## Denotes thoughts
~~O~~ longer memories.
Part 2
Faith, the dark-haired beautiful and enigmatic Slayer dressed in her favorite outfit, black leather, and Xander the dark-haired boy, dressed in his soldier outfit, who stood there in his soldier stance . . . cold as ice. They were standing in the Mayor's office, standing in front of his cupboard of skulls and magic stuff.
Xander didn't release his death glare on her for a second and it made her nervous.
#First Willow and now him again, won't they ever stop? They really are a hoot and a half,#
Faith thought, with a small scared chuckle. Her memories trailed back to the hall in the highschool . . . to the moment that the two of them showed her their past adventures.
~~ O ~~
Willow, while pointing at the door,"and over here we have the cafeteria where we were mauled by snakes," she said while smiling.
Xander, who points down, grinned, "and this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow."
"Oh, and over there is the spot where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night," Willow said again . . .
~~O~~
Faith winced about the thought. #They actually had fun about it . . . Incredible#
A chill ran down her spine, when she thought back on her adventure, on what Kakistos had done to her Watcher, and then what he would have done to her . . . Every night she had nightmares about it. She couldn't stop thinking about it and just get it out of her head. It had become a part of her.
Her rush of adrenaline had lowered to normal levels, if you can speak of normal in Faith's case.
Her whole body was full of hormones and not only from the sudden fear or of being a teenage girl also of being a Slayer. It made her so sharp, alert, digging the danger and even needing it. How could she survive otherwise and do her job? But most of it was coming from her current situation in which she had chosen the side of the Mayor, which went completely against her nature of being a Slayer, and all the horrors and drama she had faced that had lead her to this desperate situation. All her emotions were really fucked up . . .
Now the Dark Slayer was facing a boy, a clumsy, goffy boy who meant nothing to her. He had come to her door to let her face her own denial.
Instead of being harsh and stubborn, he took it gently . . . in a nice and understanding way, just like he is. He had offered himself as a friend to help her in front of a court. She had denied it of course.
#How can I believe that he really wanted to help me and not doing it for his own pleasure?#
~~O~~ "You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness," ~~O~~ she remembered Angel telling her.
She almost did believe it. She nodded to herself. #Luckly for me, it was my own Watcher, who told me that lesson again. At least the Mayor is honest, he also cares about me.#
Now he stood there, at least honest about his cold intentions . . . one wrong movement and he would kill her. #It's a lot smarter then the last time, way better then a wet noodle,# she chuckled, remembering him showing his biceps.
Xander didn't lower his gaze at her, after all those long minutes, when he spoke. He tried to break her a little, get a hit on her defenses, before talking. "Faith, I guess this is the only way that I am able to talk to you."
Faith just shrugged. "Huh!" she snorted with disdain, "Why would you wanna a talk to me, boy toy?"
"Why are you doing this, Faith?" he said with a serious and calm tone.
"What do you care?" she snapped pissed.
Xander just shrugged. His expression was still cold as he spoke with irony, "I don't know. Maybe I am just curious or maybe I am still this sweet good- hearted boy who thinks that there is good in anyone. The poor bastard who still believes that even *you* can be redeemed."
"Well, I guess you are the only one then . . . Your precious little redhead thought otherwise about that, she didn't even try to convince me. She said that is was my own choice, whatever the circumstances were that made me like this. I was a Slayer and now I am nothing, just a big selfish, worthless waste."
"I guess there is a mistake in my genes then," he said and added whispering, his face still blank, "I wonder how that could have slipped in? It couldn't have come from my parents!"
Although she had heard his lost words, she chose to ignore it.
"Anyway, here we are, and I think we should talk. Why are you doing this, Faith?" he asked again with even more steel in his voice.
"Why are *you* doing this?" Faith snapped back.
"Hey, Buffy, Willow, Cordy, look I have turned Faith to our side again. Oh, how proud am I am of myself, what a great scooby I am," she spoke, mockingly imitating Xander the White knight, hitting her fist on her chest.
Xander shook his head in denial. With the same mocking tone imitating himself, only with a little sad tone to it, he said, "no, no. It is more like this: 'Hey, Buffy, Willow, look, I have turned Faith to our side again. Oh, how proud I am of myself, maybe I am not the Zeppo after all.'" He nodded decisively as he tried to imitate Giles when he spoke, "or maybe even 'she is better than you' instead of 'she is much, much better than you." Xander chuckled and shook his head lightly. "They would see you as an exciting new obsession for me . . . It would make Wolfie feel very special about me."
Faith didn't buy it and continued. "'Look, what a great heart I have, how brave I am . . . all women fall for that . . . even the grazy Dark Slayer . . .'"
Xander interrupted her, " . . . *after* I blackmailed a wicked witch into performing a love spell for me! Although I doubt you'd have fallen for it and would have joined Cordy." Then he whispered to himself, "I am only good as a muffin!"
For the first time, Faith felt a little sorry for him. She had used him like that and then she had thrown him away. She had seen the way Cordelia had treated him and how they all told him how useless he was. Her thoughts went back to his words 'love spell'.
She had heard some rumors about this and she was intrigued by it. "Love spell?"
He sighed, but not losing sight of her. "Yeah, it was meant for Cordy, to let her feel the way I felt when she dumped me in front of her friends. It hurt so much that I resorted to black magic. It went wrong, instead of Cordy, all the other girls fell in love with me.
Each of them rather would rather have killed me instead of seeing someone else having me. Willow was the worst of them and even Buffy . . ."
She looked into his eyes and saw a lot of hurt flashing there. Faith frowned at that, misunderstanding. #I thought Buffy hadn't done anything with Xander. She said it herself. How? Xander can only think about Buffy,# she thought.
"Buffy?" she asked.
"Buffy came to me with nothing more then a raincoat on and then she grabbed her raincoat belt and began to untie it. I asked her not do it and she said, 'aren't you gonna open your present?'."
"You didn't open it?"
Xander shook his head. "It's not that I didn't want to. Okay, for a minute, it was touch and go there . . . If . . . if I thought she had one clue what it would have meant to me." He looked at her in disbelief, surprised that she thought about him like that, "C'mon, how could I have taken advantage of her like that?"
Faith didn't believe her ears. #He didn't take advantage of her?#
Xander continued, with pain thick in his voice, "No matter how much I want to, she doesn't love me and she never will." It was silent again for more than a minute, the sadness of his voice still echoing in the air.
Although his words had its effect on Faith, she still thought of all men as beasts. Xander just couldn't be an exception. She felt a little sorry for the boy for so many things, but too many *guys* had used her for their own fun.
Xander saw her disbelief and tried another approach, from a more realistic point of view, less noble. "Well, okay. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs . . . warmth and love . . ."
"Oh, please," Faith drawled, disgusted, "I don't want to hear it . . ." She went for a hit under the belt, taunting him. "I don't want to hear your late night Redhead Bed fantasies, they just don't make me hot . . ."
Xander lost his cool for a moment again. "You don't go there!" he snapped back.
#Ooooh,# she thought grinning as she said, smiling, "Have I overstepped my bounds?" she spoke mockingly. Then she went serious again. "I don't care how sensitive you act . . . you, like all men, are just in it for the chase."
He had regained his calm again, when no direct hit came back and spoke. "You are no different than that, Faith. I know firsthand that you're like a wild thing, I am the living proof. Want . . . grab . . . take, and then throw it away."
"Oh, please, as if I am the one who kicks about how I made you my boy toy for a night," Faith said, disgusted.
Xander shook his head, looking her straight in her eyes, as honest as he could. "No Faith, I am not. It's not that it wasn't great, it was like a buzz. Ok, it is not that you drained my life force . . . but still it was great."
He sighed. " Ok, Faith, yeah you're right, I did fluke with Willow and I am very sorry about that. I also did have an one night stand with you. I want to feel sex, warmth, love and all the other things. I'd do the one night thing if my partner perfectly understands it that it is a one night thing and nothing more. But I would never throw someone on the bed, screw 'em, and then throw 'em out of my room half-naked . . .
I didn't tell my friends about our night just before I went to you to offer you my help after that accident. I would never make fun about it behind your back or in front of your face! I am *not* that kind of man!"
Faith eyes widened and his words made her reflect on herself, pondering his words. This is not what she had expected.
She regained herself quick enough.
#Oh? Let's see what kind of man he really is,# Faith thought changing the subject a little. "It's easy to play for hero when you're the only one with a gun in your hand, isn't it?" she asked flippantly.
Xander nodded, remembering his adventure with the bomb. "Yes, it is much easier, you can be sure of that . . ."
From the tone of his voice and his facial expression, Faith thought that he had experienced the other way around, #Must be his soldier memories . . .# Faith smirked at Xander, "Are you still such a hero if *I* would have had the weapon, X-man?" she asked daringly.
She saw Xander looking at her and saw his hand reach slowly for his throat, unconsciously or deliberately, Faith didn't know, and shook his head. "We know what would happen then, don't we? . . . At least it will be quicker than being strangled to death."
#He has learned his lesson,# she thought. "I guess it is . . . do you still want to try out? C'mon, show me how much you trust me to be a good gal," she asked him with more pressure.
"And make me the Mayor's newest pet?" Xander asked.
Faith grinned evilly and just shrugged.
"Or yours?" he continued.
Faith's grin went a little wider, the darkness flashed in her eyes at his casual comment. "Wouldn't it be nice?" she quipped.
He raised his eyebrow, and asked, "Then you're the Queen of the 'black leather fetish SM party', and I am your puppy slave?"
Faith grinned even more and nodded. "Well?" she asked.
Xander looked at the ground, and shook his head lightly, amazed by her disdain towards him. "If you think I am an idiot, you are wrong," he hissed.
Faith was pissed off again. "Take it or leave it!" she snapped.
"Proves that I am nothing too you," Xander mumbled softly to himself.
"It's up too you to change that," Faith said daringly again.
Xander was surprised that she had heard this comment of his. #Damn Slayer hearing, she has heard everything I said.# He sighed heavily. "How can you expect me to hand my gun over? It is the only way for me to even be able for you to see me, let alone talk to me."
Faith shuffled with her feet, impatient, no longer bothering to listen to what he had to say.
"It's going to be the only way for you to convince me. You have three choices: just go away, alive . . . or shoot me and go away alive, or just toss me that damn PPK . . . And you better hurry, 'cause the Mayor won't be gone for long!"
"Faith, you can't keep running," Xander tried again, not giving in to her demanding tone.
This made her remember Wesley's words and filled her body with anger. With contained fury, she replied, "I don't have to run anymore! Right now I have somebody who can take care of me!"
#Ah, I have hit a sore button here,# Xander thought. "The Mayor? That's precisely what I mean, you are hiding yourself, hoping to escape your life as a Slayer. That is even worse than running," he spoke calmly, trying to make it more painful for her.
"What do you know about that? You don't have to deal with this crap!" she asked, still pissed.
He sighed, not much impressed by her anger. "I don't, but I do know about seek and hide. I do it myself all the time!"
Her fury changed into a mocking laughter. "I guess you do . . .
Congratulations, you just have won your first point!" She paused a moment. "Now what? You're offering yourself as my protector?" she said it, like it was insanity.
Xander went serious again. "Listen, Faith, I realize that I am a kind of joke to you. But I really mean it. The Mayor is not the solution and you really need someone. I am not saying that it should be me, Buf, uh, . . . " He quickly corrected himself, "the rest of us will help you."
Faith eyes filled themselves with hate as she went furious again. "Read my lips," Faith said in slow motion, "I hate Buffy!" She took a breath and calmed down a bit. "She acts like the responsible, caring and heroic one, but in the end, she is no better then me . . . I am not in denial . . . she is."
She took a pause and let the anger flow away. She looked up to the ceiling and spoke again. "Actually, I hate them all! The arrogant Witch, Mr. 'All Know' Tweed and Mr. Wuzzly."
"And me?" Xander asked with some hope, nervously.
She frowned for a moment. For some moments she thought of him as an open book, yet for a big part he was a mystery to her. It took a her a lot more to convince him to go with her game. He seemed honest too. But this was not the moment to tell or ask him about that. She sighed. "You're a geek, a looser and a pain in the ass. Just look in the mirror, man! You dug up your old stuff, came all the way over and try to impress me with your soldier act . . ." she said with her hands up in the air. Then pointed her finger at him. "Well, I've got news for you, mister, *you don't score* . . . I've no need for a personal butt monkey!" She growled mildly, "Buffy does!" A bit more serious, she added, "I don't trust you, you're way to much of a pal for Buffy!"
Xander eyes grew wide. "You can trust me!" Xander almost yelled when he tried again, way to many times now.
Faith was exasperated. "Then show me your real face!" she snapped.
Xander looked at her for a long time and thought about his chances. How much was his life worth? Faith saw him looking at her, at her movements, in her eyes, looking for any sign of sincereness in her. She felt his senses go to the max, searching for any sign of hope to get through to her. #No, Hyena, you won't see a damn thing, I am just a mad, scared, wicked and totally fucked up bitch, you'll need to play this game to the very end . . . #Xander's distrust was plainly visible, written on his face. Faith felt the tension rising in his eyes. #C'mon Xander, don't let me think of you as a sissy man!# She hoped that he would give in.
He could get away now, it had gone all wrong. But Xander wouldn't be Xander if he didn't try, so he finally made his decision; he lowered his gun. #"A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited self life,"# he remembered himself saying that. He made a silent mental plea, and threw the weapon to her. #Damn,# he growled to himself, making a fist in self- disgust. #Here I go again,# he thought refering to his role as donut-guy.
"Do you like a glazed, cinnamon, cream-filled, or a jelly donut with it?"
~~O~~ longer memories.
Part 2
Faith, the dark-haired beautiful and enigmatic Slayer dressed in her favorite outfit, black leather, and Xander the dark-haired boy, dressed in his soldier outfit, who stood there in his soldier stance . . . cold as ice. They were standing in the Mayor's office, standing in front of his cupboard of skulls and magic stuff.
Xander didn't release his death glare on her for a second and it made her nervous.
#First Willow and now him again, won't they ever stop? They really are a hoot and a half,#
Faith thought, with a small scared chuckle. Her memories trailed back to the hall in the highschool . . . to the moment that the two of them showed her their past adventures.
~~ O ~~
Willow, while pointing at the door,"and over here we have the cafeteria where we were mauled by snakes," she said while smiling.
Xander, who points down, grinned, "and this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow."
"Oh, and over there is the spot where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night," Willow said again . . .
~~O~~
Faith winced about the thought. #They actually had fun about it . . . Incredible#
A chill ran down her spine, when she thought back on her adventure, on what Kakistos had done to her Watcher, and then what he would have done to her . . . Every night she had nightmares about it. She couldn't stop thinking about it and just get it out of her head. It had become a part of her.
Her rush of adrenaline had lowered to normal levels, if you can speak of normal in Faith's case.
Her whole body was full of hormones and not only from the sudden fear or of being a teenage girl also of being a Slayer. It made her so sharp, alert, digging the danger and even needing it. How could she survive otherwise and do her job? But most of it was coming from her current situation in which she had chosen the side of the Mayor, which went completely against her nature of being a Slayer, and all the horrors and drama she had faced that had lead her to this desperate situation. All her emotions were really fucked up . . .
Now the Dark Slayer was facing a boy, a clumsy, goffy boy who meant nothing to her. He had come to her door to let her face her own denial.
Instead of being harsh and stubborn, he took it gently . . . in a nice and understanding way, just like he is. He had offered himself as a friend to help her in front of a court. She had denied it of course.
#How can I believe that he really wanted to help me and not doing it for his own pleasure?#
~~O~~ "You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness," ~~O~~ she remembered Angel telling her.
She almost did believe it. She nodded to herself. #Luckly for me, it was my own Watcher, who told me that lesson again. At least the Mayor is honest, he also cares about me.#
Now he stood there, at least honest about his cold intentions . . . one wrong movement and he would kill her. #It's a lot smarter then the last time, way better then a wet noodle,# she chuckled, remembering him showing his biceps.
Xander didn't lower his gaze at her, after all those long minutes, when he spoke. He tried to break her a little, get a hit on her defenses, before talking. "Faith, I guess this is the only way that I am able to talk to you."
Faith just shrugged. "Huh!" she snorted with disdain, "Why would you wanna a talk to me, boy toy?"
"Why are you doing this, Faith?" he said with a serious and calm tone.
"What do you care?" she snapped pissed.
Xander just shrugged. His expression was still cold as he spoke with irony, "I don't know. Maybe I am just curious or maybe I am still this sweet good- hearted boy who thinks that there is good in anyone. The poor bastard who still believes that even *you* can be redeemed."
"Well, I guess you are the only one then . . . Your precious little redhead thought otherwise about that, she didn't even try to convince me. She said that is was my own choice, whatever the circumstances were that made me like this. I was a Slayer and now I am nothing, just a big selfish, worthless waste."
"I guess there is a mistake in my genes then," he said and added whispering, his face still blank, "I wonder how that could have slipped in? It couldn't have come from my parents!"
Although she had heard his lost words, she chose to ignore it.
"Anyway, here we are, and I think we should talk. Why are you doing this, Faith?" he asked again with even more steel in his voice.
"Why are *you* doing this?" Faith snapped back.
"Hey, Buffy, Willow, Cordy, look I have turned Faith to our side again. Oh, how proud am I am of myself, what a great scooby I am," she spoke, mockingly imitating Xander the White knight, hitting her fist on her chest.
Xander shook his head in denial. With the same mocking tone imitating himself, only with a little sad tone to it, he said, "no, no. It is more like this: 'Hey, Buffy, Willow, look, I have turned Faith to our side again. Oh, how proud I am of myself, maybe I am not the Zeppo after all.'" He nodded decisively as he tried to imitate Giles when he spoke, "or maybe even 'she is better than you' instead of 'she is much, much better than you." Xander chuckled and shook his head lightly. "They would see you as an exciting new obsession for me . . . It would make Wolfie feel very special about me."
Faith didn't buy it and continued. "'Look, what a great heart I have, how brave I am . . . all women fall for that . . . even the grazy Dark Slayer . . .'"
Xander interrupted her, " . . . *after* I blackmailed a wicked witch into performing a love spell for me! Although I doubt you'd have fallen for it and would have joined Cordy." Then he whispered to himself, "I am only good as a muffin!"
For the first time, Faith felt a little sorry for him. She had used him like that and then she had thrown him away. She had seen the way Cordelia had treated him and how they all told him how useless he was. Her thoughts went back to his words 'love spell'.
She had heard some rumors about this and she was intrigued by it. "Love spell?"
He sighed, but not losing sight of her. "Yeah, it was meant for Cordy, to let her feel the way I felt when she dumped me in front of her friends. It hurt so much that I resorted to black magic. It went wrong, instead of Cordy, all the other girls fell in love with me.
Each of them rather would rather have killed me instead of seeing someone else having me. Willow was the worst of them and even Buffy . . ."
She looked into his eyes and saw a lot of hurt flashing there. Faith frowned at that, misunderstanding. #I thought Buffy hadn't done anything with Xander. She said it herself. How? Xander can only think about Buffy,# she thought.
"Buffy?" she asked.
"Buffy came to me with nothing more then a raincoat on and then she grabbed her raincoat belt and began to untie it. I asked her not do it and she said, 'aren't you gonna open your present?'."
"You didn't open it?"
Xander shook his head. "It's not that I didn't want to. Okay, for a minute, it was touch and go there . . . If . . . if I thought she had one clue what it would have meant to me." He looked at her in disbelief, surprised that she thought about him like that, "C'mon, how could I have taken advantage of her like that?"
Faith didn't believe her ears. #He didn't take advantage of her?#
Xander continued, with pain thick in his voice, "No matter how much I want to, she doesn't love me and she never will." It was silent again for more than a minute, the sadness of his voice still echoing in the air.
Although his words had its effect on Faith, she still thought of all men as beasts. Xander just couldn't be an exception. She felt a little sorry for the boy for so many things, but too many *guys* had used her for their own fun.
Xander saw her disbelief and tried another approach, from a more realistic point of view, less noble. "Well, okay. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs . . . warmth and love . . ."
"Oh, please," Faith drawled, disgusted, "I don't want to hear it . . ." She went for a hit under the belt, taunting him. "I don't want to hear your late night Redhead Bed fantasies, they just don't make me hot . . ."
Xander lost his cool for a moment again. "You don't go there!" he snapped back.
#Ooooh,# she thought grinning as she said, smiling, "Have I overstepped my bounds?" she spoke mockingly. Then she went serious again. "I don't care how sensitive you act . . . you, like all men, are just in it for the chase."
He had regained his calm again, when no direct hit came back and spoke. "You are no different than that, Faith. I know firsthand that you're like a wild thing, I am the living proof. Want . . . grab . . . take, and then throw it away."
"Oh, please, as if I am the one who kicks about how I made you my boy toy for a night," Faith said, disgusted.
Xander shook his head, looking her straight in her eyes, as honest as he could. "No Faith, I am not. It's not that it wasn't great, it was like a buzz. Ok, it is not that you drained my life force . . . but still it was great."
He sighed. " Ok, Faith, yeah you're right, I did fluke with Willow and I am very sorry about that. I also did have an one night stand with you. I want to feel sex, warmth, love and all the other things. I'd do the one night thing if my partner perfectly understands it that it is a one night thing and nothing more. But I would never throw someone on the bed, screw 'em, and then throw 'em out of my room half-naked . . .
I didn't tell my friends about our night just before I went to you to offer you my help after that accident. I would never make fun about it behind your back or in front of your face! I am *not* that kind of man!"
Faith eyes widened and his words made her reflect on herself, pondering his words. This is not what she had expected.
She regained herself quick enough.
#Oh? Let's see what kind of man he really is,# Faith thought changing the subject a little. "It's easy to play for hero when you're the only one with a gun in your hand, isn't it?" she asked flippantly.
Xander nodded, remembering his adventure with the bomb. "Yes, it is much easier, you can be sure of that . . ."
From the tone of his voice and his facial expression, Faith thought that he had experienced the other way around, #Must be his soldier memories . . .# Faith smirked at Xander, "Are you still such a hero if *I* would have had the weapon, X-man?" she asked daringly.
She saw Xander looking at her and saw his hand reach slowly for his throat, unconsciously or deliberately, Faith didn't know, and shook his head. "We know what would happen then, don't we? . . . At least it will be quicker than being strangled to death."
#He has learned his lesson,# she thought. "I guess it is . . . do you still want to try out? C'mon, show me how much you trust me to be a good gal," she asked him with more pressure.
"And make me the Mayor's newest pet?" Xander asked.
Faith grinned evilly and just shrugged.
"Or yours?" he continued.
Faith's grin went a little wider, the darkness flashed in her eyes at his casual comment. "Wouldn't it be nice?" she quipped.
He raised his eyebrow, and asked, "Then you're the Queen of the 'black leather fetish SM party', and I am your puppy slave?"
Faith grinned even more and nodded. "Well?" she asked.
Xander looked at the ground, and shook his head lightly, amazed by her disdain towards him. "If you think I am an idiot, you are wrong," he hissed.
Faith was pissed off again. "Take it or leave it!" she snapped.
"Proves that I am nothing too you," Xander mumbled softly to himself.
"It's up too you to change that," Faith said daringly again.
Xander was surprised that she had heard this comment of his. #Damn Slayer hearing, she has heard everything I said.# He sighed heavily. "How can you expect me to hand my gun over? It is the only way for me to even be able for you to see me, let alone talk to me."
Faith shuffled with her feet, impatient, no longer bothering to listen to what he had to say.
"It's going to be the only way for you to convince me. You have three choices: just go away, alive . . . or shoot me and go away alive, or just toss me that damn PPK . . . And you better hurry, 'cause the Mayor won't be gone for long!"
"Faith, you can't keep running," Xander tried again, not giving in to her demanding tone.
This made her remember Wesley's words and filled her body with anger. With contained fury, she replied, "I don't have to run anymore! Right now I have somebody who can take care of me!"
#Ah, I have hit a sore button here,# Xander thought. "The Mayor? That's precisely what I mean, you are hiding yourself, hoping to escape your life as a Slayer. That is even worse than running," he spoke calmly, trying to make it more painful for her.
"What do you know about that? You don't have to deal with this crap!" she asked, still pissed.
He sighed, not much impressed by her anger. "I don't, but I do know about seek and hide. I do it myself all the time!"
Her fury changed into a mocking laughter. "I guess you do . . .
Congratulations, you just have won your first point!" She paused a moment. "Now what? You're offering yourself as my protector?" she said it, like it was insanity.
Xander went serious again. "Listen, Faith, I realize that I am a kind of joke to you. But I really mean it. The Mayor is not the solution and you really need someone. I am not saying that it should be me, Buf, uh, . . . " He quickly corrected himself, "the rest of us will help you."
Faith eyes filled themselves with hate as she went furious again. "Read my lips," Faith said in slow motion, "I hate Buffy!" She took a breath and calmed down a bit. "She acts like the responsible, caring and heroic one, but in the end, she is no better then me . . . I am not in denial . . . she is."
She took a pause and let the anger flow away. She looked up to the ceiling and spoke again. "Actually, I hate them all! The arrogant Witch, Mr. 'All Know' Tweed and Mr. Wuzzly."
"And me?" Xander asked with some hope, nervously.
She frowned for a moment. For some moments she thought of him as an open book, yet for a big part he was a mystery to her. It took a her a lot more to convince him to go with her game. He seemed honest too. But this was not the moment to tell or ask him about that. She sighed. "You're a geek, a looser and a pain in the ass. Just look in the mirror, man! You dug up your old stuff, came all the way over and try to impress me with your soldier act . . ." she said with her hands up in the air. Then pointed her finger at him. "Well, I've got news for you, mister, *you don't score* . . . I've no need for a personal butt monkey!" She growled mildly, "Buffy does!" A bit more serious, she added, "I don't trust you, you're way to much of a pal for Buffy!"
Xander eyes grew wide. "You can trust me!" Xander almost yelled when he tried again, way to many times now.
Faith was exasperated. "Then show me your real face!" she snapped.
Xander looked at her for a long time and thought about his chances. How much was his life worth? Faith saw him looking at her, at her movements, in her eyes, looking for any sign of sincereness in her. She felt his senses go to the max, searching for any sign of hope to get through to her. #No, Hyena, you won't see a damn thing, I am just a mad, scared, wicked and totally fucked up bitch, you'll need to play this game to the very end . . . #Xander's distrust was plainly visible, written on his face. Faith felt the tension rising in his eyes. #C'mon Xander, don't let me think of you as a sissy man!# She hoped that he would give in.
He could get away now, it had gone all wrong. But Xander wouldn't be Xander if he didn't try, so he finally made his decision; he lowered his gun. #"A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited self life,"# he remembered himself saying that. He made a silent mental plea, and threw the weapon to her. #Damn,# he growled to himself, making a fist in self- disgust. #Here I go again,# he thought refering to his role as donut-guy.
"Do you like a glazed, cinnamon, cream-filled, or a jelly donut with it?"