I changed the title because the other one didn't really work. Oh well. Here is chapter two. I hope that you like it!
Her Favorite Color- Chapter Two
I would like to say that I'm the type of person who isn't oblivious to anything. I always thought that I was on top of things, noticing everything that was happening around me. People had always seen me as the caring type, and I guess I was for a while. But ever since I started dating Matt, you can call me Insensible Sora.
I had no idea what was going on if it didn't have to do with Matt or me. Everything around us was "Who cares?" and "I have no idea." That was the turning point in my life. A very bad turning point. Usually the turning point consists of reactions like seeing the light or a complete personal makeover. My turning point, let me please forget it, was to ruin my life. It worked, didn't it?
You can imagine how that affected my life. People stop talking and turned their backs on me. I never thought that it was because of the way I was acting, completely unaware, I thought it was because they were all jealous of me, the new and unimproved Sora. Everybody was drifting away from me, all of my friends, except for the digidestined. Looking back on it, I think that they stayed with me because they felt obligated to. I know they weren't enjoying my company.
I finally realized what was happening to me while sitting in chem one day. The white walls reflected all the light that entered through the windows. It was almost unbearable. I was just sitting there, trying my best to keep the sun out of my eyes and taking notes on how to formulate compound elements and set them equal to each other (busy work while our teacher attempted to find a way to pay her taxes) when she looked up from her papers and spoke.
"Mr. Kamiya, are you feeling okay?"
All the heads in the classroom turned to look at Tai, even me, who had been ignoring him accidentally on purpose, was also intrigued by what was wrong with Tai. Looking at him quickly, he looked all right. But I looked a little longer and saw why our teacher had asked him. Tai was just looking out into space, chemistry forgotten. He looked sick. Beads of sweat were cascading down his face, like he had just woken up from a nightmare. I found myself wondering if he was going to be okay, and hoping that he would be. I hadn't cared this much for a person like this since Christmas.
"Mr. Kamiya, are you all right?"
No answer.
"Mr. Kamiya."
Tai slowly looked at her. He appeared confused and out of touch, like he didn't have the faintest idea of where he was.
"I believe that you need to go see the nurse, Mr. Kamiya."
Tai nodded in agreement, even though I don't think he knew what she was asking. He lifted his bag over his shoulder, took the pass and left. The rest of my class went back to their work, or in some of the girls case, painting their nails, even their toe nails. But not me. Without knowing it, I lifted my hand up into the air.
I remember looking at my hand stupidly, trying to make my mind force it to return its attention back to the paper full of numbers and elements. I had no idea why it was up there in the first place until the teacher called on me.
"Yes Miss Takenouchi?"
Just like Tai, I had no clue what was going on, but I found myself asking her a question anyway.
"Don't you think…… Does Tai? Should I, can I make sure that he's okay. He didn't look very well. I just want to make sure that he gets there…"
Blah, Blah, Blah. I don't really think she had any idea what I was saying, but she let me go, probably so I would shut up. I, too, found myself lifting my bag over my shoulder to leave the room.
Turning the corner, I saw that Tai was still walking slowly down the hallway. I just watched him for a little bit, taking in everything that just happened. I felt like crying right there in the hallway watching him go… somewhere. The nurses' office was in the other direction.
I tried to figure out what I was going to say and what I was going to ask him. Suddenly caring for him when I hadn't for a long time was scaring me. At that moment I knew that all I wanted to do was talk to him. So even before my thoughts were ready, I called for him.
"Tai! Wait up!"
He stopped walking and turned around to face me. I was already running to catch up with him. He sat down on a window ledge and opened the window to let some of the warm spring air flow through the hallway. He patted part of the ledge next to him for me to sit down when I made it to him. Without hesitation I took the seat and looked at him. I remember so vividly the way his face looked back at me. A small crooked smile was on lips, but his eyes were sad. In other words, he was smiling sadly at me.
"You okay?"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes." I said while a smile made its way upon my face.
"Promise not to tell? Not a soul."
I nodded quickly, feeling like we were kids again. Tai used to make me promise something before he told me what it was, like now. Looking at him with his cocked eyebrow, I had to stifle a laugh as I remembered on time in particular. We were in the park and he had made me promise not to tell anybody, and then he made me swear on my goldfish's grave. We were only six at the time. I promised and I swore on my goldfish's grave. Tai leaned in closely, and with out me knowing, picked some sand up from the sandbox beside us, and threw it in my hair. I chased him throughout the entire park before I finally got some sand in his hair. I remember it taking much longer to get the sand out of his hair then it did mine.
Tai's face became very serious, so I tried to make mine look as stern as possible. Then he held out his pinky to me.
'Wow,' I thought, staring at his pinky. 'This must be some really serious shit.'
"Pinky Swear?" He asked. I linked my pinky with his.
"Pinky Swear."
Tai shook his head and the smile faded. For I while there, I felt like we were kids again, and he was just going to put more sand in my hair. I wish that were the case. But even for that one minute, remembering that memory had been something that changed the way I looked at Tai. No matter how much I wished for it, we weren't kids anymore.
"No?" I asked, mostly to myself though. "Why not?" Tai looked at me and then looked out the window. The blue sky radiated its beauty onto us, that's what I believe. Tai reminded me of somebody I didn't know, and I reminded myself of somebody who still searching for something, and didn't even know what it was. Sometimes, the things that are most beautiful, are the unknowns. Still looking out the window, Tai began to talk.
"Things don't always work out the way you want them to, Sora. Things change, people change, and it hurts. It hurts because you feel like you made a million sacrifices that you could have avoided, but you didn't, just so one person would be happy. And then you can't even recognize that person anymore, and that hurts more, because… because then you know that you've lost them for good. The one person who you thought was special, is gone. And that…. That hurts like hell."
I didn't really understand what he meant, but I knew what he was saying. Tai was in pain. That was all that I needed to know. I reached for his hand and took it within mine.
His touch felt like a breath of life to me. He changed me that spring day, behind the window underneath the blue sky. I could feel Tai's pain myself as we held hands, and all I wanted to do was to fix it. Then the bell rang.
Teens rushed out into the hallways and knocked into us from our window seats. Voices boomed and echoed in the closed area, but we continued to hold hands. The hallway became more and more crowded and Tai opened his mouth to say something. But nothing came out. He then let go of my hand and walked away, leaving me with me thoughts.
I already said that his touch changed me, but it's true. After he told me whatever he was trying to tell me, I realized how I had been acting. And I hated it. I was being selfish when I didn't want to be, and I was hurting people along the way. Tai was hurting, and I remember thinking that I might possibly be the one hurting him, but at the time, I just pushed away that thought thinking that I never did anything to hurt him. All I wanted to do now was help him. That's how I knew he had changed me. I cared for him again, I needed to care for him.
If only I hadn't been so unsure of the way I was feeling, he would still be here. Even though he practically told me that he loved me, and that I had hurt him, I still didn't know what I was looking for. Only that I was looking for something. But that never helps anybody, does it? Especially not me.
That chapter 2 everybody! Did you like it, not like it? Please review my story!
~dorkiss