A/N Just a reminder, Emily is Jennifer and Rich's daughter.

As you all know, we are quickly heading towards a close on this story. So as can be expected, there are going to be some emotional moments to come. This is your official tear jerker warning. Get those tissues ready ladies before you even start this chapter. You are going to need them. That said, here we go!

Chapter 106

Roger opened up the bedroom door and walked out into the living room.

"Hey Baby." Cass looked up from the floor. "You feel better?"

"Oh yeah. I feel fine." He told her. "I was just tired."

"Okay." She always wanted to believe him when he told her that, but lately it had become harder and harder for her to accept that answer. "Do you want to eat with us or do you want to wait?"

"No I can eat. I'm hungry." He sat on the couch. "Where's Collin?"

"They just left about twenty minutes ago." Mark told him.

"Already?" He looked at his watch.

"Uh huh." Jennifer laughed. "After making Jason promise again not to embarrass him tonight."

"Aunt Cass can I play video games in Collin's room?" Emily asked.

"Sure sweetie, go ahead." Cass told her coming back from the kitchen with Roger's Chinese food and handing it to him.

"Thanks. So what was the final plan tonight?"

"Well," Mark began. "Jason was taking him over to pick up Crissy, then they were going to dinner at the Life."

"Where Jason had to sit at an entirely different table and wasn't supposed to acknowledge them." Jen grinned.

"But he was supposed to pay the check." Rich laughed.

"Yeah, except for that." Mark continued. "Then he was supposed to take them to the school and drop them off."

"I can't believe my baby is old enough to be going to an eighth grade fall dance. "Cass said sadly.

"I can't believe he took a date instead of Mattie." Rich laughed.

"Yeah now that girls are in the picture, things could start getting real interesting around here." Mark laughed.


"So is Krystal at this dance?" Jen asked.

"Yes. She's a chaperone." Cass told her.

"Why did he ask Jason to drive him instead of one of us?" Roger asked as he ate his dinner.

"Probably because Jason is less parental then the three of you." Rich explained. "In other words, less chance of parental embarrassment."

"Great." Roger laughed which quickly turned into a coughing fit. He'd been having those more and more often. He drank back some of the water Cass offered him and it finally subsided.

"Oh yeah Rog, your doctor's office called to confirm your appointment for Tuesday afternoon. I thought it was for Tuesday morning?" Mark asked him.

"It was but they had to change it."

"Oh okay."

"Afternoon? I have a meeting that afternoon. I can't go with you then. I can try and change it, but I don't know if I can at this point." Cass told him.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll take Mark with me."

"Okay. We'll just go through the music for that one scene in the morning instead of the afternoon." Mark told him.

"Okay." Roger nodded. Mark had made Roger the music director on his latest project. Partially because they wanted to work together, but mainly because Roger knew Mark so well, he could almost feel it when he found the piece of music that would work perfect for Mark. This scene they had to do on Tuesday was the last thing they had to pick music for. It had been a last minute decision to put the scene back into the film, but it seemed to pull it all together nicely.

As much as Roger loved working with Mark, he was glad this project was finishing up. He was tired. And Mark could at times drive him crazy on things like this. And that just made him more tired.

Rich looked at his watch. "Okay we gotta go or we'll be late for the movie." He stood up. "Em let's go!"

"Coming." The little girl called from the bedroom.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow. Can't wait to hear all about the big date." Jen grinned.

"You say that now." Cass laughed. "Just you wait till it's her on that date. See if you're laughing then."

"Good point. But then again her father does own a gun. So he happens to be cleaning it every single time some crazy hormone driven boy comes over. It could affect things."

"Oh Mother!" Emily said, thoroughly embarrassed as everyone else laughed.

***********************

"Baby are you sure you don't want me to cancel my meeting and come with you to the doctor's? I think I should."

"It's okay. Besides Mark and I have to run through all that stuff this morning." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Okay." She said hesitantly. "If you're sure."

"Completely sure." He kissed her again before he picked up his keys and walked out with Mark.

******************

Mark sat on the couch staring straight ahead. The look on his face somewhere between shock, terror and total numbness.

"Mark you haven't said anything in over twenty minutes."

Mark just looked at him for a second. "I, um, I don't know what to, I mean, I guess, I mean are you alright?" He barely got the words out.

"Obviously not."

"Oh my God Roger! How can you joke around! How?" His voice went up a pitch as he fought back tears.

"What do you want me to do Mark? It's not like we didn't know this was coming."

Mark just looked at him. He was too quiet. Too calm. Especially for Roger.

"I'm not saying I'm happy about it damn it, just that we knew it was coming."

"You knew." Mark finally spoke. "You knew didn't you? That's what the receptionist meant. They didn't change your appointment, you did. You did so Cass couldn't go with you. You knew. Oh my God you knew." By then he did start crying.

Roger sat down next to him and put an arm around him, letting out a long sigh. "I didn't know for certain, but yeah I had a pretty good idea they were going to tell me that. If not this time then soon."

"Oh God Roger." Mark sobbed into his shoulder.

"Come on Marky. You gotta pull it together for me. Please? You gotta pull it together. Before Cass gets home. Can you do that?"

Mark nodded as he wiped his face on his sleeve. "I'm sorry Rog. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't wanna lose you. You've been doing so good for so long. It was almost easy to pretend it would never happen."

"I know Marky." He hugged him again. "I know." They sat there for a few moments in silence. When Roger figured Mark had pulled it together enough he stood up. "I'm gonna go take a nap. I gotta talk to Cass when she gets home. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes." He said with shaky breath. "Are you?"

"Surprisingly yes." He saw the shock register on Mark's face. "I'm not saying I'm ready to die or anything yet Mark. I'm just saying I knew this was coming and was sort of prepared for it.

"Look," he sat back down next to him. "I got a lot more time than I ever should have. Then I was ever entitled too. I got it, I made the most of it. And I'm grateful for that. For that, and you and Cass and Collin. And everybody else. All I can do is except it and be grateful for what I've had and what I've got left. It took me a long time to learn that. And it took Mimi, Collins and Angel to teach me that. Even April and Maureen. So I'm not going to waste what I've got left. And you need to do the same. Because I'm gonna need you. So is Cass and Collin. You got that? We just make the most of it. Okay?"

Mark silently nodded at him again before Roger stood back up. "Roger?"

He turned and looked at Mark. That almost broke his heart. The almost defeated, crumbling look on his face. Mark who had already been through so much. Put up with so much. Lost so much. "What Marky?" He said softly.

"Are you scared?" He stood up.

"Yeah. Sorta."

"Me too."

"It's gonna be okay Mark." He hugged him as he started crying again.

"How?" He sobbed.

"Cause we're all together."

******************

"Mom you gotta stop crying. I can't talk to you when you're crying like that." He spoke into the phone. "Please mom." Roger listened to her tears subside some. "I'll come up and see you in a few days. We'll talk. Just you and me. I promise. Okay?"

Joanie agreed. She need time to process this. He still needed time to process it. "Okay then I'll see you soon. I love you Mom. I'm so sorry. Really I am. I love you."

She said goodbye and he hung up the phone. Roger laid back on his bed. The afternoon playing through his head. The doctor reading his chart. "Your T cells dropped again. Low enough that we move your diagnosis from HIV positive to full blown AIDS. I'm sorry." He was sorry? How the hell did that doctor think Roger felt at that moment.

AIDS. He had AIDS. He hadn't called it that in years. In the beginning sure, that's what he had. That's what they all had. They had AIDS. They were dying of AIDS. But it wasn't until after Angel died that he was able to see that wasn't true. That was what Angel and Collins and especially Mimi had been trying to tell him for so long. They weren't dying of AIDS then. They were living with HIV. There was a difference. A big one.

April died of AIDS. Not really, but sort of. She quit. She gave up. She let it win without even trying to fight. She gave into the fear of having AIDS. So yeah he thought to himself, April died of AIDS.

But not the rest of them. Well duh Roger eventually they did die from it. But first they lived with it. Especially Angel and Collins. Angel who was already so far gone when they meant him, but who still managed to teach them all how to live. And to love. Roger wished he had realized all that back at the time instead of months later.

Collins was a good example of living with HIV. Hell that was his motto. Live life to the fullest because tomorrow you could get hit by a bus. And boy did Collins live at times. Roger suddenly realized how much he missed Collins. He wished he was here right now.

The door to the little place in his heart where he kept his Mimi creaked open. At this moment he really, really missed her. She had taught him so much and loved him so much. And he loved her. All the while they were living with HIV.

Now he had AIDS. He couldn't say he was surprised. He could tell things were getting worse. He was always tired anymore. His colds held on longer and longer. He just knew. And somehow, after all these years, knowing made it easier.

Roger heard the front door close and knew Cass was home. True he was scared of dying, but at this moment he was more scared of telling Cass he had full blown AIDS.

The door opened and in she came, beautiful and so full of life. "Hi Baby!" She plopped down on the bed next to him. "How did this morning go? Did you and Mark get all the music picked? I tried asking Mark but he went running off into his office. I swear, this project is making him wackier than usual." She shook her head as she leaned over and kissed him.

"Hey Baby." He said softly as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Listen I need to talk to you." He whispered.

Cass pulled back and looked at him. "What's wrong? What happened?"

He couldn't meet her eyes. He looked out the window at the slightly darkening sky and let out a long sigh.

She stared at him for a second. "Oh my God." She whispered hoarsely as she stood up from the bed. "You went to the doctor's today. Oh my God." She backed up, her hand covering her mouth.

Roger stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He felt her start to shake as the sobs came. "It's okay Baby." He whispered as he held her. "It's okay."



********************

Roger pulled the blanket up some on Cass and climbed out of the bed. It had gotten completely dark out since they had laid down. By the way she was sleeping so restlessly he knew she had gotten a migraine. Hopefully it would ease up if she got some more sleep.

Out in the living room he could hear voices. He walked out, softly closing the door behind him. Collin was sitting at the table playing cards with Jason. "Hey Kiddo. Did you eat?"

"Uh huh. Uncle Jason brought Chinese."

"Oh good. Did you finish your homework?"

"Yup. Gin!" He told Jason.

"Okay you little card shark, that was the last game. I quit."

"Ha!" Collin laughed at Jason before looking up to Roger. "Where's Mom?"

"She's asleep. She's got a headache."

"So does Uncle Mark. He's in his room." Collin told him as he got up and took his plate to the kitchen.

Roger watched him go then looked to Jason. "Um, did Mark….?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah he told me." He said softly.

"Um, good."

"Yeah, so a you know if you need anything…"

"Yeah I know. Thanks."

"Hey Dad come listen to this." Collin called from the living room as he picked at his guitar.

"In a little bit, I gotta talk to Mark first." He told him as he walked over to Mark's room. "Hey." He knocked as he opened the door.

"Hey. How's Cass?"

"Asleep. Migraine." He told him, closing the door behind him.

Mark nodded slowly.

"I, ah, need to talk to you." He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out an envelope he had put there earlier. "Here." He held it out to Mark who just stared at it.

"What's that?" He pointed at his name on the envelope.

"Relax, it's not what you think." He sat on the bed. "It's for Collin. I need you to keep it."

"What is it?"

"It's a letter. I wrote it a long time ago. I put your name on it in case anyone found it. I knew you'd hold it in case you ever have to give it to him."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just, look like I said, it's a letter. I need you to hold onto it. Just in case, in case he ever finds out the truth. You know it might explain some stuff. You know if he ever finds out. And I just want him to know, that it never mattered. Never made a difference. But you only give it to him if he ever finds out the truth."

"The truth?" Mark was thoroughly confused. "Finds out the truth about what?"

Roger let out a frustrated sigh at having to say it out loud. "That fact that I'm not really his father." He told him in an annoyed whisper.

"Oh." Mark didn't know what to say. This was a topic he was completely not expecting. Especially tonight. In all of Collin's almost thirteen an a half years, that had never been brought up before. "Um…"

"Look I don't want to sit here and talk about it or anything. Just hold onto it for me. Please."

"Um, yeah. Sure." Mark stared at the envelope now in his hand. "I'll take care of it. I promise."

"Good. Thanks." With that he got up and walked out of the room.