A/N So I'm guessing everyone is a little happy about Mark and Maureen? Be a shame when they break up in this chapter. Ha, just kidding!

Well, they finally had the baby. It was a long time coming, but it was worth it. Remember I wrote most of this while I was home and pregnant, so believe me I understand the waiting on the baby thing.

As some of you know, in real life my son, who is 15 months now, and was like one week old when I started posting this, is named Collin. That was something I had decided on in real life and liked it so much that I worked it into my story. And yes, I did base the name and the spelling on the character of Collins. Such is the life of a truly pathetic Renthead.

Thank you all for sticking with me this far. It's been great. We have a little farther to go, but we are starting to wind down towards the end. And again, pay attention and note the time changes.

Kelly

To scarlett (scarlett212@hotmail.com) – I didn't really intend it to be the impact that Collins had on Cass' life, more like just Roger's. And that is supposed to be implied throughout and based on previous knowledge of the story line. The conversation between Mark and Maureen explains it in little more detail. How Mark and Collins saved Roger so Roger and Mark could save Cass. But if the first didn't happen, the second could never have happened. Plus I didn't want the baby to have the first name Mark.

Chapter 86

"Hey Baby." Roger grinned, opening the door to Cass' room.

"Hey." She smiled up at him from the baby.

"Hey Collin. Hey buddy." He ran a hand over the baby's fuzzy head as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "How are you?" He kissed her.

"Tired still. He eats like every three hours. Plus nurses and people coming and going. So I keep waking up. I'll be happy to go home."

"Yeah." Roger grinned, kissing her again. "I'll be happy when you come home too. How is he doing?"

"He's perfect." She grinned down at the baby. "Except he bites."

"He bites? He doesn't have any teeth." Roger laughed.

"It doesn't matter. He still bites and it still hurts."

"Sorry." He put his hands under the sleeping baby, sliding him into his arms. "Hey buddy. Stop biting your Mommy. That's my job."

"Roger!" She laughed. "Behave. Besides your mom said it shouldn't hurt as much in a few days."

"When did you talk to my mom?" He asked, never looking up from the baby."

"This morning. She and your Aunt Cathy came up to see him."

"I didn't know she was coming back today."

"Uh huh. She said she would come out and stay Monday and Tuesday with us if we wanted. She figured we'd have plenty of help over the weekend and may need a little help once everyone goes back to work. I sort of jumped at the chance of having your mother come over. Considering she and Ginny are the only ones who have any clue what they're doing. Is that okay? You're not mad are you?"

"No." He looked up at her. "It might be a good idea. Did Mark come by?"

"Yes. I heard you scared him half to death this morning."

Roger grinned. "Yeah he didn't realize I'd come home this morning. Actually it was pretty funny."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Not really. Why?"

"Mo came by before work. Acting all goofy and stuff. It took some prodding but I finally got it out of her."

"What?"

"Let's just say I think they worked out some of the issues in their relationship."

Roger just looked at her for a second. "Oh God! They did it didn't they?"

"Don't be crude!" She laughed. "Don't listen to your daddy." She told the baby who had woken up and was starting to cry for his next meal. "At least when he's being crude. The rest of the time he's brilliant."

"Yeah right." He laughed. "Your mommy's the brilliant one, I was just lucky. Real lucky." He kissed him on the head before handing him back to Cass.

****************

"Oh don't cry. Please, please, don't cry. Please."

"Um, Mark? Begging may work with Mo," Jason laughed, "but I don't think it works with babies."

"Oh this from the guy who was singing Jingle Bells to him earlier." Collins laughed.

"It was the only thing I could remember all the words to at the time." He grinned.

"Where's your sister?"

"I don't know. It's not like she knows what she's doing any better than we do." Jason told him. "Where's Cass and Roger anyway? Or Mo?"

"Mo's at work and they're sleeping. For some stupid reason they thought the three of us would be able to handle just watching him for a couple of hours while they slept." Mark rocked the bassinet that Alison and supposedly Benny hand sent them in an effort to quiet the baby.

"Maybe he's hungry." Collins told them.

"He can't be hungry, Cass just fed him. Besides even if he was hungry, it's not like there's anything any of us could do about it." He shook his head. "Get the door." He told Jason as someone started knocking.


Jason walked over and opened the door. "Hi!" Molly said walking in, followed by Mrs. Cohen.


"Molly? Mom! What are you doing here?"

"Is that lasagna?" Collins asked, sniffing.

"Hello Sweetie. Hello Tom." She said handing Collins the two large pans of lasagna as they walked in. "Molly wanted to see the baby and I figured you could use some food."

"Oh he's so cute!" Molly exclaimed.

"I never thought I'd say this," Mark whispered to himself, "but I'm really glad to see you Mom. He won't stop crying and Cass and Roger are asleep and we don't' know what we're doing. Oh and thanks for the lasagna."

"Oh he is beautiful. Could he be hungry?"

"No he just ate. Maybe he's sick."

"Maybe he just wants to be picked up." She lifted him out of the bassinet. "Did he burp?"

"I don't know!" Mark said exasperated.

Mrs. Cohen started to pat him on the back as he let out a burp that seemed way to loud for something his size.

"Oh yeah, he's definitely Roger's kid." Jason laughed.

Collins shook his head. "Um, Mrs. Cohen this is Jason, my boyfriend."

"That's better right sweetie? Your tummy feel better." She asked Collin before looking up at Collins and Jason. "Nice to meet you. How are you doing Tom?"

"Okay. Still teaching."

"Let me hold him!" Molly said taking the baby from her mother. "He smells so good. I still can't believe they named him after you two dorks." The baby quieted down and settled in, going to sleep in her arms. "See Mark. It's not hard. When they cry you just either feed them, change them or pick them up."

"Good. If it's that simple than you need to stick around till Cass wakes up, in case he needs changing."

"Oh please!" Molly shook her head, as she set Collin back in the bassinet before walking into the kitchen to join Collins and Jason.


"Oh Mark!" Mrs. Cohen laughed. "It's not that bad!" She looked into the bassinet, adjusting the blanket over him. The sat there for awhile making small talk. About his latest film project. Molly's graduation. Her 18th birthday party in August. And Cindy's new house. When they made it all the way around to his aunt's gallbladder surgery, Mark had to ask.

"Um, Mom? Why exactly are you here anyway? You never come here. You hate driving into the city. And you really hate the Village."

"I told you, I figured you could use some food and Molly wanted to see the baby. So did I. Plus we brought down the baby gifts."

"You brought baby gifts? You understand this is Roger's kid right?"

"Oh for God sake Mark! I'm not a monster! I mean I've known Roger almost his entire life. It's not like I hate him or anything. Really Mark! And besides, if the only way I get grandchildren from you is via Roger, I'll take what I can get."

"Really?"

"Yes really. You know Mark I always really liked Roger. He was a good kid. I always felt bad about all the problems he had. And the drugs scared the crap out of me. The way you worshipped the ground he walked on scared me half to death too. But he's different now. I know that. I know you had a lot to do with that to. I'm proud of you for that."

"You are?" Mark asked amazed.

She looked at him surprised. "Of course I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you, but especially for that. I mean you don't have the best track record for sticking with some things. Working with your father. College. Some of your films. That Buzzline job. Relationships. But you always stuck with Roger. No matter what. You never let him down. Him or any of your friends, but especially him. That's why I wasn't surprised when you told me what they named him. That's why I'm proud of you."

"Wow. I never knew that."

"I'm sorry." She looked down at the baby, adjusting the blanket again as he stirred in his sleep. "You should have known that. I should have told you. We should have told you. I'm sorry."

"We?" Mark said sarcastically.

"Yes we. You know your father feels the same way. Really he does, even if he doesn't admit it. He knows about yours and Roger's relationship. He doesn't understand it, but he's proud of the way you stuck by him. We both are."

"I… thanks Mom. Really." He could feel his face getting hot.


"You're welcome." She smiled at him, picking up the baby, holding him tight. "I love that baby smell." She smiled. "I miss it. Not all of it. The getting up at all hours of the night for feedings and changings. That fear of not knowing what I'm doing. All that. That's why I'm ready to be the grandma. All the good stuff and a lot less of the worry. Which by the way gets excessive when they're in high school and never really ends. Even when they're your age."

"Great. I'm really looking forward to this now." Mark laughed.

"You guys will do fine. All of you." She smiled.

Just then the bedroom door opened and Roger came out yawning. "Hey. Hey Mrs. Cohen. What are you doing here?"

"Molly and I wanted to see the baby. He's beautiful Roger. Really."

"Thanks." He grinned, walking into the kitchen where he started talking to Molly and the guys.

"Well we should get going." She said standing up and setting the baby back into the bassinet. "As sweet as he is, with all of you falling all over him, that baby's gonna get spoiled." She smiled down at him. "But maybe that's okay."

Later that night, Roger was sitting on the couch playing his guitar while the baby was sleeping next to his leg on the couch.

"Cass sleeping again?" Mark asked, sitting down handing Roger a beer.

"No, she did some stuff on the computer then went to take a shower. Where's Mo?"

"She went down to Jen's for something."

Roger nodded, picking out cords on his guitar. "So what's going on with you and Mo?"

"I don't know." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I guess we're sort of trying it again."

Roger never looked up, he just kept focusing on his guitar. "Good."

"Good? Did you just say 'good'? Were you even listening to me?"

Roger grinned but still didn't look up. "I heard you. You said you and Mo were going out again. And I said good."

"I'm sorry. I thought you were my roommate, but I must be mistaken. Mark Cohen, nice to met you." He held out his hand with a stupid grin on his face.

Finally Roger stopped playing the guitar and looked at him. "I said good. It's good for you and her. You guys are meant to be together."

"We'll see." Mark said, putting his feet up on the table in front of him.

Roger played for a few more minutes before he spoke again. "I heard your mom today." Roger told him, not looking up from his fingers on the strings.

"How much?"

"All the important stuff."

"Oh…"

"She was right you know. You never let me down. Ever."

"Yeah, well…"

"Ever. Thanks Mark. Really."

"Yeah, yeah." Mark blushed. "Don't go getting all mushy on me." He stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. "You go almost six months barely saying a word. You spend years being a disconnected emotional hermit and now you have one kid and suddenly your mister sensitive and emotional. Geeze! And I thought Cass was the hormonally unbalanced one." He laughed.

"Bite me Cohen!" Roger laughed at him, still playing the guitar as Mark walked away towards his room laughing.

***************

"Oww, oww, oww."

"Here put another pillow under him to raise him up." Joanie helped her prop the baby up more. "If you get a better angle it shouldn't hurt as much."

"Oww. Thanks." She yawned.


"Sweetie take a nap after this. I'll watch him. You guys get some rest. You look beat." She went back to folding the laundry she had in the basket.


"Mom you want a soda?"

"Sure."

Roger brought her a soda and sat down next to Cass, watching the baby nurse.

"Joanie you don't have to do that."

"I don't mind. I hear a washer and drying in your apartment in the city is a luxury."

"Yeah." Roger laughed. "It's a good thing too. That's just since last Friday. You make a lot of laundry don't you?" Roger said to the baby. "You and your Aunt Mo."

Cass laughed at Roger letting Collin wrap his little hand around her finger while the other one flailed around.

"Oww. How can you have such sharp little nails and only be five days old?" She rubbed at her chest where he scratched her.

"It doesn't take long. Do you have nail clippers?"

"Yes." She turned to Roger. "They're in the drawer in our bathroom. I put them in one of those amber prescription bottles so they'd be easy to find, they're so little."

"Okay." He stood up and started towards the bedroom when the phone rang. "Hello?" He grinned. "Hey Izzy."

"I'll get them." Joanie said, standing up with the laundry basket.


"Thanks Joanie." Suddenly as Joanie stepped into their bedroom a realization ran though her mind. "Roger!"

The fear and urgency in her voice made Roger look up. "Iz I gotta go." He hung up the phone not waiting for an answer. "What's wrong? What's the matter?" He rushed to the couch.


"Your mom! She went to get he nail clippers!"

"So?"

"They're in the drawer!" She was almost crying. "The drawer in the bathroom! I'm sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh. It's okay Baby." He brushed a tear off her cheek as he stood up and walked into their room. "Mom?"

Joanie was just standing in the bathroom holding the amber pill vial. Just staring at it. Almost frozen except for the silent tears that ran down her cheeks.

"Mom." He reached out grabbing her shoulder with one hand and taking the pills with the other. "Mom." He said again softly.

"Oh God Roger." The hoarse voice barely making it out of her throat.


"It's okay Mom." He hugged her close. "It's okay."

"Oh God Roger. Why didn't you tell me?"

He moved her over and sat them on the bed. "What was I gonna say? 'Oh by the way, on top of being a junkie I got AIDS too'?"

"How could you not of told me? Damn it! It's not fair! I just got you back!" She broke down crying.

He hugged her again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Mom. I should have told you. I know I should have. Mark's been trying to get me to tell you for a long time."

"How long?"

"A long time. A little over five years."

She looked up at him. "Five years. You've been HIV positive for five years." She shook her head, running her hands though her hair. "Oh God, that's when your girlfriend killed herself. And when you got clean. That's why isn't it?"

He let out a long sigh. "Yeah. That's why April killed herself and that's how I ended up getting clean. But if I didn't come up positive then," he shook his head, "I never would have gotten clean. And then I'd either be dead by now or positive anyway."

"I should have known." She wiped at her face. "I should have known! I'm a nurse damn it! I'm a nurse and you were a junkie and I should have known! I should have done more to get you cleaned up. To get you off drugs." She was sobbing through her words, hardly able to breathe as she clung to him.

"Mom you couldn't have done anything. I wasn't gonna quit till I was ready to quit. There's nothing you could have done. Nothing that would have changed anything. Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But it's the truth, you knowing wouldn't have changed anything." He hugged her close.

"But you're okay now? What does you doctor say?"

"He says I'm fine. And he's a good doctor. In a real office, not just the clinic any more. I got real good insurance through Cass. As a matter a fact the doctor cut my dosage down from where it was when I was at the clinic. So yeah, I'm okay. I'm gonna die someday, but not today okay?"

He held her for a few minutes as she sobbed. Out in the living room they could hear the baby fussing. "Oh God Roger! If you… then Cass? And the baby! Oh God!"

"No mom listen. Cass and Collin are fine. Okay. They're fine."

"But…"

"Roger…" Cass said softly from the open doorway. He looked up to see her holding the baby. "We're going to go lay down in Mark's room. You need to tell her. You need to tell her everything."

"Cass…"

She looked down at the baby. "She needs to know. It's better if she knows now instead of later. You need to tell her. All of it."

Silently he nodded his head as she turned and walked to Mark's room.

"What else?"

"It's a long story Mom. A long story." And he told her. He told her about April. And about Mimi. And about Mimi dying and how once again he all but shut down. Then Cass showed up on Labor Day weekend. His Cass. His beautiful, wonderful Cass. All beaten, bruised and broken, but still beautiful. He told her how he fell in love with her and he told her about what happened in Italy. What Anton did to her. That Anton was really Collin's father, not him. Roger realized out of all of it, that was the hardest part to say aloud. That Anton was really Collin's father. He had almost forgotten it himself. But there it was, laid out there. In Roger's mind that fact ruined more things than the entire world finding out he was HIV positive.

"So that's it." He sighed again. "That's everything. I'm sorry Mom. I'm really sorry."

"So am I Sweetie. So am I." She took a deep shuttering breath. "But I guess I'm relieved to know. Somewhere in the back of my mind I guess I always knew it was possible. Probable. I'd rather have you back and know now then get a phone call from Mark out of the blue telling me you were dead. I already had enough fears about that one."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Joanie took another deep breath. "Okay. Enough sorry's. It won't change anything. I'm just glad I've got you back." She hugged him tight. "And right now, you're doing fine. And Cass is fine. And my grandson is fine. That's the important thing right now." She tried to smile.

Roger realized what she said. Her grandson. After all that. After what he just told her, about himself and Cass, it didn't change anything. She still loved him. And Cass. And she still loved his son. Her grandson.