Title: Diplomacy 22
Author: Arisma
Rating: R Disclaimer: To the tune of Leslie Gore, "You don't own me"- I don't own it; don't try to claim it in any way. I don't own it; don't hunt me down 'cause I'll never pay! . Feedback: chalice_nazarene@hotmail.com -*--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**-- **--*-
She cleared her throat and her voice was soft, almost wistful. "When I was little I remember looking out my window and watching all the people moving outside. They would laugh and play and I always wanted to be among them. But it was forbidden. I lived in a tower, you see, and it was my world."
She cleared her throat and looked away from them, speaking quietly, as though to herself. "I knew from the earliest age that something was different about me. I lived alone in the tower but sometimes people would come to see me, and they were tall and beautiful and their clothes were shiny and soft. The woman rarely came but the man came nearly every month, though there was no telling when he would come and go. Sometimes he brought me toys, though he often had to show me how to use them. There was always something sad in his eyes when he looked at me and he would never touch me with his hands. It wasn't until much later that I knew he was my father, the king."
She shrugged her shoulders and continued. "In my youth I was tended by a nanny, or many nannies, I should say. Every few weeks a new one would arrive and the old depart, again without a fixed pattern. I never knew which face would greet me when I opened my eyes. Most were kind, as much as they could be to a stranger. Some were mean and they left quickly. Some would hold me
when I cried and they stayed the shortest of all. I learned not to cry, that it would just make them go faster. I wanted something real, something that was mine."
Legolas could hear the quiet sorrow in her voice and he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. She smiled and swallowed hard, continuing her story. "I wasn't alone all the time, I had tutors. For some reason it was important to them that I learn. I spent most of my days in lessons, history and etiquette. It was then I learned of the Quel'a'Har. That which I was taught was very different than the colorful story you have just told. To us you are the epitome of dishonor, rebelling against that which you do not understand, thinking only of yourselves and forgetting your duty to your people."
She shrugged and smiled lightly, meeting each mans' eyes in turn. "I don't know which story I prefer. In some ways it is easier to believe the version I was taught, to have a bad guy, a villain. But having met you, having seen your culture and the beauty you have wrung from the wastelands... I am no longer certain."
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, looking tiny and helpless. Legolas felt his heart break watching her, wanting desperately to hold her. "When I got older my birthdays melded and I was never sure just how old I was. At some point the tutors brought another student to learn with me. He was near my age and smiled at me when the tutor wasn't looking. We weren't allowed to talk for the longest time but eventually I learned his name. Kallo."
She smiled wistfully, brushing a tear from her eye and continuing with a small smile on her face. "He was the only person I had ever met who wasn't paid to spend time with me. Some of the tutors were less strict and would let us talk. It was from him that I learned the way the world outside the tower worked. He snuck me sweetcakes and showed me the joys of sticky faces. He taught me to laugh."
Her brow furrowed and her lips turned down into a small frown. "When I was a teenager Kallo snuck into the tower, as he was wont to do, but he was in a state as never I had seen. His cheeks were red and he paced angrily, he uttered a steady stream of profanity and I then understood why such words were forbidden. Finally he stopped and knelt before me, took my hands in his and told me why we had been allowed to be friends. He was to be my guardian, my protector. He would be the one to take me to Mondane when the time came, his would be the last face I saw before I became what I was to become."
"He was furious and swore he would never do it, would never give me to them. I begged him not to say anything to anyone. I knew if they knew how he felt I would never see him again. He was my only friend and I couldn't stand the thought of losing him. I made him swear to me, to vow, that when the time came he would hold my hand until he placed it in Mondane's. It broke his heart, but he did as I asked."
"Sometimes, late at night, we would make grand plans, ways to escape, where we would run, the grand adventures we would have. Kallo was my brother and my savior. He taught me to dream. The day came when I reached majority and my father came, unexpectedly, and told me that for my begetting day I would receive whatever I wished, so long as it was in his power to give. I asked for time to think, for I wanted to talk with Kallo, to get his advice."
"Two days later my father returned and I told him I wanted to be a warrior. I wanted to train, to be the best. I wanted to prove myself, I said." Her voice broke then, and she rested her cheek against her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. Unable to stand the sight of her weeping alone Legolas moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, brushing her hair from her face, pressing soft kisses to her temples. She held onto him for a minute and then gently pushed him away.
With a sigh she continued. "He consented, having left himself little choice. I don't know what possessed him to make so grand an offer, though perhaps it was an attempt to lessen his own guilt. Whatever the reason I was given a trainer. He was merciless and treated me with utter indifference. He pushed me until I was ready to break and then pushed a while longer. He made me from a soft princess into a warrior, and for that I can't ever thank him enough. Kallo trained as well, sometimes with me and sometimes with others. At some point it became known that I had a good measure of skill with the blade and I was allowed a commission with the army."
"When I first stepped from the tower I was terrified. I had never been outside. Not once in all my days. To feel the sun on me was incredible but the people all around, the noise and the press of bodies... it was just too much. I was ready to turn and run back inside, to reject my hard won freedom before I ever tasted it. But then, across the square I saw Kallo and he guided me with his eyes. Before I knew it I had crossed the whole thing and together we left the only world I had ever known."
"It was a long journey and I learned something of people on it, talking with the troops at night, putting my tutoring into effect. Some of them would want to pat my back or shake my hand but contact made me nervous. The only person who had ever touched me was Kallo, and then in a purely brotherly manner. He kept them away, the ones who wanted more than friendship. You've seen him, it takes a very special person to stand up to so large an elf."
"We arrived at our destination and I was stunned at the place, the lush greenness of it. Even after Mondane's magic Quelnessar seemed so... desolate compared to a real forest. The trees were so large, so dense. And the people. They were so open, so happy. They accepted me as just another of my people. I stayed with my troops, getting to know them, trying to find a balance between my fear and the courage I needed for command."
She smiled lightly and sat straighter as she continued. "And then one day the emissaries came to the camp and said they wanted two of the best to compete for the native royalty. At first I chose two of my Elves and sent them. But then my curiosity got the best of me and I pulled rank, claiming my heritage for the first and last time and invoking the title of princess to be allowed to represent my people with my art."
"I had no idea that my life would change when I entered that clearing. But it did. I saw you, love, and felt something inside me break. It was like I was a half person and seeing you made me realize it for the first time. And from there, you know the story." She looked away, her shoulders slumped, exhausted from the telling.
Caledan spoke softly, with something like pity in his voice. "No Rhyalla, that is not all. Now is the time to tell of what your life was while you were in that place, what your purpose was."
Her head snapped up and she paled, her hand going to clasp nervously at her throat. "Do...do I have to?"
Immediately Legolas folded her in his arms again, holding her tight to him. "No love, no you don't." he said, calmly, repetitively, rocking her gently.
"But she does, Taren. You need to know the price she paid. To get through this there must be no secrets between you two." Legolas flashed Caledan a look of pure hate but the other elf met his eyes calmly. "You know I speak the truth, Tarien."
She nodded and pushed away from Legolas, her skin so pale and her eyes so bright. "When I arrived there, I knew where I was. I had hoped that you had escaped, but I learned quickly that it was not the case. I had planned for it, you see. I didn't know just what would happen, but I knew it would be awful. And so I had planned to starve myself, to waste away before whatever horrid fate Mondane had planned for me could happen. But because they had taken you as well, I couldn't do as I had planned. They threatened your safety constantly to get me to do what they wanted. And of course, because I love you, I did it."
"If I had gone to him from the tower, if I had never met you I would have been his consort. I would have sat atop a throne and been as a queen. Without you I would have smiled as he drained my life. But as it was I had known your love, in every sense, and as such it was beneath him to lay with me. And since I denied him the luxury of a delivered bride he denied me the only thing he thought I had left once he had taken my freedom. My pride."
"He sold my services to whomever wanted them, in whatever way. Some of them wanted to study me, as one would an insect. Some merely to talk, though they were few and far between. Most wanted my body, either in lust or anger, and to this day I don't know which was worse." Her voice trailed away and she wiped her hand across her eyes and looked away, wistfully, gathering her thoughts.
Watching her Legolas felt his love swell for her, amazed at her courage and strength. He tried to imagine what it would be like to live such a desolate life, never knowing compassion or acceptance, never knowing the loving touch of another hand. He felt the first tear slide down his cheek and he let it, seeing with his mind's eye the tiny version of Rhya that had lived in that cold tower and dreamed of something more.
Legolas wrapped his arms around her and started to rise, to bring her back to their tent and hold her until she stopped hurting. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he raised his eyes to meet the cool blue of Caledans' eyes. "Not yet, Taren. There is more you must hear, more for her to tell." At first Legolas prepared to argue, but Rhya stopped him, nodding as Caledan spoke. Caledan took her from Legolas' arms and sat her back on the cushions. Frustrated but with no choice, Legolas settled next to her again, watching as the elder elf moved away and sat facing them. "Tell of your true purpose there, Tarien. Why did he really want you?"
She looked up with something of dull humor in her eyes. "Yes, imagine my surprise the first time he came. I had expected him to come the first week or so, but he never had. He'd sold my services, as you know, but I had never seen him before, in private. In truth I had only seen him once at all,
during the first ball I had ever attended. He paraded me in front of his lackeys, smiling and listening as they mocked me. He liked that I blushed, that I was hurt. He liked that he made me feel small and dirty. And that night he sold me to the only enemy I had ever made. Unfortunately, love, you were present to witness my fall from grace."
She looked away from him, not meeting his eyes, her voice tiny and embarrassed. He gently touched her face, lifting her chin until their eyes met. To him Caledan had ceased to exist, and his words were for Rhyalla alone. "You did what you had to, love. There is no shame in surviving. Whatever you had to do, whatever they tried to make of you, they failed. You are still precious to me. You never fell from grace, not even in the slightest."
She smiled at him, tears standing in her eyes and continued softly. "It was a week or more later that he came, Mondane. I thought he would take me then, as the others had, and I had resigned myself to it by then. Instead he spoke to me, as a person. I was shocked, to say the least. Gradually though I relaxed in his presence. I don't know if it was a spell or my desperate want
for comfort. Either way, I began to trust him. We talked until the sun rose anew, and when we left he took my hands in his. It was then I felt the first pains, deep and hot. I lost consciousness and awoke in my bed, so sore I felt I had been beaten to within an inch of my life. I didn't know then what he had done, or why."
"I had been given a maid, and though we sparred constantly, we became something like friends. That is due to you, love. Apparently, one day, you helped her son, who is also a servant there. You see, in Mondane's realm, no one helps anyone else, ever. It's too easy to have an accident if word gets around that you put your nose in other's business. But because of that she took the chance of befriending me and she told me what was happening to me. Mondane would steal a part of me, of my life energies, my spirit, if you will."
"But why?" the question was torn from Legolas' slack lips, startled at the thought of such a heinous act. "Isn't he immortal?"
She nodded, confirming his life span. "Mondane is a powerful man. He will never die a natural death. He didn't take it for his use, he took it for his pleasure. He drank it like a fine wine. That's what he really wanted me for. Traditionally he would take it from his consort during lovemaking, but
because I was of no use to him in that way he had to rip it from me in skin to skin contact. Apparently it was much less painful the other way." She shrugged and then continued, an air of hopelessness about her. "And that was the fate my father sent me to, the fate for which I was born. As were so many before me."
Legolas felt Caledans' eyes on him and fought a crazy urge to hit him, to beat him. Partially for knowing of this and doing nothing, but mostly for making her relive it for the telling. The Elf nodded and spoke then, his voice low. "Take her to rest, Taren. We can discuss the rest of what needs to be said later. For now, take her. A repast will await you in your tent."
Without a word Legolas swept her up in his arms and carried her out, her head resting wearily on his shoulder. With a final backward glance to the man sitting in the dimness of the tent, he made for their own lodgings, carefully avoiding any who would offer assistance. True to his word food lay
arranged on the table but Legolas avoided it, carrying her straight to the bed and laying her atop it. He climbed next to her and twined his arms around her, clutching her to him.
His emotions raged and he wanted to strike something, to rip and tear. Instead he felt tears leave him, helpless rage that the one he loved had been so hurt. He heard Rhya sobbing quietly and squeezed her against him, trying to be strong for her as the tears slid silently down his face.
Author: Arisma
Rating: R Disclaimer: To the tune of Leslie Gore, "You don't own me"- I don't own it; don't try to claim it in any way. I don't own it; don't hunt me down 'cause I'll never pay! . Feedback: chalice_nazarene@hotmail.com -*--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**--**-- **--*-
She cleared her throat and her voice was soft, almost wistful. "When I was little I remember looking out my window and watching all the people moving outside. They would laugh and play and I always wanted to be among them. But it was forbidden. I lived in a tower, you see, and it was my world."
She cleared her throat and looked away from them, speaking quietly, as though to herself. "I knew from the earliest age that something was different about me. I lived alone in the tower but sometimes people would come to see me, and they were tall and beautiful and their clothes were shiny and soft. The woman rarely came but the man came nearly every month, though there was no telling when he would come and go. Sometimes he brought me toys, though he often had to show me how to use them. There was always something sad in his eyes when he looked at me and he would never touch me with his hands. It wasn't until much later that I knew he was my father, the king."
She shrugged her shoulders and continued. "In my youth I was tended by a nanny, or many nannies, I should say. Every few weeks a new one would arrive and the old depart, again without a fixed pattern. I never knew which face would greet me when I opened my eyes. Most were kind, as much as they could be to a stranger. Some were mean and they left quickly. Some would hold me
when I cried and they stayed the shortest of all. I learned not to cry, that it would just make them go faster. I wanted something real, something that was mine."
Legolas could hear the quiet sorrow in her voice and he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. She smiled and swallowed hard, continuing her story. "I wasn't alone all the time, I had tutors. For some reason it was important to them that I learn. I spent most of my days in lessons, history and etiquette. It was then I learned of the Quel'a'Har. That which I was taught was very different than the colorful story you have just told. To us you are the epitome of dishonor, rebelling against that which you do not understand, thinking only of yourselves and forgetting your duty to your people."
She shrugged and smiled lightly, meeting each mans' eyes in turn. "I don't know which story I prefer. In some ways it is easier to believe the version I was taught, to have a bad guy, a villain. But having met you, having seen your culture and the beauty you have wrung from the wastelands... I am no longer certain."
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, looking tiny and helpless. Legolas felt his heart break watching her, wanting desperately to hold her. "When I got older my birthdays melded and I was never sure just how old I was. At some point the tutors brought another student to learn with me. He was near my age and smiled at me when the tutor wasn't looking. We weren't allowed to talk for the longest time but eventually I learned his name. Kallo."
She smiled wistfully, brushing a tear from her eye and continuing with a small smile on her face. "He was the only person I had ever met who wasn't paid to spend time with me. Some of the tutors were less strict and would let us talk. It was from him that I learned the way the world outside the tower worked. He snuck me sweetcakes and showed me the joys of sticky faces. He taught me to laugh."
Her brow furrowed and her lips turned down into a small frown. "When I was a teenager Kallo snuck into the tower, as he was wont to do, but he was in a state as never I had seen. His cheeks were red and he paced angrily, he uttered a steady stream of profanity and I then understood why such words were forbidden. Finally he stopped and knelt before me, took my hands in his and told me why we had been allowed to be friends. He was to be my guardian, my protector. He would be the one to take me to Mondane when the time came, his would be the last face I saw before I became what I was to become."
"He was furious and swore he would never do it, would never give me to them. I begged him not to say anything to anyone. I knew if they knew how he felt I would never see him again. He was my only friend and I couldn't stand the thought of losing him. I made him swear to me, to vow, that when the time came he would hold my hand until he placed it in Mondane's. It broke his heart, but he did as I asked."
"Sometimes, late at night, we would make grand plans, ways to escape, where we would run, the grand adventures we would have. Kallo was my brother and my savior. He taught me to dream. The day came when I reached majority and my father came, unexpectedly, and told me that for my begetting day I would receive whatever I wished, so long as it was in his power to give. I asked for time to think, for I wanted to talk with Kallo, to get his advice."
"Two days later my father returned and I told him I wanted to be a warrior. I wanted to train, to be the best. I wanted to prove myself, I said." Her voice broke then, and she rested her cheek against her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. Unable to stand the sight of her weeping alone Legolas moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, brushing her hair from her face, pressing soft kisses to her temples. She held onto him for a minute and then gently pushed him away.
With a sigh she continued. "He consented, having left himself little choice. I don't know what possessed him to make so grand an offer, though perhaps it was an attempt to lessen his own guilt. Whatever the reason I was given a trainer. He was merciless and treated me with utter indifference. He pushed me until I was ready to break and then pushed a while longer. He made me from a soft princess into a warrior, and for that I can't ever thank him enough. Kallo trained as well, sometimes with me and sometimes with others. At some point it became known that I had a good measure of skill with the blade and I was allowed a commission with the army."
"When I first stepped from the tower I was terrified. I had never been outside. Not once in all my days. To feel the sun on me was incredible but the people all around, the noise and the press of bodies... it was just too much. I was ready to turn and run back inside, to reject my hard won freedom before I ever tasted it. But then, across the square I saw Kallo and he guided me with his eyes. Before I knew it I had crossed the whole thing and together we left the only world I had ever known."
"It was a long journey and I learned something of people on it, talking with the troops at night, putting my tutoring into effect. Some of them would want to pat my back or shake my hand but contact made me nervous. The only person who had ever touched me was Kallo, and then in a purely brotherly manner. He kept them away, the ones who wanted more than friendship. You've seen him, it takes a very special person to stand up to so large an elf."
"We arrived at our destination and I was stunned at the place, the lush greenness of it. Even after Mondane's magic Quelnessar seemed so... desolate compared to a real forest. The trees were so large, so dense. And the people. They were so open, so happy. They accepted me as just another of my people. I stayed with my troops, getting to know them, trying to find a balance between my fear and the courage I needed for command."
She smiled lightly and sat straighter as she continued. "And then one day the emissaries came to the camp and said they wanted two of the best to compete for the native royalty. At first I chose two of my Elves and sent them. But then my curiosity got the best of me and I pulled rank, claiming my heritage for the first and last time and invoking the title of princess to be allowed to represent my people with my art."
"I had no idea that my life would change when I entered that clearing. But it did. I saw you, love, and felt something inside me break. It was like I was a half person and seeing you made me realize it for the first time. And from there, you know the story." She looked away, her shoulders slumped, exhausted from the telling.
Caledan spoke softly, with something like pity in his voice. "No Rhyalla, that is not all. Now is the time to tell of what your life was while you were in that place, what your purpose was."
Her head snapped up and she paled, her hand going to clasp nervously at her throat. "Do...do I have to?"
Immediately Legolas folded her in his arms again, holding her tight to him. "No love, no you don't." he said, calmly, repetitively, rocking her gently.
"But she does, Taren. You need to know the price she paid. To get through this there must be no secrets between you two." Legolas flashed Caledan a look of pure hate but the other elf met his eyes calmly. "You know I speak the truth, Tarien."
She nodded and pushed away from Legolas, her skin so pale and her eyes so bright. "When I arrived there, I knew where I was. I had hoped that you had escaped, but I learned quickly that it was not the case. I had planned for it, you see. I didn't know just what would happen, but I knew it would be awful. And so I had planned to starve myself, to waste away before whatever horrid fate Mondane had planned for me could happen. But because they had taken you as well, I couldn't do as I had planned. They threatened your safety constantly to get me to do what they wanted. And of course, because I love you, I did it."
"If I had gone to him from the tower, if I had never met you I would have been his consort. I would have sat atop a throne and been as a queen. Without you I would have smiled as he drained my life. But as it was I had known your love, in every sense, and as such it was beneath him to lay with me. And since I denied him the luxury of a delivered bride he denied me the only thing he thought I had left once he had taken my freedom. My pride."
"He sold my services to whomever wanted them, in whatever way. Some of them wanted to study me, as one would an insect. Some merely to talk, though they were few and far between. Most wanted my body, either in lust or anger, and to this day I don't know which was worse." Her voice trailed away and she wiped her hand across her eyes and looked away, wistfully, gathering her thoughts.
Watching her Legolas felt his love swell for her, amazed at her courage and strength. He tried to imagine what it would be like to live such a desolate life, never knowing compassion or acceptance, never knowing the loving touch of another hand. He felt the first tear slide down his cheek and he let it, seeing with his mind's eye the tiny version of Rhya that had lived in that cold tower and dreamed of something more.
Legolas wrapped his arms around her and started to rise, to bring her back to their tent and hold her until she stopped hurting. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and he raised his eyes to meet the cool blue of Caledans' eyes. "Not yet, Taren. There is more you must hear, more for her to tell." At first Legolas prepared to argue, but Rhya stopped him, nodding as Caledan spoke. Caledan took her from Legolas' arms and sat her back on the cushions. Frustrated but with no choice, Legolas settled next to her again, watching as the elder elf moved away and sat facing them. "Tell of your true purpose there, Tarien. Why did he really want you?"
She looked up with something of dull humor in her eyes. "Yes, imagine my surprise the first time he came. I had expected him to come the first week or so, but he never had. He'd sold my services, as you know, but I had never seen him before, in private. In truth I had only seen him once at all,
during the first ball I had ever attended. He paraded me in front of his lackeys, smiling and listening as they mocked me. He liked that I blushed, that I was hurt. He liked that he made me feel small and dirty. And that night he sold me to the only enemy I had ever made. Unfortunately, love, you were present to witness my fall from grace."
She looked away from him, not meeting his eyes, her voice tiny and embarrassed. He gently touched her face, lifting her chin until their eyes met. To him Caledan had ceased to exist, and his words were for Rhyalla alone. "You did what you had to, love. There is no shame in surviving. Whatever you had to do, whatever they tried to make of you, they failed. You are still precious to me. You never fell from grace, not even in the slightest."
She smiled at him, tears standing in her eyes and continued softly. "It was a week or more later that he came, Mondane. I thought he would take me then, as the others had, and I had resigned myself to it by then. Instead he spoke to me, as a person. I was shocked, to say the least. Gradually though I relaxed in his presence. I don't know if it was a spell or my desperate want
for comfort. Either way, I began to trust him. We talked until the sun rose anew, and when we left he took my hands in his. It was then I felt the first pains, deep and hot. I lost consciousness and awoke in my bed, so sore I felt I had been beaten to within an inch of my life. I didn't know then what he had done, or why."
"I had been given a maid, and though we sparred constantly, we became something like friends. That is due to you, love. Apparently, one day, you helped her son, who is also a servant there. You see, in Mondane's realm, no one helps anyone else, ever. It's too easy to have an accident if word gets around that you put your nose in other's business. But because of that she took the chance of befriending me and she told me what was happening to me. Mondane would steal a part of me, of my life energies, my spirit, if you will."
"But why?" the question was torn from Legolas' slack lips, startled at the thought of such a heinous act. "Isn't he immortal?"
She nodded, confirming his life span. "Mondane is a powerful man. He will never die a natural death. He didn't take it for his use, he took it for his pleasure. He drank it like a fine wine. That's what he really wanted me for. Traditionally he would take it from his consort during lovemaking, but
because I was of no use to him in that way he had to rip it from me in skin to skin contact. Apparently it was much less painful the other way." She shrugged and then continued, an air of hopelessness about her. "And that was the fate my father sent me to, the fate for which I was born. As were so many before me."
Legolas felt Caledans' eyes on him and fought a crazy urge to hit him, to beat him. Partially for knowing of this and doing nothing, but mostly for making her relive it for the telling. The Elf nodded and spoke then, his voice low. "Take her to rest, Taren. We can discuss the rest of what needs to be said later. For now, take her. A repast will await you in your tent."
Without a word Legolas swept her up in his arms and carried her out, her head resting wearily on his shoulder. With a final backward glance to the man sitting in the dimness of the tent, he made for their own lodgings, carefully avoiding any who would offer assistance. True to his word food lay
arranged on the table but Legolas avoided it, carrying her straight to the bed and laying her atop it. He climbed next to her and twined his arms around her, clutching her to him.
His emotions raged and he wanted to strike something, to rip and tear. Instead he felt tears leave him, helpless rage that the one he loved had been so hurt. He heard Rhya sobbing quietly and squeezed her against him, trying to be strong for her as the tears slid silently down his face.