Through the Ice.
Chapter 5: A Souvenir
We sat there for almost an eternity. Or so it had felt. I can't believe I let it all out.I had cried and sat there vulnerable to his warmth..his love.his passion.as he slowly gathered me into his arms as I sunk into his chest, hearing his longed heartbeat. He treated me like a doll. A porcelain doll that, if fallen from the highest shelf of its place, would fall upon the floor and shatter into a million pieces. Maybe I was that doll. And I had fallen..but he dove just in time to save me within his warm arms of the creator. I couldn't move. I couldn't understand anything..everything hurt. Why is this happening to me? I can't figure out this life that you have given me, I don't understand why I still breathe or why I dream awake. Why must the sorrow seek in through out my heart and stain my soul? Why must the white bird be shot down by the hunter which care d and nurtured him to health as the young? I shake my head. This needs to stop. I feel as my head were to explode. I can't do this..I feel these tears coming..not again...god.please..not again...
He kept me in his arms..how long was this to last? How long would it take me to gather myself and stand for what I truly am..or am I destined to sit and wait for another to pick me up..maybe that one was Seifer. Maybe he was the hunter and I was that dove..he shot me down to see how I survived and now he has come to nurture the one he created... No that isn't me. I won't allow it..or had it already happened. I sigh and drop my composure. I needed to stop.but really. I had to sit and ask myself.would I fall back to him just like that? Could I? Even after all that he has put me through. I close my eyes tighter. What about Quistis? What about her feelings and the beach..how could I forget all this time....My mind speaks of me being selfish...But is that the right word to be replaced just by such confusion. Its funny people only see the outside and take all t he rest of it for granted. I did that once..but look at where I am now...seriously..
I couldn't stop this insanity that lived dormant within my soul. This was my burden...but it needed to spring free. Seifer broke my silence. He placed his finger upon my lower chin and lifted my face to face his. He smiled at me, staring with those jaded eyes...they were what they did. I stared blankly..what was I to do? The next moment I felt as if a dream. Reality no longer existed and I was alone..besides Seifer. I think I smiled back at him.possibly not visible but it might have left some sort of trace because it lead to actions. I had no control. His warm rose petal colored lips touched mine and a rush went over me.it swept me away.I couldn't explain the feeling if I had to. Geez I hated words. The next minute I found myself upon the floor, pinned down gently by the older blonde above me. This couldn't be good..and the thing about this..I'm not doing anything to stop him....I can't!
He went too far. My shirt was unbuttoned for I never wore my usual attire lately. I had worn cargos for pants and button shirts. I tried to shuffle out from under him. He had the advantage. I dared not to open my eyes. I didn't want to be conscious of what was happening nor did I want to see it. But my actions didn't want to listen. I opened slowly and saw him leaning over me. He trailed his finger slowly down my neck and then down my chest making the shirt sink lower almost off my body. He stopped. Between my left lower collar bone and my sternum. He froze, I knew. He found something..a souvenir..I guess that's what you could call it. His eyes look up at me with disgust, or maybe even a fear to ask what it had come from. He finally backed off. I quickly gathered myself, crossing my shirt and covering what he had seen. A scar. That very scar in which he had given me. I looked at him. He stared blankly at the spot that was now covered by my shirt, which was held shut by my hands and arms. He looked at me with a sort of question pasted on his face..then our silence was broken.he spoke.
"Squall..I..I didn't do that..did I?" He waited. I looked at him again, I analyzed him for once. Like I used to when I was so found of his features. Guess I still am. I pierce into his eyes and he stands tall now. I stand as well. I won't be weak. I'm tired of it. I nod off slowly. Then I place my daggers to him again. He backs off. I can't take this anymore..its getting old. I hate to be the toy, I don't want to feel used...I am not to be abused. I am a person and I do have feelings..that's the end...
Those thoughts stuck in my head as I left without another word or glance. He dared not to follow. I guess he understood. The time would come when I would face this problem and that time would come soon. And when it did..I would be waiting and ready...
Thanks for reading this everyone who commented, you guys rock! I'm so happy that this is going good. My computer hasn't been working lately and I couldn't update these chapters but here they are and I'm trying to get this stupid security lock off of my computer so I can update quicker! Thank you all again for waiting and hope you enjoy! Chapter 6 coming soon!!!!
We sat there for almost an eternity. Or so it had felt. I can't believe I let it all out.I had cried and sat there vulnerable to his warmth..his love.his passion.as he slowly gathered me into his arms as I sunk into his chest, hearing his longed heartbeat. He treated me like a doll. A porcelain doll that, if fallen from the highest shelf of its place, would fall upon the floor and shatter into a million pieces. Maybe I was that doll. And I had fallen..but he dove just in time to save me within his warm arms of the creator. I couldn't move. I couldn't understand anything..everything hurt. Why is this happening to me? I can't figure out this life that you have given me, I don't understand why I still breathe or why I dream awake. Why must the sorrow seek in through out my heart and stain my soul? Why must the white bird be shot down by the hunter which care d and nurtured him to health as the young? I shake my head. This needs to stop. I feel as my head were to explode. I can't do this..I feel these tears coming..not again...god.please..not again...
He kept me in his arms..how long was this to last? How long would it take me to gather myself and stand for what I truly am..or am I destined to sit and wait for another to pick me up..maybe that one was Seifer. Maybe he was the hunter and I was that dove..he shot me down to see how I survived and now he has come to nurture the one he created... No that isn't me. I won't allow it..or had it already happened. I sigh and drop my composure. I needed to stop.but really. I had to sit and ask myself.would I fall back to him just like that? Could I? Even after all that he has put me through. I close my eyes tighter. What about Quistis? What about her feelings and the beach..how could I forget all this time....My mind speaks of me being selfish...But is that the right word to be replaced just by such confusion. Its funny people only see the outside and take all t he rest of it for granted. I did that once..but look at where I am now...seriously..
I couldn't stop this insanity that lived dormant within my soul. This was my burden...but it needed to spring free. Seifer broke my silence. He placed his finger upon my lower chin and lifted my face to face his. He smiled at me, staring with those jaded eyes...they were what they did. I stared blankly..what was I to do? The next moment I felt as if a dream. Reality no longer existed and I was alone..besides Seifer. I think I smiled back at him.possibly not visible but it might have left some sort of trace because it lead to actions. I had no control. His warm rose petal colored lips touched mine and a rush went over me.it swept me away.I couldn't explain the feeling if I had to. Geez I hated words. The next minute I found myself upon the floor, pinned down gently by the older blonde above me. This couldn't be good..and the thing about this..I'm not doing anything to stop him....I can't!
He went too far. My shirt was unbuttoned for I never wore my usual attire lately. I had worn cargos for pants and button shirts. I tried to shuffle out from under him. He had the advantage. I dared not to open my eyes. I didn't want to be conscious of what was happening nor did I want to see it. But my actions didn't want to listen. I opened slowly and saw him leaning over me. He trailed his finger slowly down my neck and then down my chest making the shirt sink lower almost off my body. He stopped. Between my left lower collar bone and my sternum. He froze, I knew. He found something..a souvenir..I guess that's what you could call it. His eyes look up at me with disgust, or maybe even a fear to ask what it had come from. He finally backed off. I quickly gathered myself, crossing my shirt and covering what he had seen. A scar. That very scar in which he had given me. I looked at him. He stared blankly at the spot that was now covered by my shirt, which was held shut by my hands and arms. He looked at me with a sort of question pasted on his face..then our silence was broken.he spoke.
"Squall..I..I didn't do that..did I?" He waited. I looked at him again, I analyzed him for once. Like I used to when I was so found of his features. Guess I still am. I pierce into his eyes and he stands tall now. I stand as well. I won't be weak. I'm tired of it. I nod off slowly. Then I place my daggers to him again. He backs off. I can't take this anymore..its getting old. I hate to be the toy, I don't want to feel used...I am not to be abused. I am a person and I do have feelings..that's the end...
Those thoughts stuck in my head as I left without another word or glance. He dared not to follow. I guess he understood. The time would come when I would face this problem and that time would come soon. And when it did..I would be waiting and ready...
Thanks for reading this everyone who commented, you guys rock! I'm so happy that this is going good. My computer hasn't been working lately and I couldn't update these chapters but here they are and I'm trying to get this stupid security lock off of my computer so I can update quicker! Thank you all again for waiting and hope you enjoy! Chapter 6 coming soon!!!!