Chapter Eleven: Furious Angels

For hours Ganya and his healers worked on Cali. He did everything within his power to help her, but it soon became clear that it would not be enough. From where I sat a little way off from them as Ganya had ordered, I could see very little. I guessed that that was the point. At last I gave up trying to see what was going on and rested my head in my hands, giving in to my grief.

Several minutes later I felt a fist connect with the back of my head. I rolled with the punch and stood. It was Tyssa.
"Why don't you just kill her now and get it over with?" she shouted at me. Hallath tried to hold her back but she shook him off.

"Tyssa, no, you don't understand..." She didn't listen and began punching and hitting me. I accepted the barrage and came closer, catching her wrists in my hands. She finally gave up and her whole body went limp. I caught her as she fell and began sobbing on my shoulder. Hallath sat down silently beside us. The sound of Tyssa's grief only deepened my own and we wept together, two friends mourning the possible loss of the third. No tears came from Hallath, however, and when I asked him about it later he said that he had been too shocked to grieve, and that he refused to believe that Cali could die like this.

The three of us sat together awaiting news of our friend's fate. At last, after several more hours, Ganya stood. The other healers I saw, were bandaging the wound as he approached us. We all stood.

"Is she alright?" Tyssa was the first to speak. Ganya looked on us with sympathy before answering.
"She will heal," he said carefully.
"But..." Hallath prodded.

"But I couldn't get all the poison," Ganya finished. "Perhaps if I had gotten here sooner, things might be different, but-"
I know he went on, explaining what had happened, but I didn't hear. I felt as if my whole body had fallen numb, and I was momentarily cut off from the world and all my senses. The one thought going through my mind was that it was all my fault. I was there when she was struck down. I could have helped her but I didn't know how. However, I thought in my despair, if I hadn't gotten her angry in the first place, she wouldn't have come here alone, and she would have been armed and able to defend herself. I wished wryly for Tyssa to start hitting me again. I gradually came back to myself as Ganya's voice grabbed my attention. "...it may take days, months, or even several years, but eventually she will die." That was it then. I had killed her. It was all my fault. Slowly, Hallath turned away and went back to where we had been sitting. Ganya turned to me.
"I am sorry," he said, "There is nothing more I can do." I hugged Tyssa as she wept bitterly on my shoulder.

I looked over at Cali and saw that her face was ghostly white. She already looked dead, save for her slow, shallow breathing. Then, very gradually, like a pot of cold water beginning to boil, I felt the rage building inside me. I saw before me the horrible image of the Uruk that did this to her and the anger swelled. I decided in that moment that he would pay. I would find him and he would pay. I glanced over at Hallath and saw the same thoughts written darkly on his face also. He nodded to me. I looked to Tyssa.

"You coming?" I didn't have to say where; she already knew. She nodded and drew her sword, wiping away a tear with her sleeve. Hallath came over and drew his bow and together the three of us headed into the woods.

Of what happened next I remember very little. What I do know was that we somehow found the Orc's camp with the aid of Hallath's tracking skills. They were settled just outside the southern borders of the forest in a small camp of about forty Uruks. The three of us scanned the area, assessing the threat from inside the tree line.

Near the center of the camp I saw a large orc by the fire holding the small pendant. He held it up like a trophy and several others clambered to grab it. The larger orc barked something at the others and stood, tucking the precious pendant in a front pocket. Beside me I heard Tyssa whisper.
"Lindir, isn't that-" I nodded slowly and her question died away. I drew my sword. The rage was now white-hot within me at the sight of that beautiful pendant in the beast's cursed paw. Tyssa and Hallath also drew their weapons.
"None escape alive," I said. I pointed to Cali's attacker with my sword. "That one is mine."

The next hour was a blur of blood and steel. The only thing I remember clearly was watching those horrible red eyes close as the life drained out of my victim. I then searched him and held up the stolen pendant- mission accomplished; but my anger was not sated. I looked down at the dead orc at my feet and with one swift stroke I severed its head with my sword.
We slew all forty Orcs that night, the three of us. Consumed by our anger and hatred none could touch us. We were ruthless and efficient, and in a very real way we became Orcs ourselves for that hour. I remember when it was over, Tyssa, Hallath and I regrouped, and only then did the reality of what we'd done set in. I looked around us at the camp, dead Orcs everywhere, and knew the truth- we had become no better than they were. I saw it also in Tyssa's eyes as she looked at the front of her tunic, stained black. Hallath spoke first.

"We should get cleaned up," he said, "head back to camp."

Morning was just dawning as we stumbled back into the camp. The three of us were exhausted from the fight and the long trek home. On the way back we had washed our clothes and our blades of the Orcs' blood. I remember cleaning the chain and pendant, stained black with blood, in the stream and thinking about how trivial it all was. We had just slaughtered forty Orcs to retrieve a small piece of silver barely worth a night's meal at an inn. I felt horrible for doing it, not because we had killed the Orcs, but because I knew that all three of us had enjoyed it.
After we cleaned up, we made a pact. No one would know of our mission, not even Cali. But, as it turned out, there are always some stains that no amount of water can wipe away.

We split up when we got back, each going on to their own rest. I headed over to where Cali had been taken and fell to my knees beside her. She was sleeping, and I saw that some of the color had returned to her face. I took out the pendant from my pocket and carefully fastened it around her neck.
"Look, Cali," I whispered, "I found your pendant." I kissed her forehead and only then saw the small smile on her face. She opened her eyes.

"Where was it?" she asked. I knew it was a loaded question. It was extremely difficult for me to keep anything from her, but at least I made a valliant effort.
"In the woods," I said with every ounce of sincerity I owned. Her smile turned to a smirk and I knew I had failed.
"Right," she said, "In the woods."

The next few days were terribly difficult for everyone. Ganya barely ever left Cali's side, and was deeply concerned as to the effect the poison would have on her. He said the wound itself was healing as it should, but Cali was extremely sick and had repeated seizures.
Cali herself seemed to be in good spirits, considering. Tyssa spent much of her waking hours with her and I visited often as well. I spent most of my time with her asking forgiveness, which she laughed off and said "we're both to blame for it, Lindir. I should be begging your forgiveness."

Ganya kept her in the woods, saying it was too dangerous to move her until the wound had healed. Nevertheless, she became worried for you and at last sent me to Imladris. It was important that someone report our activities anyhow, and you would be worrying if we were so much as an hour late. So I went.

"I want you to stay with her, Lindir," Cali said to me when I went to see her. "I would feel much better knowing that you were there with her." I nodded and rose. "Lindir," Cali took my arm with a surprisingly strong grip and pulled me close to her. "Don't tell Mélanyë. I don't want her to know that her mother could d-" she stopped and struggled with the word. I nodded gravely and left.

My small company and I arrived in Imladris several days later. You were busy with Norín in the bakery and so Elrond was able to debrief me before the more difficult questions began. Elrond accepted the news with great sadness and Elrohir turned away and left the room. Elladan comforted his father with a hand on his shoulder.

"How could this have happened," Elrond said quietly. It wasn't a question, it was a lament. I had told him everything. The argument, the orc slaying, everything. Besides Tyssa, Hallath and myself, Elrond and his sons were the only ones who ever knew about it. At last he waved to me that I could go. I left his chambers, thinking that I could have a few moments to prepare myself before I spoke to you, when I ran right into you.

"Lindir?" I'll never forget that innocent look on your face. Tears sprang uncontrollably to my eyes and I looked away. "Lindir? Where's ammë?"

I wanted desperately to tell you the truth, but I had promised Cali. All the same I feared that if I so much as turned to look at you the truth would slip out faster than I could keep it from you. At last, gathering my courage, I turned. Quickly I knelt and hugged you so I wouldn't have to look into those innocent eyes of yours. I squeezed tightly and began to tell my tale.
"She's alright, Mélanyë, She'll be home soon."