Author notes: I hope you all have had a great Christmas. I did. Happy new year! Okay, this part is very harsh towards Buffy.
Its even unfair, but that's what you get in a heated argument which gets out of control and her mother hasn't got the right facts and her own view.
*****
Buffy arrived at home. Joyce was standing in the hallway waiting for her.
Without a word Joyce walked into the room, silent. She was scared, but the speech had to be done. She had to play it careful, because the last thing she wanted was to lose her daughter.
Buffy knew that look. She had seen it only one time before, when she burned her school's gym down in LA. "Mom?"
Joyce stayed silent and standing in front of one of the seats.
Buffy followed her. "Mom?"
Her mother stared at her, silent, in thoughts. Thinking how to start this.
"Mom? What's going on. Is this about Angel?"
Her mother shook lightly her head. "No, Buffy. It's about you."
Buffy's eyes widened. "Me?"
Joyce nodded slowly. "You and your attitude."
Buffy eyes widened. "Attitude? What's wrong with my attitude?"
"Do you remember on your first day to school? How I said that I knew you were gonna make friends right away, just think positive and that I asked you not to get kicked out right away?"
Buffy remembered it all to well and nodded. "I do," she answered.
"Do you also remember that I said that I had read all about the dangers of over-nurturing?" Joyce added.
Buffy nodded. "Yes."
"Well, I didn't," she said harsh.
Buffy's eyes widened.
"I also said that you were a good girl. I meant that and still do, Buffy. Don't forget that, ever."
Buffy didn't understand a thing of what she meant and knew something was coming as she nodded. "I won't, mom."
"You know that nice foreign girl, Ampata? Do you remember what she said about you? 'I tried, but she is very stubborn,' Ampata said about you when I wished I could talk my daughter into going with her."
"Mom?"
Her mother was not letting her arguments be interrupted by any protests as she continued to build her case. "'Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?' I asked to your harsh comment. 'No, but I'm the one getting single-white-femaled here,' was your answer. I damn myself that I didn't act to that."
Buffy wanted to object, Faith had threatened her as her other continued. "Why didn't you kill Angel when he had lost his soul? Have you ever apologized to Giles that Jenny had been killed by him?" Not waiting for an answer she continued, her anger rising. "You're obsessed with Angel, Buffy. And no one is able to complain about it, 'cause you are *the* Slayer. They are human. Then you wait and wait, until it gets so much out of control that you have to push him into hell."
"How do you know?" Buffy quickly responded as she knew who was behind this.
"That doesn't matter, Buffy. Then you leave town, because you take my emotional outburst serious. Are you able to tell when someone is serious or not?"
"Who told you that? . . . Faith! It's Faith, isn't it? She told you that."
Joyce blood boiled from anger. "Don't you dare to talk about Faith like that! Do you know how desperate Faith has been trying to be part of the group!? The loneliness she has gone through. And then I have to find out that she is staying in a flee bag motel. That's not a good place to be for a teenager. Can you understand how horrible it must have been for her?"
She was so furious. "Have you ever asked about her past? She had been hit by her mother, raped by frat-boys. Her father . . ."
Shocked by her mother's outburst she tried to defend herself. ". . . I tried to help her, Mom."
"Yes, when you finally decided to help her you pushed her over to the Mayor. She just didn't fit into your web."
"What!?" Buffy snapped.
Joyce forced herself to calm down. "You know, Xander and Angel tried to help her. I know that you tried to warn Xander. How well do you know Xander, Buffy?"
Buffy gave her a questioning look.
"He tried, even after you had warned him. Only Angel could understand that and followed him. He knew that Xander would try to offer his help to Faith."
"She *did* try to strangle him," Buffy tried to defend her position.
"He knew that there were risks, Buffy. Faith thought that he wanted to impress himself in your eyes. *Your* eyes, the high queen who pushed away a fellow Slayer. You are so obsessed with your job, Buffy, that you won't and can't listen to your friends. They will do every thing for you when *you* ask them. But if they protest then the house for 'little Miss Perfect' is too small."
"But it is my job, not their's."
"Yes, it's your job. But that doesn't make you the center of it, you are not the law."
"What!?" #What the fuck did Faith tell her?#
"You have always been a trouble maker, Buffy. And there is only so much you can excuse with you being a Slayer."
Buffy just stared at her in disbelief.
Joyce sighed. It was so hard for her, she was emotionally rushed out. Learning the truth about the situation and the dangers her own daughter's behavior bring to the group forced her to act like this. Internally Joyce hardened even more as she forced herself to get the worst out. "You know why dad left us?" she asked with her eyes wide open, boring into Buffy's soul.
Buffy stared back at her, not knowing what to say as she clearly remembered her worst nightmare: her parents argument back in LA.
*****
#*From the bathroom she heard her parents talk in the hall as their conversation escalates into an argument.
"Did she say where she was?" Hanks asked Joyce.
"She was with Tyler."
"I don't want her seeing him anymore, period!" he snapped.
"You're overreacting, dear," Joyce said with a gentle tone.
Buffy stared at herself in the mirror sadly and faces her own tears.
"Don't do that! Don't talk to me like I'm a kid!" Hank snapped again.
"I don't! Just forget it!"
"Just because you can't discipline her, I have to be the ogre!"
"I am not having this conversation again! Alright?" Joyce snapped back.*#
*****
The memories were enough to let the first tears roll over her cheeks.
Joyce knew that Buffy had heard the fight of her parents over her. "Tears won't help this time, Buffy. Hank was right, I protected you too much. The world doesn't revolve around you. You aren't above the law, you are a teenage girl who happens to be a Slayer. It has to stop now. Otherwise, people will die again."
"Again?" Buffy asked between snobs.
"Even with two Slayers you thought everything was about you. It got Kendra killed and I don't have to mention that you endangered the whole group by it."
#Kendra?# Buffy thought while she remembered how Angelus tricked her into his trap.
"Mom, I know it was a mistake . . ." Buffy finally admitted one of her faults.
"You were so self-centered that you didn't see the trap, Buffy. It was easy for Angelus to make use of it."
"Angel?" she asked wondering how her mother knew.
"You know what Angel told me? He knew why your dad had left us. He had heard the conversation. Apparently a balance demon called 'the' Whistler had him listen to my argument with dad. Angel had promised to help you. He was honest with me, he did it because he wanted to become someone."
Buffy eyes widened, she never knew. "You spoke with him?" she asked incredulously.
"I didn't have to tell Angel that he and you are from different worlds. I have been young, Buffy. I know a young woman in love. Angel is all you can see of tomorrow. He understood that, Buffy. Someone has to make the harsh decisions. He cared enough, that's why he was the one to make it; he is going to leave Sunnydale."
"You asked him too!?" Buffy asked furious.
A tear rolled over Joyce cheek as she had to defend herself again. "Don't you dare think I don't love you!" she snapped back. "You are all I have left, Buffy. You're everything to me," tears rolled over her cheek.
Buffy stared at her, still furious, but also sad.
"You want me to be a perfect mother, you want a perfect boyfriend and perfect friends *all* for yourself and rivalry you can't stand. I didn't forget about Ted, y'know."
"Ted was a robot!" Buffy said furious again.
Joyce sighed, wiping away some of her tears. She knew Buffy had reason to distrust him, but she was jealous. But how can you tell something like that to her? "He was not human. But your Slayer senses never could pick him out as dangerous. And if so there was no reason for you to kick him down like that."
Buffy knew she had make mistakes, but this was unfair: Ted had started hitting and hurting her! Self-defense was most definitely a reason. But again before she could protest, Joyce continued. "You had friends who helped you out of it. Just with all those other mistakes you have made. Jenny is dead, Kendra is dead, Faith almost evil and a murderer."
Buffy looked at ceiling asking for a bit of understanding from her mother.
"I was a teenager again, because of that candy and I had sex with Mr. Giles. You yell at me in misunderstanding, while *you* can have sex with a vampire!" Buffy's jaw dropped to the ground, but Joyce continued."Why can't you have a normal boyfriend? An animated corpse, Buffy! You know what necrophilia is?"
Buffy couldn't believe her ears as anger raised in her.
Joyce tears ran further. "I never forgot how you left me. How you ran away from me."
"You forced me to!" Buffy snapped, furious now.
"Can't you understand a desperate mother's feelings?"
"What do you mean!?"
Joyce crossed her arms and shook her head. "Do you remember that I swore that sometimes I don't know what goes on in your head?" she asked rhetorically. Joyce sighed deep. She felt forced to tell what was on her mind. She simply couldn't believe her daughter could be that egocentric. "If I didn't know better, I would think you are *autistic*. You think Xander is jealous about Angel over you. You would like to believe so, but he is not. You can't understand the horror Mr. Giles has gone through with the death of Jenny. You can't feel the emotions of Faith, never reached out a hand to help her, she was just one too many in this house . . . You can't even feel the emotions of your own mother!"
Buffy rushed out of the room in tears, slamming the door shut and running upstairs to her own room.
"Buffy!?" Joyce yelled after her as she collapsed on the couch, desperate, bursting out in tears completely.
While Joyce laid on the couch crying, knowing that it had gone out of control and that this was the last time she would see her daughter again, as the door to the room opened. Joyce felt someone sitting next to her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. It took a while before she noticed and turned her head around. Through her tears she looked in a pair of worried brown eyes. "Xander?"
Xander swollowed. "Uh, Mrs, uh, Joyce, I-I . . . I didn't leave. I-I heard the w-whole, uh, c-conversation and . . ." He was stuck in his sentence when he saw Joyce eyes widen. "I, uh, I think I w-will talk to her . . ." he said while he stood up and walked towards Buffy's room . . .
*****
Buffy arrived at home. Joyce was standing in the hallway waiting for her.
Without a word Joyce walked into the room, silent. She was scared, but the speech had to be done. She had to play it careful, because the last thing she wanted was to lose her daughter.
Buffy knew that look. She had seen it only one time before, when she burned her school's gym down in LA. "Mom?"
Joyce stayed silent and standing in front of one of the seats.
Buffy followed her. "Mom?"
Her mother stared at her, silent, in thoughts. Thinking how to start this.
"Mom? What's going on. Is this about Angel?"
Her mother shook lightly her head. "No, Buffy. It's about you."
Buffy's eyes widened. "Me?"
Joyce nodded slowly. "You and your attitude."
Buffy eyes widened. "Attitude? What's wrong with my attitude?"
"Do you remember on your first day to school? How I said that I knew you were gonna make friends right away, just think positive and that I asked you not to get kicked out right away?"
Buffy remembered it all to well and nodded. "I do," she answered.
"Do you also remember that I said that I had read all about the dangers of over-nurturing?" Joyce added.
Buffy nodded. "Yes."
"Well, I didn't," she said harsh.
Buffy's eyes widened.
"I also said that you were a good girl. I meant that and still do, Buffy. Don't forget that, ever."
Buffy didn't understand a thing of what she meant and knew something was coming as she nodded. "I won't, mom."
"You know that nice foreign girl, Ampata? Do you remember what she said about you? 'I tried, but she is very stubborn,' Ampata said about you when I wished I could talk my daughter into going with her."
"Mom?"
Her mother was not letting her arguments be interrupted by any protests as she continued to build her case. "'Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?' I asked to your harsh comment. 'No, but I'm the one getting single-white-femaled here,' was your answer. I damn myself that I didn't act to that."
Buffy wanted to object, Faith had threatened her as her other continued. "Why didn't you kill Angel when he had lost his soul? Have you ever apologized to Giles that Jenny had been killed by him?" Not waiting for an answer she continued, her anger rising. "You're obsessed with Angel, Buffy. And no one is able to complain about it, 'cause you are *the* Slayer. They are human. Then you wait and wait, until it gets so much out of control that you have to push him into hell."
"How do you know?" Buffy quickly responded as she knew who was behind this.
"That doesn't matter, Buffy. Then you leave town, because you take my emotional outburst serious. Are you able to tell when someone is serious or not?"
"Who told you that? . . . Faith! It's Faith, isn't it? She told you that."
Joyce blood boiled from anger. "Don't you dare to talk about Faith like that! Do you know how desperate Faith has been trying to be part of the group!? The loneliness she has gone through. And then I have to find out that she is staying in a flee bag motel. That's not a good place to be for a teenager. Can you understand how horrible it must have been for her?"
She was so furious. "Have you ever asked about her past? She had been hit by her mother, raped by frat-boys. Her father . . ."
Shocked by her mother's outburst she tried to defend herself. ". . . I tried to help her, Mom."
"Yes, when you finally decided to help her you pushed her over to the Mayor. She just didn't fit into your web."
"What!?" Buffy snapped.
Joyce forced herself to calm down. "You know, Xander and Angel tried to help her. I know that you tried to warn Xander. How well do you know Xander, Buffy?"
Buffy gave her a questioning look.
"He tried, even after you had warned him. Only Angel could understand that and followed him. He knew that Xander would try to offer his help to Faith."
"She *did* try to strangle him," Buffy tried to defend her position.
"He knew that there were risks, Buffy. Faith thought that he wanted to impress himself in your eyes. *Your* eyes, the high queen who pushed away a fellow Slayer. You are so obsessed with your job, Buffy, that you won't and can't listen to your friends. They will do every thing for you when *you* ask them. But if they protest then the house for 'little Miss Perfect' is too small."
"But it is my job, not their's."
"Yes, it's your job. But that doesn't make you the center of it, you are not the law."
"What!?" #What the fuck did Faith tell her?#
"You have always been a trouble maker, Buffy. And there is only so much you can excuse with you being a Slayer."
Buffy just stared at her in disbelief.
Joyce sighed. It was so hard for her, she was emotionally rushed out. Learning the truth about the situation and the dangers her own daughter's behavior bring to the group forced her to act like this. Internally Joyce hardened even more as she forced herself to get the worst out. "You know why dad left us?" she asked with her eyes wide open, boring into Buffy's soul.
Buffy stared back at her, not knowing what to say as she clearly remembered her worst nightmare: her parents argument back in LA.
*****
#*From the bathroom she heard her parents talk in the hall as their conversation escalates into an argument.
"Did she say where she was?" Hanks asked Joyce.
"She was with Tyler."
"I don't want her seeing him anymore, period!" he snapped.
"You're overreacting, dear," Joyce said with a gentle tone.
Buffy stared at herself in the mirror sadly and faces her own tears.
"Don't do that! Don't talk to me like I'm a kid!" Hank snapped again.
"I don't! Just forget it!"
"Just because you can't discipline her, I have to be the ogre!"
"I am not having this conversation again! Alright?" Joyce snapped back.*#
*****
The memories were enough to let the first tears roll over her cheeks.
Joyce knew that Buffy had heard the fight of her parents over her. "Tears won't help this time, Buffy. Hank was right, I protected you too much. The world doesn't revolve around you. You aren't above the law, you are a teenage girl who happens to be a Slayer. It has to stop now. Otherwise, people will die again."
"Again?" Buffy asked between snobs.
"Even with two Slayers you thought everything was about you. It got Kendra killed and I don't have to mention that you endangered the whole group by it."
#Kendra?# Buffy thought while she remembered how Angelus tricked her into his trap.
"Mom, I know it was a mistake . . ." Buffy finally admitted one of her faults.
"You were so self-centered that you didn't see the trap, Buffy. It was easy for Angelus to make use of it."
"Angel?" she asked wondering how her mother knew.
"You know what Angel told me? He knew why your dad had left us. He had heard the conversation. Apparently a balance demon called 'the' Whistler had him listen to my argument with dad. Angel had promised to help you. He was honest with me, he did it because he wanted to become someone."
Buffy eyes widened, she never knew. "You spoke with him?" she asked incredulously.
"I didn't have to tell Angel that he and you are from different worlds. I have been young, Buffy. I know a young woman in love. Angel is all you can see of tomorrow. He understood that, Buffy. Someone has to make the harsh decisions. He cared enough, that's why he was the one to make it; he is going to leave Sunnydale."
"You asked him too!?" Buffy asked furious.
A tear rolled over Joyce cheek as she had to defend herself again. "Don't you dare think I don't love you!" she snapped back. "You are all I have left, Buffy. You're everything to me," tears rolled over her cheek.
Buffy stared at her, still furious, but also sad.
"You want me to be a perfect mother, you want a perfect boyfriend and perfect friends *all* for yourself and rivalry you can't stand. I didn't forget about Ted, y'know."
"Ted was a robot!" Buffy said furious again.
Joyce sighed, wiping away some of her tears. She knew Buffy had reason to distrust him, but she was jealous. But how can you tell something like that to her? "He was not human. But your Slayer senses never could pick him out as dangerous. And if so there was no reason for you to kick him down like that."
Buffy knew she had make mistakes, but this was unfair: Ted had started hitting and hurting her! Self-defense was most definitely a reason. But again before she could protest, Joyce continued. "You had friends who helped you out of it. Just with all those other mistakes you have made. Jenny is dead, Kendra is dead, Faith almost evil and a murderer."
Buffy looked at ceiling asking for a bit of understanding from her mother.
"I was a teenager again, because of that candy and I had sex with Mr. Giles. You yell at me in misunderstanding, while *you* can have sex with a vampire!" Buffy's jaw dropped to the ground, but Joyce continued."Why can't you have a normal boyfriend? An animated corpse, Buffy! You know what necrophilia is?"
Buffy couldn't believe her ears as anger raised in her.
Joyce tears ran further. "I never forgot how you left me. How you ran away from me."
"You forced me to!" Buffy snapped, furious now.
"Can't you understand a desperate mother's feelings?"
"What do you mean!?"
Joyce crossed her arms and shook her head. "Do you remember that I swore that sometimes I don't know what goes on in your head?" she asked rhetorically. Joyce sighed deep. She felt forced to tell what was on her mind. She simply couldn't believe her daughter could be that egocentric. "If I didn't know better, I would think you are *autistic*. You think Xander is jealous about Angel over you. You would like to believe so, but he is not. You can't understand the horror Mr. Giles has gone through with the death of Jenny. You can't feel the emotions of Faith, never reached out a hand to help her, she was just one too many in this house . . . You can't even feel the emotions of your own mother!"
Buffy rushed out of the room in tears, slamming the door shut and running upstairs to her own room.
"Buffy!?" Joyce yelled after her as she collapsed on the couch, desperate, bursting out in tears completely.
While Joyce laid on the couch crying, knowing that it had gone out of control and that this was the last time she would see her daughter again, as the door to the room opened. Joyce felt someone sitting next to her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. It took a while before she noticed and turned her head around. Through her tears she looked in a pair of worried brown eyes. "Xander?"
Xander swollowed. "Uh, Mrs, uh, Joyce, I-I . . . I didn't leave. I-I heard the w-whole, uh, c-conversation and . . ." He was stuck in his sentence when he saw Joyce eyes widen. "I, uh, I think I w-will talk to her . . ." he said while he stood up and walked towards Buffy's room . . .