Chapter 2

Dodgy Doppelganger

"Diego Longjohn, oh he was daft,

To stay alive he built this raft.

He must have sailed for days and nights,

Until that is, he saw familiar lights.

He was not in his own world no more,

Instead he sat upon the shore,

Wanting nothing more than to go home, go back,

However the sissy is afraid of Jack.

That's Jack Sparrow, everyone knows,

When ever he comes, the people go.

That's why Diego hates Jack so,

Not because he's a pirate, no,

But because he has the biggest…"

Diego and Cooper were shushed by Miranda as she entered the galley.  The crew was already down there waiting for her, many of them chuckling and giggling at Cooper and Reeves' song.  Miranda eyed them all and smiled.  She knew what the song was.

"Reeves, Cooper," She began, addressing their names, "Please refrain from singing that song any further.  It's not that it's not very funny… and true…, it's just very irritating to hear it time and time again."

Cooper snorted a laugh and Reeves stood up, slapping him and looking up to Miranda.

"Yes, Capt'n.  Guess what?"

Miranda stared at him.  She then gazed around the room hoping to find an answer.  Instead she shrugged and sighed.

"What?"

"Lookie!"

Cooper pulled up a bag from the floor and threw it to her. She opened it and looked inside.

"What's this?  This is what we started with! Is this all we got from that ship?"

"Heck no! That's just a sample, capt'n!"

Reeves leant down and unlatched the hatch in the middle of the floor and opened it.  Inside were many more bags and jewels galore.  Miranda's eyes widened and she pushed the hair away from her face to have a better look.  She smiled and slammed the hatch back down forcefully and happily.

"Good! We deserved it after having to confront those snotty traders!"

Reeves patted her on the shoulder.

"Jack will be proud that we succeeded what we set out do, aye?"

"Of course.  I hope he had as much fortune as we did."

The both of them turned around and saw Cooper leaning over into the corner, sifting through the bag.  He pulled out a ring encrusted with a very large red ruby and put it onto his finger, laughing cheekily.  When he realised that the room was silent he turned to see the rest of the crew watching him.  Out of embarrassment he ceased laughing and ripped the ring off his finger.  Miranda snatched the bag from him.

"Remember comrades.  Half of this loot goes to Jack.  He was after all the one to suggest we come this way."

"O' course capt'n."  Cooper replied, trying to hide the ring in his coat.

Miranda chuckled and left him and the rest of the crew.

"Get back on deck! Resume your posts! Were not there just yet! Keep at it!"

The men scrambled about behind her and shoved their way past and up to the deck.  Miranda went up last followed closely by Reeves, her first mate, and Cooper.  The sunlight beamed down on them, Miranda brushed off her coat and ripped off her hat to look around her.  She covered her eyes with her hand and looked to the deck finally.  All of the crew were standing there staring up at the helm.  Miranda slapped the hat back onto her head.

"Well!? What are you all doing! Get back to work you mongrels!"

The crew acted as if she wasn't there, and continued to stare.  She finally shoved her way through them only to find nothing.

She waved her hands in front of them and jumped up and down.

"Pirates!!! What is going on!! I demand you tell me!!"

She watched as their heads darted upwards to the mast.  Miranda looked up too, frustrated that she couldn't see anything at all.

Instead she took hold of the wheel and spun it violently in one direction.  The ship flew to one side and the men fell backwards to the deck.  The front sail fluttered fiercely in the other direction and slammed as it hit the other side.  Nothing else happened.  Miranda stood up and gazed around the deck.  She frowned and watched the crew try to get to their feet, but took the wheel again and spun it viciously in the opposite direction.  The front sail flew back again, and the men slid face first to the floor.  Water splashed up the side of the ship and covered them all.  Once more Miranda stood up, hoping to see that her sudden anger had caused something to stare at.  There was silence, apart from the clambering of the crew to their feet again.  Cooper rubbed his head, wondering what was going on and Reeves took a hold of his sleeve.  He pulled him up and over to Miranda.

"Capt'n! What was that about!  You've gone mad!"

"I'm not the one who had gone mad! Staring into space when I gave you complete orders!"

"Bu…but capt'n! There was a ma…"

"No buts, Mr. Cooper! Reeves?"

"Capt'n Sparrow, honest! Up in the shrouds!"

Reeves waved his hands, trying to get Miranda to listen, as she was ignoring him completely.  He knew it was no use, so he sighed and turned to face the men below him.   He nodded ordering the men to go back to their posts.  They all slumped and walked away unhappily.  Cooper was wringing his wrists anxiously when Miranda looked down and saw him.

"You too." She told him, but he stayed put.

"Please Capt'n! This is somethin' that you'll want to be knowin' about, honest."

Miranda eyed him suspiciously.

"It is moderately hot.  Perhaps you were hallucinating… for once, Mr. Cooper."

"Right, so we were all seein' things, and all seein' the same thing…" Reeves replied sarcastically.

Miranda looked him up and down meanly.

"Very well.  Tell me what you saw."

Before Reeves or Cooper could open their mouths to speak, there was a loud thud down on the deck.   They leant over the wheel and saw it.  A single heavy sack was sitting on the deck, and a few crew members were looking up into the crow's nest from where it fell.   Miranda and Reeves glanced at each other, and tried to see it from where she was.  Instead she came down onto the deck and stared up.  There was nothing there.  She growled and kicked the bag as hard as she could across the floor.  Everything went silent again, and the men stared at her for an answer.  Suddenly there was a sharp yelp from above.  Their heads darted up to see one of the men fall from the top rail beam and land on the deck.  Miranda leant down to check him but he was unconscious and had a large gash along his face. 

"That wasn't natural."

Reeves shook his head.

"We were tryin' to advise you!"

She stood up and shushed the others that where talking so that she could listen.

There was no noise whatsoever.  However a single coin fell from above them and hit Cooper in the head.  He seized his head in rage and began to run around in circles looking above him.

"Where is 'e!? Where is 'e!?"

Miranda patted Cooper on the shoulder to quieten him.  She pulled her pistol from her jacket and took a shot above her head.  There was a loud yelp, as bits of broken wood fell from the sky.  Still, no one came out.  Nothing happened.

Cooper now found this amusing.  Miranda hated that they knew who the person was and she didn't.  She wanted to ask them, but that way it just seemed to be too easy. 

She cocked the pistol again and took another shot.  Once more there was a shriek and something that sounded like a swear word.  Miranda, frustrated with all of this threw her pistol onto the floor and headed to the shrouds.  She took a hold and began to climb, but she stopped, and watched as another man fell about a meter away from the first, painfully flat onto his back, on top of the bag of treasure.

Miranda was laughing at first, looking at him, and knowing that he was not part of her crew.  Many of the others crowded around him, although they did not help at all.  Rather, they stared up at Miranda, not bothering to look annoyed or scared at all.  Reeves cleared his throat and scratched his head suspiciously.  The man didn't get up, so Miranda took the chance to go over and take control.  She leapt off the shrouds, and the man on his back groaned.  He looked up at them and said clearly,

"Sorry…"

Miranda gasped and covered her mouth.  Reeves waved his hand sarcastically as if he'd waited a long time to do so.

She ran on over and leant over Jack.

"What the heck!? Jack!? What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

She pulled him up, and Jack rubbed his back.

"I don' know, but your booty isn't.  Sorry, luv…"

Miranda smiled and hugged him, only to have Jack push her off.

"I thought that you were going to the Mediterranean.  What happened?"

Jack finally got to his feet and brushed himself off.  She waited for an answer and he stared up at her.

"I came here…"

Some of the crew nodded and smiled, understanding what he meant.

"You changed your mind? That was a waste of time."

Jack put one foot forward and his leg gave way.  He knelt down and nursed a large wound on his right ankle.

"Indefinitely." He replied sardonically. 

Miranda tried to help him, but he hit her away from him.   He limped along the deck and turned around to face everyone, drawing his pistol and aiming it at her.  Miranda stepped forward, a strange smile on her lips.

"Jack, you've tried that before and it didn't succeed, remember?"

Jack just frowned at her and continued to stick the weapon into her face.

"Gimme your hoard! All of it!"

All of the crew laughed and continued what they were doing before hand.  Miranda stared at him.

"Look Jack, I'm sorry I shot you, but it was just one slip-up.  Don't be this way."

"Be what way?" Jack replied, quickly, "I'm Capt'n Jack Sparrow! Gimme me your ship!"

"This is your ship, Jack!"

Jack stopped trying to yell and lowered his pistol.  He glanced around the deck happily and shoved Miranda out of the way, limping up the steps to the helm.

"What is wrong?!" Miranda yelled, "What did they do to you!?"

"Who? Who did what to me? I hope it wasn' anything callous…"

Jack cleared his throat and tried to ignore what was being said. Miranda came up beside him.

There was a few minutes of complete silence, as Miranda watched him carefully.  She put her hand on his shoulder and Jack turned to look at her.  He scanned her face for a second before returning his gaze to the front.  Cooper and Reeves skipped happily up to the front.  Jack spotted them and looked at them funny.

"Are they a bit… peculiar… are they, luv?" He whispered, leaning over to Miranda.

Miranda glared at him shockingly and he chuckled, even though he hadn't seen the expression on her face.  She tried to ignore Jack's behaviour and clicked her fingers.

"Mr. Reeves, take Jack and get his ankle fixed up will you?  His wobbling and swaying like that could make anyone nauseous, and were on a ship in the middle of the ocean."

Reeves giggled at her remark, and Jack flashed her a frown.

"And you call yourself a pirate? You are a woman." He smiled.

Miranda grinned back, but then snatched him by the wrist and pulled him away from the wheel.   Jack gasped in pain, as Miranda twisted his hand, causing him to fall to his knees.

"HAVEN'T WE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS, JACK!?"

Jack opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out.  Instead he made a grunting noise and nodded.  She let go, Jack now nurturing his red wrist.  He stared up at her, quite astounded that she was a woman.

"Perhaps I was dreadfully wrong.  I take it back."

"You just don't want to get hurt again, do you? Poor Jack."

Jack tried not to smile. He looked down at his wrist.

"No." He said softly.

Miranda smiled instead and turned to see Reeves standing there.  Cooper who was next to him was still watching, wide eyed and happy.  He let out a little giggle and Reeves stormed over and seized Jack's arm, pulling him to his feet again.

"Give him something to drink too.  I'll be down there in a while."

Jack pulled himself from Reeves grip and limped over to Miranda.

"But I'm the capt'n of this ship! You said so! Don't be goin' and givin' my crew orders! Only I shall have the honour of doing so! And if I say that I'm in good health…" He paused and looked down at his ankle before looking back at Miranda again, "…Then I'm in good health! Leave me alone!"

Miranda smirked. She knew that he was playing one of those games with her, like when he would get drunk, and Miranda would have to try and guess that his effects had been stolen, even though he couldn't really remember in the first place.

"Aren't you forgetting something Jack?"

He glared at her and waved his hands.

"I forget a lot of things, luv.  So, why don' you tell me what it is, then I'll be able to tell you. Savvy?"

"Don't you already know? You were after all the one that believed it."
"I did?.... I mean… No, I didn'!"  He cried, trying to sound important.

Miranda motioned to Reeves and Cooper.  Once more they snatched his arms, and dragged him down the stairs to the deck below.  Miranda waved to him, as Jack tried desperately to escape.

"Oh, and Mr. Reeves, I've changed my mind.  Don't offer Jack anything.  I wouldn't want to spoil that fantastic memory of his!"

Jack laughed to try and play along.  Miranda took a deep breath.  Suddenly , Reeves and Cooper strained to keep their hold on Jack.  He seized Reeve's hand on his shoulder sleeve and swatted it away.  He then gripped Coopers hand so hard that he squealed and let his arm go.

"But, however…" Jack began, looking rather innocent, "About that drink…?"

Miranda smiled knowingly.  She knew what was coming.

"Jack, Jack, Jack, don't you remember what you promised me? About your drinking problem?"

"Basically…no, it doesn't cross my mind, but something that definitely does, is this…"

Miranda grinned and brushed her fingers down his neck romantically.

"Like I said before, you have a gift for always forgetting things."

Jack shoved her hand away from him, and pushed her out of the way, as if getting ready to escape.

"…Yes, but what I'm trying to say is… there is no drink left.  No rum, nor wine…nothing."

The crew gasped and turned angrily to watch.  They seemed rather mad that their precious drink had apparently disappeared.

Miranda frowned at him, but he just smiled back, trying to take the burden off himself.  Instead he whipped out his pistol and waved it at her.

"I have a gun! It's loaded!"

Reeves and Cooper laughed in the background.  Getting what they found funny, Miranda chuckled a little too.  Soon enough the entire crew had forgot their troubles and laughed along with them.  Jack glanced nervously around him, the pistol trembling in his hand.  The thirty or so men standing there tried desperately hard to keep from snorting.  Miranda, being the only one not in hysterics, stepped forward and quite leisurely took the pistol from his hand.  Jack just glared at her and smiled like he always does.

"What!?"

Miranda cut the smiling, glimpsed once at his pistol and frowned again.

"What on earth do you mean… THERE'S NO RUM!!?"  She cried, tossing the pistol at him, and it landed with a loud thud on the deck.

Jack shielded himself for a second, then outstretched his arms and waved them.

"WHAT!? THERE'S NO RUM!?" He yelled sarcastically but ironically, cowering back once more.

The crew continued laughing, now perhaps harder.  As Miranda raised her hands the crew ceased laughing immediately.  She snatched him by the collar and dragged him closer angrily.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" She bellowed.

Again, Jack slapped her hand off him.

"It went…"  He began, turning to the edge and making a wavy gesture with his hands, before pointing to the ocean way behind the ship.  Miranda raised her hand and slapped him so hard in the back of the head that his hair wrap beads flicked him in the eye.  He yelped and nursed his head and eye at the same, slowly and carefully turning to look at her.

"GIVE ME A BLOODY GOOD REASON WHY YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE US ALL TO DIE OF THIRST!!??"
"But, but…" Jack began, Miranda interrupted.

"I don't care if you are Jack Sparrow!  I don't care if you think you've changed, and I don't care if this action is some kind of phase you're going through but don't think for one second that just cause I'm a woman that you can do as you please with my loot!!"

Jack flinched before looking her up and down oddly.

"Woman? Are you sure? You're not just missing something are you?"

Miranda breathed in and out, trying to stay calm.  Jack had never made her this angry before.  She contained her anger and opened her mouth to speak.

"Jack… Meet me in my stateroom." She grumbled evilly.

The crew watched as she stormed her way past Reeves and Cooper and into her stateroom, slamming the doors behind her.

Jack glanced around the faces peering at him and shrugged.

"Women!?"

There was no clear reply, and rather there was an awkward silence as they continued to stare at him.

He smiled boldly and instantly took off toward the left hand shrouds.  Both Reeves and Cooper darted after him and caught him just as his hand reached for the ropes.  He struggled scornfully, but fell limp, knowing there was no need for it.

Jack opened his mouth to speak.

"Parley!! Parley!!...wait…" He cried, stopping when he realised he was being pulled toward the stateroom, "…I take that back! I take it all back! She's a woman! She's great!"

He looked down at Cooper and smiled.

"Look Jack, you just watch her.  She once sliced a man's thing off and then handed it back, just cause he called her a house maid."

Jack's eyes widened and Cooper shook his head.

"Poor fella never saw that cutlass comin'"

There was silence, except for the sound of Jack beginning to sing softly to himself.  Reeves laughed at his sudden uneasiness.  He patted Jack's shoulder.

"Don' fret Jack.  You be lucky that you are who you are, otherwise she might eye out your liver or somefin'!"

Reeves and Cooper laughed together, Jack trying to play along laughed too, even to his utter terror.

The stateroom doors flew open and Jack was shoved in through them.  Reeves and Cooper grinned at him before slamming the doors behind them.  Miranda was standing at the window, her back facing him.

"Sit, Jack." She said, making him flinch.

He gazed around himself at the room, wondering if there was any way out of it all and sat down in one of the chairs.  The room was very well kept.  It was the same dark brown colour as the rest of the ship, but many objects were hanging from the ceiling, such as glorified birdcages and wind chimes.  There was a marble chess set sitting in the corner on a small side table and in the other was a huge bird of paradise plant, that stood so high it grew down away from the ceiling. 

Jack stopped looking around and shifted in his chair nervously.

"Look luv, I have somethin' else to tell ye."

She turned around and took her own seat.  There was another brief silence.  Jack picked up the small crystal ball sitting on it's stand on her table and passed it from hand to hand.  Miranda cleared her throat aggressively, and remembering what Reeves and Cooper had told him he immediately attempted to put the crystal back in it's place.  The stand slid out from underneath the crystal as the ship rocked to the side, and it hit the table instead.

In a panic, Jack chased it across the table as it rolled over to Miranda who was sitting there silently watching him.  She snatched it up, and Jack took his seat again, apologizing with simple gestures.

Miranda sighed and played innocently with the crystal.

"Jack, at this point in time it is very difficult for me to restrain my anger, so I'll be brief."

Jack stared over the table at her, hoping the rumours weren't true.

"I hope you realise that your mistake of sacrificing that cargo was a burden on yourself, not me? It was coming home to you Jack! It was yours!"  She barked.

"Then why are you so mad?" Jack replied, hoping to ease the situation.

Miranda's eyes widened.  She looked him up and down, leaned over the table and placed the crystal ball back onto it's stand.

"Jack, honestly.  What is wrong?  You are not the same."

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Miranda continued.

"Oh, and what was it that you wished to tell me exactly? You haven't decided to sink our plunder now too, have you!?"

Jack jumped at her sudden change of voice.  He stood up and waved his hands about.

"No, no," He began, "Nothing like that.  It's just, it's more vital than losing cargo…"

Miranda eyed him evilly and Jack paused, "…But…but…that don' mean that the cargo's no' vital! It's, it's just …well… you see, I lied."

"About the rum?" She asked quite happily.

"No, no! That's sunken to the depths by now!"

Again she eyed him cruelly as she didn't want to hear what she'd heard, and Jack continued quickly.

"But, no! It's really… you see, I don' know you.  I don' know who you are.  What your name is.  What's your name, luv?"

Miranda stood up and slapped her hands down on the table, frightening Jack into taking his seat again.

"This is not amusing!  What is it that you lied about!?"

"Honest! I really don' know! Somethin' 'bout Miranda, right?"

She looked him over once more, trying to work out why he was asking such questions.

"Is that all?" She asked.

"No…" Jack started again, now sounding a little more nervous, "… Actually remember before… when, when I told you… 'I'm Capt'n Jack Sparrow! Gimme me your ship!'……….. Well, that is in fact the lie."

Miranda frowned at him and then grinned as if finding it funny.

"What? Something about you're not Jack Sparrow? Jack, Jack, Jack, I told you! I'm not calling you that other name! It would be terribly inappropriate if you called yourself it! Don't bother!"

Jack laughed along with her quite artificially.

"What other name?" He said, still laughing, "I'm not Jack Sparrow! Ha! Ha!"

Miranda still laughed, but Jack stopped and watched on.  She sat down slowly in her chair, one hand covering her face to muffle the laughter.  Her hand was slowly peeled from her face and a gleeful witchlike laughter could be heard echoing around the room.  Jack was staring at her, not rather impressed with her attitude, and crossed his arms in wait.  When Miranda finally looked at him, she had to wipe tears out of her eyes.

"Well this isn't the funniest claim you've made yet!" She had to pause to take a breath, "Remember when I was part of the Pearl's crew and there was that morning you stood at the helm, appearing normal and acting fine.  Gibbs scurried around the ship stating that our captain was a woman.  I thought it had something to do with me seeing as I was the only female on the ship, but when I talked to you my view changed.  You told me that your father worked in a burlesque show and you wanted to be just like him! I couldn't believe it! You had told me earlier that you didn't know your father!  But still, you insisted that your name was Juliana.  You even asked if you could scrounge the only dress I had!  Is this what this is about!?  Did that rum really go out to sea, or did Mr. Gibbs strike you over the head again with a pistol cause he thought you were too intoxicated?"

Jack still wasn't impressed with her humorous ways.  He uncrossed his arms and leant over the table.

"You don't understand! Jack Sparrow is my identical twin brother! God woman!"

Miranda now glared at him seriously.  She thought to herself for a minute or two before leaning forward herself.

"Alright.  This time I'll give you an opportunity to prove it before I make assumptions again."

She waved her hand for him to continue, and he sighed.

He stood up, pulled up his right hand shirt sleeve and there on the top of his forearm was a red sparrow tattoo, almost identical to Jack's.  Miranda gasped and snatched his other arm, pulled up his sleeve and brushed her hand up his other arm where there was no tattoo at all.  Her mouth opened wide, yet she was still brushing his arm.  She glanced up at him, realised that she was wrong, ripped her hand away and apologized.

The now Jack twin looked her over curiously.  She stared at him, still in shock.

"Then… then who are you?"

"My name is Hunter Sparrow.  My brother? Jack? Deserted me in Hawaii's port 'bout twenty years ago! He said he didn' want to have a brother so much like himself.  It was because of his selfishness that I was taken into arms for something he did! I detest him! I can't stand him!  If it wasn' for him everyone in the Caribbean, everyone in the world would know and fear Captain Hunter Sparrow instead!!"