beltran
Mission 35 - Pirates ahoy - We have reports that a large pirate band will be passing through our waters soon. We need good steel and young muscles!
-Wilhem, Coast Guard - Dispatch -Brean
Mission 36 - Earthy colours - I restore artwork for a living, but I'm out of paints. I need some rock from the mountains... Only the hardy need apply.
-Rosseni, Atelier Wite - Dispatch -Aurelie
Mission 37 - Honour lost - Some shady characters are after our leader, Kerry! Can you help? Please don't let anyone know we hired you.
-Ed, Assistant Leader - Dispatch - Rain
Mission 38 - Runaway boy - Need someone to find a runaway child and give him some homeknit clothes. The clothes will be ready as soon as I find thread.
-Gina, Marun Orphanage - Dispatch - Oskar
Mission 39 - Diary dilemma - My little brothers hid my diary somewhere in my house. I need you to find it before--gasp--my parents do!!!
-Edwina, Concerned Girl - Dispatch - Deisel
Mission 40 - Math is hard - I've been at this equation for months now. Never have I been so stumped in my life! Won't someone take a crack at this with me?
-Kosyne, Mathematician -Dispatch - Theodore
Mission 41 - Antilaws - An alchemist named "Ezel" claims he's found a way to nullify laws! Looking for information about him and his antilaws. -Numerous requests
*_*_*_*_*
Isaac: Hey look! It's Ezel!
Alex: That's random person 23 to you!
Isaac: Oops. Forgot again! ^_^
Alex: Err... why is there a conspicuously place drum kit placed at the back.
::Garet walks in and sits behind the drums with two sticks. Di dun clash!::
Alex: Oh... well, let's get this over with so I can go back to prison.
Illusionist: Ezel! You can't hide forever!
Isaac: But I thought-
Alex: JUST FORGET IT!
Illusionist: Why don't you just turn yourself in quietly.
Alex: No, I've never been good at sitting in one place.
::Di dun clash!::
Illusionist: You've overestimated your power to escape!
Alex: These things happen!
::Di dun clash!:;
Illusionist: Get him! And feel free to break whatever you like!
Alex: Please, take it easy on me! I'm a sensitive old man, you know!
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: As the leader! I have to save random person 23! Brean!
Brean: Yess!
Isaac: Go and dispatch everyone.
Brean: Yess masster!
Beltran: I told you we were overworked, Brean!
Isaac: All is safe now. Hey Alex, why were those people after you?
Alex: Because I asked for 100, 000 gil. That's all it takes to make laws go away.
Isaac: 100, 000 gil?!?
Alex: Yes, it is rather cheap, isn't it!
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: Ok Garet, we could do without the drums now.
Alex: I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I am Ezel Berbier.
Isaac: Yes yes, I know. I'm Marche.
Alex: Well, I'd love to chat but there's someone else after me.
Piers: I've heard the two legged turtles call you an eccentric looney.
Alex: Oh, aren't we an intelligent group. Moogles are teddy bears, Viera are bunny rabbits, Bangaa are lizards and Nu mou are two legged turtles!
Isaac: That just about sums it up.
Alex: Anyway, good evening, Judgemaster Cid.
Isaac: Wow! Mewt's dad is the Judgemaster! Can I have your autograph?
Piers: ::ignores Isaac:: Mr Berbier, I would like to have a word with you.
Alex: No thanks. Jugjes rub me the wrong way.
Piers: Oh, but you have no choice! MUAHAHAHA! ::shows a card::
Alex: It's a picture of you wearing a tutu and duck floaties strapped to a moose.
Piers: Oops. Wrong card. ^^'
Alex: Wow! It's an advanced law!
Piers: I'm glad you know what an advanced law is. Saves me the trouble of explaining them to you. Now there's no way to escape!
Isaac: I don't know what an advanced law is!
Piers: But nobody cares about you, Isaac.
Alex: I guess a little demonstration wouldn't hurt! ::pulls out a card::
Piers: Wow! You can nullify advanced laws as well?
Alex: Bye! I'll be here till Thursday, try the veal, goodnight! ::teleports himself and Isaac away::
::Di dun clash!::
Isaac: Garet, I said CUT IT!
*_*_*_*
Isaac: So... that was an antilaw.
Alex: Yup. That was an antilaw.
Isaac: Can I have one?
Alex: No... but I've got a shop for trading law cards in Cadoan! It's still hush hush though.
Isaac: Is that all?
Alex: I guess so...
*_*_*_*
Ok! R&R, no flames (please) though constructive criticism accepted.
Next chapter Ivan and Isaac will be doing the Hero Gaol series... just incase you hadn't read it at the top.