CHAPTER FORTY-THREE: CONFESSIONS
Tuesday, 16th March 1999
1am New York Time
Faith felt her stomach and heart completely drop. Her thoughts were going at whirlwind speed, and she felt as though she was about to through up.
"What?" she whispered.
Faith's Watcher, Jeremy Marshall stepped forward to stand beside his Slayer.
"Faith, we must continue on," he urged her. He knew of the other Slayer by reputation only, and he hadn't been kept informed of the situation of either her rehabilitation or her termination. He didn't want to be hearing the information from a vampire of all people instead of hearing about it from a trusted member of Council.
He also didn't like to see his Slayer so upset about something. He had been trained in the strict Council ways and believed that a Slayer was nothing more than the Council's instrument as a weapon against evil. Seeing her have a personal attachment to anything was not something he encouraged.
"When?" Faith demanded.
"The trial was at nine o'clock," Angel replied. "She refused to confess. They killed her."
Faith couldn't hold it in any longer. She fell to her knees and threw up the contents of her stomach. Her Watcher took a step back, and Angel knelt beside her.
"Did she deserve it Faith?" the vampire whispered softly. "Did she deserve to die?"
"No, no!" Faith cried, tears welling in her eyes. She hadn't cried since she was eight years old when her mother had died. But hearing that Buffy was dead was making the tears begin to fall.
"This is what you wanted though, isn't it Faith?" Angel continued.
"No, never! I…I didn't want this."
"You knew what would happen when you went to Wesley and told him about the murder though," Angel said softly, his voice oddly gentle. He knew enough about people to know that yelling accusations would only make her defensive. The quiet accusations were getting under Faith's skin though and he knew it.
"I…I didn't know…" Faith whispered.
"Was it worth it Faith?" Angel prodded.
Faith swallowed hard and looked up at the vampire, her eyes steely with false bravado. "You don't know anything about it."
"I know you feel guilty," Angel replied simply.
Faith hated this feeling. She hated the inner turmoil she was feeling. She hated the feeling of guilt and complete sorrow that she had been a part of the death of a completely innocent person who had been a friend to her. Killing Allan Finch had hurt, but this was completely tragic to Faith.
"Don't you?" Angel asked.
"No," Faith replied, lying through her teeth.
Angel wouldn't let it rest though.
"Why do you feel guilty Faith?" he questioned.
"I don't."
"Why do you feel guilty?" he asked, his voice rising slightly.
"I don't!"
"Why Faith?!"
"Because it should have been me!" she snapped. "Because they killed her and it's my fault!"
Angel stepped back, satisfied that he'd finally gotten through. He needed to hear more than what she'd admitted though.
"But you said she was guilty," Angel said. "Why would you feel guilty?"
"Because I killed him dammit!" Faith yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Jeremy Marshall looked down at his fallen Slayer, feeling sickened. He'd known that the girl hadn't been Slayer material since he'd started training her. She had potential however, and he had been trying to use that as much as possible, but there was definitely something about her that was unstable. Seeing her now on her knees and in tears was something that Marshall had never expected to see.
"It was an accident I swear!" Faith continued. "He shouldn't have been in that alley!"
"So Buffy didn't kill him then?" Angel asked. "You were the one who killed Allan Finch?"
"Yes, okay! I killed him! I killed him, and now he's dead, and…and the Council killed B, and that's my fault too, and…and…"
Faith couldn't continue. She was sobbing too hard, and it was hurting her as she tried to take in huge gulps of air. Angel sighed and smiled a bittersweet smile. He hadn't been sure that the angle he'd taken would work, but it seemed that it had worked like a charm.
"She's not dead," Angel admitted quietly.
Faith barely heard him, but eventually the meaning of his words seeped through. She looked up at him through her tear-filled eyes, and felt everything click into place.
The vampire watched the myriad of emotions wash quickly over Faith's face. Relief about Buffy's continued existence, confusion about how it was possible and eventually the anger that Angel had expected.
"You played me!" Faith yelled angrily. The effect was somewhat ruined by the hiccup that happened halfway through her accusation.
Angel nodded unrepentantly.
"They're going to kill her in a matter of hours if we didn't prove her innocence," Angel explained. "The Council wanted her to confess or else they really would kill her."
Faith's eyes narrowed. "So, what? You gonna drag me to the Council, get me to confess in front of a panel of tweed wearing tight-asses and let them execute me?"
Angel shook his head. "Not at all. You're going to confess to the Watchers, and then you're going to continue being trained by your Watcher. Away from Sunnydale."
Faith looked at him suspiciously.
"And what if I don't come with you?" she demanded angrily.
Angel chuckled and pulled out a black recording device from his pocket. He rewound the tape for a few seconds before hitting play.
"Because I killed him dammit!"
The recording of Faith's voice rang clearly through the air and Faith felt her world begin to spin again. She shook her head angrily. She didn't like the feelings that were coursing through her. She hated the uncertainty that she'd felt earlier. She hated the guilt, and the pain and the loss that she was feeling. And now that she knew that Buffy was alive, the only thing she wanted to do was see the other Slayer in person and see for herself that she truly was alive.
She sighed deeply and looked up at the soulled vampire.
"Take me to them."
Angel removed a white handkerchief from his pocket and unwrapped a small silver thimble from the cloth. He checked his watch before taking Faith's hand.
Faith's Watcher could only watch in complete confusion as his Slayer and the soulled vampire disappeared from the cemetery, leaving him alone in the darkness.
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