CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: CONVERSATIONS
Friday, 12th February 1999
One by one the other students left the common room, leaving Buffy and Draco alone in front of the fire. Buffy had curled up, huddling under her cloak, using the armrest of the green leather couch as a pillow. Draco sat at the other end of the couch, his arms spread across the back, his feet resting on the coffee table in front of them.
"Can I ask you something?" Draco asked.
"Yeah sure."
"Well, it's just…you know all about my family, but…you've never spoken about yours."
Buffy sighed. She knew that Draco and Blaise were interested in who she was, but she couldn't answer in the way that she wanted to. She hated keeping secrets from them, but there was no real way around it.
"What do you want to know?"
"Well…are they alive?" Draco asked.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. I live…uh, lived with my mom. She and dad got divorced about three years ago."
"Any siblings?"
"Just me. What about you? Brothers, sisters?"
Draco shook his head.
"I had a brother when I was younger, but…he was killed."
Buffy couldn't help herself. Draco looked sad and vulnerable, something she'd never really seen on him in the three weeks that she'd been at Hogwarts. She leant across and placed her hand on top of his, gently squeezing his fingers.
"I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago," he said defensively, pulling his hand away, uncomfortable with the emotions that she conjured within him. "I barely even remember him."
They sat in silence, Draco suddenly feeling guilty for snapping at her and pulling away. He'd never felt guilt for being mean to any other student before. It was his trademark to be mean and nasty, but suddenly he hated that he'd treated Buffy badly.
Draco looked across at her and noticed that she was fiddling with the ever-present necklace, a silver cross dangling from a thin chain. He'd often wondered about why she wore it.
"What's with the necklace?" he asked.
Buffy looked down, unaware that she'd even been touching the first gift Angel had ever given her.
"Oh, uh…it was a gift," Buffy explained.
"Who from?"
"A boyfriend," Buffy replied. "Or, ex-boyfriend actually."
Draco felt something unfamiliar rising in his stomach. Jealousy, sadness that she'd been with someone that she was obviously still attached to, if the necklace was any indication.
"You two were serious?"
Buffy nodded and let go of her necklace, her arms encircling her knees that she drew into her chest.
"About as serious as two people could get," she replied. "But we couldn't be together. Too many problems."
"Such as you coming to Hogwarts?" Draco asked.
"That was one of the many other reasons," Buffy said. "But…it wasn't a bad breakup. We're still friends. Or sort of. We don't hate each other or anything, so that's okay."
"You miss him?"
Buffy nodded. "Well, not just him. All of them. My mom…my friends. Will, Xand, Giles."
Again Draco felt slightly uncomfortable. He hated knowing that the blonde girl was saddened by being at Hogwarts. He knew that there was more to Buffy being at Hogwarts than she'd let on. There was no way that Buffy was only at the school because she had nothing better to do. It didn't seem plausible, but Draco didn't know what to believe.
"Don't get me wrong," Buffy continued, seeing the slightly hurt look on Draco's face, "I'm getting used to being here. You and Blaise have made it so much easier, but…I still miss my friends."
"But you've kept in contact with them, haven't you?" he asked.
"Sorta. But it's not the same as talking to them everyday, y'know."
Draco didn't have any real comprehension of how badly Buffy missed her friends, not only because he didn't understand the circumstances of her departure, but because he'd never had any real friends. The two people who were supposedly closest to him had no idea of who he really was, and Draco couldn't imagine ever confiding in Crabbe and Goyle the way that he confided in Buffy.
"Summers?" Draco asked hesitantly.
"Mmm?"
"Are we friends?" His voice was quiet, unsure of himself. Gone was the cocky and confident boy that Buffy had come to know over the last three weeks, and in his place was someone who wanted nothing more than to be liked.
She nodded and smiled softly at him. "Yeah, of course we are. You're a good friend. I really like hanging out with you."
He couldn't help but smile back at her.
"I've never really had close friends before. Not even Crabbe and Goyle."
"I kinda noticed that," Buffy replied. "Why didn't you ever get close to anyone?"
Draco could hear his father's voice in the back of his mind. Emotions makes you weak.
"I was always taught that friendship and emotions aren't what give someone strength," Draco explained.
Buffy scoffed and shook her head.
"Well, whoever taught you that obviously had never tried to use their emotions as an asset," Buffy replied.
She could remember the first time she met Kendra who had insisted that having emotional attachments would hinder Buffy's position as the Slayer. She'd told Kendra otherwise, and she knew that Draco needed to know what she had told Kendra.
"Emotions are what give you an edge. You strike me as the kinda guy who was taught that power is what will get you what you need. It's not enough though. It's never enough. You can have serious amounts of power, but be unable to use it. But it's your emotions, your feelings that end up pushing you to limits you didn't know you had. They give you fire and passion and a reason to keep fighting," Buffy explained.
Draco's eyes shifted from Buffy's down to her mouth and back up again. His heart was beating rapidly, and the talk of fire and passion wasn't helping him. He shifted closer to her, and Buffy didn't move away from him. The Slayer saw what he was doing and felt her own heartbeat begin racing. She wanted to kiss him, and knew that he wanted to kiss her as well.
"Fire and passion huh?" Draco repeated, his voice no more than a whisper.
The two teens unconsciously licked their lips simultaneously, hesitantly moving closer to each other. Draco wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted with a desperate ache. Buffy closed her eyes as their lips met in a slow and tentative kiss. Buffy's hand came to rest on Draco's chest, marvelling in his warmth and his rapid heartbeat.
He was so different than Angel. Warm and soft, considerably smaller, though still taller than Buffy. Even with the bad boy persona, there was an innocence to him that Angel hadn't had. Draco's eyes didn't have hundreds of years behind them. His silver eyes held a mischievous sparkle that Buffy had come to know and love.
The kiss deepened, Draco pulling Buffy closer so that she was now half-seated in his lap, his arms around her waist. Buffy brought her fee hand up to touch his face, then moved it to tangle in the softness of his hair. She'd always wondered what type of texture his hair would have, and now she knew. She'd been expecting copious amounts of gel, but it was merely soft and smooth.
Draco manoeuvred his hands so that they were inside Buffy's cloak, holding her tightly against him. He'd never felt anything like this before in his life, and he knew that he wasn't going to give up the exquisite feelings anytime soon, no matter what his father said.
They broke the kiss, Buffy resting her forehead against Draco's as they panted for breath. They were both shaking slightly with the intensity of it. The Slayer cuddled closer to him and buried her head into his shoulder, dropping a gentle kiss in the crook of his neck.
Draco turned so that his face was resting in Buffy's hair, breathing in the scent of strawberries. He closed his eyes, feeling completely and utterly content for the first time in his life.
"Buffy?" he whispered quietly.
She pulled back and looked at him, noting the serious expression on his face. "Yeah?"
"Are you…are we…"
She nodded and kissed him gently. "If you want."
Draco smiled widely and Buffy felt her heart skip a few beats at seeing him smile. It was a rarity, and she made a mental note to make him smile far more often.
"I want," he replied, kissing her again. The kiss escalated, neither of them caring that anyone could walk in on them at any second.
Buffy forgot everything that had happened in the last few weeks, forgot why she was at Hogwarts, forgot that she was the Slayer and forgot that she was there because of something she hadn't done. All that existed in that moment was she and Draco, and she wouldn't have had it any other way.
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Y'know, I wasn't gonna update, but then I thought…that's just damn well mean. Like SOME authors out there who don't seem to update very regularly…rah at them! Anyways, much thanks for yoru feedback.
SNEAK PREVIEW OF CHAPTER NINETEEN:
"You're not just at Hogwarts because you had nothing better to do are you?" Draco asked.
…
He weighed his options, thinking over every possible reaction he could choose to have because of Buffy's confession. He breathed in deeply and made his choice.
Toodles.
K