Chapter 6: Changes.
Through the Ice.
I left. I couldn't go back, even as much as I may have wanted to. I wasn't running away...Oh no..you can definitely bet on that. I'll be back, I just need time to sort these things out. I'm going through too many changes...too many all at once. There isn't an escape this time..I have to do this..I have to breathe..I have to be set free from this torment. I will..
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything.
But I don't know where I am.
I was walking around..on that very same beach. I was lost...I'm scared..As much as I would hate to admit, it's cold and dark out here. And there isn't anywhere left to go. What do I do? The breeze hits my face and makes me shiver. I look out into the dark abyss.
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted,
And nobody understands.
I drop to the floor. I can't do this anymore. I couldn't move. I look down at the now wet sand as tiny droplets left my cheek. Why was this happening? It was all my fault. Mom said to always stick by yourself..that way when they leave.like dad did..everything would be ok and you could go on...without having to be hurt. No one can fathom the pain I ingest everyday. No one can understand this tortured soul..and should they never have to endure what I ever did. Everything hurts..the world grows darker..
I'm tryin' hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
there's no one here to talk to
and the pain inside is making me num.
I can't feel anything, and I'm all alone. My breath is short, maybe..hopefully, this could be the end. I don't want to go on. How could I? Do I have something to live for? Or am I just here as a toy for people to use and then to get bored and throw me away. Why can't I rid them from my dreams...?
I try to hold this, under control
they can't help me
'Cause no one knows
They all try..but how can they when they can't feel what I do? Words are no use in a world with such stupidity and ignorance. I can't stand this. Why must people push to the limit? Why can't they just leave you alone? Is that ever too much to ask? I hold my head down. This is giving me a headache..
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
This world is horrible. It's everything but filled with love and beauty. And for the people who have both take it all for granted so why would you bother to give it to them? They would just use it. But even if you gave it to those who need it, they would abuse it as well. So what's the point in living life? Is there anything that words can't do? Hey I have one..express. They can't say anything. Words are to shy to show their true meaning, or others are just too blind to see it all. Words are just words.these days they have lost all their meaning. So all in all..there is no meaning to anything is there?
I'm feelin' weak and weary walkin' through this world alone
Everything I say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say but now I got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world
Why must life be this difficult? Or does it shun down on one person? Seems like it. What's the matter with hiding behind a mask? What's wrong with being different? So what if I don't talk much, who cares about anything? I swear people can't just leave me alone. What the hell is wrong with this world? And even if I had something to say, who can you trust? I can't talk to anyone...I may be afraid but that's not the reason. I don't want to tell anyone. Words can't make them feel what I feel. And heaven forbid that someone felt what I felt. I'm surprised I got this damn far. My mind is clouded, part with anger and sadness..and yet I still don't know what to do.
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm blind and shaking
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm falling apart now I feel it
But I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes
I left. I couldn't go back, even as much as I may have wanted to. I wasn't running away...Oh no..you can definitely bet on that. I'll be back, I just need time to sort these things out. I'm going through too many changes...too many all at once. There isn't an escape this time..I have to do this..I have to breathe..I have to be set free from this torment. I will..
I'm not supposed to be scared of anything.
But I don't know where I am.
I was walking around..on that very same beach. I was lost...I'm scared..As much as I would hate to admit, it's cold and dark out here. And there isn't anywhere left to go. What do I do? The breeze hits my face and makes me shiver. I look out into the dark abyss.
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted,
And nobody understands.
I drop to the floor. I can't do this anymore. I couldn't move. I look down at the now wet sand as tiny droplets left my cheek. Why was this happening? It was all my fault. Mom said to always stick by yourself..that way when they leave.like dad did..everything would be ok and you could go on...without having to be hurt. No one can fathom the pain I ingest everyday. No one can understand this tortured soul..and should they never have to endure what I ever did. Everything hurts..the world grows darker..
I'm tryin' hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
there's no one here to talk to
and the pain inside is making me num.
I can't feel anything, and I'm all alone. My breath is short, maybe..hopefully, this could be the end. I don't want to go on. How could I? Do I have something to live for? Or am I just here as a toy for people to use and then to get bored and throw me away. Why can't I rid them from my dreams...?
I try to hold this, under control
they can't help me
'Cause no one knows
They all try..but how can they when they can't feel what I do? Words are no use in a world with such stupidity and ignorance. I can't stand this. Why must people push to the limit? Why can't they just leave you alone? Is that ever too much to ask? I hold my head down. This is giving me a headache..
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
This world is horrible. It's everything but filled with love and beauty. And for the people who have both take it all for granted so why would you bother to give it to them? They would just use it. But even if you gave it to those who need it, they would abuse it as well. So what's the point in living life? Is there anything that words can't do? Hey I have one..express. They can't say anything. Words are to shy to show their true meaning, or others are just too blind to see it all. Words are just words.these days they have lost all their meaning. So all in all..there is no meaning to anything is there?
I'm feelin' weak and weary walkin' through this world alone
Everything I say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say but now I got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world
Why must life be this difficult? Or does it shun down on one person? Seems like it. What's the matter with hiding behind a mask? What's wrong with being different? So what if I don't talk much, who cares about anything? I swear people can't just leave me alone. What the hell is wrong with this world? And even if I had something to say, who can you trust? I can't talk to anyone...I may be afraid but that's not the reason. I don't want to tell anyone. Words can't make them feel what I feel. And heaven forbid that someone felt what I felt. I'm surprised I got this damn far. My mind is clouded, part with anger and sadness..and yet I still don't know what to do.
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes
I'm blind and shaking
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated save me
Now I'm falling apart now I feel it
But I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes