[Disclaimer] I don't own Radio Free Roscoe...I own Alexandra Strong, a.k.a. Alex but that's about all, mmkay? You Can't Lose Me is a song by O-Town off their second CD, O2 and Anytime is a song by Kelly Clarkson off her debut album Thankful.
[Summary] Alex discovers the reason Robbie's been avoiding her...
[Author's Notes] Okay, well...I decided to write this Robbie/Alex one-shot that may or may not have anything to do with the Holiday Matchmaking storyline but I hope you enjoy anyway...by the way, if you don't like this, let me know. This isn't the official way the pair hook up; this is just something I wrote 'coz I was bored in my English class.
I've gotten some really positive feedback about Alex from a few reviewers of Holiday Matchmaking...I just wanna say thanks for the support and thanks for giving Alex a chance. Hoping not to disappoint y'all!
Drop me a line at explosive_lil_dynamo@yahoo.com if you have any comments, ideas or suggestions you want me to consider for Holiday Matchmaking or any future stories with Alex. I'm open to all constructive critisism and new ideas.
You Can't Lose Me
by explosive*lil*dynamo
~*~*~
"Anytime you feel/Like you just can't hold on/Just hold on to my love/And I'll help you be strong/But you're so afraid to lose/And baby I can't reach your heart/I can't face this wall that's keeping us apart" - Anytime by Kelly Clarkson
~*~*~
"Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Why don't you stay for brunch..."
"I can't, Alex..."
"Robbie, what's wrong?"
"I gotta go..."
Sitting at her desk, Alex glanced at the last few pages of her old red journal where she described her New Year's experiences and sighed as the last words she exchanged with Robbie replayed in her head. She had awoken to find that Robbie was headed out the Brennons' front door.
She grabbed her brand new black leather journal and opened it at the first page. She decided it was time for her to write in it. Robbie wouldn't have given her a personalized gift like it if he didn't care about her. He wouldn't have kissed her the way he did if her feelings weren't returned. Something didn't add up and she was ready to do a little investigating. Nothing helped her more than writing whenever she was confused.
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January 4, 2004
I'm worried about Robbie...he's hiding something. I know deep down he feels the same way about me and I know my feelings are returned. The way he kissed me at New Year's...you don't just kiss anyone like that. It doesn't add up. He's hiding something and he's hiding it well.
What can I do about this? I don't want him to miss out on love, whether it's with me or someone else...what could have hurt him enough to make him be afraid to let someone in? I hope it wasn't me...because despite how much I hate Kim Carlisle, I would suck it all up in a heartbeat for Robbie and I hope I didn't hurt him by saying the stuff I said on Christmas Eve.
-^-^-*-^-^-*-^-^--^-^-*-^-^-*-^-^--^-^-*-^-^-*-^-^-
The phone rang as she was finishing her sentence. She stopped her entry and answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey, Alex!" Lily's voice made its way to her ears.
Alex replied, "Hey, Lil, what's going on?"
"Have you seen Robbie or gotten in touch with him since New Year's?" Lily asked her carefully.
"No, but the day is young," Alex replied, "I'll call him again after lunch. Why? What's going on? Is he in trouble?"
"He never told you," Lily said quietly, "Uh..."
Alex becamed alarmed. "Lily, what is it?"
"It's exactly four years ago today that Robbie's dad died in a plane crash," Lily explained, "You need to go to him and talk to him. No one's been able to reach him and Ray and I are hoping you can get through to him."
"I don't wanna get you in trouble..." Alex pointed out, "He didn't want me to know otherwise he would have told me...wouldn't he get mad at you for telling me or something?"
"I don't care," Lily told her defiantly, "Someone's gotta reach out to him..."
"I don't know...it's not my place..." Alex said hesitantly.
Lily encouraged her, "You're a writer...a great one at that. You've always had a way with words. You'll find the right thing to say. Just speak from the heart."
"Okay, I'll find him after lunch...thanks, Lily," Alex said after a moment's pause.
Lily replied, "You're welcome and good luck. Bye."
"Bye."
As Alex hung up the phone, she heard Travis' voice say, "Alex, lunchtime!"
"Okay, be right down!" she yelled out as she slammed her journals shut and stuffed them into her drawer.
~*~*~
Travis faced Alex at the dining room table during lunch. Something was up and he could sense it.
"Don't look at me like that, Travis," Alex snapped, noticing that Travis was studying her.
"You're frustrated with Robbie, aren't you?" Travis commented calmly.
"I was but now I know what's wrong, so drop it," Alex replied in a slightly calmer tone of voice than before but it was still snappish.
Travis took a sip of his water and continued eating.
After a few minutes of poking at her pasta, Alex asked, "Hey, what do you know about Robbie's family? Are you guys close?"
"Well, Robbie was my first friend in Roscoe...I'm closer to him than I am to Ray..."
"Did he ever tell you about his dad?" Alex asked quietly.
"No...is everything okay?"
"Yeah, just wondering..." Alex lied, feeling better once she heard that she wasn't the only one who was kept in the dark.
~*~*~
After lunch, Alex grabbed her bright red coat and got out into the January cold to search for Robbie. She was about to head to his house but then she turned around and went the opposite direction towards the cemetary.
A beep from her phone signaled a text message. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it. It was from Ray.
[Good luck with Robbie. I so want you guys to hook up! You two deserve to be as happy as Lily and me - Ray :)]
Alex smiled and replied to Ray as she walked on. [Thanks. I'm hoping he'll hear me. - Alex]
Finally she reached the main gate to the cemetary. She took a quick glance around and realized that Robbie's father might have been burried deeper inside. She opened the gate and walked inside. She explored the different graves and found footsteps leading to a big oak tree. She followed them and found someone kneeling down by a grave near the tree. She decided to get closer so she began to walk quietly.
"...I'm so scared, Dad...I've met the perfect girl but I'm afraid I'll lose her once I let her in, just like I lost you..."
Recognizing his voice, Alex stood behind him and said, "Robbie, the only way you'll lose me is if you never let me in."
Robbie stood up and turned to face her. "What are you doing here?" he said, half-angry, half-sad, "Why are you here?"
"I came to check on you because I care," Alex said gently, not moving from her spot, crossing her arms over her chest to make her point.
"How'd you know I was here? Lily told you, didn't she?"
Robbie looked angry but that didn't faze Alex. "That's not important...what's important is that I'm here and I want to be here for you. You've avoided me for two days...I just wanted to see if you were okay."
"Go away...I never needed you before and I don't need you now," Robbie said coldly.
"It doesn't matter if you push me away, McGrath, because I'll keep coming back," Alex told him in a firm voice, "You have to snap out of it and realize that you're not alone. Ray and Lily are worried about you and I know Travis doesn't know but you should tell him. That's what friends are for." She paused for dramatic effect, then added, "Most importantly, you have me."
"I'll lose you too, just like I lost my grandfather and my father," Robbie said after turning around and looking down at his father's grave.
"There are so many people around you that love you and care about you," Alex pointed out, "You need to stop doing this to yourself, Robbie."
"I always lose the ones I love..." Robbie paused to turn to face Alex again before adding, "I can't love you, Alex...not if I'm gonna lose you too."
Alex looked him straight in the eye, grabbed his right hand with both of hers and told him in a fierce voice, "Do you feel my hands holding yours? Do you hear my voice and what I'm saying to you? I'm still here. I haven't left. I didn't go when you told me to. I didn't let you push me away. I'm still here and you can't lose me. I'll stand by you until you're ready to love again. I've never loved anyone the way I love you and I'll love you like there's no tomorrow...and maybe someday, hopefully, you can love me back."
Robbie's eyes started watering up. "Do you mean that?" he asked her.
"Oh I do, Robbie. I've never loved anyone the way I love you," Alex told him quietly.
Robbie wrapped her in a hug and told her, "Thanks for not giving up on me."
Alex hugged him back and replied, "Thanks for letting me love you." After a pause, she pulled away and asked him, "Are you cold? We could get some hot chocolate at Mickey's, on me."
Robbie nodded as they headed for the gate side-by-side, holding each other's hands.
[More Author's Notes] Wasn't that just extremely sappy, everyone? What do you y'all think about it???
[Shoutouts]
cherryblossomjen - Thanks for being one of the first Alex supporters out there, way before there was even a hint of Robbie/Alex-ness.
mistress of the universe - You're a complete genius! Way to help me write a brilliant fic without an OC in sight and thanks for becoming a Robbie/Alex shipper! :)
eyes of a child - Why can't everyone review and have constructive critisism like you? Lil Miss Grammar Nitpicker...XD
AKADropsOfJupiter - Hey, where are you at? We still need to team up for the Ray/Lily-ness. When are we gonna continue that one-shot?
British Chicky - I've made a believer out of you, didn't I??? XD Your LJ icons rock my socks!
Draco-luvr - Hey, hey, hey!!! What's going down??? Yeppers, long chapters rock! XsesenX and I had no idea it was actually that long...
XsesenX - If it weren't for you writting Robbie's character in such a brilliant way, the whole Robbie/Alex dynamic would never have existed! Baby, it takes two to tango!
To all those other Alex fans whose names escape me right now, thanks a whole mega bunch and I'll get you next time! :)