A/N Okay, I was asked to explain who Brian is. Well, he was mentioned sort of in passing earlier in the story, you're not really supposed to remember him. Who he is and what's going on gets explained in this chapter, so don't worry. But as usual, if you're ever confused please email me and I'll be happy to explain. I know sometimes there is a lag between posts or since a person has been mentioned and characters get forgotten. So just let me know.
Chapter 69
The cab pulled up in front of the hospital. Jason got out of the front and opened up the back door, helping Cass out who had been sitting on Roger's lap. They all waited out front as Mark paid the cab driver. "Okay, we're all set." Mark said, stepping up to them as they started to walk inside.
"Um, wait a minute." Roger said, causing everyone to pause. He looked at Cass. She was wearing jeans and one of his old long sleeve sweatshirts with his old leather jacket over it. She didn't look pregnant, not at all. Especially not dressed like that. But just the other day he was teasing her that her flat runner's stomach was getting a little pudge. Even if she had put on weight, none of these people had seen her for years, so they wouldn't know what she looked like when she got to New York anyway. His arm tightened around her waist. "Um, listen when we get up there, nobody mention Cass is pregnant."
"Probably a good idea." Collins agreed.
"Mark? Can you handle that this time?" Roger asked him.
"Yes. Don't worry. Let's just go."
They headed inside. Collins got directions and they went upstairs. As they stepped off the elevator into the waiting area, Roger felt Cass tense up as she looked around the room.
"You okay Baby?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded. "You want me to go with you?"
"No I need to do this on my own." She told him, but the grip she had on his hand never loosened. She slowly headed out of the waiting area towards the hall Renee's room was on. Roger was walking with her when she suddenly stopped. He heard her catch her breath and looked up to see what caused it. Two guys came around the corner. Roger watched the smile come across the taller one's face when he saw Cass. He motioned to the other guy who nodded and smiled. They headed into the waiting area and sat down. Roger saw Brian come out of a room and head towards the two guys. He stopped when he saw Cass.
"Hey." He said to her not looking at her face. "I'm glad you came. It'll really make Renee happy Cass." She only nodded. "Come on, I'll take you in."
Cass looked at Roger, still holding her hand. "I'm right here Baby." He kissed her forehead.
"I know." She paused, looking back in to the waiting area at the two guys. "Just don't do anything. Please?"
"Yeah Baby. I promise." He glared over at the two guys, knowing that was what she was talking about.
Cass gave his hand one last squeeze before letting it go and following Brian. Roger watched her slowly walk away. He couldn't put to words what she was feeling at that moment, but he would have done anything to take it away from her. He walked over and sat down next to Mark, running his hands over his face.
"You okay Rog? You want some crappy coffee or anything?" Jason asked.
"No." He sighed. "I hate fucking hospitals." He almost spit the words out.
Collins realized the words were directed at the two guys across the room. The one kept looking at Roger who kept glaring back at him. "Who are those guys?"
"Better question," Jason asked, "who was the guy that came to the apartment?"
Roger looked to Mark for answers. Mark sat back in his chair. He looked around the room. "Okay. I think the tall guy is Paulie, her ex-boyfriend. I mean I've only seen a few pictures of him, but I'm pretty sure. I don't know who the guy with him is. Brian, the guy that came to the apartment, he's Paulie's cousin. They were really tight. I know most of the coke came through one of them." Mark shook his head. "Renee was, is Brian's girlfriend I guess. I mean she was his girlfriend back then. She and Cass were real close. I think Cass introduced Renee and Brian."
"Well that clears up some stuff." Jason said gently. "But what else is going on? It seems like something else is going on."
"He's right Mark. What aren't you telling us?" Collins asked.
Mark looked at Collins and Jason. He knew he would have been able to talk his way out of this to them, but then he looked at Roger. Roger whose eye's pleaded for answers. Answers he knew Mark had. "I… um, well, I wasn't…"
"Mark." Roger said in that voice that always reminded Mark of somebody's father.
"Okay, listen, I wasn't there. I only know parts. And the parts I know, well she was pretty upset when she told me. And it took forever to figure out the part I know."
"Mark just talk." Roger said in that voice again.
"Okay fine. But if she finds out, I'm telling her you forced me. You know how she got put into rehab the second time? Right after her car accident?" They nodded. "Well, there is a little more to it then just that."
"We gathered that." Jason added.
Mark continued. "It wasn't just rehab. It was more like a hospital. Like a mental type hospital. From what I know, to save his own ass, Paulie helped her father get her committed. That's why she was in rehab for so long that time."
"What a bastard." Jason said throwing an icy look towards Paulie.
"Yeah well, it's not exactly one of the highlights of her life. Just don't say anything okay? I'm like the only person that knows. She just never wanted people thinking she was crazy or something."
******************
Cass followed Brian into a room. There was Renee. She had an oxygen mask on and the bed was all the way up so she was sitting, but she was still having a terribly hard time breathing. When Brian walked in he exchanged a nasty look with an older man Cass recognized as Renee's father. The man got up and walked out of the room.
"Renee baby, open your eyes." Brian said softly in her ear, taking her hand. Her eyes slowly opened and looked at him. "Look." He motioned with his head. She turned some towards Cass, a small smile appeared on her face.
She reached up and moved the mask some. "Hey." She said so softly Cass saw it more than heard it.
"Hey." Cass' eyes went up and down her, taking in all the tubes and wires.
"He… tell… you?" she asked struggling for a breath between each word.
"What happened to you? Yes, he did." She nodded.
"I… missed… you."
"I've missed you too." Cass reached out touching her hand. "I'm so sorry Renee, this is all my fault."
"No." She moved her head some as if to shake it. "My fault."
They just looked at each other for a few moments, both with so much to say and resolve. One unable to and one not wanting to burden the other. "Cass…" Renee said softly. "Wanted… you… to know. Sorry. So sorry." She took another breath. "We… should… have done… something. We… were your… friends. We deserted… you. We should … have helped. Been there."
"It's okay Renee, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."
"No… sorry." She was struggling to breathe.
"It's okay. I'm over it."
The nurse walked in and checked the monitors. "You need to wrap up this conversation. You're wearing her out."
Cass nodded.
Renee reached for Cass' hand. "Loved you." She said through the mask the nurse had readjusted.
"I loved you too. You were my best friend."
"Forgive me?"
"Nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault."
"Thank you." A smile came over her face as she closed her eyes and rested her head back.
Cass looked to Brian. "She gets tired really easily." He moved to walk out of the room and she followed.
They were in front of the nurses' station when he stopped. "Listen Cass," he paused, looking for the words. "It was my fault we didn't help you. Paulie never should have done what he did. We should have been there for you."
"Yes, you should have."
"Like I said, it was me, not Renee. She wanted to try and do something. Really."
"Don't worry about it." Her eyes went to her feet. She picked up a pencil and a business card off the desk. "Here's my phone number. Call me and let me know what's going on, because I can't come back here."
Brian nodded and took the card with a slightly shaky hand. She turned to walk away. "Cass." He softly called to her. "Thank you. For coming. Really." She just nodded and walked back over to Roger and the guys. She shook her head at them, telling them she was ready to go home. As they walked back to the elevator a look was passed between Cass and Paulie. Another this time with more hatred and anger went between Roger and Paulie. No one spoke as they went down to catch a cab.
**************
When they got back to the apartment, it was late, but Cass didn't want to go to sleep. Roger sat up with her half the night, talking to her, playing her songs on his guitar. Mark held out as long as he could, but eventually fell asleep.
When the phone rang at 10:30 that morning, no one else was awake. "Hello?" Mark asked somewhat groggily.
"Can I talk to Cass?"
"She's asleep. Who's this?"
"It's Brian. Just tell her, tell her Renee died this morning."
"Oh. Sorry."
Mark thought about waking Cass up but decided against it. He took down the information and hung up the phone. Mark realized it was after ten and Roger never took his pills. He got him water and his pills and went to their room.
Mark could hear Roger snoring. He quietly opened the door. They were both asleep, Roger had his arms around her. Mark realized he's watched Roger sleep for years. Roger had that same content look on his face. Almost a grin. The last time he saw that, Mimi was still alive. Roger never slept well when he was alone. Not after April. Not after that night. Images of that night came flooding back to him and he pushed them away.
"Rog…" He whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. "Roger wake up, it's after ten."
He mumbled something, opened his eyes somewhat and took the pills from Mark. He already had them swallowed when he saw the water Mark was holding for him. He took a sip, set it on the floor, and mumbled something else as he closed his eyes and was back asleep immediately. Mark had to laugh. He wondered if Roger had ever really woken up. Mark picked up the cup and walked out, closing the door behind him. Cass never moved.
About two hours later, Mark was sitting on the couch reading his scratchy notes. He looked up as the bedroom door opened and Cass came out, followed by Roger. They walked into the living room, Roger dropped onto Mark's bed, pulling Cass down with him.
"It's too early to be up."
"It's 12:30." Mark told him.
Cass sat up, knocking Roger off her. "Roger it's 12:30 you never took your pills."
"Crap. I guess I never heard my watch."
"Relax, you took them."
"I did?" Roger looked confused.
Mark grinned. "Yes you did. I gave them to you this morning around 10:30. You sat up, took them, said something I couldn't understand and laid back down."
"Oh. Well if you say so." Roger laughed, laying back down with Cass.
Mark shook his head at him, just watching them for a minute. "Um Cass?"
"What sweetie?"
"Um, Brian called earlier." He looked at her. "He uh, Renee died around three this morning."
"Oh." She lay back on the mattress.
"He said they were having a memorial for her at some church here in the city then flying her back to LA"
*************
Roger unlocked the apartment door and walked in followed by Cass, Mark, Maureen, Jen, Jason and Collins.
"I shouldn't have eaten those stuffed jalapenoes." Cass said, a hand on her stomach.
"Yeah that place was a little spicy. But I liked it." Collins said as he sat down on the barstool. "We should have gone there before."
"It's strange, I almost feel like we're cheating on Life Café when we eat somewhere else." Jason laughed sitting down at the counter as well.
"You are so weird Jason." Jen told him, going into the kitchen and grabbing water. "You guys have a message."
Mark looked up. "Jason hit the button."
Jason reached over, hitting the play button and the machine rewound itself. "Speak!" Roger and Mark's voice came out of the machine as it re-set itself.
"That message is still so original." Jen said sarcastically.
The machine beeped and the message began. "Cassiopeia this is your father."
"Oh joy." She said dryly.
"Your uncle called me. I'm calling to let you know your cousin will be in New York later tonight. He has to go to a funeral or something on Monday. I'm just letting you know like I said I would. I'll talk to you later."
As the message ended everyone looked at Cass. She was standing near the couch, her coat half off. Her face had gone a ghostly pale.
Maureen stepped over to her and reached out to take her coat the rest of the way off. "Sweetie give me this."
Mark looked from Cass to Roger. The intense look of fear on her face was countered by the look of hatred and anger that came over Roger's. Mark didn't remember ever seeing Roger look so mad and he had seen him mad over the years.
"He's going to your friend's funeral?" Jen asked.
"I, I guess." Cass said softly.
"I thought she was your friend." Maureen said.
"I, he was friends with Paulie and Brian. He knew Renee, but that's all. He hasn't seen them in years."
"Why do you think he's coming here then? Just to be a total bastard?" Maureen asked.
"Maybe, probably." She sat down again on the couch. "He'd get a big kick out of harassing me. Or starting trouble." She looked at Roger.
"Well I think you should go, not let him know he bothers you at all." Jen said, trying to be helpful.
"Yeah then afterward let Roger and Izzy beat the crap out of him!"
"Maureen!" Jason snapped at her, but Mark could tell by the look on his face he didn't entirely disagree.
Roger went over to where she was and sat down next to her. She had pulled her knees up to her chin and was just staring at them. "Baby are you okay?" He asked her softly.
Mark just stood there by the answering machine. He didn't know what to do. It suddenly occurred to him how different Roger was. The old Roger would have been halfway to the airport by now, waiting for Anton to beat him to a bloody pulp. Not sitting on the floor, quietly talking to Cass.
"Um, we're going to go." Collins announced.
Jason nodded and started to follow Collins out when he realized neither Maureen nor Jen had moved. Jason turned, grabbed Maureen by the wrist as he gave Jen a shove towards the door. Maureen was about to protest but one look from Jason shut her up and they headed out, closing the door behind themselves.
Mark walked over and sat down on the other side of Cass. He just sat there. Listening to Roger talk to Cass. Listening to him talk to her. Calming her down. Keeping her from freaking out.
Finally Mark spoke. "It's gonna be okay Cass."
"Don't worry Baby." Roger told her, holding her close. "I'll never let him hurt you again Baby."
"Me either." Mark said, still just staring at her. She hadn't said anything yet. Hadn't cried, yelled, screamed, nothing. She just sat there, letting Roger hold her and talk to her.
"That fucking bastard." She finally said, leaning against Roger, staring out at his hand holding hers. "Renee was my friend. Paulie and Brian too. He's just doing this to be mean."
"You're probably right Cass." Mark started, pushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear. "I mean we already know he knows our phone number. And he's the one that gave Paulie our address to give to Brian."
"And we'll never let him hurt you again Baby. I promise."
"Roger's right Cass. We'll never let him hurt you, but he's always gonna be out there. And he's probably always gonna be a total bastard to you."
They sat there like that for a few more minutes. "Renee was my friend and I hated her for over four years for just deserting me. She was my friend damn it. I'm not letting that bastard win. It's my life and I want it back!"