Title: Agent Smith Considers A Career Change
Rating: PG I guess.
Category: Humour
Disclaimer. You know the drill, not mine.
A/N: * hangs head in shame * Don't ask.
~Flippant
Three Agents were sitting in the interrogation room. Their feet up on the table that seemd to be collapsing under the weight of all the junk food and alcohol.
"Truth or dare?" Brown asked Smith, slurring his words.
Agent Smith took a while answering, pondering his decision.
"...Dare." He said slowly and immediately regretted his choice when he saw the look Browns and Jones shared.
Pure evil.
"I want you to dress and drag." Said Brown, an evil smirk plastered on his usually stoic face, "and sing "Barbie Girl." The Agent's smirk turned it a wide smile.
To say that Smith was suprised would be the understatement of the century.
Smith was not one to back down from a darw, no matter how absurd it was.
Slowly he replied. "Alright...I'll do it."
"Excellent." Said Brown as he stood up and stumbled over to a concealed cupboard.
Smith watched as his companion opened the cupboard and pulled out what must have been the World's largest make-up kit and a bundle which looked like a bright pink flamingo costume.
Brown bounded over to him and opened the make-up kit which seemed to contain a never-ending supply of stick-on beads, glitter and bright pink, blue and purple mistakes.
Why, oh why had he agreed to do this he thought, shaking his head.
Agent Brown started on the beautifying process and 10 minutes later, Agent Smith started to feel like a poorly decorated Christmas tree.
"All done!" giggled the very drunk Agent and he handed Smith a mirror.
When Smith saw his reflection, all he wanted to do was curl up and die. He not only felt like a Christmas tree, he looked like one too.
His lips were now an atrocious shade of hot pink, his eyes were now hooded in a monstrous shade of purple and he had blue jewels stuck around his eyes and face.
His two companions were red-faced with laughter.
"Now for the finishing touch!" Said Jones, through fits of giggles and pulled out a bright rainbow wig from behind his back and set it atop Smith's head.
"Okie, that's the make-up done. Now it's time for the costume." Giggled Jones, and he picked up the bright pink flamingo costume and unrolled it. It was revealed not to be a bird costume but a dress. A bright pink dress complete with not only feathers, but extraordinary amounts of glitter, sequins and beads. The whole shebang.
Slowly Smith picked up the dress, turned around and slip it over his head. The sound of the other Agent's laughter bounced off the walls, echoing around the room and driving him insane.
Smith turned around and faced his now red-faced counterparts.
They errupted into fresh bouts of giggles.
Agents were designed to feel emotion, but Smith swore he felt embaressed right to the tips of his rainbow colored wig.
"The shoes! The shoeeeeeeees!" Wheezed Brown in between his giggles and pointed to a pair of bright pink matching stiletto's complete with feathers which were laying haphazardly on the table.
Smith picked them up and slowly put them on, choosing to ingnore the tittering Agents.
"Now it's time for the last part of your dare. Time for you to give us a performance Smithina." Snickered Brown.
At that moment, a karaoke machine appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Great. Now the Architect was watching this.
Smith thought that if he was going to give them a show, it would be the best goddamn show anyone had ever seen.
Carefully he stepped up on the table, kicking the empty bottles of alcohol and empty packets of chips on the floor. He picked up the mic and started to sing.
"I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world. Wrapped in plastic, it's fantastic!" He sang as he executed dance moves that would make even Michael Jackson green with envy.
Smith couldn't ignore the fact that he was enjoying himself.
Maybe it was time for a career change, he thought as the other two Agents clapped and wolf-whistled.