Chapter 09 - Self Confession
*Ryoma*
Am I afraid. What is there to be afraid of. There's so much to be afraid of.what if she doesn't feel the same way, I'd feel like an idiot. I would have shown my soft side for nothing. "Nothing will belong to you, if you don't give it a try." Was what Momo- senpai said. 'Wakatta dakedo." (I get that but..) "A lot of people change for the better." Was what she said. I didn't feel like this because she changed.I really missed her when she was gone. Could a tragedy really change someone so much? She's come back independent, skilled, angered and lonely. The Sakuno back in Junior high, couldn't hit a ball without falling over, she couldn't do anything on her own without being afraid or hesitant. And now she stayed out late for practise .for reasons other than practise I know, she shoots arrows with determination and anger and so much more. I've changed over the year little by little because of the senpais, but I'm still the same person.Wait, who am I trying to kid? I opened up more than ever whenever I'm around her.I did things I never did, said things I never said, acted the way I never thought I could act like before.
If I really didn't want this to happen, I would have closed myself up and ignored it, but I've been thinking about it all this time. Does that mean I'm not afraid to show a better side to Sakuno? It never occurred to me about having sides, I'm just myself. But just to see her smile, I acted and talked a way I never did before. She triggered something in me that happens automatically. The things I might otherwise have hesitated to do if I didn't feel so strong for her. I'm feeling so much, anger, frustration, need, hurt, a happiness I've never felt before, and.love?
I couldn't believe it, without her I was missing out on so much. The most simplest of things and I was missing out on them. She's not just anyone, she got through my stubbornness, coldness and stupidity...AHHHHHHHHH MADA MADA DANE!!!!!!
I gave up and flopped to a side on my bed and fell asleep.
*Ryoma*
Am I afraid. What is there to be afraid of. There's so much to be afraid of.what if she doesn't feel the same way, I'd feel like an idiot. I would have shown my soft side for nothing. "Nothing will belong to you, if you don't give it a try." Was what Momo- senpai said. 'Wakatta dakedo." (I get that but..) "A lot of people change for the better." Was what she said. I didn't feel like this because she changed.I really missed her when she was gone. Could a tragedy really change someone so much? She's come back independent, skilled, angered and lonely. The Sakuno back in Junior high, couldn't hit a ball without falling over, she couldn't do anything on her own without being afraid or hesitant. And now she stayed out late for practise .for reasons other than practise I know, she shoots arrows with determination and anger and so much more. I've changed over the year little by little because of the senpais, but I'm still the same person.Wait, who am I trying to kid? I opened up more than ever whenever I'm around her.I did things I never did, said things I never said, acted the way I never thought I could act like before.
If I really didn't want this to happen, I would have closed myself up and ignored it, but I've been thinking about it all this time. Does that mean I'm not afraid to show a better side to Sakuno? It never occurred to me about having sides, I'm just myself. But just to see her smile, I acted and talked a way I never did before. She triggered something in me that happens automatically. The things I might otherwise have hesitated to do if I didn't feel so strong for her. I'm feeling so much, anger, frustration, need, hurt, a happiness I've never felt before, and.love?
I couldn't believe it, without her I was missing out on so much. The most simplest of things and I was missing out on them. She's not just anyone, she got through my stubbornness, coldness and stupidity...AHHHHHHHHH MADA MADA DANE!!!!!!
I gave up and flopped to a side on my bed and fell asleep.