"Geez, don't even bother to wait for me to try it out." Draco grumbled when
he and Hermione had returned. Harry sent him a sharp glare, sick of the
blonde's complaints. The boy had been whining about not getting a chance
to look in the Mirror of Erised ever since he had come back from the
holidays. Draco glared back.
"Don't bicker."
"Easy for you to say," Draco snapped at Blaise. "You got to look in the mirror. I didn't even get the chance."
"Shut up, you moron." Harry snarled, patience fried by Draco's self- absorption.
Draco, Blaise, and Cepheus turned to gape at him. Draco's face melted from astonishment to pure rage in less than three seconds.
"How dare you!"
"Easily! You sit there and grumble about how YOU can't do anything, how we never include YOU! You only think about yourself! Grow up Draco!" Harry didn't even pause to think about what he was saying. All the pent up anger and rage he'd been feeling flew through his mouth and hit Draco like a slap in the face. Draco turned bright red.
"Me? I'm self-absorbed? Look at you! 'Oh, I've been on the streets for a year, pity me! Hey, look at me, I'm Harry Potter! Look at me, I've been abused and take every chance I can to show off my scarred arms'!"
There was dead silence in the common rooms. Every Slytherin was staring at the two boys.
Harry's face lost all color. He stared at Draco for a moment before turning red. He stood up and the common room went dark.
"You presume to know about what happened to me! You think I like this? You think I love the attention? You think I wanted my uncle to hit me and punch me and cut me? You think I wanted my aunt screeching at me to do every little chore until my back ached and my muscles seized up? You think I wanted my cousin to beat up on me and show me off to his friends so that they could tell me what a freak I am? You think I wanted every one I thought cared about me telling me I was worthless until I believed it?" It was pitch black now, even though the sun was shining outside, and a strange silver light surrounded Harry. "You think I want everyone to know my name and think I'm some kind of hero? Do you? DO YOU?"
Silence reigned. The pitch black evaporated as Harry realized what he'd just said.
He wheeled around and walked quickly through the portrait hole, leaving a shocked silence behind him. He stumbled through the dungeon corridors, getting himself further and further away from the common room, eyes half shut. Finally he ran smack into a wall and tumbled to the ground. He lay there, sprawled, struggling against the tears. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. The tears fell.
Severus watched his son from a shadowed corner. The boy had come tearing down here from the middle of nowhere and ran headlong into a wall. A very Gryffindor thing to do. Severus watched him, quiet as a mouse.
His black hair was covering his face, but from the way he was shaking, Sev was sure the boy was trying not to cry. He wondered for a moment what could have caused such a reaction in the child.
Then, against his will, Severus moved forward.
Harry's eyes were squeezed shut, but tears managed to crawl out anyway. Rasping sobs hacked their way into his throat. He squashed his legs against his chest.
Then there was warmth. A peaceful, warm darkness. A black cloak fluttered around his shoulders and a warm hand rested on his head. Harry slowly looked up, eyes red with tears and face flushed. Professor Snape was kneeling beside him, concern in the darkness of his eyes.
Without thinking Harry flung his arms around his professor. There was a moment of shocked silence, and Harry feared rejection -
. but slender arms circled around him and he breathed a shaky sigh of relief. The arms tightened and he felt Snape's breath on his forehead.
"He-told me-told me I wanted-wanted Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia and Dudley d-doing all that st-st-stuff-" Harry sobbed out. A hand smoothed his hair.
"Sh," Professor Snape hushed him, his voice gentle. Harry fell silent, fighting the sobs.
Dumbledore stood guard at the bend of the next corridor. He'd seen Severus and Harry. He knew Severus was going to tell the boy soon.
The sound of thumping footsteps reached Albus' ears. He quickly cast a two- way Silencing charm on Harry and Severus and turned to meet the on-comers.
"Professor!" Blaise Zabini, Harry's very first friend, skidded to a halt. Cepheus Major ran into her before stopping.
Albus bent down to speak to the two first-years.
"Listen closely. Harry is at an important stage of his life right now. I assure you he is perfectly safe. You may not see him until tomorrow. Inform your friends of this." He swallowed the urge to add that they should tell Draco to be a little less arrogant.
Eyes wide, Blaise nodded. Cepheus gave him a slightly suspicious look before turning and walking away. Blaise followed.
Albus turned back to look at Severus and his son before removing the Silencing Charm and leaving them in peace.
Harry felt himself being lifted into his professor's arms and carried a distance.
Severus knew this was the time to tell Harry. The very time when he needed a friend, a father. He lifted the boy up in his arms and carried him to his own chambers, grateful that no one was out of bed at this time.
He set his son down on the worn black couch in front of a fire that was brought to life for the first time in many, many years. The warmth that filled the room in seconds was a relief to Severus, who had long since forced himself to remain in the cold. He slumped down in a second black couch that mirrored the first.
Harry sniffed quietly and opened his puffy eyes. He was in Professor Snape's quarters. He watched the fire for a moment before turning to look at his Potions Professor.
The man was slouched in his seat, pale face slack. With a start, Harry recognized some of the features on Snape's face now that it wasn't twisted in a sneer. The hooked nose wasn't quite so prominent. The thin lips were slightly parted in a human-like gesture. Harry could see that his eyebrows were actually quite nicely arched. His eyes. luminous black eyes, focused on nothing in particular. Professor Snape wasn't quite the greasy bat most people proclaimed him to be.
"Professor?" whispered Harry, afraid to disturb him from this unexpected peacefulness.
"Harry," Snape said softly as his black eyes focused on the boy before him. Harry blinked. Snape said his name as if it were something wonderful. not the same way he usually spat it out. "I have something to tell you."
Harry stared at him for a long moment. "What is it?"
There was silence for a minute or two. Snape seemed to be struggling with words. Finally, he began. "What do you know of your parents?"
Again, Harry blinked. "My mum was Lily Potter. My dad was James Potter."
"That's it?" Snape asked in surprise.
"I know my mum died to save me, and that Voldemort killed my dad."
Snape sighed. "Two out of four, Harry."
"What?" Harry said, confused.
"Your mum's name was Lily, and she died to save you."
The wheels turned in Harry's head. That meant that James Potter wasn't his dad, and Voldemort didn't kill him. His eyes widened.
"Is James Potter alive?"
"No. James Potter was killed when Godric's Hollow was attacked."
Harry's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"If James Potter isn't my dad, then who is?"
"I am."
Silence reigned for about thirty seconds.
"What do you mean, you are? You can't be my dad! How could this be?"
"Lily Evans was a good friend of James," Snape interrupted the flow of Harry's questions. "But she was a better friend to me. We were both outcasts, misfits. She did her best at school because she had to prove she wasn't just some Mudblood." Harry flinched. "I did my best at everything to prove to my father I wasn't just a scrawny little kid.
"At first, I scared Lily. She in my year, but I was much taller than she was. She thought I was the evil, slimy Slytherin who was destined to be a Death Eater. But when we were in second year, the Potions professor asked me to tutor her. Potions was her worst subject. I agreed, though reluctantly. By the time school was out for the Christmas Holidays, she knew me and I knew her, and we were friends.
"Potter and his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, had taken a liking to her. She was a Gryffindor, so they were quick to make friends with her. They knew I tutored her. Potter thought he was better than me. Black used me as entertainment. Pettigrew was afraid of me. Lupin sympathized from a distance.
"No matter how much they tried to convince her that I was evil, she stayed my friend.
"But to the rest of the school, we didn't like being paired up like that. So when our friendship evolved into something more, we had to hide it. I would glare and call her a Mudblood, and she would glare back and call me a slimy Slytherin. We had good fun laughing at our stupid insults in private. Then, after taking our History of Magic O.W.L.s in fifth year, Potter and Black went too far. They hung me upside down and nearly choked me with soap. Your mother saw and came running. She almost gave us away, then-demanding for Potter to let me go. Potter had developed quite the crush on her by then. He bargained that he would let me go and never touch me again if she would go out with him. She said no. Potter was furious." Snape shivered, remembering. Harry was on the edge of his seat, fascinated. "He humiliated me worse that day than he ever could have dreamed. It was my worst memory of my school years.
"When Lily and I graduated, we wanted to get married. But Voldemort had offered to take me in. When Voldemort offers something, you do not refuse. I told Lily horrible lies; I told her I didn't love her, I told her she was nothing more than a Mudblood. Her tears broke my heart. My words broke hers.
"Lily married James. They were the perfect couple, dwelling in the perfect house, living the perfect life. I kept away from them as best I could. But one night I couldn't stand it any longer. I went to her window, watched the moonlight pale her blood-red hair. She caught me. I don't need to tell you what happened then, only that she forgave me for all my sins and horrible words.
"When you were born, you looked enough like Lily to mask the features you inherited from me. You have her eyes, her nose, and her chin. You have my cheeks, my hair, and my bone structure. You were a beautiful child. And everyone thought you were James'. Even I thought you were James'.
"On Halloween, when you were only a year old, Voldemort attacked. Potter was killed. Lily was killed. I came too late. The sight of Lily, lying in the corridor, still and limp as a rag doll, has haunted me for ten years. When I saw you, crying for your mother . . . . Even then, I thought you were James' son. But Lily knew. She knew you were mine. She still gave her life for yours. You survived because her love for you was too great to be overcome by any spell."
Snape finished abruptly in a whisper. There were tears in his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and looked at Harry.
"Did my mother give me my name, as well?" Harry asked softly. Snape smiled.
"No. Potter named you after his own father. It is not what Lily would have named you. It is not what I would have named you." He answered. Harry paused before nodding.
"Someday I'll ask you what you would have named me. But not today."
Snape nodded in agreement.
For a moment, father and son stared at each other. Then Harry was in Snape's arms, thinking a new word in cadence with a new feeling in his heart-father.
A/N: Yes, kick me in the buttocks and murder me on the spot. I haven't updated in months. I sorely apologize and promise to get a move on. One warning: things stop being smack on cannon right here. I'm going for the AU dip. Oh, and by the way-any suggestions on Harry's real name?
Reviews:
ennui2: Umm thanks. if you mean Harry's snake, her name is Sadie, but yeah. Thanks.
Heaven's Reaper: That's ok I like your review anyway!
Fizzysoda: Snape has given them no reason to believe he isn't doing it. If McGonagall had been hexing Harry's broom in the canon series and she was doing the odd things, they'd suspect her. Thanks!
Desert Fox: Well you don't read the canon so you don't know what happens. You have to read the canon. And then you go around saying 'Blaise and Harry are going to smooch' and that annoys me because they're eleven and how do you know they're gonna get together anyway! But ok. Yes Dumbledore does know about Snape being Harry's father! Did you read the part with Snape getting shampoo from Dumbledore??? Dumbledore was telling him to tell Harry!! See this is what makes me mad. You don't seem to actually read the story.
Arctic Wolf2: Well, we'll see. I'm trying to post more frequently so I can move on to second year, but . . .
Lightning Rain: Keep reading silly! My first thought was the same as yours but I figured that since I haven't even done that I couldn't very well write it.
Smacks Killer: Thanks!
Arials17: More is coming!
Adenara Yatman: Thank you!
Simple Confusion: Glad you like it.
Casey: No I'm not hospitalized, don't worry. I'm working on it!
Boomerang-chan: Yeah, I want Harry's necklace, too. Ooh, your story idea sounds cool! Just do me a HUGE favor and don't you dare make her a Mary Sue. Ooh I like Misua! Tell her I sympathize with weird crushes. I've had about five. Three are on book characters that don't even exist.
Tati 1: Gosh . . . I didn't think it was that good . . .
Charlie-potter1: Thank ya! I shall.
,(): Thank you.
Bitchkitten: You have such a lovely username. I love Slytherin Harry too- he's not meant to be a goody goody Gryff!
Silver Lady: Yes, yes, I know, you're going to chew me out. I cower before your wrath!!
,(): I'm so sorry. I've been so neglectful. I'll try my best to update more often.
Dracos Girl 8706: I love you! You motivated me.
Once again, I apologize. Expect the new chapter soon, and be sure to send a review to hustle me along.
"Don't bicker."
"Easy for you to say," Draco snapped at Blaise. "You got to look in the mirror. I didn't even get the chance."
"Shut up, you moron." Harry snarled, patience fried by Draco's self- absorption.
Draco, Blaise, and Cepheus turned to gape at him. Draco's face melted from astonishment to pure rage in less than three seconds.
"How dare you!"
"Easily! You sit there and grumble about how YOU can't do anything, how we never include YOU! You only think about yourself! Grow up Draco!" Harry didn't even pause to think about what he was saying. All the pent up anger and rage he'd been feeling flew through his mouth and hit Draco like a slap in the face. Draco turned bright red.
"Me? I'm self-absorbed? Look at you! 'Oh, I've been on the streets for a year, pity me! Hey, look at me, I'm Harry Potter! Look at me, I've been abused and take every chance I can to show off my scarred arms'!"
There was dead silence in the common rooms. Every Slytherin was staring at the two boys.
Harry's face lost all color. He stared at Draco for a moment before turning red. He stood up and the common room went dark.
"You presume to know about what happened to me! You think I like this? You think I love the attention? You think I wanted my uncle to hit me and punch me and cut me? You think I wanted my aunt screeching at me to do every little chore until my back ached and my muscles seized up? You think I wanted my cousin to beat up on me and show me off to his friends so that they could tell me what a freak I am? You think I wanted every one I thought cared about me telling me I was worthless until I believed it?" It was pitch black now, even though the sun was shining outside, and a strange silver light surrounded Harry. "You think I want everyone to know my name and think I'm some kind of hero? Do you? DO YOU?"
Silence reigned. The pitch black evaporated as Harry realized what he'd just said.
He wheeled around and walked quickly through the portrait hole, leaving a shocked silence behind him. He stumbled through the dungeon corridors, getting himself further and further away from the common room, eyes half shut. Finally he ran smack into a wall and tumbled to the ground. He lay there, sprawled, struggling against the tears. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. The tears fell.
Severus watched his son from a shadowed corner. The boy had come tearing down here from the middle of nowhere and ran headlong into a wall. A very Gryffindor thing to do. Severus watched him, quiet as a mouse.
His black hair was covering his face, but from the way he was shaking, Sev was sure the boy was trying not to cry. He wondered for a moment what could have caused such a reaction in the child.
Then, against his will, Severus moved forward.
Harry's eyes were squeezed shut, but tears managed to crawl out anyway. Rasping sobs hacked their way into his throat. He squashed his legs against his chest.
Then there was warmth. A peaceful, warm darkness. A black cloak fluttered around his shoulders and a warm hand rested on his head. Harry slowly looked up, eyes red with tears and face flushed. Professor Snape was kneeling beside him, concern in the darkness of his eyes.
Without thinking Harry flung his arms around his professor. There was a moment of shocked silence, and Harry feared rejection -
. but slender arms circled around him and he breathed a shaky sigh of relief. The arms tightened and he felt Snape's breath on his forehead.
"He-told me-told me I wanted-wanted Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia and Dudley d-doing all that st-st-stuff-" Harry sobbed out. A hand smoothed his hair.
"Sh," Professor Snape hushed him, his voice gentle. Harry fell silent, fighting the sobs.
Dumbledore stood guard at the bend of the next corridor. He'd seen Severus and Harry. He knew Severus was going to tell the boy soon.
The sound of thumping footsteps reached Albus' ears. He quickly cast a two- way Silencing charm on Harry and Severus and turned to meet the on-comers.
"Professor!" Blaise Zabini, Harry's very first friend, skidded to a halt. Cepheus Major ran into her before stopping.
Albus bent down to speak to the two first-years.
"Listen closely. Harry is at an important stage of his life right now. I assure you he is perfectly safe. You may not see him until tomorrow. Inform your friends of this." He swallowed the urge to add that they should tell Draco to be a little less arrogant.
Eyes wide, Blaise nodded. Cepheus gave him a slightly suspicious look before turning and walking away. Blaise followed.
Albus turned back to look at Severus and his son before removing the Silencing Charm and leaving them in peace.
Harry felt himself being lifted into his professor's arms and carried a distance.
Severus knew this was the time to tell Harry. The very time when he needed a friend, a father. He lifted the boy up in his arms and carried him to his own chambers, grateful that no one was out of bed at this time.
He set his son down on the worn black couch in front of a fire that was brought to life for the first time in many, many years. The warmth that filled the room in seconds was a relief to Severus, who had long since forced himself to remain in the cold. He slumped down in a second black couch that mirrored the first.
Harry sniffed quietly and opened his puffy eyes. He was in Professor Snape's quarters. He watched the fire for a moment before turning to look at his Potions Professor.
The man was slouched in his seat, pale face slack. With a start, Harry recognized some of the features on Snape's face now that it wasn't twisted in a sneer. The hooked nose wasn't quite so prominent. The thin lips were slightly parted in a human-like gesture. Harry could see that his eyebrows were actually quite nicely arched. His eyes. luminous black eyes, focused on nothing in particular. Professor Snape wasn't quite the greasy bat most people proclaimed him to be.
"Professor?" whispered Harry, afraid to disturb him from this unexpected peacefulness.
"Harry," Snape said softly as his black eyes focused on the boy before him. Harry blinked. Snape said his name as if it were something wonderful. not the same way he usually spat it out. "I have something to tell you."
Harry stared at him for a long moment. "What is it?"
There was silence for a minute or two. Snape seemed to be struggling with words. Finally, he began. "What do you know of your parents?"
Again, Harry blinked. "My mum was Lily Potter. My dad was James Potter."
"That's it?" Snape asked in surprise.
"I know my mum died to save me, and that Voldemort killed my dad."
Snape sighed. "Two out of four, Harry."
"What?" Harry said, confused.
"Your mum's name was Lily, and she died to save you."
The wheels turned in Harry's head. That meant that James Potter wasn't his dad, and Voldemort didn't kill him. His eyes widened.
"Is James Potter alive?"
"No. James Potter was killed when Godric's Hollow was attacked."
Harry's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"If James Potter isn't my dad, then who is?"
"I am."
Silence reigned for about thirty seconds.
"What do you mean, you are? You can't be my dad! How could this be?"
"Lily Evans was a good friend of James," Snape interrupted the flow of Harry's questions. "But she was a better friend to me. We were both outcasts, misfits. She did her best at school because she had to prove she wasn't just some Mudblood." Harry flinched. "I did my best at everything to prove to my father I wasn't just a scrawny little kid.
"At first, I scared Lily. She in my year, but I was much taller than she was. She thought I was the evil, slimy Slytherin who was destined to be a Death Eater. But when we were in second year, the Potions professor asked me to tutor her. Potions was her worst subject. I agreed, though reluctantly. By the time school was out for the Christmas Holidays, she knew me and I knew her, and we were friends.
"Potter and his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, had taken a liking to her. She was a Gryffindor, so they were quick to make friends with her. They knew I tutored her. Potter thought he was better than me. Black used me as entertainment. Pettigrew was afraid of me. Lupin sympathized from a distance.
"No matter how much they tried to convince her that I was evil, she stayed my friend.
"But to the rest of the school, we didn't like being paired up like that. So when our friendship evolved into something more, we had to hide it. I would glare and call her a Mudblood, and she would glare back and call me a slimy Slytherin. We had good fun laughing at our stupid insults in private. Then, after taking our History of Magic O.W.L.s in fifth year, Potter and Black went too far. They hung me upside down and nearly choked me with soap. Your mother saw and came running. She almost gave us away, then-demanding for Potter to let me go. Potter had developed quite the crush on her by then. He bargained that he would let me go and never touch me again if she would go out with him. She said no. Potter was furious." Snape shivered, remembering. Harry was on the edge of his seat, fascinated. "He humiliated me worse that day than he ever could have dreamed. It was my worst memory of my school years.
"When Lily and I graduated, we wanted to get married. But Voldemort had offered to take me in. When Voldemort offers something, you do not refuse. I told Lily horrible lies; I told her I didn't love her, I told her she was nothing more than a Mudblood. Her tears broke my heart. My words broke hers.
"Lily married James. They were the perfect couple, dwelling in the perfect house, living the perfect life. I kept away from them as best I could. But one night I couldn't stand it any longer. I went to her window, watched the moonlight pale her blood-red hair. She caught me. I don't need to tell you what happened then, only that she forgave me for all my sins and horrible words.
"When you were born, you looked enough like Lily to mask the features you inherited from me. You have her eyes, her nose, and her chin. You have my cheeks, my hair, and my bone structure. You were a beautiful child. And everyone thought you were James'. Even I thought you were James'.
"On Halloween, when you were only a year old, Voldemort attacked. Potter was killed. Lily was killed. I came too late. The sight of Lily, lying in the corridor, still and limp as a rag doll, has haunted me for ten years. When I saw you, crying for your mother . . . . Even then, I thought you were James' son. But Lily knew. She knew you were mine. She still gave her life for yours. You survived because her love for you was too great to be overcome by any spell."
Snape finished abruptly in a whisper. There were tears in his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and looked at Harry.
"Did my mother give me my name, as well?" Harry asked softly. Snape smiled.
"No. Potter named you after his own father. It is not what Lily would have named you. It is not what I would have named you." He answered. Harry paused before nodding.
"Someday I'll ask you what you would have named me. But not today."
Snape nodded in agreement.
For a moment, father and son stared at each other. Then Harry was in Snape's arms, thinking a new word in cadence with a new feeling in his heart-father.
A/N: Yes, kick me in the buttocks and murder me on the spot. I haven't updated in months. I sorely apologize and promise to get a move on. One warning: things stop being smack on cannon right here. I'm going for the AU dip. Oh, and by the way-any suggestions on Harry's real name?
Reviews:
ennui2: Umm thanks. if you mean Harry's snake, her name is Sadie, but yeah. Thanks.
Heaven's Reaper: That's ok I like your review anyway!
Fizzysoda: Snape has given them no reason to believe he isn't doing it. If McGonagall had been hexing Harry's broom in the canon series and she was doing the odd things, they'd suspect her. Thanks!
Desert Fox: Well you don't read the canon so you don't know what happens. You have to read the canon. And then you go around saying 'Blaise and Harry are going to smooch' and that annoys me because they're eleven and how do you know they're gonna get together anyway! But ok. Yes Dumbledore does know about Snape being Harry's father! Did you read the part with Snape getting shampoo from Dumbledore??? Dumbledore was telling him to tell Harry!! See this is what makes me mad. You don't seem to actually read the story.
Arctic Wolf2: Well, we'll see. I'm trying to post more frequently so I can move on to second year, but . . .
Lightning Rain: Keep reading silly! My first thought was the same as yours but I figured that since I haven't even done that I couldn't very well write it.
Smacks Killer: Thanks!
Arials17: More is coming!
Adenara Yatman: Thank you!
Simple Confusion: Glad you like it.
Casey: No I'm not hospitalized, don't worry. I'm working on it!
Boomerang-chan: Yeah, I want Harry's necklace, too. Ooh, your story idea sounds cool! Just do me a HUGE favor and don't you dare make her a Mary Sue. Ooh I like Misua! Tell her I sympathize with weird crushes. I've had about five. Three are on book characters that don't even exist.
Tati 1: Gosh . . . I didn't think it was that good . . .
Charlie-potter1: Thank ya! I shall.
,(): Thank you.
Bitchkitten: You have such a lovely username. I love Slytherin Harry too- he's not meant to be a goody goody Gryff!
Silver Lady: Yes, yes, I know, you're going to chew me out. I cower before your wrath!!
,(): I'm so sorry. I've been so neglectful. I'll try my best to update more often.
Dracos Girl 8706: I love you! You motivated me.
Once again, I apologize. Expect the new chapter soon, and be sure to send a review to hustle me along.