Well I still don't own anything, but hey, least I got a decent sized
chapter up this time! Gotta count for something, right? Right? And it's
practically screaming for a review! Hint, hint.
A/N- Emily- All my Elvish comes from an Elven Dictionary created by the
wonderful people at the Grey Company. If you're interested, you can
usually find something on them of you look up 'Elvish' on a search engine
like yahoo.
CHAPTER TEN- DREAMS THAT CUT LIKE KNIVES
// Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight there's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight //
Dawn slept fitfully, tossing and turning. She was dreaming of Legolas again. . .
~~~
He was standing before her, as he always was when she closed her eyes. She dared to smile, reaching out towards her husband. But he was out of reach. Always just out of reach, fading further and further away from her. Abandoning her.
"No," she murmured as he stepped back from her. "Don't. . ." ~~~
"Don't what?" Buffy asked, sitting by the bed and holding her sister's hand. But Dawn was fast asleep, caught up in her own dream world.
~~~
He was retreating so fast. Dawn started to cry at the pain her love's lack of support caused her. Why was he doing this to her? Had she not been through enough? She couldn't survive if she lost him, she knew that. She began to beg the image of Legolas shamelessly.
"Help me, please," she moaned. She wanted to run to him, shake him and tell him that whatever he thought was going on between her and Spike was a lie, something left for dead and buried years before she'd even known Middle-Earth and Legolas existed. But she knew it would do no good. Her husband was angry and hurt, and he was not ready to hear a word she had to say. It was killing her. ~~~
Buffy smoothed Dawn's hair back, tears streaming down her face to match the sleeping girl's. There was such pain in Dawn's voice as she cried out for help, more feeling than Dawn had shown since she had been brought back, but, once again, Buffy found herself powerless to save her.
She kissed Dawn's forehead. "It's gonna be ok, sweetheart. I'm gonna help you somehow," she promised. The Slayer then settled back in her chair by the bed as comfortably as she could, keeping the long fingers clasped in her own. She knew from the experience of the few weeks her sister had now been home that her nightmares could go on for hours.
Dawn often cried out in a strange language, but Buffy could not understand it, except for the pain resounding through the desperate voice that pierced the night, its owner unaware of the turmoil it was causing. Buffy had tried to remember as many of the words as she could, but the Lord, and Giles knew she was never the greatest at strange names and languages. So far Willow, Tara and Giles had been unable to identify or decipher the language so they could work out which Hell Dimension Dawn had been trapped in. They had hoped that by understanding where she had been, they could help the estranged young woman come to terms with her ordeal, and attempt to regain a sense of life and the world around her.
Dawn herself was no help. If she even knew, she would flatly refuse to say which dimension she had spent the last century in, and why she had even been able to live so long in the first place without aging so much as a day. She feigned ignorance over the mysterious language of her dreams, though Buffy herself had heard Dawn murmuring words in that tongue to herself or when she was speaking to Spike, when she thought no-one else was around.
Spike however, was just as tight-lipped about the mystery language, insisting she was imagining things, Dawn and he only ever spoke in English. Buffy's expression darkened at the thought of Spike and her sister. It was painfully obvious that the two shared a bond deeper than any of them had ever imagined possible, and wrong as Buffy knew it was to be jealous, she couldn't help but feel that Spike's loyalty was no longer with her, but with the one he'd sworn to protect on her behalf.
In her sleep, Dawn's face contorted with such pain that Buffy's heart broke for her one more time and she forgot her jealousy in a microsecond. She tightened her hold on Dawn's hand.
"I'm still here, Dawny. Still with you."
~~~
Legolas was turning his back on her.
"Don't," Dawn sobbed again. "Saesa tula n'alaquel a'min." [Please come back to me]
Legolas began to walk away from, her, and Dawn began to scream at his retreating form. "Legolas, amin Taren, uuma kel amin sinome! Amin ilya ereb, tua amin, Melamin." [Legolas, my Prince, don't leave me here! I'm all alone, help me, my love.]
But he had left her. She was completely alone. ~~~
Dawn sprang up out of her sleep and into a sitting position, choking on her own sobs. She tried to rid her mind of the image of her husband's back as he walked away from her, and became aware of a pair of strong arms encircling her.
She froze in the embrace as Buffy whispered to her, "It's all right now, Dawny. You're safe, you're where you belong and you're never going back to that other place. I won't let you."
Immediately wiping all traces of tears and emotions away, Dawn pulled away. "I'm all right now Buffy. Go to bed." She lay back down and tried to roll so her back was to Buffy, but Buffy stopped her with gentle, yet forceful hands.
"Dawny, sit up and look at me, please?"
Tossing her hair back, Dawn complied.
Once again Buffy was taken aback with her sister's cool composure. It unnerved her, how reserved and isolated Dawn had been since she had been back. Xander tried to convince her that it was just an adjustment period, like she herself had gone through, but Buffy was truly concerned for her sister. She seemed dead to them, as if she didn't really want to be there. . . didn't want to be alive. Buffy realised Dawn was staring at her almost impatiently and hurried to speak.
"You were having nightmares again, do you remember what happened?" Buffy asked in her most concerned voice, hoping to convince her sister to open up at last.
"No, I don't remember. I'm tired, Buffy."
"I know. But this is important for us to help you, Dawn."
"I don't need your help."
"I think you do. What does 'Legless' and 'to a heyman mealman' mean?"
Dawn felt a flash of anger at the way the Slayer's tongue mangled her husband's name. She shrugged, grateful for all her recent practise in masking her emotions because she had very nearly snorted at her sister's woeful attempt at Elvish. Pronunciation had never been a point of strength with Buffy.
"I don't know what it means Buffy. I don't even remember saying it," she lied, certain that the only person in any world who would be capable of spotting her deception was her brother, and Estel was long since gone from her life.
"Ok," Buffy finally relented. "Sleep tight, Dawny." When Buffy leaned over and kissed Dawn's temple, Dawn's fists clenched at the sheets bunched up around her to restrain herself from shoving her sister away. Ever since she'd been torn from Middle-Earth, she'd found the touch of the Slayer to be repulsive. The tendency had become even worse when Dawn and Spike had discovered Giles kept nothing in the Magic Box that could help get her home.
When she was alone, Dawn's eyes fell on the sheathed knife she kept strapped to her bedside table as a precaution. She reached out a shaking hand and drew the blade. For ten full minutes she held the knife over the tender underside of her wrist. She dared herself to drag the blade across her skin. She willed herself to drag the blade across her skin. She even begged herself to drag the blade across her skin. And she tried. She began to slice at herself, but lost her nerve at the last moment, merely creating a scratch along her arm that would fade within a day or two. Disgusted with herself, Dawn threw the knife away from her and flopped back onto the pillows, staring at the ceiling until the sunrise bathed her room in cold light.
* * * * *
"We need answers, Giles," Buffy fretted, pacing around the Magic Box like a caged animal.
"We're working on it, Buffy," Willow piped up. She and Tara had been reading mystical texts with Giles for five hours straight, and still they were yet to come up with an answer to Dawn's problems.
Giles stood and went to Buffy. He positioned himself directly in the Slayer's path so she was forced to break her stride and he placed his hands supportively on her tiny shoulders.
When he spoke, his voice was slow and deliberate, full of reassurance to soothe the worried young woman before him. "Buffy. We will find a way to help Dawn. In the meantime, you need to relax, you're doing neither Dawn nor yourself any good working yourself up like this."
"I can't help it, Giles. It's what I do! I get worked up about something, and then I go slay monsters. In fact, that's what I'm going to do now!" Without another word, Buffy picked up her jacket and stormed out of the Magic Box.
"I almost feel sorry for the vampires out there tonight," Xander commented. "Almost."
Buffy spent ten minutes patrolling, but her mind was elsewhere so she followed it all the way home. She squeezed through the front door silently, listening for sounds of life in the big house. She slipped her coat off and laid it over the banister.
There were two familiar voices coming from upstairs. Buffy followed the sounds until she found herself standing just outside Dawn's closed door. A frown creased the Slayer's features as she eavesdropped. They were using that strange language again, she could hear it clear as day.
"Amin nauva wanwa ten'n'nir rea, Tarien. Lle nauva ilya tereva sinome?" Spike's voice floated through the door. [I will be gone for a few days, Tarien. Will you be all right here?]
Buffy pressed her ear to the door to hear Dawn's reply, even though she couldn't follow the meaning of the conversation.
"Numa. Nan'eller naa numa n'at men. Umuva hort n'alaquel." [No. But there is no other way. Do hurry back.]
"Amin hortuva, pet. Ar'amin koluva mani lle anta, ri'gurtha umien ikotane." [I will, pet. And I'll carry what you need, or die doing so.]
"Amin uuma merna ten'lle a'gurtha, Alta Nquel," Dawn replied softly. [I do not want you to die, Big Bad.]
Buffy frowned as Spike suddenly broke back into English.
"Yeah, guess there's been enough of that gone around already."
Buffy heard the rustling sounds that indicated Spike was getting up to leave the room, so she flew back downstairs and opened the front door as silently as she could.
Spike came out of Dawn's room and paused. He sniffed the air in confusion. Buffy's scent was strong throughout the hallway, as if she'd been standing there only seconds before.
The front door slammed, and Buffy's voice called up the stairs. "Dawn? You here?"
Spike came down the stairs to meet the Slayer as she locked the front door behind her. "The Nibblet's upstairs. I just left her, she said she was going to bed now. Any major action tonight?"
"No," Buffy responded, on guard. She was weary of Spike now, and she would be until her friends could discover exactly what was going on with Dawn, and then she could find out how he was involved. "Nothing really. The gang's all working on ways to help Dawn still. I took a quick patrol, but there wasn't much going on out there. I think I might hit the sack as well. G'Night."
Buffy started up the stairs, but Spike's hand shot out to stop her. "Look, luv, I'm gonna take off for a few days. I just have some things to do out of town, but I should be back by the weekend."
"Ok," Buffy responded, still on guard. 'What are you up to, Spike?' she wondered silently. "Take care," she said aloud.
With that, she made her way upstairs. Spike watched her go, then turned to head to the basement to grab a few things he would need for his trip. He was going to see some demons he'd heard of, who specialised in mystical potions, and he hoped one would carry what Dawn needed to get her home and happy again. He went to rest his hand on the banister and frowned when it came into contact with something soft. It was Buffy's coat, but he knew it hadn't been there when he'd gone upstairs to talk to Dawn, and she hadn't taken it off when she came inside just now.
Spike's eyes widened. "She knows something," he realised.
They were running out of time.
* * * * *
Hmm. Plot is thickening just a little. Guess it was bound to happen eventually. Holds up sign: WILL DANCE FOR REVIEWS. I like dancing. Please let me dance. ~Anoron.
CHAPTER TEN- DREAMS THAT CUT LIKE KNIVES
// Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight there's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight //
Dawn slept fitfully, tossing and turning. She was dreaming of Legolas again. . .
~~~
He was standing before her, as he always was when she closed her eyes. She dared to smile, reaching out towards her husband. But he was out of reach. Always just out of reach, fading further and further away from her. Abandoning her.
"No," she murmured as he stepped back from her. "Don't. . ." ~~~
"Don't what?" Buffy asked, sitting by the bed and holding her sister's hand. But Dawn was fast asleep, caught up in her own dream world.
~~~
He was retreating so fast. Dawn started to cry at the pain her love's lack of support caused her. Why was he doing this to her? Had she not been through enough? She couldn't survive if she lost him, she knew that. She began to beg the image of Legolas shamelessly.
"Help me, please," she moaned. She wanted to run to him, shake him and tell him that whatever he thought was going on between her and Spike was a lie, something left for dead and buried years before she'd even known Middle-Earth and Legolas existed. But she knew it would do no good. Her husband was angry and hurt, and he was not ready to hear a word she had to say. It was killing her. ~~~
Buffy smoothed Dawn's hair back, tears streaming down her face to match the sleeping girl's. There was such pain in Dawn's voice as she cried out for help, more feeling than Dawn had shown since she had been brought back, but, once again, Buffy found herself powerless to save her.
She kissed Dawn's forehead. "It's gonna be ok, sweetheart. I'm gonna help you somehow," she promised. The Slayer then settled back in her chair by the bed as comfortably as she could, keeping the long fingers clasped in her own. She knew from the experience of the few weeks her sister had now been home that her nightmares could go on for hours.
Dawn often cried out in a strange language, but Buffy could not understand it, except for the pain resounding through the desperate voice that pierced the night, its owner unaware of the turmoil it was causing. Buffy had tried to remember as many of the words as she could, but the Lord, and Giles knew she was never the greatest at strange names and languages. So far Willow, Tara and Giles had been unable to identify or decipher the language so they could work out which Hell Dimension Dawn had been trapped in. They had hoped that by understanding where she had been, they could help the estranged young woman come to terms with her ordeal, and attempt to regain a sense of life and the world around her.
Dawn herself was no help. If she even knew, she would flatly refuse to say which dimension she had spent the last century in, and why she had even been able to live so long in the first place without aging so much as a day. She feigned ignorance over the mysterious language of her dreams, though Buffy herself had heard Dawn murmuring words in that tongue to herself or when she was speaking to Spike, when she thought no-one else was around.
Spike however, was just as tight-lipped about the mystery language, insisting she was imagining things, Dawn and he only ever spoke in English. Buffy's expression darkened at the thought of Spike and her sister. It was painfully obvious that the two shared a bond deeper than any of them had ever imagined possible, and wrong as Buffy knew it was to be jealous, she couldn't help but feel that Spike's loyalty was no longer with her, but with the one he'd sworn to protect on her behalf.
In her sleep, Dawn's face contorted with such pain that Buffy's heart broke for her one more time and she forgot her jealousy in a microsecond. She tightened her hold on Dawn's hand.
"I'm still here, Dawny. Still with you."
~~~
Legolas was turning his back on her.
"Don't," Dawn sobbed again. "Saesa tula n'alaquel a'min." [Please come back to me]
Legolas began to walk away from, her, and Dawn began to scream at his retreating form. "Legolas, amin Taren, uuma kel amin sinome! Amin ilya ereb, tua amin, Melamin." [Legolas, my Prince, don't leave me here! I'm all alone, help me, my love.]
But he had left her. She was completely alone. ~~~
Dawn sprang up out of her sleep and into a sitting position, choking on her own sobs. She tried to rid her mind of the image of her husband's back as he walked away from her, and became aware of a pair of strong arms encircling her.
She froze in the embrace as Buffy whispered to her, "It's all right now, Dawny. You're safe, you're where you belong and you're never going back to that other place. I won't let you."
Immediately wiping all traces of tears and emotions away, Dawn pulled away. "I'm all right now Buffy. Go to bed." She lay back down and tried to roll so her back was to Buffy, but Buffy stopped her with gentle, yet forceful hands.
"Dawny, sit up and look at me, please?"
Tossing her hair back, Dawn complied.
Once again Buffy was taken aback with her sister's cool composure. It unnerved her, how reserved and isolated Dawn had been since she had been back. Xander tried to convince her that it was just an adjustment period, like she herself had gone through, but Buffy was truly concerned for her sister. She seemed dead to them, as if she didn't really want to be there. . . didn't want to be alive. Buffy realised Dawn was staring at her almost impatiently and hurried to speak.
"You were having nightmares again, do you remember what happened?" Buffy asked in her most concerned voice, hoping to convince her sister to open up at last.
"No, I don't remember. I'm tired, Buffy."
"I know. But this is important for us to help you, Dawn."
"I don't need your help."
"I think you do. What does 'Legless' and 'to a heyman mealman' mean?"
Dawn felt a flash of anger at the way the Slayer's tongue mangled her husband's name. She shrugged, grateful for all her recent practise in masking her emotions because she had very nearly snorted at her sister's woeful attempt at Elvish. Pronunciation had never been a point of strength with Buffy.
"I don't know what it means Buffy. I don't even remember saying it," she lied, certain that the only person in any world who would be capable of spotting her deception was her brother, and Estel was long since gone from her life.
"Ok," Buffy finally relented. "Sleep tight, Dawny." When Buffy leaned over and kissed Dawn's temple, Dawn's fists clenched at the sheets bunched up around her to restrain herself from shoving her sister away. Ever since she'd been torn from Middle-Earth, she'd found the touch of the Slayer to be repulsive. The tendency had become even worse when Dawn and Spike had discovered Giles kept nothing in the Magic Box that could help get her home.
When she was alone, Dawn's eyes fell on the sheathed knife she kept strapped to her bedside table as a precaution. She reached out a shaking hand and drew the blade. For ten full minutes she held the knife over the tender underside of her wrist. She dared herself to drag the blade across her skin. She willed herself to drag the blade across her skin. She even begged herself to drag the blade across her skin. And she tried. She began to slice at herself, but lost her nerve at the last moment, merely creating a scratch along her arm that would fade within a day or two. Disgusted with herself, Dawn threw the knife away from her and flopped back onto the pillows, staring at the ceiling until the sunrise bathed her room in cold light.
* * * * *
"We need answers, Giles," Buffy fretted, pacing around the Magic Box like a caged animal.
"We're working on it, Buffy," Willow piped up. She and Tara had been reading mystical texts with Giles for five hours straight, and still they were yet to come up with an answer to Dawn's problems.
Giles stood and went to Buffy. He positioned himself directly in the Slayer's path so she was forced to break her stride and he placed his hands supportively on her tiny shoulders.
When he spoke, his voice was slow and deliberate, full of reassurance to soothe the worried young woman before him. "Buffy. We will find a way to help Dawn. In the meantime, you need to relax, you're doing neither Dawn nor yourself any good working yourself up like this."
"I can't help it, Giles. It's what I do! I get worked up about something, and then I go slay monsters. In fact, that's what I'm going to do now!" Without another word, Buffy picked up her jacket and stormed out of the Magic Box.
"I almost feel sorry for the vampires out there tonight," Xander commented. "Almost."
Buffy spent ten minutes patrolling, but her mind was elsewhere so she followed it all the way home. She squeezed through the front door silently, listening for sounds of life in the big house. She slipped her coat off and laid it over the banister.
There were two familiar voices coming from upstairs. Buffy followed the sounds until she found herself standing just outside Dawn's closed door. A frown creased the Slayer's features as she eavesdropped. They were using that strange language again, she could hear it clear as day.
"Amin nauva wanwa ten'n'nir rea, Tarien. Lle nauva ilya tereva sinome?" Spike's voice floated through the door. [I will be gone for a few days, Tarien. Will you be all right here?]
Buffy pressed her ear to the door to hear Dawn's reply, even though she couldn't follow the meaning of the conversation.
"Numa. Nan'eller naa numa n'at men. Umuva hort n'alaquel." [No. But there is no other way. Do hurry back.]
"Amin hortuva, pet. Ar'amin koluva mani lle anta, ri'gurtha umien ikotane." [I will, pet. And I'll carry what you need, or die doing so.]
"Amin uuma merna ten'lle a'gurtha, Alta Nquel," Dawn replied softly. [I do not want you to die, Big Bad.]
Buffy frowned as Spike suddenly broke back into English.
"Yeah, guess there's been enough of that gone around already."
Buffy heard the rustling sounds that indicated Spike was getting up to leave the room, so she flew back downstairs and opened the front door as silently as she could.
Spike came out of Dawn's room and paused. He sniffed the air in confusion. Buffy's scent was strong throughout the hallway, as if she'd been standing there only seconds before.
The front door slammed, and Buffy's voice called up the stairs. "Dawn? You here?"
Spike came down the stairs to meet the Slayer as she locked the front door behind her. "The Nibblet's upstairs. I just left her, she said she was going to bed now. Any major action tonight?"
"No," Buffy responded, on guard. She was weary of Spike now, and she would be until her friends could discover exactly what was going on with Dawn, and then she could find out how he was involved. "Nothing really. The gang's all working on ways to help Dawn still. I took a quick patrol, but there wasn't much going on out there. I think I might hit the sack as well. G'Night."
Buffy started up the stairs, but Spike's hand shot out to stop her. "Look, luv, I'm gonna take off for a few days. I just have some things to do out of town, but I should be back by the weekend."
"Ok," Buffy responded, still on guard. 'What are you up to, Spike?' she wondered silently. "Take care," she said aloud.
With that, she made her way upstairs. Spike watched her go, then turned to head to the basement to grab a few things he would need for his trip. He was going to see some demons he'd heard of, who specialised in mystical potions, and he hoped one would carry what Dawn needed to get her home and happy again. He went to rest his hand on the banister and frowned when it came into contact with something soft. It was Buffy's coat, but he knew it hadn't been there when he'd gone upstairs to talk to Dawn, and she hadn't taken it off when she came inside just now.
Spike's eyes widened. "She knows something," he realised.
They were running out of time.
* * * * *
Hmm. Plot is thickening just a little. Guess it was bound to happen eventually. Holds up sign: WILL DANCE FOR REVIEWS. I like dancing. Please let me dance. ~Anoron.