NB: Some credit must go to Sakuralight for her 'Journal', which proved to be an inspiration…not that I approve of being so negative on Sakura. That is, of course, why I had to write this.
This whole chapter is written in Eriol's point of view. The names in between sections are merely dividers.
Please sit back, relax, and enjoy. There will be more, I just can't promise when. I have a previous story to work on (that I can finally get back to).
Emergence
by Azi
Chapter 1:Routine
Sakura
I heard the doorbell ring and ran to answer. No
one warned me about a visit so it could be just about anyone, but I had
a feeling it was her.Poor girl. She always came to me when she was
at her lowest. I let her cry and get her real problems off her chest. I
let her get them off her chest. I always thought it ironic that
her real problems were caused by the people who considered her the 'sunshine
of the universe' and the 'epitome of innocence.'
I always heard all sides of the story. I was the
sounding board. They call her innocent and sweet in one breath and then
turn around and call her selfish in the next. "We give her everything and
she doesn't even notice." I've heard that so many times now. She sees things
differently though. "They take so much, Eriol. They don't understand what
they're doing. They take my experiences, my worries, my freedom and my
choices. Why can't they let me live my life?" She usually
follows that with another round of sobs.
True to my expectations, when I opened the door, she was standing there. Light tears were slowly dripping down her cheeks, very similar to the light drizzle falling from the clouds. I pulled her inside, not wanting her to get sick – she was the only one who cared. We both thought that, but it was only true for me. They cared about her; they just didn't understand her.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and cried on my shoulder. "Oh, Eriol. Why do they do that?" Like every other time, I whispered comforting words and led her to someplace she could sit. I would answer her questions or let her talk until her tears faded. Today, that might take a while. Like the rain outside, her sobs intensified. I always wondered if she had a connection to the weather. Every time she was really upset, it poured. I choked back a small fit of laughter and Sakura looked up at me with a hint of anger in her eyes. Her weeping had ceased. "Just what do you find so funny." Her voice was harsher than most would associate with such a sweet angel, but I've heard worse.
I looked at her with a grin, one that showed I had been thinking something evil. "I was merely thinking how sad it is that they would have to cancel their picnic. If only they knew it was their own fault."
She looked at me, not fully understanding what I meant – her confusion showing clearly in her eyes. "Hoe?"
I smiled at her, this time nicely. Soon she would be willing to talk about her problems. "I have come to the conclusion, my sweet Sakura, that the weather responds to your emotions. When you are happy, we live in a world full of sunshine. When you are sad…when you cry, we have rain. It's been raining an awful lot lately, Sakura-chan. Is there something you want to talk about?" I knew it would take her a while to respond, she was thinking about what I said.
"Why do they do that, Eriol? Why wouldn't Li-kun let me think for myself? Why does Mei Lin-chan never tell me anything? Why don't they let me find things out on my own?" Her words were punctuated by the occasional sniff.
I hugged her close again. "They are trying to protect you Sakura-chan. They don't understand what they're really doing."
"I don't want bodyguards, Eriol! I want friends," she snapped at me. This was a tone of voice no one ever heard except me – and maybe Touya. She always hid her anger and frustration from everyone else; she was too afraid of hurting someone's feelings. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, it's not your fault. It's just that I want them to let me help them. I want them to talk to me. I want them to confide in me. I want," her lips trembled, showing she was close to tears again. "I want them to trust me."
That's it! That's the key to today's problems: they did something to make her feel they didn't trust her. I stood up, pulling her up with behind me. I rested one hand on her waist and continued to clasp her hand with my mother one. She placed her free hand on my shoulder and we began to dance – there was after all a custom to keep up. "So Sakura-chan, shall we discuss today's events? We do need something to talk about while we dance." I tried to sound casual, as if it didn't matter if we talked about it or not.
The first hint of a smile crossed her face since she arrived. "Well, we are dancing." She left it at that for a few seconds. "I was actually on time for our picnic this morning. When I got there, Tomoyo-chan and Mei Lin were talking. I heard Tomoyo-chan say 'No, she's too sweet and naïve, they'd be all wrong for each other.' Then Mei Lin saw me and motioned got Tomoyo-chan to be quiet. They stopped talking as I sat down to join them. When I asked what they had been talking about, Tomoyo said that they had been discussing their math homework. I didn't think we had any, but I let it pass.
"Li-kun showed up a few minutes later and interrupted Tomoyo-chan's raving about the latest outfit she made for me and how she'll tape me wearing it. I tried to thank him, but he just ignored me and talked to Mei Lin. I don't know why I even try to be his friend; he hates me. Anyway, a little while later, I asked Tomoyo-chan what the math homework was because I still didn't remember having any. Li-kun looked at me as if I was stupid and said that there wasn't any math homework.
"I was confused because Tomoyo-chan always pays attention in class. She would know if there's homework or not. So I asked her what she and Mei Lin had been talking about. Mei Lin just snapped at me; she told me that it was none of my business. Then she – she said 'if we wanted your nose in our lives, we'd tell you about it.' I must have looked upset because Tomoyo looked at me and said, 'Sakura-chan, she didn't mean it like that. She just meant that our personal lives are no concern of yours.'
"I couldn't believe my best friend thought that. I sat there dumbfounded for a little while then, finally, I looked at them all and told them that if I had known they didn't want me around, I wouldn't have bothered them with my presence. I got up and left, ignoring them calling after me. I feel guilty about leaving them there now."
We stopped our dance and I made her look at me. "Don't feel guilty, daughter dear." Sakura smiled again, this time at the pet name, "Maybe that was just what they needed to remind them that you have feelings and aren't just a porcelain doll to be protected and dressed up."
She nodded. "You're right. Maybe tomorrow things will be different. You know Eriol-kun, I'm a little tired. Do you mind if I take a small nap? I'll make you dinner when I get up."
This, too, was part of our routine or custom. I laughed and held out my arm, "Of course, Sakura-chan. I know you tire easily. Let me show you to your room." She knows where her room is but she took my arm anyway. Following through with these little things always cheers her up. To be honest, it cheers me up too.
I got her settled under a blanket and was leaving when she called me back. "Eriol? Who listens to your problems? Who do you talk to? I mean, you're so good to us. You let all of us come to you. We talk your ears off and you make everything all right for a few more days. Do you have anyone who will do that for you?" I shook my head, I hadn't thought about it before. "Would you let me try? We could talk during dinner."
"Perhaps we will, Sakura-chan, but rest for now."
I left her room, and closed the door. Before I went back downstairs, I
warded the room so no one with magic could sense her aura.
Tomoyo
I made my way downstairs, thinking about my half-daughter
and how to make her feel wanted and needed. I sat in my favorite chair
and made myself comfortable, still thinking. Just as I was relaxing and
beginning to take a small nap myself, the doorbell rang again. I had a
feeling I knew who it was this time too. I sighed, then got up and opened
the door to reveal Tomoyo.
She looked really worried, like something terrible
had happened or will happen, but there was a glint of annoyance in her
eyes. She was definitely here about Sakura. I led her to my conservatory
and we both sat on the piano bench. I gently started playing her favorite
song – there was a routine to everything these days. "So, Daidouji-san,
what brings you here? It's been at least a week." There was no way I was
going to let her know that I already knew what happened today. That can
only lead to bad things.
She looked at me before answering; the glint of annoyance was now full force and it was echoed by anger. "She did it again! She just ran off during our picnic. She didn't tell us where she was going. She didn't thank us for the food. She didn't bother helping us carry the leftovers back to my house when it started to rain! We plan these picnics for her and she always finds a way to ruin them. She angered Mei Lin by trying to get her to talk about something private in front of Syaoran-kun. Really, sometimes I don't know why we try to keep her happy and sheltered. Her innocence is important, but really! Why can't she just have a little concern for her friends?"
She sighed and placed her hands on the keys. We began playing 'our duet;' the one we always play when her mind is at unrest. "I'm worried about her, Hiiragizawa-kun. She left the picnic over an hour ago and she hasn't been home yet. Have you seen her at all today? It was raining so hard earlier, she could be soaked and getting sick. Something bad could happen to her." Tomoyo sighed again, "Why does she do this? Where could she be?"
"I'm sure she's fine, Daidouji-san. She was here while it was raining. She had felt something and wanted to discuss it with me. The rain hadn't quite started when she arrived and it stopped before she left. She's probably on her way home now." I paused, hoping to whatever deity was listening that she – of all people – didn't catch me in this lie. Sakura was depending on me and I wouldn't let my half-daughter down. "I'm not sure which way she went though. She was exhausted after we figured things out, but she wouldn't let me walk her home." I must remember to call Fujitaka-san when Tomoyo leaves.
"If she felt something, why didn't Syaoran-kun notice anything? He always notices when there's something happening with the Clow Cards. Why didn't he feel anything earlier?" The angel asked me, probably thinking exactly what I was hoping she wouldn't.
I did some more quick thinking then smiled. "Ordinarily, he would have felt something, but this had nothing to do with the Cards. She's been experiencing fluctuations in her magic; we're trying to figure out what's happening. It could be that her magic is increasing. We need to keep it under control if it is. We don't need any problems with runaway magic."
She nodded. "That makes sense. Why didn't she tell us about this? We are her friends, after all."
"She didn't want to worry anyone." I almost sighed in relief as she made a motion that she accepted my answer, but I caught myself before I let it out. "Now, my dear Daidouji-san, can you tell me what you and Li-san were talking about? Or should that be kept from my ears too?"
She sighed and started to play a song by herself before speaking. "We were talking about Syaoran-kun. Mei Lin is really getting sick of his possessiveness. Well, not really possessiveness, it's more like he's obsessed with her or he needs her. He hardly ever lets her out of his sight. It's like he's worried that if she leaves, she'll never come back. Anyway, we were trying to think of a girl who would go out with him to get him off Mei Lin's back. She mentioned Sakura, but I think she's too sweet for Syaoran.Suddenly, she stopped playing and clamped her hands over her mouth, "I shouldn't have told you that."
I realized that that was what Sakura had overheard. No wonder they wouldn't tell her what they were talking about. "Not to worry Daidouji-san, I won't breathe a word of this to anyone. Now, perhaps you should be getting home. I wouldn't want your mother to worry about you." I offered her a hand up and guided her back to the door. Then, an idea hit me. "Would Sakura-chan and I be able to borrow your video camera for a few weeks? I think it might help a little."
Tomoyo smiled, "Of course you can." She dug in her bag for a minute before pulling out her prized possession. "Here," she said as she handed her treasured camera to me.
"Thank you, my dear. Now you go straight home and be careful on the way."
"Yes father," she responded jovially as she gracefully walked out the door.
I closed the door and leaned on it, sighing. Sometimes being near her for so long can be a little too much for me. Of course, I would never let anyone know that. After all, it's not like they would ever listen to me talk about myself anyway. Maybe Sakura; I have a feeling she would listen to me. Heck, she would listen to anyone; she so desperately wants someone to trust her enough to confide in her. Speaking of trust, I must uphold the 'family' duty. I called Sakura's father to tell him she'd be staying with me for dinner.
I made up my mind to talk to her during dinner. Perhaps
I would help her cook and discuss things then. Holding my angel's camera
close, I sat down for another attempt at a nap.
Syaoran
I must have been successful at falling asleep because just over an hour later I woke up to Sakura peering at me. I blinked a couple times to adjust my focus and found that she had stepped back and was grinning at me. I raised an eyebrow at her and questioned, "Just what are you grinning at daughter dear?"
Her grin grew even wider and I began to wonder if I wanted to know the answer. "I was just thinking how cute you looked all curled up clutching Tomoyo-chan's camera while you slept." She almost stopped there but thought better of it, "Why do you have the camera anyway?"
Oh, the trick girl! I couldn't yell at her or deny anything because she asked a question – manners dictate that I answer her. I scowled at her, letting her know I was displeased. "We are going to be doing projects in school and I thought we could use the camera to record life around us. Sort of to show what you can learn if you really pay attention. It's like Daidouji-san knows so much about what's going on. She spends all her time filming everything so she catches things the rest of us don't."
Her grin turned evil, "You were drooling, you know."
I narrowed my eyes to a glare for a few seconds then decided to change the subject. "We should start making dinner soon or we'll never get to eat."
I led my half daughter to the kitchen where she promptly started raiding cupboards and the refrigerator. After pulling out noodles, tons of vegetables and a variety of spices, she put me to work peeling and washing while she prepared the noodles and chopped like a master chef. We avoided speaking for several minutes, both silently doing our jobs. It was a comfortable silence, but I was still glad when Sakura broke it. "So Eriol, is there anything you would like to talk about? I'm happy to listen. Besides, food preparation is considerably more fun when you have conversation."
I shook my head and chuckled. "You know, sometimes I think you spend a little too much time with me. You occasionally say things that make me think I'm talking to myself." She raised an eyebrow at me, causing me to curse under my breath. She knew I was avoiding the topic. I sighed. "Yes, I–" Well here goes nothing. "I want to talk about Tomoyo-chan." This earned me another raised eyebrow.
"Since when do you call her Tomoyo-chan? I thought she was forever Daidouji-san to you"
"Never to her face; never out loud." I could swear I was almost blushing, but I never blush. "Please don't tell anyone about this. If word got out…I'm sure…"
"Don't worry father dearest, your secret's safe with me." I knew it was anyway. Sakura was actually great at keeping secrets.
I was about to unload everything on her when the doorbell rang again. I put down the carrot I was peeling and excused myself. She smiled and told me to go ahead because she could do it faster herself anyway. "I'll be in the library if you need me, Sakura-chan." I left her in the kitchen as I thought about how popular I was today.
My third trip to the door had me guessing exactly who was on the other side. I quickly hid Sakura's aura, hoping my cute little descendant hadn't noticed she was here. I opened the door and greeted him in the usual manner, "Hello, my cute little descendant. What a pleasant surprise."
He gave me his 'don't call me that' look as he entered. I must have glanced nervously at the kitchen – even though I was never nervous: almost never nervous. He switched to his usual smirk and 'reassured' me, "Don't worry, old man, I'm not really here looking for her. I won't even tell the girls that she was here. Then again, I might not even tell them that I was here."
"Eriol, who is it? Do they want to stay for dinner?" Sakura's voice rang through the halls. Syaoran must be hiding his aura or else she would have kept quiet: she never notices it when it's partially hidden or if she's upset. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her who it was; she'd run away at top speed and we'd never get to eat.
"Just an acquaintance that's here for some business." I turned to look back at my Chinese 'relative' and continued, "He may join us if dinner is ready before he leaves."
I watched as the smug look on his face – I'm sure he was thinking 'Eriol? She just called him Eriol,' – was replaced with a scowl. "You want me to eat with you and her? She hates me! She still calls me 'Li-kun' and she calls everyone by his or her first name. Even you, and everyone else calls you Hiiragizawa."
I turned around and headed towards my library with my cute little descendant following me. This too, was ritual. We talked in the library with magic books to distract us. It seemed more like idle chitchat then and less like baring your soul. "She doesn't hate you, Syaoran. She's scared of you and she believes that you hate her, but she doesn't hate you." I gritted my teeth and steeled myself before continuing. I was about to do something I had vowed never to do: tell somebody about someone else's problems. "And she's mad at you."
"Why? I haven't done anything to her, unless it's about the math homework, but she usually shrugs those comments off." He really believed she had no reason to be mad at him. "Besides, we should be mad at her: she's the one who keeps leaving."
"And comes here to cry." Syaoran looked at me, shocked, and then closed the book he had been leafing through. This was too serious for idle chitchat. "She wants friends, Syaoran, not people who will try to shelter her from life itself. She's mad at you for not letting her think for herself when capturing the Cards, for protecting her and not letting her get hurt. She's mad at all of you for taking her life away. When it gets to be too much for her, she comes to me and gets it out of her system." I grinned, "Then she makes me dinner and tries to make me talk."
My descendant's face had softened while I spoke. "She hides it so well. She's always smiling and happy whenever she's around people. I never would have guessed she's upset with all of us. How often?" He looked at me as he asked; I could almost see sorrow in his eyes.
"This is the fourth time this week. I never used to be so frequent until a month ago when Mei Lin called her selfish and told her they couldn't be friends anymore. If I remember correctly, Sakura begged for Mei Lin to forgive her and gave up some things she loved so she could be at Mei Lin and Tomoyo's disposal. Now, enough about sweet Sakura-chan, what brings you here?"
"Mei Lin sent me out to search for Sakura. I'm sure it was just to get me out of the apartment so she could go on a date." He picked up his book again and started flipping through the pages. "She's going to leave me, too. My own fiancée is going to leave me just like the rest of my family." Syaoran has desertion problems. His father died when he was very young, then his family sent him to Japan with a mission. When he failed to get the cards from Sakura – Mei Lin took a liking to her and wouldn't let him hurt her friend – his family disowned them both. "Anyway, I figured it was futile to look for her when I know Tomoyo already tried, so I came here."
"I see. You won't be all alone. You'll still have friends, even if she does break the engagement. Why don't you join us for dinner and we'll prove it to you?"
"What? And give the Sunshine of the Universe a reason to feel uncomfortable in her safe place? I don't think that's a good idea." He looked almost disappointed as he finished speaking, then he seemed to change his mind. "Then again, how can I find out that she won't leave if I don't stay?"
"You've got a point, cute descendant." I glowed inside as he glared at me – my day truly was complete. "Now about this 'Sunshine of the Universe,' do you mean it?" He looked at me, confused, opening his mouth to answer a few times but closing it again immediately after.
Finally, he answered me, "In a way, I suppose. It always seems that when she smiles, the world appears brighter. It's like her happiness makes the sun shine brighter. The girls noticed it too; it's why they try to protect her so much, to keep her happy. But lately, it's just been cloudy. Sakura appears to be her same cheerful self, but the sun doesn't respond."
I nodded to his observation, showing I agreed. "I noticed that too. Today, I mentioned it to her. When she cries it rains. That horrible downpour we had today mirrored her tears. She glossed over it mostly, but I have a feeling she'll think about it. We should keep an eye on her; we don't want this to get out of control. Anyway, you will –"
I was interrupted from confirming Syaoran's presence at dinner by a knock on the library door. I opened the door to reveal Sakura, waiting to tell me dinner was ready. I let her in as she spoke, "Eriol, din –." Her eyes fell on Syaoran and she froze. Both of us could see the fear that crept into her face. Outside, thunder rumbled, causing her to jump and adding more for her to be afraid of.
My cute little descendant moved first. He walked up to her and put a hand on one of her arms. "Sakura, there's nothing to be afraid of. I only came to talk to Hiiragizawa, not to drag you home. Or worse: to Tomoyo and Mei Lin. I never wanted to scare you or hurt you and I'm sorry if I did. Really, you don't have to be so tense."
"But the thunder. I hate thunder."
He smiled at her. I did a double take; my cute descendant smiled at a girl! "I'm sure if you ignore it, it will go away. Why don't you try it while we all go eat dinner." With that, he slid his arm through hers and led her to the kitchen where she had set the table for four people. "Four?"
Sakura nodded to him. "One for Eriol, one for his guest – you –, one for me and the fourth one…" she turned her head and a sad smile crossed her lips, "I always set a place for my mother, even if she can't eat with me." She sighed.
Syaoran nodded in response. "My sisters and I used to set a spot for my father before I came to Japan. My mother would reprimand us occasionally, but I think she liked it too. I would still do it, but Mei Lin thinks it's foolish."
"Really? I don't think it's foolish at all. Neither does Eriol, he always lets me set a place for my mother." As she spoke, she bustled around my kitchen finding everything she needed for a fifth place setting. When she found everything, she handed it to Syaoran with a bow. "There Li-kun, now you can set a place for your father," she said as she motioned him towards the table.
He grimaced as she said his name, but she didn't notice. As he set the table, he spoke to her. "You know Sakura, you shouldn't call me that. All our friends call me by my given name, I don't see why you don't." He turned to look at her as he placed the cup on the table.
"You never allowed me to." Her voice was soft, carrying a slight hint of pain that made Syaoran regret all those years of being less than civil to her. I could feel it from where I was standing.
"You're so friendly and informal with everyone, I didn't think you'd need permission," he turned his head away as he spoke. I couldn't figure out why until he added one last word, "please?" It was something I rarely heard coming from his lips, the closest thing he had to pleading. And here he was using it on a girl who thought he hated her; a girl whom he thought hated him no more than an hour ago.
Sakura knew he rarely used that word, she had commented on it once. She stared at him, shocked at his request. When he finally looked back to her for an answer, she spoke. "You mean you don't hate me?"
My cute little descendant shook his head. "I might have been angry with you at first for being chosen the Card Captor, but you handled yourself so well, I realized that you deserved to be." He looked at his feet and continued talking. Usually, I would be the only one besides Mei Lin to see him even slightly unconfident. "I hated you for a couple days after my family disowned me; I blamed you. Then I blamed Mei Lin for befriending you: if she hadn't, I might have done my job. Eventually, I realized it was my own fault and I stopped hating you and Mei Lin, I hated myself."
While they had been talking, I served dinner for the three of us and poured tea into the five cups. It struck me that the two seemed to understand each other better than anyone else did. Maybe Tomoyo had been wrong; they might be good for each other. I decided to hold off comment for a little while longer and let them talk.
"You shouldn't hate yourself Syaoran, it's not right." His head snapped up when Sakura spoke, she had used his given name. "Now, we should probably sit down and eat before dinner gets cold." She forced him into a seat and sat beside him while I sat at the head of the table.
Syaoran looked at Sakura with hope in his eyes. "Does this mean that we're friends?"
"On one condition," she smiled as he looked at her questioningly. I laughed, knowing full well what she really wanted. "Talk to me, trust me, tell me stuff."
"That sounds more like three conditions."
"No, it's all part of the same one. I want to be treated like a friend, not be protected and sheltered like I have been. I can't grow up if I'm constantly treated like a child."
"Okay, if you call me Syaoran and stop running away every time I join you girls for a picnic, I'll call it a deal."
Sakura held out her pinky finger, "Promise?"
Syaoran laughed as he hooked her finger with his. "I thought Tomoyo said the 'pinky promise' was babyish and didn't mean anything." The laughter switched to seriousness as he continued, "But I do promise."
"Good, because I still believe in it. Now let's eat! I haven't eaten since breakfast."
"This is more like it. Sakura usually cooks enough to feed an army. When it's just the two of us, I have leftovers for a week. Now, I hope it'll all be gone in a couple days." I hoped her good mood wouldn't shift on me; it was nice to see a genuine smile on her face again.
She mock glared at me before retorting, "I'm used to cooking for Kero too. He eats enough for two armies." She took a few bites before turning back to me. "So Eriol, aside form my cooking abilities, is there anything you would like to comment on?" She slipped easily back into the routine even with Syaoran sitting there beside her.
It was my turn to talk, but I didn't really feel like revealing what was on my mind at the time. I did the next best thing: I lied. "I was just thinking. If you two start confiding in each other, I'm going to lose half of my visitors. Really, I take you in, I listen to your problems and in return you go and run off with the first person you meet here. What am I going to do? If this keeps up, I'll lose all my friends." I didn't mean it and they could tell.
Sakura was trying hard to stifle her giggles as she answered. "We won't leave you without any friends; unless, of course, you don't want to play basketball with me tomorrow? I'm sure I can find new friends to play with. But then, I'll have to make you talk about Tomoyo-chan tonight."
I hadn't quite realized how evil my sweet half-daughter could be. I immediately acquiesced, "I'll play tomorrow, don't worry. Yamazaki is in too. Syaoran?" I looked to my descendant and he agreed with a small nod. "Good, it's a plan, we'll play during lunch." The three of us continued to chat as we ate, all thinking that things were looking up. At one point I glanced at the empty seats and caught a glimpse of two figures smiling at their children. I could tell they were proud of them.
Sakura cleaned up after dinner. I would have helped like I normally do, but she sent me off to talk to Syaoran. "It is inappropriate to leave guests to entertain themselves." Of course, when I asked why I could leave her to do the work, she merely stated, "I'm not a guest. I have my own room." Then she unceremoniously kicked us out of the kitchen.
Seeing that we lost, we retreated to the library where
I started looking for new things to teach my other half's daughter. I was
flipping through a book of spells when my cute descendant's voice interrupted
me. "Don't teach her something new; teach her control. We don't need huge,
destructive thunderstorms when she's scared and angry." Smart kid, must
come from my side of the family. After that, we spent our time thinking
of ways to teach her control without her thinking we believe she has none.
Mei Lin
Just shy of and hour after she kicked us out, she came looking for us. "Kitchen's clean. I'm on my way home now. See you guys tomorrow and don't forget the game at lunch." She turned to leave and made it just past the library door before we stopped her.
"Oh no you don't!" I called as Syaoran grabbed her arm. "You're not walking home by yourself in the dark. And don't think even for one second that we would let you, missy. Syaoran will walk you home – all the way to the other side of your door." They both started to protest. Sakura that she could too walk by herself and Syaoran that she wouldn't want his company. I looked at them like I meant it, "No arguing and I'm calling Touya so he'll be expecting you. I'd go myself, but I'm expecting a call." I pushed them out the door then called Touya and sat down to wait to hear from Mei Lin.
Two minutes later, the phone rang. It had to be Mei Lin; it was her turn and she rarely ever visits to discuss things. I answered the phone and found my prediction proven correct once again. We started our conversation as we usually do – with small talk, lots of small talk. First we talk about homework and school, then about what's new around town. Occasionally we discuss current fashion trends too, anything to avoid the true topic for a little longer. We eventually end up with the weather. It's our signal to begin the serious conversation. Mei Lin started with it this time.
"So Hiiragizawa, what did you think of all the rain we got earlier today?"
"A little wet, but at least I wasn't caught outside in it. I hope you didn't go on that picnic this afternoon – you would have gotten soaked."
"Oh, I went all right." I could hear the disdain dripping from her voice. "We all went, but Sakura ran off before it started. It's like she can sense those storms – she always runs off before they start and never warns us about them. She's so selfish, she doesn't even help the rest of us get the food out of the rain."
"So she just gets up and runs away before the rain starts? Could there be another reason she runs, Mei Lin?"
She paused a moment before answering. "Well, this time, she might have run because Tomoyo told her that she shouldn't concern herself with our personal lives. Sakura was prying in to a private conversation we were having before she showed up." I raised an eyebrow at the telephone, knowing full well that she couldn't see me. "We were sorting through one of my problems when she showed up. She may have overheard something, but we couldn't have told her what we were talking about. Really though, we couldn't there was no way we could tell the 'epitome of innocence' what we were talking about."
"Would you be able to tell me what you were talking about?" I asked even though I already knew what the answer would be. It's always the same, you'd think she was obsessed, but that's not it.
"Xiao Lang. Isn't he my only problem?" I almost laughed; she's been calling Sakura a problem for ages now. "I know he feels that I'm all he's got left so he's worried about losing me, but sometimes it feels like he's suffocating me. I thought that if we found him another girl, he might leave me alone and I could have a chance at being happy." I made a little noise to let her know I was still listening. "I still think getting him a girlfriend would be the solution. That 's what we were discussing. We went through a list of girls we knew before I suggested Sakura. I'm sure she didn't hear that, but she could have heard what Tomoyo said after." She paused and I interjected.
"And what would it be that Daidouji-san said to your suggestion?"
"She said it would never work. Sakura is too sweet and innocent or naïve. She thought they'd be all wrong for each other. She's probably right; Xiao Lang's too rough. He'd probably do something that would hurt her or completely change her outlook. She's got too much power. I don't know what would happen if she stopped being innocent."
"I wouldn't worry about that Mei Lin, she's tougher than you think. She's just a little sensitive at times. That doesn't mean I'm saying you should try to set them up.If they manage to find their way to each other and if something happens, it may not be a bad thing, that's all."
"Maybe. Anyway, Sakura asked what we were talking about and Tomoyo told her we were discussing math homework. I thought she bought it, but after Xiao Lang came, she asked again. Of course, Xiao Lang ruined our cover by telling her there wasn't any math homework. Then she had to pry. We couldn't tell her in front of Xiao Lang and I couldn't come up with anything else, so I snapped. Tomoyo backed me up, then Sakura left."
"Not to sound stupid or anything, but why couldn't you just tell her in the first place?"
"She's too innocent. She wouldn't understand. I can just hear her saying, 'But Mei Lin, you should just be thankful you have someone who cares about you. You could be all alone. If he leaves you, you might be. I'm sure that's not what you want.'" She even mimicked Sakura's voice. "I don't need her to tell me that. She just doesn't know what it's like. She never could."
"Have you ever thought about trying to tell her? She might understand more than you'd expect. You'll never know until you try." I had to stop myself there; any more and I'd be telling Mei Lin all of Sakura's problems. I couldn't so that, not twice in one day.
"No, but I will. Maybe if she knows what we're going through, she wouldn't be so selfish all the time." She continued to tell me all about how 'Xiao Lang' wouldn't leave her alone for another hour, then left me to my peace. I hung up thinking that I need a change. Routine was great – you knew what to do – but this was too much. I wouldn't last much longer.