a/n- a word of warning: While this is indeed something of a romance, it isn't going to be one of those cutesy Raven-admits-her-love-for-beast-boy-and-they-make-out-while-everything-around-them-blows-up sorta deals. The plot is actually quite dark but i assure you there is a happy ending (and substantial attempts at humor in between)
my Raven is also different from the Ravens i've seen in most of these stories. My Raven is not a goth. She is a tortured soul who has not chosen to be the way she is, not a depressed teenager out to make a statement (i mean no offense to goth readers and i don't claim to know what a goth even is). My Raven is fully consistent with the animated Raven but i have added elements from the comic version. The biggest addition is that Raven actually has a soul which is evil, and she can't afford to feel emotions because she needs to keep that part of her dormant so Trigon can't incarnate into this dimension (The TV show alludes to this in Nevermore but it is never explicit). Nevertheless, those who have only seen the TV show will find that the Raven they know and love is fully present in this fic. I have taken no liberties with anyone's personality and character. (yell at me if someone acts out of character and i will do my best to correct it)
Also, while on the surface this is a romance, it was actually meant to be an exploration of spiritual growth using the concepts of death, rebirth and peak experiences. Those familiar with Zen Buddhism may catch a few things that others will miss. By the way, despite how smart this mission statement makes the author sound, this is my first fiction that i've ever written and i don't really expect to make any sort of masterpiece here. Still i would appreciate criticism from veteran authors.
be warned also that this story has a couple new non-teen-titans characters that i made up. I generally hate it when other authors do this but that's usually because the new characters end up being perfect and very uninteresting and then proceed to take over the whole story. My first new character is named Patch. He appears to be two-dimensional at first but i assure you his flaws will be revealed as the story continues.
Also, veganism is a central theme to this story but im not trying to make a case against animal products. If visions of animal cruelty and explanations of why meat is unhealthy offends anyone, then wait until you finish reading the story to flame me for it. You will see that every reference to such things has a purpose to the plot (i actually went through great pains to avoid that stuff whenever possible).
and without further adieu, the story...
further adieu: i don't own any of this stuff. i even stole the name patch from a chrono cross fic.
Chapter 1: Patch
The empty console room went dark as the sun set on another late autumn day at Titan Tower. The main door zipped open to reveal the dark outline of Robin. He flipped on the lights and entered the room. His utility belt had been unbuckled to make room for a final leg of lamb and was draped over his shoulder. He apparently had a little trouble walking but he looked content. Starfire walked in after him. She was a nursing a noticeable bulge in her tummy but other than that she was as perky as ever. Cyborg stomped in victoriously behind her carrying a suitcase sized doggy bag dripping with grease. He belched loudly.
"Did I tell y'all or what? Best damn chops this side of Jump City!"
He had been lobbying for weeks to convince his friends to eat at Mad Cow's House of Chops, but Beast Boy had stubbornly foiled his efforts every time. Such victories were rare so he couldn't help but take home a little extra for later.
"Indeed," concurred Starfire. "I have not seen such a feast since a Gordanian flortbomb set fire to a Tamaranian petting zoo."
Robin wretched at the thought. Cyborg was prouder than ever.
"But I bet the Gordanians can't blacken a sheep the way Mad Cow's can," he boasted carrying his kill to the fridge. "Where's BB, I owe him some gloating."
It was at this point that Raven made it to the door. She was fully wrapped in her cloak and was slouching, her eyes bloodshot and tired. Her voice was exhausted as she spoke.
"Apparently he still hasn't recovered from your Bambi eulogy."
***Flashback***
The team is sitting around a heavy wooden restaurant table in a dimly lit dining area when the waiter comes out in a bloodstained smock carrying a charred fawn over his shoulder. He unceremoniously lowered his head and let the monstrosity land with a silverware rattling thud on a platter in the center of the table.
"Who ordered the fawn fricassee?" He said apathetically with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
Beast Boy was horrified and looked a few shades greener than usual.
"That would be me!" Announced a beaming Cyborg, pulling the platter closer to him.
He rubbed his hands together eagerly and picked up his silverware.
"And remember kids, only YOU can prevent forest fires."
At this, Beast Boy jumped onto the table, put his hand to his mouth just in time to contain a blast of vomit, and bolted out of the steakhouse. The entire restaurant fell silent, all eyes on the still swinging door through which Beast Boy had escaped.
"More mustard please." Starfire requested of the waiter.
***End Flashback***
"Oh yea! That was awful rude of him," said Cyborg, realizing his body bag wasn't going to fit in the fridge.
He took out everything else in the fridge, including Beast Boy's soy products and started stuffing in his loot with considerable effort.
"If he didn't like the place he coulda kept it to himself." He said with strain in his voice.
Robin Finally spoke.
"Yea, did you see the way he over-reacted when he found out there was no salad on the menu?"
"And when the waiter insisted that chicken was a vegetable." Added Starfire.
"Oh friggin well," boomed Cyborg finally managing to close the fridge on his entire take-out minus a couple of pig thighs, which he held in his hand. "More bloody goodness for me!"
He looked at the pig thighs and grabbed his stomach, making a pained and disappointed expression. "Umm. Anyone wanna finish these last couple of hamstrings? They wouldn't fit in the fridge. Robin?"
"No thanks Cy," said Robin hastily, putting out his hand defensively and making a grab to his stomach. "I don't think I can take on anymore."
"Starfire?"
"I also am stuffed beyond comfort"
Cyborg looked to Raven and found her walking towards her room. He stepped in front of her and hung the seared flesh enticingly in front of her.
"What about you Raven? You know you want my hammy goodness."
Raven's eyes suddenly became more bloodshot.
"Unless the idea of shampooing the carpet excites you, I suggest you remove your swine from my face."
Cyborg took the hint and Raven was allowed swine-free passage to her room.
"Fine. I guess I'll polish these babies off a little later."
He put the thighs on the kitchen counter.
"But first, I have a little business to attend to," he said proudly, a finger in the air.
He started walking towards the bathroom, grabbing a gaming magazine off the coffee table.
"See y'all in 45 to 60!"
He strode towards the bathroom whistling. Robin and Starfire watched him until he disappeared into the hallway. A distant slam was heard and the whistling was no longer audible. When they were alone, Starfire spoke.
"Robin?"
Robin turned to her nervously.
"I am worried about Beast Boy."
Robin exhaled, relieved that she hadn't inquired as to the nature of Cyborg's "business."
"It is not like him to disappear like this for so long. I fear he may have gotten lost... or worse."
Robin had to agree that it was unusual for Beast Boy to be alone for any length of time at all.
"Don't worry about it Star." He feigned assuringly. "I'm sure he's just still a little peeved about the restaurant."
At that an airy squeak was heard.
"Hahaha! Awesome!"
It was Beast Boy.
"You gotta tell Cy that one!"
Starfire's mood changed immediately.
"Beast Boy!"
She and Robin looked towards the door to wait for his arrival. A soft mumble was heard and then came Beast Boy, louder and closer this time.
"Hahaha! That's gross! Cy's gonna short!"
The door zipped open and there stood Beast Boy, apparently fully recovered from the Mad Cow's ordeal. He was not alone. Standing next to him was another teen.
The unfamiliar boy was a breathing paradox. He was about Starfire's height and of thin build and yet he seemed sturdy and muscular. His hair was a wild and overgrown mess of hundreds of shiny and smooth, dark, lightly curling locks. Each lock was clearly distinguished from the next but they fell in all different directions, some landing over his ears, some appearing to reach skyward before waning and returning home, and others leaping everywhere in between. One could not say for certain whether he spent hours with gel positioning each lock or if he had gotten out of the shower just a few moments ago and shook his head vigorously. He was wearing a loose fitting Hawaiian shirt of a loud vivid green over looser fitting dull olive khaki pants. His features could be considered hard but he was wearing a soft, almost childlike smile. All in all he appeared to be very laid back, despite his proud, straight posture. The quality of his clothes pointed to a well-to-do family but his tattered white acrylic sack, held lightly to his back by a single diagonal strap across his chest spoke of a harder knock existence. His most prominent feature was the striking green color of his eyes, which sparkled with a joy that demanded no cause.
"Ladies and gentle-Robin," started Beast Boy. "I bring you the incredible and very well fed Beast Boy, with special guest, the knowledgeable and very well dressed Patch!"
Patch nodded cheerfully to the two.
"Robin and Starfire I presume."
His voice was soft yet full of almost cocky confidence. Robin and Starfire were too aghast at the sudden intrusion of green in the room to respond. Beast Boy interceded.
"Dudes! I met this guy at a vegetarian cafe! He knows all this gross stuff about meat. I couldn't remember it all so I brought him here to talk to Cyborg about his-" He put his hands on either side of his head to form quotations in the air, "demented protein addiction."
Patch's smile grew slightly at the edges.
"Deranged, Beast Boy." He said gently as a father would correct a child.
"I said that. And he's gonna tell him about the parasites and horomones and anti....antibaaaa..."
"...aaaotics." Patch said slowly, his smile unwavering.
"I know I was gonna say that!"
Beast Boy looked impatiently at his fellow titans.
"Well aincha gonna tell me where Cy is?" He said with his hands on his hips.
Robin had since snapped out of his daze and had his mouth open waiting for Beast Boy to stop talking.
"Hi Patch. Welcome to Titan Tower. Cyborg is...busy."
"Yes, he has much business to which to attend in the bathroom. He will be available in 42 to 57."
Robin and Beast Boy cringed. Patch and gave a chuckle filled with more air than vocal chord.
"Did I mention that meat has no fiber?" He said in Beast Boy's direction but loud enough for all present to hear.
Robin and Beast Boy upgraded their cringe. Starfire was unfazed.
"No you did not. I like your shirt. On my planet, one wears such a garment when they are going to perform a Barukian skim dance."
"Well on earth, one wears such a garment when they visit warm coastal areas." He responded as if nothing out of the ordinary had been said. "I wear it because I like the color."
He seemed just a little ashamed to have been caught talking about himself.
"Your hair is very healthy looking. What's your secret?"
Starfire smiled like a little girl who had just had her pigtails complimented.
"Water and a brush." She followed with a giggle, reveling in the friendliness of the stranger.
"That's actually pretty interesting. I once heard that many celebrities keep their hair looking healthy by washing it with only water and using shampoo only very occasionally. Apparently the natural oils-"
"Okay already!" Interrupted an over-excited Beast Boy. "Enough fashion talk! Tell them about the parasite eggs in meat!"
Patch looked to Robin expectantly. Robin wasn't sure what he wanted and just stared back. Several blinks were exchanged before Patch finally spoke.
"Are you interested in hearing about meat borne parasites?"
Starfire jumped in.
"I am interested in learning about Earth parasites!"
Patch looked to her with a happy but serious expression.
"I know you're interested Starfire. That's why I'm asking Robin and not you." He said matter-of-factly.
He looked back to Robin but gave Starfire a worried side glance as he realized he may have offended her. She was apparently not offended and was waiting impatiently for Robin who, given his current gastronomic condition, was apt to say no, but did not want to deprive the expectant Tamaranian girl beside him.
"Sure go ahead." He said suavely.
"Alright!" Beast Boy exclaimed as if he had just been notified it was his turn for show and tell. "Go sit on the couch! I'll get some drinks! You guys gotta hear this stuff!" He said, pushing the three over towards the couch.
"Beast Boy, what is the matter with you?" asked a confused Starfire.
"Just wait here! I'll be right back." he said giving them a final shove towards the couch and skipping off towards the kitchen. Patch spoke up.
"You have to understand how hard it is to be a vegetarian alone. He's probably hoping I'll convince-"
*THUD*
"DUDE!" sounded Beast Boy's voice from the kitchen.
He was trapped under Cyborg's doggy bag, which looked a lot heavier on top of a squirming Beast Boy than it did over Cyborg's shoulder. It had apparently fallen out of the fridge and rolled on top of him.
"What the heck is this parasite farm doing here?! And what happened to all my food?!"
Robin and Starfire ran over to help him. Patch stood and watched, amused. Robin lifted the heavy grease bag with a grunt and Starfire helped Beast Boy to his feet.
"Cyborg's doggy bag." Said Robin simply.
"That meat-head!" Yelled Beast Boy. "He chucked all my food on the floor! He's not getting away with this!"
Beast Boy was throwing a tantrum, causing Robin and Starfire to back away from him. They had never seen Beast Boy this angry.
"I've had enough of his anti-vegetarian attitude man! I'm gonna throw this nasty carcass out the window! That'll teach him!"
Patch's expression suddenly became more serious.
"That will teach him nothing."
He had been silent throughout the ordeal and his sudden statement drew all three pairs of eyes to him. His smile had all but faded.
"Of course it will!" Retorted Beast Boy. "And I'll be doing him a favor by getting rid of this health hazard!"
"All you will do is arouse his resentment." Patch said calmly.
His voice was a gentle tug back to reality, but it was laced almost imperceptibly with sadness. Beast Boy calmed down considerably and began rubbing at a grease stain on his tights.
"Well hopefully you can teach him a thing or two with your meat science."
"I can tell him everything I know but I can never force him to understand... or even to listen."
"'Course you can't! Not with THAT attitude!"
"And what attitude would you have me apply?" Patch said, his smile and joy beginning to return.
"Well, like mine." Answered Beast Boy without much thought.
Patch's expression had returned to its original joyful state.
"If your attitude is the key to convincing him, then why is he not yet convinced?" He asked playfully.
"Because I don't have all the meat science." Beast Boy said as if he was talking to an idiot. He was beginning to get frustrated again.
Patch laughed as would a father who had just been threatened by a beloved 3 year old son.
"Tell you what then. You confront him with your attitude and I'll contribute my science and we'll see if we can't do it together."
Beast Boy lit up instantly.
"Genius!" he said. "With your knowledge and my charisma, we'll be an unstoppable team!"
Starfire giggled and Robin stood looking at Patch and holding his chin in contemplation. He eventually looked down at Cyborg's meat sack and started trying to shove it back into the open fridge.
"A little help here?" he strained.
The others came to help him cram the bag into the fridge. After almost a minute of grunting and cracking animal bones, the meat was in and the fridge door was closed.
"Whatabout my Soy?" Asked Beast Boy.
"Throw it out. I'll buy you breakfast tomorrow." Said Patch.
Beast Boy complied without protest and went to work gathering his food off the floor. Robin looked at Patch in astonishment.
"You have incredible people skills you know that?"
Patch looked surprised for a moment but then regained his cocky composure and smiled warmly at Robin.
"Actually, no I didn't. In fact I haven't talked to anyone in quite a while. That really is quite a compliment."
"And your smile. Why are you always so happy?"
Patch's smile grew substantially, as if he had just received the greatest compliment of all.
"I don't see why I shouldn't be."
Robin put his hand back to his chin and thought a moment.
"There is death and suffering everyday. That's why we're in business." He said making a circular gesture to the structure they were standing in.
Patch did not need to think. It was as if he had rehearsed this scene a thousand times and knew it by heart.
"And yet sometimes you are happy."
He stopped talking and smiled, waiting for Robin to say his part. Robin's eyes narrowed as he looked to the ceiling and considered this fact.
"Well, good stuff happens too. I guess we're happy when things are good and sad when things are bad."
"I am happy because I am. I prefer not to rely on an inconsistent world for my joy."
Robin thought again. It didn't make any sense. If happiness was not to be derived from happy things then-
"Heellloo!" Beast Boy interrupted Robin's thoughts. "You're doing that thing again where you're talking about stuff other than how gross meat is!"
He had finished throwing out his food and had gotten all excited again.
"Yes!" said Starfire. "I am eager to hear about meat borne parasites."
"Then to the couch m'lady and I'll tell you all about the little buggers." Patch said to Starfire.
Starfire floated over to the couch, giggling at her new nickname. Patch turned to Robin.
"Some other time perhaps. Will you be joining us on the couch?" he asked happily.
Beast Boy answered for him.
"Of course he will! You guys go ahead; I'll get those drinks ready!"
Robin shrugged and allowed Beast Boy to lead him and Patch to the couch. Patch started by discussing tapeworm cysts but was deterred many a time by Starfire's eclectic questions, and ended up discussing everything from cell biology to meat processing techniques. Sometimes Starfire had biological knowledge of her own to share (apparently Tamaranian biology is very similar to Terran) which greatly interested Patch but Beast Boy loudly did his best to shut down non-meat related avenues. Patch seemed to be very well versed in all sorts of science and loved to show it. As he spoke more and more his speech picked up tempo; he even raised his normally soft voice to emphasize what he felt needed emphasis. In this way the four passed twenty minutes.
"And since the benzo-pyrenes produced from the grilling process inhibit the detoxification of benzene," Patch continued enthusiastically, "the flukes are provided ample solvent to complete their entire reproductive cycle inside your thymus."
Robin was on the far side of the couch, leaning forward towards Patch with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his palms. He was biting his nails and looking a little sick. Starfire was lying on her tummy on the floor, leaning on her elbows, and was looking up as a child would to an old story-teller. Beast Boy was perched on the backrest of the couch, excitedly looking from friend to friend to gauge their reactions. Patch was sitting on the couch opposite Robin, his legs crossed Indian style. He appeared to be in his element.
"And so not only is it now a permanent resident in your body but the first four stages in the thymus actually open...the....way.....for......"
He trailed off as something caught his attention. Everyone turned to follow his gaze and found an irked Raven approaching from the dark hallway. When she had everyone's attention she spoke as she walked.
"Between Cyborg's grunting and whistling and Beast Boy's shouting, I'm having a terrible time keeping my focus."
Her figure sizzled with dark energy on her last three words but her voice was steady. She noticed Patch and appeared to be somewhat taken aback. The others looked to him and saw that his smile had faded and was replaced by an expression of shocked awe. Raven realized she must have scared the stranger with her display of anger. She supposed she should be polite to a guest and approached to make a gesture of welcome but stopped 10 feet away when she saw the green of his shirt. She was dazed but only for a moment. She spoke from where she was.
"Hi," she forced. "What's your name?"
She was trying desperately to be cordial; it did not come naturally to her. Patch was still in shock and continued to stare. The others were not sure what to do.
"I'm Raven." She blushed slightly in embarrassment at the awkward situation she had caused. She wasn't sure whether or not asking for his name again would make the situation worse. Fortunately the blush was enough to get Patch's confidence back up.
"Patch." He said with all the steadiness he could call up amidst his nervousness.
"I didn't mean to frighten you," she continued, her blush faded. "It's vital that I am able to keep my focus. Otherwise I lose control and things get destroyed." She droned dryly.
"..L'ath no fur-" Patch choked.
Raven's gaze didn't waver but her head cocked slightly to the side.
"What"
Patch cleared his throat and prepared himself to speak. He smiled his most gentle and comforting smile.
"Hell hath no fury..." He looked up to her as would a child who had just asked his parents' permission for something.
Her head cocked a little more as she considered his statement. Was this something she was supposed to recognize? A code phrase of some sort? She searched his eyes for any hints but saw only two orbs of bright green vulnerable expectation. She broke the gaze and looked to her friends. They also looked to her for an answer. She searched her memory again. It did sound familiar. Was it an incantation perhaps? She felt her blush beginning to return as she realized the situation had gotten awkward again. Then it clicked in her mind.
"Shakespeare." Her eyes widened a little at the realization but her voice remained level and monotone. "Clever."
His smile grew and his eyes sparkled at the acceptance of his remark. Feeling she had done enough to comfort Patch, she turned to walk towards the front door. She took a few paces and stopped. She had suddenly realized the full depth of his remark. She turned to face him. He was still smiling with uncharacteristic shyness.
"Very clever." She conceded. "However I didn't mean to say that I get angry and smash things." She spoke slowly and evenly. "My powers are driven by emotion. If I lose focus and my emotions get out of hand, things get destroyed and people get hurt." She decided to leave out the part about the sleeping Trigon.
She turned around and started walking away again. She got about five paces.
"Why do you need to retain focus to keep your emotions stable?"
She stopped and felt her cloak come to rest at her heels. She had only granted him her original explanation because she felt his clever remark deserved so much in return. She debated whether or not she should answer his current question. She stood there for several moments but eventually turned around and looked at him. It was a reasonable question after all.
"Allow me to clarify. I need to retain focus in order to prevent any emotion from taking place at all. It is simply the act of feeling that unleashes destructive force."
His eyes widened and his face rocked backwards slightly. He looked horrified. He looked down at nothing for a moment and then looked back at her. He looked as if...he was about to cry. She had to look away from him, lest she herself would start crying. She started walking again, the effort at controlling her sadness making her very tired.
"Isn't there anything that you...or anyone could do?" Came a small voice behind her.
She suddenly turned around with uncharacteristic quickness.
"NO!"
A table and bench set was promptly blown to pieces in a blast of dark energy. Everyone was surprised by the outburst, including Raven herself. Her voice was not one of pure hatred but rather one of a woman standing over a dead lover and cursing the fates for her loss. As the last table leg knocked on the floor, she turned around and walked quickly towards the front door.
"I am going to the roof. Do NOT go there." She warned the four in her normal voice. She hastily made the rest of her way to the door and it closed behind her.
It was a good while before anyone spoke. Beast Boy was the one to break the silence.
"Man, I swear if you look up PMS in the dictionary you'll find a big picture of Raven!"
"It is very difficult to be Raven." Said Starfire. "Believe me I have tried."
Patch regained a bit of his composure and looked at Starfire curiously.
"What do you mean?" His smile had not yet returned.
"And when Cy is out of the can, have I got a story for you." Beast Boy jumped in, not to be outdone.
Robin noticed that Patch's smile had faded but decided against calling him on his obviously faulty joy philosophy just yet.
**********[end chapter 1]**********
This was a light chapter. chapter two will be a bit more serious and will give you a much better idea of what's going on in Raven's head. if anyone reviews this chapter lemme know if i've kept everyone in character