Chapter Four



"I apologize, Sub-commander, but I'm afraid I'm a bit more tired than I'd realized. Do you mind if we return to sickbay?"

T'Pol nodded. "Of course not. Do you require any assistance?"

Meesa smiled warmly. "I'll make it just fine."

The two women turned around and walked slowly back up the long corridor.

"You're still worried about him, aren't you?"

T'Pol arched an eyebrow. "I don't recall giving you permission to read my thoughts," she replied evenly.

Meesa chuckled good-naturedly. "I'm not reading your thoughts, Sub- commander," she said. "Call it a woman's intuition."

"Then I apologize."

"He has a very strong mind, you know. And he has this amazing ability to experience a vast assortment of emotions, some I've never felt before. Do all humans?"

"They are a highly emotional species. Mr. Tucker is a prime example of that."

"I found being in his mind quite exhilarating. I wish Datorians could feel life as he does."

"Then you are like Vulcans? You suppress your emotions?" asked T'Pol.

Meesa shook her head. "We have simply not experienced some of them. For instance, I sensed something from Commander Tucker that I have never sensed before in a Datorian."

"Indeed," replied T'Pol. "May I ask what it was you experienced?"

"An odd warmth and that description does not do the feeling justice. I sensed it most around his images of Captain Archer and---and of you, Sub- commander."

T'Pol swallowed. "Mr. Tucker considers us his friends, Meesa. It is quite logical that you would sense that in him."

"But what he feels for you is much different than what he feels for the captain. Not stronger but different. Why is that?"

"I don't know," T'Pol replied uneasily. "Perhaps you should ask him."

"I'm sorry, Sub-commander. I'm just prattling on while you probably don't understand anymore than I do what these humans feel."

"There is no need to apologize."

Meesa cleared her throat. "If I may be a nosey old woman, do your feelings for the captain and the commander differ?"

T'Pol hesitated. "I am loyal to both," she replied simply.

"Ah, loyalty I can understand. Datorians are a very loyal species. But we have varying degrees of loyalty. Is that the same for Vulcans?"

T'Pol looked down at the elder. "Datorians, it seems, are also a highly curious species."

Meesa laughed. "Say no more, Sub-commander."

The two walked on in silence.

When they arrived outside the sickbay doors, T'Pol stopped and turned to Meesa. "What was it like touching his mind?" she asked.

Meesa smiled kindly. "Like I said before, it was exhilarating."

T'Pol nodded then lifted her hand to press the entry pad. She stopped when Meesa took her other hand in both of hers. Suddenly T'Pol found herself surrounded by clouds of breathtaking colors. She felt warm and completely safe. Then powerful feelings of affection and contentment washed over her, taking the very breath from her lungs. She immediately knew that this was the commander and that she was experiencing his feelings for her.

T'Pol blinked.

"Now you have touched his mind, child," Meesa said gently. "And it is this old woman's hope that you feel the same about him."



Jon was still standing at Trip's bedside when the doors slid open to reveal T'Pol and Meesa.

He looked at them in surprise. "You weren't gone long. Everything okay?"

"Yes, Captain," replied Meesa. "I just think it's best if I return to my sleeping pod. Would you and the doctor assist me?"

"Of course we will," said Phlox.

Meesa turned to T'Pol who stood behind her. "Take care, child. And remember what I've shown you."

T'Pol nodded. "Thank you," she replied softly.

Jon puzzled at the odd exchange as he moved forward to take Meesa's arm. T'Pol walked over to stand next to Trip.

"Come now," coaxed Phlox and he took Meesa's other arm. "Lets get you settled, shall we?"

"Such kind young gentlemen," remarked Meesa with a wide grin.

Together, Jon and Phlox helped the elder into her special bed.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did for Trip, Meesa," said the captain. "For all us."

Meesa smiled then sobered. "I'm sorry Zeekiel almost took him from you. I honestly had no idea he was capable of such repugnancy."

"Well Trip is fine now thanks to you so that's all that really matters."

"I agree, Meesa," said Phlox. "We owe you a great deal."

"Nonsense, Doctor but I thank you anyway."

Meesa laid back and rested her head on her silken pillow. "Good luck on your journey, Captain. And please remember that there are people near to you who care about you very much. Please keep them close and draw from their strength for they will give it to you freely. You need not face each day alone."

Jon started slightly in surprise then nodded his head, completely lost for words.

Meesa looked up at Phlox. "And my good doctor," she smiled. "You have an insatiable need to help others. Please remember that sometimes it is best to let them find their own way naturally."

Phlox spluttered indignantly.

Meesa reached up and patted his hand kindly. "You will understand in a very short time the meaning behind my words, Doctor," she explained.

The Denobulan turned around to look at where Trip lay quietly sleeping with T'Pol watching over him then he looked back at the elder. "I will heed your advice, young lady."

Meesa's purple eyes shone with her merriment. "Our paths will not cross again and for that I am saddened. There is so much I'd like to know about all of you. But thanks to your Commander Tucker, I have at least had a glimpse. Thank him for me, would you please?"

Jon nodded. "You got it. Goodbye, Meesa." He carefully lowered the clear cover over the sleeping pod as Phlox fingered the life support controls. Slowly, the elder Datorian fell asleep, a contented smile on her lips.



Trip squeezed his eyes shut then opened them to look at the specs again. He'd read and then re-read Malcolm's proposed upgrades but it seemed none of the words or numbers were reaching his brain. He put his elbow on his desk and kneaded his forehead with his fingertips.

Then his door chime chirped. "Come in," he called.

T'Pol entered the room. "Commander," she greeted evenly. "Its 1800 hours."

Trip stared at her blankly.

"Dinner with the captain? I thought perhaps we could walk together."

"Oh, that's right," Trip said. He stood from his chair. "I was just going over Malcolm's proposals, thought maybe we could go over them later since we never got the chance before."

"That would be fine, Mr. Tucker."

"Good," replied Trip. "Well, I guess we shouldn't keep the captain waiting."

Side by side they left the engineer's quarters.

"Too bad you couldn't go down to Datoria IV today, T'Pol. It was amazing."

"Our scans showed it to be quite desolate."

"Well there was no plant life or even animal life for that matter. Only kilometers of sand but it was this soft white color and the sky was light purple." Trip shook his head at the memory.

"Were the Datorians pleased to see Meesa?"

Trip nodded. "But not so pleased to get Zeekiel's body. Lonnya, the young woman who greeted us, said that he'd be burned then his ashes scattered on the midnight winds. She also said that no one created in their Great Hall would ever bear the name Zeekiel again."

"It appears they took his crime against you quite seriously," said T'Pol.

"They sure did. But they welcomed Meesa with open arms," Trip replied. "Did you know that she'll remain in her Timbarra for the rest of her life? Lonnya says that she'll experience fantastic dreams. She also said that everything Zeekiel told us about the elders being a threat was a lie. Their gifts simply weaken as they near their death. They don't become dangerous or crazy at all."

"Meesa certainly didn't exhibit any signs of mental illness."

"No she didn't," replied the commander. "You know, thank you just didn't seem like enough after what she did for me."

T'Pol glanced up at him. "She was content with our gratitude, Mr. Tucker."

"I know but from what the doc tells me, I probably would've lost my sanity if she hadn't stepped in to help."

"For a short time, perhaps," replied T'Pol.

Trip smiled. "You think I could've fought my way back without her?"

"Of that I have no doubt, Commander."

"You have more faith in me than I do, T'Pol."

The sub-commander glanced up at Trip again. "Apparently so," she replied.

Trip cleared his throat. "Thanks."

They continued to the mess hall in companionable silence.



Jon sat back in his chair and regarded his two senior officers. It felt good being in their company again at the dinner table. He thought he could probably count the number of times they'd dined together since they'd entered the Expanse on one hand.

The steward came in and cleared away their dishes then poured Jon a cup of coffee. The captain was surprised when Trip declined his favorite hot beverage.

"No coffee, Trip? You sure you're alright?"

Trip grinned. "I've been trying not to drink it too late in the evening, makes it harder to get to sleep," he replied.

Jon nodded. "You got any plans tonight?"

"Yeah, T'Pol and I are going to review Malcolm's weapons proposals. Why?"

"No reason," Jon replied. He took a sip of his coffee then put the cup down. "You know, maybe I should stop drinking this stuff so late, too."

"Can't hurt, sir."

"Are you ready, Commander?" asked T'Pol as she rose from her chair.

Trip looked at Jon, an odd expression on his face.

"Commander?" said T'Pol again.

"Uh, yeah, I'm ready." Trip stood then smiled at Jon. "Night, sir."

"Good night, Trip."

"Captain," said the sub-commander with a nod of her head.

"Good night, T'Pol."

Jon watched the two leave then stared at the door after it closed behind them. He sighed then stood and moved to the big view port. He didn't know quite when it had happened, but somewhere over the past few months, he'd lost his close connection with Trip. Jon couldn't recall the last conversation they'd shared when they hadn't discussed the mission or their jobs. And how could he not have seen that Trip was still clinging to his grief like a safety line.

The captain shook his head. Maybe Meesa had been wrong. Maybe he'd already driven away the people who cared about him, driven away Trip. Even though he was tired of facing the mission alone, maybe that was all that was left for him.

Jon heard the door slide open but didn't turn to acknowledge it. He knew it would only be the steward returning to clean up.

"Cap'n?"

Jon turned to see Trip standing in the doorway. "Trip? Did you forget something?"

Trip shook his head. "Nah. T'Pol and I decided Malcolm's proposals could wait."

Jon inhaled a shaky breath then smiled. "Lieutenant Reed won't be too please to hear that."

The commander grinned. "He'll get over it. Now you want to tell me what's on your mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well for one thing, you haven't asked me if I had plans for the night in months," Trip began.

Jon nodded. "I know and I'm sorry, Trip."

"Ah, don't be, Cap'n. You've had a lot on your mind."

Jon pursed his lips and nodded again.

"So?" Trip pressed. "What's bugging you? And don't bother telling me nothing because I won't buy it."

Jon smiled. "Well," he began. "I've mapped a trajectory for that Xindi ship carrying the Kemosite. There are five planets---."

Trip shook his head. "I didn't give up an evening with T'Pol to talk shop, Cap'n."

"An evening with T'Pol, huh? Is there something you'd like to tell me?" Jon watched in amusement as his friend's face turned red. "Trip?"

"I'm not here to talk about me, I'm here to talk about you."

Jon laughed. "Maybe we both need that coffee then."

Trip grinned. "I'll get the steward, ask him to bring in a full pot." He turned to the wall comm.

"Trip?"

The engineer turned.

"Thanks for coming back," said Jon forcing his voice to remain steady.

Trip smiled warmly. "Thanks for wanting me to, Cap'n," he replied.



THE END