AN: Ok I got so many review or sort of for my last kikyo entry so I thought
I'd do another one. Okay here it goes, hope you enjoy. REVIEW PLEASE
A Girl's thoughts Chapter 4 maybe I should go
The night seems so uncomfortable without you golden gaze on me anymore. The day no longer holds a future for me. Because it was with you. I must be stupid to think that maybe you would take me back. Maybe I should go and leave without a trace. Would you care? Would come looking for me? And if you found me would you jump with joy? I want you yes that is my desire, but for so long I have watched you grow and blossom into flower I could never make you.
She heals you I damage you. Every time you hurt her she keeps running back. I won't deny her strength. I won't even deny the fact that I admire her strength just a little. But have no mistaking I don't even consider her a ally. "my love come with me?" I now see how stupid that question sounds. How could I a dead woman brought back ask you to come with me to the depths of hell? When you soul still has things unfinished.
You say you live to avenge me but I don't want revenge. What good will it do? It can't bring me back to life. Full life, the only thing that can is that girl's soul. But you won't let me have it. No you protect her like you did me at one time. I was foolish I was stupid to believe that I could ever bring you down with me. Each day my spell of love wears off and her spell becomes stronger. Pulling you in like I did you. I'm angry at her and myself. I suppose it's the way we both treat you like some prize to be won.
But then for you I would give love forever. But she is one step ahead she would give love for eternity. I can't win I now know. But can I.... Can I let you go that easily? Can I just set you free? How could I, I couldn't I love you to much I desire you to much. Without you I feel empty.
More empty than my hollow clay body. Am I destined to be alone forever? NO! I won't be I can't be. I couldn't bare the pain again. I love you Inuyasha it's truth. Though it will never leave my lips. Till the same words are spoken from yours.
Love is a complicated thing and you are in the middle of it. I hate myself for you making you choose. I hate myself for hurting you when you did nothing to deserve it. Yet all this hatred I have for you. Will feed on nothing more than your sorrow.
Forgive me I would rather die again then see you die before me. To see you broken in heart soul and mind. Forgive me for thinking of only myself. Forgive me for putting you in this situation. Maybe I should go what do you think? Maybe if I disappear so will all your pain. Maybe if I'm gone she'll heal you again till you heart is no longer mine.
No I won't give in that easily. I will not be weak I will be strong. But for how long can I postpone your love for her? How long before I lose you and you are no longer in my grasp? I WILL NOT FALL! DO HEAR ME? I will not lose to some reincarnation not now not ever. There is only one me Inuyasha. She could never make you feel the same way I did. She could never replace me. Though it seems she is. Inuyasha don't forget your promise to me. You said you'd always protect me did you not? If you lie then maybe you are not who I thought you were. I know it seems outrageous to ask you to leave her behind. And make her but a mere memory. But try please? I will not stand for this any longer.
She is in the way of our love Inuyasha. Can you stand that? Please say no because if you can then maybe you love her. Don't deny you have some feelings towards my copy. Get one thing straight she may look like me she may have all the same features. But she WILL NEVER be ME! Never I tell you. Her eyes can be vibrant but I'll make more vibrant. Her voice can be sweet. But I'll make mine as sweet as an angel's voice. Her arms can wrap around you in comfort but I will do much more than comfort.
She may smile with love and understanding. But no one can understand you more than I. Inuyasha we were like one the first time we met. How could you let her step in the way? How? Anger and resentment course through my body hatred above all. Pain and betrayal are my only emotions to which I can identify.
Why do you save her? Why do you care? Is she more to you than me? Does she mean everything? GOD INUYASHA I want to hate you but I can't I want to despise you but I can't. I want to kill you but I can't. I thought the love I had for you long vanished but it seems that it remained buried deep down under all the hatred I felt towards you somewhat betrayal.
Do you love her or is she my reflection. Do you see my love burning through her image. Do love her because she has my face and reminds you of me? Do allow her to stay with you because you need someone to feel alone with? Or do you really look at her and see her as her own person? Do you see her as someone who is better or worse than I? My love tell me these things you won't tell me. Say the things you won't say.
I hate her with all my heart. She may be kind and loving she may have all the things I don't have. But I'll tell one things she can never take from me, you. I will not let her. I will die making you mine. I will die making you hate her for all the things she has done to me.
You can't always protect her I promise you that. My cold grey eyes narrow as I look out into the distance the black sky stretching endlessly. I have feelings emotions yet no heart of my own. I have no plus yet I live. I carry no air in my lungs yet I walk gracefully.
You ask me how I can despise her. How someone innocent can be hated. Maybe because of what she is doing to you. Maybe because the fact that you are growing stronger with her near. You love her and you can't hide it from me. You may run to me but you heart tells you to turn back and never come to me again. But your mind tells you no to keep going.
What is the point of your love if I cannot have your heart. Your mind does me no good. Only you heart can mean anything to me. Your amber eyes have always bore down into my soul. And even now the still do looking at me intently. The gaze never wavering. I try to stay emotionless but it is hard not to smile at you. Hard not to yell or feel some kind of emotion.
Don't leave me don't abandon me just yet. I hate the feeling of being alone though I withstand it. I hate not being held in your embrace or feeling you lips on mine. I hate not being the one in control of you heart. Instead she now holds it not only half but most.
I cry out to you save me from the dark. But you obviously do not hear my plea. So I scream again and you come running just like before. It makes me believe that you still care just a little now. The way you eyes drift to mine make my cold body shiver.
Love me like before have me like before.
But then again how could you? You still have her in you heart forever don't you. She had make a whole so deep that not even I can fill it up. Only she can. She is what you desire. She is what you want.
I inhale the air as the breeze blows my long black locks of hair behind me. My soul creatures flying around me. Giving me company. I breathe in inhaling the smell of your forest. I see the tree to which I pinned you to. I raise my hand and run my long fingers over the hole made by my arrow. The on that pierced you heart. A pain of guilt rushes over my body. My contentment gone replaced with sadness.
"Forgive me." The words barley slip out as I step down and head down a dark path. Leading on my only light is the full moon and the stars shining brighter than usual. Will I ever get over you? I doubt it.
Will I ever not love you? Unlikely.
HEY EVEYONE OKAY THIS IS THE UPDATED CHAPTER I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PLEASE REVIEW!
A Girl's thoughts Chapter 4 maybe I should go
The night seems so uncomfortable without you golden gaze on me anymore. The day no longer holds a future for me. Because it was with you. I must be stupid to think that maybe you would take me back. Maybe I should go and leave without a trace. Would you care? Would come looking for me? And if you found me would you jump with joy? I want you yes that is my desire, but for so long I have watched you grow and blossom into flower I could never make you.
She heals you I damage you. Every time you hurt her she keeps running back. I won't deny her strength. I won't even deny the fact that I admire her strength just a little. But have no mistaking I don't even consider her a ally. "my love come with me?" I now see how stupid that question sounds. How could I a dead woman brought back ask you to come with me to the depths of hell? When you soul still has things unfinished.
You say you live to avenge me but I don't want revenge. What good will it do? It can't bring me back to life. Full life, the only thing that can is that girl's soul. But you won't let me have it. No you protect her like you did me at one time. I was foolish I was stupid to believe that I could ever bring you down with me. Each day my spell of love wears off and her spell becomes stronger. Pulling you in like I did you. I'm angry at her and myself. I suppose it's the way we both treat you like some prize to be won.
But then for you I would give love forever. But she is one step ahead she would give love for eternity. I can't win I now know. But can I.... Can I let you go that easily? Can I just set you free? How could I, I couldn't I love you to much I desire you to much. Without you I feel empty.
More empty than my hollow clay body. Am I destined to be alone forever? NO! I won't be I can't be. I couldn't bare the pain again. I love you Inuyasha it's truth. Though it will never leave my lips. Till the same words are spoken from yours.
Love is a complicated thing and you are in the middle of it. I hate myself for you making you choose. I hate myself for hurting you when you did nothing to deserve it. Yet all this hatred I have for you. Will feed on nothing more than your sorrow.
Forgive me I would rather die again then see you die before me. To see you broken in heart soul and mind. Forgive me for thinking of only myself. Forgive me for putting you in this situation. Maybe I should go what do you think? Maybe if I disappear so will all your pain. Maybe if I'm gone she'll heal you again till you heart is no longer mine.
No I won't give in that easily. I will not be weak I will be strong. But for how long can I postpone your love for her? How long before I lose you and you are no longer in my grasp? I WILL NOT FALL! DO HEAR ME? I will not lose to some reincarnation not now not ever. There is only one me Inuyasha. She could never make you feel the same way I did. She could never replace me. Though it seems she is. Inuyasha don't forget your promise to me. You said you'd always protect me did you not? If you lie then maybe you are not who I thought you were. I know it seems outrageous to ask you to leave her behind. And make her but a mere memory. But try please? I will not stand for this any longer.
She is in the way of our love Inuyasha. Can you stand that? Please say no because if you can then maybe you love her. Don't deny you have some feelings towards my copy. Get one thing straight she may look like me she may have all the same features. But she WILL NEVER be ME! Never I tell you. Her eyes can be vibrant but I'll make more vibrant. Her voice can be sweet. But I'll make mine as sweet as an angel's voice. Her arms can wrap around you in comfort but I will do much more than comfort.
She may smile with love and understanding. But no one can understand you more than I. Inuyasha we were like one the first time we met. How could you let her step in the way? How? Anger and resentment course through my body hatred above all. Pain and betrayal are my only emotions to which I can identify.
Why do you save her? Why do you care? Is she more to you than me? Does she mean everything? GOD INUYASHA I want to hate you but I can't I want to despise you but I can't. I want to kill you but I can't. I thought the love I had for you long vanished but it seems that it remained buried deep down under all the hatred I felt towards you somewhat betrayal.
Do you love her or is she my reflection. Do you see my love burning through her image. Do love her because she has my face and reminds you of me? Do allow her to stay with you because you need someone to feel alone with? Or do you really look at her and see her as her own person? Do you see her as someone who is better or worse than I? My love tell me these things you won't tell me. Say the things you won't say.
I hate her with all my heart. She may be kind and loving she may have all the things I don't have. But I'll tell one things she can never take from me, you. I will not let her. I will die making you mine. I will die making you hate her for all the things she has done to me.
You can't always protect her I promise you that. My cold grey eyes narrow as I look out into the distance the black sky stretching endlessly. I have feelings emotions yet no heart of my own. I have no plus yet I live. I carry no air in my lungs yet I walk gracefully.
You ask me how I can despise her. How someone innocent can be hated. Maybe because of what she is doing to you. Maybe because the fact that you are growing stronger with her near. You love her and you can't hide it from me. You may run to me but you heart tells you to turn back and never come to me again. But your mind tells you no to keep going.
What is the point of your love if I cannot have your heart. Your mind does me no good. Only you heart can mean anything to me. Your amber eyes have always bore down into my soul. And even now the still do looking at me intently. The gaze never wavering. I try to stay emotionless but it is hard not to smile at you. Hard not to yell or feel some kind of emotion.
Don't leave me don't abandon me just yet. I hate the feeling of being alone though I withstand it. I hate not being held in your embrace or feeling you lips on mine. I hate not being the one in control of you heart. Instead she now holds it not only half but most.
I cry out to you save me from the dark. But you obviously do not hear my plea. So I scream again and you come running just like before. It makes me believe that you still care just a little now. The way you eyes drift to mine make my cold body shiver.
Love me like before have me like before.
But then again how could you? You still have her in you heart forever don't you. She had make a whole so deep that not even I can fill it up. Only she can. She is what you desire. She is what you want.
I inhale the air as the breeze blows my long black locks of hair behind me. My soul creatures flying around me. Giving me company. I breathe in inhaling the smell of your forest. I see the tree to which I pinned you to. I raise my hand and run my long fingers over the hole made by my arrow. The on that pierced you heart. A pain of guilt rushes over my body. My contentment gone replaced with sadness.
"Forgive me." The words barley slip out as I step down and head down a dark path. Leading on my only light is the full moon and the stars shining brighter than usual. Will I ever get over you? I doubt it.
Will I ever not love you? Unlikely.
HEY EVEYONE OKAY THIS IS THE UPDATED CHAPTER I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PLEASE REVIEW!