Chapter 05 - Realization
"Hai, Momo senpai! Dozo." "Hehe arigato." Momo was bombarded with the first year girls who gave him cookies. His admirers. They ran off giggling out what he never knew. He walked along the school yards whistling and hands in pockets, when he heard murmuring and whispers coming from the 2nd gym. He peeked inside through the slightly open sliding doors. "Sugoii na." "Who is she?"
"I don't know, she's been here for a few months, but I don't know." Momo blinked, "Ryuzaki chan," he whispered. There she was, dressed in a kimono. Not the fancy traditional type, but the type you wear to do archery. He looked down at her target. "Nani? Only one?" but then his eyes trailed down to the ground. There lay a few other arrows. She was now lining up another arrow and shot it. It knocked the one on the board off and replaced it right in the centre. "Holy." "Oi senpai, what are you doing? Perving on the girls are you?" "SHH Echizen. Come here and watch this."
I widened my eyes as I saw what Momo-senpai was watching. Sakuno. I couldn't believe it. All day I tried to get her out of my thoughts, and now I see her everywhere I go. She looked ever more beautiful with her hair tied up with a ribbon. When she was done, she bowed and headed off.
"Let's go senpai." I needed to think some more, or rather get rid of my thoughts.
* * *
I shuffled around endlessly on my bed that night. I couldn't get to sleep and I was becoming restless. I looked at my clock. 11:58 pm. "Muri da" I got up and slipped into some pants and a jacket. I left the house quietly and walked along quietly, listening to the night bugs as well as the own shuffling of my own feet. I walked for a long time, not knowing where I was going, or even having the intention of stopping. I finally stopped at a park/basketball/tennis area and glanced at my watch. 01:12 am. I've been out this long already. I don't even know where this place is. "Sakuno no baka!!" "Eh." I walked around the brick wall, and there she was. The girl who had taken control of my thoughts all day. She threw down her racket and it slid to my feet. I picked it up and was about to chastise her, when I saw that she was sitting on the ground crying. "but not once did I cry" she had said. I advanced up to her and didn't know what to do so I just stood by her side and watched. She couldn't feel my presence for so long that I had to crouch down and put my hand on her shoulder. Her reflexes were quick, and lucky for me I managed to dodge getting a black eye. I caught her flailing wrists. "Ryo- ryoma----kun. Doushite koko ni." "What about you? It's late here! It's dangerous for a girl to be out here by herself. Especially a girl beautiful as you---" I coughed my words and looked away. "Anyhow, do you know the danger you're putting yourself in?!" "I know." "Why then?!" "What's it to you Ryoma-kun?!" "Saa.." I loosened my grip on her, and pulled her onto her feet. "I didn't come back here to be yelled at by you! I wanted to return to a normal life! What is wrong with the people here?! Can' they get past the point that I no longer have parents?! They'll never understand!" she cried. I watched her falter in her words. I saw her pain, I realized that her words this morning were all lies. She was hurting as much as anyone else, even more. That much I could tell, but of course no one could understand it better than her. We could stand here and talk about it, soothe her, sympathise with her, but we won't be taking that pain to bed every night with us.
*Ryuzaki*
I stared angrily up at him. Despite my chest heaving and falling heavily, my clenched fists, my outburst, he looked at me with a different look. It wasn't the cold stare he used to have. I became scared of that look, although not long ago, I would have given everything to receive a look like that from him. "Hanase yo!" I tried to pull my wrists free from his grasp. He pulled me forward and encircled his arms around my waist. My eyes widened with disbelief. "I've missed you, Sakuno." I bowed my head onto his shoulder and cried freely. "Nande.nande." I whispered hoarsely, although not really caring if there was an answer. "I don't know Sakuno..at first I didn't know.and I also didn't care. But I was also angry that you didn't tell us. You just left. I couldn't feel your presence during my matches, but I thought you were there, because that friend of yours was so loud.so I thought you'd be by her side. When I finally realized that you weren't, I went to look for your grandmother, but of course she wasn't there either. You faded in and out my thoughts and dreams. Sometimes you're not in my thoughts and suddenly then next you are. I don't know what it is, but I want you to know this. Sakuno, I don't know how or why, but I know that we can't understand the suffer you're going through, but I want you to know that it's ok to admit your pain."
I listened to him talk. This is the most he's ever said to me. He was always short, sharp and blunt to the point of annoyance.
*Ryoma
I couldn't believe this. I was saying all this stuff that I never knew I had in me. I was talking a lot too. "You've changed.Ryoma-kun." She said into my chest. "..how." "You never use to talk like this.actually you never use to talk at all. You snapped and ignored, and you never called me by my name, not even Ryuzaki.
I chuckled slightly, then caught myself. I'm laughing? I do this all the time with the senpais, but this is a first with a girl. They were usually rather annoying. I eased her away from my chest and looked at her. "Come on, let's go home. Well more like I'll take you home. How far from here?" "Um.about 45-50 minutes." "WHAT!!" "What?" "You're out here this late? And it's going to take you that long to get home on foot?"
She nodded at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Taku.you're really putting yourself in danger you know." "Not really. The way I'm dressed no one will it's me or rather a girl." I took at good look at her. She was dressed in baggy clothes with a beanie on her head, but her hair was still flowing out under it. Who was she kidding. Anyone could tell she was a girl, and a pretty one at that. She was also small, petite and delicate, no guy was like that. I just shook my head at her. I crouched down and retrieved her racket then I went to put everything in her bag. "Saa iko. Show me the way." I carried her bag on one shoulder then reached for her hand. We walked hand in hand silently. Her hand was so soft and small, and it fit right into my own. It felt really comforting, and maybe, just maybe I'm feeling more for her than I thought I ever could. I was debating myself inside my head at just how or when did I feel this for her. It had been a while before she returned but I couldn't distinct it. I was so into my thoughts I didn't even hear her calling me. "Ryoma-kun.what's wrong?"
"Betsuni.." "Ahh sou. I was wondering.what are you doing here, you don't live around this area. You live..a while away." "I do, but I couldn't sleep tonight (because of you) so I went for a walk, I just kept walking and found myself here." Almost like I was drawn here. "It's too far and late for you to walk back now." she looked at her house, and her fingers tightened around mine. "How about you stay for the night. It wouldn't be any good if something happened to you, or you didn't catch enough sleep for tomorrow." I looked at her as if she was crazy. She burst out laughing at my expression. "Of course you'll get your own room. No weird ideas please." How did she know what I was thinking. "Err what about your grandmother?" I could just imagine the old hag going off at me. Firstly at where they've been, why they're so late. Then she'd ask why he was there in the first place since she left alone. I shuddered at the thought. "My grandmother.doesn't live here. She's not in Tokyo anymore, or at the moment really." "She's not? So you live alone?" She nodded looking up at the small house. "How do you support yourself and how long has this been?" "It's been about.2 ½ months, since I came back from Wakayama. This house is actually ours, so no rent payment, all payments gets paid to Wakayama. I will be starting work in two weeks, so I'll be alright. Come let's go inside, it's getting cold out here." She tugged my hand and I followed her. "Hai..irashai." she said as we stepped in. I closed the front door behind me. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. The house was so empty and quiet, it was eery, and yet she was still acting cheerful about it. She turned on her lights, then she took my hand again. "Here is the spare room. The bathroom is just down the hall over there, and my room is just across from yours. Make yourself at home. Goodnight Ryoma-kun." She smiled and turned to head off. "Matte." I grabbed her arm. "A-are you ok? I mean, will you be ok?" I was referring to the courts before. She smiled that smile of hers and stepped towards me. She rested her head on my shoulder, arms wrapped around my waist, and my arms automatically encircled her once more.
"Thank you so much for tonight Ryoma-kun. You have changed a lot. A lot of people change for the better. The old you was good.a little scary but I still liked you like that, but now, you've matured a lot. You have fun but you are still careful and quiet with certain things. I've changed, through not friendship like you have with the senpais, but over something else. It's something that no one can understand, even you Ryoma-kun. I don't mean to insult you, although your words are of great comfort to me, no one can understand it. Please try not to involve yourself again because it would only frustrate you." She told me in a calm voice.
She lifted her head and looked at me. "If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you had taken a great liking to my way of losing my pigtails. But Ryoma-kun is Ryoma-kun, he doesn't change that much and suddenly involves a girl in his life, neh?" she smiled and walked out of the room closing the door with a soft click. But I have changed that much, maybe not a lot, but in that area you least expect it Sakuno.
*Sakuno* I leaned against my door. It took every ounce not to confess to him. He seemed so.gentle and worried, I almost mistook it for something else. I thought after almost 1 ½ years I would get over him, I never expected to come back and him becoming like this. I'm so drawn to him and I keep seeing him and I don't get the chance to refuse my liking for him.
"Hai, Momo senpai! Dozo." "Hehe arigato." Momo was bombarded with the first year girls who gave him cookies. His admirers. They ran off giggling out what he never knew. He walked along the school yards whistling and hands in pockets, when he heard murmuring and whispers coming from the 2nd gym. He peeked inside through the slightly open sliding doors. "Sugoii na." "Who is she?"
"I don't know, she's been here for a few months, but I don't know." Momo blinked, "Ryuzaki chan," he whispered. There she was, dressed in a kimono. Not the fancy traditional type, but the type you wear to do archery. He looked down at her target. "Nani? Only one?" but then his eyes trailed down to the ground. There lay a few other arrows. She was now lining up another arrow and shot it. It knocked the one on the board off and replaced it right in the centre. "Holy." "Oi senpai, what are you doing? Perving on the girls are you?" "SHH Echizen. Come here and watch this."
I widened my eyes as I saw what Momo-senpai was watching. Sakuno. I couldn't believe it. All day I tried to get her out of my thoughts, and now I see her everywhere I go. She looked ever more beautiful with her hair tied up with a ribbon. When she was done, she bowed and headed off.
"Let's go senpai." I needed to think some more, or rather get rid of my thoughts.
* * *
I shuffled around endlessly on my bed that night. I couldn't get to sleep and I was becoming restless. I looked at my clock. 11:58 pm. "Muri da" I got up and slipped into some pants and a jacket. I left the house quietly and walked along quietly, listening to the night bugs as well as the own shuffling of my own feet. I walked for a long time, not knowing where I was going, or even having the intention of stopping. I finally stopped at a park/basketball/tennis area and glanced at my watch. 01:12 am. I've been out this long already. I don't even know where this place is. "Sakuno no baka!!" "Eh." I walked around the brick wall, and there she was. The girl who had taken control of my thoughts all day. She threw down her racket and it slid to my feet. I picked it up and was about to chastise her, when I saw that she was sitting on the ground crying. "but not once did I cry" she had said. I advanced up to her and didn't know what to do so I just stood by her side and watched. She couldn't feel my presence for so long that I had to crouch down and put my hand on her shoulder. Her reflexes were quick, and lucky for me I managed to dodge getting a black eye. I caught her flailing wrists. "Ryo- ryoma----kun. Doushite koko ni." "What about you? It's late here! It's dangerous for a girl to be out here by herself. Especially a girl beautiful as you---" I coughed my words and looked away. "Anyhow, do you know the danger you're putting yourself in?!" "I know." "Why then?!" "What's it to you Ryoma-kun?!" "Saa.." I loosened my grip on her, and pulled her onto her feet. "I didn't come back here to be yelled at by you! I wanted to return to a normal life! What is wrong with the people here?! Can' they get past the point that I no longer have parents?! They'll never understand!" she cried. I watched her falter in her words. I saw her pain, I realized that her words this morning were all lies. She was hurting as much as anyone else, even more. That much I could tell, but of course no one could understand it better than her. We could stand here and talk about it, soothe her, sympathise with her, but we won't be taking that pain to bed every night with us.
*Ryuzaki*
I stared angrily up at him. Despite my chest heaving and falling heavily, my clenched fists, my outburst, he looked at me with a different look. It wasn't the cold stare he used to have. I became scared of that look, although not long ago, I would have given everything to receive a look like that from him. "Hanase yo!" I tried to pull my wrists free from his grasp. He pulled me forward and encircled his arms around my waist. My eyes widened with disbelief. "I've missed you, Sakuno." I bowed my head onto his shoulder and cried freely. "Nande.nande." I whispered hoarsely, although not really caring if there was an answer. "I don't know Sakuno..at first I didn't know.and I also didn't care. But I was also angry that you didn't tell us. You just left. I couldn't feel your presence during my matches, but I thought you were there, because that friend of yours was so loud.so I thought you'd be by her side. When I finally realized that you weren't, I went to look for your grandmother, but of course she wasn't there either. You faded in and out my thoughts and dreams. Sometimes you're not in my thoughts and suddenly then next you are. I don't know what it is, but I want you to know this. Sakuno, I don't know how or why, but I know that we can't understand the suffer you're going through, but I want you to know that it's ok to admit your pain."
I listened to him talk. This is the most he's ever said to me. He was always short, sharp and blunt to the point of annoyance.
*Ryoma
I couldn't believe this. I was saying all this stuff that I never knew I had in me. I was talking a lot too. "You've changed.Ryoma-kun." She said into my chest. "..how." "You never use to talk like this.actually you never use to talk at all. You snapped and ignored, and you never called me by my name, not even Ryuzaki.
I chuckled slightly, then caught myself. I'm laughing? I do this all the time with the senpais, but this is a first with a girl. They were usually rather annoying. I eased her away from my chest and looked at her. "Come on, let's go home. Well more like I'll take you home. How far from here?" "Um.about 45-50 minutes." "WHAT!!" "What?" "You're out here this late? And it's going to take you that long to get home on foot?"
She nodded at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Taku.you're really putting yourself in danger you know." "Not really. The way I'm dressed no one will it's me or rather a girl." I took at good look at her. She was dressed in baggy clothes with a beanie on her head, but her hair was still flowing out under it. Who was she kidding. Anyone could tell she was a girl, and a pretty one at that. She was also small, petite and delicate, no guy was like that. I just shook my head at her. I crouched down and retrieved her racket then I went to put everything in her bag. "Saa iko. Show me the way." I carried her bag on one shoulder then reached for her hand. We walked hand in hand silently. Her hand was so soft and small, and it fit right into my own. It felt really comforting, and maybe, just maybe I'm feeling more for her than I thought I ever could. I was debating myself inside my head at just how or when did I feel this for her. It had been a while before she returned but I couldn't distinct it. I was so into my thoughts I didn't even hear her calling me. "Ryoma-kun.what's wrong?"
"Betsuni.." "Ahh sou. I was wondering.what are you doing here, you don't live around this area. You live..a while away." "I do, but I couldn't sleep tonight (because of you) so I went for a walk, I just kept walking and found myself here." Almost like I was drawn here. "It's too far and late for you to walk back now." she looked at her house, and her fingers tightened around mine. "How about you stay for the night. It wouldn't be any good if something happened to you, or you didn't catch enough sleep for tomorrow." I looked at her as if she was crazy. She burst out laughing at my expression. "Of course you'll get your own room. No weird ideas please." How did she know what I was thinking. "Err what about your grandmother?" I could just imagine the old hag going off at me. Firstly at where they've been, why they're so late. Then she'd ask why he was there in the first place since she left alone. I shuddered at the thought. "My grandmother.doesn't live here. She's not in Tokyo anymore, or at the moment really." "She's not? So you live alone?" She nodded looking up at the small house. "How do you support yourself and how long has this been?" "It's been about.2 ½ months, since I came back from Wakayama. This house is actually ours, so no rent payment, all payments gets paid to Wakayama. I will be starting work in two weeks, so I'll be alright. Come let's go inside, it's getting cold out here." She tugged my hand and I followed her. "Hai..irashai." she said as we stepped in. I closed the front door behind me. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. The house was so empty and quiet, it was eery, and yet she was still acting cheerful about it. She turned on her lights, then she took my hand again. "Here is the spare room. The bathroom is just down the hall over there, and my room is just across from yours. Make yourself at home. Goodnight Ryoma-kun." She smiled and turned to head off. "Matte." I grabbed her arm. "A-are you ok? I mean, will you be ok?" I was referring to the courts before. She smiled that smile of hers and stepped towards me. She rested her head on my shoulder, arms wrapped around my waist, and my arms automatically encircled her once more.
"Thank you so much for tonight Ryoma-kun. You have changed a lot. A lot of people change for the better. The old you was good.a little scary but I still liked you like that, but now, you've matured a lot. You have fun but you are still careful and quiet with certain things. I've changed, through not friendship like you have with the senpais, but over something else. It's something that no one can understand, even you Ryoma-kun. I don't mean to insult you, although your words are of great comfort to me, no one can understand it. Please try not to involve yourself again because it would only frustrate you." She told me in a calm voice.
She lifted her head and looked at me. "If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you had taken a great liking to my way of losing my pigtails. But Ryoma-kun is Ryoma-kun, he doesn't change that much and suddenly involves a girl in his life, neh?" she smiled and walked out of the room closing the door with a soft click. But I have changed that much, maybe not a lot, but in that area you least expect it Sakuno.
*Sakuno* I leaned against my door. It took every ounce not to confess to him. He seemed so.gentle and worried, I almost mistook it for something else. I thought after almost 1 ½ years I would get over him, I never expected to come back and him becoming like this. I'm so drawn to him and I keep seeing him and I don't get the chance to refuse my liking for him.