Mirror
by Keruseyu
Chapter 6
===
Dedication: This chapter goes to a very supporting reviwer of mine, and a new friend on Deviantart! Congrats to Cymarel, thanks so much! Now I actually have comments on my pictures! YAY!!! Thankyouthankyou- mmf!
Meg-chan: *places hand over mouth* Okay, I'm never giving you candy EVER AGAIN!!! Waaaayyy too hyper!
Keru: Um, Meg? You've been my best friend for 7 FREAKIN' YEARS AND YOU _JUST_ FIGURED THAT OUT???!!!!
Meg-chan: *Gazes off into the distance* Have I really known you for that long?
Keru: *sighs* Meg, you are like soooooo screwed!
Meg-chan: I'm not screwed, I'm nailed!!! :P Stupid fool!
Keru: Okay, time to go... *Shoves Meg into a dark pit of doom* There! Depressed, depressed... That really helps! The award of commenting on my art goes to.... Cymarel! Yes, Cymarel has won her own personal story from me, dedication belonging to her, with her plot, anything she wants. And as a bonus, this chappie is dedicated to, you guessed it, Cymarel! Don't complain. I said to go to deviantart.com to comment, folks. I'll give special mentions to those who commented in reviews. Such as Celestial Secrets and AJ 4EVA! Thank you!
As for Feathers of snow (Honeypot, I'm grateful you tried. :)
On to the story!!!!!
Meg-chan: *Crawling out of pit of doom* Um, Keltz?
Keru: *eyes widen* D-did you just call me 'Keltz?'
Meg-chan: Yeeeesss..... *Scowls in a amazingly scary manner*
Keru: I'LL DO ANYTHING!!! NOOOO!!! DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Meg-chan: Anything?
Keru: Ooooooh shit...
Meg-chan: You know what I'm talking about. Now do it!
Keru: Can it wait until the end of the chapter?
Meg-chan: *Eyes go red and pupils start turning aqua*
Keru: Okay, okay! I'll do it!
Meg-chan: *Snickers* Go on...
Keru: IDON'TOWNANYTAMORAPIERCEBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs*
Meg-chan: Muwahahaha!!!! I FINALLY got you to admit it!!!
===
Kel stumbled up her driveway, keeping a straight face though she was in pure agony.
'Why are you going back to this?' Her conscience screamed madly.
'WHY are you going back to the pain?!'
She didn't answer. She couldn't. Even she didn't know what she was doing.
She had run away from friends. Allies, people who wouldn't hurt her. How could she?
Was she really that much of a masochist?
This was screamed out from the back of her mind as she slowly blocked the voice.
It was right.
She knew it.
And she kept going back, trying to convert to what she had before.
The voice raised higher, its last few words ingraved into her mind.
"You CAN'T GO BACK"
'I know that.' She thought calmly.
In an ethereal exsistance, she pulled her housekey out of her pocket and slowly slid it into the lock, turning it with a brisk flick of her wrist. The door didn't make a sound as she swung it back along its hinges.
Stepping silently and swiftly, she made her way to the living room.
Her walking became more relaxed as she strode through room after room, finding each empty. He had placed the stairs towards the back of the house for one reason.
More chances of catching her.
She was almost to the stairs. One more room, just one more...
Praying desperately, she cracked the door open. No sign of him so far...
She stepped into rthe room fully, relieved that it was empty.
Or so she thought.
A thick fist slammed into her shoulder, sending her sprawling onto the carpeted floor, adding one more bruise and carpet burn to her list of plights.
She struggled silently to get up; her already exhausted body followed her orders, but agonizingly slowly.
Suddenly it hit her.
It was pointless.
He would always be this way.
He couldn't revert to the loving being who had spoiled her so long ago.
'I've been living more lies than I thought I was.'
Her mother wouldn't come back. She was a bitch and a coward, and had hated her ever since she had her new baby.
Her sister... She didn't even want to think of her. Brattiest thing alive, with a mean streak. She had been stronger, crueler. She was the worst, a bully with bad grades and going down the wrong path. She had hated her, gotten her into trouble more times than she could count.
He had used to love her. In family spats, he always sided with her. Always.
And now, who sided with her?
No one.
No one on earth.
===
Kel flopped tiredly onto her bed. In the past three months, she had changed. She no longer cared.
She had found the truth.
Reality had hit her, and reality wasn't a nice place to live.
Nowadays, the beatings came hard, fast, and brutal. She was so achy that she could barely move enough to get around at school. She skipped P.E. Who cared?
More and more often she was late to school from being knocked around all night.
The door downstairs clicked open.
Damn. He was home early.
She didn't move. Her covers were bloodstained.
Frankly, she didn't care. Used to be she'd keep her room neat and only get beaten up downstairs.
Now she would just lie on her bed and await her painful thrashing that she would endure when he came up.
It angered him to have to climb stairs to get at her.
She didn't give a shit. She felt his hand in her hair, pulling her up, throwing her ascross the room, and founnd that in this place of pain and hate, it didn't matter. She faded into the depths of her mind, ovblivious to everything.
And her mind...
Was bliss.
===
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters
Calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Don't say i'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare...
I built my own world to escape
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me.
===
Ooo! Dark! GO EVANESCENCE!!!! There songs fit this story perfectly. This is a multi-song chappie, so expect more of Evanescence. I don't listen to them- my sis would kill me- but I have heard this song. I really like the lyrics. They fit!
Back to the story!
===
Kel sighed as Neal approached her in the hall. His friends were with him.
She rolled her eyes. Life was so pointless these days.
She halfheartedly strolled down the hall. She was currently skipping P.E. They must think it was of some importance that they talk to her. She'd been ignoring them for a long time.
Deciding to humor them, she found an empty courtyard. Stepping into it, she made her way over to a tree. They were already in the doorway. No way out now.
Slinging her bag onto the grassy ground, she swung herself into the tree, which was a dead apple. Being winter, its leaves were scattered about the otherwise bare courtyard.
Sure it hurt to move like this...
But, after all, she didn't care.
===
Neal's POV
===
Why is she ignoring us?
Doesn't she want help?
She smirks that smirk of hers- full of subdued pain and sorrow, of tears and acceptance that her life is hell and she can't change it.
"Kel-" I say, unsure.
She cuts me off. "Mindelan to you."
Anger is building inside me, but I humor her for her own sake.
"Mindelan, then. Why..."
She glares sharply. "Why what?"
"Why do you let him hurt you?" There, I said it. I anxiously await her reaction.
I was expecting drama. Wrong.
"What pain? I fell down."
Great, my friends have deserted me.
"I want to help you! We both know-"
"You don't know SHIT about my life, Neal!" She yells. "It's my business- MY PAIN! And I don't need you're fucking help to bear it."
===
I've been watching you from a distance
But distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure you suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
Why should I care if they, hurt you
Some how it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you
I'll save you
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
===
Okay, almost done! One more song! Warning: This fic is almost ended. I predict aroung 4 more chappies, and then it'll be done!
===
Kel's POV
===
What to do?
There goes any chance of survival.
He'll kill her eventually.
Soon.
I don't show it.
But it really hurts.
Really.
I want to die.
The thought is quick and fleeting, but repeats over and over in my mind.
That's an idea. I also don't want to die by him.
Might as well.
I have nothing else to do...
I walk home. It's still classtime. Oh well. I can skip the whole day.
It won't matter.
Nothing matters anymore.
My housekey stays inside the lock once I open the door. I slam it shut, striding through the house.
The kitchen is my first stop.
I walk quietly into my room, laying the items I was carrying on the bed. I keep hold of one, taking it into the bathroom with me. I examine my bath bubbles in a painstaking manner. I choose cherry, my favorite because it hides blood with its bright crimson hue. So I can pretend I'm all better when taking baths.
I pour the whole bottle in, the red substance almost coating the floor of my giant hot tub. I run the water, warm, almost hot- just the way I like it. I go back into my room and lock the door.
The bathroom door is also locked once I am within.
I step into the fluffy bubbles hovering on the surface of my full bathtub. I step into the water, grabbing the object from the counter. Smiling grimly, I run the knife along my wrists, gently carving letters into ny arms. I manage to write the whole suicide note in my flesh.
Go me!
Now I move to the major veins on my wrists. I slash deeply into each, watching as blood pours into the water. The bubbles hide it completely. I lay my head back and close my eyes as if I'm asleep.
It feels good.
Why didn't I do this a long time ago?
I wonder if I'll go to hell. I guess I could take that. I mean, wouldn't be too different.
I fall into a wave of ecstasy from mind-numbing pain.
I don't want this.
I know that I could turn it around.
But I'm too tired.
Too worn.
Too dead.
Release seems perfect.
The easy way out.
And anything easy in a life like mine is bliss.
===
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will i be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide
by Keruseyu
Chapter 6
===
Dedication: This chapter goes to a very supporting reviwer of mine, and a new friend on Deviantart! Congrats to Cymarel, thanks so much! Now I actually have comments on my pictures! YAY!!! Thankyouthankyou- mmf!
Meg-chan: *places hand over mouth* Okay, I'm never giving you candy EVER AGAIN!!! Waaaayyy too hyper!
Keru: Um, Meg? You've been my best friend for 7 FREAKIN' YEARS AND YOU _JUST_ FIGURED THAT OUT???!!!!
Meg-chan: *Gazes off into the distance* Have I really known you for that long?
Keru: *sighs* Meg, you are like soooooo screwed!
Meg-chan: I'm not screwed, I'm nailed!!! :P Stupid fool!
Keru: Okay, time to go... *Shoves Meg into a dark pit of doom* There! Depressed, depressed... That really helps! The award of commenting on my art goes to.... Cymarel! Yes, Cymarel has won her own personal story from me, dedication belonging to her, with her plot, anything she wants. And as a bonus, this chappie is dedicated to, you guessed it, Cymarel! Don't complain. I said to go to deviantart.com to comment, folks. I'll give special mentions to those who commented in reviews. Such as Celestial Secrets and AJ 4EVA! Thank you!
As for Feathers of snow (Honeypot, I'm grateful you tried. :)
On to the story!!!!!
Meg-chan: *Crawling out of pit of doom* Um, Keltz?
Keru: *eyes widen* D-did you just call me 'Keltz?'
Meg-chan: Yeeeesss..... *Scowls in a amazingly scary manner*
Keru: I'LL DO ANYTHING!!! NOOOO!!! DON'T HURT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Meg-chan: Anything?
Keru: Ooooooh shit...
Meg-chan: You know what I'm talking about. Now do it!
Keru: Can it wait until the end of the chapter?
Meg-chan: *Eyes go red and pupils start turning aqua*
Keru: Okay, okay! I'll do it!
Meg-chan: *Snickers* Go on...
Keru: IDON'TOWNANYTAMORAPIERCEBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs*
Meg-chan: Muwahahaha!!!! I FINALLY got you to admit it!!!
===
Kel stumbled up her driveway, keeping a straight face though she was in pure agony.
'Why are you going back to this?' Her conscience screamed madly.
'WHY are you going back to the pain?!'
She didn't answer. She couldn't. Even she didn't know what she was doing.
She had run away from friends. Allies, people who wouldn't hurt her. How could she?
Was she really that much of a masochist?
This was screamed out from the back of her mind as she slowly blocked the voice.
It was right.
She knew it.
And she kept going back, trying to convert to what she had before.
The voice raised higher, its last few words ingraved into her mind.
"You CAN'T GO BACK"
'I know that.' She thought calmly.
In an ethereal exsistance, she pulled her housekey out of her pocket and slowly slid it into the lock, turning it with a brisk flick of her wrist. The door didn't make a sound as she swung it back along its hinges.
Stepping silently and swiftly, she made her way to the living room.
Her walking became more relaxed as she strode through room after room, finding each empty. He had placed the stairs towards the back of the house for one reason.
More chances of catching her.
She was almost to the stairs. One more room, just one more...
Praying desperately, she cracked the door open. No sign of him so far...
She stepped into rthe room fully, relieved that it was empty.
Or so she thought.
A thick fist slammed into her shoulder, sending her sprawling onto the carpeted floor, adding one more bruise and carpet burn to her list of plights.
She struggled silently to get up; her already exhausted body followed her orders, but agonizingly slowly.
Suddenly it hit her.
It was pointless.
He would always be this way.
He couldn't revert to the loving being who had spoiled her so long ago.
'I've been living more lies than I thought I was.'
Her mother wouldn't come back. She was a bitch and a coward, and had hated her ever since she had her new baby.
Her sister... She didn't even want to think of her. Brattiest thing alive, with a mean streak. She had been stronger, crueler. She was the worst, a bully with bad grades and going down the wrong path. She had hated her, gotten her into trouble more times than she could count.
He had used to love her. In family spats, he always sided with her. Always.
And now, who sided with her?
No one.
No one on earth.
===
Kel flopped tiredly onto her bed. In the past three months, she had changed. She no longer cared.
She had found the truth.
Reality had hit her, and reality wasn't a nice place to live.
Nowadays, the beatings came hard, fast, and brutal. She was so achy that she could barely move enough to get around at school. She skipped P.E. Who cared?
More and more often she was late to school from being knocked around all night.
The door downstairs clicked open.
Damn. He was home early.
She didn't move. Her covers were bloodstained.
Frankly, she didn't care. Used to be she'd keep her room neat and only get beaten up downstairs.
Now she would just lie on her bed and await her painful thrashing that she would endure when he came up.
It angered him to have to climb stairs to get at her.
She didn't give a shit. She felt his hand in her hair, pulling her up, throwing her ascross the room, and founnd that in this place of pain and hate, it didn't matter. She faded into the depths of her mind, ovblivious to everything.
And her mind...
Was bliss.
===
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters
Calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Don't say i'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare...
I built my own world to escape
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me.
===
Ooo! Dark! GO EVANESCENCE!!!! There songs fit this story perfectly. This is a multi-song chappie, so expect more of Evanescence. I don't listen to them- my sis would kill me- but I have heard this song. I really like the lyrics. They fit!
Back to the story!
===
Kel sighed as Neal approached her in the hall. His friends were with him.
She rolled her eyes. Life was so pointless these days.
She halfheartedly strolled down the hall. She was currently skipping P.E. They must think it was of some importance that they talk to her. She'd been ignoring them for a long time.
Deciding to humor them, she found an empty courtyard. Stepping into it, she made her way over to a tree. They were already in the doorway. No way out now.
Slinging her bag onto the grassy ground, she swung herself into the tree, which was a dead apple. Being winter, its leaves were scattered about the otherwise bare courtyard.
Sure it hurt to move like this...
But, after all, she didn't care.
===
Neal's POV
===
Why is she ignoring us?
Doesn't she want help?
She smirks that smirk of hers- full of subdued pain and sorrow, of tears and acceptance that her life is hell and she can't change it.
"Kel-" I say, unsure.
She cuts me off. "Mindelan to you."
Anger is building inside me, but I humor her for her own sake.
"Mindelan, then. Why..."
She glares sharply. "Why what?"
"Why do you let him hurt you?" There, I said it. I anxiously await her reaction.
I was expecting drama. Wrong.
"What pain? I fell down."
Great, my friends have deserted me.
"I want to help you! We both know-"
"You don't know SHIT about my life, Neal!" She yells. "It's my business- MY PAIN! And I don't need you're fucking help to bear it."
===
I've been watching you from a distance
But distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure you suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
Why should I care if they, hurt you
Some how it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you
I'll save you
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
Give unto me your trouble
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your hurting
I'll drink your deadly poison
===
Okay, almost done! One more song! Warning: This fic is almost ended. I predict aroung 4 more chappies, and then it'll be done!
===
Kel's POV
===
What to do?
There goes any chance of survival.
He'll kill her eventually.
Soon.
I don't show it.
But it really hurts.
Really.
I want to die.
The thought is quick and fleeting, but repeats over and over in my mind.
That's an idea. I also don't want to die by him.
Might as well.
I have nothing else to do...
I walk home. It's still classtime. Oh well. I can skip the whole day.
It won't matter.
Nothing matters anymore.
My housekey stays inside the lock once I open the door. I slam it shut, striding through the house.
The kitchen is my first stop.
I walk quietly into my room, laying the items I was carrying on the bed. I keep hold of one, taking it into the bathroom with me. I examine my bath bubbles in a painstaking manner. I choose cherry, my favorite because it hides blood with its bright crimson hue. So I can pretend I'm all better when taking baths.
I pour the whole bottle in, the red substance almost coating the floor of my giant hot tub. I run the water, warm, almost hot- just the way I like it. I go back into my room and lock the door.
The bathroom door is also locked once I am within.
I step into the fluffy bubbles hovering on the surface of my full bathtub. I step into the water, grabbing the object from the counter. Smiling grimly, I run the knife along my wrists, gently carving letters into ny arms. I manage to write the whole suicide note in my flesh.
Go me!
Now I move to the major veins on my wrists. I slash deeply into each, watching as blood pours into the water. The bubbles hide it completely. I lay my head back and close my eyes as if I'm asleep.
It feels good.
Why didn't I do this a long time ago?
I wonder if I'll go to hell. I guess I could take that. I mean, wouldn't be too different.
I fall into a wave of ecstasy from mind-numbing pain.
I don't want this.
I know that I could turn it around.
But I'm too tired.
Too worn.
Too dead.
Release seems perfect.
The easy way out.
And anything easy in a life like mine is bliss.
===
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will i be denied Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide