A/N To em0xstatic- No, no one in Roger's family knows he's HIV+. That was an issue early on between Mark and Roger. When Roger first called her during that first weekend when Cass showed up. Mark was telling him how he needs to tell his mother. How it's not fair to her or to Mark if Mark has to just call her up one day and tell her Roger's dead. But don't worry, it gets dealt with soon.
Thanks again.
Kelby
Chapter 84
"Come in!" Mark yelled from the couch at the front door.
After a minute of struggling with the keys, locks and doorknobs, Ginny got up and let a very obviously drunk Collins and Jason in. They stumbled through the door laughing about how the key wouldn't work.
"Uh huh." Was all Mark said as Jason fell into the chair pulling Collins down with him. Roger, Cass and Maureen were quite as Jason continued babbling on.
"So I think Jen's banging a cop." Jason kept going.
"We stopped by," Collins laughed, "but she had the inside deadbolt on. I don't think she wanted any more company." The two of them fell into fits of laughter at that.
"Yeah, I guess." Mark agreed, taking a chip from the bowl that was resting on Cass' stomach.
"So we figured we'd come up here. Seeing as how we've haven't seen you guys in like almost two weeks."
"Yeah, we've been busy." Jason laughed.
"Uh huh." Mark answered as he finished off his beer and looked at Cass.
"Oh you guys are just a barrel of laughs tonight." Jason told them.
"Yeah well, we're just sitting around." Maureen said, eyes going from Mark, Cass and Roger on the couch to Jason and Collins.
Even drunk Collins was getting the feeling something was up. Something wasn't right. They were all sitting around staring at the TV, but not really watching it. Like they were all waiting or something. He got the feeling maybe they should leave. Unfortunately, Jason didn't get that same feeling just then.
Cass picked up the bowl and handed it to Mark. She edged forward on the couch, moving to stand up. Roger got up and pulled her up to her feet before sitting back down. She started to move towards the kitchen.
"Damn Cass!" Jason exclaimed. "I know we haven't seen you in awhile, but damn you got huge! What you got in there anyway?" He laughed hard.
Cass had stopped walking when Jason started speaking. As he talked, everyone watched the expression on Cass' face change, almost crumble as she broke into tears and took off for her room.
"Cass!" Mark and Roger both called after her as they hopped up off the couch heading toward the bedroom.
"Finally." Ginny said getting up from her spot on the floor. "I was beginning to think we'd be sitting here all night waiting for that."
"What's going on? Waiting for what?" Collins was sobering up quickly as he got up off Jason's lap.
"Waiting for Cass to have a meltdown." Maureen finally spoke. Collins and Jason just looked at her, waiting for more explanation. "Her dad called, just before six. Her cousin Anton, the bastard that he is, is dead."
"What happened? Jason sat up, realizing his buzz was definitely gone.
Maureen shrugged. "We were all just sitting around talking about getting dinner. Cass answered the phone. She got real quiet, only said stuff like 'uh huh, okay' and 'I see.' Then after a minute she got a little upset, started yelling into the phone saying 'that's not going to happen' and 'I said I'm not going.' Then she slammed down the phone, walked over to the dryer and started slamming the laundry baskets around."
"So what happened?" Jason asked again.
"We didn't know. She wouldn't say anything. Roger and Mark couldn't find out. She just picked up the laundry and walked into their room." Ginny told them. "That was when he called back and wanted to talk to Roger."
"Her dad wanted to talk to Roger?" Collins asked amazed.
"Yup. Oh Collins you would have been so proud of him. He didn't yell or lose his temper or anything. He just listened and then calmly told him something like sorry but if Cass doesn't want to go, she's not going. I swear Collins, lately sometimes it's like Roger and Mark are actually sharing one brain." Maureen grinned.
"So then what?" Jason asked, realizing he sounded like his sister.
"A few minutes later, she came back out, and sat down. She didn't want to talk about it. Like I said, we've been sitting around waiting for her to have a meltdown."
"So the bastard is actually dead." Jason shook his head. "That's good right? Now he can't bother her. Or the baby."
"How did he die?" Collins asked.
Maureen shrugged again. "Her dad told Roger he had some kind of heart problem. Always had it. Roger said with all the crap he's on, he either OD'ed or his heart probably exploded in his chest."
"Wow." Collins shook his head. "And she's just been sitting here all night?"
"Uh huh."
"Is that gonna make her go into labor?" Jason asked Ginny.
Ginny shrugged. "Maybe. Even if it does it's no big deal now. She's due in two weeks. She could go anytime now and that's okay."
"Oh. Maybe we should go." Collins said standing up.
"Yeah. Listen Mo, tell them I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by what I said." Jason told her.
"It's okay. It had to happen eventually tonight."
"Well call us if you need anything."
"Yeah. Definitely." Jason agreed.
"Okay. You guys gonna get home okay?" Maureen asked.
"Yeah, I think I'm sober now." Jason said blankly.
"Yeah I'm going home too Mo. Holler if you need me."
"Okay. Bye guys." Maureen said, closing the door behind them. She looked at the closed bedroom door and sighed as she sat down on the couch, alone.
****************
When Cass came out of the bathroom Mark and Roger were already in the bedroom. She wiped her eyes and shoved the tissue in her pocket.
"Cass." Roger said softly.
"I'm fine." She said without looking up.
"Cass…"
"I said I'm fine." She snapped at them as she started to sort out the clean laundry in the basket on the bed.
"Cass, Baby…" Roger moved towards her slowly watching her the whole time.
"You know I went hiking in Austria." She pulled laundry out of the basket. "I've gone scuba diving in the islands. I've rock climbed. I've taken about a thousand kick boxing classes. I ran a friggin half marathon for God sake!"
"Cass, Baby… it's okay." Roger whispered.
"Cass it's not your fault." Mark told her.
"You know I used to be really thin. I used to be in incredible shape."
"Baby it's not your fault." Roger came up behind her and took her shaking hands in his. "It's not your fault Baby." He whispered in her ear.
Mark moved the laundry basket and sat on the bed.
"I could have left. I could have gone to school somewhere." She said, pulling one of her hands free from Roger and running it through her hair.
"Cass…" Mark said softly.
"Got a job for a different company. I could have just done something else."
"Cass…" Mark took her hand so she would sit on the bed.
"I should have just got on that plane too. Then none of this would have ever happened."
"No Baby. That's not it."
"It's not your fault Cass. None of it."
By then she started crying again. They lay back on the bed. Roger was laying right behind her, rubbing her stomach and whispering into her hair while Cass rested her head on Mark's shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears.
"Baby it's okay. Don't cry. Please."
"Yeah Cass, please?" Mark begged. "He can't hurt you ever again.
"Mark's right Baby. He can't ever hurt you again. You or the baby. Ever."
******************
They laid there in the dark like that for awhile. Roger realized both Mark and Cass had fallen asleep. Roger laid there listening to them breath. The whole night kept running through his brain. Watching Cass on the phone. Talking to her father. Then waiting. Waiting for Cass to break. Waiting for him and Mark to be able to pick up the pieces if needed.
The she fell apart. And Mark was right there for her. Granted by then he was almost drunk. Roger knew he had had at least five if not six beers by then.
They both had been talking to her. Trying to get her to stop crying. To make her feel better. Both holding her. Both trying to comfort her. That was when she said it. She had been crying. She was almost calmed down. Holding his arms tight around her, his wife, who was still leaning on Mark's shoulder sleepily uttered, "Don't ever leave me." Roger couldn't answer that. He couldn't. He couldn't promise her that. And before he could say anything else, Mark answered her. He could hear the beer in his voice when he said it. "I'll never leave you Cass."
Mark said it and he couldn't. He hated himself for that. He hated Mark for that too. Hated him and loved him for it. He knew Mark was right. He would always be there for her. Even when Roger wouldn't.
He laid there a few more minutes listening to them sleep. Quietly he climbed out of the bed, being careful not to wake them. He walked out to the kitchen and took the juice out of the fridge.
"What do you have against using a glass?" Maureen gave him a small grin so he knew she was kidding.
"Sorry." He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a glass. "What are you doing still up?"
"Couldn't sleep. Is she okay?"
"Yeah, I think so. Maybe. I don't know."
"She's still seeing Elizabeth right?"
"Yeah." He sat down on the couch next to Maureen. "I should probably call her tomorrow. Tell her what's going on. See what she says."
"Probably a good idea." She nodded. "Marky asleep?"
"Yeah." He turned away, thinking back to earlier.
"He had a few beers." She watched him. "Roger are you okay?"
"Yeah." He rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "You know that bastard started sleeping with her when she was thirteen. He stuck a straw up her nose when she was fourteen. Not to mention all the other crap."
"Guess he did us all a favor."
"What?"
"He did himself in. Saved you the trouble. Mark couldn't handle visiting you in prison. He's too much of a pretty boy. Even for the visitor's room."
Roger looked up at her, not sure at first if she was kidding or not. He decided she was by her grin. "Thanks. I think." He rested his head back on the couch.
"What's the matter?"
He sighed. "Why is she so upset? You'd think she'd be happy he's dead. I am."
Maureen thought for a moment. "I can understand that. And I can't blame you for it. But you gotta remember Roger, there was a lot more between them then just hat horrible weekend in Italy."
"What do you mean?" He sat up some.
"Well think about it. Her mom dies when she's like seven. From then on she was basically left alone with housekeepers and stuff. The he came along and got left with her. He was pretty much all she had. He was older then her, paid attention to her." She shrugged. "It's easy to see how it all happened."
"She still should hate him."
"She does. But in some twisted way she probably loved him sorta too."
"Great."
"Not like she loves you dummy. Look, it seems like the only stability she's ever had was after she met Mark. And strangely enough, you."
"Yeah, but…"
"No butts. That's how it is. Look, I'm glad he's dead. For her sake, and yours. Not to mention the baby's." When he didn't say anything she continued. "Nobody has to worry about him showing up and doing any math. I mean you may be some no talent, fuck up loser, pain in the ass, but you'll be a way better as a father for that baby then he ever could."
"Thanks again. I think." He rolled his eyes. "You really think you can love someone but hate them and despise them so much at the same time?"
"Of course. Look at Mark and his dad. Or you and yours."
"Uh, there's only hatred and despise there."
"You think huh?" She just looked at him for a second, deciding not to push it. "Okay how about you and me?"
"What about us?"
"You know, you hate me at times, but you still love and adore me." She grinned.
"You're annoying beyond belief sometimes, but I never really hated you."
"Ah, so you admit you love me then." She laughed. "And you did hate me at times, but it was only because you love Mark."
"Yeah well…"
"No, you were right. But Mark and I are really good examples of hating someone but loving them too. He's so damn good. That's why I love him. And hate him." She shrugged.
"What about him?" He asked, knowing the answer already.
"He loves me. And hates me." She sighed.
"Yeah but you guys are back together." He asked gently, hoping maybe he'll finally get some answers on the whole Mark – Maureen thing.
"Not really." She laughed. "Anyway, you know everything I'm sure."
"Actually, I don't know anything. I think I've been afraid to ask him." He got a small grin.
"Well there's not much to tell. I mean we're not sleeping together or anything."
"You're not?" He sat up again. "But I thought you switched teams again. And you sleep in there all the time."
"Okay, I'm ignoring the team switching comment. But yeah, I sleep in his room a lot, but that's all. We're not having sex Roger."
"Really?"
"Yes really." She let out a long sigh. "I guess I can't blame him. I mean I know I hurt him real bad in the past. I never meant to, it just happened. I guess he doesn't trust me. I think he's waiting to see if I just start doing all that again."
"Are you going to?"
"No! I'm different now. Really. I never wanted to hurt him you know. I was just stupid. And selfish."
"Yeah, I guess you are different now."
"Really, I am."
Roger looked at her for a minute. "Mo, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
He hesitated for a second, not sure he wanted to ask this question. "Back when you and Mark were, um, 'having problems,' that was kinda the same time April and I weren't always doing so great. I mean we shot up a lot, and fought a lot. And occasionally broke up for the night or so."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, so, um, Mark and I used to get into some nasty arguments."
"Yeah, I remember." She said quietly.
"Well a lot of stuff back then is, um, well a little fuzzy."
"What are you trying to say Roger?"
He took a breath. "Back then, did you and me ever…"
"EWWW! God Roger! NO! I mean I said I never meant to hurt Mark! That would have killed him!"
"Oh, good. I mean I was just checking."
"I mean even back then I had my standards." She laughed at the look on his face. "No really Rog, you would never have been a consideration. No matter what, I could never hate Mark enough to do that. I loved him." She shrugged. "I still do."
"What about Joanne?"
"I loved her too. But that doesn't mean we were supposed to be with each other. We both had baggage. Part of mine was Mark. She knew that."
"Yeah, Mark's been dragging you around for years." He gave her a slight grin.
"Well Mark's got baggage too." She looked at him for a second before her eyes traveled to the closed bedroom door where Mark and Cass slept.
"Yeah, I know." He looked down at his empty glass. "I know."
Maureen watched him. "It's not a bad thing Roger. The way he is with you and with Cass. It's just the way he is. Shows you how good he is. One of the things that makes us love him. And hate him. That's just how it is."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Go to bed Davis. You wife needs you. So does your best friend." She got up from the couch.
"Yeah, okay." He stood up and started to step towards his room then stopped. "Hey Mo." He looked at her. "Thanks." He paused for a second. "Don't make me hate you again. Be good to Mark."
She walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "You're welcome. And I'm trying."