Oh, wow.  How long has it been since my last update?  Feels like an eternity to me!  Well I'm back! Did ya miss me?  I've been pretty busy, though.  I went on a mission trip with my church this past week and I was at the beach for a whole week before that and then there we're finals and does anybody really read these, because if you are, I'm sorry for my rambling excuses.  Anyway, here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy!  R&R

Her Favorite Color- chapter 6

The Truth

            His words echoed throughout my mind for weeks after that night.  His song was burned into me and I couldn't get them out of my head no matter how hard I tried.  I don't want it to sound like I wanted to forget, because I didn't… I don't, but I even wrote them down so I wouldn't forget, but the lyrics continued to haunt me for so long that I lost count of days.  And plus the fact that I couldn't stop thinking of Tai didn't help much either I guess. 

I don't remember much that happened that night.  I wish that I did. I do recall running into the bathrooms and locking myself in a stall.  I just sat there on the toilet staring at the wall in front of me.  What else could I do?  I knew that I wouldn't be able to make him stay and I hadn't realized that I was in love with him, so what good would I had really been able to do?  I found peace in one of the bathroom stalls that night.  The voices of all the happy girls reapplying their makeup that they had just reapplied thirty minutes ago made me feel at ease.  It was as though their peace and uncomplicated feelings were drifting above and under the door to make their way to me.  All their feelings could sense mine because they were such opposites, and they were attracted to each other for that reason, absorbed in each other.  I'm not sure if that makes sense to anybody beside myself, but that's how it truly felt.

All the writings that were on the wall stared at me, wondering and astonished as I gazed right back at them.  I read almost all of the sayings and songs that were inscribed upon the wall, but I can only remember one of them.

'Please speak slowly.  My heart is learning.  Teach me heartache, stop this burning now.'

I looked at that line from a song that I had never heard for what seemed like hours when I heard a knock on the stall door.

"Sora…?"

Mimi.  Of course I didn't expect to be able to run away and avoid everything.  The sound of her voice made me think of all the things that were still in my life. The things that didn't care how much pain I felt.   People like Matt and the others, my mom, college, flower shop, Biyomon…  How I wished it would all go away.  I wanted to be left alone.  But I couldn't ignore Mimi.  A smile came across my face as I thought, 'Who can?'

"Yeah?"

"You wanna talk?"

I opened the door for her.  The stall wasn't so terribly small, so she fit well enough, though I'm sure she would have rather had more space.  When Mimi stepped in I saw a look of disbelief and uncertainty cross her face before she slowly and hesitantly knelt down on the floor.

"Not really." I said, "But I guess that I should just get it over with as soon a possible, right?"

Mimi shrugged her shoulders and looked at me carefully.  I don't think that she really expected me to say anything, but she knew that a digidestined's friendship doesn't always need word.  For once in her life Mimi wasn't talking nonstop, she didn't start the conversation like she usually would.  She knew that I had to be the one to speak first.  I think that Mimi really grew up that night.

I felt the tears start to leak out of my eyes uncontrollably.  I had kept them in and now my feelings were exploding from the inside and I couldn't stop them.  I let them fall.

"Why…" I said through gasps of air, "Why did it…did he leave?"

Mimi just looked at me.  She wasn't supposed to say anything yet.  She knew her part well, and I was still confused at what needed to be done.

"I don't understand any of this Mimi!  Just weeks ago I was perfectly fine.  What has happened to me!  It's been a year since I…since I started dating Matt…"

Mimi looked at me like I struck gold.  Matt?  What did Matt have to do with anything?  That just slipped out of my mouth by accident.  But according to the way Mimi reacted to it, I was on the right track.

"I don't get it…"

"I think you do."

She took my hand in hers and gave then a squeeze.  Tears began to fall from her eyes as well, though much more perfect and movie like.  The audience just looks at this character crying and there's no doubt in their minds what made her cry.  It's so emotional that you feel like the reasons that you cry are unimportant and silly.  I would expect nothing less from Mimi.

My mind opened and millions of thoughts and memories ran through it. 

My five-year-old self had just gotten to the bottom of the slide when a soccer ball rolled between my feet.  He had kicked it…

…We were standing next to out mothers wondering why they could talked about kitchen appliances for hours on end…

…I had just failed my class's first multiplication test.  Looking over to the seat beside me I found that he had failed too…

…Laughing at all his wacky jokes ad stories on the bus to camp…

…I was falling, but he caught my hand…

…He was taking care of his sickly sister.  I admired him…

…First day of High school and he was still at my side…

…Christmas.  Cookies.  I left him alone, but he still waited…

…His eyes looking at me, and mine looking back.  His pain.  It was all my fault…

"I've been so selfish!"

I didn't try to stop the tears.  They wouldn't stop and I cried more then I ever had.  Mimi quickly wrapped her arms around me and I could feel her crying too.  All I could see was the dark stage where he was just standing.  I cried out for him.

"I'm sorry Tai!  Please don't leave me!  I'll do anything…please…"

I choked out the last tears and cried onto Mimi's shoulder.

"Please… Not you."

I reached out for his hand, to touch it one last time.  But I missed.

"Not you…"

******

I found out later that the others had gone looking for him and left Mimi behind to try to talk to me and clam me down.  I went to the playground where I first met Tai, and sat on the bottom of the slide just like I had that day.  I looked at everything around me, but I saw nothing.  The darkness of the night welcomed me.  It was all still and quiet, just how I wanted it to be.  I ran from the club to come here.  Everybody was waiting for us when we walked out of the bathroom. A look of defeat and sorrow spread throughout them.  And I couldn't face them.  Especially Matt.  The look on his face killed me.  It was full of confusion and hurt.  I was surrounded by all of those feelings already, and I didn't want to have to feel more.  I just needed to think.  I didn't have much time to do that though, because Matt found me only moments later.

He looked different as he sat on a swing near me.  He looked up at the moon and I saw that he was truly hurt.  But I saw something else as well.  Understanding. 

"Matt I…"

"I know Sora.  It's okay."

"What?"

He looked straight at me with a sad smile on his face.

"It's okay.  You don't need to be sorry Sora.  I… I understand.  Tai was really important to you, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, he was.  I don't know what I'm going to do without him."

There was a silence between us.  But it wasn't awkward, it was peaceful, let everything be silence.  After a while he smiled at me a started to speak again.

"I've known for a really long time."

"Known what?"  I didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about.

"You know, Sora.  That your in love with Tai."

My mouth fell open in disbelief.  I'm in love with him?!  How could Matt know something that I myself wasn't aware of?

"I mean, I've seen the way you look at him, and you were so worried about him lately.  He means something to you that I could never compare to.  We all know Sora.  And he loves you too.  Did you know that?"

I was crying again.  I couldn't believe myself.  Matt's words dawned on me.  'He means something to you'.  Tai did mean something to me.  He does.  He means so much more, too.   

" Yes, I do…well, I found out tonight.  I don't know how I figured it out.  I just…knew.  Matt? What am I going to do know?  Tai just left, you couldn't find him.  Did you check his house?  Did he go home?"

"No.  Kari called her mom.  He wasn't there, and Mrs. Kamiya has no idea what's going on.  She said she would call Kari's cell if he appeared.  But we haven't heard anything yet."

"Oh.  I gotta go."

I stated to run out of the park when I heard Matt calling after me.

"Where are you going Sora?"

I stopped dead in my tracks.  I hadn't really thought about it.  Not specifically.

"To look for Tai!"

"Oh! Hey, Sora?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck!"

I looked at Matt.  Standing there, in the middle of the sidewalk.  He had just made me realize that I had always been in love with my best friend even though I had dated him for over a year.  Matt definitely wasn't selfish like I had been.  And yet, there he was, wishing me luck.  I ran all the way back to him and gave him a hug.  

"I'll find him Matt, I swear. I won't stop looking for him until I have."  I said, holding onto him tight. 

"I know you will."

I stepped back and looked into his blue eyes.  I never thought that Matt would be the one that helped me like he did.  But then again, Matt always surprised you.

"Thanks, Matt."

"For what?"

"For….understanding.  For everything you've ever done for me."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

I couldn't help but smile.

"Do you think that the others will understand?"

"I don't know.  I don't think the even understood Tai that much."

I sighed.  I knew he was right.  Except for Kari, Matt, Mimi, and I, I don't think they really understood what had just happened.  But I put a smile on my face anyway.  That's just how things are.

"Hey, Tai put on a pretty good show tonight didn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess…" Matt put on a little jealous face, but quickly smiled sadly at me.

"I'll miss you, Sora."

"I'll miss you too."

And with that, I turned and ran away, never looking back.  I would search all of Japan if I had to.  Now that I know I love Tai, I'm pretty sure I'll search to the ends of the earth.

Okay…how was it?  Please review! I want to know what you think.  Good, okay, or just plain pooey?  I hope that it went pretty smooth, and that you understand.  I'll have more of an explanation in the next chapter.

~dorkiss