Author's Note: This is the "edited", ff.net-safe version of the story. The unedited version is not much longer (and it's not particularly explicit).
* * *
The Masked Hentai Presents:
The Confessions of Motoko Minagawa
* * *
On the eve of my graduation from high school, I, Motoko Minagawa, have the following sins to confess.
First: That I did enter the home of Yuki Sohma
Second: That I did touch the possessions of Yuki Sohma
Third: That I did touch the person of Yuki Sohma
Please understand: ever since I have been the president of the Yuki Sohma fan club, I have held Yuki, his possessions, and his home absolutely sacred. I never would have violated any of these commandments if I hadn't been desperate.
Yes, I was desperate. Graduation date was fast approaching, and while this might be a happy date for some, for me it was sheer torture.
I was going to be leaving him behind, the most wonderful boy in the universe. Once I had graduated and he was still in school, there would be a wall between us, a gulf that could not be bridged.
Of course, it would be selfish of me to try and keep Yuki for myself. The purpose behind the Yuki fan club was to insure that no one girl (or heaven forbid, boy) could monopolize him: he needed to be there for all of his fans.
But in my greedy soul, I knew I needed something from him.
And so my plan began.
* * *
Motoko walked through the forest quietly, trying to think inconspicuous thoughts. Luckily, she didn't need to follow (or more properly, stalk) Yuki home: knowledge of where he lived was something of an open secret in the fan club: everyone knew where the house was, and they knew equally well never to use that information, except in the unlikely event of an emergency.
'I guess this is a kind of an emergency', Motoko justified to herself (poorly).
As the house finally came into view, she paused. This was where things would get difficult.
She had had an idea to come to Yuki's house, but she wasn't certain what she would do when she got there. Would she talk to Yuki, pour her heart and soul out to him? Tell him she would wait for him and ask him to do the same for her? Find out where he was planning on going to college and take the entrance examination there?
No, too possessive. Against the "fan club" spirit. Bad Motoko.
Then--and she felt wicked even bringing the topic to mind--perhaps she should get a souvenir of some kind? A memento from his desk? A piece of clothing, perhaps? Maybe even a pair of his underw...
Motoko blushed darkly. What a nasty, evil, wicked, reprehensible thought. She added it to the "maybe" list and put a gold star next to it.
* * *
You see, gentle reader, I didn't have any evil intentions! I was drawn to Yuki's house out of pure desperation! As to the unfortunate things that happened afterwards... all I can say to defend my name is that it was not planned from the beginning to happen that way.
Crazy things happen in the heat of the moment.
* * *
As she stood near the house planning what to do next, it suddenly occurred to her that although the sky was darkening rapidly, there were no lights on in the house. Nobody at home!
Almost without thinking, Motoko rapidly walked to the front door. 'I've come this far, I might as well go all the way.' Without pause, she slid the front door open. As she removed her shoes in the genkan, she took a moment to admire the house. 'So stately, so beautiful. Worthy to be the home of the great Yuki Sohma.'
She quickly determined that the bedrooms were situated on the upper floor. The first room was obviously not Yuki's, as the closet was filled with cargo pants, a particular article of clothing she had never seen the prince wear. Second room was the charm: Yuki's signature Chinese-style clothing was a foolproof indicator of whose room she was in now.
This was hallowed ground. Motoko almost felt like singing a hymn, not that she was religious by any stretch of the imagination. But, to be in the same room where Yuki lived. Where he studied, where he slept, where he dressed, where he undressed.
Another wicked, wicked thought. But not altogether unpleasant. Hell, no!
* * *
Yes, coming to his house, was clearly 100% my fault and I accept the blame for it. Entering his house, also my fault. Entering his room, again, my fault.
However, after that point, I don't feel as though my actions were entirely my fault. There was something about being in his room, being part of the aura that makes Yuki, Yuki... something indefinable and intoxicating.
I couldn't just up and leave. I had to stay and enjoy the aura for just a little bit longer. Just a bit longer.
I realize that I should not take any pride or pleasure in my crimes, but honesty compels me to say that just being in his room, in his private personal space was a wonderful, glorious, fulfilling feeling.
And it was, alas, my undoing.
* * *
She did not know how long she had been standing in the room. Minutes, hours, days? Did time matter?
Time suddenly did matter, however: she heard noises in the house below. 'My shoes! They'll find my...' However, she remembered that she did have the foresight to carry her shoes with her rather than leave them downstairs. 'I'll lie low for a few minutes, and when the coast is clear, I can take off.'
But what if it were Yuki? And what if he came up to his bedroom?
Examining her situation, she determined there were three places to hide: bed, closet, kotatsu. Which one?
Someone was coming, only a few feet away now. Hide!
Motoko dived underneath the cover of the kotatsu.
* * *
Now, choosing the kotatsu--that was just bad luck on my part. I didn't have any time to think of a better hiding place, or I would have been in serious trouble. I had to hide, it was just the closest place! I need to emphasize that I did not have any ulterior motives about hiding under the kotatsu.
* * *
As she cowered underneath the kotatsu, Motoko realized the problem with such a hiding place.
It was hot. Absurdly so. Motoko was sweating like it was the middle of August rather than the cold January it actually was.
'Oh please, don't come in the room, oh please don't come in the room, oh please don't come in the room.'
Motoko's prayers were unanswered, as she heard Yuki's door being drawn aside.
At that moment, Motoko emotions were as mixed as they possibly could be. On the one hand, she was in a very dangerous situation, one that could jeapordize her standing in Yuki's eyes, and which could affect her entire future. Additionally, she was in a very personally uncomfortable situation, being hidden underneath a hot kotatsu.
And yet... SHE WAS ALONE WITH YUKI! IN HIS BEDROOM!
She didn't know whether to scream, or cry, or both. Or jump out from underneath the kotatsu, rip Yuki's clothes off, and...
Okay, where did THAT mutant thought come from?
* * *
So you can see, being in that particular situation--underneath the kotatsu with Yuki in his room--it was partially my fault, not entirely. So therefore, whatever happened afterwards was also only partially my fault, right?
My logic is correct on this, isn't it?
* * *
For a few anxious seconds that lasted several hours, Motoko waited to see what would happen next. While she hoped that Yuki would quickly leave, she couldn't deny that she also wanted him to stay.
Stay he did. And to her surprise, delight, AND horror, she saw the cover of the kotatsu lifting up, and a pair of legs coming through.
Motoko quickly positioned herself so his legs wouldn't touch her. As she also had to avoid the heater, this forced her to quickly contort to a rather uncomfortable position.
'His legs... Yuki's beautiful legs. I'm so near them. I'm so...getting a cramp. Nasty cramp. I'm going to die. I'm going to die here underneath Yuki's kotatsu. What will the newspapers say?'
To her relief and disappointment, the legs scooted out again. However, just a few seconds later, the legs returned, but with one profound difference.
He. Had. Taken. Off. His. Pants.
* * *
Could anything possibly prepare me for that? I'm not made of stone! How would you react to the sight of the legs of the boy you loved, minus trousers? Yuki's beautiful, muscular, legs.
* * *
There they were, exposed to view.
Such a sight was unprecedented. True, she had seen Yuki in his gym shorts before, but gym shorts covered more than his underwear.
She admired them for a moment. Such strong legs, well-built. Muscular, but at the same time, graceful. The legs a beautiful male ballet dancer might have. The legs of a prince.
And inevitably, Motoko's eyes were drawn to where his legs met. A sight so sacred, the simple biological terms seemed vulgar in comparison: Yuki's holy of holies.
'If I were braver, I might crawl over and slide his shorts off his legs, and then I'd...'
'I'd what?'
* * *
The moment of truth. I could have stopped, announced my presence, and left, accepting whatever punishment would be worthy of such a crime (perhaps even expulsion from the club). But I had to go on.
* * *
That was it. The point of no return had long since been passed. Motoko crawled forward and gently but firmly pulled his underwear down.
And then... (Edited for content)
Afterwards:
Luckily for Motoko, she didn't look back as she ran out of Yuki's room. If she had, she might have been disturbed to see that the young man lying halfway under the kotatsu had orange hair.
* * *
Yes, I'm guilty. If not completely, at least partially. I will accept whatever punishment you choose to mete out. Because I know that my sin was only to give my beloved Yuki a brief moment of pleasure. He is still pure, it is I who am sullied, but it doesn't matter to me, since I was never good enough for Yuki in the first place.
But because of my sin, I can let him go without tears. Goodbye, Yuki. May you remember that afternoon always.
* * *
Shigure, heading to the kitchen to forage for whatever food he could find, paused briefly at the doorway to Yuki's bedroom. "Kyo-kun? Taking a nap?" A reasonable question, as the orange-haired cat of the Zodiac lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Uh...what?"
"Studying, then? You've got finals coming up, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Finals." Kyo slowly starting moving up to a sitting position.
Shigure frowned. Kyo was being unusually taciturn, well-mannered and non-abrasive. What was the cause of this odd behavior? Sickness? Anxiety? "Say, Kyo-kun, you're not worried about finals, are you?"
"No, not worried. No."
"Good. You shouldn't be. You always do well on your written tests."
"Yes."
"Then, if written isn't a problem, you just need to watch out for oral."
Shigure never did find out why this last sentence made Kyo suddenly faint.
* * *
'Genkan' is the entryway in the house designed for the removal of outside shoes.
'Kotatsu' is a quilt-covered heated table.
* * *
The Masked Hentai Presents:
The Confessions of Motoko Minagawa
* * *
On the eve of my graduation from high school, I, Motoko Minagawa, have the following sins to confess.
First: That I did enter the home of Yuki Sohma
Second: That I did touch the possessions of Yuki Sohma
Third: That I did touch the person of Yuki Sohma
Please understand: ever since I have been the president of the Yuki Sohma fan club, I have held Yuki, his possessions, and his home absolutely sacred. I never would have violated any of these commandments if I hadn't been desperate.
Yes, I was desperate. Graduation date was fast approaching, and while this might be a happy date for some, for me it was sheer torture.
I was going to be leaving him behind, the most wonderful boy in the universe. Once I had graduated and he was still in school, there would be a wall between us, a gulf that could not be bridged.
Of course, it would be selfish of me to try and keep Yuki for myself. The purpose behind the Yuki fan club was to insure that no one girl (or heaven forbid, boy) could monopolize him: he needed to be there for all of his fans.
But in my greedy soul, I knew I needed something from him.
And so my plan began.
* * *
Motoko walked through the forest quietly, trying to think inconspicuous thoughts. Luckily, she didn't need to follow (or more properly, stalk) Yuki home: knowledge of where he lived was something of an open secret in the fan club: everyone knew where the house was, and they knew equally well never to use that information, except in the unlikely event of an emergency.
'I guess this is a kind of an emergency', Motoko justified to herself (poorly).
As the house finally came into view, she paused. This was where things would get difficult.
She had had an idea to come to Yuki's house, but she wasn't certain what she would do when she got there. Would she talk to Yuki, pour her heart and soul out to him? Tell him she would wait for him and ask him to do the same for her? Find out where he was planning on going to college and take the entrance examination there?
No, too possessive. Against the "fan club" spirit. Bad Motoko.
Then--and she felt wicked even bringing the topic to mind--perhaps she should get a souvenir of some kind? A memento from his desk? A piece of clothing, perhaps? Maybe even a pair of his underw...
Motoko blushed darkly. What a nasty, evil, wicked, reprehensible thought. She added it to the "maybe" list and put a gold star next to it.
* * *
You see, gentle reader, I didn't have any evil intentions! I was drawn to Yuki's house out of pure desperation! As to the unfortunate things that happened afterwards... all I can say to defend my name is that it was not planned from the beginning to happen that way.
Crazy things happen in the heat of the moment.
* * *
As she stood near the house planning what to do next, it suddenly occurred to her that although the sky was darkening rapidly, there were no lights on in the house. Nobody at home!
Almost without thinking, Motoko rapidly walked to the front door. 'I've come this far, I might as well go all the way.' Without pause, she slid the front door open. As she removed her shoes in the genkan, she took a moment to admire the house. 'So stately, so beautiful. Worthy to be the home of the great Yuki Sohma.'
She quickly determined that the bedrooms were situated on the upper floor. The first room was obviously not Yuki's, as the closet was filled with cargo pants, a particular article of clothing she had never seen the prince wear. Second room was the charm: Yuki's signature Chinese-style clothing was a foolproof indicator of whose room she was in now.
This was hallowed ground. Motoko almost felt like singing a hymn, not that she was religious by any stretch of the imagination. But, to be in the same room where Yuki lived. Where he studied, where he slept, where he dressed, where he undressed.
Another wicked, wicked thought. But not altogether unpleasant. Hell, no!
* * *
Yes, coming to his house, was clearly 100% my fault and I accept the blame for it. Entering his house, also my fault. Entering his room, again, my fault.
However, after that point, I don't feel as though my actions were entirely my fault. There was something about being in his room, being part of the aura that makes Yuki, Yuki... something indefinable and intoxicating.
I couldn't just up and leave. I had to stay and enjoy the aura for just a little bit longer. Just a bit longer.
I realize that I should not take any pride or pleasure in my crimes, but honesty compels me to say that just being in his room, in his private personal space was a wonderful, glorious, fulfilling feeling.
And it was, alas, my undoing.
* * *
She did not know how long she had been standing in the room. Minutes, hours, days? Did time matter?
Time suddenly did matter, however: she heard noises in the house below. 'My shoes! They'll find my...' However, she remembered that she did have the foresight to carry her shoes with her rather than leave them downstairs. 'I'll lie low for a few minutes, and when the coast is clear, I can take off.'
But what if it were Yuki? And what if he came up to his bedroom?
Examining her situation, she determined there were three places to hide: bed, closet, kotatsu. Which one?
Someone was coming, only a few feet away now. Hide!
Motoko dived underneath the cover of the kotatsu.
* * *
Now, choosing the kotatsu--that was just bad luck on my part. I didn't have any time to think of a better hiding place, or I would have been in serious trouble. I had to hide, it was just the closest place! I need to emphasize that I did not have any ulterior motives about hiding under the kotatsu.
* * *
As she cowered underneath the kotatsu, Motoko realized the problem with such a hiding place.
It was hot. Absurdly so. Motoko was sweating like it was the middle of August rather than the cold January it actually was.
'Oh please, don't come in the room, oh please don't come in the room, oh please don't come in the room.'
Motoko's prayers were unanswered, as she heard Yuki's door being drawn aside.
At that moment, Motoko emotions were as mixed as they possibly could be. On the one hand, she was in a very dangerous situation, one that could jeapordize her standing in Yuki's eyes, and which could affect her entire future. Additionally, she was in a very personally uncomfortable situation, being hidden underneath a hot kotatsu.
And yet... SHE WAS ALONE WITH YUKI! IN HIS BEDROOM!
She didn't know whether to scream, or cry, or both. Or jump out from underneath the kotatsu, rip Yuki's clothes off, and...
Okay, where did THAT mutant thought come from?
* * *
So you can see, being in that particular situation--underneath the kotatsu with Yuki in his room--it was partially my fault, not entirely. So therefore, whatever happened afterwards was also only partially my fault, right?
My logic is correct on this, isn't it?
* * *
For a few anxious seconds that lasted several hours, Motoko waited to see what would happen next. While she hoped that Yuki would quickly leave, she couldn't deny that she also wanted him to stay.
Stay he did. And to her surprise, delight, AND horror, she saw the cover of the kotatsu lifting up, and a pair of legs coming through.
Motoko quickly positioned herself so his legs wouldn't touch her. As she also had to avoid the heater, this forced her to quickly contort to a rather uncomfortable position.
'His legs... Yuki's beautiful legs. I'm so near them. I'm so...getting a cramp. Nasty cramp. I'm going to die. I'm going to die here underneath Yuki's kotatsu. What will the newspapers say?'
To her relief and disappointment, the legs scooted out again. However, just a few seconds later, the legs returned, but with one profound difference.
He. Had. Taken. Off. His. Pants.
* * *
Could anything possibly prepare me for that? I'm not made of stone! How would you react to the sight of the legs of the boy you loved, minus trousers? Yuki's beautiful, muscular, legs.
* * *
There they were, exposed to view.
Such a sight was unprecedented. True, she had seen Yuki in his gym shorts before, but gym shorts covered more than his underwear.
She admired them for a moment. Such strong legs, well-built. Muscular, but at the same time, graceful. The legs a beautiful male ballet dancer might have. The legs of a prince.
And inevitably, Motoko's eyes were drawn to where his legs met. A sight so sacred, the simple biological terms seemed vulgar in comparison: Yuki's holy of holies.
'If I were braver, I might crawl over and slide his shorts off his legs, and then I'd...'
'I'd what?'
* * *
The moment of truth. I could have stopped, announced my presence, and left, accepting whatever punishment would be worthy of such a crime (perhaps even expulsion from the club). But I had to go on.
* * *
That was it. The point of no return had long since been passed. Motoko crawled forward and gently but firmly pulled his underwear down.
And then... (Edited for content)
Afterwards:
Luckily for Motoko, she didn't look back as she ran out of Yuki's room. If she had, she might have been disturbed to see that the young man lying halfway under the kotatsu had orange hair.
* * *
Yes, I'm guilty. If not completely, at least partially. I will accept whatever punishment you choose to mete out. Because I know that my sin was only to give my beloved Yuki a brief moment of pleasure. He is still pure, it is I who am sullied, but it doesn't matter to me, since I was never good enough for Yuki in the first place.
But because of my sin, I can let him go without tears. Goodbye, Yuki. May you remember that afternoon always.
* * *
Shigure, heading to the kitchen to forage for whatever food he could find, paused briefly at the doorway to Yuki's bedroom. "Kyo-kun? Taking a nap?" A reasonable question, as the orange-haired cat of the Zodiac lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Uh...what?"
"Studying, then? You've got finals coming up, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Finals." Kyo slowly starting moving up to a sitting position.
Shigure frowned. Kyo was being unusually taciturn, well-mannered and non-abrasive. What was the cause of this odd behavior? Sickness? Anxiety? "Say, Kyo-kun, you're not worried about finals, are you?"
"No, not worried. No."
"Good. You shouldn't be. You always do well on your written tests."
"Yes."
"Then, if written isn't a problem, you just need to watch out for oral."
Shigure never did find out why this last sentence made Kyo suddenly faint.
* * *
'Genkan' is the entryway in the house designed for the removal of outside shoes.
'Kotatsu' is a quilt-covered heated table.