More than
~
She loves him more than he will ever know. He loves her more than he will ever show.
~
I still remember the feeling of falling… of the world sweeping out from beneath me. The pull of gravity sucking me down into oblivion. Then, out of nowhere a sweep of angel wings. The jerk as you wrap your arms around me, stopping my descent into death. And yet, pushing me over the edge of the cliff of love. I looked into your eyes and in that moment, my breath caught.
~
I know I don't show it, but I feel this small emotion budding, blooming, growing inside of me. It's strange. I've never felt this way before. When I look at you… I can't describe the feeling, but every little thing you do makes it grow stronger. I watch you from around corners, from the balcony… from a distance. You're so innocent. You aren't supposed to be here, not during this time of war. Not now. But I don't want you to go. I can feel something breaking at the thought. Something I thought I had gotten rid of the moment everyone abandoned me, left me… alone. Yet, I can't show these fragile emotions… I can't show them, because to do so would doom you… and I couldn't bare that thought.
~
Van leaned against the wall, staring across the garden at where Hitomi was laughing with Allen. Allen, who was so much more open with his thoughts and with his feelings, who van had the notion was also in love.
Things had calmed down, for the moment. It was their turn to rest. The sun was high in the sky, shinning down brightly and yet he felt none of its warmth. How can Allen so easily toss her life away? For him to show this weakness, for others to see him, now they will know how to destroy him.
He sighed, how he wished he could show her his emotions without being the perfect soldier, without worrying.
She was what he needed to sooth the chaos… and yet, he could not reach the calm.
~
Hitomi smiled at Allen, but her thoughts were on Van. He looked so depressed leaning against the wall, like his whole world was falling out beneath him. Falling out beneath him? Why couldn't she catch him? Why couldn't she make the fall with him?
A million questions swam through her mind and none of them could be answered. She turned her thoughts back to Allen, who hadn't stopped for a breath the whole time and was still continuously talking. Hitomi smiled, nodding.
Why couldn't he be the one whose breath caught?
And whose heart clinched?
Why couldn't he be the one in love?